DutchJoey
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Everything posted by DutchJoey
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Glad you are back with this story. Don't let us wait to long with this cliff hanger .
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That looks like a very sudden ending of this story! And also a very strange behaviour of the hero towards his friends. But I am sure you will solve all this for us. By the way: any news of Charlie?
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I only recently started to read this story and have read it now in about a week. A completely different surrounding from most other stories with the horses. I really iked it and will be waiting for the sequel.
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Ch 01: The Mages of Malden
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 01: The Mages of Malden
Welcome back, Hamen. It has been a long time after Charlie (how is he?). As expected a good start of this story, already looking forward to the next episodes. -
Hamen, you should know that I still look every week for a new story by your hand, be it about Charlie or Adamagika. From your other comments I get the idea that you are working on something but when are you ready to publish?????
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This chapter sounds very much like a very old English public school; I expect they stll use the cane ;-) Looking forward for the next chapter.
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I've read now all the chapters in a short time and find it fascinating how weird and normal Elijah can be or maybe seem to be. Looking forward for all the next chapters.
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A good start of this story and what a cliff hanger. Waiting for the next part.
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They kissed and it was a real kiss, just what I wanted for Derek and Charlie And Charlie was in the lead, marvelous. This is a perfect ending for this story Thank you Hamen for this story with all its sad and happy and humorous parts. Now it will be waiting for your next story, maybe Adamagika II?
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That really can not be, Derek dead. Luckily he is writing the story himself so next week we will see what happened after Derek closed his eyes and thought he was dead. This is the worst and the best cliff hanger you could think of, I suppose. Marvellous this part but nerve wrecking. For all your reader I think you must post the last part tomorrow if not within one hour.
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nice story, putting us on the wrong foot through the title and then not a sad ending.
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Just to say that this is a real nice story.
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Ch 32: Friend and Relation
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 32: Friend and Relation
A rather short and easy going chapter....... until the end with a totally unexpected development: an until now unknown uncle. What will he do? Will he kill Derek's father? Will he bring big C en Hero together? When will the mad psychiatrist help Derek? Hamen, we will at least need two more chapters for all the developments that are needed before you can close this story with the Big Bang (Charlie and Derek together, kissing at least). Thanks again for this chapter. -
It was a long time in coming, this chapter but again worth the wait. A very special chapter in describing all about the character of Derek's father (not daddy). And now it is waiting again who will be Derek's (boy)friend as it seems that there is a real bond between Charlie and Travis. And what threat will Derek's mom have over her what still seems to be her official husband. Hopefully we will only have to wait until next Tuesday, so Hamen do not visit any after new year parties on Monday Thanks again for this story
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WOW again, the title alone made me feel all kind of nasty beasts crawling on my skin. I wouldn't have thought that Charlie would be the one to try it but luckily our Hero was on time. I find this chapter a very special mix of humour and sadness: humour the way you describe how everyone reacts on everyone else and sad because of all that is happening. And now again a week to wait till the next chapter after, again, a cliff hanger; I thought you promised not to do it again ;-)
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Ch 29: The Forgotten Door (Part Two)
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 29: The Forgotten Door (Part Two)
Again WOW, a heavy part of this marvelous story. It would take a psychologist (or Charlie) to solve all Derek's problems about what happened in the past. And I trust that big C will solve it, together with Derek and both their moms. Next chapter will see Derek and Charlie re-united, I hope. -
Ch 28: The Forgotten Door (Part One)
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 28: The Forgotten Door (Part One)
WOW indeed, that's what I call heavy stuff. Something like this I did expect but the way you describe gives it a extra dark colour. Derek's dad is a most unpleasant fellow; I expect not to hear of him any more. And we will hear a lot more of big C, the real hero of the story. And now wait until next Tuesday for the rest of this part, you keep us hanging again. Thanks again for this story. -
Ch 27: My Bloody Valentine
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 27: My Bloody Valentine
I hope (and suppose) that this is the blackest point in the life of Derek. This chapter had me really on the edge of my chair while reading this story. The way you write is, is so real that I wanted to strike out to the evil Luke. I won't throw any rotten fruit in your direction as long as the next chapters are at least as good as the ones you have written thus far. In the worst case I must send you the hospital bill for finger transplants after I have bitten off not only my nails but also some fingers in anticipation of the next part. -
Charlie is back and they are talking. Ok, also fighting but that can happen. Who is sending bad letters to Travis? I can think only of one person who is also trying to manipulate Derek and setting him up to Charlie. Great chapter again.
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No real cliff hanger this week but still keeping me (us) in cahoots about where the blood was coming from on Derek's jacket. It looks like Charlie is really concerned about Derek, that is what a good friend is for. And they are, deep down for Derek, still good friends. And what happens with the threats of daddy Derek's PA about removing big C and mrs. C? Hamen, you have a lot to resolve and that in only 10 chapters = 10 weeks, that means that the story goes on into the next year!
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Ch 24: Illusions of Grandeur
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 24: Illusions of Grandeur
Hamen, you have a real mean streak in your character, doing as if you don't like them but the last couple of chapters are ending in some really nasty cliff hangers . And now we have learned more about Derek's father, looks like a nasty person; we will hear more about him, I think. And Derek shows some good character by defending his ever lasting love for Charlie. And again we all have to wait a week to see what the blood (?) means on Derek's jacket (if it is blood). -
Ch 23: My Date with a Doctor
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 23: My Date with a Doctor
I really do like the wieners, that is about the only sex we will see in this story The way the good doctor interacts with Derek is fabulous, let him just talk and bring himself in trouble. And the end is marvellous; why do we all have to wait again for a whole week to be able to read what you let Derek say about Charlie. Maybe I need also a date with Dr. Baker -
Ch 22: Strange Things About
DutchJoey commented on Hamen Cheese's story chapter in Ch 22: Strange Things About
Just a dream? Derek sleeping while his mother is driving him to their home????? But...... dad is mentioned and we see a piece of dad's character. And not once was Charlie mentioned, only Mrs. C. I think Derek's favourite jacket is at Charlie's but Derek wants not to know that. And agin witing a whole week with. terrible cliff hanger
