Mychyl

Time passed, and while I was severely pissed with still not being able to move, even though I (consciously, at least) knew why, at least something was going on around me. Something less boring than silence, at least. "You realize," Alliesa said, "even with everything we can tell him in a few hours, he'll never stand a chance against Arriata in time?" Yes, while I laid there -- still naked, under the blanket, I might add -- it seemed like the entire Citadel arrived to "help" me. Which, appa

We left a few minutes later, stepping out into the bright day. The happiness which Joey'd shown briefly in my apartment... our apartment, my mind corrected me... was gone, shuttered behind a thin veil of cool reserve. I let him lead the way as we walked to the apartment he'd shared with his stepfather until recently. He never mentioned his mother, though he'd mentioned brothers when we talked about his school, so I wasn't entirely sure what we'd find at his former home. It was late enough, he'd

Need You Now (Glee Cast, originally Lady Antebellum) No Air (Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown) Those two songs have been on auto-repeat in my brain for a few days now.

Honestly, I don't think I ever explored David's motivation for not staying around his brother. Guilt that he couldn't protect him, I think, is the most likely. The event was traumatizing to the characters in such a way that it stunted their relationships with each other, and thus they were driven apart by them -- I thought I'd captured that, but I guess it wasn't really sufficiently done.As for the recap ending, it just felt more natural that way. Keep in mind, from the beginning, I expected each of these characters to turn up again in later stories. So far, they've been mentioned, but I've never been able to come up with an organic story that encompasses any of them. I wanted an ending that left their strings out in the wind to some degree, so I could grab them and tie them back into a future story, but without just stopping in medias res and abandoning them there.That being said, looking at the main characters of each of my stories is like looking at a facet of me... they each have my mentality (to some degree), my thoughts, my vices, some of my interests, and generally act and react the way I would in a situation. Kyle was my innocence; Sean (Dear Diary) was my youthfulness and my youthful attitude towards love and romance; Damien (Frozen, LCoA, From Afar) was (and, in a way, is, since he's the one who keeps popping up) my more jaded and cynical side.

This is definitely a case of letting the characters run away from me. Most of my stories, I let the characters act how I feel they'd naturally act... and in this case, that was Jacob's reaction. Keep in mind, the mindset I was looking at was still being new to being a couple, not sure what's what, seeing someone that he just had to... yea. I know not every teenager is that free with his body as Jacob was here, but that's how I felt he'd act in this situation. (Kyle's reaction, of course, wasn't shocking, given.)As for the flow, it's plausible that more time should've elasped, or further events should've fleshed this out a bit. However, it felt right at the time, having it occur like this.

Actually, here's what I'm seeing when I'm re-reading the chapters. (I actually don't see many direct references to what day it is, so bear with me.) The story begins on a Thursday (extrapolating backwards), culminating with the events at McDonald's. Friday is when Kyle falls asleep in David's arms, realizes he's going to be late, has his reconciliation with Jacob, gets kicked out, and ends up sleeping with Jacob. Saturday morning is when he wakes up between the two of them, and when their parents come back from their business trip and give Kyle carte blanche to move in to Jacob's room; Saturday night they talk about the prom and going clubbing in SF. Sunday morning they go to the mall -- this part's somewhat obvious given the discussion about the mall not being open yet. From there, the timeline flows a bit more... obviously, I suppose.I think the biggest "timeline jump" problem here is that it's never directly mentioned that Kyle didn't in fact sleep over in David's arms, just passed out for a few hours.Perhaps this should be re-written to be a bit more obvious... as has been said before, we're each our own worst editor.

Three-way relationships are something I was fascinated with back when I wrote this story, so there was a possibility at that point that it might've ended up that way. Since, I've learned that they're more likely to end up heartache and disaster than happiness, but back then, with my more limited experience, I thought they were a fine idea.For all that, The Dance also includes some three-way relations (both sexual and romantic), but the original chapter-post version from Nifty actually had a disclaimer at the end that they don't always (or usually, for that) work out as depicted.

The "staying over" was supposed to be an accident, and ended up being the catalyst for Kyle's mother disowning him. So it has its purpose in the story, and again, reckless youth. He knew better, but he allowed himself to get into trouble...

This story has its roots in fact, and I've certainly seen many cases where classes which weren't grade-specific (pretty much only the English classes) has students from different grades all together. This might be less prominent nowadays, or in bigger cities, but Ukiah's the town I grew up in, so I can attest that, back then, it was true enough.

Yea, when I first wrote this story, the entire pivotal point was supposed to be boyA-likes-boyB, boyB-likes-girl, girl-likes-boyA. Initially, I hadn't even considered adding in David as a main character, but he definitely forced his way in on that one.

Back when this story was written, I tended to see a trailing-off of the POV's train of thought as the ideal place to use ... without thinking how it would read. I'm actually considering a rewrite, since I know how that I used those far too often in those dark ages of my writing.

On the surface, I generally like this story. It's edgy and raw with emotion, but instead of hope, it's tinged with fear, regret, and the impending doom of a loss the protagonist is certain is right around the corner. Reading a bit deeper, the story itself is a bit raw, and could possibly use a little tighening-up. Overall, though, definitely a good effort, and worth the read.

That night, I had a vivid dream. I was standing on a beautiful hill, one that seemed somehow familiar to me, even though I didn't ever remember seeing it before. It was spring in my dream, a verdant spring unlike anything I'd seen since moving to Tucson. Flowers were blooming all around me, several of which I'd only ever seen back home, and the grass was lush and full of life. Something seemed off about this... but my mind refused to work. In the grass, sitting in front of me, looking off int

I kept trying to focus on my games, or on studying, or anything else in my life... but no matter what I did, that unknown boy kept creeping into my head, stealing my attention, drawing me back to his presence. It was like how a person with strong cologne can walk through an area, and the scent would linger for a long time, sometimes hours... well, his presence was like that, an unshakable force that remained far after the actual encounter. Despite telling myself otherwise, nothing I could do

The rest of the night passed relatively uneventfully. Eventually, I settled down and completed my homework, though the first rays of light were filtering through my blinds as I finished printing the last paper. I stripped down and headed to bed, allowing myself to drift off into sleep... Several hours passed before I woke suddenly with a start, feeling a bit chilled. It seemed like there was some dream, just beyond my memory, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't call it back to the front of