Parchment_Of_Love Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Okay, so give it to me. What do you think? Questions, comments, Concerns? I am here to answer.
KJames Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 (edited) Okay, so give it to me. What do you think? HJ, so far it's off to a frolicking good start! Please don't stop for lack of responses from others, sometimes they wait a few chapters before doing anything... (the lazy sots) I like the idea of him having a 'familiar' or bodyguard as it was put... Although his former 'best friend' sort of dumped him, what's the possibility that he might become friendly with someone, an ordinary human, 'new' at the school that 'Minx' might actually be friendly with? I take it the 'tattoos' are visible only to one of a similar type (vampire, familiar or other creature of magic background)? Edited April 9, 2010 by KJames
Parchment_Of_Love Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 HJ, so far it's off to a frolicking good start! Please don't stop for lack of responses from others, sometimes they wait a few chapters before doing anything... (the lazy sots) I like the idea of him having a 'familiar' or bodyguard as it was put... Although his former 'best friend' sort of dumped him, what's the possibility that he might become friendly with someone, an ordinary human, 'new' at the school that 'Minx' might actually be friendly with? I take it the 'tattoos' are visible only to one of a similar type (vampire, familiar or other creature of magic background)? I wasn't talking about stopping after the first chapter . That would be kinda stupid lol. Anyhow, I guess I should have made the tattoo thing more clear. They are visible by all creatures and humans, which will cause most of the talk around his school, along with a few other things. I don't normally write about magical creatures and such so I am pretty much making this up as I go along. The chapters will switch back and fourth between Jake and Donovan, and you will get to know Donovan a bit more. Hopefully you will like him! As far as Minx finding someone...how do you know he hasn't already?????*Devilish Grin* I am so glad you posted! Thank you, and I hope I cleared everything up. Smiles, Holly
KJames Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) I wasn't talking about stopping after the first chapter . That would be kinda stupid lol. Anyhow, I guess I should have made the tattoo thing more clear. They are visible by all creatures and humans, which will cause most of the talk around his school, along with a few other things. I don't normally write about magical creatures and such so I am pretty much making this up as I go along. The chapters will switch back and fourth between Jake and Donovan, and you will get to know Donovan a bit more. Hopefully you will like him! As far as Minx finding someone...how do you know he hasn't already?????*Devilish Grin* I am so glad you posted! Thank you, and I hope I cleared everything up. Smiles, Holly I wasn't talking about Minx finding someone, I was talking about Jake finding someone. And what happens if Donovan comes back and apologizes to Jake for reacting poorly, might that redeem him somewhat in the eyes of Minx if he can detect that the apology is honestly sincere and heartfelt? Edited April 13, 2010 by KJames
Parchment_Of_Love Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 I wasn't talking about Minx finding someone, I was talking about Jake finding someone. And what happens if Donovan comes back and apologizes to Jake for reacting poorly, might that redeem him somewhat in the eyes of Minx if he can detect that the apology is honestly sincere and heartfelt? *smacks self in head* I should have know that was what you were reffering to. Sorry. Anyhow, as far as Jake finding anyone you will just have to keep reading. The next chapter will be written from Donovan's point of view which, will lett you see the changes in Jake from donovan's POV. The Donovan and Minx situation will be intersting. Minx isn't one to forgive and forget when it comes to Donovan. I hope this was a better reply then the last and I hope you continue to read!
KJames Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 *smacks self in head* I should have know that was what you were reffering to. Sorry. Anyhow, as far as Jake finding anyone you will just have to keep reading. The next chapter will be written from Donovan's point of view which, will lett you see the changes in Jake from donovan's POV. The Donovan and Minx situation will be intersting. Minx isn't one to forgive and forget when it comes to Donovan. I hope this was a better reply then the last and I hope you continue to read! I'm waiting on the edge of my seats...(depending on which seat I'm using) 1
adamo Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 I am really loving Damp sunshine. The plot is captivating and the characters extremely interesting. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Have you any idea when you will be posting next? There is one thing that I think could be improved. Descriptions of the characters! For me, it is easier to understand and immerse yourself in a story if you have a better physical representation of the characters. It helps the reader understand how they are taken by the other characters in the story. Anyways, the story is great, you are a talented writer. Keep up the good work. I hope you post the next chapter soon.
Parchment_Of_Love Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 I am really loving Damp sunshine. The plot is captivating and the characters extremely interesting. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Have you any idea when you will be posting next? There is one thing that I think could be improved. Descriptions of the characters! For me, it is easier to understand and immerse yourself in a story if you have a better physical representation of the characters. It helps the reader understand how they are taken by the other characters in the story. Anyways, the story is great, you are a talented writer. Keep up the good work. I hope you post the next chapter soon. Okay calm youself . I have my process. I will be posting again soon. It should be around the middle of the coming week or possibly that Friday. I have major exams his coming week though so the next chapter may be a bit late. I'm not sure at this point but I wont keep you wating for too long. As far as character description, I replied to your review on the last chapter. If you would like more explanation then just say the word and i shall do my best! Comment all you like! I love it!
Parchment_Of_Love Posted May 8, 2010 Author Posted May 8, 2010 Alright, Alright, I know I have not posed yet. Sorry, I have a little bit to go on this chapter. It will be up as soon as i finish it. I just don't want to post crap and right now its in he crap stage. If you are going to waith this long for the next chapter you want it to be good. I will post as soon as it's up! On another note it would be nice to hear some feedback. How am I doing? Do you like the characters? Got some questions???
KJames Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Alright, Alright, I know I have not posed yet. Sorry, I have a little bit to go on this chapter. It will be up as soon as i finish it. I just don't want to post crap and right now its in he crap stage. If you are going to waith this long for the next chapter you want it to be good. I will post as soon as it's up! On another note it would be nice to hear some feedback. How am I doing? Do you like the characters? Got some questions??? *HJ* I've learned to be patient where authors are concerned...writing something good doesn't take long, it's correcting the little mistakes that take forever. I *DO* like the story so far, and I'm glad to see that you at least opened the possibility for their damaged friendship to be repaired in the near future.
Parchment_Of_Love Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 *HJ* I've learned to be patient where authors are concerned...writing something good doesn't take long, it's correcting the little mistakes that take forever. I *DO* like the story so far, and I'm glad to see that you at least opened the possibility for their damaged friendship to be repaired in the near future. Ahh, well I know whats it is like to wait for another chapter and after you wait for a while you begin to wonder if the author intends to finish. I just thought I would let everyone know where the next chapter stood as of late. **The possibility of the friendship being repaired is there but it will take a bit. In this next chapter Donovan will recive a bit of a set back I guess you could say. His jealously and curosity get the best of him. The reader will also get insight to Donovan's confusion about where he and Jake stand. Smiles, Holly
Douw Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Hy Holly Grate work so far i'm loving the light and dark concept of the story Hope you post soon you got me hoked! And i'm loving Jake... But pleas sum more description of Jake wood give me a better picture for my dirty mind...
Parchment_Of_Love Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 Hy Holly Grate work so far i'm loving the light and dark concept of the story Hope you post soon you got me hoked! And i'm loving Jake... But pleas sum more description of Jake wood give me a better picture for my dirty mind... Anything for you hun. Who don't love Jake? haha. Don't worry it's just beginning to heat up.
adamo Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Question: Does Minx have a mate? Question 2: I have a sense of what the title is all about, but I am wondering if you are ever going to fully explain its meaning, if it has one? And Damp Sunshine is amazing. And you should post soon, and keep posting really soon after that. Question 3: Any idea when you will be posting soon?
Parchment_Of_Love Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Question: Does Minx have a mate? Question 2: I have a sense of what the title is all about, but I am wondering if you are ever going to fully explain its meaning, if it has one? And Damp Sunshine is amazing. And you should post soon, and keep posting really soon after that. Question 3: Any idea when you will be posting soon? Haha. I love you. Alright answer to #1: Minx is currently without mate, but he is a shape shifter so he doesn't mate like vamps and guardians but he like Donovan can be mated with, but currently he is single. That will be discussed more later in the story *Wink wink, elbow elbow*. I have pretty much taken all these different things like vampires and shapeshifters and stuff and spun them my way and i will do that with all. I have never written si-fi so its new to me, but like I said i'm writing it my way lol . #2: Yes it has a meaning and it shall be explained *later*. ~Thank you I do try. ~I shall try, but it has to be good before I dare to think about posting it. #3: I replied to your review. I shall work on it. Not sure....I have a few chapters written but I may change the direction and have to write them over again. so....a week maybe two depending on my free time away from my dumb job -.- . If i decide too keep the direction i'm going in with it.....A few days at the most. Just ask if you have more questions!
AnytaSunday Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Hello, I just finished reading chapter eight. I think your writing just keeps getting better and better. I absolutely LOVE the romance you've developed here and I think you're doing well with that. There was a lovely light humor threaded through this chapter which I thought kept things nicely balanced. Donovan is growing on me as a character as he himself grows in his acceptance. Keep up the great writing, I can't wait to read more, Anyta 1
Parchment_Of_Love Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thank you! I really figured this chapter needed some Humor for balance with it being the turning point for their relationship and Donovan. Poor boy just need a little push was all =) Anyhow, Chapter nine is where things start to get a bit rough. You'll get to know a bit more about the boys and a new character will be brought into play. Thank you cery much for your feedback! Smiles, Holly
adamo Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Haha. I love you. Alright answer to #1: Minx is currently without mate, but he is a shape shifter so he doesn't mate like vamps and guardians but he like Donovan can be mated with, but currently he is single. That will be discussed more later in the story *Wink wink, elbow elbow*. I have pretty much taken all these different things like vampires and shapeshifters and stuff and spun them my way and i will do that with all. I have never written si-fi so its new to me, but like I said i'm writing it my way lol . #2: Yes it has a meaning and it shall be explained *later*. ~Thank you I do try. ~I shall try, but it has to be good before I dare to think about posting it. #3: I replied to your review. I shall work on it. Not sure....I have a few chapters written but I may change the direction and have to write them over again. so....a week maybe two depending on my free time away from my dumb job -.- . If i decide too keep the direction i'm going in with it.....A few days at the most. Just ask if you have more questions! I keep wondering if Minx might have feelings for Jake...?... That would definitely be interesting... Haha. I love you. Alright answer to #1: Minx is currently without mate, but he is a shape shifter so he doesn't mate like vamps and guardians but he like Donovan can be mated with, but currently he is single. That will be discussed more later in the story *Wink wink, elbow elbow*. I have pretty much taken all these different things like vampires and shapeshifters and stuff and spun them my way and i will do that with all. I have never written si-fi so its new to me, but like I said i'm writing it my way lol . #2: Yes it has a meaning and it shall be explained *later*. ~Thank you I do try. ~I shall try, but it has to be good before I dare to think about posting it. #3: I replied to your review. I shall work on it. Not sure....I have a few chapters written but I may change the direction and have to write them over again. so....a week maybe two depending on my free time away from my dumb job -.- . If i decide too keep the direction i'm going in with it.....A few days at the most. Just ask if you have more questions! But not in a like Jake should leave Donovan (I mean if that were possible) for Minx way... Cause I love Donovan and Jake together... it would just spice things up a bit.
Parchment_Of_Love Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Hahaha, no that isn't possible. Minx will have his spotlight don't worry.
Parchment_Of_Love Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Title: Donovan Ch. 12 Reviewer: AMC Wonderful story. Switching POV sometimes takes me by surprise, but that's part of the charm. The unique universe you've created is great...no inconsistencies. Nice twist a chapter or so ago. Didn't see it coming! So many scenes tugged my emotions, in a good way, of course. I cried with relief when they rescued Timmy. Bravo!Author's Response: Thank you! You have no idea how much happiness this comment provides me! Make sure to keep up with the story on the system GA Stories. I'm *HJ* there. When the new system calms down I will be posting new chapters! Date: 12/23/2010 03:02 PM [Delete] Again not sure where to put the reviews. So I am sticking them here... Title: Donovan Ch. 12 Reviewer: Douw Hmm well the blood lust was unexpected but nice... lol Glade that he was saved in the end tho;~}Author's Response: Me too! Date: 12/09/2010 11:48 AM Title: Donovan Ch. 12 Reviewer: JimCarter This story is a first for me. I don't usually enjoy stories about non-humans, but this one I have enjoyed very much.Author's Response: That is wonderful to hear! I hope you continue to read! Smiles, *HJ* Date: 12/06/2010 02:54 PM Title: Donovan Ch. 12 Reviewer: adamo OOohhh.... This is interesting. A new character. Exciting. Can't wait to see how Timmy adapts to his new situation. :)Jake and Donovan are dazzling as ever. Wonderful writing.Author's Response: Thank you! Your comments always makes me feel warm and fuzy inside! lol Date: 12/04/2010 03:16 PM Title: Donovan Ch. 12 Reviewer: Clovis Great, I love it when the evil bastard gets his just desserts. Shouldn't Timmy's father, or whoever he was, also get a bit of retribution? Carry on writing.Author's Response: Ah, Timmy's father. You will learn about him and his fate later. Thanks for the review! Date: 12/03/2010 12:32 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Nope. Definitely haven't lost interest. Just been really busy with school and haven't had too much time to read. Can't wait for the next chapter! :)Author's Response: That wonderful to hear! Date: 11/24/2010 12:37 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Post soon? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.Author's Response: Long time no talk Dear Adamo. I thought you had lost interest. I will post by the end of this week or the next. You see I wrecked my car and therefore i had to pick up another job to pay for it. My time has been scarce as of late, but i promise it will be soon. Date: 11/22/2010 12:48 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Vicky hi there, loved reading this. Considering the fact that I "dont" ever read vampire-fantasies, I have no interest in such stuff, I wud say you have narrated it really well to not put me off. I loved the opening scene, the one where you had that talk with Donovan. The later half is well narrated, just not my genre as a reader.. I loved Minx in his initial incarnation. Especially the fact that you shared that unpsoken bond of communication with him. The fact that he isnt really a cat, kind of dilutes my liking for him. I am curious to read the next chapters, and hope there are more scenes of the kind I like to read. :-) Well penned, awesome really...Author's Response: I'm glad you are liking it. I doubt you will like the future chapters, but I hope you give them a try Date: 10/26/2010 01:18 PM Title: Jake Ch. 11 Reviewer: Clovis Very good. I love the sentiment, the love that is simple despite the apparent complications. Worth waiting for.Author's Response: Thanks, Dear! Date: 10/25/2010 04:09 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Its been so long:(Author's Response: sorry sorta stuck. I hope to have it worked out soon. hang in there! Date: 10/14/2010 12:45 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Soon?Author's Response: not sure....i'm working on it. Date: 09/25/2010 03:52 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Any idea when you'll get chapter 11 up? :)Author's Response: Next week. Maybe sooner. Date: 09/15/2010 09:05 PM Title: Donovan Ch.10 Reviewer: Nephylim It was very sweet. I think that it was needed and it was delivered. You don't have to give a blow by blow account to make it both believable and sexy. I like the way you tackled it very much. This was a wonderful chapter after all the action that's been going on. I like the chapters that are from Donovan's perspective. I'm not entirely sure that I buy the parents being there but hey it's your story and I'm happy to go with it. Looking foward to the next one.Author's Response: Thanks Nephy, I'm glad yo liked it. The parents things will have more light shed on it in future chapters but right now you are just going to have to go with it. Love ya! Date: 09/08/2010 02:04 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo I also found the sex scene very sweet. Sometimes less is more. :)And I really like Donovan.Author's Response: That is good to hear. Thank you! Date: 09/07/2010 04:38 AM Title: Donovan Ch.10 Reviewer: Douw HB it was grate i loved the playfulness at the end! The sex scenes were good not all stories should have sex scenes but it fit into the story perfectly some stories are better with sex scenes and others are not th only thing this scene did was add to the chapter making it all the better GRATE WORK!!Author's Response: Thank you! Love ya PB! Date: 09/07/2010 02:15 AM Title: Donovan Ch.10 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday In my opinion the two having sex seemed necessary to the story, considering the effect it now has on Donovan. :)It will be interesting to see how they interact with each other from now on. If Donovan will be the same person or not... hmmmm Date: 09/07/2010 01:42 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.10 Reviewer: Clovis Getting more and more exciting... and just the right amount of sex, thanks. I always prefer gentleness and loving kisses and touching to detailed descriptions of... Your guys always make me feel gooey and nice. Thanks.Author's Response: yay! that makes me happy. Date: 09/06/2010 04:17 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo So Minx is bad? I am confused about that. I love being able to read from both Donovan's and Jakes point of view. They are both very different but absolutely wonderful together. Date: 09/06/2010 12:21 PM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Do you think you will be posting soon?Author's Response: Yes, I have the next chapter written. I may post it this morning while I am thinking about it. Date: 09/06/2010 02:26 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo God it is just getting better and better. Jake and Donovan are so sweet together. Can't wait to see what happens next. Planning on posting anytime soon?Author's Response: No, it could be a week or more. I'm just so overwhelmed with school and work I can't think stright. I got the next few chapters they just are not flowing like i want them too. That must be fixed. Date: 08/28/2010 04:23 AM Title: Jake Ch. 9 Reviewer: Douw I think it's grate! I loved the balcony seen!Author's Response: Thanks hun! That makes me feel great! Date: 08/22/2010 05:39 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Pipo I really like this story. It is an great mix between normal human relations and fantasy stuff. Thank you for posting it :)Author's Response: Glad I could Oblige. Date: 08/21/2010 07:44 AM Title: Jake Ch. 9 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday That was a really sweet moment there between Jake and Donovan. Dang for the interruption, huh? hehe. Nice stuff.Author's Response: Thanks, Hun! Date: 08/20/2010 12:12 PM Title: Jake Ch. 9 Reviewer: Clovis Beaut!A great tale... I guess sealed is consummated? I hope it happens soon... time for Donovan to realise what he's missing. Date: 08/19/2010 09:48 PM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch. 9 Reviewer: Avid this story is turning out great its sad minx is on the bad side but it just goes to show you what you think is good can be bad and the worst can be the best for you.Author's Response: You hit the nail right on the head, Avid. Date: 08/19/2010 06:09 PM Title: Jake Ch. 9 Reviewer: Nephylim Wow that was a twist. It's a beautiful story. I love the way that the relationship between Jake and Donovan is growing and the characters we are meeting along the way are intricate, like peals woven into the tappestry of the story. i am still loving it.Author's Response: That makes me happy. Thank Nephy! Date: 08/19/2010 04:33 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Its been quite awhile since your last post...:(Author's Response: Sorry, i have just had a full plate with my school starting and my work. I have the next two chapters written but there are somethings i'm not sure I want to keep and I can't post chapter 9 until i'm sure. I don't want to have to go back and change it. So I will post when I get stuff sorted out. I actually played hooky to day to do so. I need a day to myself Date: 08/16/2010 07:30 PM Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: Douw Grate job HB i loved the chapter!Author's Response: Thanks PB! Date: 08/07/2010 09:57 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Any idea when you will be posting next? its been ahwile.Author's Response: Soon my Dear Adamo, soon. Date: 08/06/2010 07:16 PM Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: firebird2890 Really enjoying this story!! I appreciate your work in writing it. Can't wait till the next chapter!!! ThanksAuthor's Response: Thank you, Dear! Date: 07/25/2010 02:07 AM Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: Clovis Brilliant.... but why poor alexander? such a waste of beauty. I'm still waiting for that kiss. XXX CAuthor's Response: Ah! You decided to continue reading! That makes me very happy. Yes Alexander was wonderful but it had to be done. Kisses, Holly =) Date: 07/23/2010 02:13 AM Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Nice stuff, I'll leave a note on your forum.Author's Response: Thanks Dear! Date: 07/22/2010 01:16 PM Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: Nephylim Ugh. Sweet and sour... perfect combination. I love this storyAuthor's Response: Thanks for all your comments Nephy. They always boost my sprits! Love you, Dear! Date: 07/22/2010 09:42 AM Title: Jake Ch.7 Reviewer: Nephylim Oh shit! I'm scared now Date: 07/22/2010 09:36 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.6 Reviewer: Nephylim Sob. That was so beautiful Sniff Date: 07/22/2010 09:34 AM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.5 Reviewer: Nephylim Into the clouds with a nose in your neck... Sigh Date: 07/22/2010 09:28 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.8 Reviewer: adamo I really love how different Donovan and Jake are. How they see things and their senses of humor... You can really see that in your writing.Author's Response: Thank you! That is what I have been going for with the two. Date: 07/22/2010 09:09 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Yay. Thanks for posting so soon. Great chapter. Donovan's and Jake's first kiss was so sweet.Author's Response: Hehe, i did try. The next chapter weill come LATER prolly not as later as a week but not as quick as these. These have been a treat. I can go posting a chapter willy nilly everyday. I'll let these soak for a bit and see the kind of resposes they bring. Well, i am off to work. I have a day off tomorrow so maybe I will have a chace to write. Date: 07/22/2010 09:06 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo You didn't post today :(Author's Response: sorry, I was reading the chapter and I decided to change a couple things. So I am tweaking it a bit and I will have it up as soon as i'm done. Date: 07/21/2010 11:24 PM Title: Jake Ch.7 Reviewer: Nesossin Palace in the skies! *drool* i too think this can only get more interesting.lovely storyAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! Date: 07/20/2010 10:50 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Nesossin I love this story,the cat really does it for me (love cats) was hooked after the first chapter,excellent characters. Date: 07/20/2010 10:45 PM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.7 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I liked these last two chapters. I thought getting more background info on the two added a nice touch. I hope you post soon, AnytaAuthor's Response: Thank you! I do plan on posting soon. Date: 07/20/2010 04:39 PM Title: Jake Ch.7 Reviewer: adamo Or sooner. cause I'm so excited to see what state of mind donovans gonna be in after his realization in his last chapter... And the mysterious ending of the last chapter... It will be interesting to see how donovan responds if they hurt jake anymore..Author's Response: =) Date: 07/20/2010 11:28 AM Title: Jake Ch.7 Reviewer: adamo yay! You posted. I'm really happy you decided to continue in this direction. The background was so beautiful. I can't wait for things to heat up. And please, please, please do post the next chapter tomorrow! Date: 07/20/2010 11:22 AM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.5 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I love the idea that the soul mates feel each other's pain. That's good stuff. I enjoyed the moment with Donovan and Jake as he healed him too. Date: 07/20/2010 04:15 AM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo Response to response: Personally I really like where you're going with the story.Author's Response: Thank you, Darling. Date: 07/15/2010 04:54 PM Title: Donovan Ch.6 Reviewer: Clovis A delightful fantasy, but hey! gay is a modern invention. All men are able and willing to do it with other men... always have been ever since hunting parties went out for weeks on end, and sailors stayed at sea. This not being gay stuff is simply a fable and spoils the show for me. humans are sexual beings -- that's all. only exclusive through brainwashing, and Donovan hasn't been brainwashed, so he'd better get over his phobia soon or I won't continue reading. :)Author's Response: haha, gald to hear your view as always, but now that is all up to Donovan . I do hope you continue reading. Date: 07/12/2010 08:46 PM Title: Donovan Ch.6 Reviewer: adamo each chapter is getting better and better, I love where you are going with the story. and the writing is really great. Any idea when you will be posting next.Author's Response: Hmm. well I am ahead a few chapters, but I havn't decided if I want to keep it the way I have it written or change it so....not sure. If I had to give you a possible time I would say...A week maybe two if i change directions, but if I keep it the way I have it a few days at most. I'm currently working on Always again so that and my job are taking up some Damp Sunshine time. Date: 07/11/2010 07:45 AM Title: Donovan Ch.4 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I think you've done a good job with Donovan's thoughts in this chapter. I like his confusion and I think his character is softening, making him more likeable. Good stuff. Date: 07/10/2010 04:16 AM [Respond] Title: Jake Ch.3 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Okay. I suspect (and hope) there will be a romantic element to the story. I love the triangle that's being set up here, and I'm keen to know where you are heading with it. Good stuff, AnytaAuthor's Response: Dear, this is a romance if it is anything so don't worry. Date: 07/08/2010 08:23 AM Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I get a different feeling for Donovan's voice which shows that you are doing the character's justice. I read somewhere you may have a couple of chapters that are from Jake and not alternating. I just want to say that that's fine. In fact It's a good idea to vary chapters like that--keeps things fresh and interesting. Good stuff, AnytaAuthor's Response: Yeah, I am just going with the flow. I have yet to hit a point where i don't see it fit not to alternate but I am sure I will hit a wall sometime and will have to double up. Thanks for all your input it really is wonderful. Hugz, Holly Date: 07/08/2010 07:54 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I enjoyed this chapter very much. I thought the first half was brilliant in terms of pacing and action, and felt that the characters came off credibily. The second half was fun too, although I feel it was perhaps a touch rushed. My suggestion would be to make it more of a struggle for Jake to will his wings out. That just seemed too easy somehow. Plus, it could be made humorous, his attempts to will them out. Maybe what that second bit needs just to oompf it up a bit more, is some internal thoughts. Jake seems to be taking it all a bit too well. What is Jake thinking being told this? Does he reckon he's hallucinating? Or that it's some weird dream? Or just thinking something random like: shit, he was talking to his cat! HAving some more of his thoughts in that last bit would make this so super duper awesome (it is already awesome, just trying to give tips to super-size that awesome, if you like ) Good stuff, I'd read on, AnytaAuthor's Response: Dear. i love reviews like these. It lets me into the mind of the reader and it helps my writing! You just give all the tips you like. However, Jake's character is very...how should I put it? Calm. Thats it. He has always known he was a bit odd and now things are just seeming to fall in to place. Sort of like pieces missing from a puzzle. They may not be good pieces but he understands that they fit. Date: 07/08/2010 07:45 AM Title: Donovan Ch.6 Reviewer: Fastreader Okay, so Ch. 7 is going to have a moment of enlightenment between them, isn't it?Author's Response: hehe. You have yet to hear Jakes take on all of this =) Date: 07/08/2010 04:45 AM Title: Jake Ch.5 Reviewer: Clovis This is wonderful... can't wait so see what happens next. Date: 06/01/2010 01:06 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.4 Reviewer: Nephylim Heck. That was poweful. I feel so sorry for both of them. But this isn't the end for them I am sure of it. I wonder what Donovan will become. They are closer than they seem. I would imagine they are already connected in some way :)Author's Response: You are always so perceptive Nemphy! ;P Date: 05/15/2010 07:08 AM Title: Jake Ch.3 Reviewer: Clovis Ah-ha... I wonder how long it will be before he gets his teeth into Donovan. Usually I avoid vampire tales... but this is fun... Why such huge gaps between phrases? It doesn't matter, I was just wondering.Author's Response: Well, this is my first time switching back and forth between points of view. You will just have to bare with me until I get used to it ;p. Date: 04/26/2010 09:27 PM Title: Jake Ch.3 Reviewer: adamo I am liking your story more and more. The characters are interesting, and the plot captivating. When will you post next? Sooner than before? Oh, and what do Jake, Donovan and Minx look like? Could you maybe add in a better description. I have an idea of what Donovans parents look like more than Donovan or Jake or Minx.Author's Response: Well, The reason I didn't describe them as much is because I wanted the reader to sort of have their own ideas of how they look. I give the basics and let you fill in the rest. I know when I read a story I am sometimes turned off by the characters' description and it almost ruins it for me. So I like to leave some lead way in the way you guys picture them . However that isn't always the case. Sometimes I just have to describe them in full exactly how I see them. I may end up descrining Jake, Donovan, and Minx more a bit later but it really just depends on how it plays out in my head. If you want to talk more about this or anything else visit the forum I am always happy to hear you guys think! Good or bad it just makes me all giddy that you care enough to write something! Thanks adamo and I hope to hear more from you. http://www.gayauthor...damp-sunshine/. Dont forget that I am under *HJ* in the forums everyone! Date: 04/26/2010 03:29 AM Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: Clovis I love it... however, take the time to check - Jake didnt want to be a skin, not a shirt. Well written and well paced, my only complaint is the two descriptions of the parents... overdone and saccarine. "She was dressed in her black Versace mini dress that highlighted her hourglass figure, and strappy sliver heels. Her blonde loose curls had been straightened and her make-up was perfect,..." over the top.. versace? really. and the father... Dad sat in his Armani suit [surely he sat in a chair?]... He stood when he saw my flustered mother walk into the room... He ran his hand over his short chocolate brown hair. Armani suit... we know they're rich, there's no need for purple prose. But that's my sole quibble... it's going great! However, I do think it's a bit dangerous to be drinking bloood in the playground in full view of everyone.Author's Response: I Am likeing your reviews Clovis. As you can see I'm not perfect . Just keep in mind that i have no one to edit or proof read this for me. As for the wording it changes between Donovan and Jake. When I write in 1st person I write like they would, and that is not always correct. Most people don't agree and think everything should be set in this neat litte box. I don't do that. I like to keep this personal in 1st person. As for the descriptions of the parents...well yes i suppose it was redundant, but I had a reason. I wanted the reader to picture them for the way they are. vague answer, but really I think it shall be alright. I hope to hear more from you! Thank you! By the way, thanks for catching the shirt skin thing Date: 04/21/2010 01:50 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Clovis Excellent that the story moves at a cracking pace! I get so tired of writers who take three chapters simply to let us know someone is gay. There are a few clunky phrases, for instance at the beginning you write: "just Donovan and I. It was always nice when it was just him and I." Normal usage is jon and me, but the repetition of the construction irritates. You could write: 'Just Donovan and me; that's how I preferred it.' or any oyher construction. But I'm nit-picking... It's a fun tale, plenty of imagination and I look forward to the rest. Date: 04/21/2010 01:22 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: bookjunky18 I'm liking this story so far, and I'm psyched to read more. This story is the kind I like reading because it has supernatural elements and is well written. i hope you'll post another chapter soon. Btw, both Jake and Donovan are super hot.Author's Response: Thank you very much. I will try and get the next chapter ASAP. Date: 04/18/2010 02:35 PM Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: Nephylim Oh gosh... Jake is so awesome. He is so sexy now he's all dark and brooding. How sexy is he? Donovan is the loser I think. I reckon Jake should stick with Minx :)Author's Response: Hehe, Minx has many fans. Date: 04/15/2010 10:07 AM Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: Wyndham Brilliant. I'm glad you decided to try something new. Looking forward to seeing how things develop. May I suggest you try Whitesmoke for Grammar and spell checking. The software isn't perfect but it really helps, especially when you don't have an editor around. Date: 04/15/2010 02:58 AM [Respond] Title: Donovan Ch.2 Reviewer: Wyndham Brilliant. I'm glad you decided to try something new. Looking forward to seeing how things develop. May I suggest you try Whitesmoke for Grammar and spell checking. The software isn't perfect but it really helps, especially when you don't have an editor around.Author's Response: Thank you. Yes I will try it. I just use MS word so that doesn't catch much. =) Date: 04/15/2010 02:58 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo I really like the story. Jake seems like a really interesing character. And I like your take on vampires. When will you post next? Please soon...Author's Response: I will try and get the next chapter up asap, but it will be next week more then likely. This Sunday at best. Thanks so much for your support! Date: 04/15/2010 01:36 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: adamo I like the story so far. When you post the next chaper? Author's Response: Hmm..not sure. It will be a little while. I still haven't found a beta reader for this one yet. Date: 04/11/2010 03:21 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Elezbed well I think that Jake accepts everything a little too well... Or perhaps it is the impact of the situation?Write moreAuthor's Response: Impact would be correct Dear. Stay tuned for Jakes next chapter which will be ch. 3, Donovan's chapter is next! thanks for the review! Date: 04/10/2010 01:48 AM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: taina1959 Well dear, keep on writing because you're doing one hell of a great job! This is starting with lots of intrigue and have to wonder what's awaiting Jake once school start. Hopefully Donovan is not going to be an ass with him. I'm loving Minx already!!!! Keep it up... Keep on writing! ~Rush~Author's Response: Thanks Rush, that means alot. Hugz, Holly Date: 04/08/2010 11:19 PM Title: Jake Ch.1 Reviewer: Nephylim Yay I love it. How dare you say that vampires are the most evil of all creatures. Shame on you Vampirephobe Did you know that markings of this kind were common on images of angels... mainly fallen ones? I am just loving this story... how it has gone from perfectly normal to the furthest from it in one chapter. What the heck is going to happen in the next one. BTW liking Minx in his new form ;)Author's Response: Haha, thank you. I'm just kinda making it up as I go along . Just pulling stuff out of my head. Btw I love Vampires! I just thought I would make the majority of them evil in this story =). Minx is my favorite. you'll understand why later. Date: 04/08/2010 09:55 AM
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