Any advice?

[Patrickgay17]

Ok there was this guy over at my house last night and he was a young guy. I'm 18 he is about to turn 16. I knew once we got in my car and he started saying things like come on no one will know.

 

As you have probably allready guessed he is a virgin and wanted me to be his first. He said that he was tired of being a virgin and just wanted to get rid of the title. I must have tried to tell him no at least 50 times (and I'm not exadurationg) I would say things like you're too young and you would regret it and it would make stuff weird between us. But he wanted it and I eventually gave in.

 

Dose anybody remember there first time? Do you remember how bad it was? And how everything went wrong? Well it was his first time (not mine) Multiply that times ten. It went bad he did regret it I think. I tried to tell that he didn't want me to be his first but he was determined.

 

He has a guy he is kind of seeing and I told him that he wouldn't feel right if he did this. He said it was ok and he wouldn't tell the guy and still I gave in. Now it's all weird and he left me his number when he got out of the car.

 

What do I do? Any advice? Should I even call him? Or should I just forget about it and stay away?

 

I'm really having a hard time dealing with this so if anybody has anything to say please speak up.

[Lor83b]

I have a couple of questions:

 

1. What's your relationship with this guy? And how long have you known him?

2. What type of relationship do you want with him?

3. Why did he gift you with his virginity and not the guy he's with?

 

 

As far as the age difference goes, it doesn't really matter especially if it's two years.

He must have gave you his number for a reason: think about how you would feel if the guy you gave your virginity to ignored you after the event.

The kid probably wants some reassurance that what happen wasn't wrong and that your current relationship, whatever that may be, isn't going to change.

 

I hope this helps you, and good luck.

Edited March 6, 2005 by Lor83b

[Patrickgay17]

Ok he is totally out with his mom and I don't even know if there is a dad around. His mom even goes out and buys him homo erotic stuff which is cool but weird at the same time.

 

I met him that day I think that's why I'm having so much trouble with it.

 

I live in Utah and legal thing is I'm 18 he's not so if it comes out then I go back to jail.

 

I would want a relationship with him but I don't think that I want one like that. He is fifteen.

 

This guy who he has been talking to is a pasifist and he has told him that he dosen't like sex so dose that mean that this guy was just looking for some action. That is what my mind is telling me.

[DomLuka]

Well Patrick,

All I can say is, what 15 year old isn

[Patrickgay17]

I am going out tonight with some of our mutual friends and I was thinking about inviting him what do you guys think?

[Lor83b]

I say go for it as long as you don't engage in any kind of PDA(public displays of affection) because he is underage, however slight the age difference.

And maybe you two can discuss what happened, how you both feel, and where you two want to go from there?

 

 

Good Luck!

Edited March 7, 2005 by Lor83b

[reapersharvest]

In terms of age difference, I'll be hinest. I wouldn't be a big deal if he were 16. Even though the age of consent in Utah is 18, it's 16 in so many other states, so morally, who's to say who's right. But 15 (technically), is a bit young for him to already be "tired" of being a virgin. And if he's seeing a guy, why you? I see much drama and awkwardness in the future.

[Patrickgay17]

My mom didn't get home with the car until late so we didn't end up going out. It is planned for tonight.

 

I would have to agree about the first times remark it's never what you expected because chances are you had all these wrong ideas about big sweaty men.... no just me?

 

In Utah I don't know if it is because it is Mormon capital of the world or not but 18 is the age. I could go to court if he was sixteen and I was seventeen.

[Lor83b]

This is to clear everything up concerning the Age of consent laws in Utah:

 

 

76-5-401.2. Unlawful sexual conduct with a 16 or 17 year old.

(1) For purposes of this section "minor" means a person who is 16 years of age or older, but younger than 18 years of age, at the time the sexual conduct described in this section occurred.

(2) A person commits unlawful sexual conduct with a minor if, under circumstances not amounting to rape, in violation of Section 76-5-402, object rape, in violation of Section 76-5-402.2, forcible sodomy, in violation of Section 76-5-403, or aggravated sexual assault, in violation of Section 76-5-405, the actor who is ten or more years older than the minor at the time of the sexual conduct:

(a) has sexual intercourse with the minor;

( engages in any sexual act with the minor involving the genitals of one person and the mouth or anus of another person, regardless of the sex of either participant; or

(c ) causes the penetration, however slight, of the genital or anal opening of the minor by any foreign object, substance, instrument, or device, including a part of the human body, with the intent to cause substantial emotional or bodily pain to any person or with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person, regardless of the sex of any participant.

(3) A violation of Subsection (2) is a third degree felony.

 

Enacted by Chapter 183, 1998 General Session

 

This means that in Utah, once you have reached the age of 16, it is only illegal for someone 10 years or older than you to engage in sexual activity with you.

BUT YOU SHOULD STILL BE CAREFUL!!!!

 

I hope this helps you.

Edited March 7, 2005 by Lor83b

[Bill W]

Patrick, my first impression is that this boy is interested in you and only used the excuse of not wanting to be a virgin to entice you. Second, even though the sex might not have been wonderful, I don't think we ever forget that first person we had sex with. For most, it is the person and idea that far outweighs the physical aspects of the act. I know, my first time was disasterous, both in giving and receiving, yet I have so many fond memories of both times and the people who shared those special moments with me.

 

As far as taking him along with you, I'd say that should be fine, as long as you explain to him that for right now it is just as friends. Develop that side of the relationship first, and if you get to be great friends, you might also later become great lovers.

 

I hope that helps you some.

[Patrickgay17]

The following topic may not be safe for younger viewers. Caution.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Receiving wasn't a problem it was the giving that was he was very wrong and I didn't feel safe because of my past history with the law. (long story short I was seventeen the guy was sixteen and better than tell his parents he was gay he went along with this other girl and said that I touched him) I am still in contact with hom on a regular basis.

 

Anyway back to the age thing he was young and a virgin so giving was a problem and it all went down hill from there.

 

He did leave me his cell number and I am going to call him or have one of your mutual friends do it.

He he he.

 

Thanks guys you have certanly eased my mind.