The Journeyman

I didn't realize until last week that Dom had finished the story. This was a masterpiece. I loved the way the characters developed, and while I always get frustrated with Dom for the way he draws out the development, there is always just the right note of resolution at the end. The think I appreciate is that he leaves me wanting more -- the mark of a truly good writer. I fell in love with Dennis and Travis, and I never, ever thought I would. They were both so nauseating a the outset. But by Dom's alchemy, they were slowly transformed. The heck with Owen and Aiden and their ineptness, Dennis and Travis were the heroes of the story. They became my fascination. I'm glad I didn't realize he had finished until he did, because I could read the whole rest of the story at once. It was excellent. Thanks, Dom.

Geez, as much as I liked these characters in the first story, I really don't like any of them now. Not one of them thinks normally -- they are all secretive, suspicious and self-centered. Every single one of them. Not one has an ounce of compassion for anyone else. Owen adn nAiden can't even have a civil conversation, and it doesn't really maike sense that Owen would be so suspicious of Aiden that he can't even let Aiden explain himself. Pfah. I have no time for them. None-the-less, my 100% reliable prediction how everyone will end up: Owen and Lyle togther; Dennis and Leo together and the four of them will all be part of the same commitment ceremony. Ben and Reilly together (HA! You didn't see that one coming, I bet) and Aiden and Travis together Aiden/Travis will live next door to Dennis/Leo so Valentine can go back and forth between Dennis and Travis. You heard it here first! Journeyman

ALTHOUGH -- Mark Twain did an oustanding job of conveying dialects. He is an exception. His ear was dead-on. It does make his dialog a little hard to read, but once you get in the rhythm of it, his wriiting is so elegant that it carries you along. Of course, it got him in huge trouble, and actually continues to even now. His portrayal of Jim's accent is heavily criticized as being racist. Actually, Twain (Samuel Clement) gave everyone an accent. Truth be told, his portrayal of Huck's accent isn't very flattering, either. But it does create a sense of time and place. I think the rest of us need to be minimalist in our approach to dialect. I was just rereading something I did, and I cringed when I read a few passages where I gave in to the temptation. It's jarring and awkward. Word selection and word order are the most important. If we know the character is a California teenage surfer dude, we know it's pronounced "dewd" -- It doesn't have to be spelled that way. If we know he's a Minnesota (or Canada or Wisconsinn or Michigan or North Dakota) snowboarder dude, we know it's "dood". Our own minds will make that adjustment. It isn't easy, but we can create natural-sounding dialog appropriate to the age and region using normal spellings. Journeyman

I think Kitty is right. Ryan is not in crisis -- there is no imminent personal life-death situation that he is facing just now. There is no crisis. He is under stress, and the problem is that it is that he has created a spiral of stress for himself. He refused to talk about or even acknowledge the first crisis -- Toby's -- and began to withdraw. Which made talking about anything more difficult. Then with Mikey (a tragedy, but not a crisis), he felt more alienated and less willing to talk, and now I think he feels (subconsciously, perhaps) that he really has no one to talk to. The spiral feeds on itself. I also wonder if LB hasn't found himself in a little bit of a spiral with Ryan. Characters take on lives of their own, and the authors are sometimes a little hard-pressed to get them to do what they want them to. Anyone who has written anything knows what I'm talking about. Things may actually have progressed a little further with Ryan than LB maybe wanted, although I haven't seen any hard evidence of that. Each of us does act differently to stress. I tend to withdraw, too. Some talk to as many people as they can. Some bake pies. Some show anger. Some stand around so consumed by the stress that they are paralyzed -- they can't say or do anything. The don't know what to do. All they can do is rely on whatever routine they have. I haven't posted here before, so let me say that I like this story a lot. I'm a fan of love, good dialog and character development. This story has all of that. Journeyman

Yup, I agree with y'all. It's far easier to say, "I'd love to take you to my bedroom," he drawled in that cute Texas accent of his," than to write, "Ah'd luv to tike yew to mah bay-ed-rume." But dialog is tough to write in the first place. I think that's one of the attractions of your stories, Dom. Your dialog is realistic. It sounds like teenagers -- well, educated teenagers, at least. And there's a lot of it. A story need some paragraphs of description now and then, but what really moves the story, and what is really attractive to the reader, is good, interactive and expository dialog. Journeyman

Absymmian Non-Vegan Gazpacho (Also known more trendily as New Absymmian Goat Chowder) 9.32 lbs smoked goat, hair, horns and sexual organs removed 1 lb potatoes (new are best, but near-petrified work okay) 5 vine-ripe tomatoes 1 bunch broccoli-rabe (including fungus if you can get it) Parsley, sage and leaves of the Absymmian beechnut tree (DO NOT substitute the American beechnut or Beechnut gum) 1 can each tomato juice and Welch's white zinfandel grape juice Cracked black pepper and sea salt created from waters 7.2 miles off the northweast shore of Crete -- if you can't get this, don't even bother with the chowder. Make Wisconsin Beer Cheese Soup instead. Chop or shred smoked goat (how you smoke your goat is up to you, as long as the authorities don't find out) into pieces small enough that they are easily masticated (which you can do as a group on solo) and swallowable. Dice the potatoes into 1/4 inch squares. Remove tomatoes from the vine, gentlyl squeeze the guts out of them, then chop into chunks about the same size as the goat meat (which you previously removed). Do what you want with the broccoli-rabe. Gently braise in retsina the potatoes, tomatoes and rabe until you can fork them easily. In a large pot, combine goat, veggies, juices and all spices except the sea salt. Add the sea salt to taste. Heat gently over a goat-dung fire, and simmer six hours. Let cool. Order a pizza. Serve the gazpacho the next day reheated. NOTE: There is a fierce debate whether true New Absymmian Goat Chowder should be made with tomatoes or milk. If you want to substitute milk for the tomatoes, elinate the broccoli-rabe, and substitute clams for the goat. Journeyman

When I was writing my story a couple of years ago, I once went about six months between chapters. I felt terrible about it, but as much as I loved the story, I just couldn

Well I loved this chapter. It was one of the sweetest Dom has written. I said in my last posting (last chapter) that not one of hte characters was likeable. Dom has changed that. Nelson in naively annoying. I like him a lot when he's not drinking. His friends are coing around. But mostly I like this chapter for its romanticism. In DD Dom wrote a huge chapter-part about holding hands that was one of the most erotic things I have read. I think the growth of the relationship between Nelson and Milo here was almost as erotic, culminating in the sex, and finally Milo's admission that they are boyfriends. My mental image of Milo shirtless and barefoot (especially barefoot) was especially hot. In fact, there were several mentions of bare feet in this (I love bare feet!) that got me hopeful! I know, I'm a perv. At least I don't lust after the goat. Although the soup sounds intersting. I did love this chapter. I'm eager for the rest of the story. Excellent work, Dom. Journeyman

I agree. I think everyone but Milo went back to dick-dom in this chapter. What a bunch of disagreeable jerks, and Nelson is leading the herd. This guy doesn't have a compassionate bone in his body. Everything, and I mean every single thing, is about him. He doesn't take into consideration what anyone else wants. He's a self-centered little shit. Milo is the only one with any sense of compassion, and he's really just scared. Now, that's not to say it's not a great story. It is. I think Dom is an excellent writer, and he's putting himself and us in a spot to make some really big changes. But he's done this before. And if I can offer just a little criitique -- not criticism, but critique -- there is a formula here: One terribly insecure guy, one pretty nice guy, one hateful shit. It was that way in TOU and DD (in both cases the hateful guy was slightly redeemed in the last chapter), less so in TLW (Taylor wasn't all that bad). I'm eager to see if/how Dom will clean Nels up -- there's a lot of cleaning if you ask me. Joe, Hailley and the rest of them may be beyond help, but I bet Dom can redeem even them. Journeyman

This is a really good chapter, and that's going to have to carry me into the story by iitself. So far I don't find anyone who's likeable. Not one. Maybe Chad. He's the only one. But then, Dom has a habit of this -- making people you just want to slap --or worse -- and turning them likeable. I can't wait to see how he does it this time -- cuz these people are really awful. You have given yourself a challenge, my friend. But I know you can do it. Journeyman.

This is an excellent chapter -- so full of emotion and understanding. There was a lot of growth in this chapter. I love Seth -- he is my favorite character, and I hope that Dom arranges it so that he and Rory end up together. I honestly have been wondering if the person Luke is obsessing about is Aaron! I know that sounds completely daft, and the evidence against that proposition is so much greater than the evidence for it. But a couple of dropped lines in the last two chapters got me wondering. In Ch. 30 Luke says to Rory that if he told Rory who "it" is, the only person Rory would try talking sense into was Luke. Luke has every reason to hate Aaron, and has even confronted Aaron in anger, I know, but in every single case it has been to protect Rory. Then in this chapter Luke says "You know it

This is such a well-deserved honor. And the best part is, Dom, that you continue to improve and challenge yourself. I love reading your stories. Congratulations! Journeyman

Okay, I'll be the dissident here. I mean, this was a fascinating beginning, but I really want to read the rest of DD first. DD got interrupted for another project already, and I'm afraid With Trust is going to do the same. Dom, don't get side-tracked, or even derailed. Please, please finish DD, and then devote your full energy to fleshing out this story. Journeyman

I wait so eagerly for every chapter, and I am never disappointed. Dom has managed to spread the characters in such a way that any conclusion, whether it be Rory/Seth or Rory/Luke or even Rory/Aaron would make sense (yep, even Rory/Aaron, although Dom would have to stretch to make that happen -- and a good writer is always looking for ways to challenge himself). I know from the other postings how much you all appreciate Dom's skills. I am just in awe. The small and big plot twists are always a surprise, but always make sense. The scenes of tenderness between the Luke and Seth are sensational. Without going over the top, Dom has let them experience each other from the first tentative hand-holding to a crashing orgasm. Perhaps most gratifying was the cuddling and continued attention after the climax, during which Seth held Rory and let him sleep. Seth is my absolute favorite character. Dom has created a prototype lover. I hope the two of them end up together, but the team I root for never seems to win, so I may have to resign myself to Rory/Luke. I love to watch Dom grow as a writer. Fortunately, he lets us in on his growth. This is delightful. Thanks, Dom. Journeyman

It's posted.

Hey, everyone, do yourself a favor. While you're waiting for DD 28 to come out, go back and read chapters 26 and 27 back-to-back. Most of us don't take time to do it -- myself included. When chapters come out serially, we tend to read the latest chapter, and only if we need to do we go back and check out and earlier chapter, ususally to check out something we've forgotten. But in these two chapters, Dom has done something extraordinary. Read them as one long, sensuous love-making session. Several people commented on the chapter 26 discussion about the eroticism of Seth and Rory taking the walk. What Dom did in building the tension and sexuality of that scene was astrouding. There is a texture to that passage that most writing never reaches. We can feel -- I mean feel -- the hairs on their arms. We can feel the light touch of the fingers. When a palm got touched it sent a shiver right up my arm. I know that feeling exactly. And Dom built it from just a tiny beginning into a tsunami of emotion. It was an sexual peak that was as satisfying in its intensity as it was frustrating at the interruption. That hand-holding scene was hotter than most sex scenes are by lesser writers. Dom forces us to take a break to deal with Eddie, Aaron and ice skating. This, I think, was a stroke of genius (and yes, take that any way you want). It starts all over again in the bathroom with the kissing, but we are really taken back to the hand-holding first at the skating rink and then at the movie. Then Dom moves us to some heavy make-out action. I have never, in all my reading on Nifty and elsewhere, seen kissing described so well. Even if you have never kissed romantically, you just know what it's like from Dom's description. And if you ever have had a heavy session, you realize how absolutely on-target this whole thing is. It is so expertly written. We get a detailed description of how Rory gets into Seth's pants, but, brilliantly, Seth is in Rory's pants before Rory realizes it. By the time Rory explodes in Seth's hungry mouth, we are exhausted. This is a two-chapter love scene. The foreplay is unmatched, and the relief is palpable. I love Dom's plot twists and character development, but this -- this was genius. Anyone who has tried to write a love scene (and I have) just has to appreciate what Dom has done here. Honestly, I am humbled by these two chapters. Two of the best I have read anywhere. Thanks, Dom. Journeyman

Welcome, first timer. And no, you're not the only one. I still want to see Rory and Seth together. But what I really want to say is what an outstanding job Dom has done with this plot. It is erotic wiouthout sex, it is exciting, and it is complex. None of us has a clue where there story is headed because of Dom's excellent plot-building. Not one of these lines is a dead end, but he also hasn't tipped his hand which way it will go. There are so many possibilities. He has built flaws into every character, but also assets so it's impossible to tell where the story might go. And there are those, including me, who even hope Aaron (and no, I won't append it with TLS, because I think Dom has good things in store for him, just as Taylor wasn't hopeless) will turn out okay. Dom has matured as a writer. Each story has become deeper in character development and more intricate in plot. TOU and TLW were good stories, but he has built on them and put even more thought and effort into this one. I am happy he hasn't become bored with the story, which can happend after 26 chapters. I am really eager to get to the end of the story and find out how Rory and Seth end up together (he-he), whom Luke ends up with, and how Aaron will redeem himself (or how Dom will redeem him), but I am having so much fun reading it that I can wait. Even for cliff-hangers. Oh, one last thing. Dom has an excellent ear for dialog. If you read much on Nifty, you know what I mean. One thing that escapes many writers is dialog. Elecivil, Brew, Christopher Patrick Lydon and a few others also have that gift, but it isn't easy, and bad dialog will kill a good plot line. So thanks, Dom, for the natural flow of the story, and a wonderful tale. Journeyman

Rory and Seth! Rory and Seth! Rory and Seth! Rory and Seth! Yaaaaaaaaayyyy TEAM! Journeyman

I'm pulling for Rory and Seth. Seth is THE coolest character in the story right now, and getting cooler all the time. Luke has become a dishrag just now. Seth is cute and more normal than anyone else in the story. He has an odd way about him, but he at least is bold enough to go after what he wants, is comfortable in his own skin, isn't out to decieve anyone, has a very gentle (and non-violent) manner about him and owns up to his own responsibilities. He also has a sense of humor, which more of these jokers could use. Luke's funny looks, I think, were actually of jealousy. But not the kind y'all think. He was jealous not of Seth, but of Rory AND Seth -- that they seem to have started on a relationship so quickly, and Luke can't seem to sprout the short hairs to get one started (with Rick or whomever). And the person he has a crush on may actually be Dave (hence the comment, "He's not interested, trust me." Rory and Seth may be the catalys for getting him hooked up with a bf, or at least a fb. But I think the final outcome of the star couple is Rory and Seth. Journeyman.

I love Seth. He is by far the coolest character in this whole comedy-drama. He is the only entirely forthcoming person -- he has told the truth from the beginning, I think, if somewhat bluntly. I'm fed up with Rory. He has become, to me, merely a backdrop for the development of Seth's character. It was so cool to see Seth in an entirely family situation, and a normal family to boot (except for the eccentricity in middle names). I don't know if Seth is really after Rory for a relationship, or simply trying to be a friend to a guy he sees in trouble. Whatever, I think he would be the best thing for Rory. Luke isn't -- Luke has truth problems along with all the others. He has proven that several times, the latest being with Seth at the patio-laying party. On top of that he can't seem to tell Rory who is "love" is. He's hiding again. Luke and Rory don't belong together. Eddie is emerging as a hero. As a parent, I completely applaud his efforts at keeping track of Rory. Rory hasn't earned his trust, and Eddie is finally figuring out how to be a parent with a gentle touch. I'm happy to see that. I still think Aaron is salvageable. And I think Dom has too big of a heart to let Aaron languish. Dave is hopeless. In fact, Dave's savior with the whole relationship thing may also be Seth. Have I mentioned that I love Seth? Journeyman

Seth is my new favorite character. I think he's adorable. He's shy and he's honest (yes, he is honest!), and he's trying to figure out how to get Rory to like him. He appears to be manipulative because he's so unsure of himself. He has a kindred spirit in Rory -- both of them having been used by Aaron. Luke was, too, but Luke is a different sort of character. Luke and Rory don't belong together. Luke and Rory are allies; they will become a bulwark against the world -- Jase, Eddie, Aaron and the other interference of the world. Mind you, I've come to like Eddie and Jase, and I think Aaron will get the help he need and will turn out to be a good guy; but untrusted. No, Seth is cute and I like him. He and Rory deserve each other (for more reasons than one). And Monopoly is the perfect game. You can learn a lot about how aggressive a person is going to be, how forgiving he can be, how laid back he can be and how inept he can be. And it lasts a long, long time. Lots of time to talk. You can take breaks. You don't have to finish it (unless you're an anal-retentive Type-A personality). No sex this time; this little interlude is to get to know one another. Seth knows what he's doing. And it's not only to get into Rory's boxers. I think Seth has feelings for Rory, and right now he feels sorry for all that Rory has been through. This is to put him at ease, and to try to convince Rory that he (Seth) can be a friend, and confort, and (eventually, but not just now) and tremendous source of sexual release (think Mt. Vesuvius). Hi, Elecivil. Good to see you here. Journeyman

Actually, as a parent who has made mistakes (nothing as severe as getting someone pregnant at 16) as a teenager, it is not hypocritical to try to steer your children away from those mistakes. I smoked pot as a teenager. I tell my son not to. I also tell him that I did, and why I don't think it's a good idea. Do I BAN him from doing it or tell him I'll throw him out of the house if he does? No. I simply try to give him some guidance based on my own experience. I also had a drunk driving accident as a teenager. I STRONGLY tell him not to drink and drive. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't think so. It makes me a parent by being able to share a bad experience in the hope that my son doesn't make the same mistake. Eddie isn't a good parent yet, and I don't much care for the fumbling effort he's making, but he's not a hypocrite for trying to give Rory some help here. He, of all people, should know something about safe sex, whether straight or gay. Rory's comment was low (lower than my earlier comment about Rory sucking, and apparenlty no well). We'd be worse parents if we didn't try to help our children avoid the mistakes we've made. It would be irresponsible of Eddie not to talk to Rory about safe sex. If I catch my son driving drunk I will probably over-react, too. But it won't be because I'm a hypocrite. It will be because I know the terrible consequnces of it first hand, and I can pass on that experience. Journeyman

Okay, I'm fed up with Rory. He should go back to Grandma Alice so they can make each other miserable and not screw up the rest of humanity. Rory doesn't have a kind bone in his body. He has not demonstrated a kindness in 19 chapters, not one that he initiated himself. He hasn't been a friend to Luke, he has rejected every single attempt at people being kind to him, he is unappreciative of things people do for him, he is jealous, revengeful, blind, unfeeling and uncaring for everyone except his own damn self. I am almost to the point of not being able to read anything about him; I do it to see what the next selfish, stupid thing he'll do, and I'm not disappointed. If he stays in Arizona he will make Jase, Eddie and Luke miserable and maybe even rend the family apart. I once defended him because of what he'd been though; but no more. My defense of Rory days are over. Someone needs to pound the snot out of him, but that won't work because he'll just hold another grudge and won't figure that he played any any part in it or deserved it at all. I'm afraid he's beyond redemption. We would have to have a bolt-of-lightning, Act-of-God type of moment for him to get it. Rory sucks. And apparently doesn't even do that well. Journeyman