I just got done watching a movie called "Boy Culture" ... I enjoyed it even i don't care for all the hustling... still a few good points were made here and there. I ended up reflecting a bit on myself as I watched it and came across a scene where they're talking about the stages of being gay.

In stage 1, you've just come out to yourself and you have this romantic idea of not being a slut and meeting another guy who is also not a slut and living happily ever after with him. My stage 1 lasted a little over a year or so and since then I've been transitioning to...

Stage 2: Playtime. If a guy looks cute, can at least talk somewhat smoothly then its playtime. I'm dating around a bit, trying to meet new guys, so far i've had one MAJOR bust but we'll get to that later. The point is i'm on the gay market and while im no hustler for cash I do like good company and I'm a very affectionate guy in return for that. Eventually I'll be on my way to...

Stage 3: When enough wild oats have been sewn and its time to look into getting really serious and settle down. However....

I sincerely doubt I'll meet that guy for some time and in the meantime its time to make the most of stage 2. So far I've had one MAJOR bust... July 3 I have a guy over... I'd seen him before and been disappointed then because he had already 'finished' before i so much as had my pants down... to be fair i was giving him some....attention at the time, but still he finished and that was it... he put his clothes back on and left me to finish myself. I was disappointe and tired but willing to give him another shot because I thought he was probably just embarrassed at ... finishing so soon. Well he came over july 3rd we worked out a little showered, and made our way back to the bed and it was shortly after that I discovered despite ample opportunity to take care of such things while in the shower and had not bothered to clean himself properly downstairs. And he wanted me to rim him. Gross. I wouldn't do it and just kept pushing his ass out of my face every time he stuck it there. We get around to the part where im supposed to be in him and I was still a bit turned off but I wasn't going to just send him home because he'd probably just get lost again and i didn't want that on my conscience. So after stretching him appropriately I put on the condom and start doing my thing.... and he ... finishes, without bothering to warn me at all that he was even close so I was quite a ways off. There's ways to salvage that though, you know? I toss the condom clean myself off and maybe it was wrong of me? - I expected he would be the one to get me to orgasm that night. No-go. I ended up finishing myself off and I do not kid you at all when I say I would rather have used the condom in conjunction with a plastic grocery bag and my pillow instead for a more pleasurable, clean, and cuddlable evening. I did the gentlemanly thing though and at least cooked breakfast for him the next morning before closing the door on this dirty guy, who I will not be responding to ever again. Moral of this story: Look, I've bottomed before, I had the courtesy to make sure I was clean first inside and out and I made damn sure I was clean as could be if I was going to be rimmed. If whoever im with can't show me enough respect to make sure he's clean, i don't want to be with him.

I do have better news though. On Tuesday I was talking with this 26 y/o Asian guy online... we ended up going out to see transformers 2 - loved the movie, btw. At first I wasn't sure if he was really into me at all... I brushed my leg up against his a little during the movie ... you know all that subtle unsubtlety that comes along with the earliest stages in finding out if a guy is into you... I wasn't getting much off him at that point though so I started thinking, 'well if nothing else, I've made a friend' ... he paid for my ticket too, which wasn't necessary but still very nice of him. After the movie I was a bit hungry so I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere to get something to eat, we ended up driving around all over the southern half of pinellas county looking for a place that was open late and settled in on an applebee's. He had a couple beers, I had a mudslide (damn are those ever delicious!) and he loosened up a bit as we got to know each other a bit better there. We went back to my place and kissed and cuddled for a while before I was treated to the BEST oral of my life. We actually ended up going back to his place since he has a bigger bed and after getting good and comfourtable, welll to keep this from getting too pornographic lets just say we got to it that night and the next morning and he was walking funny for the next couple days. I'm not really seeing hearts and roses there but a friend and cuddle/f**kbud? Definitely. The great thing is... he's a 26 year old professor of business at a major University, he's lived a bit, very intelligent and though he's not verry happy with his job he's got a job that pays pretty well which is more than i can say for myself. He's not an idiot, not desperately trying to force himself to fall in love, not a smoker (sorry those of you who do but thats a turn-off)... and he's CLEAN!

And then there's last night... was talking to a guy a little bit... he just got laid off from his job, I wanted someone to give me a ride to the grocery store so my refrigerator wouldn't be so barren and he was willing to do that. We didn't actually get to the grocery shopping part and I wasn't feeling much chemistry there though so we watched a movie I gave him a hug and he went home. Maybe we'll hang out again at some point.

My future line-up... wow it seems like there's a lot more guys in the area now! I could definitely see myself going out with the 26 y/o professor again. Lots of cute guys out there though, so we'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to exploring for a while but you never know... I might stumble onto the guy out there somewhere and when that happens I know I'll embrace that. In the meantime... why be alone and without companionship when there are so many opportunities out there to meet people?