A Shot of Clarity by PlugInMatty

[PlugInMatty]

Hi all,

 

Here lies the discussion thread for my new story, A Shot of Clarity.

 

Prologue can be found here.

 

More to follow soon.

 

Cheers,

Matt.

[David McLeod]

Hi all,

 

Here lies the discussion thread for my new story, A Shot of Clarity.

 

More to follow soon.

 

Cheers,

Matt.

 

First, "here lies" sounds too much like an obit; and this is too important a story to die. Second, there d... well better be more to follow! A very powerful prologue. Dynamic, forceful, pithy.

[PlugInMatty]

Part One now online.

 

I'm hoping to keep a pretty regular pace with this one (a new part every couple of weeks), so we'll see how it goes.

 

All comments welcome.

 

Matt.

[PlugInMatty]

I should also add the reviews from the old eFiction posting:

 

Title: Prologue Reviewer: Boy In Doubt

 

Wow, you've caught my attention. I think it's a really good start and I find it to be much darker than 'Things You Fear the Most'. Your use of short paragraphs gives a sense of urgency, which I believe is what you were going for, considering the subject matter.

 

I also like the repeated use of color. It makes it seem as though everything around the character is a blur and puts emphasis on their thoughts and emotions.

 

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. It's nice to have another mystery to sink my teeth into. The final line certainly leaves me wanting more.

 

-Boy in Doubt

 

 

Title: Prologue Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Oh, Matt. How can you do this to us? What an emotionally wrenching prologue! "...the color of second best..." How damn depressing! How wonderful a way to start the story. Don't ever die! I want to read the rest of this!

 

 

Title: Prologue Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Oh MY GOD. What a start!! I am so glad you said there'e more to follow soon or I might have swallowed my tongue

 

 

Title: Prologue Reviewer: taina1959

 

Ummm... Matty, when are we going to read the first blood curdling chapter? Hummm?? This is looking like a bloody, insane story!! LOVE IT already!