Chaz and Green,

 

grrr..I just lost what I was trying to write...first of all, Green tell Selene she has nothing to fear..have her read Chaz's blog entry. Green was trying to get protect Chaz and Chaz was trying to keep Green away from the situation and like a bad Keystones cop scene, Green got hit....Chaz didn't do it on purpose and never would. I think Chaz would rather die first then ever hit or hurt Green.

 

Yes, you are so right that Chaz's twin needs a lot of psychological help. But as we all know, he has got to want to get the help or else its for naught....I am sure he realizes he needs help....and its not shaming to ask and get the help. I pray and hope he does.

 

I know David and his brother are cool and will be fine...they have seen worse I am sure. we all have.

 

Taking Chaz away for a few days would be good...but before doing that make sure that you are both ok emotionally, which may mean that Chaz needs to see a therapist to sort out some stuff in his head and Green you too and of course communicate with each other....please do that....next time, Selene locking you away from Chaz, is probably not such a good idea..as you can tell from Chaz's entry he thought you were angry at him (and maybe next time he may think you are packing your bags and leaving..and you have a history of doing that) Maybe next time (and sorry to yell at you Green...and Selene too) let Chaz take care of Green and bring him to the ER and to be there for his lover and partner.

 

Mother Selene sometimes needs to let go of her baby cubs...its will be ok..

 

Fortunately, this will work out ok..but it still appears to me (in my humble opinion) that there is again a sad comedy of bad errors in no communication in which there is no communication and actions could be misconstrued. Fortuntely, when Selene locked Green away in a room, and Green was ill, Chaz didn't think Green was leaving..but he did think Green was angry at him.....seems to me that you two need to communicate with each other..if Green is hurt, its Chaz's place as your partner to tend to you and rally the troops and the same thing for Green to do if Chaz is hurt....

 

I pray and hope that you both get away, get your heads together and clear your minds and put into motion rules of communication since it seems that there will be a lot to deal with in the coming days and months. Remember you love each other and its important to communicate that love for each other and if you are upset to communicate that, including if you are physically and emotionally hurt, angry, in pain, sick, etc...that's what partners do for each other.

 

Ok, nuf of me ranting..but I love Selene and she meant well but next time I hope someone has a clear head to stay calm and get the help and let each other know you still love each other and its going to be ok (and Green being hit in the head and having seven stitches and locked in a room away from his boyfriend, who hit him on accident, one would think Green was pissed and angry and going to leave Chaz)

 

Now, maybe Selene didn't know that what happened was an accident...did someone, anyone tell her that? Maybe she was in mother mode too because she thought that Chaz intended to hit (rather then seek to protect Green from the argument between Chaz and his twin) So, I am not trying to blame anyone but in that melee I sure hope that in the future people talk and not fight..and if there is a melee someone speaks fast and takes action to get things calm.

 

That is very hard to do with a melee but I sure hope that you all work it out....Chaz and Green take your time to give each other the love and support you need (and you will need lots of it in the coming days) and just know that Chaz's twin will need support...it will be ugly lots and pain can be tough when expressed....

 

Just remember love is the answer and communication and forgive me for being all over the map on this entry since I have tons going on in my head trying to sort it all out..I just pray and hope you are all ok:)

 

Hugs and Love sent to all of you:)

 

Michael

Chaz & Green:

 

 

I sent you guys a PM the other day that probably makes a lot more sense now.

 

I think the two of you getting away together is a fantastic idea (which I think that I may have suggested at some point in the past )

 

Fly Away

(by Lenny Kravitz)

 

I wish that I could fly

Into the sky

Just like a dragonfly

 

I'd fly above the trees

Over the seas in all degrees

To anywhere I please

 

Oh I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

 

Oh I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

 

Let's go and see the stars

The milky way or even Mars

Where it could just be ours

 

Let's fade into the sun

Let your spirit fly

Where we are one

Just for a little fun

Oh oh oh yeah !

 

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

 

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

 

I got to get away

Feel I got to get away

Oh oh oh yeah

 

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah with you yeah yeah

Oh Yeah !

 

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah with you yeah yeah

I got to get away

 

I want to get away

I want to get away

I want to get away

I want to get away

 

Yeah

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah with you yeah yeah

I got to get away

 

I want to get away

I want to get away

I want to get away

I want to get away

 

Yeah

 

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah with you

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Hi Green and Chaz,

 

Wow - you guys could never be accused of having a boring life!

 

OK, it looks to me as though you've got two main issues here - Chaz's punch not being one of them. It was clearly an accident and one that's been forgiven. The issues you have here are Chaz's brother and Selene.

 

First Selene. I'm sorry guys, but if she was one of my friends I would have told her she was overstepping her bounds my now. Green, she slaps you for upsetting Chaz a few weeks ago, now she locks your door to what? Protect you from him? She disapproves of David getting in contact with his family again and seems to have an opinion on everything. It's good that she cares so much, but it seems that in caring she sometimes creates more problems. It's just my opinion, for what it's worth, but I think you need to talk to her about this. Her job, as a friend, is to support both of you, not take sides and run your lives for you.

 

That's said now and it's up to you guys how you handle it, but if it was one of my friends I'd sit her down and talk to her about this for the sake of your friendship with her and your relationship with each other.

 

Now, on to Chaz's brother. The guy clearly has problems and being a bit of a jerk is just one small part of them. He has what happened to him, or what nearly happened to him, as a child to deal with and the conflict he feels regarding his sexuality. Sorry to say this guys, but I actually sympathise with him. OK, so he's acting like a complete asshole, but he's got a lot to deal with and he just doesn't know how. Accepting his sexuality seems like a major problem for him and while you guys seem to have done so more easily than him, don't lose sight of the fact that for others it can be a lot harder.

 

When you combine it with abuse you have to recognise that, at least in his eyes, if he accepts that he's gay he believes that he will be saying he wanted to be abused. It's f**ked up, but sadly understandable. In addition to this, he doesn't want to be different. What gay man can honestly hold their hand up and say there has never been a time in their life when they didn't wish they were straight? Point him out to me and I'll show you a liar.

 

Chaz, the other day you said you felt like you were drowning because of everything that was happening and everything you were feeling - I guess that means you can relate to your brother then. How he's handling this is wrong, but it's the only way he knows how. That's not to say you have to put up with it - you don't. You can't force him to get help or to accept himself, all you can do is be there for him when he's ready to help himself. Don't abandon him just because he's made a few mistakes and behaved badly - everyone screws up every now and then. Just wait for him to get help, support him while he's working through his problems and have faith that when he comes through it he'll be the sort of guy you'd be proud to call a brother.

 

I think the two of you getting away is a good idea - it will give you some space from all these problems - but if you are going to go then don't take any of this crap with you. Leave it until you get back and then look at it with fresh eyes.

 

Oh and Green - rest that head of yours and let's hope that if it leaves a scar it's a sexy one.

 

Rob

Hey Chaz and Green,

 

I couldn't agree more with what RHawkes and James said...fly away, get away, make it a honeymoon of sorts and make beautiful love together..enjoy each other..you need it.

 

As to Chaz's twin, I believe RHawkes got it right....Chaz your twin is in major league pain..I feel that he has been cold all these years as his own self defense mechanism...it kept people away since I am betting he feels shame, pain, anger, hurt and self loathing.....It will take maybe a life time of therapy but I know deep down inside he loves you....he just has a lot of pain.....I pray and hope he can find his way..I am betting he does. I am also sure that he looks at you and Green and sees the love you have for each other and I still stand by he wants that soo desperately and needs love desperately except I am betting he feels trapped in his own body, mind and soul and is torturing himself and feels tortured. I know that you will give him the support and love you have....that's just you and its also Green.

 

I do also believe Selene loves all of you but I feel its now Chaz's place as Green's partner to stand in and take care of Green....its time for Mama Selene to let her son go....she will also be Mama Selene but Green is now Chaz's partner, who would no more harm him then cut off his own limbs first before he ever let harm come to his Green.

 

I also am glad that we told Green to communicate (even via online blog entries) but now with something like this the big step is to tell Chaz face to face....it would have stopped a lot of pain..of course the fact that poor Green was stunned and in pain...someone should have told Chaz for him...and then I still say instead of locking Green away in a room...grab Chaz and Green..let them calm down together so they can communicate face to face..it would help keep things calm and they would know they love each other and of course shed the tears, hug each other and then get poor Green to get stitches...

 

ah..hindsight is 20/20....

 

well, love you all and I hope you both get away and take your time to be together away from the mess and to enjoy that special partner/romantic time together:)

 

Michael

Yes it is time for both of you to get away and regroup. I had to do that last year and it did me a world of good.

 

Now I find I am approching a new get away point in my life, only once again I am forced to do that alone. I wonder why I keep doing that.

 

Now quickly make your excape.

 

The Bard