Friendly to flirtatious...

[Organic]

Is there a distinct line that everyone knows but me when it comes to being too friendly to the point of being perceived as flirtatious? As a straight acting gay guy, all too often, women seem to mistake my friendly demeanor for a come-on... making for awkward situations. Are there any options other than coming right out at the intro or developing a lisp?

[K.C.]

Be yourself. I’m very flirty with everyone (guys and girls). If fun and sexy and doesn’t need to lead anywhere. You don’t have to fall in bed with every warm body that flirts with you.

 

 

 

 

[AFriendlyFace]

Is there a distinct line that everyone knows but me when it comes to being too friendly to the point of being perceived as flirtatious? As a straight acting gay guy, all too often, women seem to mistake my friendly demeanor for a come-on... making for awkward situations. Are there any options other than coming right out at the intro or developing a lisp?

 

I kinda tend to rely on instinct when it comes to friendly versus flirtatious. It sorts all boils down to delivery anyway, IMO. You can say the same thing in either a playful, friendly, "harmless" sort of way, or you can say it in a provocative, flirtatious way.

 

There's usually a "point" where - if you're paying attention - you can interpret how someone is taking your behaviour. When you realize what idea they've got you can then either choose to reinforce it or gently set them straight. Does the person think you're hitting on them and that's not your intent? Then switch into harmless, completely unsexual and unplayful mode. Do they think you're just being friendly when you're really trying to make a move? Then up your comments and behaviour just a bit so that there isn't room for ambiguity. Enjoying the ambiguity? Then keep walking the line and sending alternate messages.

 

I'd say the main thing is to focus on them, not yourself. How did that person just take your last remark? Do you want to reinforce that perception or dissuade it?

[Tipdin]

Flirting is fun, I do it with men and women - straight and gay - younger and older.

 

Most people seem to understand when it's being done in fun. If someone doesn't understand, I simply inform them that I am not seriously flirting with them - that I'm just trying to butter them up so they will fix me up on a date with their brother.

 

I think the secret is to be good at reading people. And if you're just meeting someone, flirting may help set the tone of the situation - the person's reaction may determine how - or if - the flirting should continue.