Despite having dulled thought processes probably due to the increased dosage of risperidone, life seems to be getting along. I have noticed it's harder to write. The motivation just doesn't seem to be the same as it was. I've started Chapter 4 of the new Hercules III book, but it's going slow. Chapter 3 was relatively easy, so I can only say that it must be the dulling effects I'm getting from the combination of the increased risperidone acting on the divalproex (mood stabilizer). An increase in risperidone will increase the amount of divalproex in the blood, which will dull the senses. I used to take 3,000 mg of divalproex and 1 mg of risperidone, but I couldn't write very well, so I convinced my old shrink to lessen the dosage of the divalproex to 2,000 mg. That decrease significantly improved my creative abilities.

So, what do I do with this? Do I go for mood stability and decreased creative ability or back to mood instability and increased creative ability? I don't know right now. In a way I kind of like having this new to structure in my life. Other than an update on Facebook and this blog entry, I haven't written anything today. Just listening to music and diddling on the computer. I did get in my required 30 minutes of practice on the guitar, which is the one very important thing for me to do everyday. I'm just starting out so it's important to establish good practice habits early on. I think I'll be able to use that need to practice to help reinforce this structured life I'm experiencing.

Though, it would be nice to have a resolution, but I'll have to wait to see the shrink in March before any changes can be made. Maybe she'll come up with something that I can take that will give me stability without dulling thought processes, making me tired all the time, and just generally f___ing me up, except for the guitar practice, that is.