Torturous Love : Version 3 - 5. TL v3: Chapter 5

He lied. It was the first coherent thought that made it into Tobias’s mind. That bastard, he lied. He is going to hurt me.

Tobias opened his mouth to scream, but there was no sound, no air, no sensation of his body or his lungs, or the hands which he knew he was clenching into fists. There was nothing but pain, and a heat so intense it was almost cold.

I am inside the portal stone. He trapped me in here.

That’s fucking ridiculous.

Tobias tried to open his eyes, but he didn’t have any eyes he could find, which meant the searing brightness which surrounded him was somehow inside him, ripping through him with its flaming hot winds and carving away at his soul. There was nothing to feel but heat and pain, and Tobias thought he’d have much rather been lost in the beautiful starry blackness he’d seen inside Zai’s head.

No you wouldn’t. It’s freezing in The Way.

Tobias reached out – though not with his hands – and clung tightly to Zai’s rich voice in his head.

Where are you!?

Here. Right here.

Zai! I’m scared!

Why?

Tobias felt the shadow of a touch, Zai’s soft fur against his cheek. Then the familiar sharpness of his claws, and Tobias raised a hand and slapped the demon. He blinked, and suddenly he was standing exactly where he had been, inches away from Zai, in another world.

I thought there would be stars…

“You missed The Way. You tried to read the emotions of the portal stone. I wouldn’t recommend doing that again any time soon.”

Tobias’s eyes crept from Zai’s face, and he looked up, and up. The sky was pitch black and so close that Tobias felt like he could have touched it from the top of the hay barn roof, dotted with bright points that were not stars and which gave much more light than should have been possible.

“Z-Z-Zai?”

“Yes, Sweetling?”

“Where are we?”

Zai took his chin again, smiled broadly, and turned Tobias in his arms to show him the view. The land was black, rocky, and strange; there was a dish shaped valley apparently ringed by walls of fire which reached the near-sky up above; orange liquid-fire rolled, sloshed, and crawled across a landscape dotted with large blocky buildings. In the centre of the valley was a building, or collection of buildings unlike anything Tobias had ever seen. His vision blurred as he tried to look at it, as though the very structure itself didn’t want to be made out too clearly.

“Welcome to the Inner Circle of Hell.”

Oh dear God in heaven…

He is a demon, his internal voice reminded him. Where did you think he lived?

But… But… Tobias couldn’t even find the words to deal with what he saw in his own mind, and then another person passed across his vision, and he yelped.

“I was just starting to think you weren’t going to come back,” the creature rumbled in a voice so deep it had it’s own reverberations, “you’ve been gone since before Eostra. You still have your chit?”

“Do I ever lose them?” Zai replied flippantly, and handed some small object over to the hulking figure who stood apparently on guard at what Tobias already knew, just by existing, was a portal. “Graccas, this is Tobias.”

Don’t worry, you don’t need a chit.

I’m going to need new trousers in a minute.

Tobias did his best not to gape and stare at the beast before him. Graccas was like the evil bull the beef farmer on the other side of the hill had owned, but multiplied by a factor of nightmare that Tobias didn’t want to think about.

“A pleasure to welcome you at the West Portal, Tobias.”

“T-t-thank you.”

When Zai took his arm, Tobias went with him, unresisting, because his mind was too busy trying to fit everything he saw into a category he understood. Words he’d never known before – lava, magma, basalt, naga, tentacle – made it into his mind without his permission, and it was only when Zai stepped up off the fairly well-trodden path they had been following and began to lead him at an angle up a scree slope which hurt his feet through the worthlessly ruined shoes he wore, did Tobias realise the demon had been filling him in as they walked.

“Zai?”

“Yes?”

“Why do the stars look weird? And why are there no trees? And how come it’s so bright when-”

Zai held up a hand to stem the flow of questions.

“If you ask me everything at once, you’re going to drown us both. Pick one.”

Tobias frowned at his companion for a moment.

“Those aren’t stars, are they?”

“No.” Zai reached out and took his hand as they walked up the uneven surface. At the top of the slope, they took a sharp turn between the sheer walls of a ravine which had apparently appeared out of nowhere, and then another turn which brought them up a soft hill where a river of fire flowed in thick loops and curves. “Those are campfires. They say that the souls of dead demons live up there in the sky, waiting for the end of the world and the last great battle. They’ll come down and join us, and we’ll meet the enemy wherever they happen to appear.”

“And you believe that?”

“Weirder things are true. Why not? Demons aren’t real religious or anything, it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe.”

Why is he being so nice?

Well that’s depressing. Am I going to spend the rest of whatever life I have left doubting his intentions whenever he speaks to me?

“Tobias.”

The young man turned and looked at the demon. In Hell, it was much lighter than it had been in the darkness of the night, and for the first time, he could see Zai properly. His ash-grey fur looked soft as velvet, and it was so short around his eyes and mouth that Tobias could make out the pinker tones of his skin. The way he stood was almost human, only the swishing of his long tail giving his form an otherworldly presence. Tobias hadn’t noticed the tufted tip before, or the darker shade of Zai’s slightly curly hair from which his horns rose, sweeping quickly back over his head. He also hadn’t noticed the demon’s high, sculpted cheekbones, or the strong lines his shoulders made in his tabard.

I cannot lie to you. Zai was directing his thoughts very clearly. And I won’t try. I will hurt you, physically, often. But you are important to me. You can trust me. I need you.

“You do?”

“Yes. Would you like to see our house?”

“Ours?”

“We share with other people too.” Zai sent him a flash fast set of images of four other people of various shapes and colours. “You’ll meet them in due course. Come on, I think I promised you a shower. This way.”

Zinkara Rumah sat on the crest of the hill like a long, squat, black brick. As they approached, Tobias couldn’t help but stare. It wasn’t like any house he had ever seen or heard of, there were no windows, the roof was flat, and it was somehow constructed from a single piece of glossy black rock, and as they approached the gaping maw of the open doorway, Tobias turned to see the view of the Inner Circle laid out before them.

“We have the best view of the Palace. Kiorl says we’re the Prince’s favourite house.”

Tobias gaped as they crossed the threshold into the house.

If our house is like this, what’s it like in the palace?

The stone floor was smooth and clean underfoot, and the dark walls were hung with thick tapestries and banners. Every few feet there was an alcove carved into the wall, some only the size of his fist, others as taller than he was, each filled with light which burnt like candles. There were wide arched doorways left and right, and a passage which wove under the enormous staircase in front of them. Zai ushered him upwards with a hand on his elbow, and Tobias was almost tired by the time they finished climbing the broad steps which felt like they would never end. Tobias found himself in a long plain corridor, lit with the same flaming alcoves as the main hall, but the doors which flanked them either side were of far more normal proportions. Zai steered him to the only door which stood open, and Tobias came to such a complete stop that Zai walked into the back of him.

There’s water everywhere, and it’s warm. I’ve never been anywhere so beautiful in my life.

Zai chuckled.

“You weren’t lying about the bathroom….”

“Nope. Ah fuck, but I’ve missed plumbing.” Zai had already begun to strip out of his clothes, dumping the dirty pile unceremoniously on the floor. “Come on, come join me Tobias.”

Tobias took the hem of the old shirt in his fingers, and had it half over his head when he caught sight of himself in a mirror of such clarity that it startled him. He dropped the shirt, and didn’t notice when it simply vanished, because he was too busy staring at himself.

Apart from his reflection in the river on a still day, or in the tiny, clouded hand mirror which had belonged to his mother and was kept locked away in a drawer in his father’s room, Tobias had never seen himself. The shock was as great as seeing Zai for the first time, and Tobias wondered if his eyes had always been so dark, or his chin so square. He pressed a hand to his chest, dirty and marked with old blood, and the little smooth and painless scars left there by Zai’s claws. He moved to touch the chain Zai had captured him with and frowned. It had been a simple slip of silver chain, but no longer. The necklace rested across his collar bones, a series of patinated round silver shields, each carved to be slightly different from the next, and in the centre of the thick collar was a gemstone the exact shade of Zai’s acid yellow eyes. Tobias touched the gem that rested in his clavicle, and found that it was warm.

“Protection,” Zai explained before Tobias could ask him, “No other demon can hurt you whilst you wear it. They will all know that you are mine.”

I belong to no one! Tobias thought fiercely.

This is not something you want to fight him on, his inner voice said in a reasonable tone. Better the devil you know, right? Or would you rather take your chances with Graccas? Or any of the other demons who live here?

“You are very beautiful Tobias.”

Tobias ripped his gaze away from the mirror and stared at his companion. Zai’s arousal was obvious, and despite the draw of the waterfall which fell in a never ending torrent from a high shelf near the ceiling, Tobias stepped back from him, his limbs suddenly shaking with fear.

“Come.” With Zai’s words came a slight pressure from the Chain around his neck. “Come be warm and clean.”

Tobias removed the rest of his stolen clothes with trembling fingers, and walked around the edge of the great square bathpool set into the floor to the smooth platform where Zai stood waiting for him. The demon offered him a hand, and Tobias took it carefully. Zai was full of warmth and satisfaction and desire.

Blow Northern wind, and bring me my Sweetling. The demon was humming to himself, reciting the words in his head. I couldn’t have wished for better.

Tobias stared at Zai, and realised that, despite being able to see in the dark, it was the first time the demon had seen him in good light too. Then they stepped under the water, and all other thoughts fled from his head.

Never had anything else felt so good. Tobias had spent the last few days and nights cold, wet, and in pain. He’d spent most of his life wishing to be warmer, or cleaner, or better dressed in clothes which didn’t itch and weren’t second- or third-hand. Even in the summer, when the sun roasted anything that dared move in the fields, he’d been sticky and itchy with sweat and bits of chaff stuck in his hair or in the seams of his clothes. Now he stood beneath the stream of hot water, steam rising around him, closed his eyes and threw his head back as the grit, mud, blood, dirt, and semen washed from his skin. Zai pressed into his hand a palmful of what appeared to be glue-like sand, and Tobias instantly set to scrubbing his skin, everywhere he could reach, and watched as the water turned faintly grey and ran away into a crevice in the floor. Zai was soaping his fur, scrubbing with his knuckles at his scalp, and Tobias reached past him to the ledge which held more of the soap-sand he wanted to wash his hair with. The action brought his body into contact with Zai’s own, and he froze, petrified of what he felt.

Just wash your hair.

Please… Tobias knew his begging would do nothing to change the immediate future. Please don’t hurt me again.

Just wash your hair.

Zai helped him, because he was shaking so much, and that only made the shaking worse. Tobias hated that he was missing the most relaxing experience for his life – standing under the heated waterfall which seemed it would never end – because he was so scared of the inevitable future.

I wish he would just hurt me already and get it over with.

Are you completely twisted? Run as fast as you can and get away from him. One of those doors must lock.

Anything would be better than waiting and wondering.

You’re a sick bastard, you know that?

Yes. I just don’t want him to do that again.

Just as Tobias thought it, he felt the heat of Zai behind him, and the demon wrapped an arm round his side and pressed his hand across his chest.

“Zai… don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re not.”

Zai rumbled something indistinct which Tobias couldn’t make out, and kissed the side of his neck. It was such an unexpected motion, because Tobias had been expecting teeth and pain, that he whimpered and leant into Zai’s touch. The demon kissed him again, his soft lips moving down to the joins of his shoulder as his neck, and his other hand began to smooth down Tobias’s spine.

He hates it, and somehow that makes it all the brighter.

You’re fucked up Zai, even for a demon. No wonder the guys never want to share their prizes with you.

Tobias gasped at Zai’s private thoughts in his head, and the sensation distracted him as his body was breached by Tobias’s claw tipped fingers. He wanted to brace himself against the wall as his knees threatened to collapse, but it was behind him, and so Tobias reached up and found one of Zai’s short horns, and clung on for dear life.

Fuck, that’s hot.

The demon wasted no time with preparations, but removed his fingers, and then Tobias set his teeth in his lip to keep from begging the demon once more to cease as he felt the head of Zai’s hardness pressing at his entrance.

His shame was like a hot snake coiling up in his belly, rising in his gullet, and making him wish he could curl up into a ball and hide somewhere dark and quiet. But Zai saw that shame and used it to feed the bright spark of pleasure inside his chest as he sheathed himself within Tobias’s body in a single fast movement which made the young man scream. When Zai’s claws rent the skin and muscle over his heart, it was almost a relief to experience pain he could deal with, and Zai’s pleasure began to glow like the sun. Tobias wanted to feel that heat, that burning ecstasy, and reached for it.

Join me.

“Ahhhhh!”

Zai’s pleasure was like a fire brand, hot, sharp, bordering on excruciating, but so delicious that Tobias swallowed it down as fast as he could, taking in the flavour of the demon, watching himself getting fucked and hurt under the waterfall as though he was outside his body. And Zai was right there, the core of him exposed. Tobias reached back and pulled Zai’s mouth down to his neck, and the demon bit him hard, made him scream, and the pain fed the bright pleasure between them until they were both shaking and sweating, watching the waterfall wash away Tobias’s blood and the evidence of his orgasm. Tobias knew, because Zai couldn’t lie to him, that the demon had never experienced such a high in all the countless years he’d lived.

You smug bastard. You’re sick.

I’m special.

Freak, his mind retorted before falling silent.

Zai licked at his wounds as Tobias stood before the mirror, supporting himself on the cold white sink because his knees didn’t work very well. When the demon was finished, he wrapped each of them in towels so enormous and fluffy Tobias couldn’t imagine the size of the loom which had woven them, and led him across and along the hall to an unremarkable wooden door.

There was a room lit with glowing alcoves, and a bed covered in furs, and Tobias had not a single other thought in his head.

He slept.

*

You are sleeping in the bed of a demon. In his house. In Hell.

It’s our bed now.

You’re screwed in the head. You’re sleeping with a demon.

No. He’s not here.

Tobias didn’t need to open his eyes to confirm that he was alone in the room. Even when neither of them were speaking, he’d been able to feel Zai’s emotions, and had known the demon was there when he’d stirred in the pitch blackness. It turned out when Zai wasn’t hiding under blankets from the sun, that he was the sort of sleeper Tobias could only describe as ‘clingy’, and Tobias had spent much of the night with a well-muscled furry arm wrapped snugly around his waist.

After a while of lying down in the deep dish of furs, wondering if he could go back to sleep, Tobias’s stomach growled, and he became aware that it was no longer fully dark. He sat up.

Zai’s room – their room – was lit by the same slim alcoves as the rest of the house, and sparsely furnished. Apart from the bed, which was very comfortable for it’s unconventional shape, there was a foreboding looking wardrobe of dark wood with intricate carvings, and a similar chest next to it. A single stone ledge ran along the wall above the bed, and Tobias knelt in the furs to examine the contents.

Zai clearly wasn’t one for knick-knacks, but there was the transparent portal stone, several leather pouches in various styles, a small black-bladed knife the length of Tobias’s thumb, half a dozen metal objects Tobias assumed to be belt buckles, and a pack of playing cards next to a stack of painted oblong wooden tokens. Tobias picked up the portal stone gingerly, but as he held it, nothing happened, and Tobias was relieved.

Relieved? Are you totally insane? Why aren’t you running for the door?

And run to where, exactly? Tobias scowled at himself. I’m staying.

He hurt you again.

Tobias ran his fingers over the fresh pink scars across his chest and smiled at the memory of how Zai had looked in his head.

Maybe it was worth it.

You’re sick.

Probably. Tobias’s stomach growled again. In a house this size, there must be some kind of kitchen.

Folded neatly atop the ornate wooden chest were some clothes. A quick glance in the wardrobe demonstrated that it was full of mismatched bits of steel and leather armour, more belts than Tobias could count, various tabards and jackets, and a selection of lengths of cloth which Tobias wasn’t at all sure about. There were several pairs of tall boots, but none in a size that would fit him. Upon investigation the folded cloths turned out to be a white shirt with a wide collar, full sleeves, and lacing in a style Tobias was used to, a pair of incredibly thick and fluffy socks he pulled on immediately, and a pair of trousers made of some kind of stiff blue canvas. They had many pockets, and once Tobias had pulled them up he found himself looking down at a row of tiny metal teeth at the level of his crotch. He frowned.

A zip.

It was the memory of Zai’s voice in his head, rather than the presence of the demon, and Tobias realised the sensation was coming from the clothes themselves. He followed the wordless instruction, and fastened the jeans with a small smile.

He knew I wouldn’t know what to do. He must have spent ages standing there and thinking about it in order to send that clear a picture.

So you’re going to forgive him for raping you?

No. I don’t know. Does it matter?

His inner voice fell curiously silent, and Tobias stepped out of the room and into the long passageway. He couldn’t remember the direction to the grand staircase, and so turned left to find himself instead on a landing between two sets of stairs, one up and one down, which were narrow and unadorned. He padded downstairs and swallowed a yelp of surprise when he found himself in a kitchen which made the one at the Inn seem like a toy in comparison.

Tobias ran his fingers along a long chest-high counter of polished stone, set on one side with an assortment of stools, and turned around the end to find more cupboards and equipment than he suspected even the King of Wessex’s kitchens boasted. There was a fire pit with two spits, one set above the other, and attached to a chain pulley system, and a long low stone and clay oven which was still hot. Set against the back of the stone counter was a big metal box with several doors, each one of which when opened blasted out different amounts of warmth, and a series of black circles on the top. A quick touch of his hand made Tobias stick his fingers in his mouth as he moved along to a great white square basin, topped with a pair of metal pipes and dials. Water came rushing out at the turn of the tap, and Tobias leapt back in amazement.

This is a weird place.

Tobias found a large black kettle, filled it with water, and set it on one of the hot circles. His search for tea revealed several bins filled with dry goods, some of which he could name, and a door set flush into the wall which was taller than he was. Tobias heaved it open with both hands, and stepped into the frigid air. The larder was cold, cold enough to make him shiver and rub his arms. Set around the edge of the square room were blocks of blue ice up to his knees, shedding clouds of cold as he watched. Hanging on hooks from racks around the rooms were chunks of meat and sides of animals ready butchered and skinned – though Tobias wasn’t sure he could name many of them, and an enormous selection of vegetables on the shelves.

You’re a cook, this is a pantry you can work with.

Tobias picked up a small woven basket of what he really hoped were eggs, and took a long sharp knife in order to carve thin slices from the meat which, against his fingertips at least, was texturally closest to cured pork. Then he began sniffing vegetables and bunches of herbs, picking things which smelt good and looked fresh. Locating a frying pan took a while longer, but eventually Tobias stood at the counter, slicing something which smelt like a cross between onions and garlic, whilst a lump of yellow fat melted slowly in the pan. He hadn’t found any tea, and the kettle of hot water sat to one side, steaming forlornly.

“Smells good.”

Tobias yelped, jumped and narrowly avoided dropping the knife point down into his own foot.

Concentrating so much you never heard someone sneaking up on you? Have you learnt nothing from being attacked in the night?

Tobias looked along the counter to where a demon stood, smiling at him. He took in the black skin crawling with lava, the eyes like pools of magma, and wished he could just go and shut himself back in the cold pantry.

“I’m Shindae. Zai mentioned you were a bit skittish, but I had been hoping he was exaggerating. Unfortunately not.”

Tobias ducked quickly to scoop up the knife without taking his eyes off the demon, and grasped its handle hard, using a grip which would be useless for chopping vegetables. Shindae’s eyes flared with light briefly as he noticed the motion, and Tobias felt the bubble of his mirth just before he chuckled.

“I ain’t here to hurt you, boy. I live here too. And this is the best smell that’s come out of this kitchen in a long time.”

Tobias frowned, and spared a glance for his array of ingredients.

“But you have so much interesting food just hanging around...”

“Don’t mean a damn thing if none of us can cook, boy. We’re lucky if one of us can even be bothered to roast something without burning it. I mean, Inai eats his dinner still wriggling, so it’s just the four of us, and you now I suppose.” Shindae smiled again. “Stop starin’ kiddo, you’re gonna burn your food.”

Tobias blinked, then went back to his frying pan and began to toss his ingredients around with a wooden spoon. For a lack of anything else to do, he broke the eggs into a bowl, pleased and surprised when they appeared to be perfectly normal in texture and colour, and beat them with a fork made of bone. Shindae was seated now, arms folded on the bar, watching him with interest. Tobias fried off his thinly sliced meat, smiled at the distinct bacon-y aroma, and wondered what went on inside the mind of demons who weren’t Zai.

Shindae’s head felt warm, too warm, and full of curiosity, an eagerness to explore which Tobias had always associated with children before that moment, and humour which was just waiting for any outlet it could find. It didn’t feel much like the mind of a demon.

I suppose he’s pretty if you go for that dark-eyed and brooding sort of thing. It’s gonna be weird having a human in the house.

Tobias managed not to yelp as the vision of a snarling black feline beast snarled wordlessly in Shindae’s memory.

Kiorl, Shindae labelled unconsciously. Maybe he’ll be happier when he meets the kid. After all, he’s only a human. And he cooks, maybe we lucked out and Zai will keep him forever.

Tobias withdrew from the demon’s mind, and found Shindae chatting idly about something Tobias hadn’t caught the start of, and so didn’t understand. When the demon turned to look at him, Tobias frowned.

“Don’t call me ‘boy’, or I won’t feed you.”

Fiesty…

“Alright.” Shindae shrugged, like it was nothing.

Just as Tobias was about to flip his omelette, he felt a dark, powerful, hungover presence close enough for his mind to listen in automatically.

I’d better have been fucking dreaming that Zai recruited some skinny little human.

Then there was Kiorl, all black fur, panther fangs, and blue-streaked mohawk, glaring at him with feline distaste. Kiorl’s head was a mess of emotions, surprise and irritation being chief among them, but just as Tobias was going to examine the flinty-flavoured emotions more carefully, he found himself – abruptly and painfully – shut out of Kiorl’s head.

“Hey Ki, this is-” Shindae began.

Kiorl snarled.

“You’re a fucking empath!”