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Ronyx

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About Ronyx

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  1. Ronyx

    Chapter 18

    “Relax, Jack,” Tracy assured me. “I’m holding you.” I looked down and saw a warm glow emanating from around my foot. “Stand on your toes,” said Tracy. “I can’t,” I cried as I tried to balance myself. I looked past my foot and could see the earth shining below. I began to wobble, and Tracy put his arm around my waist to steady me. “You can do it,” he assured me as I attempted to balance myself on my toes. “Now close your eyes,” he whispered softly. “Feel the warmth around you.” I closed my eyes as he had ordered, and I could feel a soft breeze on my cheeks. I could also hear a gentle humming in my ear. I felt at peace. “It’s wonderful,” I remarked. Tracy moved away as I balanced myself on my toes. “I know,” he replied. “This is where I come when the world becomes too much for me to handle.” I said proudly, “I’m dancing on a star!” Suddenly, I began to wobble. I felt my foot slipping on the edge of the star. “Tracy, I’m falling!” I shouted as I began to panic. I knew if I fell, it would be a long hard distance to earth. “Jack!” shouted Tracy as my hand began to slip from his. I fell from the star, and I began a descent to earth. “Tracy!” I shouted but his voice was beginning to fade away. My heart began to pound, and I feared that I was going to die. Suddenly, someone wrapped their arms around me. “I’ve got you, Jack,” whispered Jeff as he kissed me gently. “You’ll be safe with me.” I felt that I was no longer falling. I opened my eyes as Jeff held my hand and we descended like eagles to the earth below. ****** I was awakened when a nurse came into the room around six to take my vitals. She seemed rushed, and except to ask me how I felt, she worked quickly and left. I needed to go to the bathroom, but I was afraid to ask her to help me because she seemed to be in a hurry. Just before seven, Dr. Vorhees entered the room. He smiled when he noticed that I was awake. “How’s my favorite patient?” he asked cheerfully. I jokingly stated, “I must be your only patient.” “I wish,” he replied. He looked at his watch. “I have eleven more people on my rounds this morning.” He lifted the sheet and examined my leg. When he lifted it, I let out a soft whimper. “Did that hurt?” “Just a little,” I replied. “It’s supposed to hurt a little,” he informed me. “At least we know there’s no paralysis.” “You mean I’m paralyzed?” I asked worriedly. He lifted my leg, and again I let out a sharp moan. “Nope,” he smiled, “Not if you could feel that.” I asked, “What about my other leg?” He pressed my foot, and I could feel the pressure. “I guess it’s okay,” I said with a sense of relief. He smiled and told me how lucky I was. After such an accident, many patients weren’t as fortunate. He examined my head where I had hit the windshield, and he examined my eyes with a small flashlight. “Everything looks good,” he announced as he lifted my right arm. “Are you righthanded?” he asked. When I told him I was, he joked that it would be a while before I could write again. “You’re going to have to learn to feed yourself with your left hand, too,” he added. “Doctor?” “Yes, Jack?” My face reddened when I informed him that I had to use the bathroom. “Pee or poop?” he asked. “Pee,” I said. “Good,” he laughed. “That’s the easy one.” He walked over to a counter, opened a door and took out a plastic object. He then walked over and handed it to me. “What’s this?” I asked as I examined it. He started to laugh. “It’s what you pee in.” “How?” “I’m going to leave the room for a minute,” he responded. “Pull back your gown and line up your penis to the tube.” I asked excitedly, “I gotta pee in this? Can’t you help me to the bathroom?” “It’s too soon to be walking by yourself to the bathroom.” He pointed to the plastic urinal. “For now, it’s that.” He left the room laughing. “Good luck. Don’t spill it all over the bed.” I couldn’t believe I had to pee in a plastic bottle. I opened my gown, lined my dick to the opening and let loose. It felt like I hadn’t peed in days. Before long, my pee was reaching the top. I panicked because I didn’t know what to do if it overflowed. I didn’t want to sit in a wet bed the rest of the day. Fortunately, I stopped before it reached the top. A minute later, a nurse came into the room and took it from my hands. She went into the restroom and poured it into the toilet. I was too embarrassed to say anything to her before she left. “I’m never going to be a nurse,” I promised myself. Ten minutes later, Dr. Vorhees peeked in the room and asked if everything was okay? I told him it was, and he gave me a thumbs up and left. A little after seven, an aide appeared at the door with a breakfast menu. She said since I couldn’t write, she would put down what I wanted for breakfast. After scanning the menu, I ordered bacon, scrambled eggs, toast and a glass of orange juice. She left and told me that the order would be ready in about twenty minutes. I was trying unsuccessfully to eat with my left hand when my door opened. My father peeked inside. He then rushed into the room, leaned over and hugged me tightly. When I moaned, he stepped away. “Did I hurt you, Son?” he asked worriedly. “No, Dad, I’m okay,” I assured him as I took my tray and placed it on the table beside the bed.” I looked behind him and asked, “Where’s Mom?” He informed me, “She’s in the lobby talking to Dr. Vorhees.” Tears welled up in his eyes as he said, “I couldn’t wait. We’ve been sitting in the lobby for hours. I had to see that you were okay.” He leaned down and again hugged me, though much gentler than the first time. He ran his hand over my head. “How do you feel, Jack? Are you hurting anywhere?” He lifted the sheet and looked at the cast on my left leg. “You gave me quite a scare last night.” “So, you were with me?” I couldn’t remember if he had been at the scene of the accident, or if I had imagined it. “Jimmy called me and told me you had been hurt,” he replied. Tears again welled up in his eyes. “When I got there, I thought you were dead.” He leaned down and hugged me as he continued to cry. I blinked away tears I felt forming in my eyes. I asked, “Where’s Jimmy now?” If he hadn’t threatened me, I wouldn’t have run across the street and into the path of the van. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “The police put him into the back of a patrol car. When his parents arrived, they took him down to the station. I called his father this morning, but no one answered the phone.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about Jimmy. He’s the reason I’m lying in the hospital bed, but I could still hear him crying after I’d been hurt. I could also recall Tyler holding me with my head in his lap until the medics arrived. I looked at the door when it opened. My mother entered and walked over to the bed. “How are you feeling?” she asked. She didn’t appear concerned at all. It was as if she had asked me that at the dinner table. I was lying in a hospital bed with casts on my arm and leg, and she didn’t appear to care. She stepped closer to the bed and peered down angrily at me. “You know you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t run away when I told you to come back last night.” My father grabbed her by the arm and forced her from the room. “We need to talk in the hall, Dear,” he insisted as he led her from the room. I knew she would be upset with me, but I didn’t think she would be completely uncaring. Instead of acting concerned, she seemed more irritated by the fact I was in the hospital. I suppose she was afraid she would have to miss work because of it. A minute later, my father entered. My mother trailed behind with a frown on her face. She walked over and sat down in a chair without saying anything to me. My father stood by the bed and examined the cast on my leg. “Dr. Vorhees said it could be several months before you heal.” I looked over when my mother cleared her throat. I jokingly replied, “I guess I won’t be playing any basketball for a while.” Dad laughed and responded, “Well, it’s not like you did before this happened.” “What?” I said. “Me, Tyler, Brian and Jimmy used to…” I stopped suddenly when I realized that they were no longer my friends. We had spent many hours playing ball in the driveway just weeks ago. Now that they knew I was gay, those days were gone. “We’re going to have to do some rearranging of the house,” he suggested. “You won’t be climbing stairs for a while.” He turned to my mother. “We’ll put a single bed in the family room for him.” She frowned but said nothing. I was becoming upset with her. She kept glaring at me. My father noticed and he positioned himself between us so I couldn’t see her. “Dad?” I asked. “Yes, Son?” “I have to pee.” I really didn’t, but I figured it might give my mother an excuse to leave. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to stay and watch me urinate into that plastic thing. I was right when she stood and announced she would be down the hall in the waiting room. My father got the urinal from the restroom and handed it to me. “Do you need any help, Son?” he asked. I laughed and said, “I think I can handle this.” When he continued to watch, I giggled and said, “Do you mind?” “Jack,” he replied. “You might as well get used to me seeing you naked. You’re going to need me to help you bathe.” I gave him a funny look when he started laughing. “And God knows how you’re going to shit without my help.” I smiled and said, “Have it your way.” I then pulled back my robe and began to piss. Dad watched a second before he stepped over to the window and looked out. I was embarrassed but there was little I could do. He probably hadn’t seen me naked since I was about seven, but I knew he was right. I was going to need his help to do many basic things for a few months. When I finished, he took the urinal and emptied it into the toilet. “That was fun,” he laughed as he returned to the side of my bed. I giggled and replied, “Wait until I have to take a shit.” “God, Jack,” he laughed. “I’m going to ask the doctor to give you something to make you constipated.” We broke out into laughter. The door opened and my mother entered and took a seat in the chair. Again, she said nothing to me. I could tell by the look on her face she was annoyed because she had to be sitting in a hospital room. Time seemed to drag on forever. We silently watched a movie on television. I dozed off several times. The medication I was on made me sleepy. Several times a nurse came in and took my vitals. Dad would try to talk to her, but my mother said nothing. Around ten the door opened, and Jeff and his parents entered. Jeff was crying, and his father was holding onto him so he wouldn’t fall. When Jeff saw me, he broke from his father’s embrace and fell onto the bed. “Jack!” he cried. “I was afraid you were dead!” When I winced in pain from his weight on me, my father pulled him away. “Be careful, Jeff,” my father warned him. “Jack’s got some serious injuries. Jeff started sobbing into my father’s chest as he wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry, Mr. Woolery,” apologized Jeff, “but I thought Jack was dead.” He continued to cry as his father and mother tried to comfort him. I looked over when my mother rose from her chair and left the room. I held out my hand to Jeff. “I’m okay,” I assured him. He took my hand, leaned down and kissed me gently. “See,” I smiled. “I’m not dead.” He leaned forward and gently rested his head against my neck. “God, Jack,” he cried. “I was so worried about you.” He stepped back and smiled down at me. I listened as my father explained my injuries to him and his parents. Jeff held my hand and teared up several times. I squeezed his hand tightly to let him know I was alright. Jeff’s father explained, “We couldn’t get him to go to school today.” He reached out and put his hand around Jeff’s waist. “He had to come here to see that Jack was alright.” “Well,” I said, “You can see that I’m okay.” “No, you’re not,” he started to cry. “You’ve got a cast on your arm and leg. You’ve got a big knot on your head, and your dad said you have several broken ribs.” I squeezed his hand tightly. “My doctor says I’ll be good as new in a few months.” I looked at my father and asked, “Didn’t he say that, Dad?” My father nodded his head. I giggled and told Jeff that he could come over after school and play nurse. His face turned a deep shade of red. I laughed because I knew what he was thinking. My father had Mr. and Mrs. Munson sit, but Jeff refused to leave my bedside. He continued to hold my hand. I kept looking to see how my father would react, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. After a few minutes, he excused himself to go see where my mother went. Jeff’s parents questioned me about the accident. They said that they had heard several different stories. Tracy had called Jeff, but he didn’t have much information. The entire time we talked, Jeff held my hand tightly. When I would look up at him, tears would appear in his eyes. I sat up and asked them if they could leave the room for a few minutes. “I have to pee,” I explained. “I can’t get out of bed, and I have to pee in a plastic urinal.” They rose and started leaving the room. Jeff turned to follow them. “Wait, Jeff.” He turned and looked at me. He smiled when I asked him if he could stay. I told him the urinal was in the bathroom. He got it and brought it to me. I placed it on the bed, and then I held out my arms to him. “Come here, Sexy,” I giggled. He smiled and leaned in to hold me. As he leaned forward, I kissed him. I thought it would just be a quick peck, but it turned into something more passionate. I could feel my dick start to harden. I pulled away and laughed. “You better stop, or I’ll never be able to pee.” His eyes widened when I pulled up my gown. I was half erect. He reached for the urinal. “Let me since I’m going to be your nurse,” he insisted as he giggled. When he touched my cock, it expanded quickly. “I can’t,” I laughed as he tugged to get it to align to the urinal opening. I stopped him when he started to jerk me off. “Oh, no you don’t,” I said. “You’re not going to get me turned on and then leave me laying here with a hard dick.” “It’s already hard,” he giggled as he gave it a couple of quick jerks. “We’d better stop,” I warned as I looked over at the door. The last thing I wanted was my mother coming in and finding Jeff’s hand wrapped around my erection. “Okay,” he replied. “I’ll go out in the hall while you take care of business.” He turned and left the room. I looked over and watched the movie that was still on the television. Within a minute, my dick softened, and I was able to pee. I started to doze off, but Jeff stuck his head into the room to see if I was finished. He grinned when I slowly opened my eyes. “Hey,” he smiled as he walked over to the bed. “Here,” I said as I handed him the urinal. “What am I supposed to do with his?” I laughed and said, “Drink it.” His eyes widened as I laughed and told him to empty it in the toilet. When he finished, he returned to the side of my bed, gripped my hand and held it. “We can’t keep doing this,” I insisted as I squeezed his hands. He smiled and said, “But I love you, Jack.” I sighed and replied, “We’ve talked about this, Jeff.” “I know,” he responded as he leaned down and kissed me. When he pulled away, he said, “I didn’t know how much you meant to me until…” He started to cry. “Until I thought I was going to lose you.” He leaned forward and buried his head into my chest. When I let out a whimper, he pulled away and apologized. He looked down and stated adamantly, “I mean it, Jack. I’m in love with you.” I looked up into his serious face. “Come here,” I insisted. He leaned in and kissed me again. Just then, the door opened, and my father entered, followed by my mother. “Jesus!” she hissed as she turned and left the room. My father walked over and politely asked Jeff to leave. He squeezed my hand before he left. Once the door closed, my father let out a deep sigh. “God, Jack,” he asked, “What is wrong with you?” “What do you mean, Dad?” “I’ve been working on your mother for days to accept what she saw between you and Tracy.” He shook his head. “And now, she sees you kissing Jeff. Can’t you keep your testosterone in check?” I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What’s that?” He shook his head and said, “Never mind.” He warned, “You’ve got to be more careful, Jack.” Tears welled up in my eyes, “I didn’t mean it to happen. It’s just…” I paused thinking what I wanted to say next. “It’s just what?” my father asked. “Don’t you kiss Mom to show her you like her?” “Yes, but…” “But what, Dad?” I was becoming angry. “It’s okay because you and Mom are straight, but I can’t because I’m gay?” My father shook his head and replied, “Jack, you just don’t understand.” “What’s to understand?” I asked angrily. “I can’t kiss Jeff or Tracy because I like them?” My father reached out and gripped my arm. “We need more time, Jack. This is something new.” I understood what he meant. I had hidden my sexuality from them, and I was careful to conceal the fact that I was gay. Until Tracy moved in across the street, they never suspected anything. I had hidden so far into the closet, and I constantly feared what would happen if the door was suddenly opened. Now, it had been opened, and I had to face the consequences. I looked up and grinned. “Well, if you guys would learn to knock on a door, maybe you wouldn’t see something you didn’t want to.” He shot back, “Maybe if you’d show a little more discretion.” Tears filled my eyes, and I cried, “What am I going to do, Dad.” “We’ll work it out,” he assured me as he leaned in and wrapped me in his arms.
  2. Ronyx

    Chapter 17

    I sat on the side of Tracy’s bed, and Jeff sat beside me and held my hand. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked worriedly. “Yeah,” I replied angrily. “Find me a new mother.” “What is wrong with her?” he asked. “Mom and Dad said she seemed alright after they talked to her Saturday.” “I don’t know why she’s acting like this,” I said. “It isn’t even like her.” Jeff suggested, “She must have a reason.” I shrugged my shoulder and replied, “I don’t know what it is.” Just then Tracy entered the room with his mother. She sat on the other side of me and held my hand. “I don’t know what to tell you, Jack.” She squeezed my hand tighter. “But why does she hate me so much?” I asked as tears started to fall down my face. “I really don’t know,” she replied. She stood and looked down at me. “I need to go have a good talk with her,” she stated angrily. “No mother should be acting like this toward her child.” I started to stop her, but she rushed from the room. I rose from the bed. “I gotta get out of her for a while,” I told Tracy and Jeff. When I turned to leave, they began to trail behind me. “Sorry, Guys,” I insisted, “but I really want to be alone.” They looked worriedly at me as I turned and headed out the door. I thought they would try to stop me, but they didn’t. When I reached the sidewalk, I looked across the street at my house. I wondered what Mrs. Craft was saying to my mother. I wasn’t sure there was anything that she could explain to her that would make her change her mind. As I walked away, a slight breeze was blowing. I pulled the thin collar to the jacket I was wearing over my neck. I considered turning around and going back to my home to get a heavier coat, but I didn’t want to confront my mother again. I really didn’t know where I was heading. I looked at the time on my phone. It was only 4:18. Since it was early, I decided to go to the mall and walk around. It took me about 35 minutes to get there. The mall was rather quiet when I arrived. I strolled around looking into windows. I saw a neat pair of sneakers in the window of a Footlocker, but I had no money to buy them. Before this week, I could have begged Dad into buying them for me. All I had to do was remind him what a wonderful son I am. Usually, the good grades and keeping my room clean would work. Now, though, I don’t think he would buy the wonderful son routine anymore. I looked down at the sneakers I was wearing, and I figured they would probably have to do until I graduated from school. By the looks of them, I don’t think they would last another two years. My cellphone rang, and I looked to see who was calling. It was Jeff. I know he was concerned about me, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I needed to be alone to try and sort things out. I’m sixteen, I thought to myself. How can my life be so complicated when it hasn’t even begun? Chills rang down my spine when I considered what the rest of my life might be like. Would the rest of my life be like this, walking alone and wondering what tomorrow might bring? I was certain of one thing- I couldn’t live the rest of my life like this. I reached into my pocket to see how much money I had. I had four ones, two quarters and three nickels. “Wow,” I said to myself. “I got $4.65. I’m rich.” I laughed out loud and headed to the food court. I hadn’t eaten lunch, so I decided to have an early dinner. Besides, if I returned home, I would have to deal with my mother again. I wandered into the food court and read the menus above each vendor. Since my funds were limited, I tried to decide what I could get for $4.65. After looking over my options, I decided on Gold Star Chili. I had enough to get two coney hot dogs and a small drink. The waiter behind the counter was cute, and he appeared to be flirting with me. I wasn’t in the mood, but I did think that perhaps I would return when I felt better. The food court was sparsely populated, so I didn’t have trouble finding a table where I could eat. Looking around, there were about five other shoppers eating by themselves, so I didn’t look out of place. I had just taken the first bite of my coney when I noticed three of my classmates enter. They were a boy and two girls in my grade. I had attended school with them since the first grade. The boy’s name is Murray Reynolds. He’s rather popular, but he doesn’t play sports. However, he is involved in just about everything else that doesn’t involve a ball. In the eighth grade I developed a secret crush on him. We shared several classes together, and I would always try to sit near him. However, I was too scared to get too close because I didn’t want him to think that I was weird or something. The two girls are Emily Fraser and Kelly Smith. Emily became Murray’s ‘official’ girlfriend in the ninth grade. They are inseparable in the hallways. At first, I was jealous; but then I realized that Murray was only a fantasy. Guys like him aren’t gay. Now we just nod at each other in the hallways when we pass with Emily’s arm wrapped around his. I watched out of the corner of my eye as they looked at the various vendors. Finally, they decided on the Chinese Emporium. It took them about ten minutes to get their meal. There was only an old woman behind the counter, and it seemed like it took forever for her to prepare their plates. After paying, they turned and looked around the food court for a place to sit. My heart stopped when Murray pointed at me, and they headed my way. They walked over and stopped before me. “Hey, Jack,” smiled Murray. “Do you care if Emily, Kelly and I join you?” Before I could respond, he pulled out the chair beside me and sat down. Emily and Kelly said hello as they sat down. Murray laughed as he noticed the coneys on my plate. “I like the hot dogs,” he said, “but the sauce they put on them tastes like dog food.” Emily giggled and asked him how he would know what dog food tastes like. “I tried it once when I was about six,” he replied. “My mother had just fed my dog, and he was woofing it down like it was so good. So, I grabbed a handful and shoved it in my mouth.” “Ewww,” giggled the girls. He laughed and said, “You got that right. I spit it out, and my mother washed my mouth out.” He laughed louder, “I learned my lesson after that.” I smiled at him. I still couldn’t figure why they had sat beside me. Surely, they had heard about the fight with Jimmy. By now, I was sure everyone knew that I am gay. As if reading my mind, Kelly looked over and said angrily, “Jimmy Taylor is an ass. I heard what he did to you.” She reached across the table and patted my hand. “Are you okay, Jack?” I had to blink away tears as I replied, “Yeah, I’ll be alright.” “He still shouldn’t have done what he did,” Murray said angrily. “You guys have been best friends for years. You don’t shit on friends like that.” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I guess he had his reasons.” “No, he didn’t,” responded Emily. “Just because you’re gay doesn’t give him a right to treat you like he did.” My eyes widened in surprise. She talked about me being gay as if there was nothing wrong about it. I figured by now that everyone in school would hate me. Afterall, they had avoided Jeff for years. Kelly looked over and smiled. “Don’t worry about it, Jack. Nobody cares.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t know,” I replied. “The past week has been pretty rough.” “Well,” responded Murray. “You got Jeff and that new kid, Tracy. They’ll help you through it.” I started to laugh. “Jeff?” I asked, “You guys have treated him like shit since he came out.” Murray grabbed my arm. “We were wrong,” he apologized. “Now that we’re getting older, we realize that we shouldn’t have treated him like that.” He looked over as Emily and Kelly nodded. He continued, “A lot of us have been talking, and we’re going to try and make it up to him somehow.” “I don’t know, Guys,” I said as tears once again welled up in my eyes. “He’s been pretty hurt. I don’t know if he can get over it.” Kelly said, “Maybe when he sees that you’re still our friend, he’ll change his mind.” “I’m still your friend?” I asked incredulously. “Why?” Murray laughed and replied, “I just told you. We’re older. We’re putting that lame shit behind us.” He puffed out his chest and said, “We’re the future. We gotta show the old folks just how bad they fucked things up.” Emily and Kelly started giggling. I just looked at him in amazement. I couldn’t believe that they didn’t see anything wrong with me being gay; and importantly, they still wanted me to be their friend. Murray held up his fist. “Friends?” I smiled and bumped fists with him. We spent the next half hour talking about school. Kelly told me she would help me with my assignments when I returned to school. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to make up the work, but at least I wouldn’t fall behind on what was taught. When they left, I sat for a few minutes at the table as tears fell down my face. I still couldn’t comprehend what had happened. Maybe we were getting older and we had to change. For the first time in a week, I felt that I could maybe face another day. I walked around the mall for another fifteen minutes and then decided to leave. I was bored. I wanted something to do, but I didn’t know what. The past few days have been stressful, and I just wanted to put things aside for a while. I could always go to Jeff’s house or Tracy’s, but we would only sit around and talk about the fight. I needed a distraction, but I didn’t know what that was. As I headed home, I felt a little better about things. Talking to Murray, Emily and Kelly helped me realize that maybe things could be better at school. They were popular, and if they accepted me, then others would follow their lead. I was also a little hopeful that things could get better for Jeff. Maybe they could convince others to be more accepting of him. I was two blocks away from home when I noticed Jimmy and Tyler across the street heading my way. I quickly looked around to see where I could run in case they wanted to confront me. I know that Jimmy has a bad temper, and I am sure that he wanted to get even with me for getting him suspended from school for ten days. I stopped when he hollered out, “Hey, Fag! Come here!” He began motioning for me to cross the street. I quickened my pace in hopes of being able to get ahead of him so I could run home. He and Tyler started to cross the street. “Leave me alone, Jimmy!” I shouted out. “I haven’t done anything to you!” A smirk appeared on his face as he stood in the middle of the road. “Yes, you have, Fag Boy.” He rubbed the side of his face. “Did you really think you could hit me and get away with it?” He started to rub his knuckles. “Now, it’s your turn!” I quickened my pace and was able to get ahead of him before he could cross the street. When I looked back, he and Tyler were running toward me. I tore off running, trying to get home before they could catch up to me. Suddenly, I felt Jimmy’s hand reach out and attempt to grab my shoulder. I ran faster and started to run across the street. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the blue van coming down the street. I ran directly into its path. I could feel my body being tossed across the hood of the car and into the windshield. I lay motionless as the van screeched to a stop. My body rolled off the hood and onto the street below. I was too scared from the impact to immediately realize how badly I was hurt. The driver of the van, a middle-aged woman, exited the van screaming and crying. She knelt beside me and kept asking me if I was hurt. I felt dizzy. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stay awake. I sensed that my injuries might be serious, but as I lay on the ground, I couldn’t comprehend just how badly I was hurt. Jimmy and Tyler knelt beside me, and Jimmy was frantic. He kept crying that he was sorry. Tyler sat on the road and put my head in his lap. I could see blood covering the khaki shorts he was wearing. Soon, I was surrounded by numerous people as they came out of their houses to see what had happened. I could hear them telling 911 where the accident had occurred. Before I lost consciousness, I heard Jimmy crying into his cellphone, “Hurry, Mr. Craft! Jack’s hurt real bad!” I’m not sure how long I was out, but the next thing I remember was waking up and realizing I was inside an ambulance. I could hear the siren blaring above. “Jack!” It was my father’s voice, and then I could sense him leaning over and hugging me. “Get back, Sir,” a voice warned. “You don’t want to hurt him.” My father held my hand as I tried to open my eyes. “Stay calm, Son,” my father said soothingly. “You’ll be okay.” “Dad?” “Yes, Son?” “I’m sorry.” I don’t remember anything more after that. ******** I was groggy. I couldn’t comprehend why I was lying in a hospital bed. I opened my eyes, but I was alone. I slowly was becoming aware of my surroundings. The first thing I realized was that my right arm was in a cast. I tried to lift it off the bed, but I was too weak. Memories of what happened began to flood my thoughts. I remembered Jimmy and Tyler chasing me, and I attempted to avoid them by running across the street. After that, I couldn’t remember much. I could recall hearing my father’s voice, and for some reason I could remember Jimmy crying and telling me he was sorry. However, everything else seemed to be blocked from my memory. My back was hurting, and I tried to adjust myself in the bed, but I couldn’t. When I attempted to move my legs, I couldn’t feel them. I looked down and noticed that my left leg was in a cast. Suddenly, the door opened, and a young doctor walked in carrying a clipboard. He smiled when he saw my eyes opened. “Good,” he said cheerfully. “You’re awake.” He walked over to the bed and looked down at me. “How do you feel?” I asked, “What’s happened to me?” “What do you remember?” he asked. As he lifted the bed sheet and examined my left leg. I told him, “I think I got hit by a car, but I’m not sure.” He smiled and said, “You did. Can you tell me anything else that happened?” I rested my head on the pillow and replied, “I don’t remember much. I just remember being chased.” “Who was chasing you?” “Two guys,” I replied. I wasn’t sure if I should say anymore. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t think that Jimmy and Tyler were to blame. I should have looked before running into the street. I asked, “How bad am I hurt?” “I’m Dr. Vorhees,” he informed me as he examined my right arm. “I’m your attending doctor.” He took out a small flashlight and examined my eyes. “Your injuries are bad, but they could be worse.” He pulled back the sheet so I could see the cast on my left leg. “You received a compound fracture from the impact of the van,” he explained. “You’ll be walking with crutches for a few months.” I looked down at my right arm. “What about my arm?” He replied, “You broke it.” He smiled and added, “I guess you can tell that by the cast.” I asked worriedly, “Anything else wrong with me?” “A few things,” he replied, “but nothing a few months rest won’t fix. You fractured a couple of ribs, so you may experience chest pain and difficulty breathing.” He examined my forehead. For the first time, I was aware that my head was hurting slightly. “You’ve got a pretty nice knot on your head. I guess that is from hitting the windshield.” I let out a whimper when he pressed on it. “We’re going to monitor you for a few days to make sure there wasn’t any serious damage.” He removed the pillow from behind me and fluffed it. He lifted me forward as he placed the pillow in place. “Why don’t you try to get back to sleep for a little while.” He looked at his watch. “It’s four in the morning, and I’m sure you’ll have quite a few visitors later.” “How long have I been here?” I asked. I wasn’t sure how long it had been since I arrived. It could have been hours or days. I didn’t know. “You came in last night,” he informed me. “You were in surgery for a couple of hours and then we brought you here to your room.” “I don’t remember much,” I confessed. “Of course not,” replied Dr. Vorhees. “You’ve been sedated most of the time.” He patted me on my leg again. “I’m glad you’re doing better. You should be going home in a few days.” He started to leave the room. “Doctor?” He stopped and turned. “Will I be alright?” He laughed and replied, “Well, you won’t be playing basketball for a while. But yes, you’ll be alright.” “Thanks.” He gave me a thumbs up and left the room. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I kept thinking about everything that had happened since last week. Is it possible for so much to happen so quickly? It began when my mother saw me kissing Tracy. And we weren’t just kissing- it was almost an X-rated show she saw. If they had waited a few more minutes before opening the door, we probably would have been naked on the floor in a 69 position. Things went downhill from there. She hates me. Even an intervention didn’t help. She doesn’t want me seeing Tracy and Jeff anymore because she thinks they turned me gay. She’s one of the reasons I’m lying in a hospital bed. If she hadn’t said all the cruel things she said, I wouldn’t have stormed out of the house. I wouldn’t have gone to the mall, and I wouldn’t have been walking home by myself. She’s partially to blame for what happened to me. If only she had been more understanding. Maybe I did disappoint her, but she is my mother. Shouldn’t she accept me being gay? There is supposed to be a bond between us. Don’t mothers when they give birth feel a certain responsibility to love and protect their infant child. Is it possible for a mother to give up that responsibility when a child becomes a teenager and isn’t what they hoped they would become when they were a baby in her arms? Fathers have a responsibility, but a child isn’t pulled from his womb. His duty was met nine months earlier. I could understand if my father turned his back, but my mother? I came from her body. For nine months I was a part of her. I don’t understand how she can reject me so quickly simply because I’m gay. I’m born from her and Dad’s genes. Every cell of my body came from them. Does that mean there is a gay gene, too? I don’t know much about this stuff, but if my eye color, my hair color, my build and other things come from my parents, then doesn’t me being gay come from them too? I’m not Halloween candy that kids get when they trick or treat. You can’t lay out what I am and sort through it removing the parts that you don’t think are acceptable. I’m who I am, and I can’t change that. Then why don’t they understand? Dad gets it. I know he does. He may not like that I’m gay, but he accepts that I am. He’s not trying to change me. He’s not telling me who my friends can be. He seems to genuinely like Tracy, although he did insult him when he first met him. But I think he’s gotten over that. I’m tired and I can’t think anymore. I’ve been through so much, and my mind and body are wearing down. Now, I have to deal with a broken body. I already felt that my mind was breaking. I’m not sure how much more I can take. If so much has happened in one week, I’m afraid what might happen in one year or even ten years. Right now, I need some sleep, but I can’t. I’m lying in a bed with a fractured arm and leg. My head hurts from the impact of the windshield. It hurts to breathe. The doctor says I’ll heal in a few months, and my body will be as good as new. But what about my spirit? It is broken, and I’m not sure that it can be healed. I want to dance on a star like Tracy says. It’s his retreat when things are bad, when he feels he can’t go on anymore. I closed my eyes and dreamed of dancing on a star.
  3. Ronyx

    Chapter 16

    “Dad?” He stood in the doorway looking down at me. Mrs. Alexander said, “Please, Mr. Woolery, come in and have a seat.” Tracy took another seat as my father sat beside me. He looked at the side of my face and asked, “Are you hurt, Son?” “I don’t think so,” I replied as I felt the side of my face. Mrs. Armstrong responded quickly, “The nurse is on her way to check for any serious injuries.” My father turned and noticed that Tracy had also been hit. He asked him if he was alright. Tracy assured him that he wasn’t hurt too badly. Dad turned back to me and asked who I had fought. “Jimmy,” I informed him. “Jimmy?” my father asked excitedly. “I thought Jimmy is your best friend?” “He was,” I told him. “He doesn’t like me anymore.” I could tell that my father understood, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to out me to Mrs. Armstrong. My father turned to the principal and asked her what had happened. She informed him that she still had to question a few other people, but that it appeared Jimmy had initiated the fight by throwing spitballs at us. My father asked, “Then my son and Tracy aren’t responsible for fighting? From what you say, it sounds like they were merely defending themselves.” Mrs. Armstrong looked over at Tracy. “From my initial reports, it appears that Tracy may have also been involved by jumping from his seat and confronting Jimmy.” Tracy rose and shouted, “But he was hitting us with fucking spitballs!” My father grabbed his arm and ordered him to sit down. “We’ll get nowhere,” he said angrily, “if you keep acting like this.” Tracy wanted to say something, but he didn’t. I think he was realizing that he was already in enough trouble. Mrs. Armstrong excused herself. She said that she had to finish her investigation before deciding what kind of punishment she would give each of us. As she was leaving, we heard her talking to someone. The door opened and Tracy’s mother and father entered. Mrs. Craft immediately rushed over to Tracy and inspected the swelling on the side of his face. A large bruise had already formed. I couldn’t see my face, but I was sure I had similar injuries. “Oh, my God, Tracy!” she began to cry. “What happened?” Mr. Craft sat beside my father as Tracy told them about the incident with Jimmy. When he finished, my father stated, “I just don’t get it.” He looked over at me. “Jimmy has been Jack’s best friend for years. He’s been at our house so much I consider him like a son.” “He hates me,” I responded. “He thinks I’m a fag.” Tracy looked over and said, “I told him what would happen when people found out he was gay. I know, it happened to me.” “People can’t be that intolerant,” Dad asked, “Can they?” “Yes, they can, Jerry,” replied Mr. Craft. “Tracy went through this at his old school. I was constantly in the office because he was always confronting students who called him names.” Tracy rose from his seat and stood before his father. “What am I supposed to do, Dad? Just take it when someone calls me a faggot or cocksucker?” Mrs. Craft grabbed Tracy’s hand. “Of course not, Dear. But what good does it do to fight them?” “I don’t fight them anymore,” he replied. “But when they do shit like throwing spitball at me, I’m not going to just ignore them.” “Is that what happened?” asked Mr. Craft. Tracy then related how we had been working on an assignment when Jimmy started pummeling us with spitballs. He then told them how he stood, confronted him and told him to stop. He said that Jimmy threw the first punch when someone pushed him into him. My father asked me how I got hit. I told him Jimmy hit me when I tried to stop him from hitting Tracy again. I described how I had lost control, grabbed Jimmy and we fell to the ground. Then I began hitting him in his face. My father looked over at Mr. Craft and shook his head. “It looks like all three boys may get suspended.” Mr. Craft agreed. “But why, Dad?” asked Tracy. “We were just trying to get him to stop throwing spitballs at us.” “You should have told the teacher,” replied Mr. Craft. “He would have handled it.” Tracy shook his head and mumbled, “This fucking sucks.” I thought Mr. Craft would say something about Tracy cursing, but he didn’t. Twenty minutes later, Mrs. Armstrong entered with Jimmy and his mother. A security officer came in and stood against a wall with his arms folded. The principal looked around the room and sighed. After shuffling some papers on her desk, she began to speak. “I’ve reviewed this incident,” she stated as she looked at Jimmy, Tracy and me. “As you know, I don’t condone fighting of any kind in my school.” “But…” Tracy started to say something, but his father gripped his leg and stopped him. She looked at Tracy. “Tracy,” she said as she looked at him. “I’m not holding you responsible for what happened in Mr. Glicker’s class.” I looked at Tracy as he sat back and seemed to be less tense. “Even though you should have handled the situation better, you don’t appear to have been involved in the fight.” She looked at Tracy as he nodded his head. “However,” she continued, “I have to deal with your behavior and language. Standing in a classroom and cursing will not be tolerated. Therefore, I’m assigning you two days of in-school suspension.” I glanced at Tracy, and his father still had his hand firmly planted on his leg. “Jack,” she spoke to me next. My hands were noticeably shaking, and I placed them under my thighs to keep them steady. “Even though Jimmy hit you, you did assault him.” She looked at his swollen face and added, “Causing him serious injury.” I looked at him and smirked. He tensed, and I knew he wanted to hit me again. “Your actions were more than just defending yourself. You intentionally tried to hurt him.” I wanted to say she was right, but I kept my mouth shut. She looked at my father and stated, “I’m suspending Jack for five days.” My father glanced at me and then nodded. I knew there was little I could say. In a way, I was happy to receive a five-day suspension by pummeling Jimmy for calling me and Tracy fags. He deserved it. “Jimmy,” she said as she looked at my former friend. He had his head down and refused to look at her. “Your actions precipitated this fight. We are sitting here because you childishly tossed spitballs in a classroom. Your actions were also filled with hate and bitterness.” When he wouldn’t look up, she asked forcefully, “Do you understand me?” He refused to speak until his mother elbowed him in his side. “Yes, Ma’am,” he responded. He looked up angrily when she stated, “I’m suspending you for ten days.” “Ten days!” he shouted as he looked down at me. “Look at my face!” He pointed to me and stated angrily, “That fag hits me, and you give him five days, but I get ten?” “Sit down!” shouted Mrs. Armstrong. Jimmy hesitated before sitting in his seat. His mother reached over and tried to hold his hand, but he quickly pulled it away. “If you use that word one more time,” the principal spat angrily, “then I’m going to go for an expulsion. Do you understand me, Young Man?” Jimmy tried to ignore her until his mother elbowed him in his side. “Yes, Ma’am,” he muttered. She glanced around the room at the parents and asked, “Do any of you have any questions?” When no one replied, Mrs. Armstrong announced that the meeting was over. When we exited her office, Tracy grabbed my arm and started to lead me away. My father said, “Jack, you’re going home with me.” He agreed that I could talk briefly to Tracy before we left. Tracy asked, “Are you going to be okay, Jack? I hate that you got five days and I only got in-school suspension. It’s not fair.” “It’s okay,” I assured him. “I’m glad nothing happened to you.” Tracy whispered softly, “I wish I could kiss you right now.” I giggled and replied, “You’re a perv.” I gave him a quick hug and told him I would see him later. I turned and followed my father to his car. I received the usual fatherly lecture. For fifteen minutes I had to listen to him explain how Tracy and I could have better handled the situation. I thought it was kind of hypocritical because when I was about six, he took me to a baseball game. The guy sitting behind us accidently spilled beer on my father when he stood and rooted for a play. Dad got in a huge argument with him. What he said was much worse than anything Tracy said in class. The guy ended up leaving and sitting in another area. When I arrived home, my father dropped me off and informed me he had to get back to work. He warned me to stay in the house and not go out until he got home. I knew I would probably get another lecture later. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any of my books from my locker before I left. I wasn’t even sure if I could make up any work while I am suspended. I just didn’t want to fall behind in my classes. My grades were good, but I’m not exactly Einstein. I didn’t want my grades to fall too much and jeopardize not being able to graduate with my class. I played a video game for a while, but I soon got bored. I then went over to my bed, lay down and fell asleep. I slept for a couple of hours until I heard the doorbell. I looked at the time on my alarm clock. It was almost three-thirty. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and headed downstairs. When I opened the door, Tracy and Jeff were standing on the porch. I smiled and said, “Hey, Guys.” Tracy asked worriedly, “Is your mom around?” When I told them I was alone, he asked if he and Jeff could come inside. I stepped aside and they entered. Jeff immediately hugged me. “I heard what happened, Jack,” he cried into my shoulder. “I can’t believe Armstrong suspended you for five days for what that shithead Jimmy did.” He reached up and gently felt my face where the bruises were. “Does it hurt?” he asked worriedly. “I’m okay,” I assured him. I looked at Tracy’s face. His was bruised as badly as mine. He nodded when I asked him if he was alright. I then asked what had happened when I left. “You know how everyone is,” replied Jeff. “Bunch of assholes. Most were happy you got suspended.” “I don’t get it,” I responded as I started pacing around the room. “I’ve been going to school with them since the first grade, and they are turning against be because I’m gay.” “I tried to warn you,” said Tracy. “Most people hate us.” “Got that right,” agreed Jeff. I asked, “But why? What did we do to them?” Tracy tried to explain, “We didn’t do anything.” He went over and sat on the side of the bed. Jeff and I walked over and sat down beside him. “I think most kids just want something different to talk about. I don’t think they really give a shit that we are gay.” Jeff nodded his head. “But we’re different, and it gives them something to talk about.” He looked at me and then at Jeff. “Jack, did you really care that Jeff was gay?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Not really,” I confessed. “Then why did you and your friends talk about him? I thought a minute and replied, “We really didn’t talk about him.” I looked at Jeff and added, “We just kind of ignored him.” Tracy asked, “But why?” “I don’t know,” I replied. “I guess it was because he was different.” “That’s my point,” Tracy said excitedly. “People don’t really give a shit if we are gay. They just like to mess with us because we’re different.” “But can’t some people really hate us?” I asked as I thought of the way Jimmy had acted toward me. Just a week ago, we were best friends. Now, he was fighting with me. “Yeah,” he agreed. “There are some people who are homophobes. Maybe it’s because of their religious beliefs, or maybe they feel threatened by us.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “Threatened?” “Take Jimmy, for example,” he responded. “What if he’s questioning if he may be gay?” I started to laugh. “Jimmy? Gay? I don’t think so.” Jeff suddenly spoke. “Didn’t you guys ever mess around when you had sleepovers?” My face started to redden. I didn’t want to admit that all of us guys at one time or another played around. We would jerk off together when we slept over, and a few times we dared each other to suck our dick. But we never did it as a group; and when we did, we swore that we would never tell the others what we had done. I always thought it was funny because Jimmy would threaten to beat me up if I told Brian or Tyler when I knew because they told me. However, it was never openly discussed among us. And besides, it was something we did when we were about twelve. As we grew older, it stopped. Jeff grinned and asked, “Well, did you?” Tracy started laughing when he saw how embarrassed I was. “Yeah, Jack. Were you and Jimmy a cream team?” “What!” I shrieked. Jeff looked at Tracy and said, “You know they were, or he would deny it.” “Come on, Guys,” I replied as my face continued to redden. “We were just kids then. It didn’t mean anything. It’s not like something we did yesterday.” “But you still did it,” replied Tracy. “Maybe it’s something that Jimmy regrets doing…” “Or still wants to do,” responded Jeff. “Listen,” I responded adamantly. “Jimmy isn’t gay. Neither is Brian or Tyler. Trust me, I would know.” “How?” asked Tracy. “How what?” “How would you know?” replied Tracy. “Until last week, they didn’t know you were gay. So how can you say they aren’t?” “I still don’t think they are gay,” I responded. Just then, I heard the door downstairs slam shut. Minutes later, I heard someone coming upstairs. My mother opened the door and looked in. Her eyes narrowed in anger when she saw Tracy and Jeff sitting beside me. “Jack,” she said angrily, “you’re grounded. That means you are to have no visitors.” Her voice became angrier as she added, “Especially these two.” I jumped to my feet and shouted, “These two? What are you trying to say?” I knew what she meant. I just wanted her to say it. She didn’t want me to see them because she knew they were gay. She tried to ignore me as she looked past me and told Tracy and Jeff that they had to leave. I wanted to hit her when she informed them that she didn’t want me to see them again. “I don’t think you are a good influence on Jack,” she told them. “What!” I shouted. “Not a good influence!” “Well,” she stated angrily. “You were never a problem until you started associating with the likes of them.” “I’ve heard enough!” I shouted. I looked down at Tracy and Jeff. “Let’s get out of here, Guys.” They stood and started to leave. My mother stepped in front of me and tried to block my path. “I told you that you are grounded!” She said adamantly. I stood before her and shouted, “I don’t give a fuck what you told me.” She reached up and slapped me across my face. It hurt like hell since she hit me where I was previously bruised. I pulled back my fist and was going to hit her, but Tracy grabbed my arm. “Let’s get out of her, Jack,” he begged as he tried to pull me from the room. I thought my mother would try to stop me, but I think she was too surprised that she had hit me. Before leaving, I turned and shouted at her, “I hate you! I wish you weren’t my mother!”
  4. Ronyx

    Chapter 15

    When we arrived home, I didn’t see Stephanie’s car in the driveway. I remembered her telling me when we were eating pizza that she and Darren had to head back to the university. They both had classes early Monday morning. I wish they could have spent another night because I didn’t want to spend it alone with Mom and Dad. Dad wasn’t going to be a problem. He seemed to accept that I was gay. He even embarrassed me about locking the door when Tracy and I make out. My face still turns red when I think about it. It’s going to be difficult to look him in the face for a while without blushing. I wonder what he would say if he knew that Tracy, Jeff and I were all three making out. Mom was sitting in the family room reading a book when we entered. I stopped and told her I was going to my room, but she didn’t even bother to look up at me. Dad patted me on my back and told me he would come up later to see me. Before closing my bedroom door, I could hear my father shouting at my mother. I felt like going downstairs and telling him it would be alright, but I decided not to. I didn’t want to cause more trouble between them. It was just going to be something we would have to work out slowly. Dad seems pretty confident that she will come around. When I sat at my desk, my cellphone rang. It was Tracy. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. “I’ve been waiting for you to get home.” “Yeah,” I assured him. “I’m okay.” He started giggling and then asked me to come to the window. When I looked over at this bedroom window, he was waving at me. I smiled and waved back. He asked, “You want me to dance for you?” “You better not,” I replied. “Someone’s going to see us. Anyone on the street walking by can see you.” “I know,” he giggled. “I think it’s exciting.” “We still have to be careful,” I warned him. “Jimmy and the other guys saw you last week. That’s why they’ve been acting the way they have.” “I don’t care,” he replied. “It’s a free world. If I want to dance in my bedroom, I can.” I laughed and said, “Not when you do it naked. That’s indecent exposure or something like that.” “They don’t have to look,” he laughed. “Seriously, Jack. I can dance for you if you want.” “Okay,” I agreed. “But keep your clothes on.” “Damn,” he muttered. We hung up and I watched as he stood in the middle of the room looking in the mirror. He looked over at me, took a deep breath and then started to dance. His movements were beautiful. Several times I held my breath as he twirled and danced around the room. I was sure he was dancing the part in the Nutcracker he had talked about. After about twenty minutes, he stopped and disappeared from the room. I walked away from the window and returned to my computer desk. Minutes later, my phone rang. “How did you like it?” asked Tracy. I replied, “It was beautiful. You’re going to kill it when you dance the Nutcracker.” “You’ll be there?” he asked hopefully. “Of course.” “I gotta go,” he said. “I have some homework to do before I go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” Before he hung up, he muttered softly, “I love you, Jack.” I looked at my phone and said, “Wow.” I couldn’t believe that Tracy had just told me he loved me. I thought we had a pact between the three of us that we wouldn’t get serious. It was supposed to just be friends with benefits, not love. Now I was confused. Did Tracy just say he loved me as a friend, or did it have a different meaning? One thing was for sure, I couldn’t think about love right now. Too much was happening too fast for me to even consider that. I liked Tracy, and Jeff, but I wasn’t ready to be in love with either of them. I went to bed, and surprisingly I slept well. Dad came in to check on me, but I pretended to be asleep. When I awoke, I wasn’t sure what may happen during the day. It had been a life-changing weekend. I was now out to my parents and sister. I had sex with both Tracy and Jeff. However, things didn’t seem that much different. At least my parents hadn’t kicked me out of the house when they found out I am gay. But now I have to return to school, and there is no way I am going to avoid other students not knowing that. Jimmy, Brian and Tyler have abandoned me as friends. The only two students who will talk to me are Tracy and Jeff. Students are already beginning to label me gay because I am associating with them. But my attitude now is- so what? It’s not like I’m anyone special at school. I’m not the quarterback of the football team or a star basketball player. I’m just me- Jack Woolery. I never had a lot of friends, so what if I do lose the only friends I had until last week. Jimmy and I have been best friends for years, but I am beginning to realize that was going to change soon anyway. It will only be a matter of time before he finds a girlfriend, and he will be spending all his time with her. Brian and Tyler will also begin dating. Then they would have tried to set me up with the friends of their girlfriends, and even try to get me to double date. I would have to do it, or they would wonder why I wasn’t interested. Then it probably wouldn’t take them long to put two and two together. There just isn’t anyway I would want to go on a date and spend the night with my lips locked to a girl’s lips. And what if she wanted more? What if she would try to get me to go all the way with her? If I refused, she would tell Jimmy and everyone in school about it. I suppose that sooner or later everyone would figure out my secret anyway. But I guess it’s not a secret anymore. And I’m sure that within a few days, everyone will begin to know. Especially if I hang around Tracy and Jeff at school. But I’m determined I won’t make the mistake I made earlier. I won’t avoid them just so I can protect my image. If I’m branded gay, then so what? It’s not like I care anymore. What can they do but talk about me behind my back? When I went downstairs for breakfast, my father was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the morning paper. My mother had her back turned as she cooked eggs in a skillet. My father looked up and spoke, “Good morning, Jack. Did you sleep well? I came in to check on you, but you were out like a light.” “Yeah, Dad,” I replied. “I slept pretty good.” My mother turned and placed a plate of eggs and sausage in front of my father. She glanced quickly at me before turning her back. I wasn’t sure she was even going to give me anything to eat. I could tell by the expression on my father’s face, he was also confused. She did, however, fix a plate and place it on the table. She then turned and left the kitchen. I looked at my father and asked, “Is she still mad?” He shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I guess.” He smiled slightly and said, “She’ll get over it.” “I hope,” I replied skeptically. We stopped talking when she reentered the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. She left again without saying a word. I looked up at the clock, and it was time for me to head out to school. My father asked if I would like him to take me, but I told him I would walk with Tracy. Tracy was waiting for me when I headed down the stairs. He was smiling at me as I approached. “Hey, Sexy!” he giggled. Again, I was confused by his sudden change. Last night he said he loved me when he hung up the phone, and now he seemed to be flirting more than he had in the past. “Shut up,” I laughed as I headed down the sidewalk with Tracy by my side. He remarked, “It looks like you survived the weekend.” “Yeah,” I replied. “Now I just have to survive the week.” “If anyone give you any problems,” he responded, “Just tell them to fuck off.” “And get the shit beat out of me?” He surprised me when he replied, “It will happen someday anyway.” I stopped and stared at him. “Has it happened to you?” He started walking briskly. I grabbed his arm and stopped him. “It has, hasn’t it?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I’ve had some problems.” “What happened?” He continued to walk without giving me an answer. “Tracy!” I stopped him again, only this time his eyes were tearing up. “What happened?” He begged, “Can we talk about this another time?” “Sure,” I said, “but you have to promise me you’ll tell me what happened.” He turned and walked away. We walked silently to school without saying anything more. I was worried that something bad had happened to him, and he might not tell me what it was. I followed him to his locker as he got out his books. As I waited on him, Jeff approached with a smile on his face. “Hey, Guys.” He threw up his hand and waved at us. We asked him how things were going, and he said he spent Sunday afternoon fishing with his father. I rolled my eyes when he invited us to join them sometime. “I have better things to do than stand on a bank and wait for a fish to bite,” I informed him. He laughed and told me that he and his father go fly fishing. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I guess they use flies for bait or something. As we were heading to my locker, I noticed Jimmy and Tyler heading our way. I tried to avoid eye contact with them, but Jimmy approached and stood in front of us. “Well, well, well,” he grinned as he looked over at Tyler. “Now we have three poofs in the school.” I sneered at him and said, “Just shut the fuck up, Jimmy. We ain’t bothering you.” He shoved his finger in my chest. “Yes, you are, Jack.” He laughed and added smugly, “Or should I call you Jackie.” Tracy moved closer to me, stood before Jimmy and muttered, “Why don’t you go crawl back under the rock you were under.” “Oh!” replied Jimmy with a laugh. “Poofie wants to act all big and bad.” Tyler started laughing. I grabbed Tracy by the arm and pulled him away. “Let’s get out of here,” I said. I looked over at Jeff and shook my head. “It ain’t worth it.” As we walked away, Jimmy hollered out loud enough for anyone around to hear. “You’re a fag, Jack! Don’t come around my house no more!” I started to flip him off, but Jeff held my arm down. I looked over and Tracy was visibly shaken. “Are you okay?” I asked him. He sadly shook his head and said sadly, “Not again.” He turned and hurried away. Jeff asked, “What is wrong with him?” “I’m not sure,” I replied, “but I think something bad happened at his old school. That’s the reason he’s here.” “I know he got outed,” said Jeff. “He never talked about anything else happening to him.” I nodded my head. “He told me the same thing. He mentioned something happening in a play, but he didn’t go into a lot of detail.” Just then the bell rang, and Jeff hurried off to class. After class, Tracy was waiting outside my door. “Hey,” he smiled. “I thought we could walk to class.” Jeff soon joined us. Jeff was excited because he thought a boy in his first period seemed to be eyeing him. Tracy looked at me and winked. He was thinking the same thing I was. When we arrived, Jimmy and Tyler were in their seats. We sat two rows in front of them. When the bell rang, Mr. Glicker told us to get our geometry homework out. He went around the room to make sure that we had completed it. I was glad that I had done it even though the weekend had been busy. He went to the front of the room and began to go over several of the problems. Suddenly, I was hit in the back of the head with a spitball. I turned and Jimmy was giving me a smug look. I then continued to listen to Mr. Glicker. Then, I was hit again with another spitball. I looked over at Tracy just as he was hit in the side of his face. He turned and shouted at Jimmy, “Why don’t you fucking stop!” Jimmy stood and responded menacingly, “Why don’t you come back here and make me fucking stop!” “Gentlemen!” shouted Mr. Glicker as he headed toward Jimmy and Tracy. By then it was too late. Tracy and Jimmy were standing in the aisle face to face. Tyler positioned himself so that Mr. Glicker couldn’t get past. Jimmy threw up his hands and challenged Tracy. “Come on, Fag Boy! Let me see what you got.” I shouted, “Tracy, don’t!” Just then, Tyler shoved Tracy into Jimmy. Jimmy threw a fist into the Tracy’s right jaw. I pushed Tracy aside and Jimmy hit me in the face. “Fucker!” I shouted as I charged at Jimmy, and we both fell to the ground. Like a mad man, I began to pummel Jimmy’s face. Suddenly, Mr. Glicker, Jeff and Tracy reached down and pulled me off Jimmy. Several other students grabbed me and helped Tracy pull me from the room. I looked back and saw Mr. Glicker kneeling beside Jimmy. Two teachers and a security officer came running down the hall. Mr. Hall, a math teacher, grabbed my arm and started to lead me away. Tracy held my other arm as we headed for the office. I could hear Jimmy cursing behind me as the security officer and another teacher held his arms. Jeff started following us down the hall, but the teacher told him to go back to class. “I’ll fuck both those faggots up!” Jimmy screamed. The security officer warned him not to say anything else. I looked over at Tracy. The right side of his face was red and swollen. “Are you alright?” I asked worriedly. He replied, “I think so. How about you?” For the first time, I became aware that I had been injured. I felt the side of my face, and it hurt like hell. Jimmy must have landed some punch. I looked for blood, but fortunately there was none. Mrs. Alexander came from the office and rushed toward us. “What is going on?” Mr. Hall informed her that we had been fighting in Mr. Glicker’s class. He told her it took him, another teacher and the security officer to break us up. I wanted to call him a liar because I was already in the hall when he arrived, but I figured I was already in enough trouble. She told Mr. Hall to take me to the office while she went to see Jimmy and the security officer behind us. We were waiting in the office lobby when Jimmy arrived. Mr. Hall and Tracy still had a tight grip on my arms. When Jimmy saw me, he tried to pull away from the security officer. “Let me go!” he screamed. I tried to hit him, but Mr. Hall pushed me against a wall and blocked me from moving. Mrs. Alexander told the security officer to take Jimmy to her office. She headed to a conference room nearby and asked Mr. Hall to bring me to that room. Tracy followed behind us. “Sit down!” she ordered as she pointed to a chair. I sat at a large conference table, and Tracy pulled out a chair and sat beside me. Mr. Hall folded his arms and leaned against the door. I guess he was going to block it in case I decided to leave. She looked at Tracy and asked, “Tracy, what is going on? You just enrolled the other day and you’re already in trouble.” I insisted, “He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Alexander. It was me and Jimmy who was fighting.” She asked, “And you are? I don’t recall seeing you before.” Her remark hurt my feelings. I had been in school for two years, and she didn’t know me. “I’m Jack Woolery,” I replied. “Jack Woolery?” She gave me a puzzled look. “Is Stephanie Woolery your sister?” “Yes, Ma’am.” “She was a very nice young lady,” she stated. “I never had to deal with her getting in trouble.” Tracy interrupted, “You have this wrong, Mrs. Alexander.” He looked over at me. “Jack didn’t do anything. We were doing our assignment and Jimmy kept tossing spit balls at us.” She gave him a skeptical look. “Then why did Jack and Jimmy have to be escorted by staff to the office if all that happened was a few spit wads being thrown.” Tracy replied adamantly, “You wouldn’t want someone throwing their spit at you, would you?” “Of course not, but…” Tracy continued, “All we did was turn and tell him to stop it.” Her eyes narrowed as she asked, “And how did you tell him to stop it?” Tracy’s face reddened slightly as he replied, “We may have used a couple of bad words.” His voice grew angrier when he stated, “But he called us faggots!” She seemed surprised by Tracy’s comment. She looked at Mr. Hall and asked him if he could remain a few more minutes while she went to talk to Mr. Glicker. He nodded his head. When she had left the room, he said, “I’m going to wait outside. Don’t you guys get into any more trouble.” We nodded as he closed the door. Tracy immediately leaned over, hugged me and kissed me on my lips. I pulled away and squealed, “Tracy! We’re in enough trouble!” “But I’m worried about you,” he replied as he felt the side of my face. “Does it hurt?” Talking to Mrs. Armstrong, I had almost forgotten that Jimmy hit me. I raised my hand to my face and felt where it was swollen. I then reached over and touched Tracy’s face. Tears filled my eyes as I gently touched the bruise and swelling on his face. “That bastard hurt you, too.” He smiled and then leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “I’m okay, Baby,” he insisted. I was surprised because it was the first time he had ever said anything like that. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. I had never thought about another boy calling me words like that. I asked worriedly, “What do you think is going to happen?” “If it’s like the past,” he replied worriedly, “then we’ll probably get suspended.” “Like the past?” He gave me a worried look and said, “I used to get in a lot of fights at my old school.” He shook his head. “I got tired of being called a fag all the time.” “So, you fought with them?” “Yeah,” explained Tracy. “After a while I got used to it and started to ignore them.” “That’s hard to do,” I replied. “You have to,” he said as he looked around the room, “or you’ll be sitting here every day.” “Dad’s going to kill me when I get suspended,” I groaned. “After everything that happened this weekend, and now this.” Tracy reached down and grabbed my hand. “It’s not going to get any better, at least for a while. You might as well get used to it.” He was still holding my hand when the door opened, and Mrs. Armstrong entered. Tracy let go of my hand, but not before Mrs. Armstrong noticed. She sat across from us at the conference table. “I’ve talked to Mr. Glicker,” she began, “and it appears that Jimmy started this whole incident. However…” her eyes narrowed in anger, “you two are still not entirely without responsibility.” We looked at each other as she continued, “Cursing in a classroom and jumping up and hitting someone warrants discipline.” Tracy angrily stated, “But he hit us with spitballs and called us faggots!” “Yes, he did,” responded Mrs. Armstrong. “And he will likewise be punished.” Tracy asked angrily, “What are you going to do to us?” “The first thing I’m going to do is have the nurse come in and look at your faces.” She looked worriedly at us. “Both of you were hit rather severely.” She rose from her seat and approached us. She examined us carefully. “Do you hurt?” “Of course, we hurt,” replied Tracy sarcastically. “Wouldn’t you if someone as big as Jimmy knocked the shit out of you?” Mrs. Armstrong’s eyes narrowed as she warned Tracy, “Language, Young Man.” Tracy stood and looked challenging at the principal. I saw a look of anger I had never seen before. I was beginning to understand why he had trouble at his former school. “We get spitballs thrown at us, get called fags and then get the shit knocked out of us…” Tears started to fill his eyes. “And we are going to get into trouble?” Mrs. Armstrong pointed to a seat and shouted, “Sit down, Tracy!” I reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him into his seat. “You’re making this difficult,” she stated angrily. “I’m trying to be fair. I have to get all the facts, and then I’ll decide what to do.” She spoke a little more softly. “At the moment, I just think that everyone had a part in what happened.” She looked sympathetically at Tracy and asked, “Don’t you think so, Dear?” Tracy looked at me and muttered, “It still isn’t fair.” I asked worriedly, “What is going to happen?” Before she could respond, the door opened, and my father entered.
  5. Ronyx

    Chapter 14

    After we got dressed, I walked over to the window and looked across the street. Since it had been over an hour since the ‘intervention’ began, I wondered what was happening inside. I could imagine Mom, Dad, Stephanie, Darren, Mr. and Mrs. Craft and Mr. and Mrs. Munson sitting around the dining room table talking about me. The odds seemed favorable to me. It was six against two. Then again, it could be seven against one- my mother. After seeing the horrified look on her face when she saw me and Tracy, I tried to imagine what she was feeling. It had to be one of the most shocking things she had ever seen. Her ‘straight’ teenage son locked in an embrace with his ‘gay’ neighbor with his hand stuck inside his pants. From her viewpoint I could understand why she would be upset. My only problem was figuring out how to make her accept what she had seen. And that wasn’t going to be easy. I remember last year a joke going around school when someone mentioned Hal Compton having a crush on Liz Stamper. Liz is a beautiful cheerleader of the boys’ basketball team. Hal is, how can I say this without sounding extremely rude? I guess he’s what everyone imagines as the school nerd. He’s big and rather heavy. His hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in months, and he could use a rather large dose of underarm deodorant. Anyway, Jonathan Mercer made a joke about Hal staring at Liz in algebra school. He said that Hal got hard, and he seemed to be playing with himself. Cindy Woods screamed out, “Eye Bleach!” and the table erupted in laughter. Since then, we yell that when we see something that we wish we hadn’t. I suppose that is what my mother wanted to scream when she looked into Tracy’s room and saw us making out. “Eye Bleach!” she probably screamed all the way back to our house. Now though, I wish there was such a thing to erase the imagine she saw. Jeff walked up beside me and asked, “Are you okay, Jack?” I responded, “I wonder what is happening?” I froze when I saw the front door open and Darren walk out. He stopped on the porch and looked up at Tracy’s window. He saw me and Jeff looking down at him. He stepped off the porch and headed across the street. When the doorbell rang, Tracy left the room to answer it. A minute later, Darren was standing in the doorway. He asked Tracy and Jeff, “Can I speak to Jack alone?” “Sure,” they responded as they left the room and closed the door behind them. Darren walked over to the bed and sat down. He patted the bed and asked me to sit beside him. I sat and looked at him worriedly. “What is going on?” He sighed deeply and attempted a smile. “It’s going to be okay, Jack.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I asked, “Do they hate me?” He patted my leg and assured me, “No, they don’t hate you.” I worriedly asked, “So, what’s going to happen now?” “We talked to them,” he explained. He smiled slightly and said, “Now, I think it is time for you to talk to them.” I jumped to my feet and asked, “What? Now?” He rose and faced me. “Jack,” he insisted, “It isn’t going to get any easier if you wait.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. “Now is as good a time as any.” I stopped and replied worriedly, “What do I say?” “We told them how you’re feeling,” he explained. “We tried to get them to understand what you’re going through. I think it is time for you to let them know.” He reached for my hand and pulled me from the room. This time I didn’t resist. Tracy and Jeff were waiting downstairs for us. They gave me a worried look when Darren and I left the house. When we stepped out onto the porch, Mr. and Mrs. Craft were returning from across the street. Mrs. Craft approached and hugged me. “Be strong, Jack,” she said softly to me. I nodded my head, took a deep breath and walked across the street with Darren at my side. When I entered, Jeff’s parents were sitting in the family room with my mother and father. Both looked at me, but I couldn’t really tell from the expression on their faces what they were thinking. Jeff’s father rose and shook my father’s hand. “It was nice meeting you, Stan.” He turned to my mother and hugged her. “You too, Sharon.” Mrs. Munson walked over and hugged my mother and whispered something in her ear. My mother nodded as she glanced over at me. They both hugged me as they left, but they said nothing. “Yes, well,” said Darren nervously. “I guess I’ll go upstairs and see what Stephanie is doing.” He patted me on my arm and then disappeared upstairs, leaving me alone with my parents. We stood awkwardly looking at each other. My father laughed slightly and said, “I think I need a beer.” I was surprised when my mother asked him to bring her one. She rarely drinks. She walked over to the sofa and sat down. I looked nervously around the room, and then I sat down in a rocker. We looked at each other but said nothing. What was there to say? I wasn’t sure what had been discussed earlier. I was still struggling with what I was feeling. I know I am gay, that I’m sure of. But what more is there to say? I’m not sure how I should be feeling. Besides, I couldn’t understand why this is such a big event. I don’t feel there is anything wrong with me. Yet, eight people had to have an ‘intervention’ to discuss ‘my problem.’ The more I sat in awkward silence with my mother, the more upset I was becoming. I’m not any different than I was yesterday, other than my parents now knowing about my ‘secret.’ I was becoming angrier with myself because even I had considered it a secret that I felt had to keep to myself. So that must have meant that I thought being gay was wrong, something that I had kept hidden from everyone- my parents, my sister, Jimmy, my friends and classmates. I had even tried for a while to hide it from two gay friends, Tracy and Jeff. I couldn’t admit to them that I was gay. My father entered and handed my mother a beer. She took it and remarked, “I really need this.” That angered me even more. My own mother had to have a drink to accept her son. My father sat down in a chair beside me. He leaned forward and started to speak. “Now, Son…” I looked him in the eye and said adamantly, “I’m gay.” “We know you are…” he said before I interrupted him again. “I’m gay, Dad.” I looked over at the astonished look on my mother’s face and said, “I’m gay, Mom.” I had to hold my hands together because they were trembling. “I’m gay,” I said more forcefully. “It’s who I am. I can’t change that.” My father just stared at me. I don’t think he knew how to respond. I looked over at my mother as she began to cry. I asked her, “Why are you crying?” She sobbed, “You can’t be gay.” She wiped tears from her eyes and added, “Tracy is to blame for all this.” I jumped to my feet and yelled, “What! Leave Tracy out of this. He has nothing to do with this!” My mother started to say, “But you were okay until…” “This is bullshit!” I shouted. “You’re just trying to find excuses now.” “Sit down, Jack!” hollered my father. Tears started to fall down my face. “Fuck this shit!” I cried. “I knew you’d act like this. You hate me now!” I turned, ran from the room, vaulted up the stairs to my bedroom and slammed the door shut. I fell across my bed and continued to cry. Minutes later, I heard someone enter my room. I didn’t even look at the door because I figured it was probably Darren. He must have heard the shouting downstairs and he was coming in the check on me. I then heard my father’s angry voice. “Just what gives you the right to think you can shout at and your mother and me that way?” When I didn’t respond, he sat down beside me. “Look at me, Jack,” he ordered. I rolled over with tears still running down my face. “You hate me. I know it!” I sobbed. My father reached down and pulled me into his arms. “Oh, Jack,” his voice began to quiver. “Your mother and I don’t hate you.” “Yes, you do,” I mumbled into his shoulder. “You hate me because I’m gay.” He continued to rock me as we both wept. “I love you, Jack,” cried my father. “I could never hate my own son.” “But Mom does,” I responded tearfully. “I know she does.” “Your mother still loves you,” he assured me. “She’s just upset by what she saw. We had no idea that you were like that.” I pulled away. “Like what?” I watched as he fought for an answer. “Well, Dad? Like what? Like something is wrong with me?” He replied apologetically, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Of course, there is nothing wrong with you.” I rose from the bed, stared down at him and responded, “Then why are we talking about this? Why can’t you just accept that I’m gay?” “It’s not that easy, Jack,” he replied. “Why?” He gave me a puzzled look and said, “I don’t know. It’s just not.” I looked down at him and asked again, “Why?” He looked up and replied, “I don’t have an answer for that.” “Why?” He rose from the bed, looked sadly at me and left the room. I went over to the closet where I had thrown my bookbag when I came home from school on Friday. I had a literature assignment to do. I was tired of dealing with the whole situation. Since Friday night when my mother saw me kissing Tracy, I spent every minute dealing with it. Well, except the two times I had sex, once with Jeff, and then the threesome we did earlier. I thought to myself, ‘if gay sex is so bad, then why do I enjoy it so much?’ And I did enjoy it. It didn’t make me feel dirty or perverted. Maybe it was getting a little bit out of hand. It seems like I wanted to do it without any regard to how it might affect me emotionally. But then again, I’m only sixteen. I’m not looking for a guy to marry. I’m just looking for a little fun while I can enjoy it. Later, I know I’ll fall in love and commit myself to just one guy. Right now, I just want to enjoy it while I can. Of course, I could never admit this to my mother and father. Maybe someday they will accept the fact I’m gay. However, they will never be able to accept the fact I’m having sex with another boy. I guess it is like me not wanting to think about them grinding in bed together. Oh God, I can’t believe I just thought about that! So, I guess for us to live under the same roof, we’ll just have to forget about the sex aspect of this whole thing. I mean, I’m not going to stop having sex with Tracy and Jeff if I want to. I just won’t throw that aspect up in their face. Mom already saw me kissing Tracy while I had my hands inside his shorts. If she could just get past that image, then maybe things will be alright. I started reading The Grapes of Wrath. God, talk about boring. I don’t know why teachers assign us to read books that was written about The Great Depression. Teenagers are already dealing with problems of their own; and if they are like me, they get depressed a lot. So, what good is it to read about a family struggling during the Dust Bowl? I know it sounds cruel, and it helps us understand history just a little better- at least that is what teachers try to explain as they assign us boring books to read. But I think they should have us read something that is a little more cheerful. Last year we had to read short stories by Edgar Allen Poe. Before we started on the unit, Mr. Lassiter told us that Poe was an alcoholic, and he occasionally smoked opium. He explained that is why many of Poe’s stories are so dark. I thought it was ironic because he has posters on his wall that warns us to stay away from drugs and alcohol. And adults wonder why we are so messed up. I had been reading for about a half hour when someone knocked lightly on my door. I was afraid it might be Dad coming back to ground me for being so rude earlier. “Come in!” I hollered out. One thing I am glad about is that my parents never enter my room without my permission. Mom even warned me last year that she will only come in my room to clean and change by bedding on Tuesdays. So, if I don’t want her to see something, then I should put it away. My face reddened because I think she was talking about the washcloths I keep under the bed. When they get too stiff, I take them with me when I shower and wash them. The door opened and Stephanie and Darren entered. I sat up, and they sat down on the bed beside me. Stephanie ran her hand through my hair and asked, “How are you doing?” I replied, “Okay, I guess.” I held up the book I was reading and added, “Just reading this stupid book.” Darren took the book from my hand and exclaimed, “Grapes of Wrath! I loved reading this.” When I rolled my eyes, he laughed and said, “Not!” He gave me a serious look and asked, “Are you okay, Jack?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I suppose. It hasn’t exactly been the best day of my life.” He put his hand on my knee, squeezed it and assured me, “It gets better.” Stephanie grabbed my hand and said, “Are you hungry? Do you want to go get something to eat?” I looked at the clock. It was almost six o’clock. I didn’t realize it was so late. “Sure, I guess,” I replied. She asked me where I would like to eat, and I suggested going somewhere for pizza. As we were leaving the room, Stephanie gripped my arm and stopped me. She looked skeptically at me as she asked, “Can I ask Mom and Dad to join us?” I wasn’t sure how to respond. I knew that sooner or later I would have to confront my parents again. Our earlier encounter hadn’t worked out very well. Perhaps it would be better if Stephanie and Darren were present when I did. “Okay,” I replied nervously. “I guess.” She smiled and said, “You and Darren go get in the car. I’ll tell Mom and Dad to meet us at the Pizza Shack.” When we got downstairs, Darren put his hand on my back as we left the house and headed to my sister’s car. The Pizza Shack was crowded when we arrived. We had to wait about twenty minutes for a table. Stephanie, Darren and my father stood beside me, and we would chat occasionally about nothing important. Dad spent most of the time asking Darren questions about his life. I thought it was interesting that his father was an obstetrician and his mother was a radiologist. However, he was majoring in music and theater instead of medicine. My mother stood away from us and talked to another family waiting in line. Occasionally, she would glance over at me and then look away. I knew that my father wasn’t going to be a problem. A few times he reached out and touched my arm when he was talking to Darren. I was feeling that he was accepting that I was gay, and he was going to treat me like nothing had happened. My mother was going to be more difficult. In fact, watching her glance at me out of the corner of her eye, I wasn’t sure our relationship could ever be normal again. A young server approached and told Darren that our table was ready. Fortunately, it was in the middle of the restaurant where we would have little privacy. At least we wouldn’t be talking about my ‘problem’ with so many people around us. I tried to sit between my father and Darren, but Stephanie sat in the seat. I think she did it intentionally so I would have to sit beside my mother. When I hesitated to sit, she nodded her head for me to take my seat. I also noticed that my mother hesitated before sitting down. We ordered two large pizzas, bread sticks and salads. The server apologized and told us we might have a longer wait time since it was so crowded. She did bring our drinks to the table right away. My father continued to talk to Darren. I was surprised when he asked him about his boyfriend, Clayton. Darren explained how he and Clayton had met their junior year of high school, and they enrolled in college together. I almost spit out my soda when my sister remarked that perhaps I would find a boyfriend and we could go to the same college. My father seemed at first surprised when she said it, but he quickly gained his composure. He looked over at me, smiled and said, “Well, he’ll have to find a boyfriend first.” My mother loudly cleared her throat, pushed herself from the table and announced, “I have to go to the bathroom.” My sister rose and followed her down the aisle as she stormed away. My father shook his head and said, “Give her some time, Jack. She’ll come around.” I replied sadly, “I’m not sure. She acts like she can’t stand to look at me.” “You’re going to get that a lot,” remarked Darren. “We’ve come a long way in recent years, but there are still some people who are slow to accept that the world is changing.” “But I don’t get it,” I responded. “She’s never acted like this before.” My father looked over and studied me for a minute. I could tell he wanted to tell me something, but he probably didn’t want to do it in a crowded restaurant. Finally, he said, “When we get home, we have to have a talk.” I nodded my head. My mother returned, but she didn’t say anything to me. In fact, she ate without saying anything to anyone. It was as if she was in a world of her own. She seemed so distant from everyone, and she couldn’t wait for dinner to end. As we were leaving the restaurant, my father asked if Darren and Stephanie could take my mother home. He said he wanted me to ride with him. I was puzzled why he wanted me to ride alone with him, then I remember that he had told me he had something he wanted to tell me. “How about some ice cream?” he asked as we drove away. I replied, “We just ate.” I rubbed my stomach. “I’m full.” He laughed and said, “There’s always room for Chunky Monkey.” My father is a huge fan of Ben and Jerry’s. He stops often on his way home from work with a couple of cartons of Chunky Monkey ice cream. We pulled up in front of the ice cream parlor. After entering, I sat down at a table while he went to the counter and ordered. A few minutes later, he sat down and pushed a cup with two scoops ice cream with whipped cream. I complained, “I’m not hungry.” “Nonsense,” he replied. “You’re a growing teenage boy.” I giggled and responded, “Yeah, but I don’t want to end up with a Dad bod like you.” He smiled and replied, “Smart ass. Just for that, I hope you grow up to be a big, fat man.” “Like you?” He laughed, looked around and then leaned toward me. “I brought you here so we can talk.” “About what?” “Your mother has very maternal instincts,” he started. “What’s that?” “She feels very strongly about being a mother. It’s the most important thing to her. You, Stephanie and Karen have always been her life.” “Could have fooled me,” I responded sarcastically. “You have to understand,” he continued. “She was raised by what I call old school.” “What’s that?” “She was raised with the belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. They fall in love and have children.” He looked worriedly at me and stated, “In her heart, she really believes that homosexuality is a sin.” I replied angrily, “But she doesn’t even go to church.” “You don’t have to be a religious zealot to have the belief that being gay is wrong,” he said. “So, she’s never going to change?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t think she quite knows what to think herself. She knows that gay people are around us.” He reached out and gripped my arm. “She just didn’t think it would happen to us.” “So, what do I do?” I asked worriedly. He smiled and replied, “Just be yourself, Jack. You’re a great son. She knows that. Give her a little time to adjust. We’ve been married for twenty years, and I have never heard her say anything negative about gay people. I just don’t think she ever considered it would happen in our family.” I laughed and replied, “Neither did I.” He gripped my arm tightly. “You have to stop fighting with her,” he pleaded. “If you continue getting upset, you’re going to make it more difficult. Give her time to understand. I think the meeting this morning helped.” I assured him, “I’ll try, Dad.” “One other thing,” he began to grin. “What?” “The next time you and Tracy decide to make out, lock the door.” “Dad!” He rose and I followed him out of the ice cream parlor. He was still laughing when he got in the car.
  6. Ronyx

    Chapter 1

    In this story, I was attempting to write an inspirational story for the holidays, expressing human kindness in an often unkind world. I appreciate all your wonderful comments, and I wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season. -Ron
  7. A wealthy business discovers the meaning of Christmas because of the generosity of a young employee.
  8. Ronyx

    Chapter 1

    It was late. Evan looked at the clock on the wall. 11:32. Normally, the restaurant closed at eleven, but traffic had been busy. Customers kept strolling in after a college basketball game. “Mr. Humphrey’s!” Evan hollered out. “Can we lock up?” Mr. Humphreys, the manager, looked at the clock and hollered back, “Let’s wait until midnight.” Evan exhaled deeply. He had been standing over a hot grill for over eight hours. He had reluctantly taken the job at the restaurant when his best friend, Joseph, talked him into it. He had been working twenty hours a week for the past four months. Joseph quit three weeks after being hired. However, Evan needed money. Graduation would be in several months, and he didn’t want to depend on his mother to pay for the expenses. There were pictures to buy, and he wanted a class ring to wear. After all, everyone else would be wearing one. He also had to rent a cap and gown. Counselors hadn’t gone over other expenses, but he knew there would be additional costs. At nineteen, Evan was the oldest of four children. He had twin sisters who were fifteen, and a younger brother who was nine. His mother was a single working mom. His father had left when he was seven. His little brother didn’t even know him. Evan only had vague remembrances. Those were mainly a man who came in drunk late at night and yelled at his mother. His mother worked long hours in a manufacturing plant to provide for him and his siblings. She left early in the mornings, and she would return late in the afternoons in time to prepare dinner. Since he had started working after school at Osborne’s, he rarely saw her anymore. She was usually in bed when he got home. The job, however, did provide him a decent meal at night. When at home, he would often go without dinner so his brother and sisters could eat. Christmas was two weeks away. He had saved enough money to buy his brother a video game he wanted, and his sisters were needing new clothes for school. He knew his mother couldn’t afford them, so he had spoken to her one morning and told her that he would buy them gifts. She, however, could wrap them and place them under the tree. They were too old to believe in Santa anymore, but they would still think the gifts came from their mother and not him. Mr. Humphreys came from his office and smiled at the young man before him. He was fond of Evan. Even though the boy was small, he did the work of two people. He never had to explain anything to him twice. He could prepare a sandwich in half the time it would take other workers. On the nights he worked the counter, his register never came up short. Evan was trustworthy. Young people like him were hard to find. Humphrey patted Evan on the back. “Why don’t you go lock the door and then clean the grill.” He smiled and added, “It’s been a long night. I wasn’t expecting a large crowd to come in so late. If you need me, I’ll be in the back going over today’s receipts.” Evan nodded and headed for the door. Just as he prepared to lock it, a man appeared and pushed on the door to open it. “I’m sorry,” apologized Evan, “but the restaurant is closed.” “Please,” begged the stranger, “I’m hungry.” The man’s appearance was very unkempt. His clothes were worn and dirty. He had on a jacket that was tattered and frayed at the cuffs. Several buttons were missing. His hair was long and stringy. It appeared that he had not washed it in several days. However, his blue eyes were bright and shiny. Evan thought that the man must have been very handsome once. Even though he appeared to be about forty, his face was smooth except for what looked like three day’s growth. “It’s really late,” explained Evan. “My boss wants to close up." “It won’t take long to fix me a sandwich,” pleaded the man. “It’s cold out, and I haven’t eaten in two days. Please let me in.” Evan looked behind him to see if Mr. Humphrey was nearby. He hoped he could let the gentleman in and quickly provide him something to eat. He knew what it was like to go hungry, and he couldn’t turn him away. The desperate look on his face would haunt him for weeks. “Okay,” said Evan as he opened the door and let the man enter. He made sure to lock the door behind them. He didn’t want to feed anymore late diners. The man shuffled over to a table and sat down. Evan walked over and stood before him. “What can I get you, Sir?” he asked politely. Normally, customers came to the counter to place their order. But since the man appeared tired, Evan didn’t see the need to follow customary procedures. He was afraid, however, that the man may not have any money, and he would have to pay for his meal. It would cost him at least an hour’s wage. “Just fix me what you can make fast,” the man suggested. “Anything you make will be fine.” “Yes, Sir,” Evan responded. “I’ll be right back.” He turned and headed toward the grill. Fortunately, it was still hot. Sharon, another worker, had turned it off a few minutes earlier, but it seemed hot enough to grill a plain burger. “Why’d you let him in?” angrily asked Stanley, another worker. “I thought Mr. Humphrey told you to lock up.” “He’s hungry,” replied Evan as he placed fries in a basket. They were slightly cold, but he figured the man wouldn’t complain since he was hungry. “He should get here before we close,” huffed Stanley as he grabbed a mop and started wiping grease off the floor. Evan wasn’t sure how the man liked his burger, so he prepared the classic that most customers ordered. It contained lettuce, onion, pickle and mayo. Evan placed a few extra pickles off to the side. He placed the burger on the bun and took the meal to the stranger. “Thank you, Young Man,” responded the man appreciatively as Evan placed it in front of him. “Please tell me your name.” “Evan Snyder, Sir,” politely replied Evan. He couldn’t understand why the man wanted to know his name. The man smiled and asked Evan to join him as he ate. “I can’t, Sir,” he insisted. I have to help the others clean up.” He looked up at the clock. Fifteen minutes had flown by since the last time he looked. Mr. Humphrey would be angry if he came out of his office and there was still work to be done. “Please sit down, Evan,” the man asked again. “I don’t want to eat alone.” Evan was becoming increasingly worried by the man’s insistence. He had to get back to work or he could lose his job. Since Christmas was only days away, he needed the money to buy gifts. “Please?” the man asked as he pointed to the seat across from him. Evan reluctantly sat down. However, he kept a watchful eye on the office door in case Mr. Humphrey came out. “Well, Mr. Evan Snyder,” the man spoke as he took a bite of the burger, “how long have you worked at Osborne’s?” “Four months,” he replied nervously. He was becoming uncomfortable because of the penetrating stare of the man’s blue eyes. “Are you still in school?” he asked. “Yes, Sir,” replied Evan. “I’m a senior.” “Excellent,” responded the man. “Are you preparing for college?" Evan hung his head. It had always been his dream to attend college, but he knew his mother wouldn't be able to afford it; and his grades weren’t good enough for a scholarship. He didn’t play sports, so he couldn’t use that path to a better education. His goal was to work after graduation and try to save enough money to attend a local community college. He hadn’t decided on what he would study, but he hoped it would be enough to provide for a wife and family someday. “Well?” asked the man when he saw the distraught look on Evan’s face. “No, “Sir,” replied Evan as he felt tears well up in his eyes. “I guess I’ll remain at Osborne’s for a few more years.” He smiled slightly, “That is if I don’t lose my job tonight.” “Why would you lose your job?” “I really should be doing my closing chores,” he replied. “My manager will be mad if he comes out and sees me sitting here talking to you.” “Just explain you’re keeping a lonely man company,” smiled the stranger across from him. Evan explained, “We have a policy that we can’t be friendly with the customers.” “Why is that?” Evan shrugged his shoulders. “Management rules are very strict.” "How so?” “We are expected to work every minute,” replied Evan. He knew he was saying too much, but he was tired, and the stranger appeared interested. Besides, in a few minutes he would never see him again. “And we only get a ten-minute break. On most nights I don’t even get that.” “That’s horrible,” responded the man. “Don’t you complain?” Evan sighed and said, “What good would it do? Workers who complain get fired, and I need this job.” “Why?” “It’s just my mother,” explained Evan. “She takes care of me, my brother and twin sisters. There’s not a lot of money, so I work to help her out.” “I see,” he replied. “Have you considered asking for a raise?” “No, Sir,” Evan sadly answered. “It wouldn’t do any good. I would probably get fired if I did.” “I doubt that,” insisted the gentleman. “It can’t be that bad.” “But it is,” replied Evan. “Osborne’s management is very strict. I like Mr. Humphrey, our manager a lot. However, he has to follow company rules.” “Sounds like a terrible place to work,” responded the man. “It will do,” said Evan. “I guess there are worse places to work.” “And I’m sure,” said the stranger, “there are better.” “Perhaps,” replied Evan. He stood and looked down at the man. “How would you like to pay for this,” he asked as he picked up the empty plate. Cash or credit?” The man smiled and asked, “What if I told you I had no money?” Evan instinctively knew the answer before he asked. He knew when the man pushed the door open that he probably didn’t have the means to pay for his meal. “I guess I’ll have to pay for it,” sadly replied Evan. “But that’s an hour’s wage,” insisted the man. “Can’t you just give me a free meal?” “Oh, no, Sir,” responded Evan quickly. “Osborne’s has a strict policy about not giving handouts to homeless people.” Evan’s face reddened when he realized he had suggested that the man may have been homeless. However, he appeared to be. “They even insist that we throw out good food at the end of the night instead of donating it to some place who can use it.” “Really?” “Yes, Sir,” responded Evan. “There’s a homeless shelter on the next block that could use it to help feed people. I asked Mr. Humphrey why we can’t donate leftover food to them, and he said he would be fired if he did.” “So, you would rather pay for my meal rather than just letting me have it? You’re just a poor boy, and Osborne’s is a very profitable business.” “To some people,” explained Evan, “money is everything. From what I’ve seen, some of them don’t have a charitable bone in their body.” “But that can’t be the case,” replied the man. “It is, Sir,” insisted Evan. “You’re hungry and need a meal. However, if I just give it to you, I’ll be fired.” “Who would know?” “I would,” replied Evan. “And I would probably tell Mr. Humphrey what I did.” “Then, Mr. Evan Snyder,” said the man as he rose and shook Evan’s hand. “If you will generously pay for my meal tonight, then I will return soon to repay you.” “It’s okay,” replied Evan. “I’m just happy to help out someone in need. I just wish I could do more." “You’ve done enough,” said the man as he patted Evan on the back. “More than realize.” Evan followed him to the door. He opened it, waved goodbye, locked it and then went behind the counter to finish cleaning the grill. ************************* The following week Evan was behind the counter. He had just arrived after school and was putting on his Osborne’s apron. Since it was almost three-thirty, only a few diners were eating. In about an hour, the evening crowd would begin to slowly drift in. Mr. Humphreys approached Evan and asked him to go to the back for some supplies. “Yes, Sir!” responded Evan as he stood erect, clicked his heels and saluted his manager. Mr. Humphreys smiled and walk off. When he returned, Evan noticed a customer standing patiently at the counter. He walked over and asked the man for his order. Evan stared at the middle-aged man with deep blue eyes. He was nicely dressed in a dark suit, and his hair was fashionably styled. He looked familiar, but Even couldn’t remember where he had seen him. He wasn’t a regular at the restaurant. The gentleman smiled and said, “Good afternoon, Evan Snyder.” Evan quickly looked down at his name tag. Only his first name appeared. But how did the man know his last name? “Hello, Sir,” Evan responded nervously. “May I take your order?” Evan became more confused when the man asked, “May I speak to your manager, Mr. Humpheys?” “Is something wrong, Sir?” asked Evan. “No, Evan,” he replied. “I would just like to see Mr. Humphries.” Evan turned and headed towards Mr. Humphey’s office. When they both returned, his manager stopped suddenly. “Mr. Osborne! What are you doing here?” Evan watched as Mr. Humphey’s nervously shook the man’s hand. Evan was even more surprised when the man came around the counter and shook his hand. It was a policy that no one but staff should ever be behind the counter. “Evan,” said Mr. Humphey’s, “This is Mr. Osborne. He is the owner of the Osborne Corporation.” He turned to Mr. Osborne and asked, “What are you doing here, Sir. It is indeed an honor, but I’m concerned why you are here unannounced.” Mr. Osborne grasped Evan’s arm and led him around the counter. “Let’s go sit down over here.” He pointed to a booth toward the back of the restaurant. Evan slid into a seat, and Mr. Osborne sat beside him. Mr. Humphrey sat across from them. Mr. Osborne began to explain. “I was here last week, late one night.” “That’s it!” exclaimed Evan. “You’re the guy who came in when I was locking the door.” Suddenly, his face began to pale. “Am I going to be fired?” Mr. Osborne smiled and assured Evan he was not going to be fired. “Just the contrary,” he responded. “You’re going to be rewarded.” “What? I am?” replied Evan. Mr. Humphrey watched the exchange with a puzzled look. He had no idea why Mr. Osborne was sitting across from him and talking to Evan like he was an old friend. He had never personally met him, but he had read numerous letters that were sent to him and other managers throughout the system. From what he had read, Mr. Osborne was a very wealthy man. He had opened his first restaurant in Omaha, Nebraska twenty years earlier. Today, he had over 2000 restaurants throughout the United States and Canada in addition to other businesses. He was known to be a very demanding owner. Over the years, he had seen numerous people leave the organization because of his overbearing reputation. Like Evan, Mr. Humphreys was worried that he had shown up to dismiss him as manager. However, he couldn’t think of anything he had done to warrant such a dismissal. Mr. Osborne smiled and said, “When I came here last week, I was on a, how can I say this? I guess I was on an undercover mission.” Evan responded, “I don’t understand, Mr. Osborne.” “I’ve been away from the daily operations of the company for quite a few years. I’ve let my vice presidents handle things. Over the years, they have outlined the policies and procedures that management and staff should follow.” He smiled at Mr. Humphreys and added, “Most have done an exemplary job, like you, Mr. Humphreys.” Mr. Humphreys smiled and replied, “Thank you, Sir.” “Yes. Back to what I was saying,” continued Mr. Osborne. “I have spent most of my time in London the past ten years, and I haven’t paid any attention to what is going on. My accountants keep me apprised of how successful the business is, so I assumed all is well.” He frowned and added, “That is until last week.” “I don’t understand,” said Mr. Humphreys with a confused look. Mr. Osborne reached out and patted Evan on the arm. “Last week I decided to visit one of my restaurants incognito, as you would say. I wanted to see what was really going on. I dressed as a beggar and entered the store at closing.” He laughed as he watched Evan’s face redden. “Fortunately, I picked this place and ran into Evan Snyder.” Evan didn’t know why, but he responded by saying, “I’m sorry, Sir.” Osborne leaned back and laughed. “For what?” he asked. “I’ve traveled the world, and I have never met anyone with as kind a heart as you. You bought a meal with your own hard-earned money for a stranger you thought you would never see again.” He again patted Evan on the arm. “You also opened my eyes to what was happening in my absence. I now realize that I should have been more involved.” “I don’t understand,” replied Evan. Osborne raised a finger and said, “Wait one moment.” He pulled out his phone and informed the person on the other end that it was time. Within minutes, the restaurant was flooded with people from the media and other men in expensive business suits. Cameramen rushed over and began taking pictures. A distinguished gentleman in a gray three-piece suit hollered out and asked everyone to move back. He explained that Mr. Osborne wanted to make a statement to the media. Osborne rose and faced the cameras before him. “As you know, I am Charles Osborne, owner and president of the Osborne Corporation. I am here today to make an announcement that will affect the management and staff of Osborne’s Restaurants across North America. A reporter yelled out, “Are you going bankrupt?” Osborne started laughing. “No, we’re not. In fact, last year was the best year we’ve ever experienced.” He continued. “As a result of our success, I’m announcing that starting immediately, I am raising the minimum wage of all low-level workers to $15 an hour.” Evan’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Right now, he was only making $8.60 an hour. His salary would almost double. He would be able to better help his mother and siblings. “I will also give adequate raises to upper management.” Evan looked at Mr. Humphreys as a wide smile appeared on his face. Osborne held out his hand, and the man in the three-piece suit handed him a booklet. He waved it at the media. “Also starting immediately, are new guidelines that will apply to all my restaurants. It will outline new policies that workers will follow. It also sets a new policy for the distribution of leftover food and other charity efforts. Importantly, there will be a mandatory thirty-minute break for any worker who works over a four-hour shift.” Evan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There had been so many nights he had worked eight hours without any break. Sometimes he barely had time to take a bathroom break. Osborne nodded at the man in the suit and he left the restaurant. A minute later, he returned with a sign and handed it to Osborne. “This will be placed in the window of every restaurant on Christmas Day.” It read: RECEIVE A FREE OSBORNE'S SPECIAL CHRISTMAS DINNER “I am ordering all Osborne’s Restaurants to be open Christmas Day with this displayed in the window. Anyone in need or who is hungry is welcome to a free meal. All they have to do is ask. And furthermore, any staff member who volunteers to work Christmas Day will receive double the pay for the hours they work.” Evan thought, ‘That is $30 an hour! I’m volunteering!’ Osborne looked down at Evan, smiled and asked him to stand. “And lastly, I would like to introduce you to Evan Snyder. Evan is the reason I am here today.” He put his arm around Evan as cameras took their picture together. “I am announcing today the Osborne’s College Scholarship Award.” Evan looked over and gave Osborne a puzzled look. “Each year I will award a $75,000 four-year college scholarship to an Osborne’s high school student employee who exhibits a hard work ethic, an outstanding moral character and a charitable nature.” He opened a folder and handed Evan an ornate certificate. “This year’s recipient of the first Osborne’s College Scholarship Award is Evan Snyder.” Evan was overcome with emotion. Tears streamed down his face as he attempted to smile for the cameras. He turned and buried his face into Osborne’s chest. “I don’t know what to say,” he cried. “Thank you." “No, Evan,” responded Osborne emotionally. “It is I who should be thanking you. Thank you for giving me the gift of human kindness.” He pulled Evan away, smiled into his face and said cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Evan."
  9. Ronyx

    Chapter 13

    Stephanie returned to the family room with three sodas. She handed us one and then sat down beside me. She looked at Darren and asked, “Well, what do you think?” Darren looked at me and responded, “I think the first thing we need to do is talk to your parents. Jack is worried how they are reacting to this. Right now, that’s his biggest unknown.” I nodded my head and replied, “I hope they don’t hate me.” Stephanie gripped my hand. “They don’t hate you,” she assured me. “But you said Mom was hysterical when she talked to you,” I reminded her. “I’m sure she’s calmed down by now,” replied Stephanie. Darren asked, “Do you think you can talk to them in the morning and get some feel how they are handling this?” Stephanie shrugged her shoulders. “If they’ll talk to me.” Darren rose, grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. “I’m tired,” he yawned as he looked at the clock. “It’s after midnight.” He asked, “Where do you want me to sleep?” “You can sleep with Steph,” I giggled. “That will give Mom and Dad something else to freak out about.” My jaw dropped when my sister giggled and replied, “We’ve already slept together.” “Now don’t give Jack the wrong idea,” responded Darren. He then explained how my sister had been studying late one night and was too tired to return to her dorm. Instead, she shared Darren’s bed while his boyfriend slept in the other bed. I looked at Darren and asked, “Why didn’t you just sleep with Clayton?” Darren started laughing and replied, “If we had done that, we would have kept Stephanie awake all night.” He looked at my sister and laughed, “At least we got some sleep.” My sister hit him playfully on his shoulder. “You guys are horndogs,” she laughed. She looked at me and asked, “Is that all you boys want to do is have sex?” My face turned about a hundred shades of red. “Don’t answer that, Jack.” He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his body. “Let’s keep the straights guessing.” We turned, and he said, “Now, show me where we’re going to sleep.” “Night, Guys,” laughed Stephanie. “Don’t do anything or I’ll tell Clayton.” Darren raised his hand and flipped my sister off. When we entered my room, Darren looked around. “Do you have a sleeping bag?” he asked. “I can crash on the floor.” “My friend, Jimmy, has it at his house,” I replied. As soon as I said my friend, a wave of sadness overcame me. Jimmy and I were so used to sleeping at each other’s house during the summer months. However, we never slept together in the same bed. We had a sleeping bag we shared. The last time we spent the night together was at his house. We were planning to spend the next night, but something came up and we didn’t. Now, I was too afraid to ask him for the sleeping bag back. “It’s okay,” Darren replied. He looked down at my queen-sized bed. “I can just sleep with you. It’s big enough for both of us.” My face reddened as I replied, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He gave me a puzzled look and asked, “Why?” My face reddened even more when I stammered, “You’re really hot, and…” Darren laughed, gave me a wicked grin and asked, “And what?” I was so embarrassed I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t tell him that I was afraid to sleep with him because I couldn’t trust myself not to attack him in the middle of the night. “Look, Jack,” he said. “I’ve got a boyfriend, and I’m loyal to him. Nothing’s going to happen.” “Easy for you to say,” I replied as I left the room and headed across the hall to the bathroom. I took a shower and jerked off twice so my teenage hormones wouldn’t be raging as I slept in bed beside Darren. I had already had sex with Tracy and Jeff. I knew it would be almost impossible to keep my attraction to Darren in check. I’m sixteen, after all. Just thinking about sex gives me a raging hardon. There was no way I was no way I was going to get any sleep sharing a bed with a guy as hot as Darren. When I entered the bedroom a half hour later, Darren was already in my bed. He had the covers pulled tightly over him and was sound asleep. I crept into bed and tried to sleep. I lay awake listening to him lightly snoring. “Clayton- you lucky fucker,” I muttered to myself before I finally fell asleep. Darren was in the bathroom when I awoke. He didn’t wake me when he got out of bed. I heard the shower running, and for a brief second, I considered going into the bathroom and relieve myself just so I could see him naked. However, I resisted the temptation. After all, he was here to help me. I didn’t want to make him mad. Minutes later, I heard him turn the shower off. He then entered the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. I rose from the bed and headed across the hall. Before leaving, I turned around just in time to see him drop the towel to the ground, and he reached for his underwear. I was able to get a quick look at his dick. He wasn’t big, but it hung nicely under a trimmed bush. When I closed the door, I looked into the air and muttered, “Thank you, Jesus!” I then went into the bathroom, and after relieving myself, I jumped into the shower to take care of some necessary business. When I went downstairs, my heart was pounding rapidly. I could hear my sister, father and mother talking at the kitchen table. They stopped by the time I got to the foot of the stairs. Suddenly, Darren walked around the corner, grabbed me by my arm and directed me toward the front door. “What’s going on?” I asked. He replied, “I want you to go over to Tracy’s house for a while.” “Why?” “We’re talking,” he replied. I followed him across the street. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but the look on Darren’s face indicated that there was a problem. I asked worriedly, “What’s happening? What’s going on?” “Stephanie and I are doing an intervention with your mother and father.” “What’s that mean?” He smiled slightly and replied, “We’re trying to make them understand.” We had arrived at the Craft front door. He knocked and waited for someone to answer. Mrs. Craft opened the door and gave us a puzzled look. “Can I help you, Jack?” she asked as she looked at Darren. Darren asked, “Are you Tracy’s mother?” “Yes,” she responded. “Why?” He pushed me into the house and told me to go up to Tracy’s room. He then asked Mrs. Craft to join him on the porch. After he closed the door, I headed up to see Tracy. As usual, when I looked in his room, he was dancing. He stopped suddenly when he saw me watching him. “What are you doing here?” he asked. I entered his bedroom and rushed over to the window. He followed and looked out when I pulled back the curtain. We watched his mother, father and Darren walk across the street and enter my house. Tracy asked, “What’s going on?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I dunno. Darren said something about him and my sister doing an intervention with my mom and dad.” He walked over to this bed and sat down. I went over and sat down beside him. “I went through that when I came out,” he informed me. “Only it was with my aunt and uncle.” I gave him a puzzled look since I had no idea what was happening. “My cousin is gay,” he said, “and my Aunt Helen and Uncle Thomas sat down with Mom and Dad and talked to them.” He smiled and added, “It was really wonderful. They helped them understand what I was going through.” I became worried. “So, you mean they’re over there talking about me being gay?” Tracy nodded his head. “What if they won’t accept it? What do I do then?” “Don’t worry,” Tracy assured me. “Mom’s great. She’ll make them understand.” Too bad I didn’t share Tracy’s positive attitude. He rose from the bed and stood in the middle of the room. “I’ve been practicing my role for the prince. Want to watch?” “Sure,” I replied. He then started dancing around the room with his eyes closed. It appeared he was pretending to dance with someone. He stopped and held his hand out to me. “Come here, Jack,” he ordered. “I need you to be the Clara while I dance the role of the prince.” “What do you want me to do? You know I can’t dance.” “Just stand here and hold out your hand.” He grabbed my arm and positioned me so that my arm was extended. He then held my hand while he danced around me. Even though I had seen him dance numerous times, I was still mesmerized by how graceful his movements were. As he circled me, he kept staring into my eyes, those beautiful green eyes. He kept holding my hand, and each time he circled around me, he moved closer. Suddenly, he was standing before me looking directly into my face. I closed my eyes, and I felt his lips touch mine. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me closer. We kissed passionately for about a minute before I pulled away. I asked with a grin, “Isn’t this what got us into trouble in the first place?” He smiled and replied, “I locked the door when you came in.” He then leaned in and kissed me again. I pushed him away and sat on his bed. He sat down beside me and gave me a puzzled look. “What’s wrong, Jack?” I looked into his eyes and asked, “What do you want from me?” “What do you mean?” I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s just that I’m just coming to accept the fact I’m gay, and I feel that you want too much from me right now.” He gripped my hand and squeezed it. “I don’t want anything from you except your friendship.” “Then why do you keep kissing me?” He giggled and replied, “Because you’re a good kisser.” My face started to redden. “Seriously, Jack, I just want us to be friends. If something happens between us, then it happens. No big deal.” I asked, “You mean friends with benefits?” He laughed and said, “Yeah, I guess you can say that.” Before I thought about it, I answered with a laugh, “That’s the same thing Jeff told me yesterday.” My face reddened, and I responded quickly, “I didn’t mean to say that.” I wasn’t sure if Jeff wanted Tracy to know that we had messed around. I had a feeling that they may end up as boyfriends someday. “It’s okay, Jack,” laughed Tracy. “Jeff called me last night and told me about your benefits.” I don’t think my face could have turned any redder. He reached over and started rubbing my crotch. My dick started to harden. “I wouldn’t mind having some benefits now,” he giggled. I took his hand and removed it. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” I rose from the bed and walked over to the window and looked across the street. I was too worried about what was happening across the street to even think about having sex. “It will be okay,” Tracy said as he put his arms around me and pulled me into his body. Just then, we saw Jeff walking toward the house. Tracy pulled away and said he would go let him in. A minute later, they entered the bedroom. “What’s going on, Guys?” he asked. Tracy sat down and informed him, “There’s a big powwow going on over at Jack’s house. His sister and Darren are trying to talk to them about Jack.” He laughed and added, “They’re doing a gay intervention for the rents.” Jeff pulled out his cellphone and said he would be right back. We could hear him in the hall talking to someone. When he came back into the room, he informed me that he had called his father. “Dad’s great doing this sort of thing. Him and Mom are members of PFLAG. He’s always counseling parents.” He walked over to the window and looked out. “They’re on their way over here now.” He kept going over to the window and pulling back the curtain. Ten minutes later, he announced that his parents had just pulled up in front of our home. I watched as Mr. Munson knocked on the door and my father let him in. “What’s going to happen next?” I asked worriedly. Jeff told me to relax and just let things happen. He and Tracy made it seem so simple. I only wished I could share their optimism. Jeff giggled and looked down at our crotches. He asked, “What were you guys doing when I got here? You both had hard-ons?” Tracy responded, “I was showing Jack my dance for the Nutcracker.” He licked his lips and asked, “Want to see?” “Come on, Guys,” I responded angrily as he rose, walked over to the window and looked out. “This ain’t the time to be thinking about sex.” Jeff rose, walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist. I stepped away from the window before anyone could see us. I turned and looked at Jeff. “I’m sorry,” I apologized, “but this could be a big day for me.” Tears appeared in my eyes when I asked, “What if the intervention doesn’t work? What if my parents want me to leave?” Tracy walked over to me. “That won’t happen, Jack,” he assured me. “Your mom and dad aren’t the kind of parents who are going to react like that.” He started laughing. “Besides,” he giggled, “Dad will get him drunk again if he has to.” “But, what about my mother?” I asked worriedly. I stared into Tracy’s eyes. “You saw the look on her face when she saw us kissing.” “Let everyone talk to them,” he insisted. “Maybe you’re worrying too much.” “I guess you’re right,” I sighed. I returned to the window and continued to stare across the street. Meanwhile, Tracy took Jeff’s hand and held it as he danced his role in the Nutcracker. After several minutes, Tracy sat down on the side of the bed. “I’m so stoked about dancing,” he said. “This is my first really big role.” Jeff walked over and sat down beside him. “This means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” “Yeah,” replied Tracy. “It means all the hours I’ve put into dancing haven’t been for nothing.” His face lit up when he said, “I finally get to dance on a star.” It surprised me when Jeff leaned in and kissed him. When Jeff noticed me watching, he stood, held out his arms and called me over to them. “What?” I asked. “Group hug,” he said with a smile. Tracy rose from the bed and we embraced. Before I knew what was happening, Tracy started kissing me. He then turned to Jeff and kissed him. When they finished, Jeff leaned over and kissed me passionately. I stepped away and said, “This is crazy, Guys.” Jeff asked, “What’s so crazy about it?” “I mean we’re like all three kissing each other.” Tracy responded, “So? We’re all friends here.” Jeff quickly added, “With benefits.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. The three of us again started kissing. It felt weird. My traditional thoughts about love were being challenged. I always believed that you could only love one person at a time. You declared your love for each other, and then you remained in a committed relationship. But as strange as it seemed, I liked both Tracy and Jeff equally. They weren’t putting up barriers to our friendship. They seemed so open about their love, if that is what it was. And importantly, they were willing to share it. As hard as it was to try and convince my mother and father to accept me being gay, I was having to deal with a new meaning of love and relationships. Sensing my change in mood, Tracy worriedly asked me what was wrong. They sat beside me as I tried to explain what I was feeling. I asked, “You don’t think that it is wrong for the three of us to be involved together?” “Do you think it’s wrong?” Tracy asked. “No,” I replied. “It’s just kind of strange. I just thought you can only love one person.” “We’re not talking about love, Jack,” said Jeff. “Is that what you’re worried about?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I guess.” “Right now, we’re just friends,” responded Tracy. “If two of us ever fall in love, then the other will back off.” He looked at us and asked, “Agreed?” Jeff and I nodded our heads. “Good,” he smiled wickedly. “Now, let’s get naked. I’m horny.” He rose and pulled off his shorts. Jeff giggled and started removing his clothes. “This ain’t a good idea, Guys,” I protested. I was worried that the meeting across the street might end, and someone would come and knock on the door. “You worry too much, Jack,” said Jeff as he pulled my shirt over my head. Tracy leaned down and yanked my shorts to the ground. We were now standing naked. Tracy grabbed our hands and said, “Let’s dance.” He giggled and added, “I’ve always wanted to dance naked with two hot guys.” We laughed as we held hands and twirled around the room. Jeff pulled me to ground, fell on top of me and we grinded our cocks together. Tracy knelt beside me and placed his cock in front of my face. I didn’t hesitate to start sucking it. Jeff scooted back and engulfed his mouth around my erect cock. Thirty minutes later, three sexually satisfied boys lay on the floor, smiling at each other. “See, Jack,” said Tracy. “Friends with benefits.” We held out our hands and high-fived each other.
  10. Ronyx

    Chapter 12

    Tracy and Jeff noticed Jimmy’s reaction when we drove by. Tracy asked, “Who was that?” “Jimmy Taylor,” replied Jeff. “He’s a jerk. You better stay away from him.” I tried to defend Jimmy by insisting he wasn’t a jerk, but by now I wasn’t sure myself. It had been days since we last spoke; and the last time we did, he called me a fag. I hadn’t decided yet if he still wanted to be my friend. I was hoping that he would soon come around to the fact that Tracy and Jeff weren’t bad guys, even though they were gay. “He’s still a jerk,” huffed Jeff. My sister turned and asked what was going on. She had been listening to our conversation, and she couldn’t understand why Jimmy was upset with me. I was stunned when Tracy blurted out, “Probably because we’re gay.” Darren had a surprised look when he turned toward the back seat. Stephanie cleared her throat and replied, “Yes, well.” I could hear the tension in her voice as she tried to speak. “That still doesn’t give him the right to treat you mean.” “He’s not treating us mean,” I insisted. Suddenly, I realized what I had just said. I had included myself with Tracy and Jeff. I looked for a reaction from my sister, but she continued to drive. I wasn’t sure if she understood what I said, or if she just decided to ignore it. Darren looked back at Tracy and asked, “So you’re gay?” “Sure am,” replied Tracy proudly. “Me, too,” offered Jeff. I think he was trying to admit he was gay so he could test to see if Darren was. “Cool,” responded Darren. “I guess since we’re all coming out, I will, too.” All three of us looked at each other with stunned faces. I giggled when Tracy held his hand out, wanting the ten dollars from Jeff. Tracy and Jeff looked over at me. I know they were wanting me to come out, but I couldn’t do it in front of my sister. I still wasn’t sure if she had talked to my mom yet. Darren asked Tracy and Jeff if they were boyfriends. I started blushing when they replied that they were friends with benefits. I was afraid that Jeff would tell him that I was too. Darren laughed and said, “Well, you can’t have too many of them.” He then high-fived Tracy and Jeff. As we drove, Tracy leaned over and told Jeff he owed him ten dollars. I laughed when Jeff responded that he could ‘take it out in trade.’ Tracy called him a lying bitch. Stephanie turned and asked, “How does Bob Evans sound?” “Yuck,” replied Jeff. “Dad loves the place. We eat there about once a week. Can’t we go someplace else?” “Like where?” asked Stephanie. “You decide.” Jeff looked at Tracy and me. “How about Mexican?” I shrugged my shoulders. Darren turned, looked at Jeff and said, “Mexican sounds good to me.” I giggled when Jeff looked at Tracy and stuck out his tongue. Stephanie suggested, “We’ll go to the Fiesta Palace for tacos.” “Yummy,” remarked Jeff as he rubbed his stomach. Ten minutes later we pulled up in front of the restaurant. I had eaten here a few times and liked their food. They serve the best tacos in town. Jeff trailed closely behind Darren when we walked through the restaurant. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to sit beside him when he took a seat. And I was right. When Darren sat down at a booth, Jeff scooted in beside him. I shook my head and sat down next to Jeff. Stephanie and Tracy sat opposite us. A waiter named Javier came over to our booth and took our order. He appeared to be in his mid-twenties. He seemed friendly, but I had a feeling he didn’t feel comfortable serving a table full of gay guys. Jeff and Tracy can sometimes act very flirty. I think because of Darren, they were really turning it on. I noticed Javier wince when Jeff called Tracy a girl. After we ordered, I asked Stephanie how she and Darren became friends. I was curious why she was friends with a gay guy. It wasn’t because I didn’t think my sister didn’t like gay people, I just never imagined her having a close gay friend like Darren. Darren began to explain. “We actually met the first day on campus. We were supposed to register, and I couldn’t find where we were to go.” He looked at my sister and smiled. “Your sister sat down beside me and helped me.” Stephanie giggled and said, “I was actually trying to hit on you.” Darren laughed and replied, “Girl, I knew that. You wouldn’t be the first female whose heart I’ve broken.” Jeff piped up and asked, “I bet you’ve broken a few guys’ hearts, too. Huh?” Tracy and I laughed when Darren looked over at Jeff and replied, “Yes, Honey. And if you don’t quit fawning all over me, you’re going to get your heart broken, too.” “What?” shrieked Jeff. “I’m not fawning over you.” His face reddened as he added, “I don’t even know what that means.” I giggled, leaned over and whispered in Jeff’s ear, “It means you’re a perv.” Jeff’s face blushed and he replied, “I can’t help it. He is hot.” “Okay, Guys,” admonished Stephanie. “Leave Darren alone. Besides, he already has a boyfriend at school.” I giggled again when Jeff muttered, “Shit! The cute ones are always taken.” Javier brought our order to the table and we began to eat. As we did, I asked Stephanie why she had come to visit. She responded, “Can’t I come home to visit my favorite brother?” I laughed and replied, “I’m your only brother. But seriously, why did you come home? I didn’t think you’d be here before Thanksgiving.” A sullen look appeared on her face when she said, “Mom called.” “Oh,” I replied. I knew what that meant. Mom must have called her and told her about Tracy. She looked across the table and suggested, “Let’s talk about this later.” I nodded and took a bite of my taco. We talked as we ate our meal. Tracy wanted to learn more about Darren’s interest in music. They seemed to really connect as they talked. Both had become interested in performing when they were very young. Darren’s father had bought him a guitar at a garage sale when he was five. By the time he was six, he could already play proficiently. When he turned eight, his family bought a piano for the family room. It took him about another year until he could play it. “Now, you,” said Darren. “Steph told me you like to dance ballet.” “Yeah,” interrupted Jeff. “You should see him. He’s good!” He looked over at Tracy and said, “He’s going to dance in the Nutcracker.” Naturally, Darren was very interested in Tracy’s interest in ballet. They began to talk, and it was as if the rest of us weren’t even at the table. I could sense that Jeff was getting very jealous. Tracy told him how he had been dancing since he was five. “The hardest part,” he said, “was everyone just assuming I am gay because I like to dance.” “I get the same thing, too,” remarked Darren. “When people find out I’m a music major, I can see a look appear on their face.” He raised his fingers, made a quotation sign and said, “Gay.” “Nonsense,” said Stephanie. “Not everyone thinks that.” Darren laughed and replied, “You did.” “Did not,” denied my sister. “You did, too,” laughed Darren. “I saw the change in you as soon as I told you I was a music major.” “I did not,” huffed Stephanie. “Did, too,” laughed Darren. “You were hitting on me until then. I saw the alarm bells go off in your head when I told you.” I looked over at my sister and laughed. She was blushing brightly. “Okay,” she agreed. “Maybe I did. But it didn’t stop us from being friends.” Darren reached across the table, gripped her hand and said, “Best friends.” Stephanie smiled and nodded. I found Stephanie and Darren’s relationship interesting. I knew growing up with her that she was open-minded. All through high school, her best friend was a black girl named Monica. They did everything together. Stephanie never had a permanent boyfriend, but when a guy did ask her out to a movie, it was naturally assumed that Monica would join them. I was always afraid people would think they were lesbians. There were times I also wondered if it was true. We never talked about sex, but when I began to think I was gay, I never thought that Stephanie would reject me. I somehow knew she would support me. A few months before she was to leave for college, I considered telling her I thought I might be gay. However, the right moment never came. She left for school without knowing my secret. Now she knew. I could tell by the way she would stare at me, that she wanted us to talk about it. I still hadn’t really confessed to her that I was gay. Even when Darren, Jeff and Tracy admitted they were gay, I couldn’t. My first instinct was that she would be disappointed. Now, I think she would be more disappointed that I hadn’t come out to her earlier. After dinner, Stephanie dropped Jeff off at home first. Naturally, he had to give Darren a hug before getting out of the car. As he crawled over me to get out, he mouthed, “God, I think I’m going to die.” I was seeing a new side to Jeff I had never seen before. At school, he seemed to ignore everyone and go about his business without much attention. In private, he was humorous and a tease. I was beginning to enjoy our new friendship. Unfortunately, it was a friendship that would have to exist behind closed doors. Next, we drove to Tracy’s house. He looked over and asked if I was coming in with him. I asked, “Can I talk to Stephanie first?” “Yeah, sure,” he replied as he got out of the car. He didn’t hug Darren as Jeff had. He told him he was glad to meet him, and he hoped that everyone could get together again before he and my sister returned to school. He smiled when Darren replied, “It’s a date.” After Tracy entered the house, Darren opened the door and got out. “Why don’t you sit in the front seat while I head across the street. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” I nodded, got out and sat beside Stephanie. “Yeah, well,” giggled Stephanie nervously. “Where do we begin?” I asked, “Are you mad at me.” “Oh, God no!” she replied as she leaned over and hugged me tightly. Both our eyes were rapidly filling with tears. “I love you more today, Jack, than ever.” I pulled away and asked, “Even if I’m gay?” She wiped away tears that were falling down my face. “Even if you’re gay.” She smiled and kissed me on my cheek. “Now, tell me what happened. Mom didn’t say much when she called. She was too upset.” “She hates me,” I cried. “She saw me kissing Tracy.” “I got that much,” she replied. “So, you haven’t come out to mom and dad yet?” I chuckled and said, “I guess I have now.” Tears welled up inside my eyes as I asked, “Do they hate me?” Stephanie replied, “I don’t know about Dad. He really hasn’t said anything. Mom is pretty upset. I guess she can’t get over what she saw.” She frowned and asked, “Why weren’t you more careful?” “I don’t know,” I said sadly. “We were in his room, and one thing led to another. He was showing me how he dances, and it just happened. We didn’t hear his mother coming up the stairs. When she came into his room, Mom was behind her.” “Did she say anything to you?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I really haven’t given her a chance. I was too upset, so I left. I spent the night at Jeff’s.” Stephanie gripped my hand and asked, “Are you going to be okay?” “Yeah, sure,” I replied with a nervous laugh. “Why shouldn’t I be after Mom and Dad kick me out of the house.” “They’re not going to kick you out of the house,” my sister insisted. I gave her a puzzled look. “Why are you here, anyway. Shouldn’t you be in school? She spent the next few minutes explaining how Mom had called her. She was hysterical on the phone. Stephanie wouldn’t tell me exactly what she said, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that my mother was very upset when she found out I was gay. Looking back, I guess she had every right to be upset. I really hadn’t prepared her that I might be gay. I had tried so hard to protect my secret ever since I realized that I might be gay. Even my best friend, Jimmy, didn’t have a clue. But how do you prepare someone when you don’t want them to know? Are there little clues that you are supposed to drop into conversations to give them hints? Should you wear certain clothes or act in a manner that starts them to wonder about your sexuality? Do you expose just enough so that when the truth does emerge, they will realize what they were beginning to assume would counter the shock of actually knowing? Maybe if I had said or done something that would have made Mom and Dad have evening talks in bed late at night wondering if their son was gay would have avoided what I was going through now. “Did you see the way that Jack throws around his hands when he talks?” They could then compare it to the actions of a gay character on television. Or, “That shirt Jack had on today made him look rather feminine. You don’t think he’s trying to tell us something, do you?” But I never gave my parents any clues. My sister had no idea until Mom called her crying with the news. And until just a few hours ago, she had no idea that she had a gay brother. Perhaps, I had hidden my secret too well. “Why did you bring Darren?” I asked after she finished telling me about the call she received from Mom. “We were studying together in his room,” she explained. She laughed when I raised an eyebrow. “I thought he’s gay?” I remarked with a laugh. “He is,” she replied. “I’m taking a class with his boyfriend, and we were preparing for a test.” “So, he does have a boyfriend? I thought he just told Jeff that to stop him from flirting with him.” “Yes,” replied my sister. “He has a wonderful boyfriend named Clayton. They met in high school, and they decided to go to the same university together. They live in a dorm because they have to as freshmen. Next year, they are going to get an apartment.” I gave her an astonished look when she added, “They want me to room with them.” “You’re going to room with a gay couple!” “Sure,” she laughed, “Why not? They’ll be perfect roomies. They’re not messy like my roommate now. And,” she added, “Clayton is a great cook.” “What will Mom and Dad say?” I couldn’t imagine that they would let Stephanie live with two guys, even if they are gay. She replied, “I think once they get used to Darren, they won’t care. That’s why he insisted coming with me. He thought that he could talk to them and make them understand what you’re going through.” I responded sadly, “Maybe he needs to talk to me. I don’t understand what I’m going through.” She patted my hand and replied, “That’s the main reason he came home with me. He figured you might need someone to talk to. From what he told me, I guess he went through the same thing with his parents when he came out.” I sighed and said, “This is going to be hard.” Stephanie gripped my hands and replied, “Life is hard, Jack. After you get through this fight, there will be another, and another and another.” “Just great,” I responded as I rolled my eyes. “I thought you were here to help me.” “I am,” she giggled as she kissed my cheek. She started the car and backed out of the Craft driveway. “Let’s go get this over with.” I looked up at Tracy’s window. He had the curtain pulled back and was looking down at me. The house was quiet when we entered. Usually, Mom, Dad and Karen would be watching television in the family room. Instead, all the lights were out. “Where is everyone?” I asked Stephanie. “They must be in their rooms,” responded my sister as she walked over and turned on a lamp. She pointed to a chair and said, “Go sit down, and I’ll see where Darren is.” I sat quietly for several minutes. I looked around the room and wondered if it might be for the last time. I wasn’t getting good vibes. I was afraid that my parents may have already decided to put me out of the house. They wouldn’t just kick me out into the streets. I was still in high school, and they may go to jail if they just abandon me. However, they could send me to live with my grandparents or an aunt or uncle. My Dad’s parents lived across town. My grandfather is a strict man. Dad said when he was growing up that he was very demanding. He insisted that he become involved in sports so he wouldn’t get into trouble. He was also checking on how he was doing in school. If a teacher reported that he was slacking off in class, he would make him do his homework in the evenings at the kitchen table until his grade improved. When he visited, he was loud and annoying. I thought it was because he was getting hard of hearing, but Dad said that is the way he has always been. My grandmother, on the other hand, is just the opposite. She’s very quiet and shy. She says very little. I guess over the years after living with my grandfather, she let him do most of the talking, and she disappeared into the background. My mother once commented that I had inherited my grandmother’s personality. My mother’s parents lived in Florida. They live in Tampa, and we have visited them a few times. They appear very rich. They live in a big house near the ocean, and they have a big pool in the backyard. When we visited, Stephanie and I spent most of the time swimming in the pool or the ocean. I also considered who else they might ask to take me in. It would be difficult because most of them probably wouldn’t want a gay family member dropped off on them. I know if one of my cousins was gay, and my aunt or uncle asked Mom and Dad if they could stay with us, they would refuse. Besides, my father only has a brother, and my mother has an older brother and a younger sister. The options are limited. Then I began to panic that they might send me someplace else, like a foster home, or worse yet, a group home. I had heard about them. A boy at school lives in a group home because the court had sent him to one when he got in trouble and his parents didn’t want him in their house anymore. Everyone in school tries to avoid him. I have seen him in the hall a few times, and he doesn’t seem to me like someone who is a troublemaker. Maybe his parents are like mine and just don’t want him around anymore because he is an embarrassment. I jumped when Stephanie and Darren entered the family room. My sister gave me a worried look and asked if I was alright. “I’m fine,” I tried to assure her. She glanced quickly at Darren, nodded her head and announced she was going to the kitchen to get us something to drink. Darren came over to the sofa and sat down beside me. “I know you’re telling everyone you’re okay,” he said, “but I’ve been down this road before. It’s not easy.” Tears formed in my eyes as I asked, “How did you handle it? I feel like I’m losing everything.” He patted my thigh and assured me things aren’t always as bad as they first seem. He turned toward me and said, “When I first came out, I felt the same way you do now. I thought my life was over.” I attempted to smile and nodded my head. “And it was for a while.” I looked at him and frowned. I laughed nervously, “I thought you were going to try and make me feel better. You know, that ‘it gets better’ thing I read about.” He smiled and sat back. “I know from where you are right now, it seems hopeless.” “You got that right,” I responded. He sat back up and looked into my eyes. “But it does,” he stated emphatically. “I know.” He sat back and rested his head. “It’s not us,” he said. “It’s them. We know that being gay isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the way we are.” “That’s just it!” I said excitedly. “I don’t feel anything is wrong with me.” “And there’s not,” he replied as he patted my hand. “You’re perfectly normal.” “But how do I make my parents realize that?” He sighed and replied, “I don’t know.” “Thanks,” I chuckled nervously. “That’s good advice.” “Seriously, Jack,” he said as he sat up and once again stared at me. “It’s different for all of us. We’re not like cookies that have been shaped by a cookie cutter. We have different parents, grandparents, family and friends. What works for one person may not work for another.” I asked, “But how will I know what to do? Right now, I feel like I’m losing everything. My parents hate me, and my friends have turned against me.” “How do you know your parents hate you?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I replied. “They just do.” “Have they told you that?” “No,” I confessed. “Does Stephanie hate you?” Tears welled up in my eyes. “No,” I replied. “I don’t think she does.” “She doesn’t,” assured Darren. “I’ve known your sister only a short while, but she’s one of the most understanding people I know. That’s why she’s my best friend.” “No,” I replied. “She doesn’t hate me.” Darren reached out and gripped my hand. “Let me and Stephanie help you through this. Okay? It’s too big to handle by yourself.” Tears started to fall onto my cheeks. “Okay,” I replied as I fell against his chest and started to cry.
  11. Ronyx

    Chapter 11

    I awoke the next morning with Jeff spooned against my body. My cock was hard as it pressed against his ass. He stirred slightly and snuggled against me more forcefully. For a brief second, I wondered what he would do if I attempted to penetrate him. Instead, I scooted away from him, carefully got out of bed and headed across the hall to the bathroom. When I returned, Jeff was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me to return. He smiled and said, “Good morning, Jack. Did you sleep well?” I could feel my face redden as I recalled what we had done the previous night. I still couldn’t believe that I had sex with a boy- well, actually two boys. If there was any doubt in my mind that I was gay, last night proved that I was. I could no longer try to convince myself that I wasn’t. I walked across the room and sat beside Jeff. “I don’t know what to feel,” I confessed. “I know I’m gay, and one part of me tells me that it’s okay. But then I think about how others are going to react, then I try to tell myself that I don’t want to be.” Jeff took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “Welcome to the gay world,” he said. “What you’re feeling right now is what every gay boy goes through. I’ve been there, so has Tracy. All of us experience it.” I gave him a puzzled look. “I’m not sure I’m following you, Jeff.” He smiled and assured me, “Last night you accepted the fact you are gay.” He giggled and added, “I’m glad I was a part of it.” I nudged him in his side and smiled. “Me, too,” I responded. His smile faded. “Now, today, you have to decide what you’re going to do with it.” “What do you mean?” “You can go back to like you were yesterday morning,” he stated. “You can be the old Jack who goes around trying to deny who he is.” I stared into his eyes as he spoke. “Or you can say to hell with the world. I’m who I am, and anyone who can’t accept that, then screw it.” I shook my head. “You make it sound so easy,” I responded worriedly. “I’m not strong like you and Tracy.” I gave Jeff a puzzled look when he started laughing. “Easy? Do you really think it’s easy for us?” “I guess,” I replied. “You guys seem so sure about who you are.” Jeff reached over and gripped my hand. “It’s not going to be easy, Jack. I’m not going to lie to you. You’ll never be sure how people are going to react. Some people may say they don’t have a problem, but there will always be that doubt in the back of your mind. Your friends may turn against you, but not because they don’t like you anymore. They just won’t know how to react around you. The only people who will truly understand are other gays and lesbians. I rose from the bed and started pacing around. “I knew this was going to happen,” I said sadly. “I knew once I came out, then I’d lose everything.” I looked at Jeff and stated, “Next thing you know I'll be wearing a dress.” He stared at me before he fell back on the bed and laughed uproariously. When he caught is breath, he sat up and looked at me. “Wear a dress? Where in the hell did that come from?” I sat down beside him. "I don't know. I've seen some guys wearing dresses.” I was thinking of the Ru Paul show I watched. My face reddened as he looked at me and laughed. “Jack,” he assured me as he took my hand and held it. “Being gay doesn’t change you. You’re who you always were. You’re the same person today who you were yesterday.” “So, I don’t have to wear a dress?” Jeff giggled and asked, “Did you wear a dress yesterday?” “Of course not.” He squeezed my hand and assured me, “Then you won’t have to wear one today.” He giggled and added, “If you do feel like wearing one, we can go to my mother’s closet and see if she has anything that will fit you.” Í smiled and responded, “I’m okay. Just then, Jeff’s stomach started to growl. He grabbed it and announced, “I’m hungry.” A devilish look appeared on his face as he added, “Sex always makes me hungry.” We quickly dressed and then headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Jeff’s mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She is small and petite like Jeff. He also inherited her bright blue eyes. I found it strange that she didn’t question who I was. But then, I figured Jeff’s dad had probably informed her why I had spent the night in their home. Since it was Saturday morning, we didn’t have to hurry to school. We sat at the counter and watched her make French toast in a skillet. Occasionally, Jeff would look over at me and giggle. I knew he was remembering what we had done the previous night. A new thought suddenly struck me. What if Jeff really liked me? He said he had had a crush on me for several years. Only yesterday I admitted that I was gay. I surely wasn’t ready yet to have a boyfriend. And even though I enjoyed it with Jeff and Tracy, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex again. I had let my guard down last night. I was mad at my mother for the way she acted toward Tracy. I let him suck me to get revenge for her actions. With Jeff, it was nice. He seemed to really want me, and I guess I was flattered. I enjoyed what we did, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do it again so soon. At least by having sex with them, there was no doubt in my mind I was gay. However, right now I don’t want to commit to anyone. I’m still finding my way and having a boyfriend might confuse things. I might rush into something I would later regret. As if he read my mind, Jeff looked over and asked if I was alright. “Is everything okay,” he asked worriedly. I smiled and assured him I was. I would have to wait until later to tell him how I was feeling. I just hope that I don’t hurt his feeling when I do. Jeff’s father strolled into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. It was obvious he had just crawled out of bed. His hair was disheveled, and he had a morning beard. He looked at us and smiled. “How did you sleep, Jack?” I tried not to look embarrassed, but I know my face started to blush. “Fine, Sir,” I responded as I thought about my mouth around his son’s dick. “Good,” he replied as he grabbed the morning newspaper and began reading it. I looked over at Jeff when he started to giggle. I know he was thinking the same thing as I was. As we were eating, Jeff’s cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and said, “It’s Tracy.” He then got up from the counter and left the room. He returned a couple of minutes later. He sat down and informed me, “He wants us to come over to his house after we eat.” I gave a skeptical look and asked, “Why?” He shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Dunno.” I didn’t believe him because Tracy wouldn’t have asked us to visit him without giving Jeff a reason. I assumed he probably didn’t want to say anything with his mother and father so near. After eating, we returned to his room. As soon as we sat on the bed, Jeff said, “Tracy wants us to come over to his house. He says he has something he wants tell us.” “What?” “He didn’t say,” responded Jeff. “He just said he has something he wants to tell us. He really sounded excited when he called.” He leaned over and kissed me. He gave me a puzzled look when I pulled away. “What’s wrong, Jack?” he asked worriedly. I rose from the bed and started pacing around. I stopped in front of him and looked down. “I just think we’re moving too fast,” I responded. “I like what we did and all, but…” I turned and started pacing around the room. I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, not yet at least. Maybe Jeff could be that someone special someday, but right now I wasn’t ready to commit to someone. He rose, came around and placed his arms around me. He then kissed me gently on the neck. “It’s okay, Jack. I understand.” He then took my hand and led me back over to the bed. Once we were seated, he turned towards me. He gently squeezed my hand. “I’m not asking you for anything,” he smiled. “I’ve been battling these thoughts for a year.” I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What thoughts?” “Love,” he replied. “What do you mean?” “I know what you’re thinking,” he responded. “You think just because I told you I had a crush on you, and then last night we had sex, that we are boyfriends.” “Isn’t that what you want?” He giggled and replied, “I would love you to be my boy and friend.” He stressed the word ‘and.’ “I don’t understand.” He giggled and said, “What if I put it another way. I want you as just a friend with benefits.” I gave him a puzzled look and confessed, “I don’t know what that means.” He started laughing again. “It means, I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now. We’re only sixteen. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I really don’t want to be tied down right now to one guy.” I laughed when he started acting like a bird. “Right now, I just want to fly like a bird.” He leaned in and kissed me quickly. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” “Yeah,” I giggled as I reached over and grabbed his crotch. “It means we can mess around and just be friends.” He winked, grabbed my crotch and replied, “Bingo.” He snaked his hands into my shorts and said, “I want to be your friend right now.” I laughed, snaked my hands inside his shorts and said, “Me, too.” A half hour later, we were heading out the door to visit Tracy. As we walked down the sidewalk to Tracy’s house, I looked across the street and noticed my sister’s car in the driveway. I then remembered my mother mentioning that she was visiting from college this weekend. I also remembered that she said I would have to give up my room to a boy she was bringing with her. It wasn’t clear if he was her boyfriend. I kept looking at the kitchen window to see if my mother saw me. I tried to hide from her by walking closely beside Jeff. The last thing I needed was for her to see me and come barging over to the Craft home like she did the day before. Mrs. Craft let us in and informed us that Tracy was in his bedroom. We could hear music coming from upstairs. “He must be dancing,” she said. We headed upstairs. The door was open, and Jeff and I watched Tracy dancing before the mirror. His eyes were closed, so he didn’t notice us. “He’s good,” whispered Jeff in my ear. I replied, “Yeah, he is.” We continued to watch him until he final turned, opened his eyes and saw us at the door. He giggled, grabbed the thin material of his shorts asked, “Like what you see.” “Idiot,” laughed Jeff as he approached Tracy. It surprised me when they kissed. Jeff noticed the look on my face, walked over to me and gave me a kiss. “You’re not the only one I have a crush on,” he said. Tracy gave me a sad look and asked, “Don’t I get a kiss?” I smiled as I walked over and kissed him. “Okay, enough of the drama,” laughed Tracy. His face lit up with excitement. He grabbed our hands and pulled us over to the bed. “Sit down, Guys,” he ordered. “I have some great news!” Jeff asked, “What?” “You’re not going to believe this,” remarked Tracy excitedly. “I’m going to be dancing the role of the prince in The Nutcracker!” “Wow!” I exclaimed. “Isn’t that your big dream?” “Yeah,” he replied. “I’ve always dreamed of dancing the role of the cavalier.” He went on to explain how he had gone downtown after he left us the night before to audition for the role. He said that five other guys auditioned, and they were very good. He felt that he didn’t have a chance since he was much younger than the others. However, after the rehearsals, the choreographer asked him to remain as the others left. She then told him that he was going to be cast for the starring role. “I can’t believe it!” he said excitedly as he rose from the bed and started dancing around the room. Jeff and I watched as he pretending to be dancing with someone. I finally asked, “What’s that you’re doing?” “The pas de deux,” he replied. “It’s one of the most famous dances in the world. I can’t wait to perform it onstage.” “Do you dance it alone?” asked Jeff. “No,” explained Tracy. “The pas de deux means dance for two. I’ll be dancing it with a girl. Six girls auditioned for the role, so I won’t know who I’ll be dancing it with.” Jeff rose and hugged Tracy. “I’m so happy for you.” “Me, too,” I said as I got up and hugged him also. He grabbed our hands and said excitedly. “I want you guys to be there.” Jeff kissed him and replied, “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He looked at me and I nodded my head. We spent the next fifteen minutes watching Tracy dance. He explained to us some of the difficult moves that he would be dancing as the role of the Prince. He also explained what the Nutcracker was all about. When he finished, Jeff and I were excited about watching him perform. He grabbed our hands and pulled us from the bed. “Come on, Guys. I’m going to show you how to dance.” We giggled as he tried to get us to do what he called a plié and a pirouette. I kept losing my balance, and Jeff tumbled to the ground when Tracy held him and tried to get him to turn. Jeff put his hands on his sides and grumbled, “You make it look so easy. This is really hard to do.” Tracy laughed and replied, “I’ve been practicing for years. It is easy for me.” Mrs. Craft knocked softly on the door before opening it and peering inside. “Sorry to bother you,” she looked over at me, “but Jack, there’s someone downstairs who wants to see you.” I asked bitterly, “Is it my mother?” I assumed she had come over to drag me home. “No, Dear,” she replied. “It’s not your mother.” Reluctantly, I headed downstairs. I figured my father would be waiting for me. “Sis!” I shouted excitedly when I saw Stephanie standing in the middle of the living room. I hadn’t seen her since she left for college two months earlier. We hugged each other tightly. She pushed me away and stared at me. “Just look at you,” she said. “I left behind a boy, and I return to a man.” I giggled and replied, “Yeah, well. What can I say?” She laughed and hugged me again. Stephanie and I had always been close, even when we were young. She was two years older than me, but we grew up like twins. We never fought like most brothers and sisters do. I cried for two days after she left for college. She turned and grabbed the hand of a man who had been standing back watching us. In my excitement of seeing my sister, I hadn’t noticed him. “Jack,” she said as she pulled him towards me. “I want you to meet Darren. Darren is a friend of mine at school.” I timidly shook his hand. I was nervous because I found him extremely attractive. He was tall and handsome. His brown hair was cut short. He had brown eyes, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for several days. He was taller than me, and very slim. He had the build of a swimmer on our swim team. I was instantly in love! I looked at Stephanie and then back at Darren. An overwhelming sadness engulfed me. Although, I’m not sure it was sadness or jealously. “Darren,” she explained, “is a music major.” I wondered how my sister knew him because the last time we talked she was going to major in economics. “He’s really talented,” she continued. “He can play guitar, drums, clarinet, piano.” She started laughing, grabbed his hand and said admiringly, “I don’t think there’s an instrument he doesn’t play.” I found it sexy when he began to blush. “I can’t play a tuba.” He started laughing and added, “Hell. The thing’s too damn heavy.” Just then, Tracy and Jeff came bounding downstairs. They stopped suddenly when they noticed Stephanie and Darren. Jeff took one look at Darren, then turned to Tracy and softly muttered, “Holy shit!” I giggled as I introduced my friends to my sister and Darren. Jeff wouldn’t stop staring at Darren, and he held his hand just a little too long when they shook. I pulled him away, leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Stop it, Jeff.” He stepped back and started giggling. Stephanie looked around the room and asked, “Are you guys hungry?” We glanced at one another and nodded our heads. I looked at the clock on the wall, and it was almost noon. Stephanie gripped Darren’s hand and held it. Jeff glanced quickly at me and frowned. We both thought the same thing- he’s my sister’s boyfriend. “I’m famished,” announced my sister. “We left school early, and we didn’t get a chance to eat.” She pulled Darren towards the door. “We’ll go get the car, and you guys can come out when we pull into the driveway. I thought it was rather strange that she didn’t suggest we go across the street to her car instead of going to the trouble of driving across the street. Then it hit me- she didn’t want me to confront my mother. Mom must have said something to her about me and Tracy. As soon as she closed the door, Jeff tightly gripped my arm. “Jesus, Jack! Who the hell is he? He’s hot!” “Yeah,” exclaimed Tracy. “He’s a stud!” I started laughing uncontrollably at the reaction of my friends. “Forget it, Guys,” I responded. “It looks like he’s my sister’s boyfriend.” We laughed when Jeff replied, “I’ll claw her eyes out.” Tracy looked at me and said, “I don’t think he’s your sister’s boyfriend.” I asked, “What? You saw them holding hands.” “That doesn’t mean anything,” he replied. “I think he’s gay.” “What!” Jeff squealed excitedly. “Gay? Why do you think he’s gay?” Tracy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m just getting a gay vibe from him.” My face reddened when he looked over at me and added, “Just like I got from you, Jack, when we first met.” “I don’t think he’s gay,” responded Jeff. “He’s too hot to be gay. He just oozes masculinity.” I started laughing again. “Oozes masculinity? Where did you get that?” Jeff giggled and shrugged his shoulders. “He’s gay,” stated Tracy confidently. “Trust me.” Jeff replied, “He’s not.” “Bet?” challenged Tracy. “Ten bucks says he’s gay.” “Bet,” agreed Jeff as he shook Tracy’s hand. He looked at me and said, “You’re my witness when he has to pay me ten bucks.” We were laughing as he left the house. My sister and Darren were waiting in the car for us. As Jeff, Tracy and I piled into the backseat of my sister’s Toyota, I noticed Jimmy coming down the sidewalk dribbling a basketball. My sister slowed down and asked, “Isn’t that Jimmy?” She turned and looked at me. “You want me to pick him up? He can probably cram into the backseat?” “No, Steph,” I replied. “It’s okay.” When we passed him, I looked out the window, and he flipped me off.
  12. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    @droughtquake Very insightful and well-written comment. I hope our young readers take the time to read it. You and I know it gets better.
  13. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    Tracy looked at his watch and announced that he had to go home. When he left his house, his mother had reminded him that he had a dance lesson. “You’re taking lessons?” I asked. “I think you’re good enough now.” He laughed and replied, “I’ve been taking lessons since I was seven. How do you think I got to be so good?” “You sure are dedicated to dancing,” I remarked. “I’m not sure I would want to spend all the time practicing.” He shrugged his shoulders and responded, “I guess I’m used to it. Besides, I’m going to try out for a new role next week. I have to be ready.” Jeff asked, “A new role? You didn’t mention that before.” “You know how I’ve been wanting to dance the prince in the Nutcracker?” I nodded my head. I remember his mother mentioning it when she was at our house. It is what inspired him to want to dance when he was seven. “They are auditioning for parts for the show at a theater downtown. I’m going to try out.” He was beaming with excitement. “My dreams may finally come true.” “Wow!” exclaimed Jeff. “That’s great!” “Yeah,” replied Tracy. “Maybe now I can stop dancing on a star.” I made a puzzled face and asked, “Dancing on a star? What does that mean?” Tracy sat back down on the bed and looked at me and Jeff. “You guys promise you won’t laugh?” “Laugh?” asked Jeff. “Why?” “Okay,” he said as he moved so he was sitting Indian style on the bed. Jeff and I scooted back so we were leaning against the wall. Tracy looked intently at us and continued, “When I dance, I sometimes close my eyes and imagine I’m dancing on a star.” “Wow!” remarked Jeff. “That’s cool.” “Yeah,” replied Tracy. “I block out everything, and I feel so free. It’s just me, and I can be whoever I am. Everything around me is dark, and all I see is me. It’s a great feeling.” “Wish I could do that,” I responded. “It would be great to feel like that.” “It is,” replied Tracy. Then his mood became more somber. “There’s only one problem with that.” “What?” asked Jeff. “How could that be a problem. I would love to experience that.” “Oh,” said Tracy. “It’s wonderful and all, but…” Jeff asked, “But what?” Tracy looked like he was getting ready to cry. “When I finish,” he explained, “I look around me, and I’m all alone. Stars are a million miles away.” Jeff and I didn’t know what to say. It was obvious that Tracy was telling us how lonely he felt. When he got up to leave, we gave him a big group hug. “That was strange,” I said after he was gone. Jeff and I were sitting on the side of his bed. It felt awkward being alone with him, especially after he had just kissed me earlier. Things were moving too quickly, and I wasn’t sure what direction they were going. At least for a while, I had forgotten what happened in Tracy’s bedroom. “I feel sorry for him,” replied Jeff. “We’ve talked a lot the past few days, and I think he’s really lonely. From what he’s said, he has had a pretty difficult life.” “Yeah,” I said. “He’s such a great guy, but it seems like everyone gives him a hard time because he likes to dance. You should see how Jimmy and the other guys reacted.” Jeff became sullen and said, “I don’t have to see. I know how they already are.” I reached down and gripped his hand. “Sorry,” I apologized. “I guess you haven’t had it too easy, either.” He shrugged and replied, “It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Suddenly, a wave of sadness overcame me. I realized that now I would have to endure what Tracy and Jeff had been through. I would now be subjected to ridicule and torment from my classmates, especially Jimmy. Jeff looked concerned when he sensed my sadness. “It’s going to be okay,” he tried to assure me as he squeezed my hand. “It’s not the end of the world, you know.” “Yes, it is,” I muttered as I rose from the bed, walked over and looked out the window. “Everything changed today.” I turned and faced him as tears started to fall down my cheeks. “I don’t think I can go home again.” He rose from the bed, walked over and embraced me. I hesitated before wrapping my arms around him. He seemed so small against my body. “It’s not going to be easy,” he said, “but you’ll learn to survive. We all do.” When I looked down into his face, he stood on his tiptoes and kissed me. I pulled away and started giggling. Jeff looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked, “What’s so funny?” “It’s insane,” I replied. “Just last week I was avoiding you because you’re gay, and now I’m in your room kissing you.” I ran my hands through my hair. “None of this is making any sense.” “You’re gay,” he said. “If you can accept that, then it will all make sense.” Tears welled up in my eyes, and I replied sadly, “But I don’t want to be gay.” Jeff closed his eyes, stood on his tiptoes and kissed me again. I closed my arms around him and kissed him passionately. When I pulled away, I took a step back, smiled and said, “Okay. I’m gay.” Jeff returned my smile and asked, “Now, what are you going to do about it?” I walked over, sat on the side of the bed and ran my hands through my hair. “I still can’t believe my mother saw me kissing Tracy.” I felt like I wanted to burst into tears, but I felt empty. “I don’t know what to do.” Jeff walked over, grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go talk to my dad. I heard him and Mom come in a little while ago. He’ll know.” I resisted as he tried to pull me from the room. “I don’t think I can.” “Why?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I don’t know. I just don’t think I can.” “Sure you can,” he said as he gripped my hand tighter, pulling me from the room. When we went downstairs, his mother and father were watching a cable news show. Jeff walked over to his father, leaned down and whispered something in his ear. His father looked over at me, nodded and rose from his seat. When he left the room, Jeff motioned for us to follow him. I thought it was strange that he headed out to the garage and got in his car. Jeff opened the rear door, and I got in. He sat in the front seat with his father. Ten minutes later, we were pulling into a KFC restaurant. I followed Jeff to the back, and we sat at a booth waiting for his father. He ordered and then came and joined us. He looked at me and said, “I hope you like the spicy chicken.” I nodded my head. We didn’t say anything while we waited for our food. Minutes later, the girl behind the counter approached with a bucket of chicken and a side order of fries and biscuits. I didn’t want to hurt Mr. Munson’s feeling by telling him I wasn’t hungry. Well, actually I was. I was just afraid I might get sick if I did eat anything. My stomach felt tied in knots all evening. Jeff’s dad took a chicken breast from the bucket and started eating. “Eat up, Boys,” he insisted. “I can’t eat all this myself.” I took a chicken leg, and Jeff grabbed a wing and started nibbling on it. I ate the leg and grabbed another. I guess I was hungrier than I thought. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. After eating a biscuit, Mr. Munson leaned across the table and softly asked, “Now explain what is going on.” He looked at Jeff and added, “You said it was important.” Jeff looked over at me. He wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell his father what was going on, or if I wanted him to do it. I nodded my head and said, “You tell him.” Jeff spent the next few minutes explaining what had happened earlier in Tracy’s room. Since he already knew that Tracy was gay, I didn’t feel that we were outing him to Jeff’s father. However, I felt embarrassed that he knew I was. I’m not sure why since this was the first time ever meeting Jeff’s father. After Jeff told him about the incident, he looked at me and asked, “So, they don’t know you’re gay?” I shook my head and sadly replied, “No, Sir. Well, they do now, I suppose.” He asked, “Are you afraid to go home?” Tears appeared in my eyes as I replied, “Yes, Sir.” I felt like crying, but I was able to stop the tears. “I don’t think they want me to come home.” “Have you talked to them?” “No, Sir.” “Then how do you know?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I just know they don’t.” Suddenly tears started to flow down my cheek. I cried, “You didn’t see the look on my mother’s face when she saw me kissing Tracy.” Mr. Munson didn’t say anything for several minutes. He took another chicken leg from the bucket and stared at me while he nibbled on it. Finally, he asked, “Would you let me call your father?” My heart started pounding as I asked, “Why?” He replied, “One, he has to know where you are. He must be worried sick by now. And secondly, it may not be as bad as you think.” I replied, “It’s as bad as I think. I know.” “Please, Jack,” he pleaded. “Let me talk to your father. Trust me.” Jeff reached down and gripped my hand. I was surprised when his father noticed him do it, but he said nothing. “Okay,” I said, “but just tell him I’m safe. Don’t tell him where I am.” Mr. Munson frowned and replied, “I can’t promise you that. What I will tell him is that you are safe, and you’ll be spending the night at our house. I’ll take you home in the morning. Deal?” I hesitated a moment before agreeing. I knew that Mr. Munson couldn’t stop Dad from coming to get me once he found out where I was. Besides, I could always run out the backdoor when he came. I had nothing to lose. “Okay,” I answered as I took out my phone, speed dialed my father’s cellphone and handed it to Jeff’s father. He rose from the table and went outside. Jeff and I watched from the booth as he calmly spoke to my father on the phone. Jeff looked over and asked, “What do you think will happen now?” “I don’t know,” I replied, “but it won’t be good.” “It may not be as bad as you think,” he assured me. “My parents had no problem when they found out I was gay.” “I think Dad will be okay,” I said, “but I don’t think my mother will be.” Tears welled up in my eyes when I told him, “You didn’t see the look on her face. I just know she hates me.” Several minutes later, Mr. Munson returned to the booth and handed me my phone. My hands were shaking as I took it and placed it in my pocket. I was afraid to hear what he had to say about the conversation he had with Dad. I didn’t help when Mr. Munson looked across the table and said, “You’ll have to give them time, Jack.” I started to cry. “I don’t know what that means,” I sobbed. I looked at him and asked, “They don’t want me to come home?” He shook his head. “I didn’t say that, Jack. I said they need some time to sort out their feelings.” He reached across the table, gripped my arm and assured me, “Your father wants you to come home.” I cried, “What about my mother?” He sadly shook his head and replied, “I don’t know. Your father didn’t mention your mother.” He squeezed my arm tighter and informed me, “You don’t have to go home tonight. I convinced him that you were upset, and I thought it was best if you spent the night at our house so I could continue to talk to you. I told him you needed to deal with it first before you confronted him.” I sadly nodded my head. “Well, let’s go,” he said as he grabbed the bucket with the remaining chicken and smiled at Jeff. “Your mother would kill us if we didn’t save her some.” Jeff pressed against me as we walked to his father’s car and got in. When we got to the Munson home, Jeff’s father told us to go into his den and wait for him. I walked over and sat on the sofa, and Jeff sat beside me with our legs touching lightly. He looked over and started giggling. “What?” I asked. I couldn’t understand what he found so funny. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It’s just that I’ve had such a crush on you for several years, and now you’re here.” I asked disbelievingly, “You’ve had a crush on me?” “Yeah,” he replied as his face reddened. “I think you’re really cute.” I started to protest, but his father entered the den and sat in a recliner. He looked over and asked, “Jack, are you going to be alright?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I don’t know.’ He looked over at Jeff and said, “Son, can I speak to Jack alone?” “Sure, Dad,” Jeff replied as he rose and left the room. Mr. Munson rose from his chair and sat beside me. Mr. Munson sat quietly for a moment before speaking. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, “When Jeff came to me and his mother several years ago and told us he might be gay, our first reaction was disbelief.” I gave him a puzzled look. If he was trying to reassure me, he was doing a horrible job. “It took us a while to adjust to the fact he was gay,” he continued. He rose, walked over and looked out the window. He then turned back to me. “As parents, we want what is best for our children. So, when he told us he was gay, we immediately thought the worse. At first, we wondered what we had done wrong.” He sat back down and stared into my eyes. “But that was four years ago. Since then, I’ve watched Jeff becoming a man.” Tears started to well up in his eyes. “There is nothing I would change about him. He’s a wonderful son.” He wiped tears away with his sleeve. “So, Jack, I guess what I’m trying to tell you, is give your parents some time.” I nodded my head. “Right now, this is something they weren’t expecting, or prepared for. No parent is.” He gently patted my leg. “I just met you tonight, but I can already sense that you are a good person.” He smiled and said, “Your parents raised you right. In time, they will come around to realize that.” Tears appeared in my eyes as I asked, “But what do I do in the meantime? I know they hate me now.” “Hate is a strong word,” replied Mr. Munson. “They love you. I can tell by the way your father reacted to me when I told him you were safe. Give them time to adjust.” I asked, “What if they don’t adjust? Then what do I do?” “We’ll deal with that if it happens,” he assured me. “One thing I want you to do, is trust me, Jack.” I nodded my head. “I’ve gotten Jeff through this, and I want to help you, too.” “Why?” I asked. “Hasn’t Jeff told you how me and the other guys treated him?” He smiled and asked, “Haven’t you heard a word I just said?” “About what? I don’t understand?” “People change, Jack,” he replied. “If you can’t understand that, then it’s going to be harder for you to accept the situation you’re in. You have to give people time to change.” I felt like crying when I asked, “It’s going to be hard, isn’t it?” He smiled and responded, “Life is always hard. You just learn to roll with the punches.” “I guess so,” I replied somberly. He looked at his watch. “It’s getting late,” he said. “Why don’t you go on up to Jeff’s room and try to get some sleep.” We rose, and I hesitated before reaching out and giving Mr. Munson a hug. “Thanks,” I said. He hugged me tightly. “I mean it, Jack. You come see me anytime you want.” I smiled and said, “I will, Sir.” I then left the room and headed to Jeff’s room. Jeff was lying on his bed in his underwear and appeared to be watching television when I entered. There was no light on, and the glow from the television illuminated his thin, hairless body. I walked over and stared down at him. When he didn’t move, I realized that he was asleep. I started to tiptoe from the room when he softly said, “Don’t leave. I’m awake, Jack.” He turned over onto his back, and I noticed a bulge in his underwear. Nervously, I asked, “Where am I supposed to sleep?” I stretched and added, “I’m kind of tired.” Jeff rose from the bed, and his cock strained against the material of his underwear. I couldn’t help but stand and stare at him. He giggled and readjusted his erection. “Sorry,” he laughed. “I was just dreaming of you.” If the room hadn’t been so dark, I’m sure he was blushing brightly. “Uh,” I repeated, “Where do you want me to sleep?” I quickly scanned his near naked body. His body was completely hairless except for a light dusting of hair on his legs. He was petite and had a girlish figure. It wasn’t muscular like Tracy’s. He put his hands in front of his underwear in an attempt to hide his erection. “I can make you up a place to sleep on the sofa in the family room,” he suggested. He turned and pointed to his bed. “Or you can sleep in bed with me.” He gave me a wicked grin. “I promise not to rape you when you sleep.” I laughed and replied, “Who said I’m going to sleep?” “Damn,” he giggled. He turned, sat on the side of the bed and pointed to a door. “You can take a shower in my bathroom if you want to.” “Okay,” I replied. “I need to clean up before bed.” I looked around the room as my face began to redden. “I don’t have anything to sleep in.” Jeff giggled and replied, “I sleep in my underwear, as you can see.” “Um,” I responded nervously. “Okay.” I turned and headed toward the bathroom. “Jack?” I turned and asked, “Yeah?” “You can undress here and put your clothes over that chair,” he suggested. “Yeah, sure,” I said nervously. I was afraid to undress with Jeff watching me. I took a deep breath and removed my shirt. Jeff gulped nervously and continued to watch me. I toed off my shoes and removed my socks. I looked at Jeff, and then I removed my pants. Jeff’s eyes widened when he saw my erection straining in my underwear. Undressing in front of him had excited me. It was the first time since the ninth grade I had undressed in front of another boy. “Wow, Jack!” he said excitedly. “You have a nice body.” “Thanks,” I replied as I turned and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the shower. When the water warmed, I removed my underwear and entered. As I was lathering my body, I could see Jeff enter through the stained glass of the shower door. He was naked! “Jack?” His voice trembled nervously. “Can I get in the shower with you?” I felt my heart stop. I knew I was entering dangerous territory. It was obvious that Jack wanted to have sex with me. He had been flirting with me all night. Other than Tracy sucking me off earlier, I had never had sex with another boy. I wasn’t sure I was ready to open that door yet. When I didn’t respond, Jeff turned and sadly said, “Sorry, Jack. I hope you’re not mad at me.” Before he closed the door, I hollered out, “Wait, Jeff.” I could see him halt and turn toward me. “Okay,” I responded, “but only if we just shower.” I could hear the happiness in his voice as he responded, “Okay.” He pulled back the shower door and looked in. I immediately noticed his small dick jutting out about five inches. He grinned as he stepped into the shower and faced me. It was extremely awkward. Now that we were standing naked before each other, we didn’t know what to do. We each just looked down and stared at the erections before us. Jeff giggled, grabbed his dick and asked, “What should we do about these?” I laughed, grabbed mine and replied, “I don’t know.” “I do,” said Jeff as he stood on his tiptoes and kissed me gently. When I responded to his kiss, he hesitantly placed his hands around my hard dick. “Mmm,” I purred into his mouth. He reached for my hand and had me wrap it around his stiff, small dick. We continued to kiss as we masturbated each other. He pulled away and mumbled, “This is nice. I always dreamed doing this with you, but I never thought it would happen.” I gasped when he dropped to his knees, took my dick into his mouth and started sucking me. I wanted to tell Jeff to stop, but I couldn’t. What he was doing felt too good. I put my hands on his head and began pumping my cock into his mouth. After several minutes, I pulled away and warned, “I’m cumming!” He grabbed my cock and engulfed it just as I started to cum. I felt my knees weakened, and I leaned against the wall to prevent myself from falling. Jeff then rose, embraced me, and we kissed passionately. “That was wonderful, Jack,” he said softly as he held me tightly. We broke our embrace, and I stepped back. “We’d better finish showering,” I suggested. “The water is going to get cold.” Jeff seemed disappointed. I know he expected me to do what he did to me, but I was too afraid. I had never sucked another boy, and I was afraid I wouldn’t know what to do. Jeff grabbed the soap and started lathering my body. It felt strange to have another person running their hands over my body. I had just cum, but my cock began to harden when Jeff lathered my genitals and soaped my pubic hairs. I thought I would cum again when he ran his hand over my butt and lathered it. When he finished, I stepped back and let the water rinse the soap off me. He grinned and handed me the soap, “Your turn.” I took the soap and ran it over his slim chest. He closed his eyes and seemed to really enjoy the sensation. Hesitantly, I reached down and ran my hand over his erect cock. He moaned, and I was afraid he was going to cum. I stepped behind him and rubbed the soap into his sparse pubic hair. I then ran soap over his narrow butt. He moaned again and leaned into me. My erection rubbed against his ass, and I felt like I too might cum again. “Oh, yeah, Jack,” he moaned as he humped against my hard dick. I pressed my erection into him and began to rub it against his ass crack. I reached around and started to jerk him off. He grabbed my hand. “Not yet,” he said excitedly. “I want to wait.” He stepped away and let the water rinse him off. He turned off the water, reached for two towels and handed me one. We took turns drying each other off before we stepped out and headed over to his bed. When I started to put on my underwear, he stopped me. “Can we sleep naked?” he asked. Nervously, I responded, “Sure. I guess.” He smiled and climbed into bed. I got into bed beside him. He turned off the light and lay back. In the dark, I watched as he reached for his dick and started to masturbate. “I still haven’t cum,” he announced. He continued to jerk off for a minute before he stopped, grabbed my hand and placed it on his erection. “Jerk me off, Jack,” he pleaded. I lay on my side just inches from his dick as I stroked him gently. He moaned when I flicked my tongue against his dick. I was curious what it would feel like. “Will you suck me?” he asked lustily. I was afraid. I had never done it before, even though I had watched boys doing it on the internet many times. Tracy and Jeff had both sucked me, but I was afraid to take the final step. “Please?” he begged as he thrust his cock towards my face. Hesitantly, I took about an inch into my mouth. Jeff hissed and shoved it deeper. I opened wider and let him put it in deeper until I felt his pubes rub against my lips. “Mmmmm,” he moaned louder. I was beginning to gain confidence as he continued to thrust his cock into my mouth. In fact, I found it extremely exciting because Jeff seemed to be really enjoying what I was doing. After several minutes, he tensed up and whispered softly, “I’m going to cum.” I pulled off and could feel his cock pulse in my hand as he erupted. After several large volleys of cum, his body went limp. Hesitantly, I took his softening cock and sucked it gently. I was curious what it would taste like. Jeff let out a stifled moan, and he shot a few drops into my mouth. He jumped from the bed and hurried into this bathroom. I could hear him running water as I imagined he was cleaning the mess from his body. He returned with a towel and handed it to me. I wiped my mouth as he got into bed. Jeff crawled on top of me, and we kissed for several minutes. We both hardened, but neither of us felt like having sex again. He finally rolled off and snuggled next to me. “Thanks, Jack,” he said softly. “You too,” I replied. I soon heard him start to snore lightly. I lay awake for a while afterwards listening to him sleep. “Jack,” I said to myself. “You are officially gay.” I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
  14. Ronyx

    Chapter 9

    I couldn’t believe what Jeff had said to me. His warning made it obvious he knew I was gay. I also knew that he was right. My world was crumbling down around me, and there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless, and there was no one I could talk to about my feelings. I could talk to Tracy. He had gone through what I am now feeling. He said he was glad his family moved because of the problems he had faced. But what advice could he give me? From what I could see, things were no different for him now. It would only be a matter of time before other students began to treat him like they do Jeff. I also felt bad for Jeff. The hurt in his eyes when he told me he knew why other students had been avoiding him for years gave me a little pain in my heart. I can’t describe the look he gave me when he said it. It was as if I could feel the loneliness he had experienced. And I am afraid that is the path my life is now following. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to withstand the peer pressure. I’m only sixteen. I don’t want my life to be filled with hate and scorn. I quietly left the library when the bell rang and headed for my fifth period class. I was startled when Tyler walked up beside me. He nervously looked over at me and asked, “Is it true, Jack?” “Is what true?” He replied, “Jimmy says you’re gay. Are you?” I looked over in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that one of my best friends had just come out and asked me something like that. Without answering, I quickened my pace and hurried down the hall to class. When I entered sixth period, Tracy was sitting in the back of the room. He motioned for me to join him. “Hey, Jack,” he smiled as he pointed to an empty desk next to his. “I saved you a seat.” I wanted to turn and sit in the desk where I had been sitting, but I reluctantly sat down beside him. “Thanks,” I muttered as I took my world history book out of my book bag. Tracy looked worriedly over at me. “You okay, Jack?” I sighed and replied, “I’ll get by.” Just then, the bell rang, and Mr. Humphreys began class. Fifty minutes later, I knew all I needed to know about the Mesopotamia. Tracy stood when the bell rang. “Jesus,” he muttered. “I can’t believe how boring this guy is.” For the first time all day, I let out a laugh. Absentmindedly, I followed Tracy to his locker as he put his books away. When he finished, he walked beside me to my locker. “You seem pretty depressed,” he remarked as I opened my locker and crammed my book bag inside. I had a story to read for literature, but I could google it online and read it at my computer. No sense in carrying a ten-pound book home in my bookbag. When I didn’t respond, he asked, “Well, are you?” I asked, “Am I what?” I knew what he was asking me, but I didn’t want to answer. There was no way I could tell him what I was feeling. I still hated myself for the way I had treated Jeff over the years. That’s something you can’t explain to anyone. “Depressed,” he said. I slammed my locker shut and headed off down the hall with Tracy running to catch up with me. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Do you need to talk about something?” Tears started to well up in my eyes. My voice quivered when I asked him, “How do you do it?” He gave me a puzzled look and asked, “Do what?” “Handle being gay?” He smiled and replied, “I dance.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall. “Come on.” “Where are we going?” He giggled and replied, “To dance.” As Tracy and I headed home, I kept looking behind us to see if Jimmy and the other guys were following us. Since basketball practice was just starting, I didn’t expect to see them. However, I still wasn’t sure what their schedule was. As we approached my house, I told Tracy that I needed to go change into something more comfortable. I had no idea what he meant by dancing, but I was sure I couldn’t do it in the jeans and shirt I was wearing. I thought he would head to his house, but instead he said, “I’ll go with you.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to follow me. My mother’s car was in the driveway. Lately, she had said some very derogatory comments about Tracy. I still wasn’t talking to her after the argument we recently had. She was in the family room watching television with Karen. I tried to hurry to my room, but she saw me and hollered out, “Jack! Can you come in here a minute?” I motioned for Tracy to remain in the hall out of sight, but he still followed me into the family room. My mother scowled when she noticed him behind me. I asked, “What do you want, Mother?” She glanced at Tracy and then said, “Your father wants you to clean out the garage.” “What?” I asked angrily. I knew what she was trying to do. My father didn’t want me to clean the garage. I had done it a week earlier so I could get some money to go to the movies with Jimmy. “I just cleaned it,” I informed her. “Umm,” she stammered. “He wants you to do it again.” I stomped my foot on the floor and shouted, “This is bullshit, and you know it!” Her eyes narrowed, and her face reddened. She pointed to the door and ordered, “Go to your room!” When I turned and stormed out of the room, Tracy started to follow me. She shouted, “Alone!” Instead of heading upstairs to my room, I headed toward the front door. I opened it and let Tracy exit before me. Once outside, I slammed the door shut. I cringed hoping that I wouldn’t shatter the window. As I angrily made my way across the street, my mother opened the door and shouted out, “Jack! You get back here! If you don’t, then don’t bother to come home tonight!” Once inside Tracy’s home, he exhaled and muttered, “Holy shit!” He looked worriedly at me and asked, “Are you okay, Jack?” I looked around to make sure we were alone. I didn’t see his mother’s van in the driveway, so I assumed we were alone. I sat on the stairs and placed my head in my hands. “She’s a bitch,” I muttered angrily. He sat beside me and asked, “What’s going on?” I turned and replied, “She doesn’t want me hanging with you.” “Why?” I rolled my eyes and responded, “Why do you think?” “Is it because she thinks I’m gay?” I smiled and said, “Something like that.” He stared into my eyes, and then he leaned in and kissed me gently. He started giggling and pulled away. He looked at the door and shouted out, “Hey, Mrs. Woolery! I’m not doing anything nasty with your son.” I laughed and pushed his shoulder. “You’re an idiot,” I remarked. I leaned in and returned his kiss. It became more passionate as he pushed me back on the stairs and straddled me. I could feel our erections grinding against each other. He reached behind his back and gripped my hard dick. “Mmmm,” I moaned into his mouth. I didn’t resist when he unbuckled the button and unzipped my pants. I thought I would cum when he reached into my underwear and began stroking me. I knew I should stop him, but I didn’t. Having sex with Tracy would be revenge for the way my mother was treating him. She already suspected that I was gay and having sex with him. There was no point in resisting now. He lowered his body until his face was directly in front of my exposed cock. I gasped when he took it in his mouth and started sucking me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his mouth as it engulfed my cock. I couldn’t believe the incredible sensation I was feeling. It sure felt better than jacking off in the bedroom. Suddenly, I felt that unmistakable feeling just before you cum. I tried to warn Tracy, but it was too late. I exploded into this mouth. He gagged slightly, and then swallowed the creamy mixture. I collapsed against the stairs and tried to catch my breath. He rose and rested his body against mine. “Feel good?” he smiled. “You have no idea,” I moaned. He leaned in and gave me a passionate kiss. “I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you,” he said. He then kissed me again. My face reddened slightly as I confessed, “I’ve wanted you to.” He reached around, grabbed my soft cock and asked, “Want me to do it again?” “No!” I laughed. “Once is enough.” “You sure?” he asked as he stroked me, trying to get me hard again. I grabbed his hand and said, “Yeah. I’m sure.” He stood and reached for my hand. He helped me up and pulled me up the stairs. “Let’s go to my room. We’re going to dance.” When we got to his room, he closed the door. I watched as he crossed the room and began removing his clothes. I asked, “What are you doing?” He grinned and replied, “Changing into something more suitable.” He stripped naked, and then he put on a tight pair of shorts. He removed another pair from a dresser drawer and tossed them at me. “Here, put this on.” I held them up and examined them. They looked like something my little sister, Karen, would wear. I told Tracy, “These won’t fit me.” “Sure, they will,” he replied as he walked over and began to undress me. When I was naked, he stepped back and scanned my body. My face began to redden as he smiled at my nude body. He pointed at the shorts and said, “Go ahead. Put them on.” I frowned and attempted to pull them onto my legs. Tracy laughed, leaned down and started tugging at them. “You’re bigger than me,” he exclaimed as he gave them a tug. “Ouch!” I screamed as the shorts fit snuggly against my balls. He laughed and rubbed them. “Aw,” he giggled. “Did we hurt your wittle balls.” I laughed and stated, “You didn’t think they were so little a minute ago.” He gripped my cock and leaned in to kiss me. We stood in the middle of the room and kissed passionately. He moaned into my mouth when I took his cock and began to stroke it through the thin material. I reached my hand inside his shorts and began to masturbate him. Suddenly, the door opened. “Tracy? Oh, my God!” It was his mother. We jumped apart, but not before she saw us. I turned and saw my mother standing behind her. I can’t describe the look of horror on her face. Mrs. Craft slammed the door, and I could hear her trying to get my mother to go downstairs. “My God!” my mother screamed. “I can’t believe what we just saw!” The last thing I heard her shout was, “I’ll kill him!” I then heard their footsteps on the stairs as they headed downstairs. “No! No! No!” I cried as I walked over and sat down on the bed. Tracy reluctantly sat down beside me. He asked worriedly, “Are you okay, Jack.” Tearfully I replied, “Yeah, sure. I’m just great. My mother just saw me kissing you with my hands in your shorts.” I began to cry harder. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Tracy reached out to hug me, put I pulled away. “God, Jack!” he exclaimed. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea my mother came home.” When he reached out and pulled me into his chest, I didn’t resist. We went over to his bed and sat down. I was devastated. All my fears had now been exposed. My mother knew I am gay. Just weeks ago, everyone was fine. I had managed to keep my secret just that- a secret. Now, Tracy had moved across the street and changed my world. Suddenly, I pulled away from him. A wave of resentment filled me. I hated him. He was the cause of all my problems. If only he hadn’t come into my life. If only he hadn’t tried to get me to dance. He said that dancing was a release for him. It helped him cope with a cruel world. But involving me in his stupid therapy ruined my life. If only I had gone to my room and not let him seduce me into his imaginary world. He gave me a worried look and asked, “What’s wrong?” I stared into his green eyes. Now, instead of being mesmerized, I found them dark and hideous. Those green eyes had made me succumb to a place I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to be gay. His lust had exposed me, and I felt like a fool for yielding to the temptation. I stood, looked angrily down at him and said, “I gotta go.” He reached out and attempted to stop me, but I pulled away. “Jack! Wait!” were the last words I heard him cry out as I bounded down the stairs. I hurried out the door, stood on the sidewalk and looked across the street at my house. I expected to see my mother looking out the window with the curtain pulled back. The house looked empty and desolate, much like I was feeling inside. The wind was picking up, and the cold air made me shiver. I looked down at my body to discover that I had rushed so quickly from the house that I was still wearing the skimpy shorts that Tracy had given me to wear. I placed my hand against my crotch. I felt naked and vulnerable. I hurried down the street, not knowing where I was going. My biggest fear was that someone would call the police and report a half-naked boy on the sidewalk. I was two blocks away when I noticed Jeff heading my way. He stopped and stared at me with a startled look. I hurried up to him. He backed away when I approached, but I reached out and grabbed him tightly. I begged, “Help me, please!” He tentatively put his arms around me and held me tightly. “Jack, what is wrong?” I trembled in his embrace. “Why are you outside like this?” I pulled away and asked, “Do you live around here? Can you take me to your house?” He looked around and then replied, “Sure.” He pointed down the street. “I live about a block away.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me away. We both kept scanning the area to see if anyone had noticed me. We walked about a block and half until we came to a large, two-story house. It had a large porch with several rockers. He fumbled for his key, and then he opened the door. I followed him upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door and stared at me. His eyes quickly scanned my nearly naked body. He asked, “Tell me what’s going on, Jack. Are you in trouble?” I walked over to this bed and sat down, burying my head in my hands. “I’m going to kill myself,” I mumbled softly. He sat down beside me and put his arm around me. “What has happened?” When I didn’t respond, he turned toward me, placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me. “Jack!” he shouted. “Tell me what’s wrong.” I started to cry, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I buried my head into his shoulder and wept. He tried to encourage me by telling me that whatever was wrong would be okay. “No, it won’t!” I cried. After a couple of minutes, I began to relax. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was sitting practically naked beside Jeff. I stood and asked, “Do you have anything I can wear?” His eyes gazed at my crotch, and he replied, “Yeah. I think so. Hold on.” He walked across the room and left. A minute later, he returned with a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. “Here,” he said as he handed me the clothes. “These belong to my older brother. They should fit you.” He watched as I put on the shorts and pulled the tee shirt over my body. I then sat back down beside him I muttered, “Thanks.” He gave me a worried look and asked, “What’s going on, Jack?” I started to make an excuse when his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller, stood and said, “I’ll be right back.” I figured it must be one of his parents calling, and he didn’t want me to hear their conversation. Jeff returned a couple of minutes later. He gave me a worried look as he walked across the room, opened a closet door and pulled out a small pair of athletic shorts. He turned and removed the pants the had worn to school. I stared at his narrow ass that was outlined in a tight pair of red bikini underwear. I was disappointed when he pulled the shorts over his body. He then unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. His body was thin, but surprisingly quite muscular for his small build. I stared at the two, pink nipples on his well-defined chest. He blushed when he noticed me staring at him. He walked across the room and sat down beside me. He put his phone on the bed beside him and said, “That was Tracy. He’s coming over.” I stood and announced nervously, “I gotta go.” Jeff gripped my wrist and stopped me. “Jack, don’t go.” He stood and faced me. “I don’t know what is going on, but Tracy told me to keep you here until he gets here.” Tears filled my eyes. “You don’t understand,” I cried. Jeff reached for me and pulled me into a tight hug. He muttered softly, “I understand more than you think.” I relaxed in his embrace. He led me back over to the bed and had me sit down. He then sat down next to me as our legs pressed against one another. I don’t know what made me say it, but I looked into his eyes and announced, “Jeff. I’m gay.” He smiled slightly and replied, “I know.” “You do?” It surprised me that he already knew. Then I assumed that Tracy had told him. “Did Tracy tell you?” “No, Jack,” he replied as he reached down and took my hand in his. “I’ve just watched you over the years. You’re not like all the other guys.” He squeezed my hand tighter. “You never messed with me like Jimmy and the other guys.” His face reddened as he added, “I just kind of hoped you were gay.” My eyes widened as I responded, “You did?” He surprised me when he kissed my cheek. He looked into my eyes and said, “You really have no idea how cute you are, do you?” I laughed and replied, “Me? Cute?” I laughed again. “I don’t think so.” He squeezed my hand and insisted, “Take my word for it. You are.” I looked at his pink lips and had an urge to kiss him. I think he was expecting me to because he closed his eyes. We jumped when someone started pounding on the door downstairs. Jeff jumped off the bed and said, “That’s Tracy. I’ll go let him in.” He hurried out the bedroom and bounded downstairs. I didn’t want to see Tracy. It wasn’t because I thought he was responsible for what happened in his bedroom. I was embarrassed because I had acted like an ass and rushed from his room. I should have stayed and talked about what happened. Jeff entered the bedroom while Tracy stood at the door looking at me. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him again. I stood, held out my arms and he rushed across the room and pulled me into a tight hug. He kissed me and said, “God, I was so worried about you. I thought you were going to do something to yourself.” Jeff stood off to the side and watched us. Finally, he asked, “What is going on, Guys?” We sat on the bed and Tracy explained what happened. He held my hand the entire time he told Jeff about our mothers barging in on us in his bedroom. When he finished, Jeff responded with an astonished, “Wow!” He looked worriedly at me and asked, “What are you going to do, Jack?” I shook my head and replied, “I don’t know what to do.” Tears filled my eyes when I added, “I don’t think I can go home.” Jeff asked worriedly, “Why? Maybe it won’t be so bad.” I shook my head and replied, “You didn’t see the look on my mother’s face.” Tracy gripped my hand tightly. “You can go home with me tonight,” he volunteered. I responded, “I can’t do that. That’s the first place she’s going to look.” Jeff suggested, “Why don’t you stay here tonight? My parents won’t mind.” I giggled and replied, “They’ll be harboring a fugitive.” I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’ll be okay. I’ll find some place to stay.” Jeff grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “You’re not going anywhere,” he insisted. “When Dad comes home, I’m going to talk to him. He’ll know what to do.” “He’s right, Jack,” said Tracy as he held my other hand. “I’ve met Jeff’s dad. He’s pretty cool.” Suddenly, I started to laugh. They looked at me like I was crazy. I held up our entwined hands and said, “This is pretty gay, the three of us holding hands.” Tracy grinned, leaned towards me and said, “Gay this.” He then kissed me. “Yeah,” laughed Jeff. “Gay this.” It surprised me when he leaned in and kissed me more passionately. “Hey,” giggled Tracy. “What about me?” My eyes widened when they embraced and kissed. “There,” smiled Jeff. “It’s sealed with a kiss. You’re staying here tonight.” I looked at him and replied skeptically, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” Jeff giggled and kissed me again.
  15. Ronyx

    Chapter 8

    I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I couldn’t close my eyes, because when I did, I could imagine myself crashing into the wall ahead. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Worse still, I couldn’t understand how to control what was surely to happen. After what happened earlier in Tracy’s bedroom, there was no way I could avoid him. He had kissed me! And I enjoyed it! I wasn’t sure where our friendship would go. He’s the one who said we could be like kissing cousins. He had opened a door, and there was no way I was going to slam it shut on him. But after the confrontation with Jimmy, I knew that there was no way I could be friends with Tracy and Jimmy. There was too strong a divide. Jimmy sided with my mother. Tracy was gay, and that was a bridge that he couldn’t cross. And if he couldn’t cross that bridge for Tracy, then he surely wouldn’t cross it for me. My bigger problem, however, was my mother. Would she cross the bridge for me if I ever came out? My father confused me. He seemed to like Tracy. Not once had he said anything derogatory about him other than joking to Tracy’s dad that he should have insisted that he take up a man’s sport like baseball rather than ballet. Mr. Crawford was at first insulted, but they seemed to forget about it over a few beers. I was also confused why he had put his hand on my shoulder when I came downstairs. I was sure my mother had discussed with him about the argument we had earlier. Yet, he said nothing during dinner. I got up from the bed and started pacing around my room. I still had an assignment for literature to complete, but I was still too upset. I walked over to the window, pulled back the curtain and looked over at Tracy’s window. He was standing at the window looking at me. I then remembered his comment as I was leaving his bedroom when he told me to sit on the porch and he would dance for me. I looked at the clock. It was 10:18. I didn’t know how I could sneak outside and sit on the porch without my parents noticing. Suddenly, my cellphone buzzed. I picked up the phone and noticed a text from Tracy. Can you watch me dance? I texted back: I don’t think so He texted: Turn out your bedroom light I walked over, locked my bedroom door and turned out the light. I walked over to the window, turned the flashlight on my phone and held it up to the window. Tracy then pulled the blinds up on his window. I watched as he stepped away from the window and moved to the far side of the room. From there, he wouldn’t be seen from the sidewalk. My phone buzzed again: You watching My hands shook as I texted back: yeah I couldn’t believe it when he pulled off the sweats he was wearing and stood nude in the middle of the room. I watched in amazement as he danced naked. I pulled my shorts down and began to stroke my hard dick. His dance wasn’t erotic but watching him dance naked excited me; I guess because I knew he was doing because he knew I was watching. He glided across the room in such a graceful manner, yet it aroused me. He then stopped, grabbed his dick and began to seductively stroke it. I watched excitedly until I felt my balls tighten and I erupted on the floor. It seemed that he knew because he threw back his head and I watched breathless as he shot out a huge load onto the floor. He disappeared for a few minutes. I reached down, took my underwear off the floor and cleaned the cum from my dick and the floor. When I looked out the window, Tracy was dressed and holding his phone in his hands. My cell buzzed: you like my dance? Hell yeah! I replied. Great! He responded with a smiley face. See you tomorrow. He then waved and closed the blinds. I put on my shorts and headed across the hall way to take a shower. My mother wasn’t in the kitchen when I went down for breakfast. My father was sitting at the table talking to Karen about a science project she was working on. He looked up at me when I entered. “Do you remember, Jack,” he laughed, “that science project you did in the fifth grade?” “Yeah,” I responded as my face reddened. I prepared a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk before sitting down. I smiled as my father related to my sister how I had almost burned down the garage when I attempted to make a balloon fly with baking soda and vinegar. “I was welding something when it flew over my head and exploded,” he laughed. “Scared the shit out of me.” Karen started giggling and told my father he had said a dirty word. He apologized and told her not to use that word like he did. He looked at me and stated, “It was funny, though.” I nodded my head and smiled. I was going to ask where mother was when she appeared at the door. She was dressed for work. Without saying anything, she walked over to the coffee pot and poured coffee into a thermos cup. She then left the kitchen without saying goodbye. My father looked over and frowned. “Give her time, Jack,” he said as he stood, patted me on my shoulder and left the room. I could hear him and my mother speaking angrily at the front door. They were talking low, so I couldn’t make out what they were saying. After eating, I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and headed out the backdoor. There was no use in waiting on Jimmy because I knew he wouldn’t show. I was already becoming used to the fact that our friendship was probably over. I was also certain that Brian and Tyler would no longer be friends. They were a lot like me, they did whatever Jimmy told them to do. As I headed down the sidewalk, Tracy ran across the street. He was smiling broadly was he approached. He grinned and asked, “Like my show last night?” My face turned a bright red. I still couldn’t believe he had danced naked for me, and worse yet, I had cum watching him do it. “Well, did you?” he asked again. I smiled and replied, “What do you think?” “Did you cum?” he giggled. “What!” “Did you cum?” he giggled louder. “I did.” “I saw,” I laughed. “So, did you?” My face turned fifty shades of red as I confessed, “Yeah.” We didn’t say anything more about it. He talked about some of his classes and a few of the boys he found cute. “Do you know anything about Brian Michaels?” “What?” I asked excitedly. “Brian?” “Yeah,” smiled Tracy. “He sits beside me in Spanish. I think he’s cute.” “No!” I warned him. “I’ve known Brian all my life. He’s straight as an arrow.” Tracy frowned. “Damn. All the cute ones are always straight,” he replied. “Well, anyway, he’s nice eye candy to look at.” “Just be careful,” I warned him. “In fact, be careful around him and Jimmy.” “Okay,” he assured me. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.” We talked on the way to school like we had known each other for years. I guess once you feel on a guy and kiss him, you let down your barriers. It was fine as long as we were alone. I was worried what would happen once we entered school. He followed me to my locker as I took out the books I would need for my morning classes. When I closed my locker, he turned and headed down the hall. I wasn’t sure what I should do. I know he expected me to walk with him, but I was afraid that other students might see me. A wave of shame overpowered me. I’m gay, but I’m afraid of being seen with another gay boy. I had to make a decision, and I had to make it fast. Tracy turned, smiled and seemed to wait on me. I think he knew what was going on in my mind. We stood and stared at each other for several seconds. A sad look appeared on his face before he turned and started to walk slowly away. I hollered out, “Hold up, Tracy!” He turned and smiled broadly when I ran up beside him as we headed toward his locker. After retrieving his books, we headed to the cafeteria. The room was already bustling with the noise of students arriving to school. When we entered, I immediately glanced over at the table where Jimmy and the rest of the gang sat. Tyler nudged Jimmy in the side and pointed at us. Jimmy turned and scowled as we crossed the cafeteria. I glanced out of the side of my eye to see them animatedly talking about us. Tracy got a box of cereal and a container of milk. “You getting anything?” he asked when he saw me standing off to the side. “No,” I replied. I was afraid that if I ate anything, I might throw it up. I was afraid that deciding to walk with Tracy might have been a mistake when Jimmy, Tyler and Brian saw me with him. I could imagine that they were making jokes about me and Tracy being boyfriends. To make matters worse, Tracy saw Jeff sitting alone at a table and headed over to sit with him. He looked over his shoulder to see what I would do. Reluctantly, I followed him to the table and sat down beside Tracy. Jeff gave me a timid wave and said, “Hi, Jack.” “Hi, Jeff,” I responded nervously. He was making me uncomfortable because he appeared extremely nervous. You would have thought that the Pope had sat across from him as he stared across the table at me. Tracy started giggling and said, “You two need to get a room.” Jeff gave Tracy a puzzled look before looking back at me. I was angry at Tracy because he had promised me he wouldn’t say anything to Jeff about me being gay. However, his comment insinuated that I was. Why else would he have said it? As if he read my mind, he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it. “Sorry, Jack,” he apologized. Jeff looked aghast as he stared at Tracy’s hand on my leg. He appeared confused as he asked, “What is going on, Guys?” Tracy quickly removed his hand from my leg. “Nothing,” replied Tracy. “Nothing’s going on.” Jeff raised and eyebrow as he continued to stare at us. He started smiling and said, “If you say so.” I sat speechless. I could tell by the looks that Tracy and Jeff were exchanging that they were somehow communicating to each other that I was gay. Besides, if I wasn’t, why would I be sitting with them? I quickly scanned the tables around me to see if anyone was saying anything about us. Tracy noticed my actions and started giggling. “Relax, Jack,” he said. “Just tell people I’m new to school, and you’re showing me around.” Jeff had an amazed look on his face as he continued to stare at me. “Jack?” he asked, “Are you gay?” I quickly looked over at Tracy. I knew I had made a mistake when I sat down with them. There was no way I could confess to Jeff that I was gay. Not after all the years of avoiding him. Tracy spoke up for me. “Jeff,” he said. “Jack’s sitting with us because I asked him to. It doesn’t mean anything.” “Okay,” responded Jeff skeptically. “If you say so.” Again, he made me uncomfortable as he continued to stare into my eyes. I could tell he knew my secret. But for now, he was accepting that I didn’t want to talk about it. Tracy and Jeff began to talk about how Tracy was doing in his classes. Tracy told him he found them rather easy because he had learned most of the material last year. He laughed, “And I thought North Dakota was backwards. Most of the stuff I learned last year.” Jeff laughed and replied, “Well, we aren’t exactly the brightest place in the world.” For some reason, I glanced over at Jimmy, Brian and Tyler. They were still staring over at us. Just then, the bell rang. I threw my bookbag over my shoulder. “See you later, Guys,” I said to Tracy and Jeff. “See you second period, Jack,” responded Tracy. As I exited the door and headed down the hall, someone bumped into me. I almost fell, and I had to quickly regain my balance. Someone muttered, “Fag.” I looked up and saw Jimmy quickly walking away. As I approached, Tracy was waiting for me outside our second period class. “Hey,” he smiled as I neared him. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching us. “Relax,” he whispered as I walked by. “I’m not going to rape you out here in the hall.” He giggled and added, “Not that I wouldn’t like to.” I took a seat, and he sat down beside me. Jeff hurried into the room and sat down in front of Tracy. I noticed that Tyler had turned to watch us. I felt the whole thing was getting out of hand. I had Tracy on one side of me pulling me one way. On the other side, Jimmy, Tyler, Brian and all my other friends were tugging on me the other. I was becoming increasingly worried that I would be pulled in the direction of Tracy. Even though I had known the other guys since I was a boy, I felt that I shared more with Tracy. I had gone past a point of no return, and I was scared to death. I would feel like a hypocrite if I turned my back on Tracy. We had shared so many secrets together in just the few days we had known each other. I also felt that Jeff was beginning to understand more than I cared for him to know. It would only be a short time until he knew my secret. He almost insinuated he understood at breakfast. And after befriending Tracy, I didn’t think it would be possible to go back to Jimmy and the others and try to live a lie. Jimmy’s anger toward me seemed to be growing stronger. I doubt he would let me back into our tight little group. Tyler, Brian and the others followed Jimmy like loyal flying monkeys. All he had to do was give the word that I was no longer a friend, and they would do it. Tracy looked over at me and whispered, “Are you okay, Jack? You look like you’re a million miles away?” I attempted a smile and replied, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He gave me a concerned look as if he didn’t believe me. Again, I ditched lunch and went to the library. Normally, a student needs a pass to enter, but the librarian relaxes the rules during the lunch hour. She knows that for many of us, it is the only time of the day we get a chance to work on a research paper or classroom project. I hid in the back at a study carrel. I was sure that no one could see me. I took out my world history book and attempted to work on a homework assignment, but I couldn’t concentrate. I looked out across the library and studied the students sitting nearby. I wondered how many of them would feel if they knew I was gay. Times are changing, and more people are beginning to accept gays and lesbians. However, I think that is because they don’t personally know any. At least not at our school. I’ve read articles about how students are accepted at other schools, but I figure those are urban schools with larger numbers of gay students. But here is different. Everyone knows everyone. We’ve been attending school since kindergarten. I may not be a popular student, but still everyone knows Jack Woolery. They know my mom and dad. My father owns a landscaping business in town, and my mother is the secretary for one of the insurance agents in town. She knows everything from who recently wrecked their car to who had a new roof replaced. Everyone also knows my sister, Stephanie. She graduated a couple of years ago as the salutatorian of her class. Word travels quickly here. Tracy’s family just moved here last week, but it seems like everyone was already aware of them. Mr. Richmond, before he died, had been mayor for several years. Tracy’s family was referred to as the people who moved into the Mayor’s house. So, if word gets out that I am gay, then they whole town will know. It will be like last year when Mr. Singleton was caught having an affair with Mrs. Pruitt, the second-grade teacher. She left in the middle of the school year, and Mrs. Singleton filed for divorce. It was the talk of the town for months. Mrs. Singleton still can’t go into a store without someone telling her how sorry they are for her misfortune. I wonder if that is how it will be for my mother if people discover I am gay. Will they tell her how sorry they feel for her misfortune? Do other mothers try to console Jeff’s mother when she goes into a store. I only heard my mother mention her once, and that was a few years ago. She was telling my father about running into her at a parent teacher conference. At the time, I didn’t think anything about it when she referred to her as a ‘poor thing.’ Now, I think I understand. Will my father have to explain to other men why he has a gay son? Dad is very masculine. He works outside all day, and he’s in very good shape. There have been many times I think he is ashamed of me because I don’t participate in school sports. He attends many of the school’s sporting events, and I am forced to go along with him. When I was in the eighth grade, he was even the assistant coach for the junior baseball team. For weeks he tried to encourage me to play, but I refused. It’s not like I’m some kind of wimp or something. I’m just not interested like Jimmy and the others are. I enjoy playing basketball at the park with them, but I’m not very good, and I’m the last guy to be picked. Jimmy usually picks me because he feels sorry for me. Then I spend most of the time sitting on the sideline watching the other guys. As I looked around the library, I noticed Jeff walk in. He walked up to the librarian and handed her a pass. After walking away, he looked around. Suddenly, he noticed me. I tried to hide behind the carrel, but it was too late. I heard him softly say, “Hi, Jack. What are you doing back here?” I looked up at him and started to reply. Suddenly, I noticed his beautiful blue eyes, and it was as if my body froze. Words couldn’t form, and I sat gazing up at him. He waved his hand in front of my face ands started giggling. “Jack,” he asked, “Are you okay?” I blinked my eyes and replied, “Yeah, sure.” I grabbed my history book and pretended that I had been reading. “I’m just trying to get caught up on an assignment I forgot to do.” He timidly asked, “Can I sit down?” “Um,” I nervously replied as I quickly glanced around me, “Sure.” “I can go someplace else to sit,” he offered when he saw how nervous I was. “No,” I insisted, “Sit down.” I even pulled the seat out beside me. He pulled his bookbag off his shoulder, tossed it on the carrel and sat down. He grumbled, “I have a stupid report in science I’m working on. I’m doing a paper on the effects of carbon dioxide on our environment.” I giggled and replied, “Sounds like fun.” He smiled and said, “Yeah. Whoopee.” When he did, his eyes seemed to twinkle. Again, I sat and stared into his face. He started to blush and looked away. He dug into his bookbag and pulled out a paper. As he did, he said softly, “If you don’t quit staring at me like that, I’m going to jump you.” “What!” I responded nervously. He giggled and assured me, “It’s okay. I like it.” He looked at me as his cheeks reddened. I was so surprised by his comments, I pulled away from the table and started to stand. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Please, Jack,” he pleaded. “Don’t run away again.” I reluctantly sat back down. “Look, Jeff,” I said nervously. “I’m sorry.” My face began to redden as he stared at me. “It’s okay, Jack,” he responded softly. “I just want to be friends. I’m not asking for anything more.” I hated myself as soon as the words slipped my lips. “But you don’t understand.” He seemed hurt at first, but he smiled slightly. “I do understand, Jack. I know what the rule is around here.” I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What rule?” A saddened expression appeared on his face. “You guys aren’t supposed to talk to me because I’m gay. I’ve known that for several years.” I tried to act innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I was too embarrassed to agree with him. “Yes, you do, Jack,” he replied as he gathered his papers and stuffed them back into his bookbag. As he stood he looked down and warned, “And they’re going to treat you the same way.” My heart was pounding as I watched him walk down the aisle and exit the library.
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