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Drew Payne

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  1. Drew Payne
    Thank you for your feedback, it means so much to me. I have looked after people who have survived violent acts and I based so much of Jon on them. His pain is raw because he hasn't moved beyond pain and anger, the guilt is slowly eating him alive. The inspiration for this story was an actual shooting, which I changed very little of for this story. I wanted to write about the affect it has on the people who survived. News reports always seem to be a brief horror story, how many died and who did it, before they move onto another story. I wondered how the people who survived this shooting coped, and that wondering lead to this story.
  2. Drew Payne
    Jon walked along the street with his head down against the driving rain. The rain had started three days ago and hadn't stopped since then; it seemed like this Christmas would be a wet one rather than a white one. He knew the route from Kay's office to the tube station without looking, he'd been walking it once a week for the last eight months, which was useful with this driving rain. Christmas Eve was two days away, his first Christmas without Eddie. He’d spent that afternoon session talkin
  3. Drew Payne
    Thank you for your feedback. The time the story is set, hopefully Eric stayed healthy for another handful of years and then combination therapy began available. I don't think he lived well, but hopefully he met another Aids Widow to share it with. I know so many people have forgotten the horrors of that time, and that's a good thing, but us who lived through it all should find ways of telling these stories. This past year or so I have been researching and writing stories based on different events from gay history. I want to find ways to tell the stories of what it was like to live through these times.
  4. Drew Payne
    Tuesday, 6th June, 1989 Charles Bell Ward, The Middlesex Hospital, London Eric sat in the armchair, the high-backed one that he could never get comfortable in. He had brought three magazines to read, but when he’d returned to Justin’s room it had felt almost disrespectful to sit there and read them, so he’d pushed them under his chair when he’d sat down. Justin was lying on his side, his eyes closed in sleep or whatever, with the white sheets pulled up to just under h
  5. Drew Payne
    And that's what worries me about them, they get the most financially vulnerable in our society quickly into debt. That's what I wanted to write about here, the ease you can get in real debt now.
  6. Drew Payne
    I agree but it can be so easy to do and so seductive. I would have done when I was Harry's age. Back then I finished so many months with no money and no chance to have a gay social life.
  7. Drew Payne
    Thank you John, I wrote it as both of them acting stupidly and selfishly. I don't like either of these characters, I have no sympathy for them. I actually take pride in your reaction, sometimes fiction can be too black and white
  8. Drew Payne
    “The most I can give you for it is two quid,” Harry told the hipster guy in front of him. “But this is a classic, the Director’s Cut of Blade Runner, the first one, not the fourteen that came after it. It’s worth ten times that,” the hipster guy replied, glaring at Harry. “It’s the shop’s policy. We only pay more for new DVDs. This is old, and I can only give you two quid for it,” Harry said. “It’s worth ten times that on eBay,” the hipster protested. “So, sell it on eBay,” Harry
  9. Drew Payne
    Thanks, that's what I wanted to create.
  10. Drew Payne
    February 2006 Noah pulled his scarf tight around his neck, the wind biting cold as it rushed into his face, and slowly walked up to the end of the cul-de-sac. There it stood, sandwiched between two rows of terraced houses, the Chapel. He stopped on the pavement in front of it and just stared at the building, trying to ignore the cold that was seeping through his clothes. Hanging off its wall was a battered For Sale sign. The Chapel was not just closed, but was falling into decay. T
  11. Drew Payne

    In Sam’s Room

    Drew Payne commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in In Sam’s Room

    Thank you. I wanted to write about the human story behind a suicide.
  12. Drew Payne
    Please judge him, I can't stand the little waste of skin. This was one of the earliest stories I wrote were I didn't like the central character, but part of me still feels I didn't punish him enough, and part of me just wants to wash my hands of him.
  13. Drew Payne
    Thank you. This was written as an answer to all those people who say, "Just listen to me, I know exactly what you need to do," and then tell you what they did, without listening to you. Guess what makes me angry.
  14. Drew Payne

    Appetite

    Drew Payne commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in Appetite

    Thank you. We have all this pressure put on us to have "the perfect gym body" and no one questions the harm this does.
  15. Drew Payne
    “The best advice I was ever given was by my mother, when I was a girl,” Julie said. “She told me that all I needed for a happy life was contained within the pages of the bible.” “That’s nice,” I mumbled in reply. I was trying to complete the latest Care/Needs Report for Jeremy Block and I didn’t want to be drawn into another one of Julie’s discussions. So I kept my eyes fixed on my computer screen and didn’t look back at her. “If you follow the instructions in the bible then God will r
  16. Drew Payne
    Simon stood, pushing himself up from the sofa, and then stopped. He felt it, there in his stomach. A spasm rippled right across his abdomen, like some hidden fist gripping at his insides, followed by the audible sound of his stomach gurgling. If he hadn’t been on his own he would have been almost crippled by embarrassment, the indignity of another hearing his grumble of hunger. Quickly he walked into his flat’s kitchen and poured himself a glass of water; he had to stop his stomach protestin
  17. Drew Payne
    Spring to Summer 1999 When the police cautioned me about Gerry West, they said that if they ever caught me again, I'd go to prison. That frightened me. I mean really frightened me. I used to lay awake at night worrying about it, about going to prison. I once saw this film about being in prison and three guys raped this other guy because he was quiet and effeminate. I'm quiet and shy and not really very manly, I know they'd do all kinds of stuff to me in prison, I know what they'd do to a man
  18. Drew Payne
    The room had hardly changed in eleven years. The walls were still the same pale green and the furniture was arranged as I remembered it. A wardrobe, two chests of drawers, a desk and a large single bed. All made from the same dark and heavy wood, but long ago they had been painted a glossy white, which had faded to a dirty cream. Upon one wall was a mismatch of bookshelves, all packed to overflowing. The only new item of furniture was a vivid green director’s chair, pushed under the desk. Th
  19. Drew Payne
    Thanks. I got the idea from reading an interview with the actor Russell Tovey.
  20. Drew Payne
    That was what I got from reading that article, years ago, the boredom of just sitting around and waiting for business, and it struck me that's never been the image of working in this business.
  21. Drew Payne
    Jamie settled into his seat on the tube train. As always, he'd chosen the middle one of the bench seat. He plugged his MP3 player's headphones into his ears, continuing to listen to the latest Lady Gaga album, and settled down for his journey. It would take him just over an hour to reach the Westend from his home in Colliers Wood, deep in South London, but he couldn't afford to live any closer to the Westend. His body still ached from that morning's workout. He'd missed two trips to the gym,
  22. Drew Payne
    When I first started writing I wrote in long-hand, and wrote my stories on pads of lined white paper. I now mostly write straight onto my computer or laptop, but I still have found memories of filling up those empty white pages with my sprawling handwriting and tales of other people’s lives. So happy reading, I hope.
  23. Drew Payne
    June 1994 Calvin lay back on the sofa and flicked through a copy of Gay Times magazine. This copy was months old and he’d read it when it first came out, but he was bored and there was nothing else to do. He hated working the afternoon sessions, business was always slow, but Essex Brian insisted that they all take a turn at it. This afternoon was his turn. He was in the “lounge”, the room with the window where customers could view them and pick which one they
  24. Drew Payne
    Unfortunately not everyone is compassionate, and instead quickly jumps to judgement. If Kenny had been sympathetic would the story have had the same impact? I wanted Kenny to express the common myths about this situation.
  25. Drew Payne
    He sat up and pushed himself to the edge of the bed, careful to keep his back turned to the guy. (Had he said his name was Kenny?) God, he felt bad, his mood sinking further down. He wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole, certainly take him away from this place. “Was that it!” he heard the guy, Kenny, say. “Hardly seemed worth the effort.” “Sorry, that’s never happened before,” he replied. It was hard enough to bear without that Kenny pouring sarcasm upon him. “That’s
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