The Journeyman

I didn't realize until last week that Dom had finished the story. This was a masterpiece. I loved the way the characters developed, and while I always get frustrated with Dom for the way he draws out the development, there is always just the right note of resolution at the end. The think I appreciate is that he leaves me wanting more -- the mark of a truly good writer. I fell in love with Dennis and Travis, and I never, ever thought I would. They were both so nauseating a the outset. But by Dom's alchemy, they were slowly transformed. The heck with Owen and Aiden and their ineptness, Dennis and Travis were the heroes of the story. They became my fascination. I'm glad I didn't realize he had finished until he did, because I could read the whole rest of the story at once. It was excellent. Thanks, Dom.

Geez, as much as I liked these characters in the first story, I really don't like any of them now. Not one of them thinks normally -- they are all secretive, suspicious and self-centered. Every single one of them. Not one has an ounce of compassion for anyone else. Owen adn nAiden can't even have a civil conversation, and it doesn't really maike sense that Owen would be so suspicious of Aiden that he can't even let Aiden explain himself. Pfah. I have no time for them. None-the-less, my 100% reliable prediction how everyone will end up: Owen and Lyle togther; Dennis and Leo together and the four of them will all be part of the same commitment ceremony. Ben and Reilly together (HA! You didn't see that one coming, I bet) and Aiden and Travis together Aiden/Travis will live next door to Dennis/Leo so Valentine can go back and forth between Dennis and Travis. You heard it here first! Journeyman

ALTHOUGH -- Mark Twain did an oustanding job of conveying dialects. He is an exception. His ear was dead-on. It does make his dialog a little hard to read, but once you get in the rhythm of it, his wriiting is so elegant that it carries you along. Of course, it got him in huge trouble, and actually continues to even now. His portrayal of Jim's accent is heavily criticized as being racist. Actually, Twain (Samuel Clement) gave everyone an accent. Truth be told, his portrayal of Huck's accent isn't very flattering, either. But it does create a sense of time and place. I think the rest of us need to be minimalist in our approach to dialect. I was just rereading something I did, and I cringed when I read a few passages where I gave in to the temptation. It's jarring and awkward. Word selection and word order are the most important. If we know the character is a California teenage surfer dude, we know it's pronounced "dewd" -- It doesn't have to be spelled that way. If we know he's a Minnesota (or Canada or Wisconsinn or Michigan or North Dakota) snowboarder dude, we know it's "dood". Our own minds will make that adjustment. It isn't easy, but we can create natural-sounding dialog appropriate to the age and region using normal spellings. Journeyman

I think Kitty is right. Ryan is not in crisis -- there is no imminent personal life-death situation that he is facing just now. There is no crisis. He is under stress, and the problem is that it is that he has created a spiral of stress for himself. He refused to talk about or even acknowledge the first crisis -- Toby's -- and began to withdraw. Which made talking about anything more difficult. Then with Mikey (a tragedy, but not a crisis), he felt more alienated and less willing to talk, and now I think he feels (subconsciously, perhaps) that he really has no one to talk to. The spiral feeds on itself. I also wonder if LB hasn't found himself in a little bit of a spiral with Ryan. Characters take on lives of their own, and the authors are sometimes a little hard-pressed to get them to do what they want them to. Anyone who has written anything knows what I'm talking about. Things may actually have progressed a little further with Ryan than LB maybe wanted, although I haven't seen any hard evidence of that. Each of us does act differently to stress. I tend to withdraw, too. Some talk to as many people as they can. Some bake pies. Some show anger. Some stand around so consumed by the stress that they are paralyzed -- they can't say or do anything. The don't know what to do. All they can do is rely on whatever routine they have. I haven't posted here before, so let me say that I like this story a lot. I'm a fan of love, good dialog and character development. This story has all of that. Journeyman

Yup, I agree with y'all. It's far easier to say, "I'd love to take you to my bedroom," he drawled in that cute Texas accent of his," than to write, "Ah'd luv to tike yew to mah bay-ed-rume." But dialog is tough to write in the first place. I think that's one of the attractions of your stories, Dom. Your dialog is realistic. It sounds like teenagers -- well, educated teenagers, at least. And there's a lot of it. A story need some paragraphs of description now and then, but what really moves the story, and what is really attractive to the reader, is good, interactive and expository dialog. Journeyman

Absymmian Non-Vegan Gazpacho (Also known more trendily as New Absymmian Goat Chowder) 9.32 lbs smoked goat, hair, horns and sexual organs removed 1 lb potatoes (new are best, but near-petrified work okay) 5 vine-ripe tomatoes 1 bunch broccoli-rabe (including fungus if you can get it) Parsley, sage and leaves of the Absymmian beechnut tree (DO NOT substitute the American beechnut or Beechnut gum) 1 can each tomato juice and Welch's white zinfandel grape juice Cracked black pepper and sea salt created from waters 7.2 miles off the northweast shore of Crete -- if you can't get this, don't even bother with the chowder. Make Wisconsin Beer Cheese Soup instead. Chop or shred smoked goat (how you smoke your goat is up to you, as long as the authorities don't find out) into pieces small enough that they are easily masticated (which you can do as a group on solo) and swallowable. Dice the potatoes into 1/4 inch squares. Remove tomatoes from the vine, gentlyl squeeze the guts out of them, then chop into chunks about the same size as the goat meat (which you previously removed). Do what you want with the broccoli-rabe. Gently braise in retsina the potatoes, tomatoes and rabe until you can fork them easily. In a large pot, combine goat, veggies, juices and all spices except the sea salt. Add the sea salt to taste. Heat gently over a goat-dung fire, and simmer six hours. Let cool. Order a pizza. Serve the gazpacho the next day reheated. NOTE: There is a fierce debate whether true New Absymmian Goat Chowder should be made with tomatoes or milk. If you want to substitute milk for the tomatoes, elinate the broccoli-rabe, and substitute clams for the goat. Journeyman

When I was writing my story a couple of years ago, I once went about six months between chapters. I felt terrible about it, but as much as I loved the story, I just couldn

Well I loved this chapter. It was one of the sweetest Dom has written. I said in my last posting (last chapter) that not one of hte characters was likeable. Dom has changed that. Nelson in naively annoying. I like him a lot when he's not drinking. His friends are coing around. But mostly I like this chapter for its romanticism. In DD Dom wrote a huge chapter-part about holding hands that was one of the most erotic things I have read. I think the growth of the relationship between Nelson and Milo here was almost as erotic, culminating in the sex, and finally Milo's admission that they are boyfriends. My mental image of Milo shirtless and barefoot (especially barefoot) was especially hot. In fact, there were several mentions of bare feet in this (I love bare feet!) that got me hopeful! I know, I'm a perv. At least I don't lust after the goat. Although the soup sounds intersting. I did love this chapter. I'm eager for the rest of the story. Excellent work, Dom. Journeyman

I agree. I think everyone but Milo went back to dick-dom in this chapter. What a bunch of disagreeable jerks, and Nelson is leading the herd. This guy doesn't have a compassionate bone in his body. Everything, and I mean every single thing, is about him. He doesn't take into consideration what anyone else wants. He's a self-centered little shit. Milo is the only one with any sense of compassion, and he's really just scared. Now, that's not to say it's not a great story. It is. I think Dom is an excellent writer, and he's putting himself and us in a spot to make some really big changes. But he's done this before. And if I can offer just a little criitique -- not criticism, but critique -- there is a formula here: One terribly insecure guy, one pretty nice guy, one hateful shit. It was that way in TOU and DD (in both cases the hateful guy was slightly redeemed in the last chapter), less so in TLW (Taylor wasn't all that bad). I'm eager to see if/how Dom will clean Nels up -- there's a lot of cleaning if you ask me. Joe, Hailley and the rest of them may be beyond help, but I bet Dom can redeem even them. Journeyman

This is a really good chapter, and that's going to have to carry me into the story by iitself. So far I don't find anyone who's likeable. Not one. Maybe Chad. He's the only one. But then, Dom has a habit of this -- making people you just want to slap --or worse -- and turning them likeable. I can't wait to see how he does it this time -- cuz these people are really awful. You have given yourself a challenge, my friend. But I know you can do it. Journeyman.

This is an excellent chapter -- so full of emotion and understanding. There was a lot of growth in this chapter. I love Seth -- he is my favorite character, and I hope that Dom arranges it so that he and Rory end up together. I honestly have been wondering if the person Luke is obsessing about is Aaron! I know that sounds completely daft, and the evidence against that proposition is so much greater than the evidence for it. But a couple of dropped lines in the last two chapters got me wondering. In Ch. 30 Luke says to Rory that if he told Rory who "it" is, the only person Rory would try talking sense into was Luke. Luke has every reason to hate Aaron, and has even confronted Aaron in anger, I know, but in every single case it has been to protect Rory. Then in this chapter Luke says "You know it

This is such a well-deserved honor. And the best part is, Dom, that you continue to improve and challenge yourself. I love reading your stories. Congratulations! Journeyman

Okay, I'll be the dissident here. I mean, this was a fascinating beginning, but I really want to read the rest of DD first. DD got interrupted for another project already, and I'm afraid With Trust is going to do the same. Dom, don't get side-tracked, or even derailed. Please, please finish DD, and then devote your full energy to fleshing out this story. Journeyman