It's been a while since my last entry, and it's because I've been feeling sorry for myself over things that happened here at home and not up to posting anything. Until yesterday.

Let me start from the beginning.

I got my license on May 21st and was soooo excited about driving my car to work. Unfortuanately, my dad needed my car because he had to drop his off at the dealership, so I took him to Charles Barker (the dealership) and then drove to work. he dropped me off and all I could think about was he next day when I'd be driving myself to school. Then, two hours later, when my dad was supposed to be picking me up at work, no one came. So I waited and called his cell phone, but I was getting his voice mail.

About ten minutes after I started to fume, my stepmom shows up in her car and she looks really upset. I ask her what's wrong, and she tells me that my dad had been in a wreck with my car and that he's at the hospital. So now I'm upset too, and we go to Bayside. He's fine but in an ultra grouchy mood because someone rear ended him.

I guess I just needed to hear and see for myself that he was fine, then I went into a bitchy rant about him wrecking my car and said some other crap about his speeding and the way he cuts people off and how I felt like he didn't shift soon enough when he was driving my car. Basically I was pissed that my Civic was wrecked, but I had no idea just how wrecked it was until I saw it.

It's basically totalled. When I looked at it, I panicked again. I don't know how ANYONE survived that wreck. Not my dad. Not the lady with a baby in the car that hit him. The only thing I could do at that point was give him a hug and tell him sorry for being a selfish asshole to him. Then I went inside and said a prayer giving thanks to The Lord for sparing my dad's life.

So I tought I was okay, but I really slipped into a deep depression that I didn't want to admit I was in. I prayed a lot about it, and I stewed over my car some more and thought about the lady who rear ended my dad. I was mad at her, but not just for wrecking my car. I was mad at her because she could have killed my dad, her baby or maybe even herself. I don't need to lose another parent and her baby certainly shouldn't grow up without a mom. So I spent the last few days telling myself what a dumbass she was and thinking to myself that she should have been paying closer attention because she's not just taking her own life into her hands when she drives....she's taking other lives into her hands too.

Then yesterday my dad comes home from work and tells me that one of the drivers rolled a truck over on the interstate. No one knows for sure what happened, but a baby was involved and a lot of people were hurt badly. In fact, so badly that some might not make it. It's affecting him badly because the driver is someone he knows personally because he used to be her boss. When we prayed before supper last night, he asked God to watch over everyone in that crash, and his voice broke up a little and I knew he was trying not to cry.

That's when I knew that I had no business being upset about my car. They make new ones at the factory every day. If one of the people in the wreck from yesterday dies, there's no getting them back. So, instead of being depressed about my car, I'll keep my head up and be thankful that it wasn't worse. Worse as in, loss of life or serious injury. I'll also keep praying for the families of the people hurt yesterday. It just goes to show that just when you think you're having the worst day, somewhere in this world, someone is a lot worse off than you are.