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  1. Ronyx

    Chapter 8

    I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I couldn’t close my eyes, because when I did, I could imagine myself crashing into the wall ahead. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Worse still, I couldn’t understand how to control what was surely to happen. After what happened earlier in Tracy’s bedroom, there was no way I could avoid him. He had kissed me! And I enjoyed it! I wasn’t sure where our friendship would go. He’s the one who said we could be like kissing cousins. He had opened a door, and there was no way I was going to slam it shut on him. But after the confrontation with Jimmy, I knew that there was no way I could be friends with Tracy and Jimmy. There was too strong a divide. Jimmy sided with my mother. Tracy was gay, and that was a bridge that he couldn’t cross. And if he couldn’t cross that bridge for Tracy, then he surely wouldn’t cross it for me. My bigger problem, however, was my mother. Would she cross the bridge for me if I ever came out? My father confused me. He seemed to like Tracy. Not once had he said anything derogatory about him other than joking to Tracy’s dad that he should have insisted that he take up a man’s sport like baseball rather than ballet. Mr. Crawford was at first insulted, but they seemed to forget about it over a few beers. I was also confused why he had put his hand on my shoulder when I came downstairs. I was sure my mother had discussed with him about the argument we had earlier. Yet, he said nothing during dinner. I got up from the bed and started pacing around my room. I still had an assignment for literature to complete, but I was still too upset. I walked over to the window, pulled back the curtain and looked over at Tracy’s window. He was standing at the window looking at me. I then remembered his comment as I was leaving his bedroom when he told me to sit on the porch and he would dance for me. I looked at the clock. It was 10:18. I didn’t know how I could sneak outside and sit on the porch without my parents noticing. Suddenly, my cellphone buzzed. I picked up the phone and noticed a text from Tracy. Can you watch me dance? I texted back: I don’t think so He texted: Turn out your bedroom light I walked over, locked my bedroom door and turned out the light. I walked over to the window, turned the flashlight on my phone and held it up to the window. Tracy then pulled the blinds up on his window. I watched as he stepped away from the window and moved to the far side of the room. From there, he wouldn’t be seen from the sidewalk. My phone buzzed again: You watching My hands shook as I texted back: yeah I couldn’t believe it when he pulled off the sweats he was wearing and stood nude in the middle of the room. I watched in amazement as he danced naked. I pulled my shorts down and began to stroke my hard dick. His dance wasn’t erotic but watching him dance naked excited me; I guess because I knew he was doing because he knew I was watching. He glided across the room in such a graceful manner, yet it aroused me. He then stopped, grabbed his dick and began to seductively stroke it. I watched excitedly until I felt my balls tighten and I erupted on the floor. It seemed that he knew because he threw back his head and I watched breathless as he shot out a huge load onto the floor. He disappeared for a few minutes. I reached down, took my underwear off the floor and cleaned the cum from my dick and the floor. When I looked out the window, Tracy was dressed and holding his phone in his hands. My cell buzzed: you like my dance? Hell yeah! I replied. Great! He responded with a smiley face. See you tomorrow. He then waved and closed the blinds. I put on my shorts and headed across the hall way to take a shower. My mother wasn’t in the kitchen when I went down for breakfast. My father was sitting at the table talking to Karen about a science project she was working on. He looked up at me when I entered. “Do you remember, Jack,” he laughed, “that science project you did in the fifth grade?” “Yeah,” I responded as my face reddened. I prepared a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk before sitting down. I smiled as my father related to my sister how I had almost burned down the garage when I attempted to make a balloon fly with baking soda and vinegar. “I was welding something when it flew over my head and exploded,” he laughed. “Scared the shit out of me.” Karen started giggling and told my father he had said a dirty word. He apologized and told her not to use that word like he did. He looked at me and stated, “It was funny, though.” I nodded my head and smiled. I was going to ask where mother was when she appeared at the door. She was dressed for work. Without saying anything, she walked over to the coffee pot and poured coffee into a thermos cup. She then left the kitchen without saying goodbye. My father looked over and frowned. “Give her time, Jack,” he said as he stood, patted me on my shoulder and left the room. I could hear him and my mother speaking angrily at the front door. They were talking low, so I couldn’t make out what they were saying. After eating, I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and headed out the backdoor. There was no use in waiting on Jimmy because I knew he wouldn’t show. I was already becoming used to the fact that our friendship was probably over. I was also certain that Brian and Tyler would no longer be friends. They were a lot like me, they did whatever Jimmy told them to do. As I headed down the sidewalk, Tracy ran across the street. He was smiling broadly was he approached. He grinned and asked, “Like my show last night?” My face turned a bright red. I still couldn’t believe he had danced naked for me, and worse yet, I had cum watching him do it. “Well, did you?” he asked again. I smiled and replied, “What do you think?” “Did you cum?” he giggled. “What!” “Did you cum?” he giggled louder. “I did.” “I saw,” I laughed. “So, did you?” My face turned fifty shades of red as I confessed, “Yeah.” We didn’t say anything more about it. He talked about some of his classes and a few of the boys he found cute. “Do you know anything about Brian Michaels?” “What?” I asked excitedly. “Brian?” “Yeah,” smiled Tracy. “He sits beside me in Spanish. I think he’s cute.” “No!” I warned him. “I’ve known Brian all my life. He’s straight as an arrow.” Tracy frowned. “Damn. All the cute ones are always straight,” he replied. “Well, anyway, he’s nice eye candy to look at.” “Just be careful,” I warned him. “In fact, be careful around him and Jimmy.” “Okay,” he assured me. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.” We talked on the way to school like we had known each other for years. I guess once you feel on a guy and kiss him, you let down your barriers. It was fine as long as we were alone. I was worried what would happen once we entered school. He followed me to my locker as I took out the books I would need for my morning classes. When I closed my locker, he turned and headed down the hall. I wasn’t sure what I should do. I know he expected me to walk with him, but I was afraid that other students might see me. A wave of shame overpowered me. I’m gay, but I’m afraid of being seen with another gay boy. I had to make a decision, and I had to make it fast. Tracy turned, smiled and seemed to wait on me. I think he knew what was going on in my mind. We stood and stared at each other for several seconds. A sad look appeared on his face before he turned and started to walk slowly away. I hollered out, “Hold up, Tracy!” He turned and smiled broadly when I ran up beside him as we headed toward his locker. After retrieving his books, we headed to the cafeteria. The room was already bustling with the noise of students arriving to school. When we entered, I immediately glanced over at the table where Jimmy and the rest of the gang sat. Tyler nudged Jimmy in the side and pointed at us. Jimmy turned and scowled as we crossed the cafeteria. I glanced out of the side of my eye to see them animatedly talking about us. Tracy got a box of cereal and a container of milk. “You getting anything?” he asked when he saw me standing off to the side. “No,” I replied. I was afraid that if I ate anything, I might throw it up. I was afraid that deciding to walk with Tracy might have been a mistake when Jimmy, Tyler and Brian saw me with him. I could imagine that they were making jokes about me and Tracy being boyfriends. To make matters worse, Tracy saw Jeff sitting alone at a table and headed over to sit with him. He looked over his shoulder to see what I would do. Reluctantly, I followed him to the table and sat down beside Tracy. Jeff gave me a timid wave and said, “Hi, Jack.” “Hi, Jeff,” I responded nervously. He was making me uncomfortable because he appeared extremely nervous. You would have thought that the Pope had sat across from him as he stared across the table at me. Tracy started giggling and said, “You two need to get a room.” Jeff gave Tracy a puzzled look before looking back at me. I was angry at Tracy because he had promised me he wouldn’t say anything to Jeff about me being gay. However, his comment insinuated that I was. Why else would he have said it? As if he read my mind, he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it. “Sorry, Jack,” he apologized. Jeff looked aghast as he stared at Tracy’s hand on my leg. He appeared confused as he asked, “What is going on, Guys?” Tracy quickly removed his hand from my leg. “Nothing,” replied Tracy. “Nothing’s going on.” Jeff raised and eyebrow as he continued to stare at us. He started smiling and said, “If you say so.” I sat speechless. I could tell by the looks that Tracy and Jeff were exchanging that they were somehow communicating to each other that I was gay. Besides, if I wasn’t, why would I be sitting with them? I quickly scanned the tables around me to see if anyone was saying anything about us. Tracy noticed my actions and started giggling. “Relax, Jack,” he said. “Just tell people I’m new to school, and you’re showing me around.” Jeff had an amazed look on his face as he continued to stare at me. “Jack?” he asked, “Are you gay?” I quickly looked over at Tracy. I knew I had made a mistake when I sat down with them. There was no way I could confess to Jeff that I was gay. Not after all the years of avoiding him. Tracy spoke up for me. “Jeff,” he said. “Jack’s sitting with us because I asked him to. It doesn’t mean anything.” “Okay,” responded Jeff skeptically. “If you say so.” Again, he made me uncomfortable as he continued to stare into my eyes. I could tell he knew my secret. But for now, he was accepting that I didn’t want to talk about it. Tracy and Jeff began to talk about how Tracy was doing in his classes. Tracy told him he found them rather easy because he had learned most of the material last year. He laughed, “And I thought North Dakota was backwards. Most of the stuff I learned last year.” Jeff laughed and replied, “Well, we aren’t exactly the brightest place in the world.” For some reason, I glanced over at Jimmy, Brian and Tyler. They were still staring over at us. Just then, the bell rang. I threw my bookbag over my shoulder. “See you later, Guys,” I said to Tracy and Jeff. “See you second period, Jack,” responded Tracy. As I exited the door and headed down the hall, someone bumped into me. I almost fell, and I had to quickly regain my balance. Someone muttered, “Fag.” I looked up and saw Jimmy quickly walking away. As I approached, Tracy was waiting for me outside our second period class. “Hey,” he smiled as I neared him. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching us. “Relax,” he whispered as I walked by. “I’m not going to rape you out here in the hall.” He giggled and added, “Not that I wouldn’t like to.” I took a seat, and he sat down beside me. Jeff hurried into the room and sat down in front of Tracy. I noticed that Tyler had turned to watch us. I felt the whole thing was getting out of hand. I had Tracy on one side of me pulling me one way. On the other side, Jimmy, Tyler, Brian and all my other friends were tugging on me the other. I was becoming increasingly worried that I would be pulled in the direction of Tracy. Even though I had known the other guys since I was a boy, I felt that I shared more with Tracy. I had gone past a point of no return, and I was scared to death. I would feel like a hypocrite if I turned my back on Tracy. We had shared so many secrets together in just the few days we had known each other. I also felt that Jeff was beginning to understand more than I cared for him to know. It would only be a short time until he knew my secret. He almost insinuated he understood at breakfast. And after befriending Tracy, I didn’t think it would be possible to go back to Jimmy and the others and try to live a lie. Jimmy’s anger toward me seemed to be growing stronger. I doubt he would let me back into our tight little group. Tyler, Brian and the others followed Jimmy like loyal flying monkeys. All he had to do was give the word that I was no longer a friend, and they would do it. Tracy looked over at me and whispered, “Are you okay, Jack? You look like you’re a million miles away?” I attempted a smile and replied, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He gave me a concerned look as if he didn’t believe me. Again, I ditched lunch and went to the library. Normally, a student needs a pass to enter, but the librarian relaxes the rules during the lunch hour. She knows that for many of us, it is the only time of the day we get a chance to work on a research paper or classroom project. I hid in the back at a study carrel. I was sure that no one could see me. I took out my world history book and attempted to work on a homework assignment, but I couldn’t concentrate. I looked out across the library and studied the students sitting nearby. I wondered how many of them would feel if they knew I was gay. Times are changing, and more people are beginning to accept gays and lesbians. However, I think that is because they don’t personally know any. At least not at our school. I’ve read articles about how students are accepted at other schools, but I figure those are urban schools with larger numbers of gay students. But here is different. Everyone knows everyone. We’ve been attending school since kindergarten. I may not be a popular student, but still everyone knows Jack Woolery. They know my mom and dad. My father owns a landscaping business in town, and my mother is the secretary for one of the insurance agents in town. She knows everything from who recently wrecked their car to who had a new roof replaced. Everyone also knows my sister, Stephanie. She graduated a couple of years ago as the salutatorian of her class. Word travels quickly here. Tracy’s family just moved here last week, but it seems like everyone was already aware of them. Mr. Richmond, before he died, had been mayor for several years. Tracy’s family was referred to as the people who moved into the Mayor’s house. So, if word gets out that I am gay, then they whole town will know. It will be like last year when Mr. Singleton was caught having an affair with Mrs. Pruitt, the second-grade teacher. She left in the middle of the school year, and Mrs. Singleton filed for divorce. It was the talk of the town for months. Mrs. Singleton still can’t go into a store without someone telling her how sorry they are for her misfortune. I wonder if that is how it will be for my mother if people discover I am gay. Will they tell her how sorry they feel for her misfortune? Do other mothers try to console Jeff’s mother when she goes into a store. I only heard my mother mention her once, and that was a few years ago. She was telling my father about running into her at a parent teacher conference. At the time, I didn’t think anything about it when she referred to her as a ‘poor thing.’ Now, I think I understand. Will my father have to explain to other men why he has a gay son? Dad is very masculine. He works outside all day, and he’s in very good shape. There have been many times I think he is ashamed of me because I don’t participate in school sports. He attends many of the school’s sporting events, and I am forced to go along with him. When I was in the eighth grade, he was even the assistant coach for the junior baseball team. For weeks he tried to encourage me to play, but I refused. It’s not like I’m some kind of wimp or something. I’m just not interested like Jimmy and the others are. I enjoy playing basketball at the park with them, but I’m not very good, and I’m the last guy to be picked. Jimmy usually picks me because he feels sorry for me. Then I spend most of the time sitting on the sideline watching the other guys. As I looked around the library, I noticed Jeff walk in. He walked up to the librarian and handed her a pass. After walking away, he looked around. Suddenly, he noticed me. I tried to hide behind the carrel, but it was too late. I heard him softly say, “Hi, Jack. What are you doing back here?” I looked up at him and started to reply. Suddenly, I noticed his beautiful blue eyes, and it was as if my body froze. Words couldn’t form, and I sat gazing up at him. He waved his hand in front of my face ands started giggling. “Jack,” he asked, “Are you okay?” I blinked my eyes and replied, “Yeah, sure.” I grabbed my history book and pretended that I had been reading. “I’m just trying to get caught up on an assignment I forgot to do.” He timidly asked, “Can I sit down?” “Um,” I nervously replied as I quickly glanced around me, “Sure.” “I can go someplace else to sit,” he offered when he saw how nervous I was. “No,” I insisted, “Sit down.” I even pulled the seat out beside me. He pulled his bookbag off his shoulder, tossed it on the carrel and sat down. He grumbled, “I have a stupid report in science I’m working on. I’m doing a paper on the effects of carbon dioxide on our environment.” I giggled and replied, “Sounds like fun.” He smiled and said, “Yeah. Whoopee.” When he did, his eyes seemed to twinkle. Again, I sat and stared into his face. He started to blush and looked away. He dug into his bookbag and pulled out a paper. As he did, he said softly, “If you don’t quit staring at me like that, I’m going to jump you.” “What!” I responded nervously. He giggled and assured me, “It’s okay. I like it.” He looked at me as his cheeks reddened. I was so surprised by his comments, I pulled away from the table and started to stand. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Please, Jack,” he pleaded. “Don’t run away again.” I reluctantly sat back down. “Look, Jeff,” I said nervously. “I’m sorry.” My face began to redden as he stared at me. “It’s okay, Jack,” he responded softly. “I just want to be friends. I’m not asking for anything more.” I hated myself as soon as the words slipped my lips. “But you don’t understand.” He seemed hurt at first, but he smiled slightly. “I do understand, Jack. I know what the rule is around here.” I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What rule?” A saddened expression appeared on his face. “You guys aren’t supposed to talk to me because I’m gay. I’ve known that for several years.” I tried to act innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I was too embarrassed to agree with him. “Yes, you do, Jack,” he replied as he gathered his papers and stuffed them back into his bookbag. As he stood he looked down and warned, “And they’re going to treat you the same way.” My heart was pounding as I watched him walk down the aisle and exit the library.
  2. Ronyx

    Chapter 7

    I couldn’t believe I had just come out to Tracy. And his kiss on my cheek surprised me. “Oh my God!” I cried. “Please don’t tell anyone what I just said!” My heart started racing for fear he would out me. He giggled, grabbed my hand again and promised, “It will be our little secret.” He smiled and added, “Well, I may tell Jeff.” “No!” I shrieked. “You can’t tell Jeff!” “Why?” “You just can’t,” I insisted. It was bad enough that Tracy knew my secret. I certainly didn’t want the one boy at school who everyone avoided to know. He just might use the information to get back at me for all the years of avoiding him. “But Jeff likes you,” said Tracy. “What!” Tracy laughed and replied, “He’s had a big crush on you for years, Jack.” “Me! Why me?” “He thinks you’re really cute.” “Me?” Tracy leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek. “Yes, you,” he laughed. “God, you’re adorable when you get embarrassed.” I rose from the bed and started pacing around the room. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I had just come out to Tracy, and now he was telling me another boy liked me. Tracy rose, approached me from behind and put his arms around me. “Relax, Jack,” he said soothingly. “It’s not the end of the world, you know.” I pulled away. “I don’t know,” I replied. “I can’t handle this.” “Sure you can,” he said as he approached me. “Just accept the fact you’re gay.” I sat down on the bed. Tracy walked over and sat beside me, resting his leg against mine. “It’s easy for you, Tracy,” I said. “You got nothing to lose.” Tracy reached down and grabbed my hand. “I know what you’re going through, Jack. I’ve been there.” “I’ll lose all my friends,” I insisted. “Been there,” he said. “Why do you think we moved here?” “Why?” He stood, walked across the room and looked out the window for a minute. He then turned and faced me. “We had to leave North Dakota,” he said sadly. “I had some problems there.” “What kind of problems?” He walked over and sat on the bed beside me. “I was a lot like Jeff in school,” he said. “No one would talk to me because I was gay.” I noticed tears begin to appear in his green eyes. “I was okay with it, I didn’t let it bother me. I was doing okay, making good grades and going to dance practice.” I nodded and asked, “What happened?” He sighed deeply and continued, “The drama department was auditioning for roles in the Music Man. I auditioned and got the part of Professor Hill.” “Was that a big role?” I asked. I had never heard of the play. He laughed and replied, “It was the lead role. I was really excited.” “Wow!” I responded. “You must have been good.” He laughed and said, “I was, but then again, there really wasn’t any competition. Most guys don’t like to go out for drama. It was just me and another boy, Justin Westlake. He got the role of the mayor.” “I still don’t understand what happened,” I said. “It sounds like you were doing something you really wanted to do.” He rose from the bed, walked over and looked out the window again. He then turned and continued, “Everything was going well for a while. Everyone was rehearsing their roles and we were getting ready for opening night.” “What happened?” “Justin and I shared a dressing room,” he said. “You have to understand, Justin was really cute. We were getting along so well, and I was developing a really big crush on him.” I nodded my head and said, “Okay.” I could tell by the look on his strained look on his face that he was going to tell me something bad. “We were getting ready for a dress rehearsal, and he said he needed help tying his tie. He had never tied one before. So, I was helping him, and he looked into my eyes. I thought he wanted me to kiss him. So, I did.” “What happened?” “He backed away and hit me,” replied Tracy as tears started to fall down his face. “He then ran from the room and told the drama teacher, Mrs. Fells, what I had done. She came into the dressing room and told me I had to leave.” Tracy broke down and started crying. I didn’t know what to do. I hesitated before I put my arm around his back and pulled him toward me. He rested his head against my shoulder and cried softly for several minutes. Finally, he sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Sorry, Jack,” he apologized. “No,” I said. “It’s okay, Really.” I attempted a smile and asked, “You want to finish telling me what happened?” He nodded and continued, “A meeting was held in the principal’s office the next day. My parents were with me, and Justin’s parents were with him. Mrs. Fells was also there. Justin told everyone what I had done. He made it sound like I had raped him.” Again, tears welled up in his eyes. “All I did was lean in and give him a little kiss.” “Bastard,” I muttered angrily. “Anyway,” said Tracy, “Long story short, I got suspended for ten days. Justin got my role in the play. I think that was what he was trying to do. I think he baited me into kissing him just so he could play the part of Professor Hill.” “Bastard,” I muttered again. “Yeah, bastard,” responded Tracy. I asked, “Is that why you moved here?” “Mainly,” he said. “Dad was going to ask for a transfer anyway. It just speeded up the process.” “What happened when you went back to school?” “By then, Justin had told everyone what I did to him,” he replied. “But since I was already out at school, it didn’t really surprise anyone. I just had to endure a lot more bullshit than I normally did. I was really happy when Dad said we were moving.” He rose from the bed. “I’m going downstairs to get us something to drink and a snack.” He asked, “You want anything special?” I shook my head, and he disappeared from the room. I walked over and looked out the window. I noticed Jimmy and Tyler at the door of my house talking to my mother. They turned and walked away. When they stepped off the porch, Jimmy looked up at Tracy’s window. I quickly pulled back the curtain, but I wasn’t sure if he had seen me. When I peeked again, they were gone. When Tracy entered his bedroom, I had returned to the bed. He was carrying two sodas tucked under his arms and a big bag of potato chips and a bag of pretzels in his hands. He threw the bags on the bed and handed me a Mountain Dew. “It’s all we had,” he apologized. “I hope you like it.” I replied, “That’s fine,” as I pulled the tab on the soda and took a sip. He sat down beside me and pressed his leg to mine. He opened the bag of potato chips and offered me some. I took a handful and started nibbling on them. He looked over, smiled and said, “Now tell me your story. I told you mine.” “Not much to tell,” I replied. “Teen gay boy. Still in the closet. End of story.” He laughed and said, “There has to be more than that. What do you do for fun?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I dunno. I guess I hang out with Jimmy and the other guys. We like playing video games.” He asked, “Don’t you play any sports at school?” I laughed, looked down at my body and replied, “Does it look like I play sports?” He wiggled his eyebrows, giggled and said, “You look pretty good to me.” My face turned about fifty shades of red. “I’m not all that,” I replied sadly. It surprised me when he again reached for my hand and held it. “Jack,” he said softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” I don’t know why, but I felt tears appear in my eyes. “Not all that much good,” I muttered. I jumped back when he leaned in to kiss me. “What are you doing?” I shrieked. He jumped from the bed, looked down and said nervously, “God, Jack! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that.” I giggled and replied, “Now I see why you got in trouble at your old school.” When I saw how nervous he was, I stated, “It’s okay. Really. You just surprised me is all.” He reluctantly sat back down beside me. He appeared nervous, but then he started grinning. “So, if I don’t surprise you, I can kiss you?” My eyes widened in surprise. I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I had never considered kissing a boy before. Tracy giggled again when he noticed me look at his lips. I stammered when I said, “I’ve never done anything like that before.” He grinned wider and replied, “You already put your hand in my pants and felt my dick. What’s a little kiss?” “I don’t know,” I replied nervously. “We’re going too fast, and I’m….” Suddenly, he leaned in and kissed me. When I didn’t object, Tracy put his hand on my waist and kissed me more forcefully. I closed my eyes and tried to kiss him back. Since I had never kissed anyone on the lips before, I was afraid that he wouldn’t like it. I jerked away when he attempted to stick his tongue in my mouth. I wiped my mouth and asked, “What are you doing?” “It’s called French kissing,” he informed me. “It’s fun.” He grabbed me by my waist again and pulled me toward him. Hesitantly, I let him kiss me again. I enjoyed it the first time. We started kissing, and I didn’t jump away when he pressed his tongue to my lips. I opened them, and he gently started running his tongue against mine. By now, my dick was throbbing. My emotions were in overdrive from the sensations I was feeling. I jumped when Tracy’s hand dropped to my thin shorts, and he gripped my hard dick. “Mmmm,” I moaned as he sucked on my tongue and stroked on my erection. Suddenly, he pressed his hand against my waistband and slid his hand into my underwear until he could put his hand around my dick. “Oh, God,” I moaned again. He stopped kissing me and looked down at my shorts. He pulled my shorts away from my waist, exposing my hard dick. Suddenly, he bent over and sucked half of it into his mouth. “No!” I shouted as I grabbed his head and pulled it away. He looked at me and asked, “Why? What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” I said as I stood and adjusted myself. “We’re moving too fast. I’m not ready for this yet.” He rose from the bed and approached. He put his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. “Okay, Jack,” he whispered softly. “I understand. I’m sorry.” He looked into my eyes and asked, “Can I at least kiss you again?” “Why?” “I like you,” he said softly as he pressed his lips to mine. Suddenly, Tracy’s mother hollered up the stairs. “Tracy! Is Jack still with you?” We jumped apart and sat on the bed away from each other. Seconds later, she knocked on the door and opened it. “Jack, your mother called,” she informed me. “She wants you to come home.” “Thanks, Mrs. Craft,” I responded. She closed the door and left. Tracy scooted next to me and held my hand. “Jack,” he said. “What just happened stays in this room. Okay? I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” “Thanks,” I smiled. “You know I can’t come out right now.” “I know,” he replied. “I just want us to be friends.” He grinned and added, “We’ll be like kissing cousins. Okay?” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “Okay,” I grinned as I stood and headed for the door. “Oh, one other thing.” I stopped and turned toward him. “Sit on your porch tonight. I want to dance for you.” I smiled and replied, “Okay.” I hurried down the stairs and headed for home. “Hi, Jack,” my mother frowned as I entered the kitchen. “You’re late for dinner. I had to call for you to come home.” “Sorry, Mom,” I replied as I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. As she took a salad out of the refrigerator, she turned and asked, “What were you doing over there anyway? Jimmy stopped by, and I had to tell him I didn’t know where you were.” Innocently, I responded, “We were in his bedroom talking.” “I see,” she replied disapprovingly. “I’m glad his mother was home.” Suddenly, I realized where the conversation was heading. She didn’t want me to be alone with Tracy. She probably thought he would try and seduce me if we are left alone. I asked defiantly, “What do you mean by that?” “I don’t know,” she responded as she headed to the dining room and placed the salad on the table. When she entered she said, “I just don’t think it looks right if you two are left alone?” “What!” I replied excitedly. “What do you mean, it doesn’t look right? What are you trying to say?” Her face reddened as she said, “I just don’t think you should be alone with Tracy.” “Why?” I asked rather angrily. “Well, you know,” my mother stammered. “Him being gay and all.” “What!” I shouted. “Are you serious? You don’t want me alone because you think Tracy is gay?” For a fleeting second, I considered telling her I was gay just to see what reaction she would have. Fortunately, I didn’t. “It’s just not right,” she insisted. “No,” I replied angrily. “What isn’t right is you being so stupid!” Her face reddened, and her hands started to shake. She glared at me and said, “That’s enough! You’re grounded!” “Grounded!” I shouted. “For what?” “You’re not to go across the street again to see Tracy!” she shouted. “You’re wrong and you know it!” I shouted back. “I’m sixteen, and I’ll see whoever I want.” I turned and stormed from the kitchen. “Jack!” shouted my mother. “You come back here! We’re not through discussing this.” I rushed up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut. I sat at my computer desk and shook with anger. “I hate her!” I mumbled to myself. To say I was upset would be an understatement. I don’t think I had ever been so mad in my life. I couldn’t understand why she was being so unreasonable about Tracy. And I was furious because she said she didn’t want me to associate with him. I’m sixteen years old. I can decide my own friends. There was no way I was going to let her dictate who I could or could not talk to. A half hour later, my father hollered up the stairs for me to come down to dinner. Reluctantly, I made my way down. He was waiting for me at the bottom. I expected him to yell at me for the way I had talked to my mother. It surprised me when he rested his hand on my shoulder as we entered the dining room. My mother was already at the table. She didn’t look up when we entered. Dinner was extremely awkward. I had never before realized how irritating my sister’s eating habits are. In the silence, all I could hear was her smacking her food as she ate. She once looked around the table and asked, “What’s wrong? Why is no one talking.” She continued to smack away on her dinner after my mother sharply replied, “Never mind. Eat your dinner.” I hurriedly ate, and then I got up from the table and went to my bedroom. I slammed my door just for good measure. I wanted my mother to know I was upset. I worked for the next couple of hours on my homework assignments. At least, it took my mind off the argument I had earlier. I was almost finished when someone knocked on my door. Jimmy stuck his head in and asked, “Can I come in?” I looked up and motioned for him to enter. “Yeah, sure,” I replied. He sat at my computer desk and watched me for a couple of minutes as I worked on an assignment for chemistry. Finally, he asked, “What’s going on?” I looked up and asked, “What do you mean?” “What’s wrong with your Mom?” “Why?” I gave him a puzzled look. She must have said something to him to indicate that there was something wrong. “When I came into the kitchen and asked where you were, she went off,” he explained. “I got kind of confused.” He paused a minute before asking, “What is going on with Tracy?” I glared at Jimmy and asked, “Why?” I knew my mother must have said something to Jimmy about her suspicions about Tracy. “I don’t know,” he replied. “She was asking me questions about him.” “What kind of questions?” He stared at me as he replied, “She thinks he’s a poof like I do.” “What!” I shouted. “She said that?” “Yeah,” he responded as he again stared at me and asked, “Well, she didn’t say poof, but she does think he’s a homo. You better watch it, Jack?” I jumped from the bed, pointed toward the door and shouted, “Get out!” “What?” He rose from the chair. “You’re kicking me out of your room?” I was trembling from anger as I shouted again, “Get out of my room, Jimmy!” “Fine,” he responded bitterly. “I’ll leave.” As he headed out the door, he mumbled, “Poof.” I can’t describe the wave of emotions that were surging through my body. They were overwhelming. I felt like I was in a car that was racing down the highway at 100 mph. In front of me was a brick wall, and the brakes wouldn’t work. All I could do was close my eyes and wait for the impact.
  3. Ronyx

    Chapter 6

    “Jack!” my mother hollered up the stairs. “Karen! Dinner is ready.” I waited until I heard my sister leave her room before I went downstairs. I arrived at the table just as my father was sitting down. He looked over at me and Karen and asked, “How was school today?” Dinnertime is usually the Spanish Inquisition at our house. It’s the only time when my family gets together quietly, so my parents take advantage of the situation to question us about school, homework and anything else they want to discuss. Lately, they have been spending a lot of time discussing Karen’s behavior. Since she turned eight, she thinks she’s eighteen. I never went through a rebellious stage, but I still think that eight is a little too young to be starting. Mom had prepared fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. For some reason, the large breast on my plate sickened me. I just couldn’t eat it. I ate a little of the mashed potatoes, and I pushed the green beans around on my plate. My mother asked, “Why aren’t you eating, Jack?” “I don’t know,” I replied. “I just don’t feel very hungry.” My father laughed and said, “You’re a growing boy. You should be on your second plate by now.” I nodded my head and pushed a few more beans around. My mother reached over and felt my forehead. “You’re not sick, are you?” she asked as she felt to see if I was running a temperature. “No, Mom,” I responded as I pulled away. “I feel fine.” “Then why aren’t you eating?” she asked again. “I’m just not hungry,” I replied. I pushed myself away from the table and asked, “May I be excused?” I got up and left before she said anything. I went back to my room and tried to do some homework, but it was futile. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I attempted to do some geometry problems, but I know I worked them all wrong. Then, I tried to read a story that was assigned to us in Literature, but Edgar Allan Poe just didn’t seem interesting. Finally, I went over to my computer and sat down. I googled, “gay,” but I got like a gazillion responses. I needed to narrow down what I wanted to find out. I then typed “gay teen,” and again there were thousands of sites that appeared. A lot were sites that featured gay teen porn. My parents trust me, and I don’t have a block for such sites, but I was still afraid to open one. I was afraid that Karen might come in my room someday to play a video game with one of her girlfriends, and by accident find the sites I visited. It would only take her a few minutes to run downstairs and tell Mom what she found. I sure wouldn’t want to explain to my parents why I had visited a site called ‘Sexy Teen Boys.’ I know that you can delete your search history, and I usually do at the end of the night if I’ve used my computer. However, Robert Dow at school once told us that administrators have a way of finding deleted history if we download something on a computer at school that we shouldn’t be looking at. Sonny Jeffers got really scared because he said he had looked at some women’s breasts once at a site he found in the library. For weeks, he was afraid he was going to get expelled. He didn’t, but it still made us aware that just because we delete something doesn’t mean it disappears forever. After scrolling several pages, I finally found an article that caught my eye, ‘Teens Coming Out.’ It appeared to be an article that was featured in a gay magazine. I began reading it, but the more I read, the more worried I became. The article tried to sound positive about being gay, but some of the stories about coming out scared me. All my fears seemed to be justified by reading the article. It warned about some of the problems that might occur. It discussed how my parents might react to finding out I am gay. One thing was certain, they wouldn’t do cartwheels in the street when they find out. I don’t think they would abandon me like in some of the examples they gave. One guy’s parents put him out, and he had to live on the streets. He eventually turned to prostitution and drugs. However, that was the most extreme reaction. The article explained how there might be a period of adjustment until parents finally accept the fact that they have a gay or lesbian child. Another thing the article discussed was how friends might accept it. There were many examples how a gay teen experienced rejection and loss of friendship when he or she came out. Reading that really frightened me. It confirmed what I was most worried about. The article stressed how if a friend is really your friend, they will accept it. But what about someone like me who can count their real friends on one hand? When I held up my hand and imagined three of my fingers being Jimmy, Tyler and Brian, I pushed them down when I considered if they would be my friend if they discovered I was gay. All I was left holding up was a fist. The more I read, the more worried I became. Finally, I closed the site and deleted my history. I didn’t want to read anymore. I had decided that I couldn’t come out. I went to the bathroom across the hall, took a quick shower and then crawled into bed. But sleep didn’t come easily. I woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. I sat up quickly in bed, and I was wet with sweat. My heart was pounding so rapidly, I thought it would explode. I started out dreaming about Tracy dancing onstage. He was alone, and I was enjoying watching him as he floated across the stage. Suddenly, Jimmy, Tyler and Brian danced onstage beside him. At first, they were wearing pink tutus. They circled Tracy and mocked him for the way he danced. They then began to taunt him and ordered him to dance. Jimmy grabbed his body and tossed him to Tyler. He screamed, “Dance you Poof!” Tyler spun him around and threw him into Brian. Suddenly, the audience began to chant, “Take the poof to the roof!” Jimmy and Brian grabbed Tracy by the arms and forced him offstage. The audience trailed behind as they continued to chant. A big door appeared, and it led to the top of a building. It must have been thirty stories high. They dragged Tracy to the edge, and the crowd shouted, “Take the poof and throw him off the roof!” I woke up just as they lifted Tracy, tossed him and his body disappeared from sight. “No!” I screamed as I sat up in bed. I looked around quickly as I realized I had just had a nightmare. There was a tap on the door, and my mother peeked her head in. “Are you alright, Jack?” she asked as she tiptoed across the floor. “Yeah,” I assured her. “I had a bad nightmare.” She sat on the edge of the bed and asked, “Do you need to talk about it?” “No,” I responded. “It was just a bad dream. I’ll be okay.” She patted my arm, rose from the bed and went back to her bedroom. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. It was only a quarter after three, but each time I rested my head on the pillow, I kept seeing Tracy being thrown from the building. I was afraid to go back to sleep because, if I did, I might see him hit the ground below. When I went down for breakfast, my mother was frying bacon on the stove. She turned and asked if I had anymore nightmares. “No, Mom,” I replied. I didn’t tell her that I lay awake the rest of the night. Karen entered so she started talking to her, and she didn’t ask me anything more. As we were eating, Mom informed us that my sister Stephanie was coming home for the weekend. It was the first time she had been home in several weeks. “She’s bringing a friend,” she informed us. She then turned to me and said, “She said he’s a guy.” I asked, “Is it her boyfriend?” As far as I knew, she didn’t say she had a boyfriend. However, she might have since the last time she was home. “I’m not sure,” responded my mother. “She said his name is Darren, but she didn’t mention if he is a boyfriend.” She turned, started washing dishes in the sink and said, “He’ll be sleeping in your room, Jack.” “What?” I shouted. “I have to give up my room for some college guy?” “Well,” huffed my mother. “I can’t have him sleeping on the couch, and he’s definitely not going to sleep in Stephanie’s room.” “Why not, Mommy?” asked Karen. “If he’s her boyfriend.” My mother looked at me aghast. I started giggling. “Yeah, Mom. Why not?” She quickly composed herself because I think she was afraid Karen would continue to question her. “It’s just not the proper thing to do,” she replied as she turned and continued washing dishes. “I still don’t know why I have to give up my room,” I huffed. I looked over at my sister. “Why can’t he sleep in Karen’s room.” “Forget it,” replied Karen. “I’m not giving up my room. Besides, you’re a boy.” “What’s that got to do with anything?” I asked. “That’s enough,” my mother interrupted. “Jack, he’s sleeping in your room. If you don’t want to sleep on the couch, then you can bring a sleeping bag from the basement and sleep on it in your room.” I asked, “Why can’t Darren sleep in the sleeping bag?” I stuck my tongue out at my sister when she mimicked my mother saying, “It’s not the proper thing to do.” I waited a few minutes longer before heading out to school. Jimmy hadn’t stopped by, so he was probably still mad at me for defending Tracy in front of Brian and Tyler. I watched out the window as Tracy made his way down the sidewalk. When he was a block away, I pulled my bookbag over my shoulder and headed out the door. All the way to school I grumbled about giving up my bed to my sister’s friend. I laughed to myself when I thought about peeing in the bed Thursday night and making him sleep in it over the weekend. I passed Jimmy in the hallway on the way to first period. He was with two guys on the basketball team. He looked over, but he turned his head and appeared to ignore me. ‘Fine,” I thought. ‘If he wants to play this game, I can play it too.’ After third period, I saw him and Tyler approaching. I turned and started talking to Jill, a girl in my class. She seemed surprised that I talked to her, but we chatted all the way to fourth period. I know she likes Jimmy, and I think she wanted to know if he ever said anything about her to me. He has mentioned that he likes her, but I didn’t want to tell her. I wasn’t about to play matchmaker to someone who wasn’t talking to me. At lunch, I wasn’t sure what I should do. I considered heading to the library to work on a homework assignment, but the librarian is strict, and she won’t let anyone enter without a pass. I really wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t go through the line when I entered the cafeteria. I headed to an empty table toward the back where I hoped no one would notice me. I took out a handout that had been assigned in geometry and began to work a problem. I looked over when someone sat across from me. It was Jeff Munson! He smiled, waved his hand and said timidly, “Hi, Jack.” “Um,” I hesitated. “Hi, Jeff.” I looked around to see if anyone noticed that we were sitting together. I asked, “What are you doing here?” A hurt look appeared on Jeff’s face. He pushed himself away from the table and stood. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. As he turned to leave, I said, “No, Jeff. Wait.” He gave me a puzzled look. I told him, “If you want to sit down, go ahead.” “You sure?” he asked. When I nodded my head, he smiled and sat down. I continued to work on my geometry problem. I didn’t want to be rude, but I was hoping he would take the hint that I really didn’t want to talk and leave. He unwrapped a hamburger and started nibbling on it. “Aren’t you eating?” he asked. I shook my head. “I’m not hungry,” I replied. I looked into his face. I had seen Jeff for several years from a distance, but I never dared to stare at him. I was surprised how cute he was. His eyes are amazingly blue, and they seemed to sparkle like glitter. His face was free of blemishes, unlike most boys are age. It was also hairless, not even a wisp of a mustache. His hair is blonde and unkempt which I find really sexy. It flows over his forehead and covers his left eye. His lips are a pale pink. He bit the right side as he stared back at me. “Why aren’t you hungry?” he asked nervously as he looked away. I glanced around as more students began to sit nearby. Two girls looked over, whispered to each other and giggled. My voice cracked as I replied, “I got too much homework.” He giggled and said, “You can eat and do homework at the same time.” When I looked up at him, he brushed some stray hair that had fallen across his eye. As soon as he did, it fell back again. I glanced quickly around again, leaned forward and asked softly, “What do you want, Jeff?” He shrugged his shoulders and answered, “I don’t know. I just thought we could talk. Tracy said…” “Look, Jeff,” I said hurriedly as I shoved my homework inside my bookbag. I stood, looked down and said, “I gotta go. Okay?” I didn’t look back as I rushed from the cafeteria. When I passed the table where Jimmy, Tyler and Brian were sitting, they let out a loud laugh. Now I’m mad as hell at Tracy. He must have told Jeff what we did in the back of the van. Why else would he just unexpectedly sit down with me at lunch and start talking. We’ve gone to school since the first grade, and at one time we were friends. That is, until he came out. Since seventh grade all of us have avoided him. Tracy must have told him I’m gay. Worst yet, Jimmy, Tyler and Brian saw him sitting with me. Now they are probably wondering if I’m gay. Why else would Jeff sit beside me? As I did this morning, I waited around after school. Jimmy and the others had basketball practice, so I wasn’t afraid of running into them. I didn’t want to see Tracy. I was afraid what I might say to him if I did. I had to be careful, however. I never came out to him, and he never asked me if I was gay. He simply told me he was, and that is why we couldn’t be friends. So, if I approached him and asked him about Jeff, then he might wonder why I was upset. Tracy seems really smart, so he could figure it out quickly. If I tell him I don’t want to associate with Jeff because he’s gay, then I would sound like a hypocrite. I’m gay, yet I can’t talk to another gay boy because he’s gay? Tracy is gay, too. However, that is easier since he won’t talk to me. This whole thing is getting confusing. It’s more than I can handle. Why do I have to be gay? It’s not something that I can change. But it is also something I don’t want to be. I know my world is going to change when I do come out. And right now, the odds of not coming out are getting slimmer every day. Tracy suspects I’m gay. Hell, he knows I’m gay. Why else would I have stroked his dick in the back of the van? If I had been able to, I probably would have put it in my mouth. I wanted to put it in my mouth, and I’ve never done anything like that before. I’ve thought about it- a lot. When I look at guys on the internet, I’m always imagining what it would be like to have sex with them. But it scares me to think about that. I can’t even imagine doing it. I don’t know what to do. I would say I’m on a roller coaster ride, but I’m not. At least on a roller coaster you have highs where you feel good. Right now, all I feel are lows, and they seem to get lower each day. Things were okay until Tracy moved in and had to do ballet in his room and let Jimmy see him. He started out jokingly calling him a poof. But now, he seems to really resent him. I don’t think it’s because he’s gay. Before Tracy, Jimmy never talked about a gay person. He would occasionally call someone a fag or a cocksucker, but it wasn’t in a mean kind of way. But poof sounds mean. It’s insulting to me. He never called Jeff that. Thinking back, he really never called Jeff anything. Like all of us, he just stopped talking to him when he came out. He’s pretty much left him alone. But for some reason, he instantly didn’t like Tracy. Maybe it’s because Jimmy is an athlete, although he’s not a very good one. He plays basketball, and in the summer, he enjoys playing baseball. We’ve gone bowling on the weekend, and we have tried to play tennis. Jimmy enjoys competitive sports. I don’t think he considers what Tracy does as athletic. If he could just watch him like I did the other night, he would realize that ballet takes more skill than any sport he competes in. Jimmy is like my mom and dad. He thinks ballet is for sissies, or poofs, as he calls them. Any guy who dances is weak and effeminate. And Tracy is a lot like Jeff. If someone watches him long enough, they will certainly suspect that he is gay. He is very graceful when he walks. And when he talks, it is somewhat girlish. The few times we’ve talked, he seems to talk with his hands. I’ve noticed Jeff doing the same thing when he’s with a group of girls at school. They make a lot of gestures when they talk. I never thought much of it until I watched them eating together in the cafeteria. I then watched Jimmy, Brian and Terry talk. Not once did they make any movements with their hands, except when Brian talked about Emily Spencer. She has huge breasts, and he cupped his hands over his chest to show how big they are. Now, I’m watching how I talk, and I wonder if I use gestures. I’m becoming so conscious of it that I’m beginning to look like a zombie with my hands to my side. I’m afraid if I make too many movements then I’m afraid people with think I’m gay. As I approached my house, I noticed Tracy sitting on his steps. When I came nearer, he rose, walked across the street and waited for me. “Hey,” he said as I stopped before him. “Hi,” I replied. I was puzzled why he was talking to me. He asked nervously, “Can we go somewhere and talk?” “About what?” “Please, Jack,” he pleaded. “We need to talk.” I looked at my house, and I considered inviting him to my room. However, I was afraid Karen would be in her room. She would wonder why Tracy was with me. I’m sure she had picked up what Mom and Dad had said about Tracy. She is only eight, but even at eight she knows what gay means. Tracy asked, “How about my room?” “I don’t know,” I responded skeptically. The last time I was in his room was uncomfortable. He had caught me watching him dance. He grabbed my arm and started to pull me across the street. “I’m not going to molest you,” he laughed as he tugged at my arm. Reluctantly, I followed him across the street. Once inside, he toed off his shoes in the foyer. Unsure if it was something I was expected to do, I toed off my shoes. Fortunately, my socks were clean. As we walked into the living room to his bedroom, his mother was sitting on the sofa reading a book. She stopped and looked up at us. “Hello, Jack,” she said with a smile. “I haven’t seen you around lately.” “I’ve been kind of busy,” I responded. Tracy grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. We walked into his bedroom, and he closed the door behind him. I watched as he began to undress in front of me. He pulled his shirt over his head, and let his pants drop to the floor. He had his back turned to me, so he didn’t see me staring at his nicely rounded ass. “What are you doing?” My voice was raspy from nervousness. I thought he was going to get naked and seduce me. He turned and replied, “I’m getting out of my school clothes.” My eyes immediately noticed the bulge in his underwear. I could feel myself start to harden. It was just a week ago that I had my hand wrapped around it. He walked over to the closet, removed a tee shirt and athletic shorts hanging inside and got dressed. When he finished, he walked over to the bed and sat down. He motioned for me to sit beside him. “Sit down, Jack.” Reluctantly, I walked over and sat beside him. I looked over and asked, “Why am I here? You’ve acted all week like you don’t want to talk to me.” He smiled and answered, “I’ve changed my mind.” I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What’s that mean?” “Okay,” he stated. “We didn’t exactly get off on the right foot.” I nodded my head. He laughed and said, “Well, it did start off kind of nice in the back of the van.” My face reddened and I started to apologize, “About that, I’m really…” “No,” he interrupted me. “It didn’t bother me.” He looked down at my crotch. “In fact, it was kind of fun.” I giggled and said, “Yeah, it was.” We both looked down at my crotch as it was beginning to strain from the material. He turned toward me and sat Indian style on the bed. “I want to try and start over again.” “Why?” I asked. “You have to understand something about me,” he started to explain. I nodded my head and waited for him to continue. “I’m a fighter. I’ve had to be. When I was little, I knew I was different than most boys. I think I began to realize when I was probably about seven that I was gay.” He stopped and waited to see if I would say anything. When I didn’t, he continued, “It was around that time that my mom took me to see The Nutcracker at Christmas. It was the most interesting thing I had ever seen. I came home and told my parents I wanted to dance like the Prince. They tried to talk me out of it, but I kept insisting. After that, they enrolled me in a dance class, and I’ve been dancing ever since.” All I could think of to say was, “Wow.” He giggled and asked, “Just wow?” “No,” I replied. “I think it’s cool you wanted to be a dancer.” “I’ve been practicing almost every day since I was seven,” he said. My face reddened when I told him, “You’re really good. I enjoyed watching you.” He smiled and asked, “You did?” “Yeah,” I giggled. “I don’t know what you do, but I like it.” It surprised me when he grabbed my hand and held it. My first instinct was to pull away, but I didn’t. “I really want us to be friends. Jeff says you’re a really nice guy.” “Jeff?” “Yeah,” he frowned. “He kind of got upset when you left the table at lunch.” “Well…” “No,” he said as he gripped my hand tighter. “It’s okay. He understands. He told me how you guys avoid him. It hurts him, but he knows why you do it.” I started to pull my hand away, but he held it tighter. I didn’t want to try and explain that we avoided Jeff because he was gay. He looked into my eyes and asked, “Are you gay, Jack?” I stared into his green eyes and considered whether I wanted to tell Tracy the truth; although, I was sure I really didn’t have to say anything. He squeezed my hand tighter and pleaded, “Please Jack, say it.” Before I knew what happened, I heard, “Yes,” slip from my lips. “Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
  4. Ronyx

    Chapter 19

    @droughtquake Could you explain your thinking behind Richard’s motivations and actions, please? I think Richie expressed it best when he said that he suspected everyone knew, but they just didn't say anything. They are only sixteen, and I'm sure the parents didn't want to openly condone them sleeping together- hence no king size bed to frolic and have wild passionate sex on. Separate them with twin beds. LOL. Besides, Linda saw them kissing, and I'm sure she told Richard. I also gave several indications that Richard was okay with Richie being gay. He paid for Wade's funeral. He accepted Freddy being gay, and after telling the Matthew Shepard story and the guy having 'gay' carved into his chest, he put his hands on Richie's shoulders and said "Sorry, Son." Also, he sent Richie to live with his aunt and uncle not as a punishment for admitting he was gay, but he 'set him free', hoping he would return. These are subtle signs of acceptance. I didn't feel that I needed to include a big 'coming out' scene. As for the car, it was a big thing with him and Gabe for years, like every sixteen year old. My parents bought me a car when I turned sixteen, so I didn't see it as trying to buy Richie's love as much as fulfilling a teenager's biggest dream. Interestingly, I read an article recently that stated its not a big priority for teenagers today to have a driver's license and a car. Who accompanied Melinda in the amusement park, Linda? Okay. I can't think of everything. My focus was on the boys. We'll assume she spent the day with her father and Linda.
  5. A Mourning Storm is completed.  A Mourning Storm


    1. Timothy M.

      Timothy M.

      So did he stay with his uncle and aunt ? Or did you go for the predictable ending with him giving in to the manipulative bastard ?

  6. Ronyx

    Chapter 19

    I was nervous the entire day. It had been a couple of years since I had celebrated my birthday. Mom tried, but she was usually too weak for me to enjoy it. After eating ice cream and a store-bought cake, I would take her to her bedroom and put her in bed. She would kiss me and wish me happy birthday. She knew when I turned fifteen it would be the last birthday she would celebrate with me. I think I did too, but I didn’t want to admit it at the time. “You’re turning into such a handsome young man,” she said weakly as she brushed my long black hair from my eyes. Then she just stared at me. She didn’t say anything. She just stared. Then tears formed in her eyes as she looked up and smiled. She sighed, put her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. I knew the reason for the tears. Gabe and Freddy surprised me at lunch. When I sat down, Gabe pulled out a cupcake from a lunch bag and put it on the table in front of me. I started laughing because it contained sixteen candles. You couldn’t see the icing because of the candles. “I’d light them,” said Freddy, “but I don’t want to get suspended for starting a fire in school.” He pretended to light them with an imaginary match. “Now blow them out and make a wish.” I pretended to blow them out as the guys at the table laughed. “What did you wish for?” Gabe asked excitedly. “That you’d grow a bigger dick,” I replied. The guys at the table erupted into laughter as Gabe’s face turned a bright red. A teacher walked over and asked us to quiet down. Gabe and Freddy were waiting for me when I arrived at my locker after school. We were talking as I put my books in the locker when Earl came walking up. He reached out and gently touched my arm. “Hey, Richie.” He looked at Gabe and Freddy and brushed the hair from his eyes. “Hi, Guys.” Freddy nodded and Gabe merely rolled his eyes. He turned back to me and asked excitedly, “Are you still picking me up in the morning?” “Sure, Earl,” I assured him. “We’ll be there around ten.” He flipped his hair back and smiled. “I can’t wait,” he replied enthusiastically. He then turned and started skipping down the hall. Gabe looked angrily at me. “I’ll kill you, Richie, if I get stuck with him all day.” I started laughing. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and lose your virginity.” I ducked when he swung a book at me. As we walked home, Gabe kept talking about how much fun we were going to have. He was trying to make my birthday feel special. Since his birthday was in a couple of months, he was planning a huge party. I think he felt guilty that mine wouldn’t be as big as his. Freddy looked over and asked, “Why don’t you spend the night with me?” “Ohhh!” Gabe squealed. “Birthday sex!” He laughed when we both started blushing. “No!” Freddy insisted as he looked at me. “It’s not like that, Richie, honest.” His face continued to redden. “I just thought it would be fun if we slept together tonight.” “Damn!” Gabe laughed. “Birthday sex!” Freddy’s face started to redden even more which caused Gabe to laugh harder. Freddy nervously looked pleadingly at me. “I just thought it would be fun if you spent the night after the party tonight. I don’t want to have sex or anything.” I reached out and touched his arm. “I know what you mean.” I turned to Gabe and frowned. “Even if this idiot doesn’t.” Gabe grinned. “You have to admit, birthday sex sounds like fun.” “Okay,” I said. “We’ll plan it for your birthday.” I put my hand to my chin and pretending to be thinking. “Let me see, should it be Sasha or Teresa?” I started laughing. “I know. I’ll ask both of them.” Gabe’s eyes lit up. He reached out and high-fived me. “Hell, yeah!” Freddy and I started laughing when he reached down and rearranged his growing cock. ******** “Don’t be so nervous, Dear.” Aunt Barbara turned around in the car and smiled at me. I tried to return her smile, but it was difficult. My stomach was turning flip-flops. I hardly ate anything for dinner because I was afraid I would throw it up. One of the things that worried me was feeling like I was part of ‘their’ family, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Returning home and enjoying myself would seem like I had abandoned my mother. So much heartache had been felt there the past few years, it didn’t seem right that I should be having fun. Dad had moved in with Linda and her children. Andrew and Melinda seemed to be accepting the situation. But to me, it didn’t seem right. I felt that everyone had forgotten Mom. When I visited Freddy the past couple of weeks, it seemed like with each visit more of Mom disappeared from the house. Gone were the pictures on the wall. The furniture she and Dad had purchased was slowing being replaced by newer. Even the pink towels in the guest bathroom that I had always told her were ugly were gone. In their place were designer blue towels. Home didn’t seem like home anymore. Even my bedroom had been redecorated. Freddy never took me there; but once when I was thirsty, I went upstairs to the kitchen. No one else was in the house, so I snuck down the hallway and peeked into it. I didn’t recognize it as being the place where I had spent fifteen years. When I looked into Mom’s room, the same bedroom furniture was there, but it had been rearranged and completely redecorated. It also smelled fresh. Mom’s sickness had been removed. My hands started trembling when Uncle Ray pulled into the driveway. Seconds later, Andrew and Harley came running out to the car. When I got out, Andrew threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I could also feel Harley hugging me from behind. “Happy Birthday, Richie!” Andrew shouted excitedly. “Yeah,” mimicked Harley. “Happy Birthday.” When I turned around, he was grinning. “We’re going to have chocklit cake. Mommy made it special for you.” He grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the house. Linda greeted me at the door and gave me a hug. Freddy was standing behind her smiling. I walked to him and he pulled me into a hug. I was startled when my father came in, walked over to me and gave me a quick hug. “Happy Birthday, Son.” He pulled away and patted me on my back. Melinda then ran into the room and hugged me. Harley grabbed my hand and pulled me into the dining room. “We got you some presents,” he announced excitedly. “I made you a birthday card at school.” He rushed over, took it from the table and handed it to me. Linda walked over and gently took it from my hand. “I think we should wait at least until Richie has blown out the candles on his cake.” Harley let out a squeal and sat down in front of the beautiful cake in the middle of the table. It was decorated in yellow icing and had a large, “Happy 16,” written in brown icing. I turned to her. “It’s beautiful,” I remarked. “Thanks, Linda.” I then gave her a hug. I looked over at my father. He was standing with his hands on Melinda’s shoulders with a wide smile on his face. “I want some cake!” Gabe shouted excitedly. My father took out a match and lit the candles. “Blow them out!” Harley shouted. I took a deep breath and blew them out in one breath. “Did you make a wish?” Linda asked. I smiled and nodded my head. Freddy stepped up beside me and asked, “What did you wish for?” “I’ll tell you later. Okay?” He smiled and nodded his head. Linda cut the cake and gave me the first piece. Harley, of course, got the second. My father went around the table and scooped out strawberry ice cream onto everyone’s plate. I was surprised that he remembered it was my favorite flavor. When we finished, Harley took his card from the table and handed it to me. “I made it myself,” he said proudly. I opened it and it said, “Happy Birthday to my brother.” He had signed it and put a smiley face beside his name. “It’s beautiful,” I remarked as I gave him a hug. “Thank you.” Andrew started to cry. “I didn’t make you a card.” He handed me a wrapped gift. “I just got you a stupid movie.” I unwrapped it and smiled. “I’ve wanted to see this for a long time,” I said excitedly. His face lit up. “Really?” “Yeah, sure,” I reassured him. “I didn’t get to see it when it came out at the theaters.” “Can we watch it together sometime?” he asked hopefully. “I’d like to see it too.” Harley shouted, “Me, too!” “Sure,” I replied as I gave them both a hug. Gabe walked over carrying a package wrapped in the Sunday cartoon section. “I guess I’m next.” He handed it to me. I held it up and shook it. “It’s not going to explode, is it?” Everyone started laughing as I carefully unwrapped it. “You didn’t!” I shouted when I saw the printing on the box. It was the latest Xbox 360 video game. I gave him a big hug. “Thanks, Gabe.” “It’s more for me than you,” he laughed. “Now I can come over and beat your...” “Gabe!” My aunt shouted. Everyone started laughing. Freddy walked over next and handed me a large package. “Mom and I made this for you.” I started crying when I opened it. It was a large picture frame, and they had taken pictures from a photo album and made a collage of Mom, me, Andrew and Melinda. In almost all the pictures we were smiling and laughing. Most appeared to be taken during vacations when we were little. Andrew was only a few years old in most of them, and I appeared to be about six or seven. Dad was in one of them. He and Mom were sitting on the beach with their arms around each other. “Thanks,” I said tearfully. I gave Freddy and Linda a big hug. Andrew took it off to the side and he, Melinda and Harley sat on the floor and looked at the pictures. “That’s a hard act to follow,” my father said as he walked up to me. “It’s taken them several weeks to put that together. I hope you like it.” “I do,” I responded as I looked down at the floor where my brother, sister and Harley were giggling at how young we all looked in the pictures. He nodded to Freddy. Freddy left the room. When he returned, he was carrying a large teddy bear. He handed it to my father. “I hope you like it, Son.” He handed me the bear. I took it and gave him a puzzled look. I was becoming angry because I thought he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone. “Thanks,” I said disappointedly. I looked over and saw Freddy put his hand to his mouth as he tried to stifle a laugh. I then looked back at my father. “What’s going on?” “You don’t like the bear?” He, too, was trying hard not to laugh. “It’s okay,” I said, “but don’t you think I’m a little too old for stuffed animals.” I looked over as Freddy started laughing loudly. Even Linda started laughing. “Maybe,” replied my father, “but I don’t think you’re too young for what is in his hand.” I gave him a puzzled look as I opened the bear’s hand. A car key was tied around one of its fingers. I removed the key and held it up. “What’s this?” My father took it from my hand. “It looks like a key.” He held it up and examined it. “I wonder what it goes to?” He put his hand on my back and led me towards the front door. Everyone was following closely behind. When we stepped out onto the porch, I immediately noticed a silver Honda Civic sitting in the driveway. “No fucking way!” Gabe shouted. “Gabe!” My aunt, uncle and Linda shouted. He ran over and started looking in the windows. I looked up at my father, and he nodded. “It’s yours, Richie.” Freddy followed me over to the car. I opened the driver’s door and sat down. Gabe got in the passenger’s seat. “Jesus, Richie!” he said excitedly. “You got a fucking car for your birthday! You lucky shit! My parents are only going to buy me a new computer.” I listened as my father talked to Uncle Ray as they stood outside the car. My father told him he had bought the car at a sheriff’s auction. It had been seized in a drug sweep. When I got out, he called me over to him. “Now, Son,” he said as he put his hands on my shoulders. “You realize there are certain responsibilities to driving a car?” I nodded and tried to hold back tears. Images of Wade’s driving suddenly appeared in my mind. “I have two requirements for you having a car so young.” I nodded my head. “First, you will start Wednesday taking a three-week driver’s education course taught by one of my friends. Agreed?” I nodded. “Second,” he said. “I will pay for your gas and maintenance the first year. When you turn seventeen, I expect you to get a part time job and maintain the expenses yourself. Understand?” I nodded my head. He then handed me a plastic card. “What’s this?” I turned it over in my hand. It was a gasoline credit card. “Like I said,” he explained. “I’ll pay for your gas the first year. Use that card. Just don’t take a trip to California.” He smiled and patted me on my back. Gabe asked excitedly, “What about Florida, Mr. Ferguson?” Everyone started to laugh. “How about to school and back?” My father responded. He turned back to me. “Well, aren’t you going to take it for a spin?” “I can’t drive, Dad,” I reminded him. He looked over at Freddy. “Freddy can drive you around.” He opened the driver’s door and Freddy got in. “Shotgun!” Gabe shouted. I walked over to the passenger’s door and leaned in toward Gabe. “Can we go alone?” He gave me a disappointed look. “Please? We’ll come back and go somewhere later.” He got out and I sat down beside Freddy. He backed out onto the street and drove away. I didn’t have to say anything to him. It was as if he read my mind. We rode in silence as we passed through the double wrought iron gate. We drove up the winding road. I took a deep breath and then got out of the car. As I approached, I noticed that the grave was no longer bare. There was now a marble gravestone with her name engraved on it. Grass was beginning to grow where there once was dirt. Judith Ferguson 1972- 2009 She is now an angel among us I sat down cross-legged before it. “Hi, Mommy.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “I wanted to come here because today is my birthday.” I sat silently for several minutes before saying anything. “I’m keeping my promise to you,” I said tearfully. “I’m trying to be good now. I’m back in school and making good grades. I’m not getting into any trouble.” I ran my hand over the new grass. “I’m getting along better with Dad.” I wiped the tears away with my sleeve. “He bought me a car for my birthday.” I pulled a blade of grass and started tearing it into small pieces. “He said we’re trying to find a middle ground. I think I know what he means.” I turned and saw Freddy still sitting in the car and looking worriedly at me. “I want you to meet someone. I hope you won’t be mad, but he’s helping me find my way back.” I motioned for Freddy to come over to where I was sitting. He approached slowly and then sat down beside me. “This is Freddy.” From the corner of my eye, I noticed him wave timidly at her gravestone. I reached down and took his hand. “I like him, but I guess you already know that.” Freddy squeezed my hand tighter. I wiped my eyes dry and then stood up. Freddy stood beside me. I looked down at the gravestone. “I just wanted to come by so you could wish me a happy birthday. I know you wanted to.” I leaned down and kissed the cold marble. “I love you, Mommy.” I turned, took Freddy’s hand and walked back to my silver car. ******** When we returned, Gabe had already left with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ray. We went downstairs, cuddled up on the couch and watched a movie. I was almost asleep with my head on Freddy’s shoulder when Andrew and Harley came bounding down the stairs. “Whatcha doing?” Harley asked as he plopped down in my lap. Andrew scooted in between me and Freddy. I looked over at the clock. It was past ten. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Harley wrinkled his nose. “I’m not tired yet,” he said. “I’m too excited about going to the park tomorrow.” “You’ve got a sugar high from all the ice cream and cake,” Freddy replied. Andrew sat up and looked over at me. “Can we sleep down here with you guys tonight?” Harley jumped from my lap and stood before me. “Yeah!” he squealed. “Please?” Freddy looked at me then back to his little brother. “We only have one sleeping bag, and it’s for Richie.” “We can sleep on our blankets,” squealed Harley as he grabbed Andrew’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go get them.” They tore off screaming up the steps. Freddy looked at me and frowned. “So much for a quiet night.” “Don’t worry,” I assured him. “If I know Andrew, he’ll be asleep as soon as he lies down.” “Don’t count on Harley to,” he replied. “With everything he’s eaten tonight, he may not be able to fall asleep.” Just then both boys came bounding down the stairs carrying their pillows with their blankets thrown around their shoulders. They placed them on the floor and made a bed for themselves. They then covered themselves and grinned at us. “Comfy?” I asked. “Yeah!” Harley said excitedly. “This is fun.” They watched television for a little while. Soon we heard them both snoring softly. “That didn’t take long,” laughed Freddy. He stretched his arms out and yawned. “I’m kind of tired myself.” I looked around the room. Except for the sofa, there didn’t appear like there was any place for both of us to sleep. “How are we going to do this?” Freddy shrugged, and then looked down at the two sleeping boys. “I’ve got some blankets in the closet,” he said. “I’ll go upstairs and take some out of the other bedroom. We can sleep on the floor like them.” He walked over to the closet, pulled out the blankets and pillow and tossed them to me. I laid them down on the floor. I wasn’t sure if I should make two beds or one like Harley and Andrew had made. I decided one would be better. Freddy smiled when he returned and saw that I was planning for us sleeping together. We completed making our makeshift bed. Freddy looked nervously at me. “How do you want to do this?” I shrugged my shoulders. He walked over, turned out the light and then started removing his clothes. I couldn’t believe it when he pulled off his boxers and then crawled into the bed naked. I was trembling when I took off my clothes and crawled in beside him. We lay quietly on our backs for several minutes. I stopped breathing when he rolled over and put his arm across my bare chest. He then leaned in and kissed me. I turned and looked over at our brothers who were lying about six feet away. “Do you think we should be doing this?” “Probably not.” His voice was trembling as he rubbed his hand up and down my chest. “But I can’t stand it anymore, Richie.” He rolled over on top of me. His hard cock rested atop mine. He moaned into my mouth as he kissed me passionately. After several minutes, he pulled away and looked down at me. “Do you want me to stop?” I shook my head. He kissed me again and then began to move down my body kissing me gently. I had to put my hand over my mouth so that I wouldn’t shout out. I looked over at Harley and Andrew. They were still sleeping with their faces turned away from us. Freddy continued to move downward. Even though he was under the blanket, if one of the boys awoke, they would be able to see what we were doing. I gasped when his warm mouth engulfed my stiff cock. He gently ran his lips up and down my shaft. I again had to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t moan. When he quickened his movements, I thrust my hips to match his. After several minutes of ramming my cock into his mouth, I was ready to cum. I grabbed his head to pull him off, but he batted away my hand. I started whimpering softly as I erupted into his mouth. I quickly looked over to make sure that Harley and Andrew were still asleep. He continued to suck me until my cock became soft. He kissed it gently, moved up and lay down beside me. He put his arm across my chest and pulled me into him. “Happy Birthday,” he whispered softly into my ear. I nodded and then kissed him. “That was the best present ever.” “Better than the car?” “Yes,” I replied as I kissed him again. “Better than the car.” I looked over at our brothers. They were still sleeping. I reached down, grabbed Freddy’s hard cock and started to slowly masturbate him. “You don’t have to,” he whispered lustily into my ear. “I know,” I whispered back, “but then my birthday wish won’t come true.” His body stiffened when I disappeared under the covers and covered his cock with my mouth. It was wet with precum. Sucking him was different than sucking Wade’s. He was much larger, and it was covered with foreskin. I gagged when I tried to force as much of it into my mouth as I could. Soon I found a rhythm I was comfortable with. After several minutes, I felt the head swell in my mouth. I knew from sucking Wade that he was getting ready to cum. Within seconds, I felt a flood of cum invade my mouth. I tried to swallow it, but there was too much. I opened my mouth and let it ooze out onto his cock. Tears appeared in my eyes as I tried not to gag. I pulled off and started coughing. I froze when I heard one of the boys stir next to us. A minute later, Freddy grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up beside him. He reached over, grabbed his tee shirt and then wiped himself clean under the blanket. When he was done, he rolled over and smiled at me. “I love you, Richie Ferguson.” He leaned in and kissed me. I pulled away with tears in my eyes. “Me, too,” I replied as I kissed him gently. I rolled over on my side. He spooned his body against mine. A few minutes later, we were both sleeping peacefully. ******** It was nine when Gabe came bounding down the stairs. The younger boys had left an hour earlier to get ready for the day. Freddy and I were on the sofa. I had my head in his lap and he was running his hand over my head. “Hey, Guys!” Gabe suddenly stopped when he saw us. “Shit!” he exclaimed. “What?” I asked as I sat up. “You guys had birthday sex!” Without thinking, I said, “How do you know?” “I knew it!” he shouted as he sat down beside us. Freddy looked up the stairs. “Would you be quiet! Mom’s going to hear you.” “You Fuckers!” Gabe frowned. “Now I really gotta get me a girl to give me some on my birthday.” “There’s always Rosy Palms,” I giggled. Freddy rolled over on the sofa laughing hysterically when Gabe turned his hand over and looked at it. Dad hollered down the stairs that everyone was ready. I heard him telling Harley and Andrew to stop playing and go get in the car. Uncle Ray was waiting for us outside. I gave him directions to Earl’s house. Earl was waiting on the porch when we pulled up. He came running down to the car with a big smile on his face. Freddy scooted over nearer to me while Earl jumped in beside him. “How was your birthday?” he asked as he handed me a small package. Gabe turned around and told him about the car my father had given me. “You’re lucky,” he said. “My mom says I can’t drive until I graduate from high school.” He and Freddy watched as I opened the gift he had given me. Inside the box was a gold pin with the rainbow colors on it. “It’s beautiful,” I said as I leaned over Freddy and hugged him. I couldn’t resist giving Freddy a quick kiss when I sat back. Earl’s eyes widened and then he started grinning. “Lucky shit!” he muttered softly. Freddy and I started laughing. Most of the car ride consisted of us talking about school. Gabe wanted to talk about sports, but Earl wanted to talk about boys. I noticed Uncle Ray shake his head several times in disbelief from some of the unusual comments Earl said. Since he was already familiar with Earl from the meeting in Mr. Latham’s office, I guess he was somewhat prepared for some of his comments. Gabe let out a loud sigh when we exited the car. Earl walked ahead with Freddy while we lagged behind. “I swear to God, Richie. If I ever have to spend another two hours with Earl again, I’m going to poke drumsticks through my ears.” I laughed and patted him on the back as we headed for the entrance. Once inside the park, Aunt Barbara gave her usual warning. We were to meet back at six, which gave us more time than previously. Gabe immediately disappeared. Freddy remarked that he was probably going to look for someone to give him birthday sex. Earl stayed with us for a while, and then he too headed off to ride some rides alone. Freddy and I rode several rides, but since most of the lines were long, we just decided to walk around and watch others having fun. I wanted to hold his hand as we walked, but I knew I couldn’t. Occasionally, we’d let our hands touch lightly as we walked beside each other. We did manage to make out briefly. We rode a caged ride that stopped at the top while others got on. Since no one below could see us, we kissed until the ride started again. We were sitting on a bench in the shade eating a hot dog when Earl approached. He had his hand on another boy’s arm. I recognized him as a freshman at our school. He was also a boy whom I had suspected was gay. We had looked at each other a few times in the hallway, but we hadn’t spoken. He was about a foot taller than Earl. He had mousy brown hair and brown eyes and a slight a goatee. “Hey, Guys!” Earl said excitedly when he came nearer. He took the boy’s hand and pulled him toward us. “This is Jeremy.” He waved timidly at us. Earl was beaming with excitement. He kept looking up at Jeremy and smiling. “I talked to your dad and he said it was all right if I stayed later with Jeremy. He called my mom and okayed it with her. Jeremy’s mom is going to take me home.” He looked up at Jeremy and then grinned at us mischievously. “If I go home tonight.” “You don’t care, do you, Richie?” I was amused because it was if he was getting my permission to see another boy. I stepped forward and gave him a hug. “Of course not. I’m happy for you.” He whispered in my ear, “I think he likes me, Richie.” I squeezed him tighter before he pulled away, grabbed Jeremy’s hand and walked away. When I looked over at Freddy, he was grinning. “See,” I laughed. “Now you don’t have anything to worry about.” “I wasn’t worried anyway,” he stated confidently. “What makes you so sure?” I kidded him. His expression softened. “Because you love me.” Our eyes meet. “Yeah,” I replied softly. He put his arm around my shoulder, pulled me into him and we walked away. Gabe came running up to us as we were heading toward the exit about ten minutes before six. He was waving his cell phone in front of him. “I got five girls’ numbers!” he announced excitedly. “Maybe one of them will give you birthday sex,” joked Freddy. He waved his phone over his head and shouted, “Hell, yeah!” Everyone was waiting for us at the place we were to meet. Harley and Andrew appeared ready to fall asleep. Aunt Barbara also looked exhausted. She had been the one who had to follow them around all day. “Are you ready, Boys?” My father asked as we approached. He turned to me. “Did you have a good time, Son?” “Yes, Dad,” I replied as I looked over at Freddy. “I did.” As we headed to the exit, a man walked up with a camera. He showed my father a card and explained to him that he was a photographer for the park. He wanted to take a family photo of us. My father agreed, so we began to position ourselves for the picture. I was in the center. My father was to my left with Linda beside him. Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ray were next to her. Freddy was to my right with Gabe next to him. Andrew, Harley and Melinda knelt in front of us. Just before the photographer took the picture, my father put his arm around my shoulder. I put my arm around Freddy’s waist, and Gabe locked his arm around mine. “Smile!” The photographer shouted out as he pointed the camera at us. “Say Rumplestiltskin.” Harley and Andrew started giggling. After Linda admonished them, the photographer lifted his camera. “Smile!” The camera flashed. ******** The picture hangs in our bedroom. Our bedroom is Freddy’s and mine. I moved back home about a month after my birthday. Dad fixed up the basement for us. It looks like a small apartment. He put in a dividing wall and turned half the basement into a bedroom for us. We were afraid to ask for a king size bed, so we ended up with twin beds. I think they suspect that Freddy and I are boyfriends, but right now we are acting like we are just best friends. Gabe is the only one who really knows. After everything everybody has been through, it seems to be the best thing to do. I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking about Mom or Wade. Freddy will hear me sniffling softly. I try not to let him hear me crying, but he always seems to know. He’ll get out of his bed, crawl into mine and hold me until I stop crying. I then fall safely asleep with his arms wrapped around me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into love with him, but I still haven’t come right out and said the words to him. I know he’s waiting to hear those three little words from me. It won’t be long, though. Dad and I have found that middle ground he talked about. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love and trust him like I did when I was younger, but I don’t hate him anymore. I even like Linda. She mothers me, but without trying to be my mother; if that makes any sense. Gabe’s still jealous. He received the computer for his birthday, and I got my driver’s license. I now drive the three of us to school each day. The storm clouds don’t hang over my head like they used to do. The sky darkens up now and then, but Freddy or Gabe is there to help me. Uncle Ray was right when he said it gets easier with each day. The hurt is a little less than the day before. I don’t ever want Mom or Wade to become just memories. I want them to live in my heart forever. Like my uncle said, they’ve become a part of who I now am. I’m finding it easier to live with that, and it gives me strength to face a new morning. And Gabe- he didn’t get any birthday sex. THE END
  7. Ronyx

    Chapter 18

    Oh, Drats, @droughtquake You know I don't like readers who ruin a story with a spoiler! 😋
  8. Ronyx

    Chapter 18

    Do you have any idea how boring in-school suspension can be? Earl and I started it yesterday, and thank God, we only have one more day to go. We enter the room quietly, sit at a cubicle and we remain there the entire day. We can’t even go to the cafeteria for lunch. I feel like I’m a prisoner. The only good thing about it is, I have managed to catch up on all the work I’ve missed the past few months. Earl keeps flirting with me. Since our ordeal in Mrs. Livingstone’s class, I guess he thinks we have bonded or something. I really don’t mind it, though. He is cute, even if his mannerisms are a bit girlish. We almost got into trouble yesterday when he passed me a note. The warden, Mr. Erving, saw him do it. “Mr. Buckman!” I thought I was going to shit my pants when I heard him shout out Earl’s name. I could only think of what happened the last time his name was shouted out in class. I quickly stuffed the paper he had passed me inside my notebook and prayed Mr. Erving wouldn’t come over and get it. “Would you like another day of suspension?” he hollered. Besides Earl and me, there were four other students sitting at cubicles across the room. They were too scared to turn in their seats to see what was happening. “No, Mr. Erving,” replied Earl in a trembling voice. And that was it. I let out a deep sigh when Erving picked up his newspaper and began to read it. Earl looked over at me and then buried his head inside the cubicle. We didn’t look at each other the rest of the day. I did read his note, though. I smiled when I saw what he had written. I’m glad Mr. Erving didn’t get it. He had drawn a pair of kissing lips. Underneath he had written, “I haven’t forgotten.” I should never have promised him I would kiss him. It wasn’t that I minded doing it. The past couple of days I found myself looking at his lips. They were full and had a pink color to them. I just didn’t want to give him the wrong impression that I liked him. He had been hurt too many times, and I didn’t want to make matters worse. When the bell rang at the end of the day, we stood and put our books in our book bags. Earl flipped his hair back and smiled at me. “One more day,” he said cheerfully. “I guess it hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would me.” His smiled widened. “Of course, I’ve been able to spend it with you, Richie.” I looked around the room. Everyone had left but the two of us. “Look, Earl,” I said. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend. You’re a great guy and all...” He put his finger to my lips. “Don’t worry, Richie,” he said softly. “I know a guy like you will never want a guy like me. So you don’t have to worry. Just let me dream a little, okay? It’s harmless.” Tears started to well up in his eyes. I looked quickly around the room to make sure we were alone. I then walked over to him…and kissed him. Not a kiss like you’d give your grandmother, but a big, wet, passionate kiss. At one point, I even let him push his tongue into my mouth. My cock strained inside my pants. He let his hand brush gently across it. After a minute, he pushed away from me. His eyes were sparkling with excitement. I looked down and noticed an obvious tent in his pants. “Wow, Richie!” He raised his hand to his mouth and touched it. “That was better than I ever expected.” I smiled back at him. “Yeah, it was.” His face started to redden. “I’ve wanted to do that for years,” he confessed. “I had a dream once that I was kissing you.” He started grinning. “What we just did was even better.” “I only did it because I promised you I would,” I reminded him. When his smile disappeared, I added quickly, “But I still liked it.” I reached down and grabbed my still erect cock. “See.” “I know,” he giggled. “You let me feel it.” “I did not,” I said playfully. “You just brushed your hand against it.” “Well,” he smiled. “I still felt it.” “Come, on.” I pulled my book bag over my shoulder. When I did, Earl reached down, gripped my cock and tugged on it. “Now I’ve felt it,” he giggled. Before leaving, he grabbed my arm. “Thanks, Richie,” he said. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way because of the things that happened, but I’ve enjoyed the past few days.” “Me, too,” I smiled. I thought he was going to cry when he looked at me and said, “Thanks for being my friend. I don’t have too many.” I put my hand on his shoulder as we left the room and headed toward the exit. ******** I was surprised when I went home and found Gabe and Freddy sitting on my bed talking. They looked up when I entered. “What are you doing here?” I asked as I took my book bag from my shoulder and let it drop to the floor. Gabe grabbed imaginary bars and grinned at me. “How was prison?” “Only one more day,” I replied as I flopped down on the bed between them. “Actually, I’ve gotten a lot of my work done.” I looked at Freddy and wiggled my eyebrows. “Now I can spend more time helping you catch up.” Gabe rose from the bed and acted as if he was leaving. “I’ll leave you guys alone.” He looked at me and grinned. “I know Richie. I’ll come back in about two minutes. He should be done by then.” “Bitch!” I screamed as I threw a pillow at him. Freddy was howling with laughter. He sat back down on the bed. “So,” I said, “You didn’t tell me why you’re both here.” Gabe looked over quickly at Freddy. “Okay,” responded Gabe. “I know you’re going to say no, but...” “No!” I interrupted. “I haven’t even finished.” “I know you, Gabe,” I replied. “When you start out saying I’ll say no, then the answer is no.” “But your birthday is next week,” he announced. “You’ll be sixteen.” I stared blankly at him. “It is?” With everything I had been through for the past few months, I had completely forgotten that I had a birthday coming up. “Next Friday,” he informed me. He looked back over at Freddy. “We want to do something special for you.” Freddy nodded his head. “Please don’t say no,” Gabe pleaded. I jumped off the bed and started pacing around the room. I stopped and stood before them. “I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t think I want a party.” Gabe jumped up. “It doesn’t have to be a party, Richie. Let’s just do something special, okay?” He started grinning. “We could always streak the neighborhood again.” Freddy fell back on the bed and started laughing. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t feel like celebrating my birthday, but I knew that Gabe wouldn’t take no for an answer. Since his birthday was two months away, we had talked for years what we would do when we turned sixteen. He already had plans for us when we turned twenty-one. Most of his plans involved going to a liquor store, showing them our ID and then going home and getting drunk. Of course, we’d have to wait until his birthday to do it. I definitely didn’t want a party. Most of our friends probably wouldn’t come anyway since I was now out and everyone in school knew I was gay. Attending my party might start rumors about their own sexuality. Other students would snicker and joke about it. If I had a small birthday party with just family, then Dad and Linda would be there and I’d feel uncomfortable. Even though Dad and I were getting along better since our dinner, I hadn’t been able to accept him back into my life completely. I was still trying to figure out what that middle ground could be. I stopped pacing and stood before them. “Okay,” I said as I crossed my arms. “We are not going to streak again.” “Damn!” Gabe looked over at Freddy and smiled. “So? What do you want to do?” “I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at Freddy. “How about we just go back to the amusement park? This time I can ride the rides.” Freddy smiled and nodded his head. “That doesn’t sound like a way to celebrate a big birthday, Richie,” Gabe complained. “I thought we could do something more fun. We can always go there.” “You asked me I wanted to do,” I said defensively, “and that’s what I want to do.” The amusement park seemed safe. It would get Gabe off my back, and I wouldn’t really have to be with anyone, but perhaps Freddy. Except for that afternoon we spent studying in the den at home, we really hadn’t had a chance to get to know each other very well. The last time we were at the park, we hardly spoke to one another. I was looking forward to it being like a first date. Gabe asked, “You sure it’s how you want to spend your sixteenth birthday?” “I’m sure,” I assured him. “Besides, your birthday is in two months. We’ll celebrate then, okay?” His face brightened. “Deal,” he said as he held out his hand and fisted mine. “But I want girls!” he exclaimed. “Lots of girls!” I looked over at Freddy and grinned. “All right.” I pretended to write on my hand. “Let’s see, we’ll invite Teresa. And Sasha, we have to invite her too.” “No!” Gabe shouted. Freddy and I started laughing. “Maybe a lot of girls isn’t a very good idea.” He patted the bed and asked me to sit down. Freddy sat beside me. “Okay,” he said. “We have something else to discuss.” “What?” I asked skeptically. “Well, duh.” He made a stupid face at me. “You’ll be sixteen.” He pretended like he was holding a steering wheel. “Driver’s license.” “Yeah, right,” I frowned. “Like that’s going to happen.” It had been something else that Gabe and I had discussed over the years. His father had already told him he would teach him to drive. He had even promised him a car as a graduation present. But who was going to teach me? Uncle Ray probably would if I asked him. However, getting a car now wasn’t even a possibility. Even if I did get one, I wasn’t sure my aunt or uncle would even let me drive it after what happened to Wade. “You’ve got to do it, Richie,” pleaded Gabe. “We’ve talked about this. I don’t want to drive it you don’t.” He started grinning. “Well, that was kind of a lie.” I looked disappointedly at him. “And who is going to teach me? You?” He sat up and smiled. “I can if you want, but that means I’ll be driving before you.” He looked over at Freddy. “You can teach him.” “You have your license?” Since I’d never seen him drive, I just assumed he didn’t know how. He smiled and nodded. “But you don’t drive.” “Mom lets me drive to the store once in a while,” he responded, “But that’s about all.” Gabe started to get excited. “Then you can teach Richie.” He made it sound like it was a done deal. Freddy shook his head skeptically. “I don’t know, Gabe. This plan won’t work.” “Why?” “Well for starters, I don’t have my own car.” He looked over at me. “And two, I’m not sure Mom will let me.” Gabe leaned toward him. “Maybe she can do it. She taught you, didn’t she?” Freddy got off the bed, walked over to the dresser, picked up the television remote and nervously twirled it in his hand. “Well she did, didn’t she?” Gabe asked again. “No.” Freddy looked nervously at me. “Richard did.” “Richie’s dad?” Anger swept over me, but I tried to hide my feelings from Gabe and Freddy. He had stayed out of my life, but he treated Freddy like a son. I got off the bed and walked across the hall to the restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I started taking deep breaths. “You can handle this, Richie.” I told myself as I looked at my image. “Don’t lose it now.” I took a few more deep breaths. “You’ll be all right,” I tried to convince myself. I then took another deep breath and walked back across the hall. Gabe and Freddy stopped whispering when I entered. “We’ll just wait a few months until I get my license,” Gabe suggested. “I’ll teach you to drive.” I tried to smile. “It’s okay, Gabe, really. I’ll just have you chauffeur me around when I have to go someplace.” “Bet!” responded Gabe as we fisted. I looked over at Freddy, but he still had a worried look on his face. ******** What started out as a birthday outing with Gabe and Freddy turned into a huge event. My birthday was on Friday; but since we had school, we decided to go on Saturday. When we went downstairs and asked my aunt if she could take us, Uncle Ray asked if there would be a problem if he went. “I haven’t been on a ride with Barbara in years,” my uncle said as he grabbed Aunt Barbara’s hand. “It will be like old times again.” Gabe looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders. How could I tell them no when we needed them to take us. When Freddy went home and asked Linda if he could go, Harley overheard him. He told Andrew. They got excited and convinced Freddy to let them go. However, that would mean another car would be needed. Linda volunteered to drive. Freddy said when she discussed it over dinner that night, my father told her he’d like to go with us. That also meant that Melinda would join us too. If that wasn’t bad enough, I happened to mention to Earl that I was turning sixteen in a week. He got excited and told me he was going to get me a gift. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted. I then accidentally mentioned where I was going to spend my birthday, and he asked if he could go. When he thought I was going to turn him down, he looked like he was going to cry- so I agreed. He’s been bugging me all week about it. You would think I asked him to marry me. The only problem was Freddy. Now that we were beginning to like each other, I was afraid Earl might mess that up. Freddy would be hurt if he thought Earl was interested in me, and I was afraid of hurting Earl’s feelings. For someone who wasn’t interested in finding another boyfriend, I sure had gotten myself into a mess. Then Gabe almost had a stroke when I told him I had invited Earl. “You did what!” he shrieked. I had to grab his mouth and hold it since we were eating lunch in the cafeteria. He looked angrily at me and whispered, “I swear to God, Richie, I’ll kill you if I have to end up riding rides with him all day.” It didn’t help that I started laughing hysterically. I could only imagine Earl trying to kiss him when they stopped at the top of a ride. So, what had started out as just the three of us going to the amusement park to celebrate a quiet birthday had grown to eleven. Gabe, Freddy, Earl and I would ride with Uncle Ray. Linda had a van, so everyone else would cram into it. ********** I went home after school with Freddy on Tuesday to help him with an assignment in history. He said he was almost finished with the make-up work, but that he would continue to need my help. I think it was just his way of spending time with me. Linda was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She smiled when she saw us. She walked over and hugged Freddy. “How was school?” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s school,” he replied as he took a cookie off a plate and nibbled on it. Linda then approached me. She started to hug me but stopped. “May I?” she asked as she held out her arms. I nodded and reluctantly said, “I guess.” She gave me a quick hug as I kept my arms to the side. She and Freddy continued to talk about school for a few more minutes. Linda gave me a glass of milk and a couple of cookies. I sat at the island and listened to them. It was much like the conversation Mom and I used to have when I me home- except Linda’s cookies tasted better. We heard the bus pull up outside, and a minute later Andrew and Harley came bounding into the kitchen. “Don’t run, Boys!” Linda admonished them as they dropped their schoolbooks on the floor and grabbed a handful of cookies. She told them to pick up their books and go to their room. “Can we go swimming, Mom?” Harley asked. She went to the window and looked out “Isn’t it a little cool to swim?” “The pool’s heated,” remarked Andrew excitedly. “Can we Linda, huh?” I was surprised to hear my brother call her Linda. Since she had moved in, I was afraid that she and dad would try to get Melinda and him call her Mom. When I asked about it later, Freddy told me that Andrew did call her mom once. She sat him down and explained that she wasn’t his mother, and that he had only one. She was watching down from heaven and she wouldn’t like it if he called her that. Freddy said Andrew started crying while she held him. Since then, he’s called her Linda. She looked out the window again. “All right, but only for a little while. I don’t want you getting sick.” “Yes!” Harley shouted as he grabbed his books and raced Andrew to their room. Freddy and I headed downstairs to work on his assignment. We had no sooner sat down before he leaned in and kissed me. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.” His face began to redden. “You have?” I leaned in and kissed him quickly. “Why?” I kissed him again, only a little longer. He moaned softly. I laughed when he dropped his hand to his lap and rearranged his growing cock. “We’d better stop,” he said sadly as he pulled his history book from his book bag. I admired him for not wanting to go too fast in our relationship. I was still trying to deal with Wade’s death. Every time Freddy and I kissed, it made me feel guilty. I think Freddy understood and he knew we had to take small steps. I was beginning to really like Freddy. I trusted him. Sometimes it seemed like he knew what I was thinking before I even knew myself. If I felt sad, he would just reach out and touch me. If we were alone, he would hold my hand. Other times he’d just look at me and smile and seeing the sparkle in his eye would make me smile. I felt I was starting to fall in love with him, but when I’d have those thoughts it would scare the hell out of me. I had lost two people I loved. I think I was afraid to love again. “Did you hear what I said?” I looked up and Freddy was staring at me. “What?” “I said I have something important to ask you.” He had a worried look on his face. “But I’m afraid you’ll say no. At least give it some thought.” “What are you talking about?” He sighed. “Okay, but just think about it.” “What!” I was beginning to get upset with the game he was playing. “I want to throw you a small birthday party Friday night.” “No!” I startled him when I shouted. “I told you I don’t want a party!” He looked at me pleadingly. “But it’s your sixteeth birthday, Richie. It doesn’t have to be a big party. Just some ice cream and cake. Mom said she would bake whatever your favorite cake is.” “You know I don’t want a party,” I insisted. He leaned in and kissed me. “Please?” he pleaded. “For me?” He kissed me again, only a little more passionately. “That’s not fair,” I said as I pulled away and looked into his smiling face. “I know,” he replied as he pulled me forward and kissed me again. “I don’t play fair,” he moaned into my mouth. “So?” he asked hopefully when he pulled away. “Or do I have to try and convince you more?” “I don’t...” he pressed his lips to mine before I had a chance to finish what I was going to say. His hand dropped to my lap and he gently squeezed my erection. I started giggling and removed his hand. “That’s really not fair,” I laughed. He smiled, “So is it working?” “You’re an idiot,” I laughed as I kissed him quickly. “Okay, but only because you convinced me.” “Yes!” he shouted as he kissed me again. “I promise, it won’t be anything big. Just Gabe and us.” I knew the us meant Dad and Linda too. “Of course, you can ask anyone else you want.” A slight frown appeared on his face. “You can ask Earl if you want.” I started laughing. “Is someone jealous?” I kidded him. I even pretended to toss my hair back like Earl. “What if I am?” he pouted. “He follows you around like a puppy dog. You even asked him to go with us Saturday.” I patted the side of my face. “I can’t help it if I’m irresistible.” He frowned, then grabbed his pen and started to work on his assignment. I could tell he was hurt. He thought that I was interested in Earl. I took the pen from his hand and laid it down. I then took his hand and held it. “There’s nothing going on with Earl. I promise. He just needs a friend, a close friend. We both understand that.” I started to grin. “Besides, I told him I was kind of seeing someone.” “Who?” Freddy pretended to be hurt, but I could tell he was holding back a smile. “This really great guy.” He leaned in and kissed me. “Do I know him?” “You may.” I kissed him back. “Does he love you?” I pulled away and stared into his eyes. Tears started to form in mine. He had finally said the word I was too afraid to admit to myself. “I can’t say it, Freddy.” He wiped away a tear that was falling down my cheek with his finger. “I know,” he said softly as he leaned in and kissed me gently. “I told you I can wait.” He pulled away and smiled. “Forever it you want me to.” I leaned in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. “It won’t take that long,” I mumbled into his neck.
  9. Ronyx

    Chapter 17

    The movie, The Laramie Project, is available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1qiTmF0p4A The play format is also available.
  10. Ronyx

    Chapter 17

    @droughtquake One thing that keeps Matthew's memory alive for the younger generation is the play, The Laramie Project. In the past two years, I've seen it performed at a major university and a large church with numerous young people attending.
  11. Ronyx

    Chapter 17

    @Wesley8890 Wesley be like:
  12. Ronyx

    Chapter 17

    Mr. Latham’s secretary brought in a chair for my father. He sat slightly behind between Earl and me. The secretary sat in a chair off to our left. Mr. Latham turned to her and asked, “Are you ready, Mrs. Davenport?” She positioned a steno pad on her lap and nodded. “All right then,” he said as he scanned the room. “Let’s get started.” He crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward in his desk. He first looked at me, then Earl, and finally Mrs. Livingstone. He then turned his attention back to Earl and me. “We are here for a preliminary hearing concerning a very serious incident that occurred his morning,” he stated as looked around the room. He then turned to Mrs. Livingstone. “It’s one that warrants immediate attention.” He looked at my father, Aunt Barbara, Uncle Ray and Earl’s mother. “I informed you on the phone what has been alleged.” He rose from his desk, came around and sat down atop it. He was directly in front of me. “The first matter I’m going to address is the boys’ behavior.” My heart started pounding when he peered down at us. “I’ve spoken to several students who witnessed the incident.” He looked over at Mrs. Livingstone and then back at us. “I’m dismissing the disruptive behavior complaint.” I let out a sigh of relief. “There doesn’t seem to have been any evidence of that by what other students have said.” My hands started to tremble when he looked down at us again. “But, I cannot, and will not, tolerate students speaking disrespectfully to a member of my staff. If you feel that a teacher is wrong, then you can come see me. Calling a teacher out of her name will not be tolerated.” I jumped to my feet and stood defiantly before him. “But she can call me a faggot and get away with it?” Earl stood beside me. “Yeah, Mr. Latham!” he loudly exclaimed. He looked over at Mrs. Livingstone. “We’re going to get in trouble, and she’s not?” My father stepped forward and put his hands on our shoulders. “Sit down, Boys,” he said softly but sternly. “Let Mr. Latham finish.” Earl and I looked at each other and then sat down. My father stood between us and kept his hands on our shoulders. The principal nodded at my father and then proceeded. “Normally, I would suspend a student for five days for such behavior.” I started to jump back up, but my father pushed me gently back into my seat. “But under the circumstances, I am going to issue a three-day in-school suspension.” “What!” I looked over as Earl started to get to his feet, but my father pressed down on his shoulder. Mr. Latham looked back down at us. “I know you don’t understand, but I must be sure that all the school’s policies are strictly enforced.” “That’s not fair,” Earl muttered. Mr. Latham got up and returned to his seat. He thumbed through some papers. The room was deadly quiet. It was as if everyone were holding their breath. Finally, he looked up. “Now as to the other matter.” He put his hands to his chin as if in prayer as he looked over at Mrs. Livingstone. “Young people are impulsive.” He looked at Earl and me. “They sometimes say what is on their minds, and then they regret it later. They also learn too late that their actions have consequences.” He turned back to Mrs. Livingstone. “However, adults, particularly those in positions of authority, should weigh their actions carefully before acting.” My father put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. Mr. Latham looked around the room. “I think we all know what happened in that room today.” He turned and glared at Mrs. Livingstone. “A member of my staff said something that was hateful and demeaning to a student. She called Richie a name that I can’t even bring myself to say.” I looked over, and she had her head down as he spoke. Mr. Latham was visibly upset. He sat back and took a deep breath before continuing. He then leaned forward and looked at me. “Do you have anything you want to say, Richie?” I know the expression on my face must have looked like a deer in the headlights. My face began to redden as everyone looked at me. My father gently squeezed my shoulder. “No..., Sir,” I managed to stammer out. He turned to Earl and asked if he would like to speak. Earl seemed as nervous as I was. He shook his head. I noticed my father squeeze his shoulder like he had mine. “I have something to say.” Earl’s mother stood up and faced everyone. Tears were shining in her eyes. “Mother, don’t!” Earl tried to pull her back to her seat, but she pushed his hand away. “Let me talk, Baby,” she cried. “I think this woman,” she pointed to Mrs. Livingstone, “needs to hear this.” “As the mother of a gay child,” she spoke as tears started to fall down her face, “I can’t begin count the heartaches I’ve endured over the years.” She turned and looked around the room. “How can you hold your son and tell him everything is all right when he comes home from school crying because the other children were teasing him because he’s different than them.” Earl buried his head in his hands and started weeping loudly. I scooted my chair over to him and put my arm around his back. “How do you try to convince him that he’s going to lead a happy, normal life when you can’t even convince yourself that he ever will?” I could hear sniffling coming from all around the room. “How do you hold a precious boy in your arms and tell him it’s okay to be gay, when...” she walked over and stood before Mrs. Livingstone, “when others call him a faggot!” Her words were filled with years of anger. She turned to Mr. Latham. “Maybe you can’t say it, but my son has been hearing those words all his life.” She sat down and sobbed loudly. Earl’s head dropped into her lap as she held him. By now I was crying, as was everyone else in the room- except Mrs. Livingstone. She sat with a cold expression on her face. Mr. Latham took a box of tissue from his desk and handed it to my uncle. It was then passed around the room as people dried the tears from their eyes. “May I say something?” I was startled when my father spoke behind me. “Of course, Detective Ferguson,” responded Mr. Latham. My father patted my shoulder and then moved around and sat down on the edge of Latham’s desk. He looked around the room before speaking. “I’ve been a detective for almost twenty years. In those twenty years, I’ve investigated many crime scenes.” I held my head down as he spoke. I knew if I looked up, I would burst into tears. “I’ve investigated automobile accidents, murders, suicides and robberies,” he said. He paused for a second before continuing. “But the hardest to investigate are the hate crimes. The hateful, senseless, irrational actions that people display toward others.” He looked at Mrs. Livingstone, but she had her head down and refused to look at him. “I’ve been called to scenes where derogatory words were spray painted on a black family’s garage. Or someone hung a black cat on their porch as a warning that they weren’t wanted in the neighborhood.” He sighed deeply before continuing. “I’ve been to a crime scene where a young man was beaten outside a gay bar and left to die in a dark alley.” His voice trembled with emotion. “He had the word ‘fag’ etched into his chest with a switchblade.” I looked up briefly and saw tears in his eyes. I quickly looked away. “I attended a Hate Crimes Conference in Dallas a few years ago. At the beginning of the conference they showed pictures from the crime scene of Matthew Shepard on a giant television screen. I’ve investigated hundreds of crime scenes without emotion. I, as well as others in the room that day, broke down and cried.” He walked over and stood before Mrs. Livingstone. “It was just a word to you. However, it was filled with hate. It cut into these boys’ hearts just like that knife cut into that boy’s chest in that dark, cold alley.” He walked slowly and stood behind me. He put his hand my shoulder and squeezed it. “Sorry, Son,” he muttered softly. I lifted my sleeve and wiped the tears from my eyes. Earl took my hand and held it. Again, the room was deadly silent. Everyone looked at Mr. Latham while he nervously pushed some papers around on his desk. He looked up. “Does anyone else have anything they’d like to add?” He turned to Mrs. Livingstone. “Would you like to say anything in your defense?” She shook her head and looked down. Then, suddenly, she cleared her throat and looked menacingly at me and Earl. My father stepped nearer. She finally stood and pointed her thin, narrow finger at us. “Look at them!” she spat angrily. “You act like they are the hurt ones. But... but... they are nothing but perverts!” There was a collective gasp in the room. “Perverts!” She spat again. “Mrs. Livingstone!” Mr. Latham shouted as he got up from his desk. The man in the business suit grabbed her arm, but she pulled away. “My little nephew was ten when one of their kind molested him in a playground.” She started to cry as she looked down at Earl’s mother. “How do you explain that to a little boy?” She pointed her finger at us again. “All you perverts should die and go to hell!” With a jerk, the man in the business suit pulled her screaming from the room. “Die!” Everyone in the room was stunned. We couldn’t believe what we had just witnessed. I don’t know why, but I felt sorry for her. She must have been carrying a lot of hatred around inside her for a long time. I, if anyone, knew what that felt like. “I’m very sorry,” apologized Mr. Latham. “I didn’t know she would react like that.” He looked worriedly at Earl and me. “Are you boys all right?” We looked at each other and then nodded. He sat back and looked at the people in the room. “I’m very sorry this incident occurred. Believe me when I tell you it is not the typical behavior of the staff here.” I looked at Earl when he made a clearing sound with his throat. Mr. Latham glanced at him quickly before continuing. “This matter will be handled in a professional manner. However, I can assure you that as long as I am principal, Mrs. Livingstone will not teach here or at any other school.” He stood, walked over and shook Earl and my hands. “Sorry, Boys.” He then went around the room and shook hands with the others present. Earl and I slowly made our way out the door. “Wow!” Earl exclaimed as we stepped into the hall. “That was something. Mrs. Livingstone went crazy in there.” “Yeah,” I responded. “Your Dad said some cool things, though,” he remarked. “You’re pretty lucky. My old man split a long time ago.” I started to say, “So did mine,” but I didn’t. I simply nodded my head. Our eyes met and he grinned mischievously. “So,” he smiled, “since we’ve been through so much, maybe we should go out sometime and talk about it.” “Nice try,” I smiled. “But, um… I may be seeing someone.” I wasn’t sure if Freddy and my friendship would deepen, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Earl’s shoulders drooped, and I thought he was going to cry. “Again? Well, I thought you were single.” “I am,” but quickly added, “I might be. I’m not sure yet.” “Who is it?” “I don’t want to say,” I replied. “At least until I’m sure.” He moved forward and gave me a hug. “Well, if it doesn’t work out, I’m always here for you, Richie.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied. He looked at me mischievously again. “Can I at least kiss you?” My eyes widened. He started giggling. “I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to kiss Richie Ferguson.” I looked nervously around. “You mean here?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Sure, why not. No one’s around.” Just then, the office door opened, and my aunt and uncle came out. “Damn!” he hissed. “So, can I? Please.” I looked over and saw people were coming out of Mr. Latham’s office. My father had just exited the room. “Okay,” I said hurriedly. “But not here.” Earl’s eyes lit up. “Really?” I nodded my head. “When?” “I don’t know, but sometime soon,” I replied. “Just don’t expect it to be too much.” “I don’t care,” he said dreamily. “Promise?” I crossed my heart. “Yeah,” I said as others approached. “Promise.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before joining his mother as she talked to Mr. Latham. My father was the first to approach me. “Are you all right, Son?” He leaned forward to hug me, hesitated, and then took a step back. “I’m fine,” I replied. I thought about reaching out for him, but I didn’t. Aunt Barbara walked up and said, “Let’s go home.” At first, I started to follow Dad, but then I realized that she was heading in the opposite direction. I turned and followed her and Uncle Ray out of the building. ******** “No shit!” Gabe was sitting cross-legged on my bed. I had been telling him about the meeting in Mr. Latham’s office. “She really called you guys perverts?” “Yeah,” I said. A grin appeared on his face. “I’ve known it for years. How did she find out?” I tried not to laugh, but Gabe was making a stupid face at me. “It’s not funny.” He stopped laughing. “I know, Richie,” he replied, “but this shit is too unbelievable. I can’t believe a teacher feels like that.” “I know,” I said. “She must have been going around for years giving any student she thought was gay a hard time.” “I had her last year for lit,” he replied. “I always thought she was cool.” “You’re straight,” I reminded him. “Yeah.” He started to say something but my cell phone rang. I got off the bed and picked it up off the desk. When I saw who it was, I threw it on the bed without answering it and then sat back down. Gabe looked at the name on my caller ID and laughed. “You’re not going to answer it?” I shook my head. He picked it up and opened it before I could stop him. “Hey, Fucker!” he giggled into the phone. I watched as his face began to turn red. “No, Sir,” he replied nervously. “This isn’t Richie.” He looked at me and grimaced. “Gabe, Sir.” He paused again. “Yes, Sir.” He then handed me the phone. I refused to take it, but he thrust it in my hand. “Hi, Dad.” Gabe was looking at me excitedly. “What’s he want?” he mouthed. I shrugged my shoulders. I listened for a minute. “Yes, Sir.” I looked over at Gabe and frowned. “But, Dad,” I started to protest but he had hung up. “Why didn’t you warn me, Richie?” He covered his hands with his face. “I called your Dad a fucker!” I started laughing. “It’s not like I haven’t called him that before. Why do you think he’s in my contacts with that name?” “He’s going to hate me!” he moaned. “I’ll never be able to face him again.” Again, I tried to assure him that it was probably all right. Dad had actually been laughing when I answered the phone, but I didn’t tell Gabe that. I thought it would be fun to watch him worry about it. Gabe scooted nearer to me. “What did he want?” “He’s taking me to dinner.” “What!” “He says he wants to take me to dinner,” I informed him. “I have to be ready in a half hour.” “Where are you going?” “I don’t know,” I said as I got off the bed and walked over to the closet. I pulled back some clothes and took out a grey suit. “What are you doing?” Gabe had a puzzled look on his face. “I thought you were going to dinner.” I shrugged my shoulders. “We are. He told me to dress up.” “Damn,” Gabe replied as I ushered him from the room so I could get ready. All my father had said was that he wanted to take me to dinner. I was to be ready in a half hour and to wear a suit. He hung up before I had a chance to protest. A half hour later, I heard the doorbell ring. I took a final look at myself in the mirror and nervously made my way downstairs. ********* I looked around his black sedan when I got in. I had never ridden in it before. When he left home, he was driving a Dodge van. I was fascinated by his built in GPS system. It was the first time I had ever seen one. We rode in silence. Occasionally, he would look over at me and smile, but he didn’t say anything. I was relieved when we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. It was a big white building with a canopy over the front door. A valet ran out and took the keys from my father. He put his hand on my back as we walked up the stairs. “Good evening, Detective Ferguson,” the lady standing behind a podium sang out. “We have a table for two reserved for you. Follow me.” Again, my father put his hand on my back as we followed her to a table toward the back. She turned and said, “Is this all right, Sir?” My father nodded, and she walked away. I sat down and looked around. The place was elegant. There were chandeliers hanging from the ceilings. The tables were ornate with red tablecloths and a large floral centerpiece. I thought that it must be costing my father a fortune for us to eat here. A young waiter walked up and stood over the table. He was attractive. He looked Hispanic and spoke with a heavy Spanish accent. “May I get you something to drink?” he asked politely. “I’ll have a bourbon and water,” my father replied. The waiter then looked at me. I grinned and said, “I’ll have the same.” He looked down and smiled. “A bourbon and water and a Coke. I’ll be right back.” I heard my father snicker as he walked away. My eyes widened as I read the menu. I couldn’t believe the prices. A steak cost over $40, and lobster was $60. The waiter returned with our drinks and asked my father if we were ready to order. “I’ll have the porter house steak, medium.” The waiter nodded and turned to me. “And you, Sir?” I looked questioningly at my father. I was used to ordering a Big Mac at McDonald’s. I wasn’t sure what I should have. “How does a steak sound, Son?” I shrugged my shoulders. My father quickly scanned the menu and then looked up at the waiter. “Let’s try the rib eye, medium.” He looked over at me. I again shrugged my shoulders. “Very good, Sir.” The waiter sang out. “Would you like an appetizer while you are waiting?” My father scanned the menu. “Shrimp cocktail.” “Excellent choice, Sir.” The waiter closed his pad and scurried off. My father sat back and smiled. “Well,” he said. “What do you think?” “It’s... it’s...” I looked around the room. “It’s not McDonald’s.” He started laughing. His mood quickly changed. “You look nice tonight, Richard.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, Richie. You’re growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday you were a little boy sitting in my lap.” I looked down and started playing with my napkin. I was beginning to understand why he brought me here. “Richie?” I looked up and met his eyes. “I’m sorry, Son.” Tears were starting to form in his eyes. I looked down and continued to twist my napkin. “It’s okay,” I mumbled. I now understood his plan. He got me dressed up in a public place so that I couldn’t yell and scream at him. I was trapped. I couldn’t get up and walk out. I had to listen to him. “No, it isn’t, Richie.” His voice was filled with emotion. “I should have been there for you, Andrew and Melinda. Believe me when I tell you I wanted to.” I looked up at him. “Then why didn’t you?” I was trying hard not to cry. Several people around us were beginning to notice the emotional state we were in. Just then the waiter walked up with a large glass containing jumbo shrimp hanging from the side. The glass contained some red sauce. “Your shrimp cocktail.” He gave us a puzzled look and then walked away. My father took a shrimp, dipped it in the sauce and took a bite. He held it up to me. “This is good, Richie. Try one.” I shook my head. “I’d rather not.” He leaned toward me and spoke softly. “Your mother was a wonderful woman.” His voice was quivering and emotional. “There was a time we were deeply in love. But as often happens in a marriage, we started to drift apart. We tried to make it work for you, Andrew and Melinda, but we couldn’t. When I left, there were a lot of hard feelings.” “But she was sick,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes. “She wasn’t when I left,” he replied. “And when she became sick with cancer, I asked her if I could return to help. She refused.” I looked into his eyes. “What about Linda?” “I wasn’t with her when I left your mother,” he explained. “She wasn’t the reason I left home.” He sat back and sighed. “If I had to do it over again, I would have been more forceful with your mother. I should have been there.” I wiped tears from my eyes with the napkin. If we had been at home I probably would have been standing and yelling at him. I would have unleashed the years of hurt that was trapped inside me. Instead, I let silent tears flow. I looked at him through tearful eyes. “But you hit me.” He cupped his hand over his mouth as more tears appeared in his eyes. “You have no idea how bad I feel about that.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. “You hated me, and I knew it. I couldn’t deal with it, so I acted defensively.” “But...’ He raised his hand to stop me. “I know,” he said tearfully. “For a while, I forgot you were my son.” He reached for my hand and this time I let him touch it. “I’m sorry, Son.” I finally asked him the question that had been plaguing me for weeks. “Why did you put me out of the house?” “I didn’t,” he responded. “I set you free.” I gave him a puzzled look. “Set me free?” “Yes, Son,” he replied. “There’s a saying that if you love something, you set it free.” He lifted his napkin and wiped tears from his eyes. He then looked sadly over at me. “I just hoped that you would return home someday.” A man in a tuxedo walked up to our table. “Is everything all right, Sir?” My father nodded and waved him off. “Richie?” I looked up. “I know I’ll never have your love again. I doubt if I deserve it.” He wiped tears again with his napkin. “I just don’t want you to spend the rest of your life hating me. Perhaps someday, we can find a middle ground.” I nodded and stared down at the red tablecloth. I pushed myself away from the table. “Excuse me,” I said as I rose to my feet. “I have to go to the bathroom.” Several people gave me puzzled looks when I walked down the aisle. I know they wondered why I was crying. I went into the restroom and leaned against the wall. I could see myself in the mirror. I looked remarkably like my father. Even though my hair was still short, my facial features resembled his. I was his son. I couldn’t deny that. I walked over and splashed water on my face. I took some paper towels and dried myself. When I looked back in the mirror, again I saw him. I began to wonder if I was more like him than just looks alone. A man entered and looked over at me before stepping up to the urinal. I turned and left. As I headed out, I passed the entrance. The woman who had taken us to our seats smiled at me as I stopped and stared out the door. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t. As hard as it must have been for him to do it, he took the first step in trying to rebuild our relationship. I just wasn’t sure if it was in my heart to forgive him, though. People stared at me as I walked toward the back of the restaurant where he was sitting. He smiled at me as I sat down. “I thought you might leave,” he said. I looked at him and forced a smile. “I considered it.” “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did,” he replied, “but I’m glad you came back.” Just then the waiter came up to our table carrying a tray with our steaks. We ate in a comfortable silence.
  13. Ronyx

    Chapter 16

    @droughtquake It took me a while to understand what you were talking about. Thank goodness for Google. I'm sure a few younger readers are scratching their heads.
  14. Ronyx

    Chapter 16

    We stood facing each other. I had hoped that I wouldn’t run in to him. And by the look on his face, I don’t think he was aware I was in the house. Freddy’s mother rushed from the kitchen and grabbed me by my arm. “This way, Richie,” she insisted nervously as she pulled me into the dining room. Andrew, Harley and Melissa were already seated. Freddy walked over and sat down beside Andrew. “Move over a seat, Dear,” she instructed Freddy. She then had me sit between Andrew and Freddy. The seats had been situated tightly together. Andrew was practically sitting in my lap, and my right leg was pressed firmly against Freddy’s. He walked in and took a seat. He glanced quickly at me before asking Linda, “Is there anything I can do to help?” She came hurriedly from the kitchen carrying a large bowl of spaghetti. She placed it in the center of the table. She looked nervously around the table before disappearing again. Seconds later, she returned with a plate of garlic bread. She sat down, folded her hands and said to Harley, “You say grace.” I bowed my head while Harley gave thanks for the spaghetti because it was his favorite dish. Andrew started snickering to my left. “And thank you Jesus, for letting Richie eat with us tonight. Just don’t let him eat too much spaghetti.” Andrew giggled again as Linda lightly smacked Harley’s hand. “Amen.” Everyone took a heaping portion of the spaghetti. It looked delicious. Linda kept looking nervously at me. I think she was afraid I would get into an argument with him as I had in the past. “Did you boys work on Freddy’s history assignment?” She asked as she attempted to ease the tension at the table. “Yes, Ma’am,” Freddy replied. “We got quite a bit done. Richie’s pretty smart.” My Dad glanced quickly over at us. “You’re smart too, Freddy,” she assured him. “Yeah,” giggled Harley. “You just suck at hiskory.” “It’s history, Dear,” she corrected him. “And your brother doesn’t suck.” She looked quickly at Freddy and exclaimed, “Oh, My!” I looked over as his face turned scarlet red. My father was trying to stifle a laugh. “Yes, well,” he said quickly. “Perhaps we should change the subject.” He turned to me. “Richard,” he asked, “How are you doing in school?” I tried to ignore him by reaching for a piece of garlic bread, but Freddy elbowed me in my side. “Fine, Sir,” I replied without looking at him. Freddy dropped his hand from the side of the table, took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m learning to add!” Harley announced excitedly. “Listen, 3 plus 3 is 6.” The rest of the dinner conversation involved Andrew quizzing Harley on his math skills. I thought he did really well for his age. Since Linda did the cooking, it was customary for the children to clean the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Freddy told the younger children they didn’t have to help. They hurried from the room before he changed his mind. Linda and my father disappeared to their bedroom, leaving Freddy and me alone. “Are you all right?” Freddy asked me when we took a load of dishes into the kitchen. “Yeah,” I started laughing. “Dad and I were actually in the same room without getting into a fight.” “I know,” he sighed. “I think Mom and I were worried the entire time.” He nudged me in my side. “You handled it really well.” We walked back into the dining room and returned with more dishes. “Just don’t get used to it,” I replied. “I don’t plan on making it a habit of eating here.” His smile turned quickly to a sad expression. “Okay,” he said. “I was hoping we could spend more time together.” “We can,” I assured him. “But maybe at my house, or even in school.” He remained quiet as we continued to clean up. As we were standing in front of the dishwasher, I nudged him in his side. I started giggling. “So, you don’t suck?” He put his hands to his face and moaned. “I can’t believe Mom said that. I was so embarrassed.” I smiled at him. “I thought it was cute the way you turned so red.” He elbowed me in my side. “Shut up.” I continued to tease him. “You never did answer my question,” I giggled. “Do you?” He glanced down quickly at my crotch. “If you’re good, you may find out.” I started laughing and replied, “If you’re bad, you may.” His face reddened again. I leaned in and quickly kissed him. We turned when we heard a noise behind us. “Oh!” His mother exclaimed. “Excuse me.” She turned and hurried from the kitchen. ******** My aunt and uncle were sitting in the family room when I got home. I entered and plopped down on the sofa beside my aunt, toed off my shoes and rested them on the coffee table. She quickly hit my leg. “Were you raised in a barn?” she asked. I started grunting like a pig. She and my uncle burst out laughing. “Someone is in a good mood,” she smiled. I guess it had been a long time since they had seen me laugh. “Did you have fun last night at Gabe’s?” “Yeah,” I replied, “I did.” I sat and watched television with them for a while. It was some old action movie I had never seen before. The special effects sucked. I couldn’t believe that people used to watch things like that. After a while, I went to my bedroom to finish an assignment in literature that was due on Monday. I lay on the bed and opened my lit book to chapter six of Beowulf. My eyes instantly closed, and I fell asleep. I must have slept for about an hour when I felt a tickle on my nose. I tried to ignore it, but it continued. When I raised my hand to scratch it, I felt foam on my face. I opened my eyes when I heard Gabe roaring with laughter. Uncle Ray was standing behind him holding a can of shaving cream. “What the hell!” I yelled as I looked at the white foam covering my right hand. I then lifted the hand to my head and smeared more cream onto my face. Uncle Ray left the room laughing so hard tears were flowing down his cheeks. Gabe was standing over me laughing uncontrollably. I jumped from the bed and lunged at him. We both tumbled to the ground as I attempted to smear what remained of the shaving cream into his face. We wrestled on the ground for a few minutes before stopping. He scooted back and rested against the bed while he tried to catch his breath. I got up, went into the bathroom and removed the cream with a towel. He was still laughing when I returned. “That was so fucking funny!” he laughed. “I got to hand it to your uncle, I would never have thought of doing something like that.” “This was his idea?” “Yeah,” Gabe continued to laugh. “He’s a pretty cool guy.” I looked over and scowled. “You know I’m going to get even with you someday?” “Ohhhh!” He pretended to shiver. “I’m so scared.” I threw the towel I was holding at him. I sat down on the bed beside him. “What did your Dad say to you after we left?” I knew Mr. Dyson well enough to know that he would not forget about us streaking. I figured I would probably be helping Gabe clean out the attic next weekend or something. Gabe frowned. “I can’t see Sasha next weekend,” he announced. “He said he won’t take me. I can’t wait until I turn sixteen so I can get my license.” “What about your mom?” “She’s mad at us too.” “Us!” “Yeah,” he replied. “It was your idea.” “My idea!” I screamed. “You’re the one who talked me and Freddy into doing it with you. You were naked before we even climbed down from the tree house.” “For the record,” he grinned. “It was your idea. I just told them I did it because you talked me into it.” I sighed and sat back on the bed. It was no use to even argue with Gabe. He turned to me. “So, what about you and Freddy?” “What about us?” I was afraid to say anything to him because I didn’t want to out Freddy. Gabe raised his eyebrows. “Come on, Richie,” he asked, “Do you like, like him?” He giggled when he saw my face begin to redden. “You do, don’t you?” “Gabe,” I insisted. “I really can’t say anything.” “Why?” he asked. “It’s okay. I know he’s gay.” “You do?” “Yeah,” he grinned. “I kind of figured it out because of the way he was always looking at you. Why do you think I got you guys naked last night?” “You had us streak so we could get together?” "Yeah!” His face beamed with excitement. “Did it work? I saw how you guys were sleeping when you woke up this morning.” My eyes narrowed. “You planned this whole weekend, didn’t you?” “Yeah, sure,” he giggled. “Did it work?” “What about Cindi?” I couldn’t figure out why he had tried to get Freddy to go out on a date with her if he knew Freddy was gay. “Oh, that,” he replied. “I didn’t plan that, but it worked out pretty good. Did it make you jealous when he was with her?” “What!” “It did, didn’t it?” he asked excitedly. “I knew it!” I hit him in his arm. “You, Fucker.” I acted like I was mad, but I couldn’t stop grinning. “So, did you guys like do it when you went back to your house?” He made a gesture with his fingers. “No!” I shouted. “We didn’t,” I imitated his gesture, “do it!” “Damn!” he replied disappointedly. His eyes brightened up. “Did you at least kiss him?” He started laughing when my face reddened. “You did!” “Shut up, Fucker,” I said as I elbowed him in his side. “Umpph,” he moaned. “I find you a boyfriend and this is the thanks I get?” “You didn’t find me a boyfriend,” I insisted. “So, when did you kiss him?” He sat up and waited for me to reply. I looked into his eager face and smiled. “Why are you so interested this?” His face softened. “I just want to see you happy, Richie.” Tears started to form in his eyes. “You’ve been through so much shit you deserve to be happy.” I leaned in and gave him a hug. We embraced for about ten seconds before he started to giggle. He pulled away, grinned at me and asked, “You’re not going to kiss me, are you?” “You should be so lucky,” I laughed. I then lifted my leg and kneed him in his nuts. “Ouch!” He screamed as he curled into a ball and moaned. “That will teach you to play matchmaker,” I laughed. He pulled me down on the bed and we wrestled around for several minutes before Aunt Barbara came to the door and told us to quit acting like children. ******** I stood nervously outside the large doors of the school waiting for Freddy to arrive. Gabe had even noticed I that I was edgy, but I used the excuse that I was worried about a test in biology. Actually, I had been nervous since his mother had seen us kissing in the kitchen. She was still in her room when I left. Freddy said he would ask her to take me home, but I thought it might be a little awkward. She knew he was gay. She also knew I was gay. So that wasn’t what worried me. For some reason I felt we had committed incest. Even though we weren’t close, he was like a big brother to Andrew. I guess that kind of made him my big brother. There was also the possibility that we could live in the same house someday, although I had decided I would never again live under the same roof as my father. I just needed to see Freddy and see if he was feeling like I was. I certainly wasn’t interested in becoming involved in another relationship. I still thought about Wade. There wasn’t an hour that would go by that I didn’t picture his face. We had only had sex a few times, but I relived those few times often. It wasn’t the kind of thoughts that I would have late at night in bed, get an erection, and then masturbate. They were more like… I don’t know how to describe them. Maybe warm feelings would come closest to how I felt. I would picture his mischievous grin just before he did something funny, and I would find myself smiling. Then I would have to fight back tears knowing I would never see that smile again. So, no. I wasn’t ready for anyone to love me; at least not yet. Not until Wade’s smiling face began to fade from my memory. Uncle Ray told me the hurt would go away, and then I would just have memories. I just didn’t know when that day would come. Maybe never. Freddy smiled when he saw me standing on the steps. He pushed his book bag back onto his shoulder as he approached. “Hey, you,” he said cheerfully. “Waiting on me?” I grabbed his arm and squeezed it. “About yesterday,” I said, “I’m really, really sorry. I should never have...” I looked around to see if anyone was nearby. “I should never have kissed you,” I whispered. His brown eyes lit up as a big grin appeared on his face. “It’s okay, Richie,” he assured me. “I liked it.” “But your mom,” I said a little louder before lowering my voice. “She saw us!” “If it bothered her,” he replied, “she didn’t say anything this morning.” “But, but…” I stammered, “We’re practically brothers.” He started laughing as he grabbed my arm and led me up the stairs. “Let’s just think of each other as kissing cousins.” “Did she tell Dad?” He seemed to have accepted what happened between Wade and me, but I wasn’t sure he could accept me doing something with Freddy. Now that we were becoming friends, I didn’t want him to persuade Linda not to let us see each other. Freddy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. He just comes to the table, drinks coffee and reads the newspaper in the morning. He may say something later.” The warning bell rang for first period and he headed to class. “See you at lunch.” He gave me a wave and then ran off to class. I made it to Mrs. Livingstone’s class just as the bell rang. As I sat down, Earl Buckman came into the room and took a seat beside me. He looked over and smiled as he opened his book bag and took out a notebook. I was almost asleep as Mrs. Livingstone lectured from the front of the class. Most of the class had their heads down on their desk. At least I was able to sit up and stare blankly toward the front. If I had completed all her assignments, I would also have been sleeping like everyone else. “Pssst!” Earl was trying to get my attention. I looked over and he handed me a small piece of paper. It had been folded several times. I opened it and then blushed. When I looked back at him, he grinned. I looked down at the words he had written with a red pen. 'I really think your hot, Richie. I’m waiting for you to call me.' I folded the paper back and looked over at him. He was smiling at me. “So?” he mouthed. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t tell him I really wasn’t interested. I knew I should never have told him I would consider it. A boy like Earl seizes on any opportunity he thinks opens up to him. By the look on his face, he was probably already considering me as a boyfriend. “Earl Buckman?” I looked quickly toward the front of the room. Mrs. Livingstone had stepped away from writing on the blackboard and was walking down the aisle toward us. Students started raising their heads from their desks to see what was happening. Earl’s face was turning red from embarrassment. I lowered my head so she wouldn’t shout at me. “Would you like to share with the class what you and Richie have to say?” It was now my turn to become embarrassed. Several students around us started sniggering. “He probably wants Ferguson to fuck him,” I heard one student mumble off to my left. “No, Ma’am,” Earl said defiantly. “Besides,” he looked around the room. “Everyone in here is sleeping. Why are you picking on us?” She walked over and peered down at him. “Because your behavior is disruptive.” Earl jumped to his feet. I reached out for his arm, but he pulled away. “Disruptive! You crazy bitch!” Several students let out a gasp. “So it’s all right for us to sleep in your class, but if we do manage to stay awake during one of your boring lectures, then we’re disruptive?” Her hands were shaking as she pointed to the door. “Get out!” Earl looked angrily at her as he stuffed his notebook into his book bag. “I’ll be glad to leave,” he responded angrily as he headed for the door. Several students started laughing. Before leaving, he turned and flipped them off. Mrs. Livingstone then looked down at me. “Richie, you have two nights of detention.” It was now my turn to spring to my feet. “What?” I shouted. “Why? I didn’t do anything!” She held up three fingers. “Three nights of detention.” Again, I heard laughter coming from around the room. Before I knew what I had said, I heard the word, “Bitch,” come out my mouth. Her eyes narrowed in anger. “Get out!” She screamed. “Get your faggot ass out of my classroom!” A surprised look appeared on her face when she finished uttering the words. The room became deadly silent as everyone waited to see how I would react. “Fine,” I said as I picked up my books off the desk. “I’ll leave your classroom.” I then held my head high and paraded from the room. I could hear subdued talking as I closed the door. Earl was leaning against the wall across the hall when I left. Tears were in his eyes. I walked over and stood beside him. “Did she throw you out too?” I nodded. “She called me a faggot.” His eyes widened. Suddenly, anger consumed me. I looked into Earl’s eyes and realized he had put up with this type of discrimination all his life. I had watched other students jeer and heckle him since elementary school, and I had stood by and said nothing. Until I had been outed by Stephen, I was reluctant to talk to Earl in school for fear other students would think I was gay. Now I had received the worst form of discrimination- from someone I had formerly respected. If someone like a teacher could harbor such bigotry and hatred, then how deep could it be for others? “She didn’t?” Earl asked incredulously. “She really called you a fag?” “Faggot,” I said. “She told me to get my faggot ass out of her room.” “Damn,” he muttered. “What are we going to do?” “We?” Earl was looking expectantly at me. “Sure, Richie!” he said excitedly. “We can’t let her get away with saying something like that. She’s a teacher. Isn’t it against the law or something for her to say that?” I shrugged my shoulders. “She’s still a teacher. And we are gay. Who’s going to stand up for us?” “Yeah,” he said sadly. “I’ve been called a fag all my life. When I complained to the principal last year, he told me I should just ignore them.” Tears formed in his eyes. “Ignore them. He doesn’t have a fucking clue how much it hurts.” I put my hand on his back and patted him gently. I wanted to hug him, but I was afraid he might misread my intentions. “Fuck it!” I muttered as I put my arms around him and held him. He pulled away after a minute. “Thanks, Richie.” He wiped the tears away with his sleeve. “You’re a good friend.” We both froze when we heard Mr. Latham, the school principal, announce over the PA, “Would Earl Buckman and Richie Ferguson report to the office.” There was a short pause before he added, “Immediately.” The office secretary looked up when we entered the reception area. She motioned for us to have a seat while she rose and went into Mr. Latham’s office. She returned seconds later and told us he was waiting to see us. Mr. Latham is a rather large man. He briefly played football for the San Diego Chargers before he injured his knee during a playoff game. I had never dealt with him before, but I heard that he was very strict and intimidating. All he had to do was holler down a hallway before a bell would ring, and students would scatter to their classes. He was reading a paper when we entered his office. Without looking up, he motioned for us to have a seat in two chairs facing his desk. We sat down and waited timidly for him to speak. He sat back in his leather chair, folded his hands behind his head and stared at us. He looked over at Earl. “Earl,” he said. “I warned you the last time that if I saw you in my office again, I was going to suspend you.” “But, Mr. Latham,” Earl’s voice shook with emotion. “I didn’t do nothing. Honest.” “That’s what you always say, Earl.” He took the paper on his desk and held it up. “Disruptive talking in class.” He leaned toward Earl. “And you called Mrs. Livingstone a bitch?” Earl jumped to his feet. “I get in trouble for calling her a bitch,” he looked over and pointed at me, “but she can call Richie a faggot?” His face was red with anger as tears started to appear in his eyes. A surprised look appeared on Mr. Latham’s face. His eyes then narrowed in anger. “What did you say?” “Honest, Mr. Latham,” Earl pleaded, “She called him a faggot.” He looked at me. “Didn’t she?” I started to blush from embarrassment. Mr. Latham’s eyes were boring into me as he waited for me to speak. “Yes, Sir,” I answered timidly. “She told me to get my faggot ass out of her room.” I let out a deep sigh after the words were finally out. Mr. Latham leaned back in his chair. He didn’t say anything for a minute as he thought about what we had said. Finally, he leaned forward. “I want you boys to go to your second period class. My secretary will write you a pass.” “That’s it?” Earl asked. “You’re just going to send us to class?” “Earl,” Principal Latham spoke very professionally. “Matters like this have to be handled carefully.” Earl stood and spoke defiantly. “So, we just have to ignore it then, like you’ve told me before.” Latham spoke very calmly. “I’m not asking you to ignore it. This is a serious matter, and there are procedures that must be followed. Due process, if you will. You go to class and let me handle this.” We left his office, got a note from the secretary and headed to class. Once outside in the hall, Earl was still skeptical that anything was going to happen. “Bullshit!” he said angrily. “More fucking bullshit! He’s just going to let her call you a faggot in front of the class, and he’s not going to do anything about it. I just know it.” “I don’t know,” I replied. “We’ll just have to wait.” We hugged and then headed off to class. Gabe was standing at the cafeteria table waiting for me to enter. As soon as he saw me, he ran over to the door and grabbed my arm. “Is it true, Richie? Did Livingstone call you a fag?” “When did you hear that?” I asked as I headed for the cafeteria line. I noticed that many students stopped to stare at me. “It’s all over the school!” he informed me. “Everyone is talking about it. She really called you a fag in class?” “I guess,” I said as I made my way through the line. After purchasing a salad and iced tea, he followed me to my seat. Several guys were already seated. They nodded when I sat down. Gabe bit into his hamburger and asked, “So what happened? There are so many rumors going around.” Just then, Freddy walked over to the table. I scooted over and he sat down beside me. I looked at him and joked. “Better be careful. You’re sitting next to the school faggot.” “This ain’t funny, Richie!” Gabe admonished me. Freddy gave me a worried look. “She can’t say something like that to you.” I explained what happened between Earl and me, and then how Mrs. Livingstone had singled us out and said we were being disruptive. “Bitch!” Gabe said angrily when I was done. “I hope they fire her.” Freddy looked worriedly at me. He let his hand graze against mine. I could tell he wanted to hold it, but he was afraid what others might say. “Are you going to be all right?” “I think so,” I laughed nervously. “I’ve been through a lot worse.” We talked about the incident for the rest of the lunch period. When the bell rang, some students waited until I had walked past them before they left. I could sense that I was the topic of conversation. I looked for Earl on my way to class. I hadn’t seen him since we left Mr. Latham’s office. I was taking notes in my fifth period class when a student entered the room and approached my teacher. He motioned for me to come to his desk. He then informed me that I had been summoned by the office, and I was to report immediately. When I entered, Earl was sitting in a chair. I walked over and sat down beside him. “Do you know what’s going on?” “Nope,” he responded. “My teacher told me to report here.” “Mine, too,” I said. Just then, the office door opened, and Mrs. Livingstone entered. She seemed upset as she scowled down at us. She walked past without saying a word. A minute later, the school secretary came out of the principal’s office and motioned for us. When I entered, I quickly scanned the room. There were many people sitting around the office. I immediately noticed Aunt Barbara and Uncle Raymond sitting off to the left. They looked at me worriedly. “Come in, Boys,” Mr. Latham ordered. He pointed to two seats in the middle of the room. “Sit down.” A crying woman to the right of Earl rose and took him into her arms. I assumed it was probably his mother. They sat down and she continued to hold him. Mrs. Livingstone was sitting in a chair off to our right. There was a man dressed in a business suit seated beside her. I heard the door behind me open. Mr. Latham looked up and gestured with his hand. “Come in, Detective Ferguson.” My breathing stopped when I heard his name mentioned. Seconds later, he placed his hands gently on my shoulders. “Are you okay, Son?”
  15. Ronyx

    Chapter 15

    Gabe returned about fifteen minutes later. He lifted a large laundry basket up the ladder and heaved it into the tree house. Freddy and I had been talking quietly while he was gone. Most of it was about school and teachers. He was having trouble in an American history class. The teacher, Mr. Fletcher, was a real hard ass. Freddy explained that he had been trying to catch up on the assignments since he enrolled in our school. “He’s expecting too much,” Freddy complained. “Besides doing the regular daily class work, he expects me to turn in ten additional assignments each week. I’ve already taken two zeros because I didn’t get them completed on time.” I have Mr. Fletcher fourth period. Freddy has him sixth, so I knew what he was talking about. Fletch, as he is called by the students, doesn’t tolerate anyone who slacks off in class. I had been experiencing a similar problem since I had missed so much work the past couple of months, but I’ve been able to keep up with the work. “Why are you taking American history, anyway?” Since he was a year ahead of me, he should have already completed the class. “I kind of failed it last year,” he answered embarrassedly. “Kind of failed it?” “Yeah,” he explained. “I was in the middle of doing a major project when we moved. My computer was down for a couple of weeks, and I didn’t have a way to the library. The teacher wouldn’t extend the due date. It was a major part of our grade. So, I kind of failed the class,” he grinned. “Mom was furious when she found out. She says I should have told her I was having trouble.” “Maybe I can help you in Fletch’s class,” I volunteered. He replied excitedly, “God, Richie, that would be great! If I fail his class again, I’ll won’t be able graduate next year. I already have to make up two classes in summer school.” “You let me know what assignments you’re missing,” I said. “I may have them in my notebook. You can copy them.” He looked at me skeptically. “I don’t know, Richie. Isn’t that cheating?” “Do you want to have to make it up in summer school?” “Well, no.” “Then I’ll help you,” I insisted. “I’m almost caught up, so I have the time.” “Cool,” he responded. “When we leave tomorrow, you can go home with me.” He stopped suddenly. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “We’ll go to your house, and we can go over the assignments I’ve missed.” I felt saddened when he talked of home. I could tell by the expression on his face that he felt uncomfortable talking about it. My home was now his home. Even though I loved my aunt and uncle, it still didn’t feel like I could call it home. I felt more like I was living in foster care. “What’s all this?” I asked as Gabe pushed the basket toward me. I looked over at Freddy and shrugged my shoulders. “Things we’ll need tonight.” He entered the tree house and tried to catch his breath. “We didn’t use to need all this,” I reminded him. “We just came up here and slept.” “We’re not little anymore,” he said. He began to unload the contents of the basket onto the floor. “Blankets,” he said as he pulled out four and held them up. “Food!” he said excitedly as he took several bags of chips, cookies and a big jar of dill pickles. Gabe always had a thing for pickles. Almost every meal includes them. He pulled out a six pack of soda. He then lifted his laptop computer out of the basket. “Can’t forget this,” he announced. “I thought we were going to rough it tonight?” I asked. “Are you serious?” He gave me a questioning look. “We’re not kids any more. Besides, I have some email I have to send.” “Are you going to email Teresa and tell her about Sasha?” I teased. “Hell, no! We’re only dating. It’s not like we’re going steady or anything.” “She’s going around school telling everyone you are,” I informed him. “Who told you that?” “Everybody knows about it,” I said. I looked over at Freddy. “Isn’t that right?” He looked at Gabe and said, “I heard about it last week.” “What!” Gabe started to stand but hit his head on the roof of the tree house. Freddy and I started rolling on the floor laughing. “Give her another week and she’ll have you married.” “Shit!” he hissed. “I gotta stop seeing her. I like her and all, but I’m too young to get married!” Freddy and I looked at each other and broke out laughing again. Gabe unloaded several more things onto the floor. He then reached into the bottom of the basket and pulled out a six pack of beer. “Tada!” he said excitedly as he held it into the air. “Where did you get that?” Freddy asked. “Our parents will kill us if we drink.” He again looked over at me sadly. “Sorry, Rich. I keep forgetting.” “Listen, Freddy.” I looked over at Gabe. “You, too. I’m a big boy now. You don’t have to worry what you say around me.” I took a deep breath. “I know Mom’s dead, and I’m living with my aunt and uncle. I’ll let you know if you say something I don’t like, all right?” They both nodded. “Now let’s party!” Gabe shouted as he tried to stand but bumped his head on the ceiling again. Freddy and I roared with laughter. We had a good time. I felt better than I had in several years. It seemed like old times, but now Freddy was included in our banter. Several times Gabe started to talk about girls at school, but he stopped. I guess he figured neither of us was interested. After we each had drunk two beers and eaten most of the food, Gabe said excitedly, “Let’s streak the neighborhood!” “No!” I shouted. “Yes we can, Richie,” he laughed. “We used to do it all the time when we were little.” “You guys ran around naked?” Freddy almost shrieked out the words. “Yeah,” Gabe replied. “We were only about ten or eleven, but we had fun. Mrs. Stevenson down the street caught us one night when she was walking her dog.” He looked over at me and laughed. “Remember that, Richie?” I nodded. “She called our parents and we were grounded for a month.” “I think she enjoyed seeing us naked.” I lay back and laughed. Gabe lay beside me and put his head on my stomach. “Do you remember the look on her face when we turned and mooned her?” We roared with laughter. Freddy, too, started laughing. “You guys are idiots!” he laughed. “I’d like to have seen that.” Gabe sat up. “You can,” he said challenging. “Let’s go out in the yard and take off our clothes. This is going to be so cool. I may even call Greg.” Greg is one of our friends who used to get a kick out of watching us run bare-assed past his bedroom window. Gabe would always call him and give him an advanced notice when we were going to streak. “Don’t you dare!” I shouted. Gabe looked at me and grinned. “You game?” I looked over at Freddy. “I don’t know.” Gabe waited for Freddy to respond. When he shrugged his shoulders, Gabe jumped up, hitting his head on the ceiling. “Last one naked is a rotten egg!” he shouted as he removed his shirt and headed for the door. Gabe was already naked by the time we climbed down the ladder. Freddy’s eyes widened when he saw his sculpted body. Years of playing sports showed as he stood nude before us. He was holding his cell phone to his ear. “Greg?” he shouted into the phone. “Look out your window in five minutes.” He closed the phone and started laughing. He looked over at us and threw up his arms. “Come on, Guys. I feel a little funny here.” I looked over at Freddy. “You want to do this?” He grinned and started taking off his shirt. “Sure, why not.” Gabe started dancing around in the yard. We removed all our clothes except our underwear. I stood waiting until he removed his. Finally, he pulled them down and stood before us naked. I felt my cock start to harden looking at him. Even though I had seen his cock at the park, seeing him standing naked before me aroused me. He didn’t play sports, but his body was as firm and defined as Gabe’s. “Come on, Richie,” hollered Gabe. When he realized I was reluctant to pull down my underwear, he ran behind me and quickly pulled them down. Freddy’s eyes widened when he saw me standing with an erection. Gabe reached out and thumped it. I bent over and moaned. “We’re supposed to be streaking here, not having sex.” He grabbed my arm. “Come on. I told Greg five minutes.” Freddy looked at me and giggled when Gabe started running. He took off and I followed, watching his ass under the moonlit sky. It didn’t help my boner any. We ran to Greg’s house. He had his window open and was leaning out. He started roaring with laughter when he saw us approaching. Gabe stood and wiggled his body at him, making his cock sway side to side. “Hold on,” Greg whispered as he started to climb out the window. He was naked! “I’ve wanted to do this with you guys for years,” he laughed as he stood before us with his hands over his cock. Greg was a heavy boy who had few friends at school. Gabe and I had known him all our lives, and we never tried to avoid him like other students did. Many times Gabe had invited him to eat at our table in the cafeteria. The first time he did, Gabe had to practically drag his large body across the cafeteria floor. He objected because he wasn’t a jock, but Gabe had responded. “You’re our friend, that’s all that counts.” Other students started to treat him kinder after that. “Then come on!” Gabe shouted as he tore off through the neighborhood. We ran past Mr. Cunningham, an elder gentleman a block away. He was getting out of his car carrying a bag of groceries. He stopped and laughed when he saw us streaking past. “I’d join you,” he hollered, “but this old body won’t run anymore.” Gabe turned and waved. Mr. Cunningham gave us a thumbs up and then walked away laughing. We ran through several blocks before finally returning home. When we dropped Greg off at his house, he thanked us and said it was the most fun he’d had in years. We collapsed exhausted on the lawn outside the tree house. I looked over at Freddy. He was lying on his back and his chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath. My eyes focused on his uncut cock. “Take a picture,” Gabe giggled. My face turned several shades of red when I realized I’d been caught staring at him. After a few more minutes, we put on our underwear and climbed the ladder to the tree house. “That was fun,” Gabe exclaimed as he sat down. “I almost forgot how much fun we used to have.” “I can’t believe I streaked the neighborhood,” Freddy moaned. “If Mom finds out I’ll be grounded until I’m twenty-five.” I looked over at Gabe, leaned in and gave him a big hug. “Thanks,” I whispered in his ear. Nothing more needed to be said. Gabe had restored my childhood. With everything I had been through, it felt good to be a kid once again. He knew that. That’s why he had us do what we did. Gabe opened his phone to see what time it was. “We’d better get to sleep,” he announced. “It’s after midnight.” “I thought we were going to pull an all-nighter?” He started to make a bed on the floor with the blankets. “Can’t,” he said. “I got practice in the morning.” “It’s Sunday!” I shouted. “Tell the coach that,” he replied as he and Freddy continued to make a bed. “We can’t play on Friday if we don’t show up.” They laid three on the floor, leaving one as a cover. Gabe was the first to crawl in. Freddy looked at me. I guess he didn’t know if I wanted the middle or if he should take it. I shrugged and then lay down. Freddy got in beside me. Gabe rolled on his side and fell asleep immediately. After years of spending nights with him, I knew it didn’t take him long. A minute later, he began to snore. I lay on my side facing him. Freddy tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. After a few minutes, he spooned his body against mine. I froze when he pressed his body against me. “Is this okay with you?” He whispered in my ear. I nodded. He then wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my hand around his arm and soon fell asleep. Gabe was the first to awaken. The sun was beginning to shine through the window of the tree house. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. I then realized that Freddy was still spooned against my body with his arm around me. I could feel his erection pressed against my ass. “I gotta piss,” Gabe announced. When he pulled the cover back, his cock was straining against his underwear. “What?” He laughed when he saw me looking at it. “You had one last night.” He tugged on it a few times and then crawled to the door. I laughed as he climbed down the ladder. Freddy stretched out. When he did, his hard cock poked my ass. I giggled and then turned toward him. “Morning,” I smiled. “Sleep well?” He batted his eyes, trying to figure out where he was. He rose up on his elbow and looked around. “Yeah, I did.” He lay his head back down and stared at me. He looked so cute. His hair was tousled, and he had slight mustache which I hadn’t noticed before. His brown eyes darted as he stared into my face. “Morning,” he said nervously as he leaned in to kiss me. I closed my eyes and felt his lips touch mine. Both of us started giggling at the same time. He rolled on his back and covered his mouth. “Morning breath!” I cupped my hand to my mouth and let out a few breaths. “Eww,” I giggled. He rolled back over and looked at me. He covered his mouth and said, “Maybe we should try this again later.” "Good idea,” I laughed. Gabe came up the ladder and crawled in beside us. He was dressed. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing!” We said in unison. Freddy and I hurried outside and got dressed. I couldn’t take my eyes off him while he put his clothes on. His eyes didn’t leave my body, either. “Here!” Gabe threw the laundry basket down at me. Freddy stepped over and helped me catch it. When we entered Gabe’s house, his mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. “Did you boys have fun last night?” We looked at each other and started laughing. “Yeah, Mom,” said Gabe. He gave us a wicked grin. “We ran into a problem, but it turned out okay.” She gave us a puzzled look when we started laughing. “Boys.” She shook her head. “Go clean up. Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes.” We were eating when Mr. Dyson walked sleepily into the room. He sat down while Gabe’s mother poured him a cup of coffee. He looked over at us. “Morning, Boys.” He picked up the syrup bottle and poured some on his pancakes. He then looked back over and grinned. “Did you enjoy your morning run?” Gabe started choking on a piece of bacon. I looked over at Freddy. I don’t know whose face was redder, mine or his. Mr. Dyson smiled again and started pounding on his chest. “Nothing like an early run to get the old heart pumping, huh, Boys?” “Yeah, Richie,” he laughed. “A good run makes a lot of things pump up, right?” The orange juice I was drinking sprayed from my mouth onto my plate. “What on earth are you rambling about, Carl?” Gabe’s mother asked as she sat the cup of coffee in front of her husband. “Nothing, Dear,” he looked at us and grinned. “I have to remember not to get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom.” Gabe looked at me, then Freddy, then back to his father. His father leaned back in his chair and roared with laughter. He then stopped laughing, leaned toward Gabe and warned, “We’ll talk about this later, Son.” “Yes, Sir,” Gabe answered sheepishly and very red-faced. “What do you think he’s going to do to you?” We had finished eating breakfast and were sitting in Gabe’s room. Gabe was pacing nervously around the room. “I don’t know,” he said worriedly, “but whatever it is, you’re going to help me do it.” “But it was your idea,” I reminded him. “So?” He looked at me and Freddy. “You didn’t have to do it.” “What!” Freddy jumped up, but I stopped him. “Forget it, Freddy,” I laughed. “When Gabe gets in trouble, everyone gets in trouble.” “Damn, straight!” Gabe said as he walked over and fisted me. Freddy reluctantly returned it. We sat around talking for about a half hour. Gabe’s father came into the room to get him for basketball practice. “You ready, Sport?” He walked around Gabe examining him. Gabe gave us a puzzled look. “Yep. Got all your clothes on.” Gabe turned to his father. “You’re getting a kick out of this, aren’t you?” His father laughed and said, “Let’s just say I have a mean streak.” He emphasized the word ‘streak.’ “Come on, Guys.” Gabe angrily picked up his gym bag and left hurriedly from the room. His father trailed behind him laughing. He dropped Freddy off first. Before he got out of the car, he asked me, “Do you want to come in for a while? I can show you what work I need help with in history.” I looked worriedly at him. I then looked at the driveway to see if his car was parked outside. “I don’t know. Why don’t you come over later to my aunt’s house?” He looked sadly at me. “I’ll ask Mom to bring me over later. I really was hoping you’d come in, though.” He got out of the car without saying goodbye. I knew by the expression on his face he was upset. We had gotten along so well, and now I had disappointed him. Gabe turned to me when he saw Freddy walking up the driveway with his shoulders slumped. “Why don’t you go in with him?” I hesitated a moment before opening the door and climbing out. “Hey, Freddy!” He turned and smiled when he saw me exit the car. “Wait up!” His smile turned to a wide grin when I walked up and threw my arm around his shoulder. “Richie!” Andrew was first to see me. He came running across the living room and jumped into my arms. We fell back onto the sofa. Seconds later, Harley came bounding into the room and jumped into my lap. I started tickling them until Harley jumped up and shouted that I was going to make him pee his pants. I looked up at Freddy. He mouthed the words, “He means it.” I put Andrew down and patted his butt. “Why don’t you guys go play? I’ll join you later.” “Promise?” Andrew asked. I gave him a hug. “Promise.” He hit Harley, yelled “you’re it,” and they ran from the room. I turned when Freddy’s mother came walking into the room. She was dressed in a light blue sweat suit. It appeared she may have just returned from jogging. She stopped suddenly when she saw me standing beside Freddy. “Richard!” She gave me a warm smile. “It’s Richie, Mom,” Freddy informed her. “He likes people to call him Richie.” “Of course,” she replied as she walked over to me and extended her hand. “I’m pleased that you’re here.” My first instinct was to remind her that this wasn’t her home, but mine. I should be welcoming her to MY home. But I glanced quickly at Freddy. He was biting his lower lip nervously. I think he was afraid how I might respond to meeting his mother. I took her hand and shook it. “Thank you, Mrs. Brumbaugh.” “Linda,” she smiled. “If you like to be called Richie, then please call me Linda.” “Okay, Linda.” She smiled warmly at me. A wave of guilt swept through me. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t. She seemed genuinely nice. I could now see where Freddy got his gentle nature. She took my arm and started to lead me into the kitchen. “Come boys,” she said. “I just baked some oatmeal cookies. Harley’s been bugging me for weeks to make them.” When we entered the kitchen, Freddy and I sat at the center island while she poured us a glass of milk and placed some cookies on a plate. She kept looking at me and smiling. She seemed really pleased that I was home. I heard the patter of feet. Harley and Andrew came running into the kitchen. “Oatmeal cookies!” Harley shouted. He ran over and hugged his mother. “Thank you, Mommy!” She gave him and my brother a glass of milk and a handful of cookies. “Now you two go out on the deck and eat.” As they ran for the door, she shouted out, “And don’t make a mess!” She turned to us and laughed. “Boys.” She poured herself a cup of coffee and then took a seat across from us. “Did you have a good time last night?” she asked Freddy. He quickly glanced over at me. “Yes, Mother,” he replied. “I had a wonderful time.” She looked at me and asked, “He didn’t get you in any trouble, did he?” “Mother!” Freddy said loudly. “I’m not a kid anymore.” “Of course, Dear,” she replied. She stood up and walked over to the counter. “I just don’t want you running around and getting into trouble.” For the second time that morning, I sprayed my drink onto the table. She turned and gave us a puzzled look. Freddy grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go to my room,” he laughed. “Boys!” I heard her exclaim as we left the room. We went downstairs to the family room. Freddy’s clothes were neatly piled in stacks in the corner. His shoes lined one wall. The sofa had been made into a bed. I then remembered him telling me that he was now living down in the basement. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. “See,” he smiled when I sat down beside him. “She’s not a monster.” “Maybe not,” I grinned, “but her son is an ogre.” He laughed before jumping on top of me and pinning me down on the sofa. He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and gentle at first, but then the kiss became more passionate. “Wow!” He said when our lips parted. He sat up and looked over at me. I tried to return his smile, but I couldn’t. I enjoyed the kiss, but it seemed to have happened too soon. I was still getting over Wade’s death, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for another relationship. “I’m sorry, Freddy,” I said sadly. “I’m just not ready for this yet.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I know that, Richie,” he assured me. “It’s just I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you.” “You have?” “Yeah,” he replied. “You have no idea how much I’ve been hurting because I thought you hated me.” “Really?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was surprised that he had wanted me for so long. I then thought back to how awful I’d been treating him. I suddenly felt embarrassed. “It’s okay, Richie,” he assured me. “As long as I know you don’t hate me, I can wait.” Tears were shining in his brown eyes. I leaned in and kissed him again, only not as passionately as we had the first time. “Thanks,” he said as I pulled away. We sat back on the sofa. He reached over and took my hand in his, and I locked my fingers around his. For some reason that I couldn’t even explain to myself, I felt safe when he was holding my hand. I asked, “Does your mother know you’re gay?” “Yeah.” I looked surprisingly at him. “She does?” “Yeah,” he said as he squeezed my hand. “I told her about two years ago. She’s okay with it.” “She is?” I couldn’t believe that he had come out to his mother. I always thought it was something you kept hidden until you graduated or something. He started laughing. “Not everyone thinks we’re perverted.” “My father does,” I replied sadly. “No, he doesn’t.” I gave Freddy a surprised look. “He knows I’m gay. He’s never said anything bad about it to me.” “He knows you’re gay?” He started laughing at the stunned look on my face. “Of course,” he laughed. “When I came out to Mom, she asked if it would be all right if she told your father. He’s seems pretty cool with it.” “He is?” Freddy sat back and laughed. He squeezed my hand tighter. “Not everyone is a monster like you seem to think.” He leaned over and kissed me quickly. He rose, walked over to a table and got a book. “We did come back to study,” he reminded me when he sat back down. I scooted closer to him as he opened his book. We worked for the next few hours on some assignments he had to make up. I wanted to go home and get my notebook, but he said it was better if we did it without cheating. When we finished, he only had a few assignments remaining. “You’re a life saver,” he remarked as he closed the book after we’d finished a long assignment. I started smiling. “I had a good time. In fact, the past two days have been fun. I’m glad we finally met each other.” “Me, too,” he said as he kissed me quickly on the lips. Just then the upstairs door opened, and his mother hollered down. “Boys! Dinner is ready.” I looked over at the clock. I hadn’t realized that so much time had passed. “I can’t stay for dinner,” I responded worriedly. “Why?” “I...just...can’t,” I stammered out. I didn’t want to face him. I wasn’t yet prepared to see him again. I thought that I would be gone by the time he got home. I should have been more aware of the time. Freddy followed behind me as I bounded up the stairs. I opened the door, hoping to make it to the garage door before he saw me. As soon as I walked out, I ran into him. “Son?” “Daddy?”
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