Mancunian

Tom argued, Simon tried yelling ARGUE

magazine editor

Ipswich, England

authority

nemesis

North Curry, England

more choice

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gamble

This has to rank as one of the most thought provoking posts that I've read on GA over the past few months for that reason I've decided to post a reaction, which has become rare for me to post any comments on GA. As someone who has been on the receiving end of 'judgemental attitudes' whilst dealing with what has been the most traumatic and devastating period of my life over the last nine months I can say that I know what it's like to be judged and treated in a negative way by others who have no idea of what it's been like to experience the events that I have had to deal with during that time, no matter how 'low key' that 'judgemental' attitude and treatment has been. No that treatment has not caused what I have to deal with, but it hasn't helped and has made it more difficult to deal with. Being 'judgemental' towards someone isn't necessarily spoken, sometimes it's done by actions such as turning away from someone who thought of you as a friend and 'cutting them off' as though they no longer exist. Believe me when I say that that can hurt as much and sometimes more than anything that can be said in words. Maybe some of the things that I was brought up with apply here, 'judge not lest you be judged' and 'don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes'. I'm not asking for, or after, any sympathy from anyone, I'm not after apologies from the few on GA who have treated me in this fashion, they would mean nothing to me after the time that has since passed. I'm not going to go into detail but I have had to deal with two traumatic events and a serious health issue in a very short space of time and have now spent three periods of time, of different lengths, in a psychiatric hospital the help me deal with those events and attempt to move forward in life. I'm lucky I have had a few really good friends and family who have stuck by me to help and support me, but others do not have that. That brings me to my point for responding to this post. Whilst I have been lucky as I do have support and the means to overcome the judgemental attitude and actions of others, there are many that do not have what I have. For me it has made things hard to deal with, for those that do not have what I have it could make it an insurmountable obstacle and could cost them a great deal emotionally and mentally that will not be able to recover from, or even their life. Think before you speak and just as importantly, think before you act, sometimes actions say more and worse than words. Please choose your words and actions wisely.

doing it really tired Yuri WALKS

Neath, Wales

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