This book belongs to Cole:

2003

Once I graduated from high school I made the move from a small town to the city of Portland, Oregon. I have to admit at first I was scared and very nervous. It was hard to leave the life I had known for eighteen years. Only soon things would start to fall into place and I was more than excited. I had a feeling that my life was now starting to make some sort of sense. The first few days I kept my guard up. You have to when making a huge life change. After the first week I already met the person that would forever be my best friend. Cynthia, she and I were the same age, in fact we were only a day apart. Cynthia had been born and raised in Portland. The moment we met we were instant friends. We found that we had so much in common. It was honestly as if I had found my other half, the one person that would truly understand me.
Cynthia was the most caring and understanding person I would ever meet. She had this special personality that always would brighten a room, regardless of the mood. It was nice to have met a person that never held any judgment. She was probably the most laid back opened minded person I knew. I had to admit, it was she that really helped me to grow into the person I was now, along with helping to really except myself for me. Everyone that knew Cynthia loved her, they all said she was the kind of person you always wanted around. She was someone that you could always trust. We had a friendship that was stronger than blood.
Luckily for me I had made another friend pretty quickly that was my family, Gina. Gina was also Cynthia’s cousin. She too was carefree and lived for the now, as we did, and like me she too had a very strong bitchy side. The three of us lived together and spent hours hanging at the house drinking, smoking, and dancing. With us only being twenty and Gina turning nineteen there wasn’t much for us to do on the weekends, honestly when the three of us were together any moment would be a time to remember.
Cynthia and I, as we would say, had taken over Portland. Living life to the fullest. There was never a boring moment when we were involved. Between the three of us we always made sure that everything was exciting, from the random house parties, too the many bars or clubs we would venture out too. Having friends like this we knew that nothing or any one would ever be able to come between us, these were the kind of friends you really needed in your life.
Throughout the years Cynthia, Gina, and I would find ourselves in numerous different types of situations. We did have a good circle of friends. With the different people we would meet I began to discover who I was and the power I could hold over men, straight men, guys on the down low, aka on the DL.
“You have the curse.” My brother once told me.
“The curse?” I asked more confused than anything.
“We all have it,” my cousin added “it's something we three are born with. Straight men want us, they have to have us, and they will use us.”
“So remember,” my brother said “never allow them in and just enjoy them for the moment.” 
“Yes,” my cousin said smiling “that is one thing that we all need to remember, that men are just for fun,” he was in the kitchen mixing a few more drinks for us “we need to keep the same mind set as these men do. Not give them any type of affection just play their game.”
“But why does it have to be a game?” I thought. We are brought up to believe that we will find true love, the one, your soul mate. I was still in my early twenties so I had plenty of time to worry about that. For some reason these questions were always running through my head though.
“Well,” my brother got up to grab our drinks “a lot of men can’t really accept who they are so they will hide behind a woman and see us on the side,” he lit his cigarette, “plus with us coming from a small town they will never come out.”
“And it doesn’t help that we allow them to do this.” My cousin warned me. “And some people would want what we have and see it as a gift.”
At this point of my life I would see it as a gift as well, I mean what gay man didn’t want to have sex with a “straight” man. It was so forbidden and you knew the whole time you shouldn’t be doing it, yet you did anyways. Knowing that they wanted you and that they needed you, plus it was something they only got every now and then turned the passion so much more exciting.
In the beginning there were a lot of different parties we had gone to. One we had to leave Portland and travel to Corvallis. At this point in our lives the three of us were single so we were more than ready to party. Since it was a pretty far distance we decided it would be better to party on the drive there. 
We arrived to a large house in the middle of nowhere. At least fifteen minutes from a town. The place was already packed with people. Some of Cynthia’s high school friends were hanging in a large room that had a pool table so we joined them for a while to chug back a few drinks.
The night went on and the drinking never stopped. One of Cynthia’s old friends a girl named Jean and I were playing pool when some guy came in. He just stood there watching us play. He was pretty good looking with dark hair and you could tell under his clothes he had a decent body.
He asked if he could play along with offering us more beer. Of course we took the beer. Jean decided after two beers it was getting late and she was ready to leave. It was pretty late, it was nearly three in the morning, but he and I started our game anyways. Most of my friends had gone, Gina had gone back to Portland with the other girls. Cynthia had wanted to hang out more, so we stayed. The guy I had just met played pool with me for a while talking about life then it hit us, we were starving and needed to find some food. Thankfully he had a car so we were off to find whatever was open at this time.
The drive was much further than I remembered on the way here. I thought it was only a few minutes from town yet it seemed to take us forever to find the city of Corvallis. Soon the conversation switched over to me being gay and how he is more than comfortable with having gay friends. In fact he went on to say that he would probably let a dude suck him off if the mood was right.
“What about now?” I asked trying to sound a little flirty and also curious “want me to blow you?”
“While I’m driving?”
“Hell yeah,” I moved a little closer “think of the excitement.” I didn’t even wait for him to respond I started to undo pants and pulled his dick out, he maybe hit six inches and was on the thin side, but I didn’t mind. I took him into my mouth, which was very easy to do. He instantly began to moan. Thankfully he was still doing a good job driving. I made sure to suck him good making him so wet, showing him how much greater it felt to have another man do it. Like most men would say head was better from another dude than a woman. It didn’t take much longer till he finished, it was probably only a five minute blow job. He grabbed an empty cup and shot his load in it. I sat there smiling at myself.
We finally made it to a fast food place that was open twenty four hours, we grabbed food and headed back to the party. I ate everything on the ride back I guess I was that hungry. When back I found people had all passed out. I found some my friends sleeping on a couch, so I went over and curled up next to them. The guy disappeared somewhere in the house I really didn’t care I was drunk, tired, and needed sleep. It was starting to get light out. It felt as if I had only shut my eyes for a second when my phone rang startling me awake, it was Cynthia, it was eight am and we needed to get back to Portland. We both ran around gathering our things getting ready for our long ride home.
After a couple of months the Corvallis parties came to an end. The other times we had traveled down there, each party was crazier than the first. I did see the guy I messed with every time there he just never said another word to me. Honestly it didn’t bother me. It was just funny that he had to act weird. I never understood why men made it that way, so what I sucked your dick it wasn’t anything serious. To me it was just two guys having fun and he wanted it too! I wouldn’t go talk to him nor would I even try to do anything else. I just played his game and avoided him. After maybe a month we never saw any of those Corvallis people again…..