Dear Neighbor (who lives above me in a 1922 vintage duplex with wood floors and no insulation between your floor and my ceiling):

I'm not sure how many children you have by different mothers, but it appears there's a number of them! Seems like there's a new mom/child set every week. Good deal, it's always important to get that gene pool spread far and wide. At 22 years old.

The boy is quite a charmer, he really likes to bang on things, I think he's going to be an engineer. The little girl is really shy, until her mom leaves and the screaming starts. She may end up a singer, with those lungs.

HOWEVER, I'd really appreciate it if they (the kids) didn't play tag all day, running from the back of the apartment to the front, and back again, all day.

I know its cold outside and our backyard, such as it is, is full of a pontoon boat that neither of us own, so they're stuck inside with nothing to do (dad doesn't pay his cable bill very often, I hear), but could you please have them take off their shoes? Thanks.

#joiningyouinarant