My nephew came to me.

[Patrickgay17]

My nephew came to me the other day and asked me a question. Apparently he had been going around asking his parents what a homosexual was. Well my brothers thought it would be really funny to send him to his gay uncle. Im 17 and hes 14. (long story short i have ten brothers in case your doing the math). so he comes in and sits on the couch about thirty seconds later he just blurts it out. Uncle Pat whats a homosexual? While I completly knew what was going on I was speechless how was this child 14 and had know idea what it meant to be gay. I guess he had heard it at school or something. I had a feeling my brothers were gonna get a big kick out of that one and i just walked out of the room.

 

Did i make a huge mistatke?

[Bill W]

I would say, yes. Your nephew was probably very confused by your sudden and unexplained departure. Besides missing a chance to give him an 'honest' explanation of what a gay is, you've probably also made sure he'll never approach you with another question in the future. Go back to him an apologize for what happened, and if you can, try to explain to him why you acted as you did. Then give him the answer to his question, and hopefully this will be enough to regain his trust, and he will continue to come to you for other answers.

[Navigator]

I agree with bwstories8.

[Gentim]

While I can understand your reaction, even if you knew what was going on, I agree what the two previous posters, Navigator and bwstories8. You made a mistake with your nephew. He probably feels that you either don't care about him; can't answer his question; or are scared of driving him away.

 

I would first apologize to him for reacting the way you did and explain what your reasoning was for doing what you did. Then, sit him down and explain what homosexual means; how alot of the information about gays he gets from his friends may be distorted; and how you feel about the subject. I think that you'll find your nephew will be accepting of what you tell him, and that if he has any further questions that he can come to you for the answers on this and any other topic. Tell him that you're always willing to lend a sympathic ear on whatever subject he wants to talk about

[dkstories]

While I can understand your reaction, even if you knew what was going on, I agree what the two previous posters, Navigator and bwstories8.  You made a mistake with your nephew.  He probably feels that you either don't care about him; can't answer his question; or are scared of driving him away.

 

I would  first apologize to him for reacting the way you did and explain what your reasoning was for doing what you did.  Then, sit him down and explain what homosexual means; how alot of the information about gays he gets from his friends may be distorted; and how you feel about the subject.  I think that you'll find your nephew will be accepting of what you tell him, and that if he has any further questions that he can come to you for the answers on this and any other topic.  Tell him that you're always willing to lend a sympathic ear on whatever subject he wants to talk about

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Walking away without saying something is not the best thing to have done, but considering that it came out of left field for you, I can sympathize with your having done so. Don't beat yourself up about it, but try to use it as a learning experience, and do try to mend whatever fences may have been kicked over with your nephew. What your brothers did by sending him to you, without warning you first was not funny, and if I were you, I'd have some words with them, including "If you're going to send your kids to me for THIS talk, please warn me in advance."

 

Talk to your nephew, let him know you are not mad at him, but rather his father for not telling you in advance. Let him know you care for him, and be ready to answer his questions. There's going to be a lot of them beyond that first one, and try to prepare for them. For instance?

 

"But why are some men attracted to other men and others aren't?"

 

"Does it hurt?"

 

"Can't you just date girls instead?"

 

"Can't you change if you want?"

 

"Why do people talk so bad about homosexuals if they aren't bad?"

 

You've got a great group of people here who can help you answer these questions, and there are some great websites out there that can help as well.

 

To start with, I recommend: PFLAG as a resource for YOU and for HIM (and your brothers as well). Seventeen is a little young for some of the questions you're going to get. Don't be afraid to ask those here and elsewhere for advice, and DON'T be afraid to talk with your nephew. Tell him you needed to prepare for his questions. When you are prepared, talk. If he still asks something you're not ready to answer, tell him you'll get some information and answer him soon...and then DO IT!

[Crackerwriter]

Good advice I'd say from Dkstories. Whatever you do, don't just leave it or he'll never understand why you reacted like you did. That would just do more harm.

 

Mike.g

[Patrickgay17]

As I suspected at first that I screwed up you guys were all right. I went back to him and explained the situation as recomended and to my surprise he took it quite well. I told him to feel free to come back any time and yes I did have a talk with his father and that went pretty well to.

 

Thanks guys you really helped me out and gave me great advise.

[Bill W]

Patrick, I'm glad things worked out for you when you talked to your nephew again and hopefully you'll let your brothers know how dissatisfied you were with the way THEY handled things. All the best, my friend.