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Toymaker chapter 01


TheZot

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[i'm feeling the need for some good melodramatic monologuing and denoument (it's all Dio's fault!). Ben and William are always good for that, so while I'm sitting on Busted, and polishing up the last draft of Dirty Basement (the second complete Ben and William story) I give you... Toymaker! Or, rather, the first draft dump of it. That seemed to work pretty well with Busted. My son likes these, so this one's going to be PG, at worst]

 

William reined in his horse as he crested the hill. The mid-morning sun was warm on his naked shoulders, turning his tanned skin a rich gold. A light breeze fanned his long white hair out behind him, near-blinding in the light. The dark leather straps that crossed his bare chest, his only garment beside the short kidskin wrap around his waist, soaked in the heat and gave contrast to the cool air. At his side was a rapier, its hilt and scabbard a matte black with silver tracery. He was tall, lithe, and regal, looking every inch the barbarian prince astride his coal-black mare.

 

Beside him, on a horse as white as William's hair, sat Ben. He was dressed to match, though his skirting was fine green silk. His dark hair was tightly braided and nearly touched the back of his horse, and across his broad shoulders twined black lines and spiral tattoos that were impossible to look closely at. Around his neck were charms on leather thongs. At his wrists were wide bracelets of tooled leather set with small blood red garnets, wrapped around each bicep were strips of braided bronze. His sword was heavy, its menacing aura clear even sheathed.

 

William sighed as he looked at the town below him. Five miles or so at the end of the road that wound lazily down the hillside and through the farmsteads in the valley, along a narrow river. The farms continued for miles on the other side, stopping abruptly at the foot of the mountain range that marked the other side of the valley. It was quiet and pastoral. Innocent even. Hardly what he'd expected.

 

"This the place?" Ben asked. The question was rhetorical. He'd been there with William when they'd driven the bandits off and rescued the family, he'd heard the story as well as William had. It had started with strange noises in the night, then livestock had vanished, until finally their youngest son had been stolen in the night. By the Faerie, or so they'd said. They'd abandoned their farm and fled rather than risk their remaining two daughters.

 

"Looks like it," William replied. He frowned. The family had been frightened, there was no doubt about it, so terrified that they'd left their farm. People just didn't do that, didn't just leave, not unless they were wizards or had the wanderlust. The ties to a realm were too strong, binding people to the land they were born to. It took something catastrophic to change that. That there was no outward sign of anything was worrisome. "It looks peaceful enough."

 

"Yes," Ben said. "Except for the castle and storms."

 

"What?" William looked over at him, puzzled. It was a beautiful day, and there were a scant few wispy clouds in the sky. "Where?"

 

"Follow the road."

 

He did, down the hill, into the town, and out the other side. It went through farms to the foothills, and up the side of a mountain until

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Not much to comment on, seeing as it is just the beginning. I would never have foreseen the end of "Busted" from the beginning, nor "Yankee" (though I came closer that time), so I'll learn my lesson and hold back judgment for now.

 

The title gives me an idea for a DnD module I could write for a local gaming group, so already I have benefited from reading this.

 

By the way, do you have a single file for "Busted"? I've been trying to re-read it all, but it is a bit confusing with chapters spread out over days, and a couple early bits out of order, and my not remembering that they're out of order until after the fact. If you could make available a single file with all of it there, it would help me considerably in my effort to make meaningful comments.

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Not much to comment on, seeing as it is just the beginning. I would never have foreseen the end of "Busted" from the beginning, nor "Yankee" (though I came closer that time), so I'll learn my lesson and hold back judgment for now.

 

The title gives me an idea for a DnD module I could write for a local gaming group, so already I have benefited from reading this.

I live to serve. :) DnD is something I have to watch out for with these guys. The first draft usually reads like a game transcript. I'm working on changing that this time 'round.

 

By the way, do you have a single file for "Busted"? I've been trying to re-read it all, but it is a bit confusing with chapters spread out over days, and a couple early bits out of order, and my not remembering that they're out of order until after the fact. If you could make available a single file with all of it there, it would help me considerably in my effort to make meaningful comments.

I do, in both HTML and PDF format. PM me with which format you'd prefer and I'll send it on.

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I love the stories of yours that I've read (your Ex marks the spot and Soulmate are fantastic shorts, and I loved Yankee)... :worship:

 

But... I haven't read any of the Ben and William stuff cause I wanted to start with Wild Life. :blink:

 

So - um, what is the recommended order? Should I wait for Wild Life, or if not, which should be read first?

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I love the stories of yours that I've read (your Ex marks the spot and Soulmate are fantastic shorts, and I loved Yankee)... :worship:

 

But... I haven't read any of the Ben and William stuff cause I wanted to start with Wild Life. :blink:

 

So - um, what is the recommended order? Should I wait for Wild Life, or if not, which should be read first?

I've been noodling around with Wild Life, but the thing that's holding it back, more than anything else, is the fact that the thing is very much not PG -- the whole thing revolves around sex and frustrated desire. Which, while awfully fun in its own way, isn't something I'm gonna be handing off to the kid to read, so things he can see tend to get priority.

 

Read Firegrass, which is set in B&W's barbarian wanderer period. Dirty Basement (which got a bit troublesome during editing today) is after they get back and settle down. Toymaker is set in teh barbarian wanderer period as well, though a bit later on. Most of the shorts are probably going to be set then, since it's ripe for 8-12K word things. The more complex stuff seems to fit after they've settled down.

 

But I ramble. Firegrass, then Toymaker. Should work out.

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