Ive been quiet lately, out of fear of sounding like a wet rag or something

lol in truth nothing really has been happening that has been noteworthy. Ive been meeting guys for coffee and what not. Nothing comes of it, most fail the initial inspection and find themselves categorized securely in the friends/acquaintance column.

Speaking of, I got a text Friday night semi inviting me to a Halloween party because the guy didn't have anyone else to go with and would not know anyone else there. I would have been up for the jaunt, however I was already using one of my planned two trips to Anaheim for the weekend. He had the nerve to text back asking if I was just sitting at home would I have gone or would I have had "Something better to do". Meh I dunno how to feel about this. It reads far too much drama coming from a guy Ive had coffee with once and gone to the movies with once.

Of course, as my luck would have it... the most intriguing guy I have been chatting with is some 2,000 miles away. I can't begin to explain how f**ked/frustrating that is. I guess it is really a moot point as we haven't been chatting that much recently.

I'm fighting the urge to link it to the short phone conversation we had. Just screwed timing and well. things happening. Still sucks, but what can I do but reach out for a while until he stops reaching back.

I told a friend I was giving up on ever having any sort of relationship. they labeled me a pessimist. Perhaps this is the true. Perhaps I maintain my track record speaks louder than some form of blind optimism that in the end will only lead to me being disappointed and pissed off.

Translation: If it happens great! If not, well I wasn't pinning everything on it anyhow so no loss.

I call it realisim, but if you still think that approach is "half empty" so be it. Its not my job to cultivate your philosophy, nor amend mine to fit the mold of yours.

Transalation: if you do not like my answers stop asking questions. (this could go for a lot of people... yeah it sucks that I am in a position to answer questions and you are not... You are not helping, so just shut up and stay away. We will be far happier this way.)

Halloween was a bust... Timing issues and all that. Sunday was better. Met up with Viv and her troupe + Jeff & Thorben for a day at the Disneyland resort. Rides were fun even if viv rode with closed eyes to avoid screaming. She did however offer me a bite if her wiener. I politely declined opting instead for the long cinnamony goodness. Other then some sore legs and feet by the end of the day Sunday was a good day.

I think that's it for now.

more later

Steve