In high school I was sent to the schools psychologist after visiting a counsler because of learning problem. One of the first thing he did was to ask if I had ever thougth about suicide and I answerd " Yes, I would jump from a tall building so I eider could finely feel free and fly or regret my choise. And I am afraid of hights so it wouldnt be easy. The thing that saved me was the thought of the pain I would put my famely in if I did it and that pain was worse than the pain of living one more day. So I understand the black hole. The thing about me is that I have had a pretty good life. A famely that loves me, and most of the time good friends. The only bad part was being frosen out by all the girls in my class (even my best friend from preschool) for 2 years but after a year I found friends outside the class and at the end most of the girls apologized for their behavor. So why the hell should I be depressed? Last year my brain finely was finished growing and things became easier to handle.
For me depression is a constant batle, always looking for the signs and keeping the guard up so it dosen't take over me again. If I don't get enough sleep, neutrition, prais, sun or hugs, I have to fight hard not to let the depression come back.
I have told my closest friends about my problems and they respect me and my problems. They don't understand but they suport me.
I have a light form for depression and only need som herbal thing my doctor recomended, sun and sleep to fight and I have a great life so I can't imagine how others have it.