Curiosity Killed The Cat - 1. Chapter 1

Curiosity Killed the Cat

By WL

You have all heard what happened to the tortoise and the hare?

The hare was so arrogant that he messed up the race by sleeping a few steps from the finish line and the tortoise out of share patience and humility won the race. A great parable and children's fable to teach people to be very humble despite overwhelming odds.

That is not what happened, though.

My name is Alfred ‘Schrodinger' Cat and Harry Harris Hare, the famous hare in the race, was my live-in boyfriend. Yeah, the species purist would say a tabby cat and a white tailed hare could never form a functional relationship. I simply respond to these fundamentalists with "Get a life"; I love Harry and that's enough. The only real difference is that I'm more obsessive compulsive about keeping myself clean versus him playing in the mud. I enjoy sharing a tongue bath with him at night. Don't judge us superficially!

Well, you guys want to hear the story, so I will not bore you with our personal lives and struggles. Harry is precocious and sometimes he is a little boastful. Those are not bad qualities in a hare, since they usually are too shy and introverted, staying in their holes for prolong periods of time. I got my boyfriend to leave his hole, where we started our relationship because he was afraid how the other animals would judge us.

Harry was at this party with me and he met this guy named Timothy Tort Tortoise III. The guy just rubbed Harry the wrong way and they got into an argument that resulted in the famous race. Timothy was an elitist introvert, who thought no one was good enough, but Harry kept on making his boasts.

During the day of the race, we woke up after a night of rousing sex; he's a rabbit basically, so you can imagine just how much sex we usually have. It gets boring after a while, so we change positions from time to time and try out different things. Well, when we got to the racing area; Timothy was waiting for us with his friends.

"Ah, Harry and Alf are here; well, let's see how you lower forms of mammals can compete to evolutionary superiority of the reptilians," Timothy said with his usual air.

"Hey, we mammals are just as good as you," Harry said

"I doubt you can compete to my genealogy. My ancestors have been around here for 215 million years, you two are mixed species of lower mammals from some bastard born 25 million years ago," Timothy spoke in his contemptuous tone.

Well, Timothy offered Harry some carrot juice and some catnip for me before the race. I had said no to the catnip, because I was trying to get off that stuff. Catnip is the cat version of crack and heroin combined; I had gotten into it as a high school kitten, but I went through a painful Detox and got off it.

Harry wasn't afraid of Timothy's carrot juice; rabbits just love carrots. I wonder if that is why he loves me so much, because my fur reminds him of his favorite food.

Well, the race went as history recorded; Harry ran well until the last mile, where he suddenly fell asleep. After the race, he woke up and found out what happened. Timothy wasn't exactly the humble victor.

"Harry, your boast are frivolous and inept; I would think your species had more speed than that. Perhaps, it's due to the company you keep," Timothy chided as we walked away in shame.

Harry left me afterward; I mean we broke up. He said he couldn't be with me anymore, because he was afraid that our unnatural relationship was inhibiting his natural abilities.

"Harry, you're acting nuts!" I said

"Alf, I love you, but I can't be in love with you," Harry replied.

"Dude, why are you taking that pompous tortoise, so literally?" I asked.

"I'm afraid, he's right. I am going against my natural instincts, when I am with you. It's making me weaker. How can we survive as a couple in the wild, if I can't even beat a tortoise? I think this was a sign of natural selection, I got to pursue the course that would bring us the most beneficial outcome," Harry said as he finished packing.

"Harry, please don't go!" I purred and began licking him with my tongue.

"Sorry, Alf, it's too late," Harry said and hopped out of our home.

Break ups are hard and I know Harry is hurting just as much as I am. He loves me and I love him, but he can't get over his lost. He can't get into the feeling that our relationship has weakened our natural instincts.

It made no sense that Harry would lose this race. Why would he fall asleep so close to the finish line giving up his win? There must be something to it; maybe it was the carrot juice.

I went to the tortoise nest to confront Timothy and asked him straight.

When, I reached the lair; there were a dozen alligators around his house, which frightened me. Alligators are the mafia enforcers in our neighborhood, so close to the swamp. I used my cat stealth to hide from them and go into Timothy's lair, where I heard him speaking to someone.

"Our plan worked perfectly!" Timothy exclaimed in joy.

"Yessssss! Harry leaving his kitten was merely a bonusssss. Our real goal of rigging the race and making a ton of money was achieved, sssss" a sinister sounding snake said.

I heard a noise from behind me and one of the alligators must have spotted me entering the lair. I was scared out of my wits and said nothing, but the alligator looked at me and smiled.

"Cat got your tongue," he said and the snake had moved in against me, too.

"Ssss, haven't you heard kitty that curiosity killed the cat?" the snake said and bit me with his venom.

That was all I remembered as my body is now being eaten by the carnivores.