I really screwed up a couple days ago. My dispatcher is giving me a shitty load to make up for it. Being late is a big no-no and I could've said, "Uh, I shouldn't have taken this load because I don't have the time to complete it." I could've of said, "You know, I'm going to be late tomorrow because I shouldn't have taken this load because I don't have the time to complete it on time."

But, no, I did not do that.

I waited until I could make my dispatcher very, very pissed at me.

Okay it was in the low 100s yesterday, they had a level one smog advisory, the wind was blowing, and I kept making mistakes. If you're going to make one, you might as well make a couple and get them out of the way.

So they gave me a revised delivery appointment that was next to impossible to make. I had to make a choice: get fuel I needed or deliver on time. I chose the latter. Then I get to my 99 (our stops are number, initial pickup is 1 last delivery is 99) and there are all these trailers there that belong to my company. 99 asks, "Is this a live unload or a drop." My dispatch order says nothing about this load being drop, so I say, "Live unload." To which they respond, "Well, it'll be awhile because we don't have a lot of room in our freezer and we're short a couple forklift operators."

I sent a message to my dispatcher asking if this load was a drop, but I had to go into a door before he responded, which he never did. Then he send me this load which I'm supposed to pickup in four hours, which would've been okay if I had simply dropped my trailer.

I waited and waited and waited. The pickup customer called me to find out when I'd be there. I had to be at his location no later than 10:00 a.m. I was going to be lucky to be out of 99 at 10:00. Plus, I had to get the trailer washed out.

I spent the night in the San Felipe Pueblo Travel Center off I-25. My delivery appointment in Denver is 22:00. I've slept a lot, worked on The Artists, and basically chilled out. There's a casino across the street, but I'm not interested.

I'll be leaving soon. It'll take about 8 hours to Denver. I'll stop at our yard for fuel and to rest a bit before going down to this 99 and making my delivery. Then it's finding The Blue Beacon to get my trailer washed out (this is a dirty load). And, then I suppose it'll be another load. Normally, I'd expect a Coors load, but I've been naughty and can't expect a good load, not that delivering beer is good. I've delivered a lot of beer and quite frankly there are better loads.

(Uh, I don't want to get anyone in particular upset or anything, but I've been noticing a change in my mental status. I don't know if it is a result of the meds or something else, but I don't seem to care about a lot of things anymore. It's not quite that though. Close. If I had a few hours and the energy to think about it, I might, but I'll just have to keep going and see what this leads to.)