underthehoodster
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Part III Choices Chapter 7 The Rummage Sale Pt. I When I woke up, there was a dim light seeping into the room. I was somewhat surprised to find that I was lying on my own bed, on top of the covers, but still completely naked. Jesse was lying next to me, wide awake, a slight smile on his face, his hair perfectly combed, his blue eyes sparkling in an almost magical way. “Wh...what time is it?” I asked, fearing we had overslept. I was on the wall side of the bed and I couldn’
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Part III Choices Chapter 6 The Night Before... “Are you okay?” I asked nervously, feeling my first ever pangs of jealousy. My heart was pounding away in my chest, the same as if I had just run up and down the stairs a half dozen times. Jesse was the most physically attractive person I knew. He rivaled any kid on TV or in print that I’d ever seen, and certainly stood head and shoulders above anyone in our little town of Santa Corina. I mean--shit--if Jesse was attracted to a sixtee
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Part III Choices Chapter 5 The Day Before... Friday seemed to crawl along. We had Mass in the morning with the school president and founder, Father Marlen, leading the service as he did once a month or so. He was actually somewhere in his late fifties, but he seemed ageless somehow, with a smooth, clean shaven face that always had a gentle smile on it. His dark eyes seemed to be able to peer into your very soul, but never in an intrusive way. His black and grey peppered hair
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Perry (A fairly rich kid who always seems to be in some sort of trouble) and Jesse (A poor kid who is a blackbelt and has a bad past reguarding his previous schools and his father) find love for each other after Jesse moves to Perry's school from another city.
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Part III Choices Chapter 4 Geography Can Be Fun! Saturday morning we had a basketball practice. The team was doing great. We were 6 and 0, undefeated in our little Catholic middle school league. Coach Riegert was pushing us extra hard now, realizing that we had a shot at the regional playoffs. Morgan took it all very seriously, as our team captain and as our starting center, and he was determined to make every player an important part of the team. By the time I got home, I wa
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Part III Choices Chapter 3 Tom Redux On Friday, Tom rode home from school with me. He seemed in good spirits, and we chatted a bit in the car about ideas for the project. My mom seemed in a rush to get back to work, so she instructed me to fix some sandwiches, and reminded me where everything was. “Would Tom like to join us for dinner tonight?” she asked, as she pulled into the driveway. “It’s pizza night.” “Thanks, but my dad is picking me up after work. We have to go t
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Part III Choices Chapter 2 Angels And Demons It was a little strange seeing Tom the next day. In class, he seemed to try and avoid making eye contact with me. I just tried to pretend like nothing unusual had happened between us. Inwardly, I felt knots in my stomach--Tom had told me he was gay! He had told me that he had a crush on me since the first time he saw me. Even though he claimed that he had gotten over me, he had kissed me several times, twice on the lips! And he had w
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Chapter I Confession Sunday afternoon was long and miserable. Not only had I just gotten back from spending the night at Jesse’s house-- the most amazing day and half of my entire, almost fourteen years of existence-- I was now seriously worried for the first time about being discovered--by our parents, by our friends , and even by those nameless ones who hate for its own sake. Jesse and I had fallen in love so quickly--really the first time we met--and the last month and a half had p
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Part III Choices Prologue Whatever crisis--real or perceived, precipitated this project--this Chronicling Of My Youth as it were--it has now become a full blown obsession. I spend evenings locked in my study: recalling, reliving, writing and editing. I'm not sure it's healthy, although it has caused me to look at my current situation through slightly different eyes. It may be too soon to tell, but what started as a form of self-therapy might in some ways actually be having some
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I had the strangest dream that night. It started out pleasantly enough, with Jesse and I in my bedroom, both wearing our school uniforms. Neither one of us spoke, and there was some soft pop music playing in the background. Jesse just stood there with a little smile on his face, his crystal blue eyes twinkling in a way that could only happen in a dream. I approached him and pulled off his white polo shirt. Then I undid his khaki pants and pulled them down to his ankles. Jesse slipped off h
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Part II Discoveries Chapter 7 Spending The Night Part II I tossed the soiled paper towels in the kitchen trash and came back to stare at Jesse, who was now dozing peacefully. His beautiful face took on even more angelic characteristics as he relaxed in sleep, and I wanted nothing more than to press my lips to his as if it was to be our very first kiss. Reluctantly, I decided not to wake him up. I felt uncomfortably hot, sweaty and sticky, soiled by our wildly playful and passiona
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Part II Discoveries Chapter 6 Spending The Night-Pt. I When we got back to the apartment, Jesse poured me a cold glass of water from a pitcher in the fridge. I felt myself finally starting to calm down from the incident at the basketball court. Maybe I was just acting like a little kid. Despite the unpleasantness of my parent’s divorce, I had led a mostly sheltered existence. Jesse had come from a different world, a world of violence, mistrust, prejudice, and malice. Yet even
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Part II Discoveries Chapter 5 The Challenge Jesse put on a light jacket, but I felt comfortable in my short sleeved shirt and T-shirt. After all, it was a bright sunny November day in southern California, and sometimes it stayed comfortably warm right into December. The reddish marks on my wrists were still slightly visible, although my watch covered my left wrist nicely. I don’t think anyone would notice the discoloration of my other wrist unless they stared right at it. Even t
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Perry (A fairly rich kid who always seems to be in some sort of trouble) and Jesse (A poor kid who is a blackbelt and has a bad past reguarding his previous schools and his father) find love for each other after Jesse moves to Perry's school from another city.
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Part II Discoveries Chapter 4 Jesse’s Place Suddenly, there was sunlight in my face. “Wake up, sleepy head!” my mom said in a sing songy voice as she turned the blinds on my bedroom windows. I was wondering if she forgot today was Saturday...until I looked at the alarm clock--it was almost eight thirty! My mom was going to drop me off at Jesse’s around ten so she could go into Escondido to do some shopping and meet up with some friends. I was about to spring out of bed when
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Part II Discoveries Chapter 3 The Party Actually, the week went by quickly enough. We had a couple of tests on Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday afternoon was basketball practice, and Thursday night we had a game in Escondido which we won, and suddenly it was Friday evening... The party was supposed to start at 7:30 and my mom was going to drop me off. The plan was that Morgan’s mom would pick up us boys at eleven sharp. The girls were staying for a sleep over. Of course
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Part II Discoveries Chapter Two The Story It turned out to be a story, written out in long hand, about twenty pages in all. Now I knew why he wanted the computer so bad--what a painstaking process it must have been to write this all out by hand! Not to mention, he was left handed, which must have made it even more difficult. It was called Mall Encounter, and I of course flashed back to the little episode that had taken place over two weeks ago now, in which Jesse bravely res
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Chapter I A Little Alone Time I slept long and peacefully that night, without a care in the world. It wasn’t until early Saturday morning, while I lay in bed half asleep, that I started to think about the day before. Jesse and I had made some serious physical contact. Whether it fell under the label of sex or not, really didn’t matter--it had been an experience beyond my wildest dreams! At that moment, the whole issue of my sexual identity could be swept under the rug--I didn’t care!
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Part II Discoveries Prologue Well, here I am, having just completed Part II of my little stroll down memory lane. As you’ll recall, I started writing this stuff down as some form of self therapy, mainly because I felt I was being overwhelmed by a serious case of mid-life crisis. So the question one must ask at this point is: Has writing these memoirs improved or worsened my condition? The simple answer is of course, yes and no... Yes, forcing myself to go back to those days,
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Having somewhat regained my composure, I nodded earnestly. “I’d really like to sit down and talk,” I said, apprehension creeping into my voice as all my confused and conflicted feelings started welling up, along with the very real fear that I might have upset or disappointed Jesse somehow. “I think we should do this downstairs,” I suggested somewhat desperately. “If we stay up here, I’m just not sure...” My voice trailed off, but I was sure Jesse took my meaning. “That’s cool,” he agree
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Was I gay? The question kept coming to the front of my mind unbidden and unwelcome, as if my intellect was trying to send me some kind of last ditch warning. I understood exactly what Jesse meant when he said that he had never had these kinds of intense feelings for anyone before. I felt the same way. Of course I loved my mom, and there were my grandparents, and there was even a reluctant place for my dad in my deepest being, but nothing compared to the love, both physical and emotional, th
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The week of Jesse’s impending visit turned out to be a busy one, making the time go by much quicker than it otherwise might have. We had our first two major tests of the year, English on Tuesday, and Math on Thursday. Thursday night we had a basketball game with a visiting team from Escondido-- from a much bigger school than ours--and we won. We won! On Tuesday morning, Tom met up with me in the parking lot and he looked a little...odd, like he was nervous or apprehensive about somethi
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My mom insisted on having dinner with me at the mall that night. There was a little French style cafe that she liked and that had a pretty good ‘Bistro Steak.’ I agreed reluctantly, not really wanting my friends to see me eating dinner with my mom. My only condition was that we go early! So it was a little after six when we got to the mall. The show wasn’t until eight, but I had agreed with my buddies to meet at the ticket booth no later than seven fifteen, since it was the first night of
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That night, as I lay in bed, Jesse was definitely on my mind. As I thought about him, seeing him from every angle, giving me that awkward little smile, flashing those big baby blues in my direction, I actually felt myself starting to get hard. I wasn’t totally surprised, since I had been getting a definite buzz from being around Jesse since the minute he walked into class. But now, I started to imagine what it would be like to have him come over, maybe even spend the night. The pool was
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Mid-life crisis! I used to think it was just an excuse for a middle aged guy to run out and buy a shiny new convertible on credit, or an apology to justify a little bit of marital indiscretion, or a justification to get up and leave your dull boring job and drive up to the mountains for a week--Boy, was I ever wrong! Because I’ve got it...Real Bad! I feel like I don’t quite fit into my life anymore. Not that I have it half bad. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I have a wife of m
