^ I'm kind of confused here Have you tried either bottoming or topping? If you're unsure which position you prefer, then you ought to try both out (preferably with someone you trust and even better - care about and vice versa) and see what you enjoy best.
As for me, I go both ways - depends on the partner. In my case, when I meet someone, after a short while I immediately know if I would either top or bottom in that relationship. But, in all honesty, I think I'm more of a bottom ^^ There's just something I really enjoy about it, about someone holding you and... so on