[WrathOfMagneto] Cold and Broken

[PatrickOBrien]

I just uploaded a poem to eFiction, but I don't know if it can really be called a poem. I've never really written poetry before, and this one doesn't follow any form whatsoever. But when it was done, I liked the way it sounded. Let me know what you think!

Cold and Broken

Edited August 31, 2007 by wrathofmagneto

[Bondwriter]

You could post it in the poetry section.

 

[Menzoberranzen]

Mmmm, I liked the poem until the last line. It was very incongruous to the rest of the poem. I love the narrative verse and the phrasing of the lines. Again, it was just the anger -which wasn't really present in the rest of the poem - and the over exaggerated emphasis on 'dare' in the last line that didn't seem to fit with the more reflective sadness of the rest of the poem.

 

Nice job, though!

 

Menzo

[Conner]

For your first foray into poetry, that was good.

 

The concluding line would have worked better, for me at least, had it been his ex who got his heart broken in the new relationship.

 

I'm not the biggest fan of narrative style poems....but they're growing on me. For me, poetry pays more attention to rhythm, imagery, emotion and even sounds of words to convey meaning and life experience.

 

Do some more!

 

Conner