Drew Payne

Oh spoilers, spoilers. I'm writing the next chapter now, and it's set at the end of the same day that the first chapter starts on. I want to bring it full circle. I want to show how poor Liam's life has become after his release.

What a horrible case and I'm afraid not uncommon. A friend of mine worked in Child Protection for some years. The cases she dealt with scared me. I really admired her for doing so but I also knew that I could never do that work. You are right, people like Donna only get fired if they are involved in a very public event. Of course, they could find themselves fictionalised (only slightly) in an online serialised story. Shame the "inspiration" for Donna will probably never read this.

Donna isn't treating Liam worse than anyone else she doesn't like/approve of. She treats everyone she considers beneath her, and these are many people, in the same way - the worst way possible. The nurses know all about her but there is nothing they can do about her. The nurses are employed by the hospital and Donna is employed by the local probation service. The nurses can complain about her but that's all. And, from my own experience, it is very difficult to get rid of an employee like Donna. The best thing to do is make their life uncomfortable and hope they go and find a new job. Its a horrible attitude but it can be a nightmare trying to dismiss someone who knows how to play the system. But I am so happy people dislike Donna so much; it does me a lot of good.

Unfortunately, we don't have Homeowners Associations here in Britain; the Donnas have to find other professionals to hate everyone else in. At first, many years ago, I wondered why this sort of person gravitated to healthcare here in Britain. Over the years, I realised that they like feeling important and needed. They also like looking down on their colleagues for being "taken in" by the patients/clients, when really they're just being judgemental. I hated them. I'm so glad people hate Donna so much, it means I caught her personality. Don't be sorry for hating her, she is a horrible person, she just thinks she's better than the rest of us.

Wow, thank you, you have nailed Donna's personality. She is a complete See-You-Next-Thursday, who thinks no one is as good or intelligent as her. As I said, I have worked with many Donna's (both male and female), and I could have happily poisoned all of them. They are toxic and you end up doing half of their work too because they are so incompetent. If you look back on the first chapter of this story, Liam is alone and is failing in his new life. I need to show the readers how he got there and Donna is one of the steps down to that place. I'm also pleased that people have taken against Donna, it means I've got her character right. It's easier to write characters people like.

I don't like Donna either, but she is all too common in health/social care. I based her on several people I have worked with over the years, but especially on someone I worked with back in the mid-1990s. She had that same bumper sticker on her car. Unfortunately, people like Donna are all too real in our world. Liam has had a very protected life, at Nurton Cross, but Donna is a confrontation with the world outside.

Liam looked down at his bags lined up on his bed. His clothes were packed away in four dark grey, thick plastic bags that Pearl had given him. His old essays and the other things he’d saved from his studies, plus the five books he wanted to take with him, were packed away in a duffel bag he found in a second-hand shop months ago. His personal paperwork, the money he had been given as his “tide-over” benefits and the book he was reading were inside his leather satchel, another second-hand shop fi

Are you in London? Are you free on Saturday 26th September? Do you want to come to a free event? Would you like to hear some new and different writing? My writers group, Newham Writers Workshop, is celebrating its 40th Anniversary, which is a milestone for any writing group, and we’re organising a spoken word afternoon to celebrate it. It’ll be on Saturday 26th September, 3.00 pm to 5.00 pm, at the Stratford Library (3 The Grove, London E15 1EL). There’ll be lots of writers reading from their work, including me, cake and drinks, the launch of our book Showtime: 40th Anniversary Edition and a bookstall selling books associated with Newham Writers Workshop, including mine. Showtime: 40th Anniversary Edition includes my short story Three Stops on the Journey. It would be great to see you there. You can book a place here.

Thanks for the feedback. I want to assure you that I haven’t forgotten this story’s first chapter and where Liam was. This story is coming to an end and I know what that route will be. I’m glad that you liked what Pearl said to Liam. When she talks about not calling people monsters, because you negate the role their society and upbringing played in their crimes, is what I feel. I hate it when the media calls someone a “monster”, they are ignoring the things that drive that person to their crimes. A criminal is made by the world around them. (Yes, I’ve studied sociology) Pearl is based on a woman I worked with. She had a strong Christian faith and yet didn’t have a prejudiced bone in her body. She and my husband got on so well. In my teens and twenties, I tried to be a Christian, but I got involved in Evangelical Christianity. In the heart of the bible is the story of Jonathan and David, and it struck me so hard that this was a gay love story. When they met, there was a strong bond between them; they made a vow to each other and they wore each other’s clothes. That certainly sounds like lovers to me. When Jonathan was killed in battle, David was broken by this. This story, right there in the bible, gave me a sharp of hope as I faced so much Christian homophobia. Over thirty years ago, I heard an elderly woman call a gay couple “Jonathan and David”, and the name stuck with me. While writing this story, there have been a great many changes in my life; I’m not in the same place as when I started it, which has impacted the pace at which I write it. But I need to finish it, move the characters on and start something new. Unfortunately, other things keep getting in the way of me doing that.

He's leaving home, and that is always hard for anyone, but with Liam's history... I wouldn't like to be doing what he is at nineteen.

Nurton Cross has been his best home, which is a terrible indictment on his life, but he can't stay there forever. We know how his day began, back in Chapter One, but that day still hasn't ended. Wait for the last chapter.

@CincyKrisYes, Liam is scared. He's leaving the best home he has known (which is a terrible thing to say because he's been living in a high-security hospital for seven years), and he doesn't want to go, but he can't stay. Everything goes wrong in his first month outside of there. I've dropped references, in the present-day chapters, about what has gone wrong, but all of your points will be explained, and what Liam's future too.

Liam sat on the bench, in the hospital’s garden. The weather was warm and comfortable he could sit out there in only his jeans and a shirt. It was Thursday afternoon and he was due to leave here on Monday, there was no going back now, but there was also nothing for him to do. Donna had cancelled her meeting with him on Tuesday by sending a message that she didn’t need to see him again. All his paperwork was signed. Her message had arrived late. Liam lent back on the bench. This was the benc

Thank you so much for leaving this comment. I saw Bedrooms and Hallways at the cinema and have the video of it. It is a film I really enjoyed, it was about a world I recognised all too much, and it wasn't about another teenager coming out (which seemed to be most of the other gay films at the time). It also had a great cast. Plus, it has a great, quotable line in "I was just getting moist!" I will look out for your next book, and I'll check out your Substack.

I understand why people are frustrated that Liam doesn't stand up to Donna, but if Liam did that it would be so out of character. He's only 19, and for seven years he has led a very sheltered life. He is still a passive soul and defers to authority figures. Yes, he gave a very good description, during his Parole Broad hearing, of how he would deal with a bully in a workplace, but that was all head knowledge; he'd studied psychology. Look at how nervous and awkward he was during his Parole Broad hearing. I can't make Liam suddenly change his personality for no reason; that does not ring true. Him standing to Donna or causing problems around Donna's behaviour is still out of character for him, even at 19. It takes a lot to stand up to bullies, especially if you've been bullied in the past. Liam hasn't had enough experience to give him that confidence, that will come later in his life but not here. Also, this story starts in a very specific way, to change things now would change that opening, how is that being fair on readers? I need to show how Liam ended up in that mess. Donna's prejudice is part of how he ended up there, it's referenced at the beginning of this story. I know where this story is going to end. I promised a satisfying ending and that's what I'm going to deliver, but I don't want to say anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has commented here. There are now only three more chapters left in this story. As a writer, I am very aware that people want a satisfying ending to this story. You have followed Liam through such a dramatic journey. I'm very thankful for you doing this. I do not want to give away the ending, I've planned it for so long and I'm actually looking forward to writing it, but I do want to say it should be a satisfying ending. But I also want to make it realistic, for the characters and the situation. I hope you can trust me on this.

I despise Donna, too. She is a piece of work. I based her on many people I met, over the years, working in healthcare. I worked with some people (fortunately in the minority) who would let their own prejudices dictate how they treated patients. They would judge a patient over one or two things, and from that moment on would treat that patient negatively. It always frustrated me, when they did that, because we were charged to deliver unprejudiced care. At the beginning of my career I didn't know what to do when faced with this. As I got more experienced, I wouldn't let this behavior go unchallenged, and hell I could make such a stink. People, especially when they are vulnerable when needing healthcare, are far more than one or two tropes, and we need to see them as a full person who has holistic needs. That attitude could make me rather unpopular too. Liam has been looked after in Nurton Cross by people who worked hard at delivering unprejudiced care. Here he is faced with someone who isn't trying to hide her prejudice, because she feels she has the moral right to do so. She is undoing so much good work that has gone on before her. She is such a piece of work. Unfortunately, Liam is still such a passive soul. He needs to go straight to Janet, the ward manager, and tell her what a shit Donna is being, but she's someone in authority over him and he's differing to her. It's not healthy.

Donna's bias is dangerous. She's letting her bias blind her to Liam's needs and his actual history. Part of Liam's release recommendations is that he goes to university (What Mrs Williams wants), but Donna is totally ignoring that. She doesn't "believe" that Liam "deserve" to go to university. This story starts with Liam, aged 19, living in a shit-hole bedsit, I now need to explain how he ended up there. Donna is the big reason for this. She is the one responsible for what happened to Liam, as he left Nurton Cross.

This is the biggest change in Liam's life, since he came to Nurton Cross, and he's not doing very well with the change. He's older now (19), and he's much more aware of the changes happening around him. Unfortunately, he's still quite a passive soul, he just lets things happen around him, he reacts to things rather than initiating them. Ed is a very damaged soul, he has been sexually abused before he came to Nurton Cross. With Liam, he's found someone who cares deeply about him without demanding anything from him, and that has done Ed so much good. Unfortunately, Ed is very scared of being away from Liam and he can't handle that.

Thanks. Donna is mentioned at the very beginning of the story; it's time we finally met her now. She's based on a couple of people I've worked with over the years.

Liam sat at one of the tables in the ward’s Meeting Room and waited. He was supposed be meeting his new Resettlement Worker at ten o’clock. It was already ten-fifteen and there was no sign of them. Again, he looked around himself, but he knew this room inside-out - there was nothing new to see here anyway. He’d been in this room so many times before. Twice a week he’d sat in here for his group meetings, Group Therapy sessions, and he’d had so many different Multi-Disciplinary Team meetings in he

Thanks for your dedication; it means a lot, and I've had this ending planned for so long.

Yes, Ed and Liam have a very codependent relationship (and that's not a bad thing) and being apart will be very hard. There are only a few chapters left here, and I will show what the world has to offer Liam. But all the scenes set in the present day have shown what kind of life Liam is living, once he has been released, and it's not a spoiler to say he isn't doing well. Please stay to the end, because I've got a special ending planned.

Tony, Thanks for so many interesting comments. I'm glad you're enjoying this story (is enjoying the right word?). Firstly, there was such a large break in my writing this story because I was very ill for such a long time. My health is finally improving because, over a year ago, I started to get the treatment I needed. Ed is at risk of self-harming once Liam is released, but Ed is a patient in a mental health hospital, and one where the care is very good. The nurses will be keeping a close watch on him, and he'll have access to very few things he can self-harm with (Look back on the section where Chrissy self-harms). He'll be safe because the nurses there know how to do their jobs. Ed was admitted to Nurton Cross because he was sectioned (under the Mental Health Act). He doesn't need a parole decision to be released; he needs an MDT (Multi-Displinary Team) meeting agreeing he is ready for release. Basically, the clinicians at Nurton Cross will decide when he's released. He's already being prepared for release, hence his work experience outside of the hospital. If Liam and Ed had committed a crime together, then there would be a condition that they are separated upon release. But they met in the hospital, plus the parole board didn't know their relationship (well, the nurses didn't tell them), so there aren't any conditions on them meeting after they are both released. Also, remember the nurses there have a special fondness for Liam; he's been there the longest, and he's their real success story. I know they want to help these two boys. The next chapter, which I'm writing, deals with Liam preparing for release and will deal with his conditions of release, which were in his letter from the parole board. It will also introduce an character only hinted at, at the very beginning of this story. You are very right about how Liam's conviction will and will not be "spent". He's now 19, so he has passed the five and a half years mark where his conviction is spent. Yes, the police will always keep on record his crime, but that will only matter if he commits another crime. In a certain way, Liam will never escape his crime but he's no risk to society. I'm a great planner, for my writing, and I do know where this story is finally heading, and we're almost there. Drew

Liam pressed the intercom bottom, hearing the loud electronic buzz it emitted, and then waited for a reply. It was the only way to get back into Nurton Cross. He needed to buzz the intercom next to the hospital’s main door and then wait for a reply. It was never answered quickly. Today, he was late back, only half an hour, but later than his expected time back. He'd spent today at Cowgate College, another day of work experience in the Administration Office there. He spent the morning sortin