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    theoneagus
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Tree Chain - 1. Story

Here's the story. If you like to listen to music while reading, I recommend Nothing Else Matters and Fade To Black, by Metallica. That was basically what I was listening to while writing.

The Tree Chain

By Theoneagus

 

 

Silence. I disconnected the Wi-Fi of my cell phone and I turned off the computer. I listened to the echoing of a thunder and seconds later the rain started. The books for the next day were on a pile on top of my desk, and my backpack was lying next to it, the clothes piled waiting for me to take a bath the next day. I made sure the alarm clock was properly set and that the notebook and pencil I kept near the bed in order to write my dreams on awakening was in place. Turning off the light, I softly slipped toward the quiet of my subconscious….

Silence. Oppresive darkness entirely wrapped me and quiet dominated everything. After a moment my eyes succeeded in perceiving, in almost complete dark, the profile of the door which raised impassive in front of me. Little by little, the shapes of the other objects on my room came into view. The clock said in red numbers that there were two minutes until 3 am. Involuntarily I started walking towards the door and reached out to touch the cold oak wooden surface that came between me and the outside. Chillingly the door started opening, as in slow motion, and a whiny hinge sound broke the silence.

Whispers. If my room was in almost complete darkness, the hallway looked like a mix between black and a vague crimson red. I sharpened my ear and it seemed like the whispers were coming from upstairs, so I slowly walked towards the old stairs and started up. Step by step I slipped towards where the dreary sound came from and, when I reached it, I stood paralyzed staring at the closed bathroom door.

‘’Never opened myself this way… All these words I don’t just say… And nothing else matters’’

Cries, music and cries. Time seemed to have stopped while the song repeated its same lyrics again and again, the cries were almost imperceptible and seemed never ending.

Thunder echoed in the whole room and seconds later the rain started to fall down softly outside. Once I recovered from the deafening roar I realized that the cries had ceased, but now my eyes were full of tears and an unexplainable lump had formed in my throat. Something terrible had just happened, I could feel it. My vision blurred even more and a crimson color started filling everything, the bathroom door was still closed and the music was still on, but it had changed.

‘’Emptiness is filling me… To the point of agony… Growing darkness taking dawn… I was me but now he’s gone’’

At that point I felt it, it went through me and left, shattering the pale crystal of the window. It had escaped forever. Slowly, the tears started falling down and I could finally see the confirmation of what I had felt, a thick crimson pool was forming from under the door reaching for my feet.

I felt a chill that came from my toes to the depth of my chest and I saw, in the crimson liquid, a metal chain with a tree button. There was no more life in there.

 

 

I suddenly woke up heavily sweating and turned on the light. I looked around and saw that everything was in its place. The door was closed and the silence wrapped it all; the clock said in red numbers that there were fifteen minutes to 3 am. At that moment I remembered, I jumped out of bed and took the phone, desperately looking for the contact number.

I hope it’s not too late…

I found the number and started dialing.

Beep... beep… beep… The number you’re trying to reach is not available at the moment, please try again later.

Fuck… pick up the phone damnit!

Beep… beep… beep… - As I continued trying to get through to him, I started getting dressed. There were now just thirteen minutes to 3 am and every second that went by my heart pounded a bit faster.

-‘’He… hello?’’ I listened to a voice, which was seriously shaking, coming from the other side of the phone. –‘’Who’s this?’’

-‘’Nick, I’m glad you answered, please tell me you’re okay…’’ I said without stopping to answer his question.

-‘’Mi… Mike? How’d ya know?’’

-‘’Please, don’t do it…’’

-‘’Ho… how the fuck did you realize? I didn’t want anyone to know, now you’re making it all more difficult, it was going to be easy…’’ he answered almost crying.

-‘’I felt it, in a dream… your luck chain appeared in it, the tree one… now that I think of it, it seems like I’ve always known, deep down. There are things to live for…’’

-‘’God! You’re making it way more difficult! Don’t try to convince me, I’ve made my choice a long time ago…’’

-‘’FUCK NO! LISTEN TO ME! Wait for me, I’m coming over to your house’’

-‘’It’s already decided… it cannot be changed, don’t even try… Why do you care? Nobody else does.’’ He said in a whisper, insecurity was now invading his thoughts.

-‘’I do care, I’ve always cared… please wait for me.’’

Beep… beep. - He hung. Oh God no… I gotta rush.

2:52 am.

Quickly I grabbed my bike’s padlock key and I rushed out the house through my bedroom’s window, which I had been using to go in and out my house since the last year or so. I got on the bike and started pedaling towards Nick’s house.

2:56 am.

The storm wouldn’t stop, the cold rain pierced me and made me shiver all the way to Nick’s house, a way that I knew by heart.

2:58 am.

I was just one block away and the sky seemed to be a puddle of paint constantly changing, the thunderstorm was mixing the sky’s colors, grey and crimson joined to create a frightening spectacle. The street seemed as though it was a river. I had to get off the bike to go through it.

2:59 am.

There it was, just some meters away. I could see that the light of his room was on. The oak wooden front door was closed, but the doorbell was there.

Please let me be on time.

I reached for the door and rang the bell.

3:00 am.

A loud thunder echoed on the whole city. Seconds later the glass from his window shattered into little pieces.

FUCK! Hell no! Why!?

I started crying as I fell to the ground surrounded by water, nothing mattered anymore. He had left, I hadn’t reached him in time. My vision was completely blurred and a crimson color filled everything, but I just didn’t care.

3:10 am.

I was laying in a the puddle of water, I didn’t care enough to move, or leave. The window was broken, everything was crimson, pale and cold.

 

 

 

I didn’t care enough to feel that someone was staring at me from the window. I just realized his presence when a chain fell to the water, right in front of my head. A chain full of life, and love.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to give some feedback and feel free to contact me for whatever reason, I'm a friendly guy! Remember feedback is really important for us and can make the difference!
Copyright © 2015 theoneagus; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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From you dedication, I gather this is your first attempt at writing? Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
That was an incredibly vivid tale. I could see everything clearly in my mind's eye from your words alone.
As for an emotional connection? That was very vivid as well. Mike's desperation and fear is obvious in both his words and his actions.
I won't even fault you for that bit of trickery at the end letting us think Mike was too late. Presenting it that way only intensified the relief felt that Nick was alive after all.
Nicely done :2thumbs:
You lucked out having Robert, Craftingmom and Carlos as your posse. They really are one of a kind each in their own right.

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On 08/13/2015 10:00 AM, Reader1810 said:

From you dedication, I gather this is your first attempt at writing? Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

That was an incredibly vivid tale. I could see everything clearly in my mind's eye from your words alone.

As for an emotional connection? That was very vivid as well. Mike's desperation and fear is obvious in both his words and his actions.

I won't even fault you for that bit of trickery at the end letting us think Mike was too late. Presenting it that way only intensified the relief felt that Nick was alive after all.

Nicely done :2thumbs:

You lucked out having Robert, Craftingmom and Carlos as your posse. They really are one of a kind each in their own right.

Thanks!! Actually yes, it's one of my first attempts. I had been thinking about this story for quite a long time before I finally decided to sit down and write it... I really wanted to make it feel vivid and I'm happy to hear it was that way with you.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and reviewed, it really means a lot. See ya soon!

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Omg, don't DO that to me! Shit. I was sitting at the edge of my chair through the whole chapter.

 

Excellent details - as Reader said, it was like I was right there in the room with Mike, seeing what he saw and hearing what he heard.

 

The dream was very chilling. I'm so glad Nick didn't go through with it. I loved how it ended with him seeing the tree chain full of life and love.

 

Terrific job, Theone. :) Or is is Theo?

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On 08/13/2015 01:58 PM, Lisa said:

Omg, don't DO that to me! Shit. I was sitting at the edge of my chair through the whole chapter.

 

Excellent details - as Reader said, it was like I was right there in the room with Mike, seeing what he saw and hearing what he heard.

 

The dream was very chilling. I'm so glad Nick didn't go through with it. I loved how it ended with him seeing the tree chain full of life and love.

 

Terrific job, Theone. :) Or is is Theo?

Thanks Lisa!!! I actually was pretty much the same while writing it, LOL. I had the idea of transmitting exactly what he felt and how he felt it, that's why I tried to show the chain as a simbol of love in the water, which may be related to life instead of the blood in the dream which was related to death.

Thanks again for the review!

By the way, Theon, Theo or Agus, it's the same.

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Like the other reviewers, the great detail and intensity, kept me on the edge of my seat. I was so anxious for Mike to make it to Nick on time, that I had to read it again to make sure I didn't misread the ending. I was so relieved though.
Reall good story...Well done.

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On 08/13/2015 09:54 PM, Defiance19 said:

Like the other reviewers, the great detail and intensity, kept me on the edge of my seat. I was so anxious for Mike to make it to Nick on time, that I had to read it again to make sure I didn't misread the ending. I was so relieved though.

Reall good story...Well done.

It kinda was the idea to generate that with the timing and stuff, and thanks a lot for the review!!!

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On 08/14/2015 01:32 AM, skinnydragon said:

Really riveting - from the first word to the last!

Well done. :yes:

Thanks for the review!!!

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