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About Ronyx

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  1. Ronyx

    Chapter 2

    A will only covers possessions, so if she had written a will, it would not include the children. 'Dick' since he is their biological father would have the right to child custody under the law, I believe. Any lawyers in here?
  2. Ronyx

    Chapter 2

    Andrew was lying on my bed asleep as I sat at my computer reading some of the email from my friends. Most were telling me how sorry they were that my mother had died. A few were ecards, mostly from girls. I wasn’t the most popular guy at school, like Gabe, but I had a lot of friends. I have known most of them since elementary school. It also helps that our home has a large pool in the backyard. It became the hangout for my friends during the hot, summer months. I’m not very athletic, but I do like to swim. Since I’m rather small at 5’6” I’m not exactly basketball material. I wouldn’t know how to throw a football if I had to. Three summers ago, Gabe and a few other guys convinced me to play tag football in a field down the street from our house. Gabe became frustrated because every time he passed me the ball, I managed to fumble it. Soon, I found myself sitting on the sidelines watching the others play. Gabe is a good friend. He’s been with me through the past three years. There were times I felt I couldn’t hang on anymore, but he was always there to lend me a strong shoulder to cry on. My mother adored him. A smile would appear on her face when we entered a room together. She would find our height difference amusing. He towers over me at 6’4” and outweighs me by about 50 pounds. She would laugh and tell us we looked like Mutt and Jeff- whoever they are. Two years ago when my mother was really sick, he would stay most nights with me. We slept together in my king-sized bed. Late one night the moon was shining through the window and it was hitting Gabe’s face. I lay for an hour watching him as he slept. Suddenly, something in me just clicked. I can’t really explain it. It was like in a cartoon where a light bulb goes on over someone’s head. That’s what it seemed like. In that brief moment, as I watched Gabe sleep, a revelation swept over me- I was gay. It was like a defining moment for me. Years from now when someone asks me when did I first realize I was gay, I’ll tell them it was the night I watched Gabe sleeping beside me and I wanted to scoot next to him and wrap by body around his. For a while after that I thought it was because I was experiencing a lot of emotion dealing with my mother’s illness and his absence; but the more I thought about it, I began to realize it was more than that. I would watch Gabe as he undressed in front of me, and I would stare at his soft dick. Mine would harden, and I would have to wrap a towel around the front of me so he couldn’t see. I would watch his long, lithe body swimming effortlessly through the water, and I wanted to sit him on the side of the pool and satisfy my sexual desires that were becoming stronger each day. But I didn’t. And I never told Gabe how I felt, although I’m sure he would have probably laughed it off and called me a perv. He has a couple of gay friends at school, so I knew he wouldn’t have abandoned me as a friend. I just couldn’t tell him. I think it was more of not telling myself. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had too many other problems to deal with. My mother was dying of cancer and he had left us for another woman. I had suddenly become the man of the family. I had a younger brother and sister to protect. My sexuality would wait for another day. At fifteen it wasn’t a pressing issue. I could satisfy myself in bed late at night or in the morning shower. I didn’t need another issue to deal with. I jumped when my door flew open. He was standing in the doorway with an angry look on his face. “Why are you up here in your room and not downstairs with our guests?” Andrew leapt from the bed, ran over and jumped into my lap. “I want both of you downstairs, now!” He pointed toward the stairs. “I don’t want to,” I replied defiantly. His eyes narrowed as a look of anger formed on his face. He walked over and stood before me. His arms were crossed as he peered angrily at me. “You don’t have a choice,” he said as he reached down and grabbed Andrew from my lap. He started screaming and kicking in an attempt to get away. I stood up and faced him. “Leave him alone!” I screamed as I pulled him back into my arms. “Leave us all alone!” I screamed louder. He started to strike me but drew his hand back before his fist hit the side of my face. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Richard!” he shouted. “I’m your father.” Before I realized what I was saying, my mouth screamed, “You’re a damn sperm donor!” I had read the term in an online story and found it appropriate to describe him. However, then wasn’t the right time to say it. He shook his fist violently at me. I could tell he was filled with as much rage as I was feeling. “You’re grounded!” he screamed. He reached past me and yanked the keyboard from my computer. “You can’t ground me!” I fought to retrieve my keyboard from his hand. “Watch me!” he shouted as he stepped back. I was too small to continue to try and fight him. Besides, Andrew was crying, and he was trying to get me to stop. Tears started to fall down my face. I didn’t want him to know he had upset me, but I was filled with too much anger to stop them. He had started to walk toward the door. “I hate you!” I screamed. “I fucking hate you!” He turned and stood in a pose as if he were speaking to one of his apprehensions. “You can feel what you like towards me,” he said quietly. “But until you are eighteen, you are my son and I have authority over you.” His eyes narrowed once again in anger. “You will do as I tell you, and right now I am telling you to get your rebellious ass downstairs.” He walked over and took a screaming Andrew by the hand and started to lead him away. “You have five minutes or I’m going to come up here and drag you down there. If that’s what you want, then fine.” He gave me a final glare and then pulled Andrew from the room. “Fuck you!” I screamed as he slammed the door shut. I waited seven minutes until I finally went downstairs. I figured if I waited any longer, he would probably come back up and do what he threatened. I knew from past experiences that he always did what he said he would do. When I was twelve, I went to play basketball at a friend’s house. He told me to be home by 8 pm or he’d come get me. I was having fun, and I wasn’t paying attention to the time. I heard a car speeding down the road and squeal to a stop. It was him. He stormed out of the car, came over, pulled me by my shirt and threw me in the car. My friends teased me for weeks after that incident. Most of the guests were gone by the time I made my way to the living room. Andrew was sitting on my Aunt Barbara’s lap, so I went over and sat down beside her. He came walking in a few minutes later with her beside him holding his arm. They approached and he ordered me to stand. “Richard, I want you to say hello to Linda.” He gave me a threatening look as I stood mum. “Richard.” My aunt stood and faced him. “I don’t think this is the appropriate time for a confrontation.” He looked angrily at her and then at me. “I’m not trying to start a fight,” he replied. “I just want the boys to meet Linda.” I looked over at her and she appeared nervous. She attempted to pull him away, but he refused to move. He looked back at me. “I want you to say hello to Linda,” he ordered as he put his arm around her and pulled her directly in front of me. I started to turn, but Aunt Barbara grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, “Do it, Richie. It’s not worth making a big scene right now.” I looked into her pleading eyes. “Hello, Mrs...?” I then turned to my father and said sarcastically. “What is her last name?” He glared angrily at me. She smiled and extended her hand. “Very well, Richie,” she smiled. “You may call me Mrs. Brumbaugh.” I gave him a smug look. “Hello, Mrs. Brumbaugh,” I said sweetly. “Very nice to meet you.” I then gave him another smug look before turning and walking away. He started to follow me, but she stopped him. I could hear her trying to calm him down as I walked away. I headed into the dining room and looked at the lavish array of food on the table. Several people in gray uniforms were flittering around making sure that everything looked presentable. As I grabbed a plate and placed roast beef and a few vegetables on it, I noticed someone walk up, take a plate and move around the table. He stayed close to my side as I selected items and placed them on my plate. Finally, I looked over. It was her son. I remembered him from the night I saw them in the restaurant. He was about two inches taller than me. He had brown hair that was cut short and neat. He was wearing a three-piece brown suit that made him appear extremely attractive. He had pretty blue eyes. Contact lenses, I thought. But when I took a closer look, they seemed to be his natural color. “Hi,” he said nervously. I could see the plate shaking in his hands as he reached for a cracker with cream cheese on top. “I’m Freddy Brumbaugh.” He put his plate down and extended his hand to me. My first instinct was to walk away, but he seemed genuinely interested in introducing himself to me. Besides, he was nervous, and I didn’t think it would be right to be rude to him. I put my plate down and quickly shook his hand. “Hi,” I said politely. “I’m Richie.” He let out a nervous giggle. “I know,” he said. “We go to the same school. I’m a year ahead of you.” I stared at him. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him before, except that night at the restaurant. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around school,” I replied. “No,” he said nervously. “You probably haven’t. I don’t know a lot of people there. I just started school a month ago when…” Suddenly, he stopped. I stared angrily at him. I wanted to complete his sentence. “When he moved you into the loft apartment downtown with him.” Instead, I grabbed my plate and walked back upstairs to my room. I expected him to come get me, but he didn’t. After eating, I lay down on my bed and fell asleep. I hadn’t slept very well since my mother’s death. Andrew had kept coming into my room late at night and crawling into bed with me. I wouldn’t have minded, except he tends to thrash around a lot in his sleep. Just when I’d fall asleep, I would end up with his hand slapping me in my face or his feet kicking me in my side. I was awakened when my door opened and the light from the hallway flooded my room. I opened my eyes and saw his silhouette in the doorway. “Be downstairs in five minutes,” he ordered as he slammed the door shut. I looked at the clock. It was after ten in the evening. By now all the guests should have left, so why did he want me downstairs? I considered rolling back over and going to sleep, but I didn’t want to have him come back to my room and drag me downstairs. When I went downstairs, I looked around but didn’t see anyone. The dinner table had been cleared and it was set with its usually arrangement on top. I could hear voices coming from the family room. I heard my uncle’s voice first. “Richard, we really don’t mind taking them into our home. It’s what Judith wanted.” I then heard his deep voice. “They are my children!” he shouted. “They will live with me!” I walked into the room and saw him sitting in a wingback chair. My sister and brother were crowded together on the sofa with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Raymond. My uncle seemed very upset. She was sitting in a chair beside him while Freddy was sitting quietly in a chair on the other side of the room. He was holding a sleeping boy that appeared to be about Andrew’s age. “What’s going on?” I looked over at my uncle. “Sit down, Richard,” he ordered. “It’s Richie,” I insisted. I hated him calling me his name. He looked at me and scowled. “Sit down, Richard!” he hissed angrily. I walked over, picked up Andrew and sat down, placing him in my lap. He then looked at Uncle Raymond. “As we were discussing, the children are going to live with me.” “What?” I stood up and shouted. “We’re supposed to live with Uncle Raymond! That’s what Mom wanted.” “Your mother isn’t here now!” he barked back as he stood before me. “I’m your father and you will live with me.” “I’m not living with you downtown with them!” I yelled back, looking at her and Freddy. She looked sympathetically at me. Freddy was looking down at his brother. It appeared he would rather be anywhere but in our family room listening to me and my father argue. He sat back down, crossed his legs and folded his hands in front of him. He then looked over at her and smiled. “We’ll be living here,” he announced. “Together.” “What!” I looked around the room. Even Freddy seemed to have a surprised look on his face. It was obvious this hadn’t been discussed with him, either. My aunt stood and stared down at him. “Richard,” she said angrily. “You can’t bring them into this house to live.” “Why not?” he responded. “It is my house. He walked over and lifted Melinda up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around her. “And the last time I checked, these are my children.” “But Richard…” my aunt started to speak but he cut her off. “This isn’t open for discussion,” he replied in his detective voice. “They will live here with me and Linda. And if you try to stop me,” he looked angrily at Aunt Barbara, “You will lose. I’ve already gotten an attorney ready to respond to any challenge.” “Fuck this!” I screamed. He approached me with his fist balled up, but Uncle Raymond stepped between us. “I’m not living here with you!” “I’m your father, Richard!” he yelled back. “You will do as I say!” “You’re not my father!” I screamed as I looked down at her. “Not since you left Mom to go fuck her!” He reached around my uncle and grabbed my arm. “You insolent child!” he screamed. “Your mother was too soft on you children.” “Don’t you mention Mom’s name!” My body was shaking with anger. “I hate you!” I started to run from the room. Before leaving I stopped and stared defiantly at him. “I wish it was you who had died!” Tears started falling from my face as I raced up the stairs and slammed my door shut. I could hear my father and uncle still arguing. I went into my bathroom to get some tissue to wipe the tears from my eyes. I looked into the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red. I looked at my face and saw him looking back. There was no doubt I was his son with my dark black hair and brown eyes. I hated looking like him. I pulled open a drawer and took out a pair of scissors. A few minutes later my curly, black hair was lying at my feet. ******** Melinda grabbed her mouth and giggled when I entered the kitchen the next morning. Andrews’s mouth dropped and soon he too was laughing. I walked over to the kitchen island and sat down. Soon, I too was laughing. The night before it had seemed like a good idea to cut my hair so that I wouldn’t look like him; but after seeing my haircut in the mirror after I got up, I realized I had made a mistake. It looked like someone had taken a weed whacker to my head. “Why did you do that?” Andrew giggled. “It looks stupid.” “I don’t know,” I replied as I ran my hand through my hair. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” I heard someone pounding on the back door. When I turned, Gabe took one look at me and fell to the deck and started laughing. After a minute, he stood up and came walking into the room, holding his sides and laughing uproariously. “What in the hell happened to you, Richie?” he laughed. “Did you step underneath a helicopter?” Melinda and Andrew started giggling. “Funny, Asshole,” I replied as I got up and headed to my room. “Hold up, Rich,” he said as he grabbed my arm. “Go to your room and I’ll be back in a sec.” He turned and hurried to the door. Before leaving, he turned and let out a loud laugh. I flipped him off and then went to my room. I was at my computer when he returned, carrying a set of clippers. “What are you going to do?” I asked. “Let’s go to your bathroom,” he said as he pulled me up by my arm. Once inside, he told me to remove my shirt and sit on the toilet. He then took a towel hanging nearby and wrapped it around my shoulders. I asked worriedly, “What are you going to do?” “Cut your hair,” he said as he turned on the clippers. I turned and grabbed his hand. “Do you know how?” “Yeah, sure,” he replied confidently. “I cut Grover’s hair all the time.” I stood and shouted, “Grover is your cocker spaniel!” “Hair is hair,” he replied. He pushed my shoulder. “Now sit back down. If I can cut his hair, I can cut yours.” “You better not fuck it up.” He looked at me and howled. I tried not to laugh, but soon found myself bursting out in laughter. “I guess you can’t do any worse than I did.” “Guess not,” he replied as he placed the clippers to my scalp and started to remove what remained of my hair. When he finished, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. I ran my hand over the dark stubble. I still had his eyes, but now with my hair gone I didn’t think I looked so much like him. “What do you think, Dirtwad?” Gabe asked as he ran his big hand over my head. “You never did say why you wanted your hair so short.” “Don’t know,” I lied as I left the bathroom and sat on the side of my bed. “What’s up, Rich?” Gabe looked into my face. He could always tell when something was wrong. “He’s gonna fuck up my life,” I moaned as I lay back on the bed and covered my eyes with my left arm. I was afraid I was going to cry. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Gabe to see my tears. He had seen plenty over the past two years. I just didn’t want to cry because of him. If I did, then I felt he won. “Who?” “Him.” I stated. “Who is him?” I sat up and faced my friend. “You know, him.” I couldn’t even bring myself to say father. “You mean your Dad?” I looked at Gabe and frowned. “He’s not my father,” I replied angrily. “He’s my sperm donor.” Gabe lay back on the bed and laughed. “Yeah,” he said as he sat up and looked at me. I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh. “And the best part of you dribbled down his left leg.” It took me a few seconds to realize what he had said. Soon I was laughing with him. “Shut up, Fucker,” I said as I flipped him off. “So, what’s the matter?” He looked over and gave me a puzzled look. “You said he’s going to fuck up your life.” I looked at him and frowned. “He’s going to move that bitch in here.” “You mean his girlfriend.” “No,” I replied angrily. “I mean his bitch. And that’s not all. Listen to this; he’s moving her kids in here too.” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows. “Are any of them young and cute?” “Yeah,” I laughed. “If you like ‘em with a dick.” “Sorry,” he frowned. “Not my thing.” ‘I know,’ I thought. “Do you know a guy by the name of Freddy Brumbaugh?” Gabe thought a minute and shook his head. “Is that the kid’s name?” “Yeah,” I replied. “He’s a year ahead of us. You probably wouldn’t know him. He’s a junior and he just started at our school.” “Wait a minute,” Gabe said excitedly. “I do know who he is. Does he have brown hair and blue eyes?” “Yeah,” I said. “Do you know him?” “I’ve never talked to him,” he replied. “But he’s in my computer science class. He came in about three weeks ago.” He looked at me and whispered, “Rumor is, he’s gay.” “What!” I shouted. “Shhh,” Gabe put his finger to his lips. I don’t know why he was being so quiet about this. No one was around to hear us. “I heard Vicki Tipton tried to talk to him.” He started to grin. “You know how big a whore she is.” “So what happened?” I asked excitedly. “She cornered him in an aisle in the library and rubbed her tits against him,” he replied. “Now any normal guy would have gotten all hot, but she said he turned all red and flew out of the library. He even left his book bag at the table.” “That doesn’t mean he’s gay,” I responded. “Maybe he doesn’t like sluts.” “Don’t know,” he shrugged his shoulders. “When she rubbed her tits against me once, I reached out and felt them.” “You felt her tits?” I shouted. “Shhhh,” he said as his face reddened. “Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t you if she put them in your face?” My face reddened as I fought for the right answer. Gabe gave me a puzzled look when I didn’t reply quickly. “You would, wouldn’t you, Richie?” “Yeah, sure,” I managed to stammer out. “Good,” he said as he pretended to wipe the sweat from his face. “You had me worried there for a minute, Richie. I was beginning to think you may be like Freddy.” I was tempted to ask him if he would hate me if I did say I was like Freddy. It was my opportunity to finally come out to my best friend. I knew deep down he wouldn’t hate me, but I couldn’t take that step. At least not yet.
  3. Ronyx

    Chapter 19

    @Cachondeo You're right. I changed the name in the story as I was writing it, and I guess I missed this chapter. Thanks! Surprised it wasn't mentioned before.
  4. Ronyx

    Dancing on a Star

    @Page ScrawlerI love Billy Elliot! I've seen it about a dozen times, and we've traveled hundreds of miles to catch it in local theaters in four different states. We are going to see it in August, but we don't have to travel too far. I wish it would tour professionally in the U.S. again. Express Yourself!!
  5. Ronyx

    Chapter 4

    I couldn’t believe it when Tracy entered the class with Jeff. Everyone knows Jeff is gay. He’s been out since the seventh grade. I wanted to warn Tracy to be careful. I motioned for him to sit beside me, but he and Jeff headed to the back of the room. A few students turned to watch them as they took a seat. I knew it meant trouble when Wendy Suttmiller turned to Jennifer Baker and asked, “Who’s the new kid? He’s really cute.” Jennifer laughed and replied, “Forget it, Wendy. If he’s with Jeff, then he obviously plays for the other side.” “Too bad,” said Wendy. “The cute ones are always gay.” I quickly looked away when she turned and looked at me. Occasionally, I would look to the back of the room as Mr. Glicker droned on about intersection points. I’m not the brightest math student, but even I didn’t need to have it explained for about the tenth time. I noticed Jeff glancing over at Tracy and giggle several times. Once he saw me look back and quickly turned his head. All I could think of was how I could get to Tracy and warn him about Jeff. I mean, Jeff seems to be a great guy. He’s small and really cute. His hair is long, and it falls down across his face. It looks streaked, like he dyes a blond coloring into this light brown hair. I think it looks awesome. I once considered asking Mom if she would color my hair like that, but then I thought she might question why I would want to wear my hair like that. It kind of looks gay, and she might start to suspect something. I’ve been a distant admirer of Jeff’s for several years. There have been many times I wanted to walk up to him and start talking, but I knew I would be ridiculed by the other guys if I did. Since the seventh grade, there has been an unspoken agreement among the guys that no one would speak to Jeff. No one bothers him anymore, and most of us just ignore him. I know it sounds cruel, but that is sometimes how things work in a school. You would never find it in a rule book, but it does exist. Tracy is new, and he doesn’t understand. I had to get to him and warn him somehow. I thought I could perhaps do it at lunch. It didn’t work out that way. When I went to lunch, I waited outside the door to the cafeteria and waited for Tracy to appear. When he came walking down the hall, Jeff was by his side. He glanced at me when he passed, but he didn’t say anything. After going through the lunch line, I sat at the table beside Jimmy. Usually, it is me, Jimmy and our friends Tyler and Brian. As we were eating, Tyler looked over and noticed Tracy and Jeff sitting together at a table a few rows from ours. “What the hell?” he exclaimed. “Does Jeff have a new boyfriend?” Jimmy looked over and frowned. He then looked over at me and said, “I told you he was a poof.” Brian asked, “What’s a poof?” “A cocksucker,” replied Jimmy. Brian asked, “Who is that kid? I’ve never seen him before.” “He’s Jack’s new neighbor,” informed Jimmy. “I knew he was gay when he was doing that weird thing in his bedroom.” Tyler laughed, pretended to jerk off and said, “We all do weird things in our bedroom.” “Naw,” exclaimed Jimmy, “Not that. He’s a fucking ballerina.” He looked over at me and asked, “Ain’t he Jack? Tell them what we saw.” My faced reddened. I didn’t know what to say. It was strange what Tracy had done the other night. It was like he was dancing like a ballerina. “Go on,” dared Jimmy. “Tell them what we saw the poof doing.” “Would you quit using that word,” I said rather angrily. I looked over quickly at Tracy and remarked, “If he’s gay, he’s gay.” Jimmy got really upset. “If he’s gay, he’s gay? What kind of shit is that?” I was relieved when Brian took my side. “It’s true, Jimmy,” he said. “It really isn’t any of our business.” “I don’t care what you guys think,” replied Jimmy. That shit ain’t right.” He looked over at Tracy and Jeff as they laughed about something Jeff had said. Jimmy looked over at me and warned, “You better stay away from him.” Just then, the bell rang, and we stood. I glanced over and watched as Tracy and Jeff walked together as they left the cafeteria. On the way to class, I began to get upset with Jimmy. We had been best friends for years. However, what right did he have to tell me who I could talk to? If I wanted to talk to Tracy, or even Jeff, why did I need his permission to do it? By the time school ended, I had determined that I would talk to Tracy if I wanted to. I headed home without waiting for Jimmy, but he managed to catch up with me about two blocks from school. “Why didn’t you wait on me?” He bent over and tried to catch his breath. “I had to run to catch up with you.” “Sorry,” I said without giving him any explanation. I didn’t want to tell him the real reason was that I was mad at him for what he said at lunch. Just then, I looked down the street and saw Tracy approaching. Jimmy noticed him, grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away. “Let’s get out of here,” he said as he jerked on my arm. “I don’t want him walking with us.” I pulled away and looked angrily at him. “Jimmy, it ain’t right,” I said. “Tracy is new to school, and he might need friends.” “Well, you can go suck his dick,” he responded angrily. “I don’t want nothing to do with the poof.” I balled my fist and felt like hitting Jimmy. Before I got a chance, he turned and headed for home. I waited for Tracy. He was stone-faced as he approached. I attempted a smile, but he appeared like he had earlier in the day. For some reason, I felt he didn’t like me. “Hey,” I smiled as I greeted him. “Hi,” he said as he walked past me. I ran to catch up to him. I looked over and asked, “Why are you being such a dick?” He stopped and stared at me. “What?” “Why are you being such a dick,” I repeated. “I’m trying to be friendly, and you act like you don’t want to speak.” “I already told you,” he said as he turned and headed down the sidewalk. I hurried and caught up with him. “Told me what?” He looked over as he kept walking. “You don’t want a friend like me.” I asked, “Why?” “You just don’t,” he replied as he scurried away. * * * * * * * * * I walked into the kitchen as Mom flitted around searching into several cabinets. “Where did I put the almond extract?” she muttered to herself. She looked up and noticed me standing off to the side. “Hello, Dear. How was school?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “It’s school.” “Do you have any homework?” “Yeah, sure,” I replied sarcastically. “When don’t I have homework?” “Well, it’s good for you,” she remarked as she opened another cabinet and looked inside. “If it’s so good for you,” I responded, “I’ll let you do it for me, then.” I grinned and added, “I’ll go do something bad.” “You do something bad?” she laughed. “That will be the day.” I sat down at the island and took a cookie out of the cookie jar. “What are you making for dinner?” “I need to find the almond extract,” she mumbled again as she opened another cabinet. “Oh, here it is,” she said excitedly as she held it up to me. “Okay,” I laughed. “I guess you found the almond extract. What do you need it for anyway?” She informed me, “I’ve invited the Craft family over for dinner, and I’m making a cake.” “The Craft family?” “Yeah,” she laughed. “You know, the new neighbors across the street.” “What are they coming here for?” I asked a little angrier than I should have. I was still upset how Tracy had treated me earlier. She smiled and replied, “I thought it was a neighborly thing to do. Now, when you finish your cookie, go do your homework. You may not have time later.” “Why?” “Your father volunteered to help Stan work on their deck after dinner.” She turned and opened another cabinet before adding, “He wants you to help.” “Me? Why?” “Because he needs your help.” “I, um, got a research project to work on,” I informed her. “I won’t have time.” “Then you better go start on it now,” she suggested. “Your father needs your help after dinner.” She then left me alone in the kitchen. “Just great,” I said to myself as I went to my room. I changed from my school clothes into something that was more comfortable- athletic shorts and a tee shirt. I then lay across my bed and fell asleep. I was awakened when the door opened, and Jimmy came barging in. “Damn!” he exclaimed. “I thought I would catch you pounding your puck.” I rolled over and pulled down my shorts slightly until just my pubes were showing. “If you want to see my dick so bad,” I giggled, “I’ll show it to you.” “Fuck that shit,” he responded. “I ain’t a fag.” He sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to go to the park and shoot some hoop. I explained that I had to finish my homework because our neighbors were coming for dinner. “What neighbors?” he asked. “That poof across the street?” “Shut up, Jimmy,” I snarled as I rose from the bed and walked across the room and looked over at the Craft house. He got up, walked over and stood beside me. “How come you get so upset every time I call that kid a poof?” “It just isn’t right,” I replied. “He’s new and you aren’t even giving it a chance to know him.” “I know all I need to know,” he replied. “I saw that shit he was doing the other day. No normal guy dances around his room like a poof. And besides, you saw him eating today with Jeff. Everyone knows Jeff is gay.” “Maybe Jeff’s the only guy who would talk to him,” I said. “You’re going around telling all our friends to stay away from him.” “You’d better do the same, Jack,” warned Jimmy. “If you hang with him, everyone is going to think you’re gay too.” I almost said, “What if I am,” but I caught myself. If I had, Jimmy would have left the room and called everyone of our friends and told them what I said. We had been friends for years, but even I knew that he would never speak to me again if he knew I was gay. I suggested, “Why don’t you stay for dinner, then you can help me and Dad work on the Craft’s deck.” “Naw, Man,” he replied. “I got better things to do.” He headed for the door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left before I had a chance to say goodbye. I was working on a geometry problem when I heard the doorbell ring. I looked at the clock and it was almost six o’clock. I knew it was the Crafts coming for dinner. A few minutes later, Karen came to my door and said that I was go come down to the dining room to eat. Everyone was seated when I arrived. There was an empty seat beside Tracy, so I sat down. Mother asked Mrs. Craft is she wanted to say grace, and she did. I found it funny because we never say grace at a meal, but I guess she was trying to impress the Craft family. Actually, we go to church twice a year- at Easter and again Christmas Eve. I always hate going Christmas Eve because I would rather stay home and watch some of the Christmas shows that night. Dinner was awkward. Dad and Mr. Craft did most of the talking, mainly about the deck. Mom and Mrs. Craft shared a few recipes. I noticed Mom studying Tracy a few times. I think she was trying to figure out if he might be gay. I think her suspicions were confirmed when Mrs. Craft started talking about Tracy. She said he had been taking ballet lessons since he was seven. Even Dad seemed surprised. “Hell, Stan,” he teased Tracy’s father, “Didn’t you get the boy involved in a man’s sport like basketball.” Mr. Craft tried to explain how good a dancer Tracy is, but my father kept insisting that his skills could be better used on a court. I glanced over several times at Tracy, and he appeared to be humiliated by the talk about his enjoyment of dancing. I bit my lip when my mother asked, “Don’t girls usually take ballet? I enrolled Karen in a class a few years ago.” She looked over at me and added, “It’s not something I would consider for Jack.” Tracy pushed himself away from the table. “Mother,” he asked sharply, “May I be excused.” He then got up and left the room. I jumped when I heard the front door slam shut. “Oh, Dear,” my mother asked. “We didn’t upset him, did we?” Mr. Craft replied, “He’s a little sensitive about dancing. He’s been told all his life that it’s something girls do. We had to move here because he was having trouble in North Dakota. Kids at school were pretty harsh on him.” “Well, hell, Stan,” laughed my father. “You should have taught him a man’s sport.” “I don’t mean to be rude, Jerry,” responded Mr. Craft indignantly, “but Tracy happens to be as good as any athlete at the school. Maybe better. He’s been performing on stage since he was nine. I’m actually quite proud of him.” “Sorry, Stan,” apologized my father. “I didn’t mean anything by what I said.” Mrs. Craft interrupted, “Tracy’s been hearing this all his life. We’ve tried to encourage him in what he likes to do, but it’s difficult sometimes. People have preconceived ideas about male dancers.” “I’ve heard that most of them are gay,” responded my mother. I could tell by the look on her face, she regretted saying it. Mrs. Craft pushed herself from the table, stood and looked down at my mother. “Thank you, Ellen, for a wonderful dinner, but we must be going now.” She looked over at Mr. Craft. He stood and shook my father’s hand. “I guess we should be heading over and work on that deck,” he said. My father patted him on the back and they headed out the door with Mrs. Craft following them. “Oh, Dear,” exclaimed my mother to me. “I think I upset her.” She then asked, “You don’t think that Tracy is really gay, do you?” Before I had a chance to say anything, my father hollered out, “Come on, Jack! The deck isn’t going to get built by itself.” I turned and rushed from the house. I was becoming increasingly upset the more I thought about what my parents had said to the Crafts, especially in front of Tracy. He got up and left because he was so insulted. I can’t say that I blamed him. By their comments, it was obvious that they not only had insulted him, but also his parents. I think what upset me even more was how intolerant and insensitive their comments were. And I don’t think they even realized it. They implied to Tracy’s parents that they thought he was gay just because he liked to dance. My father even had the nerve to tell Mr. Craft that he could have made Tracy a man by putting a basketball in his hand instead of giving him dancing lessons. I don’t think Dad was aware how insulting that sounded. And if the thought of Tracy being gay seemed unacceptable to them, then how could I ever come out to them. We had never really discussed the issue of someone being gay before, but I guess I assumed that they wouldn’t be too opposed to it. We had watched a few shows before where there were gay characters, and beside a few comments, they didn’t come right out and say anything negative. Now, I’m not sure. If Tracy and I become friends, will they suspect that maybe I’m gay too? If we become really good friends, will they think that we might be having sex when we’re alone together? Not once have they thought anything when Jimmy and I have sleepovers. During the summer months when we are out of school, it’s not unusual for us to spend many nights together. We’ve never done anything, and I have never suggested it. Jimmy is as straight a guy as they come. I’ve heard a lot of guys talk about jerking off together, but I’ve never even considered doing that with Jimmy. He is just one of those guys who you know wouldn’t do something like that. When the subject of sex is mentioned, it’s always about girls. He’s been wanting to have sex with a girl since he was about thirteen. I still don’t think he’s done anything. If he had, I know he would tell me. He’s kissed a few girls after dates, but nothing more. Now I don’t know what to do. Before Tracy, things were going well. I had decided that I would keep my feelings to myself, at least until I went off to college. I have an older sister, Stephanie, who is a sophomore in college. My parents wanted her to attend a local university, but she insisted on going to State which is a hundred miles away. She often comes home on the weekend, but she seems to be happy with the independence she’s gained by attending school away. But now, Tracy may have changed my plans. I can’t just ignore him, not after what happened in the back of the van the other day. I mean, he knows I’m gay. He’s the only one who does. Yet, I can’t understand why he won’t talk to me. Maybe he isn’t gay. He did feel on me too, but maybe he did it only because I did it to him. We are young. Our dicks get hard if there is a breeze. Naturally he would get hard with me grabbing him and stroking him. Maybe that is what is wrong with him. He keeps saying I don’t need a friend like him. What if he is like Jimmy, and he’s straight. What if he thinks I’m some sort of a gay pervert going around feeling on strangers? What if he tells people what he knows about me? I don’t think he has told anyone, so maybe he won’t. All I know is I have to talk to him somehow, but that’s going to be hard since he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. Dad and Mr. Craft were in the backyard hammering nails into the deck when I arrived. They seemed to be getting along okay, so I guess Mr. Craft wasn’t upset with Dad after all. I looked around for Tracy, but I didn’t see him. Dad looked over and said, “It’s about time you got here.” He pointed to a two-by-four. “Hand me that.” I spent the next fifteen minutes handing him boards while he and Mr. Craft hammered them into place. Mr. Craft stopped, wiped his brow and suggested that he and Dad take a break and drink a beer. “I like the way you think, Stan,” my father said as he put his hammer down. Mr. Craft looked over at me and asked, “Jack. Could you go up to Tracy’s room and see what he’s doing. I’m going to need him to help with the bigger boards after your father and I chug a few.” “Chug a few?” my father responded. “We won’t be worth two shits after a few beers.” He started laughing. “This deck will be lopsided as hell.” “Lightweight,” joked Mr. Craft. “I can down a six pack and you wouldn’t know I had anything to drink.” “Tell that to a breathalyzer test,” replied my father. He and Mr. Craft headed toward a shed where I assumed he kept the beer. Reluctantly, I went inside. Mrs. Craft was in the family room reading a story to Amelia. I walked to the door and announced, “I’m supposed to go get Tracy.” She replied, “You’ll find him in his room. Do you know where it is?” “Yes, Ma’am,” I responded politely as I turned and headed to his room. The door was slightly ajar, and I peeked inside. Tracy was in the middle of the room dancing. He was watching himself in a large mirror mounted on the wall. I couldn’t remember seeing it earlier when I helped him unpack, so it must have been installed later. I watched him for several minutes as he danced. I don’t know much about dancing, but he appeared experienced in what he was doing. He was so graceful and poised as he danced almost effortless. I remembered his father saying that he had been dancing since he was a small boy, and it was obvious he was good. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. Suddenly, he looked in the mirror, turned and looked at the door. He had seen me watching him! He walked over, turned off the music and sat down on his bed. I jumped when he hollered out, “You might as well come in since you’ve been spying on me.” I hesitantly opened the door and walked in. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Your dad asked me to come get you. He says he needs you to help.” He let out a sigh, and then he stood, faced the mirror, raised his arms and twirled. I didn’t know what to do. He would twirl, stop and look at me, and then twirl again. He repeated this several times. I asked, “What are you doing?” He replied sarcastically, “You wanted to watch me dance, so I’m dancing for you.” He then twirled several more times. “Why are you doing this, Tracy?” He stopped, walked over and sat down beside me. “You don’t like watching a gay boy dance?” he asked. “Isn’t that what your father and mother thought about me?” “About that,” I apologized, “I’m sorry. They were wrong.” “Yes, they were,” he replied angrily. He rose and took off the thin shirt he was wearing. I couldn’t believe how nicely he was built. I’ve seen many athletes undress in gym class over the years, but Tracy had a better build than many of them. He stared at me as I let my eyes roam over his body. He smiled slightly, went over to the dresser, got a green shirt and pulled it over his head. I gasped when he turned back. The green shirt made his green eyes shimmer. He sat beside me and asked, “Like what you see?” I was stunned. I couldn’t believe I had been so obvious. He must have thought I was some kind of a pervert watching him undress. I stammered, “What do you mean?” He rose from the bed, walked over, closed his bedroom door and returned. He asked, “They don’t know, do they?” “Know what?” His voice became angry. “So, are we going to play this game?” “What game?” I asked. He rose, looked down and snarled, “Forget it, Jack.” He turned and left the room.
  6. Ronyx

    A Mourning Storm

    Sometimes life isn’t fair. Fifteen-year-old Richie Ferguson must learn this lesson the hard way when his mother dies of cancer and he is forced to live with a father who left the family two years earlier for another woman. Richie’s life becomes a storm, whirling around with no sense of purpose or direction. Will the tumultuous winds destroy him, or will he find a calm sea in time to save his own life?
  7. Ronyx

    Chapter 1

    I sat glaring at the back of his head. He had insisted that I sit beside him, because as he said, “It wouldn’t look right.” However, I didn’t care. My eyes glanced over at the silver casket adorned with pink carnations on top. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the word, Mommy, spelled out in white carnations. I jumped slightly in my seat when a hand wrapped around mine. “Are you all right, Richie?” I looked into my aunt’s concerned eyes. Like mine, they were filled with tears. They were tears for a sister who she had loved until the end. Not like him. What could I say? My heart was broken. I didn’t know what to feel; so many emotions were colliding inside my mind. Should I feel sorrow? Anger? Rage? I looked at the back of his head again. This time it was bowed in prayer. Rage consumed me. I wanted to spring from the pew on which I was sitting and pound him unmercifully. “And we pray for the loved ones of Judith Ferguson,” prayed the minister dressed in a purple robe as he held his folded hands before him. I watched as he looked up and smiled gently at me. “Be with this family, Oh Lord,” he spoke solemnly. “We pray that you be with her devoted husband, Richard.” He looked up and gave me a stern look when I let out a stifled laugh. My aunt reached over and once again squeezed my hand. He turned around and our eyes met. His narrowed as my eyes filled with rage. I hated him and he knew it. The minister closed his eyes and once again continued the prayer. “We ask, Dear Lord, that you guide and protect the children whom days ago lost a mother. Let them always remember the love she shared with them for the short time she was on this earth.” My head collapsed into my aunt’s lap as she held me tightly as we both wept. Loud sobbing could be heard throughout the church. I looked up when my sister broke from his embrace and rushed to the silver casket and began screaming, “I want my Mommy!” He rose and pulled her back to her seat and put his arm around her. He told her to be quiet. Be quiet? Not even now could he show any compassion. He knew what we were all thinking. “Be with these children, Dear Lord,” the minister spoke louder above the mourning going on around him. “Be with Richie, Melinda and Andrew as they try to understand why their mother was taken from them at such a young age.” He looked down from the pulpit and smiled slightly. “God has a reason for all things. Be comforted in knowing that she now sits beside Him in Heaven.” I glared up at him. He knew I didn’t believe him. He knew I no longer believed in God. If God was such a wonderful God, then why did He take our mother from us? Why had He let her suffer so much? I looked at the back of his head. And why did He let him destroy her? I looked up again and scowled. My aunt placed a protective arm around me. She knew. She witnessed how he treated her only sister. I don’t know what the minister said next. My mind stared blankly at the closed casket with the pink and white carnations on top. The choir sang a song, but the words were muted as I thought back to the last time I saw her alive. “You’re a wonderful son,” she had said as she reached her frail hand out to mine as she lay dying in the hospital bed. “It’s a shame I’ll never be able to see you grow up.” My body fell gently against hers, careful of the tubes and needles running into her body. “I love you, Mommy,” I wailed. She put her small hand on my head and petted it. “Be strong for me, Richie,” she whispered gently. “Melinda and Andrew are going to need you now, more than ever.” I nodded my head as tears continued to fall down my cheeks. She patted it once again, and then her hand fell to the side of the bed. She once again had fallen to sleep. The next day she would be dead. She was only thirty-seven. That was six days ago. I looked up again just as the choir was singing ‘His Eye is on the Sparrow.’ Some fat woman with a microphone was parading before my mother’s casket singing loudly. She was twirling a handkerchief in her hand and would stop to wipe her tears away with it. People around me were crying. My uncle was holding my inconsolable aunt as she mourned in the pew beside me. My baby brother stood up in his seat and looked back at me. He held out his arms and I reached out and pulled him into my arms. I then sat him in my lap and rocked him gently as he cried. He turned and gave me an angry look, but he knew he couldn’t say anything, at least not in the church. I glared back at him. I hated him and he knew it. Andrew looked up with tears running down his cheeks. He was so small wrapped up in my arms. I leaned down and kissed him gently on his forehead. I then wiped his tears away, but new ones would form as quickly as the old disappeared. “Why did Mommy have to go away?” “I don’t know,” I mumbled. I pulled him tighter into my chest so that he couldn’t ask me anymore questions that I couldn’t answer. How can you explain to an eight-year old boy why his mother was lying ten feet away in a silver casket adorned with pink carnations with white carnations spelling out the word Mommy? He again turned and whispered, “Is he all right?” I just glared at him. Why would he care? He never cared before. Now, however, everyone was watching. He had to put on his fatherly act. It didn’t fool me. I looked away and looked down at the gentle face of my brother- a face red with tears. “And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.” I looked up and noticed that everyone had their heads bowed as the minister once again lead everyone in prayer. “For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.” The church echoed with the word, “Amen.” He then turned and reached for my brother, but I refused to let him go. He scowled and then walked to the casket and hugged the minister in the purple robe. I put Andrew down and my aunt grabbed our hands and led us from the pew to the front of the casket. My sister, Melinda, walked over and clutched me tightly around my waist. Like Andrew and my mother, she was small. They both had her blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. She looked more like Andrew’s twin than a sister who was four years older than him. At fifteen, I was the big brother. However, I looked like him. I had black hair and brown eyes. Why couldn’t I have looked like them? We stood before the silver casket, the three of us, with our arms wrapped tightly around one another. He stood beside Andrew. When he attempted to put his arms around us, I pulled them further to the side. He wanted to put on a good show for those who had come to say goodbye to my mother. But we all knew, and he knew we knew. For the next fifteen minutes people walked up to the casket and gently touched the side. Then they would approach my father and tell them how sorry they were for our loss. Each time he would tell them he appreciated their sentiment, I would glare past my brother and sister at him. He hadn’t been around the past year. Why were they telling him how sorry they were? He hadn’t been sitting late at night holding her hand while her body withered away to someone that was unrecognizable as our mother. He was living with his whore in a loft apartment downtown. He abandoned my mother when she needed him the most. He abandoned all of us when we needed a strong shoulder to cry on. I hated his intermittent visits because it always left her sad and depressed. And her body ached more after he left. I looked over and glared when his sister wrapped her arms around him, and they stood crying before her silver casket. “She was such a dear, sweet person,” she cried. But she knew. She knew how he had left us and now she too was putting on a show for those around them. My body surged with hatred for them, all of them. They knew how he had treated her, and now they were filled with hollow remorse. She walked over to me and tried to pull me into a hug, but I stepped back. When she reached down for Andrew, I pulled him before me and wrapped my arms protectively around him. Her eyes narrowed, but she attempted a smile. “She’s in a better place now, isn’t she?” I wanted to spit into her heavily painted face. How could she stand before three small children suffering for a mother who had endured so much pain for a year and make such a statement? Andrew started sobbing in my arms and I pulled him away and led him to the bathroom located in the basement of the church. “Richie!” he shouted out. But I took Andrew’s hand and quickly walked away. Melinda ran up and took my other hand as we walked down the stairs. Aunt Barbara, who had comforted me during the funeral, ran up and took Melinda’s hand and led her away. We exchanged a quick, knowing glance. She hated him as much as I did. We walked into a stall and together relieved ourselves. My brother’s hands trembled as he unzipped his pants. His hands shook greater when he zipped his pants back up. He looked into my face and let out a labored moan, reminiscent of a sick animal. He then fell into my arms and violently wept. “Why, Richie?” he muttered into the front of my now wet shirt. “Why is Mommy gone?” There was nothing I could say that would help him understand. I didn’t understand it myself. ******** “Richie.” My mother had walked into my room and sat down on the bed. It was a little over three years ago. I was the age of Melinda then. She took my hand and squeezed it. “We need to talk.” I knew from the worried look on her face that she was going to tell me something bad. I had been preparing myself for my father’s leaving. They had been arguing almost daily, and I thought she was going to tell me they were getting a divorce. But when she squeezed my hand and tears filled her eyes, I knew it was going to be far worse. She reached out and gently rubbed the side of my face. “You’re such a handsome boy.” Tears of sorrow filled her eyes. She sat up straight and took a deep breath. She then uttered the words that would change all our lives. “I’m sick,” she said tearfully. I wrapped my small arms around her. “You’ll be all right, Mommy,” I assured her. She reached out and pulled me onto her lap and held me tightly. “I’m really sick, Richie.” Even my young mind comprehended the warning in her voice. “I may not get well.” Her body shook as she clutched me and cried. I pulled away and stood looking down at her. She was pretty. She had always been pretty. Her blond hair was pulled back behind her head and wrapped in a pink bow- her favorite color. Her blue eyes twinkled from the tears that had formed in them. She smiled gently at me and took my small hands and squeezed them. “Do you remember when grandma got sick when you were a little boy?” I nodded my head as she squeezed my hands tighter. “I’m sick just like her.” “But she died!” I wailed as I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her. I thought back to how my granny had gotten sick. She was in and out of the hospital. Since I was only six at the time, my visits to her in the hospital were rare. When she came home to die, she was so weak that she could hardly eat. Soon she didn’t even know who I was. I could hardly see my mother’s face when I muttered softly, “Are you going to die?” When her face softened and she smiled meekly at me, I knew the answer. She didn’t have to say anything else. “Let’s hope not,” she managed to say. “I’m going to get new treatments that weren’t available to your granny.” She then pulled me into her bosom and held me tightly. She pulled away and stared pleadingly at me. “I want you to promise me something, Richie.” I nodded my head. “You’ve got to help me with Melinda and Andrew. I’m not going to be able to take care of them all by myself.” I again nodded my head sadly. I asked, “What about Daddy?” “He’ll help too,” she responded. But I could tell by the look in her eyes she was doubtful. Even though I was too young to understand, I knew then that they didn’t get along. Many times I had hidden myself under my covers at night as they screamed at each other in the den. And she did get sick. Very sick. When she received chemotherapy several months later, she lost a lot of weight. Her beautiful blond hair was replaced by a brown wig. After her treatments she would lie in bed and sleep most of the day. She became a skeleton lying upon the white sheets. It was up to me to deal with my little brother and sister. I tried to ward off most of their questions with vague answers. “What’s wrong with Mommy?” Andrew would often ask me. “She’s sick,” I’d say. “But she’ll get better,” I would reassure him, knowing that she probably never would. She did get better for a while. She said her cancer went into remission and she began to gain weight. For about six months she became the mommy we knew once again. Unfortunately, this was the time that he decided he would break the news to her about his whore. Since I was much older and was beginning to understand about sex, I could comprehend most of the arguments they had. My father is a homicide detective and she is a dispatcher for the police department. She is three years older than him and has two children. One is a boy my age. The other is a boy about two years younger than Andrew. I have never met them, but I did see him eating dinner one night as they sat on the patio of a downtown restaurant. I was riding my bike home from baseball practice. He had the nerve to call out my name and motion for me to come over. “This is Linda,” he said with a smile as he put his arm around her. I gave him a disgusted look, jumped on my bike and pedaled away before he even got a chance to introduce the two boys. The wind had dried my tears by the time I had arrived home, but the hate in my heart remained. Two months after he walked out and moved in with his ‘new’ family, Mom got sick again. She tearfully informed me late one night as she lay in her bed that she probably would not get better. She didn’t. She died five days ago. And now, upstairs he stands mourning the wife he didn’t love. If there is any kind of justice in the world, a bolt of lightning would come down from the sky and strike him dead. Then I might get rid of this hate I feel for him. ******** Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door. The knob slowly turned, and my Aunt Barbara stuck her head in. “Is everything all right, Richie?” When she saw Andrew clinging to me with his head buried in my chest she rushed over and pulled him away. “Oh! You dear baby!” she cried as he broke down once again. Melinda walked in and I walked over and embraced her. A man entered, but he quickly left when he saw the distraught situation before him. After several minutes my aunt stood straight and walked over and pulled a large amount of paper towels from the dispenser. She walked over and wiped Andrew’s face dry. She then handed me some towels and I wiped Melinda’s face dry and then myself. I walked over to the mirror and looked back at the image before me. I had aged so much over the past year. My once youthful face was taut and hard. I don’t think I had laughed or smiled the past three years. Looking back at me was a stranger I no longer knew. I looked at my long black hair and dark brown eyes. I was looking more like him every day and I hated it. I was beginning to grow a slight mustache that seemed to appear magically one night. At first, I was beaming with pride until I realized that he too had a dark, bushy mustache. Now it no longer made me feel like a man. “Let’s get back upstairs,” she said. “They’ll be taking your mother’s body out to the hearse soon. Your Uncle Ray is a pallbearer.” I grabbed Andrew’s tiny hand and led him back toward the stairs. “Where have you been?” he asked in an angry, hushed tone. “I’ve been standing here by myself.” “They’ve been with me,” responded my aunt equally angry. “Sorry you had to look like the mourning widower,” she said glaringly. I turned away and smiled slightly. Only Aunt Barb had the nerve to talk to him that way. Everyone else was afraid of the great detective, Richard Ferguson. But not my aunt. Not only did I inherit his looks, I was also the unfortunate recipient of his name. I’m Richard Ferguson, Jr. I hate my name. My middle name is Kyle. For a while I tried to get people to call me that, but I was unsuccessful. However, they do call me Richie instead of Richard. I guess I can live with that. The minister walked up and whispered something in his ear. He approached and reached out to touch my shoulder, but I quickly stepped back. “We are supposed to follow behind the casket down the aisle,” he instructed as they turned my mother’s silver casket toward the large double doors. I looked around and noticed that everyone was standing. Most of the women were wiping tears from their eyes with wet tissues. Again, he tried to position us beside him behind mother’s casket, but I stepped back beside my aunt. “She shouldn’t be here,” he hissed angrily. I reached down and took her hand. Grabbing Andrew’s hand, I stepped defiantly past him and stood behind the casket as the pallbearers started the journey down the aisle. Aunt Barbara grabbed Melinda’s hand and we marched slowly as the mourners who had come to pay last respects to my mother wept openly at the sight of three motherless children. I knew he was behind us, but I didn’t turn to see where. He shouldn’t have been here anyway. Once outside I waited to see which limousine he got into, and then I led my brother and sister into the one behind. My lips formed a slight smirk as he glared at us. Uncle Ray and Aunt Barbara rode with us. Andrew sat in my lap and looked out the window and waved to some of our family that he recognized as they headed to their cars to follow in the procession. We rode silently inside the limo. I kept my eyes glued to the hearse ahead. I still couldn’t believe that my mother was lying inside it alone in a casket. The sun was shining brightly, and the casket would occasionally glisten when it made a turn. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I had tried to be strong like she had asked me to be. It was now my responsibility to protect my little brother and sister. However, I didn’t feel strong. Not now. Not after having to share the last hour with him. With her no longer alive, I felt empty. My life had been in overdrive for three years. Now that she had died, I was drained of any strength that remained. As I stared at the hearse making its slow journey to the cemetery, I wished it were me inside instead of her. I no longer wanted to deal with the reality that was now facing me. Andrew moved in my lap. Instinctively, I pulled him tighter to my body. If I couldn’t understand what was going on, how was he expected to understand? I looked at Melinda. I was her age when mother told me she was sick. I’m sure she was aware of what had happened, but could she comprehend how our lives had now changed? Tears once again emerged when I thought of what would happen to us. I know that my mother had discussed it with Uncle Raymond and Aunt Barbara, but they had not spoken about our fate. However, my mother spoke once of it when we were alone. “What will happen to us?” I had asked her late one night as I sat vigil beside her bed. Little did I know at the time she would be dead two months later. She turned and looked sadly at me. She extended her hand and I got up from my seat and took hers as I sat on the side of the bed. “I’ve made arrangements for you to stay with Aunt Barbara,” she said weakly. “But I’m sure your father will go to court to gain custody of you, Melinda and Andrew.” She closed her eyes and remained silent for a minute before speaking once again. “It’s not my wish,” she said as tears welled up in both our eyes, “but he is your father. Barbara probably won’t be able to stop him if he does.” “I hate him, Mommy,” I cried. “I don’t want to live with him.” She gave me a stern look and squeezed my hand tightly. “Nothing good ever comes of hate,” she whispered weakly. “It will only destroy your soul. Promise me you will not fight with him if you do have to live with him.” She closed her eyes and fell asleep before I had a chance to object. We never talked about it again. I looked out the window as the hearse pulled into the neatly manicured cemetery. We followed as it climbed a hill and stopped beside a tent. Uncle Raymond got out of the car and approached the hearse. He stood on the left and helped pull my mother’s casket from it. My aunt indicated that we were to get out and follow my mother to her final resting place. When I looked over and saw him waiting for us to exit, she had to pull me from the car. “Just a few more minutes, Richie,” she pleaded. “It’s almost over with.” I reluctantly got out and took Andrew’s hand. If it hadn’t been for my little brother, I probably would have watched the remaining ceremony from the backseat of the limousine. As we approached the tent, he indicated that he wanted us to sit in the seats positioned in front of the casket. I turned and pushed my way back through the throng of mourners approaching the tent. Many looked confused as I made my way past them. “Richie!” I heard a familiar voice. “Wait up!” My best friend, Gabe, ran up beside me. “Are you all right?” I stopped and turned toward him. I couldn’t remember seeing him at the church even though I knew he would be there. Gaberiel Dyson, Gabe for short, had been my best friend since the third grade when he and his family moved next door. I was attempting to shoot a basketball into a net above the garage door when I heard a voice behind me. “Your form is all wrong,” the boyish voice said. I turned and saw a brown-haired boy about my age standing about twenty feet away. “There’s nothing wrong with my form,” I responded as I heaved the ball at the net. It landed on top of the garage and then bounced to the ground. He giggled as he picked up the ball. “Sure there is,” he replied cockily. “Watch.” He placed his feet firmly on the ground as he tossed the ball over his head and straight into the net. He then stood back and grinned. “See,” he smiled. “I told you.” He spent the rest of the afternoon showing me how to shoot a basketball. Even today, I still can’t play basketball very well. Gabe is a starter for our varsity team. He plays forward position; but since the starting forward is a senior, he doesn’t get much playing time. “Yeah, Gabe,” I replied sarcastically. “Everything is just great.” A worried look appeared on his face. He approached me and threw his arm around my shoulder. He held on to me as I fell to the ground and started crying. I could hear the minister in the purple robe saying, “We can take comfort that our sister in Christ, Judith Ferguson, is with God this bright morning.” I buried my head into the chest of my best friend and cried. He said nothing as he held and rocked me. Soon I was aware that people were beginning to walk away from the tent. A pair of strong hands lifted me from the ground. At first I fought, thinking it was him. But I recognized the voice of my Uncle Raymond. “Don’t Richie,” he said soothingly. “Let’s get you home.” I really don’t remember much about the drive home. I remember looking back at my mother’s casket sitting alone. Everyone had walked away and had headed to their cars. I wondered if she’d be lonely tonight when the sun set and the night air cooled. The driveway was already filled with cars when our limousine pulled up in front of the house. Cars were lining the tree-covered street, and I noticed that several of our neighbors had come out to stand on their porches as we exited the car. Most had been at the church and were now standing reverently as we made the journey up the sidewalk and into the house. He was already standing at the door greeting those who had come back to share in the food he had catered in. He started to say something, but I brushed past him and followed my aunt into the kitchen. Andrew was following behind, holding the belt loop on my pants. “Sit down.” She pointed to the stools beside the kitchen island. She then went to the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon of milk. She poured the milk into glasses and set them before us. He walked into the kitchen and walked around the island until he was before us. “Would you boys like something to eat? There are all kinds of food in the dining room?” “I’ll take care of them, Richard,” my aunt replied sharply as she looked angrily at him. “If they want something to eat, then I’ll get it for them.” I watched as they stared angrily for several seconds at each other. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” he mumbled as he turned and left the room. I almost spit my milk out when she softly muttered, “Bastard.” She had said what I had been thinking since I first saw him in the church. We sat quietly in the kitchen as the noise from the dining room and living room grew louder. Soon it sounded like a party was being held inside the house. The louder the noise grew, the angrier I got. People came into the kitchen to express their sorrow to me, Andrew and Melinda. My aunt would quickly direct them back into the other rooms. Gabe came in and sat down beside me. We didn’t speak, but I was glad he was beside me. He had been with me the past three years, so he understood how I was feeling. I was becoming more upset as the loud talking grew into laughter. I could hear him burst out into loud laughter. He wasn’t even thinking about her. He was soaking in the attention he was receiving. She was now a forgotten memory to those in the other room. “I’m going to my bedroom,” I announced to my aunt as I stood. Gabe got up and put his hand on my back. Andrew grabbed my hand and walked with me as I entered the dining room on the way to the stairs. I turned toward him when I heard him burst out in another fit of laughter. She was standing beside him with her two boys. He had brought them into our house on this day of mourning!
  8. Ronyx

    Chapter 12

    I left Todd’s house walking on Cloud Nine. I couldn’t believe the incredible experience I had just had with him. Just a week ago I thought my life was over, now I had a wonderful boyfriend. I was in love! I opened the door, crept quietly into the living room and headed for the stairs. I heard my mother shuffling around in the kitchen preparing dinner. I was trying to hide from her. I didn’t know if I could contain my excitement. I needed some time to get myself together. She called out. “Is that you, Gary?” “Yes, Mom!” I yelled back as I quickly headed towards the stairs. “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes,” she warned me. I raced up the stairs and ran into my bathroom. I quickly stripped off my clothes, removing the cum stained underwear and pants I had been wearing. Mom usually does my laundry, but if this keeps up, I’ll have to start washing my own clothes. After putting on clean underwear and a warm sweat suit, I went downstairs to the kitchen, pulled out a chair and sat down. Mom placed a plate in front of me as she sat in the seat across from me. “How was your first day back, Dear?” she asked concernedly. “It was good. No problems.” I didn’t want to tell her about the confrontation in the hall. The rest of the day had actually gone well. No one had bothered me. I guess word had gotten around that if you messed with me, you had to mess with Josh, too. It would probably include a visit from Bobby and Carl as well. “Did you finish your homework?” she asked. It seemed like a pretty innocent question. Without thinking, I replied, “No, Ma’am.” “I thought you do your homework over at Todd’s house? What did you do if you didn’t work on your school work?” Another innocent question until my face began to burn a scarlet red! She looked at me and raised an eyebrow when she saw my reaction. Oh, no! Her motherly instinct kicked in. She knew! She knew I had just had S-E-X! I quickly shoveled spaghetti into my mouth as I attempted to ignore her. I could feel her eyes burning into me. She didn’t say anything else. I guess she knew we had talked about me making my own decisions, and she was going to trust me. I finished eating and headed up to my room to finish the homework that should have been completed earlier. I was in the middle of my literature assignment when my cell phone rang. I picked it up, expecting Todd to be on the other end. When I looked at the number on the caller ID, my heart stopped. It was Shaun! I let the phone ring several times. I hesitated to answer it, but I was curious why he was calling. “Hello?” I quietly answered. “Gary? This is Shaun.” “Um, yeah?” “Can we talk?” “Yeah, what do you want?” It was getting tense. Both of us were nervous. Shaun’s voice was shaky, and I could hardly form a coherent sentence. My mind was racing. “Not on the phone. Can you come over?" he asked. I didn’t know how to respond. The last time I had been to his house was disastrous. It was the beginning of all my current problems. He had outed me at school the next day, but then recently he had mysteriously left me alone. After the confrontation at the locker today, I noticed him afterwards, and he appeared sad. “Sure, give me ten minutes.” I hung up the phone. I had no idea what I was heading into. Maybe he was setting me up. Perhaps, I’d go and some of his buddies would be there to harass the queer. I didn’t know. I left my room, headed down the stairs and went into the living room. Mom was curled up on the sofa reading a book. She looked up when I entered. “Shaun called. He wants me to come over,” I said nervously. She looked at me and gave me an inquisitive look. “I’ll be home in a little while.” She didn’t say anything. She just watched as I put on a jacket and left the house. Shaun’s house was the next block over, so it only took me a couple of minutes to walk. I almost turned around a dozen times. However, my inner voice was telling me to see what he wanted. I knocked on the door, and his mother answered. She smiled when she saw me standing outside on the porch. “Come in, Gary. Where have you been? It’s been over a week since we last saw you.” She then looked at the cast on my arm. “My goodness, what happened to you? she asked concernedly. “It’s a long story,” I responded. “Is Shaun in his room?” I didn’t mean to be rude, but I was too anxious to engage in a conversation with his mother. “Can’t you hear his music blasting away? Go on up,” she replied. I walked quietly up the stairs to his room. I hesitated a few minutes before knocking on his door. “Come in!” I heard him yell from the other side. I opened the door and entered. He was sitting on his bed reading the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. He put the magazine aside when he saw me. He looked sad. He had the kind of look that make people say, “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.” I guess in this case, he had. “What up, Pussy?” he asked. I saw his mouth form a hesitant smile. This was the way we had always greeted each other for the past couple of years. It was something that made me feel special because it was reserved for just me. He never addressed anyone else that way. “You, Bitch.” That was my special reply for him. We had played out this greeting a thousand times. I let a small smile form, too. “Sit down, Gary.” He seemed extremely nervous as he patted the bed beside him. He was propped up against the wall, exactly like we had been sitting last week. “You sure?” I asked hesitantly. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he replied. I removed my shoes and climbed onto his bed. I made sure I kept a safe distance between us. To my surprise, he scooted over to me and pushed up against me, resting his leg against mine. My first instinct was to move away, but again my inner voice told me not to. We sat there for a moment without saying anything, just listening to the music blasting from his stereo. After an awkward silence, he spoke. “Look, Gary. I fucked up, Man. I’m really sorry.” His voice was shaking, and he was fighting hard to keep his composure. “You’re my best friend. We’ve always been there for each other.” He stopped talking and stared absently at the wall. I knew that this was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done. “I don’t know what to do. There is nothing I can say,” he muttered softly. “It’s all right, Shaun,” I assured him. “We’ve still got each other.” “I don’t even know how to ask you to forgive me,” he said sadly. “You don’t have to.” He looked up into my eyes. Shaun didn’t have to apologize. He was already forgiven. He was my best friend, and that’s what best friends do, they forgive. He was my first real friend, and I was not going to let him go, no matter what he had done to me. I know one thing. I would rather tell people ten years from now that Shaun is my best friend, rather than tell them about the best friend I used to have. I held out my fist. He looked at me and hesitated. Then, he brought his fist up and hit mine. We then hooked our little pinkies together. “Friends 4ever,” we said in unison. It was our secret bond. We did it every time we made a pledge to one another. When we would tell each other a secret, we’d do it. It was sacred to us. We would go to our grave with that secret if we had done the fist and pinkie pledge. We sat quietly beside each other for several minutes. Our legs continued to rub against each other, but this time I didn’t bone up. Shaun was my friend again, my best friend. After a few moments he broke the silence. “You and Todd together?” he asked. I was stunned for a moment. I guess he had heard the rumors. Since he was my friend, I thought it was best to deal with it honestly. I had hidden the truth from him for so long. “Yeah, we are. You and Melissa together?” I asked back. “Yeah,” he replied. We sat quietly again for a few moments. I wasn’t quite sure where our conversation was heading. “You do it yet?” He looked over at me and grinned. “Shut up, Bitch,” I giggled. “You and Melissa do it yet?” I asked. By now we were rolling on the bed laughing. “I’m not going to tell you, if you don’t tell me,” he laughed. “Okay. Here’s what we do,” I suggested. “On the count of three, yell out yes or no.” “One, Two, Three.” We both shouted, “Yes!” “Get out of here! When?” He had an amazed look on his face. “This afternoon.” I began to blush. “No shit!” “Yes shit!” “Who was the boy and who was the girl?” He grinned as he made the universal symbol for sex. He poked his finger in a circle he had formed with this other hand. “Shut up, Fuckface. We haven’t gone that far yet.” I emphasized the word yet. Suddenly, a vision of Todd lying on his bed ‘practicing’ with his carrot jumped in my head. If Shaun saw me blush, he didn’t say anything. “What did you do?” he asked. I think he found it interesting to think about his best friend with another guy. “I’m not going to tell you,” I laughed. Then, I pushed my tongue against the side of my mouth several times. “Aw, man! That’s too much fucking information.” We were both rolling around on the bed laughing. When he looked back over at me, I did it again. We laughed hysterically. I sat up and looked at Shaun. “So, is Melissa the first girl you did it with?” Now was my chance to find out what I had wanted to know for years. “Nope,” he said with a wide grin. “No shit! How many other girls?” He had really piqued my interest. “Look over here.” He pointed to some marks on the headboard of his bed. There must have been at least five deep cuts. One of the marks looked fresh. He was keeping a record of the girls he had sex with! I’d be checking that out from now on! “No shit, Man! You’re a dirty dog!” “Woof, Woof, Woof” We were rolling around laughing again. “You using protection?” I asked seriously. “Hell, yeah! No little puppies for me. I always carry a raincoat,” he replied as he patted his wallet. “If you ever need anything, see Mom.” I grinned and began laughing. He gave me a look like I had just made the stupidest remark he’d ever heard me say. I laughed even harder. “Long story, dude. I’ll tell you later.” We sat quietly for a few minutes. Occasionally, we’d look over at each other and giggle. Throughout our conversation, our legs never separated. Suddenly, Shaun leaned over and kissed me quickly on my cheek. My eyes widened as I stared at him. “What was that for?” I asked as I rubbed the spot he had just kissed. “You’re my best friend. I love you,” he blushingly stated. “I’m going to tell my boyfriend you kissed me,” I kidded him. “So, he’s a little fucker. I could easily take him out,” bragged Shaun. “Not if he’s with his brother.” Shaun’s smile faded. “Yeah, right,” he said. We both started laughing. Then I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, too.” “I’m going to tell my girlfriend you kissed me,” he said with a wide grin. “I’ll tell her you kissed me first,” I joked. We playfully chatted for a long time, renewing an old friendship. Suddenly, I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. I had been in Shaun’s room for over two hours. “I gotta go, Man,” I said as I got off the bed. He looked at the clock and noticed the time. “Okay,” he frowned. It was obvious he didn’t want me to go. If it had not been a school night, I would have called my mother and just slept over. I began to put on my shoes. “What are you doing Saturday?” he asked. “Melissa and I are going to the mall in the morning. and then we are catching a movie in the afternoon. You and Todd want to double date?” “You sure Melissa won’t mind?” I asked skeptically. “No, she’s cool,” he assured me. That’s why I like her. She won’t care. Besides, she’s already told me she thinks you’re cute.” He acted like he was getting ready to puke. “Sounds good, then. I’ll ask Todd when he calls tonight,” I replied. “One thing, though,” he grinned. “Don’t make out in the theater when you’re sitting beside us.” He began to kiss the back of his hand. “Guess we’ll have to sit behind you then,” I replied. “I don’t want to watch you and Melissa swapping spit either.” I started smooching the back of my hand. “Later, Dude.” He walked over and embraced me. We held each other for a minute. We then fisted and hooked pinkies. I walked down the stairs with a wide grin on my face and headed home. As I walked home, the night was crisp and cool. I inhaled deep breaths. It had been a long time since I felt so alive. There was a full moon out, and it illuminated my path ahead. I was thinking that at birth everyone should be given a big red button. When you experience that one time in your life when everything is just perfect, then you push the button and your life remains frozen in that period of time. This was my time. I had a boyfriend who loved me. I had a best friend who meant the world to me. I had a loving mother who accepted me unconditionally. I had even acquired a wonderful big brother. Yeah, for just this once, my life seemed almost perfect. I walked into a quiet house. I guess my mother had already gone to her bedroom. I locked up and headed up to my room. When I entered, I noticed a big red apple and a small card sitting atop my desk. I walked over and opened the card. It read: For the Apple of My Eye. I Love You. Mom. I sat down at my desk. Through teary eyes, I opened the control panel on my computer and clicked on desktop background. The End
  9. Ronyx

    Chapter 11

    (This section is written in the third person POV) Shaun was walking down the hall with his arm wrapped around Melissa’s small waist. Students were walking past them, occasionally exchanging hellos or nodding their heads. He had been with Melissa for over four weeks. It was close to setting a record for him. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm. He turned around expecting to see a friend’s face; but instead, he was staring into the glaring eyes of Mrs. Carson, Gary’s mother. He was fond of Mrs. Carson, or Mom, as she had insisted on him calling her on his second visit to Gary’s home when he was in the fifth grade. She had been a second mother to him, sometimes almost a first mom. His own mother worked all the time and rarely spent much time with him. She was a good mother; however, she wasn’t blessed with good maternal instincts. Mom had filled that role, and he never once questioned her love for him. There had been many nights he had fallen asleep in her lap during his numerous sleepovers with Gary. He would be on one side of her, and Gary would be snuggled on the other. When it was bedtime, she would help them up to bed and kiss them goodnight. When he broke his arm in the sixth grade while he and Gary climbed an oak tree in Gary’s backyard, it had been Mom who took him to the hospital and stayed with him in the emergency room. Mom had called his own mother, and after finding out he was all right, she said she would be there when he got home. It was Mom who held him and comforted a very scared little twelve-year-old boy. Now he was looking directly into the eyes of the woman he most admired, and a wave of guilt overtook him. This was the one thing he had been trying to avoid. Since his fight with Gary, he had missed Mom. He knew that one day she would ask why he wasn’t coming around anymore. He was sure she had heard the rumors about what he had said to Gary in the cafeteria. By now, the whole school knew the story. She held his arm gently and said, “Shaun, can I talk to you for a moment?” The look in her eye told him that it wasn’t a request. “Sure, Mom,” he responded. He whispered goodbye to Melissa, and she gave him a peck on the cheek and walked away. “In my room,” she directed. “This is my planning period. I’ll write you a pass for your next class when we are done.” “Yes, Ma’am,” Shaun replied sheepishly as he entered the room and took a seat in the front row. Mrs. Carson pulled up a seat and sat down, facing him. She asked, “Would you like to tell me why I haven’t seen you in over a week?” “No, Mom. I can’t,” he replied. How could he tell her that he had outed Gary to the entire school? In doing so, he had destroyed their six-year friendship. He realized that he didn’t hate Gary. He had been caught off guard by last week’s incident. Guys their age are taught to hate gay people. That had been the bantering in the gym classes since the fourth grade. Queers, fags, cocksuckers, butt buddies. All these words had been ingrained in him for years as dirty. When any guy innocently checked out the size of another guy’s cock in the shower, the teasing would be endless. So that night in his room, when he saw Gary staring sensuously into his eyes, he reacted instinctively. When he mentioned it to his friends the next day, it became a major issue. They had instigated his confrontation with Gary in the cafeteria. He had reacted childishly, and now he regretted it. Since then, he had left Gary alone and he hadn’t said anything to him. On several occasions, he had even told his friends to shut up when they started talking about him. On the day he returned to school and Billy and Robert began to harass Gary, he was about to jump in when Josh suddenly shouted out. “Why aren’t you Gary’s friend anymore?” Mom startled him from his thoughts when she questioned him. “It’s complicated. I don’t think you’d understand,” he muttered softly. “Is it because he’s gay?” Shaun raised his head and looked surprisingly into Mom’s eyes. She knew Gary was gay? “Yeah,” he answered timidly. The guilt was coming in waves, and for the first time he felt embarrassed. “He made a mistake, Honey,” she explained. “He never meant to hurt you. If he could take last week back, believe me he would.” “He made a mistake?” Shaun asked incredulously. “I’m the one that fucked up.” He put his hand to his mouth. “Sorry, Mom, that slipped.” He couldn’t believe it. He had ruined Gary’s life. He had outed him at school, resulting in him being beaten up. However, Gary was the one who was sorry! Mrs. Carson smiled warmly at Shaun. “He loves you, Shaun. You’re his best friend. He misses you terribly.” “I know,” Shaun stated. “But things are different now. We can’t be friends.” “Why? What’s changed?” “My friends would talk about me. They’d call me gay, too.” Shaun hung his head. As soon as he said it, he realized just how inane the comment was. “That’s more important to you than his friendship? You would turn your back on a friend to keep other people from talking about you? How shallow are you? You are going to have hundreds, maybe thousands of friends in your lifetime. But you will be able to count on one hand your true friends- those who will stick by you no matter how bad, as you say, you fuck up.” She reached out and gently held Shaun’s hands. Shaun looked up and met Mom’s eyes. He knew he had been wrong, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Things had gone too far. “I don’t know what to do. I outed him to the entire school. I don’t think he will ever forgive me. I know I wouldn’t.” “Talk to him Shaun, he might surprise you,” she said assuredly. “Gary has a very forgiving heart.” “I’ll try.” It was all he was able to say. He wanted Gary’s friendship again, but had too much happened? Was there anymore going back? Maybe going back wasn’t the answer, maybe they had to move forward. * * * * * * * * “Come here, you perv!” I shouted as I pushed Todd down onto his bed. “You pinched my butt in the hall today in front of everybody.” We had returned to Todd’s house after school to do our homework; but since no one was home to monitor us, homework was the last thing on my mind. I was more interested in taking a pop quiz on kissing, and we all know what was going to pop up! I leaned in and began to kiss Todd passionately. It felt so good, so right. I could lie here all day like this. Soon we began to grind our hard cocks into each other, and he began to moan in my ear. “We have to stop,” I said breathlessly, pulling myself off him and lying down on my back. Todd glanced at my dick poking through my khaki pants. A small, wet patch was beginning to form. “Why? It’s just getting fun,” Todd giggled as he pressed down on my cock, stroking me lightly through my pants. “Because last night after we made out in my room, I had to take a shower and jack off. Since my right hand is in a cast, I had to use my left. It didn’t feel right.” I began to blush as I remembered the fantasy I had about Todd in order to make myself cum. “Then maybe I can help you,” he replied shyly. He began to rub my crotch more forcefully. I closed my eyes and let out a slight whimper. When he began to unbuckle my belt, I wanted to stop him. However, my other head wouldn’t let me. I knew we weren’t ready for real sex yet, but a hand job would feel really good! “Lift your butt up,” ordered Todd. He unzipped my pants, pulled them off and threw them on the floor. My dick was tenting my white briefs. Todd gently stroked me through the cotton material. He was playing with my head to see if he could get anymore precum to soak through my briefs. “Lift up again,” he said. He pulled my underwear off, leaving me exposed to him. “It’s beautiful,” he said admiringly. He took my cock in his hands and began stroking me. He reached out and helped me remove my tee shirt. It was a little difficult because of the cast. I was now completely naked before him. He continued stroking my cock with one hand while rubbing my balls with the other. When he leaned over and began sucking on my nipple, I moaned so loud the neighbors had to have heard. Todd giggled and went back to licking my chest. He let his tongue travel downward and licked around my belly button. Then he traveled further, nibbling at my pubic hair. With my eyes closed, I was reveling in the feelings. My moans were becoming louder. Todd removed his hand from my dick, and a strange warmness engulfed it. My eyes shot open, and I looked down to see Todd sucking my cock into his mouth. He was careful not to scrape me with his teeth. It was better than any anything I had ever experienced while jacking off. It was better than my dream. I wish I could say I lasted for an hour, but I didn’t. This new experience had me feeling so excited, I couldn’t hold it very long. After about three minutes, I informed Todd I was going to cum. “Here I cum!” He pulled his mouth off, and cum shot out in giant streams. One flew up and landed on my neck. Another on my right nipple, and then several more hit my stomach. The remainder coated Todd’s hand. “Cool.” He looked up and grinned. He knew he had done a good job. “Not too bad for my first time,” he giggled. “Oh God! I’ve died and gone to heaven!” I said breathlessly. “That was fantastic!” He ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and cleaned the cum off my chest. He smelled his hand before he wiped it off. “Ew, gross!” I shrieked. He giggled again. “How did you know what to do?” I asked. “That felt really great.” “I’ve been practicing,” he grinned. “Practicing? On who?” I was starting to get upset. I thought I was his first. “On a carrot.” He was blushing bright red. “On a carrot?” I started laughing hysterically. “Yeah. When I met you, I hoped we would do something someday. I wanted it to feel good. So, I’ve been practicing with a carrot.” His face burned even brighter. “That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of,” I laughed. “But it worked. That was great!” He grinned widely as he lay down beside me and put his head on my chest. “I love you,” he quietly stated. I know my heart seemed to stop. After all the lonely years I had experienced, I thought I would never hear those words said to me by another boy. “I love you too,” I responded as I rolled on top of him and began kissing him. We made out for several minutes before I lifted him up and pulled his shirt over his head. He lay back, and I began to nibble at his little nipples as he had done earlier. Since this was my first time, I was trying to copy what he had done to me because it had felt so good. I wanted him to experience the same feelings. If I was a moaner, then Todd was a screamer. We could never have sex with anyone in the house. He was squirming all over the bed. I lifted him up and pulled his pants and underwear off. Forget the foreplay, I wanted him now! His dick popped out and I got the first glimpse of my boyfriend’s cock. The best way to describe it is cute, just like him. It wasn’t very big, probably five inches long and slender. To me, though, it was just right. He had blonde pubic hair and hairless balls. Eager to please him, I took it completely in my mouth. Todd screamed and rammed his dick deep inside my mouth. I loved the hardness in my mouth. I hadn’t been practicing with a carrot, but it seemed that I instinctively knew just what to do. I sucked him deeply several times before he began convulsing on the bed. I knew he was close. If I lasted three minutes, he only lasted two. Soon, I felt the head of his cock expand, and he let out a scream. “God, here it comes!” He rammed his cock to the back of my throat. I felt the first shot blast into my mouth before removing it and letting the rest land on his stomach. He didn’t cum as much as me, but it was still a nice load. “Fucking Awesome!” He screamed breathlessly. I laughed because it was the first time I had ever heard him curse. I looked into his face and grinned. “You liked that, huh?” “I loved it, just like I love you.” He leaned forward for another passionate kiss. When I opened my mouth, he began exploring inside my mouth, tasting the remains of the cum that he had just deposited there. We lay quietly for several minutes. Occasionally, we would kiss; but most of the time we just stared into each other’s eyes and smiled. “We better get cleaned up,” suggested Todd. “Josh should be home soon.” He blushed when he asked, “Do you want to take a shower together?” “Does a cow have tits?” I responded. I slapped his cute ass on the way out of his room as we ran naked to the bathroom. When we finished showering, we toweled each other off and ran back naked to his bedroom. As soon as we entered his room, we ran into Josh. He looked at us standing naked before him. Both our dicks were hard and pointing upward from the very thorough toweling we had given each other. He looked astonished. Then suddenly he began to smile. Soon, he erupted into laughter. “You Little Bros been naughty?” he asked with a wide grin. “Yeah!” We both said at the same time. We looked at each other and began laughing. We got another loud roar from Josh when we simultaneously grabbed our cocks and started shaking them at him. Josh held out his arms and we walked over to him still naked. He embraced us in a huge bear hug. He let us go, but not before smacking us both on our bare butts. We all burst out in laughter again. Josh left the room, and Todd and I slowly dressed as we watched each other closely. He walked over and buttoned my shirt while giving me little kisses on my face. When he was done, I did the same to him. He walked me to the door, and we embraced. “I love you, Todd.” I said as I gave him a gentle kiss. He returned the kiss and replied, “And I love you, Gary.” “I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me tonight before you go to bed,” I told him. “I will,” he replied. I kissed him one last time before I opened the door and left. I looked back when I was half way down the block. He was standing on his porch watching me. When I waved at him, he waved back. He was still watching me when I turned the corner and headed for home.
  10. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    OMG! I never noticed this. Now, Graeme, I'm going to have to go back to my other stories and see if this is a pattern. I just pull minor names out of the sky, and I don't know why -son is so prevalent.
  11. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    Wesley be like:
  12. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    It was a slow walk to school. The weather was getting cooler. The sky was dark and dreary, just like my mood. It had been almost a week since I had been to school. The incident happened on Friday, and it was now the following Thursday. Images of what had been said about me in my absence were messing with my mind. It could not be good. I entered the double doors of the high school and cautiously walked down the hall to my locker. I had traveled the journey hundreds of times, but today I was not that invisible soul marching quietly along unnoticed by loud, rambunctious students. Other students stared at me as I walked along with my head down. I could feel them staring even though I dared not meet their eyes. I could hear them abruptly end their conversations, and I could feel their eyes follow me as I walked quickly past them. When I arrived at my locker, Todd was waiting for me. For the first time this morning, I felt good. Just seeing him standing there made me feel safe. But my happiness was short-lived as Shaun walked by me. His locker was next to mine. We had been neighbors throughout our three years of high school. I always enjoyed seeing him every morning. We usually bantered back and forth, starting our day with a laugh. My exchange with Shaun usually set the tone for a fun day. This morning was different. He didn’t say anything hateful to me like the last time I saw him. He glanced a couple of times at me and Todd. I guess he was trying to decide if we were together. When he slammed his locker shut, I jumped. I guess I thought he was going to hit me or something. Todd was carefully watching me. I knew he had my back in case Shaun wanted to start something. However, he didn’t say anything. He just looked at me sadly and walked away. I retrieved the books I needed for my morning classes and closed my locker. I turned to Todd and asked, “You ready?” “Ready,” he replied. As we started to walk away, I noticed trouble coming our way. Billy Hanson and Robert Clayton were approaching. They were the two guys who had held me in the restroom while Josh hit me. They were members of the football team and friends of Todd’s brother. By the scowls on their faces, it didn’t look good. “Hey faggot, how’s the arm?” They both started laughing as they circled me, pushing Todd roughly out of the way. Everyone in the hallway stopped walking. They could sense a fight. I could see students running towards us in all directions, hungry for some early morning excitement. “Leave me alone guys. I haven’t done anything to you.” I was scared. I could feel my body shaking. I had to put up a brave appearance if I was going to survive. I didn’t want the reputation as a wimpy sissy to follow me around the rest of my high school years. “Yes, you did, Fag. You perved on us,” said Billy as they laughed and moved in closer to me. I flinched, waiting for their fists to make contact with my body. I was still sore from my earlier beating. It was going to hurt like hell. “Leave him the fuck alone!” Someone shouted from outside the crowd. I could sense movement as someone was pushing students out of the way to get to us. “Touch him, Mother Fuckers, and you’re dead!” Suddenly, Josh emerged from the crowd. He had his fists balled tightly and was red-faced with anger. He was prepared for a fight. Billy and Robert took a step back from me, but they didn’t back down from Josh. They stared angrily at each other. “What’s the matter Joshie, getting soft on us?” Robert spat. “You turning into one of them, too.” “Shut the fuck up, Clayton. I’ll take you out right here.” As he spoke to Robert, he was slowly stepping between me and his two friends. I couldn’t believe Josh Mathews was protecting me. “Yeah,” sneered Billy. “You and whose army? The way I see it, there are two of us and only one of you.” He began to approach Josh. “You don’t count too good, Shithead!” A voice shouted from the crowd. Carl Hobson then stepped forward and put his arm over my shoulder. Carl is the center on the basketball team. We have played together for the past two years. He is a star player, and it is rumored that several colleges would be scouting him this year. Robert and Billy looked back and forth between Josh and Carl. Josh had an imposing body, but Carl is tall- really tall. He towered over me as he kept his arm protectively around me. “Yeah, Fuckers! You need to go back to basic math.” Next, Bobby Watson emerged from the throng of students and stood next to Josh. Bobby is also a member of the basketball team. He sits on the bench a lot, like I do, but he usually gets a lot more playing time. He reached out and pulled Todd in close to him. “You got anything else to say, Mother Fuckers?” Josh got up in Billy’s face and poked his finger into his chest. “You come anywhere near Carson or my little brother again, and I’ll kick your ass so hard they’ll have to have a cleaning crew come in here and wipe your shit off the walls,” Josh spat angrily. Several students started giggling. “Whatever, Fucker,” replied Billy. He was trying to act cool and put on a brave front, but you could see the fear in his eyes. He tried to stare Josh down, but he quickly averted his eyes. “Come on, Clayton,” he muttered. “This piece of shit ain’t worth it.” He angrily looked at me, then he and Robert broke through the crowd and stormed away. Students began to disperse. They were disappointed that they hadn’t seen a fight. The tardy bell rang, and students began running in all directions. I knew that the confrontation would be the talk of the school for the rest of the morning. “Todd, you get to class. Carson you come with me,” Josh ordered while grabbing my arm and pulling me with him down the hall. Todd stood for a minute wanting to follow, but Josh hollered back, “Now!” He turned and headed off to class. He let go of the grasp he had on my arm and threw an arm around my shoulder. “We’ve got to talk.” That was the only thing he said as he led me in the direction of the gym. We entered, and he took me into a side room. It was the weight room where we came to work out after school. “Sit down, Gary.” He pointed to one of the weight benches. I walked over and took a seat. Josh paced back and forth. He suddenly stopped and knelt in front of me. “Look, Little Bro. I really don’t know what to say here. There isn’t anything I can say to make up to you for what I did. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since it happened.” Tears were beginning to form in his eyes. I knew he was opening up his heart to me. He was very vulnerable, and he was exposing all his feelings for me to see. Before me was one of the strongest and most athletic guys in the school completely devastated. “I couldn’t believe it when your mother came by the other night and talked me out of going to Mr. Snow. I still don’t understand. I beat the shit out of you, and you don’t want revenge?” I looked into his face and watched more tears forming in his eyes. I wanted to reach up and wipe them away like I did to his brother, but I knew better than to do that. “It wasn’t all your fault,” I responded. “I provoked you.” “Maybe you did, but I still shouldn’t have done what I did. Billy and Robert were there, and I guess I didn’t want to look weak in front of them. When you jumped me, things just got out of hand.” He hung his head and wiped away some falling tears. “Look what I did to you. You’ve got your arm in a cast, and Todd said I broke two of your ribs. Oh, God!” He lost all composure. I looked at his dejected body and my heart was breaking. I reached for his arm and held it. “I forgive you,” I whispered. “What?” “I said I forgive you.” This time a little louder. “It’s not that simple.” “Yes, it is. I forgive you. Sometimes it can be just that simple.” He looked up at me, and our eyes met. Man, he’s got those penetrating blue eyes just like his brother, I thought. “I know you’re sorry, and you regret what you did to me. Getting you suspended and ruining your future wouldn’t make me feel any happier,” I told him. “Maybe we can’t change what happened, but I can forgive you.” “Little Bro, you’re a very special guy,” he said as a smile appeared. “It takes a big man to do what you’re doing. If someone had done to Todd what I did to you, I’m not too sure I could forgive them.” I was really beginning to feel close to Josh. He kept calling me Little Bro. It made me feel good. I had grown up as an only child, and I had always wanted a brother. I always thought I would like to have been the older brother; however, being Josh’s younger brother was fine with me. I didn’t know what else to say to him. I did feel good about the decision I made. Josh really was a good guy. He just made a mistake. Unfortunately, I had been on the opposite side of his fist when he made it. “I still have to make it up to you, somehow,” he insisted. “Just keep calling me, Little Bro,” I replied with smile. “I like that.” We both stood at the same time. He threw his arms around me and we embraced. We stood there for a minute rocking back and forth. It was nothing sexual, just a bonding of friendship. Josh was the brother I always wanted. Josh was the first to speak. “We better get to class.” He let go of me and wiped the remaining tears from his face. My eyes were a little misty, also. “Yeah. I guess we better,” I said. “We’re going to be in a shitload of trouble. I’ve missed half of my physiology class.” “You think that’s bad,” he frowned. “I’ve missed most of your mother’s calculus class. I’m kinda at the top of her shit list right now.” “Maybe I can help,” I replied. “I have inside connections.” “I doubt it,” he added worriedly. I reached out and touched his arm. “Thanks for what you did earlier.” “Hey, you’re my Little Bro now. I gotta protect you,” he beamed proudly. “I may have to take you up on that sometime.” My smile quickly left my face. “I guess I’m the school fag now.” “No one is going to mess with you or Todd while I’m around. Don’t worry,” Josh said reassuringly. “You’ve also got Carl and Bobby watching your back. You have more friends than you think. Not everyone in this school is as narrow-minded as Hanson and Clayton.” “I hope so,” I said apprehensively. He asked, “Are you coming over to see Todd later?” “Yeah, we’re going to work on our homework together.” “He likes you a lot, you know?” “I know. I like him a lot, too.” Here come the red cheeks again. Josh pulled me into him and placed his arm around my shoulder. We walked out of the gym and down the hall together. It felt nice to have a big brother.
  13. If you've seen Carousel on Broadway, you'll probably hate this answer. I actually was thinking of Jerry Lewis when he used to close his Muscular Dystrophy Telethon with the song. It always brought tears to my eyes. A trip down Memory Lane: Jerry Lewis Sings "You'll Never Walk Alone."
  14. @Dr. John NYC Thank you for your kind comments, Dr. John. I recall smiling when I read your critical comment about therapists. At the time, though, you had no idea that I was going to involve a therapist. It was only natural for someone who was recovering from a tragic incident like Troy was. My husband and I are avid performing arts enthusiasts. We attend over twenty-five plays, musicals, opera and ballet performances each year. If there is a show, we're a go. So songs are constantly running through my head. Recently saw the musical Rent on TV, and I was singing the songs for days. When I wrote the scene where Troy sang at his graduation, only one song seemed to fit- You'll Never Walk Alone. (I've seen Carousel twice.) I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
  15. @GanymedeRex Thank you, GanymedeRex. When I start a story, it usually contains a few names jotted on a sheet of paper, and the characters are nondescript. But the fun part of writing is giving life to those characters. I enjoy creating them as much as you do reading about them. Occasionally, a character will unexpectedly appear and become significant to the story, like adorable little Lane in Birds Don't Sing Before a Storm. He was totally unintended and became perhaps my most endearing character. Everyone loved Lane. When he pulled back that shower curtain, he took over the story and changed Casey's life.

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