Holding Back - 12. Chapter 12

‘They call themselves the Anti-Mutant Defence League,’ Domino is saying. ‘There’s nothing particularly special about them, they’re one of dozens of human anti-mutant supremacist groups, except these guys are starting to have a real voice. They’ve got some kind of backer, someone who’s quietly financing their activities. It’s like they’re ever present. Whenever there’s been a disaster where mutants or superheroes were even remotely involved, regardless of how, they’re always there, picketing or whatever. At the same time, there’s wide-spread violence against known mutants, perpetrated by, ironically enough, masked vigilantes. They’re well outfitted for vigilantes, though. Officially the AMDL condemns these attacks, but if you delve deep enough into the darker corners of the Internet, you can dig up some pretty disturbing stuff posted by their members. Everything from organised harassment and threats of violence and rape, to actual planned attacks on specific mutants. Pretty chilling.’

Wade switches his phone from one ear to the other and looks out his window at the darkening horizon. ‘Logan seemed worried.’

‘He is, and he has good reason to be. It’s been hushed up, but a few days ago there was an attack on a young mutant girl, barely ten years old, by so-called assailants unknown. Her powers had just manifested, there were talks with her parents about getting her to the Jean Grey school. It was . . . It was brutal. Shit they did to her . . .’ Domino’s voice sounds strained, angry. ‘When they were through they left her to be found in a parking lot. Physical injuries were moderate, but she hasn’t said a word since.’

‘They went after a kid?’ Wade asks darkly. ‘The fucking . . . Who are they? Who do I kill?’

Domino sighs. ‘We don’t know yet. Don’t do anything rash, Wade. This has to be handled right. We’re dealing with normies here, and if we go after them like we want, they’ll just use it as proof that we’re just as dangerous and unpredictable as they say we are. Just keep your eyes open. Logan’s right, someone like you should be high on their list. They won’t care if you’re a mutant or a mutate. If you really want, I’ll try and keep you posted on developments.’

‘Yeah, you better,’ Wade growls. ‘If there’s gonna be a reckoning I want a piece of that action.’

‘Look out for your buddy Spider-Man, too. I don’t think he’s on their shit list yet, but they definitely don’t like him.’

‘Oh, trust me. Those fucks wanna get at my Spidey, they have to go through me. No one hurts him and lives.’

He can hear the wry smile in her voice. ‘Your Spidey, huh? Well, good luck with it. I gotta go. Take care of yourself, Wade.’

‘Yeah. You too.’ Wade hangs up.

Well, that was an illuminating conversation.

Peter won’t like it if we kill these guys, though.

‘Well, I’d rather have Peter mad at me than dead.’

Though neither would be preferable, right?

Definitely. We should go for neither dead nor angry Peter. We should go for fucking Peter instead.

Or being fucked by Peter.

Wade shakes his head. ‘Pete ain’t that kind of boy. He runs this show. We’re not pushing any of that until he’s ready for it.’

That’s not very like us.

Sure it is. Kink list entry #43: Consent is sexy.

Wade nods in agreement. ‘Word.’

* * *

‘Spidey!’ Wade drops to his knees next to Peter, who sits up with a groan, rubbing the back of his head. ‘You okay, baby boy?’

‘Hey, I’m king of okay,’ says Peter. He glances at the bank robber who’s bleeding on the ground, clutching at a stab wound in his side and moaning in pain. ‘Did you really have to stab him?’

‘Oh, bitch bitch bitch!’ Wade waves a hand dismissively. ‘You want some cheese with that whine? He’ll be fine, I avoided any vital organs.’

Peter nods once. ‘Okay.’ Then he lets Wade help him to his feet.

The gesture of trust, his acceptance that Wade didn’t hurt the guy too badly, is touching. It makes Wade want to grab him and kiss him, but he knows this isn’t the time or the place.

He trusts us! Our Petey trusts us!

I know. I worry for his sanity.

Peter approaches the bank robber. He pulls the man’s hand away from the stab wound and shoots a wad of webbing at it, effectively stopping the bleeding, at least temporarily.

‘Get off me, you mutie asshole!’ the guy growls through his balaclava.

‘Not actually a mutant,’ says Peter calmly. ‘Though if you’d rather bleed out, be my guest.’

The bank robber shuts up, and Peter webs him up with his partner, who’s lying unconscious a few feet away. Then he approaches the wounded security guard. Thankfully, the bank robbers were shitty shots. The gunshot wound is in his leg, and was enough to knock him off his feet and, unfortunately, drop his gun, but he should be just fine in time. Peter helps him get to a chair so he can sit more comfortably, and seals up his wound with webbing too.

‘Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man First Aid Service,’ he quips. ‘Cops on their way?’

The guard nods, wincing slightly as he tries to move his leg.

‘Hope they’re bringing an ambulance. Deadpool, we should split.’

Wade nods, wiping the blood off his blade. ‘Right you are, princess.’

They leave the bank, Peter letting Wade on his back and web-swinging them a few blocks away from the scene, coming to land on a roof top. Wade climbs off Peter’s back and puts his arms around his waist, pulling his back to his chest.

‘You’re so hot when you’re saving lives,’ he murmurs, and Peter chuckles, placing his hands on top of Wade’s and squeezing.

‘Only then, huh?’

‘Nah, you’re hot all the time,’ Wade concedes. ‘Man, you make me wanna—’ He cuts himself off.

Put his dick in our mouth?

Lick his sweet asshole?

Fuck him until he screams?

‘I make you wanna what?’ Peter asks, turning around to face him. He pulls his mask up to his nose and presses his lips to Wade’s still covered neck. ‘What is it you want?’

Wade grunts, unsure of how to respond, unsure about what it is he actually wants. If he’s honest, there are a million things he wants from this gorgeous boy who’s now so impossibly close to him. They range from the innocent to the obscene, from the vanilla to the deeply kinky.

‘Wade?’ Peter’s soft voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

Wade clears his throat. ‘Hell, Pete . . . I got what I want right here.’

Peter smiles and, pushing Wade’s mask up to liberate his mouth, captures his lips. The kiss goes on for some time, and Wade can feel his body responding to it, to Peter’s velvety tongue filling his mouth. He wants Peter to fill him in other ways, too. It’s not something he’s used to wanting. The thought makes him moan, and he holds Peter tighter to him.

When they come up for air, Peter is clearly turned on too. He’s panting, his chest rising and falling against Wade’s, and what Wade can see of his face is flushed.

‘So,’ Peter says breathlessly, ‘wanna come to my place again?’

Yes! We totally do!

Say yes. Say yes, damnit!

‘You sure?’ Wade can’t help but ask, because this, all of it, still seems too good to be true, and now that they’re this close he’s having a hard time holding onto the idea of not pushing this, of just letting things happen at Peter’s pace, because, fuck, he wants him.

Peter just laughs. ‘No, I just asked to be polite. Would I ask you over if I didn’t want you over, Wade?’

Wade smiles sheepishly. ‘I dunno, would you?’

‘No. No, I would not. Now, do you wanna come over or not? There’s an all night Thai take-out down the block from me, if you’re hungry.’

‘Sure,’ Wade says at last. ‘I’d love to come over.’

* * *

Peter has beer in his fridge tonight, which is pretty awesome in and of itself, and the Thai food is tasty (Wade could easily eat Mexican every night, but he can understand that Peter might want to change it up), but the best part is how he climbs in Wade’s lap when they’ve eaten and proceeds to thoroughly ravish his mouth. He tastes of ginger, coconut and galangal, and he’s warm and soft and beautiful. The movement of his hips makes Wade desperately hard, and his perfect tongue makes Wade want to die, in a good way.

When Peter tugs at the hem of the top of Wade’s suit, however, Wade suddenly panics. He grabs Peter’s hands in his to stop him.

What are we doing?

We’re scared to show him more of our body, duh. We’re ugly, remember?

Peter stills and cocks his head to one side, studying Wade’s eyes (he did manage to get him to take the mask off again, in spite of Wade’s misgivings). ‘You okay?’ he asks softly.

‘Yeah, fine! Totally fine!’ Wade lies.

Peter smiles. ‘Wade . . .’

Don’t tell him what we’re thinking. It’ll make it come true.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Wade sighs. If that’s the case, he’d rather get it over with. ‘I guess I don’t get it, Pete,’ he murmurs. He opens his eyes again, meeting the hazel of Peter’s. ‘I don’t get how you can . . . Like me? I mean, any second now you’re probably gonna come to your senses, realise who it is you’ve been making out with . . . Or you’re gonna . . .’

See us. Realise how ugly we are.

Peter sighs and rests his forehead against Wade’s. He gently strokes the side of his neck, running his thumb along the black collar of his suit. ‘How can I convince you?’

‘Convince me?’

‘That I like you. That I trust you. That you can’t scare me away.’

Trust. He said trust.

Peter takes a deep breath and straightens his back, looking down at Wade’s face. ‘My name is Peter Benjamin Parker. I’m twenty-one and I study science at Empire State, majoring in biochemistry. I’ll be graduating in the spring. Planning on a Masters in biophysics. I was raised by my aunt and uncle, May and Ben. Uncle Ben passed away when I was in high school. I like photography. Sometimes I earn extra cash selling pictures of Spider-Man to newspapers, but I haven’t got as much time for it as I used to. I’m a geek. I ramble when I’m nervous. And there’s this guy I like right now . . . He doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut either, and his morals are sometimes, shall we say, questionable, but underneath it all he has a good heart and I think he’s really hot. His name is Wade Wilson.’

He falls silent, and for once in his life, Wade can’t think of a single thing to say. Neither can his boxes. The silence is deafening. And then, because he doesn’t know what else to do and it’s what he wants, he grabs the back of Peter’s head and pulls him down to kiss him, hard. There’s nothing he can say, no way that he can express with words how much Peter’s trust means to him, so he tries to tell him with the kiss instead, with the hand on the small of his back and the one in his hair. Tries to tell him how important this is, how impossible it feels.

Peter kisses him back, and when next he moves his hands to the hem of Wade’s top, Wade doesn’t stop him, lets his warm hands touch the bare skin of his torso, scarred though it is.

They end up in Peter’s bed, kissing, holding each other, getting each other off with hands and mouths. And though Wade has done all of this countless times before, everything feels somehow new, and wonderful, and a little bit scary.

The scariest part is afterwards, when they’re both sated and sleepy and happy, and Peter snuggles up close, turns off the light and whispers, ‘Good night, Wade.’

Wade falls asleep with his lips in Peter’s hair, and for once the voices in his head are silent.