ISO: Beta Reader/Editor/(Romance/Adventure)/Fiction/(Novel)/Long Term

[MrM]

Story Title: Snowflake

• No specific time limit. Work with me as I produce.
• Have not worked with an editor/beta reader before
• I would appreciate a Beta Reader to read my output and critique it for readabliity and continuity. Editor can help me with grammer and verb tense. I want to keep things in the present not the past tense.
• Editing can help me with spelling, grammer, punctuation, verb agreement. Beta can assist me with readability and contnuity issues as well as possible plot ideas to make things more interesting, perhaps.
• Currently, I'm finished with chapter 2. I have a general outline for what I want and a profile for both the main characters.
• I am working primarily with Daedalus on my IPad, but can make use of Word for change tracking.
• Inline edits for grammer, punctuation, verb agreements, etc. Comments for Beta Reader to help with story problems.
• ~~~~~~
  
  I sit on the sofa next to the fire lost in thought. I do not notice a slight weight change in the cushion to my right. I continue not noticing until I hear a familiar clearing of the throat and a hip connect with my hip with a bump.
   
  I look up and am immediately captured in a succulent kiss on the lips and then feel a tongue push its way into may mouth. Long nails rake through my hair and send tingles down my scalp and all the way down into my groin. It makes me moan into her kiss.
   
  Sabrina.
   
  Releasing me from her kiss she stares into my icy eyes with her beautiful bluer than blue ones. Her pale skin is set off by eye makeup that is more art than makeup and bright red lipstick. Her pale blonde hair is shoulder length and dressed in an almost 1940s fashion with lose waves meticulously combed and half pinned on the back with a vintage shell barrette. She wears the thin tight fitting ski suit apparel that serves as a uniform for all the lodge staff. Its stylized to accentuate her bosom and butt. It actually has no true thermal qualities.
   
  I am still in a daze when she finally speaks in a slightly deeper voice than what you would expect from a lady.
   
  "Penny for your thoughts, Handsome?" she intones like a bad film noir. I smile and then she smiles as I giggle at the statement.
   
  It is not with humor, though, that I refer to Sebastian as Sabrina. When she is thus arrayed she is every bit a woman...complete with breasts. A true transexual goddess. No one but me knows. They all figure their favorite concierge  is every bit a woman but she dates no one but me. She is an exclusive engagement and oddly the men acquiesce when they hear that her beau is Snowflake. Its like....they don't blame her! 
   

Edited February 2, 2015 by MrM

[scotty94]

Hey there I'll be  happy to assist with Beta Reading I've read the first few line of you story and I like the concept, send me a PM on here and I'll get back to ASAP with ways of communication.

[MrM]

​Thanks Scotty for volunteering to be my Beta Reader.

Now...for an Editor.

[Valkyrie]

I'd be happy to edit for you. I'll send you a PM and then you can decide if you'd like to work with me. 

[MrM]

Thank you Valkyrie!