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Barbara Fleurnois

   (1 review)
Genres: General Fiction
Sub-genres: Drama

A follow up story to the Winter anthology.

Copyright © 2012 Foster; All Rights Reserved.

Story Recommendations

  • Action Packed 0
  • Addictive/Pacing 0
  • Characters 0
  • Chills 0
  • Cliffhanger 0
  • Compelling 0
  • Feel-Good 0
  • Humor 0
  • Smoldering 0
  • Tearjerker 0
  • Unique 0
  • World Building 0
  • Like 1
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Table of Contents
  • 1. Chapter 1
    • 2,538 Words
    • 1,177 Views
    • 8 Comments

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Carlos Hazday

Carlos Hazday 115,594

· Edited by Carlos Hazday

   0 of 1 member found this review helpful 0 / 1 member

Interesting premise but the writing quality could be improved. I had to force myself not to stop reading during the two opening paragraphs. The length reminded me of run-on sentences.

 

I'm unsure if back when this was submitted Anthology stories went through a proofreading. It could use help with spelling, bloat words and misused homonyms. The head of the school is a principal, not a principle. When the government forces one to sell property eminent domain is the tool, not imminent domain. We're is the past tense of a verb, where is a location. Past and pass are not the same thing.

 

Some may be able to overlook these deficiencies but I find them too distracting. Overall, not one of my favorite stories.

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