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Everything posted by Mark Paren
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It could be a couple of things. The lumin on the plains is more dense. Tomas was stronger when he went from the plains to Henry’s world. Although Henry contributed lumin to the trip, it didn’t offset the requirements of transporting them both.
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Thanks for the comment. It’s would be a difficult thing to explain without a demonstration.
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Henry has much to explore and discover.
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Part 2 will explore this new world Henry finds himself in.
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Tomas stood, stepping a few paces away from the table. “Henry’s different,” he said calmly. “He processes energy in a way no one else here does.” As he spoke, his body began to glow with a brilliant, translucent blue light, soft yet commanding. “This trait will kill him unless we leave this world.” Henry’s parents froze, paralyzed by the spectacle. The glow faded, and Tomas stood before them, casually holding the iced-tea pitcher. “Would anyone like a refill?” ** Henry’s parents s
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There are many wonders in store for Henry more then Tomas.
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** ‘Control the run, control the run.’ Speed felt good—too good. His body needed it. Faster and faster, the trail blurring. It was like jerking off, that same build-up to a release, but stronger, deeper. As an early teen, he had little else to compare it to, but the sensation was overwhelming, a climax rising within him. Faster, faster, faster—something was happening, something was coming. ** Henry’s senses exploded, a torrent of heightened awareness that overwhelmed him. The worl
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Thank you for the comment. I do have an outline for more chapters that involve an inevitable tone change. I might write a part 2 some day. Thanks again
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** "That was excellent. It will become more comfortable in time." Henry was stunned. After several seconds, He exclaimed," What do you mean? What just happened!" Tomas explained," Henry, you are changing, and I am here to guide you during the transition." ** Henry stood rooted to the trail, his chest heaving, his mind reeling from Tomas’s words: ‘You’re changing, Henry. I’m here to help you with the transition.’ Those words hit like a punch. Who was this boy, radiating a
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Henry is a loner attending an exclusive Silicon Valley boarding school. A mysterious new kid shows up mid term in order to guide Henry on a momentous adventure.
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Twm appeared. His skin was hot. Unnaturally hot. He dragged his body down the bank of a gully and collapsed to the ground in a state of near exhaustion, having expended himself like never before. And there he slept, sucking in the radiant energy from the sun above and the ground below. Chapter One Henry was a freshman at the exclusive prep school his father attended twenty-five years earlier. His full name was Henry August Adams III. He hated his name for its pretentiousness. Did his f
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Adolescent isolation, whether physical or emotional, can be a problem under the best of circumstances, let alone living on the moon. I look forward to the next chapter.
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There might be a hint in the beginning of chapter 1.
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FT Chapter 3 - Water Tank
Mark Paren commented on quokka's story chapter in FT Chapter 3 - Water Tank
Simpler times. At least they seem so looking back. Thanks for the story. -
Interesting that you brought up ASD. I edited a section out about his instructors, Mr. Kitchens, consideration of John’s condition. It was a close call but I decided it might slow the pace of the story. It’s an important topic and I didn’t want to sell it short. That might have been a mistake. I’m not sure about the time lag. After the first few paragraphs everything should be contemporaneous. Ethan tells some stories but it is suppose to relate to the current (story) time period. Maybe I need to reread it with that in mind. Thanks for the comments.
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John was in his usual place. He looked uncomfortable. He wasn't fidgeting like the day before but wringing his hands. Ethan, picking up on John's distress, placed his backpack on the table and said, "I brought my stuff." The boy smiled. It was a genuine smile. Both Ethan and Mr. Kitchens smiled back. Ethan's smile evolved into a friendly laugh. Mr. K followed suit, and to their delight, John laughed for the very first time in his life. Meanwhile, the storm began to dissipate on th
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Just a guess, of course
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He battled on. Suddenly, a new character appeared in the game. A boy with penetrating blue-grey eyes was staring directly at Ethan as though he was peering into his very soul. Ethan was distracted, and the Sith Lord cleaved him at the waist with a sweeping lightsaber strike. He felt it, but it wasn't really painful. The game ended, and the room came back into focus. Ethan was thankful he wasn't hurt. The boy stood at the game room entrance, still staring at Ethan. Chapter 3 First Meeti
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That certainly is Mr. K's hope.
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Thanks for reading the story. The response to the second chapter is more encouraging then the first. I hope to publish a new chapter within the next two weeks. Appreciate the feedback on Ethan's parents. The creepiness wasn't intentional. I'll try to be more careful in the future developing the peripheral characters.
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Thank you for the review. It is really good to learn that you are enjoying the read.
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Thanks for the review. You definitely get it.
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The Party Ethan arrived a little late to the end-of-school party. His best friend Kobe was already comfortably moving with the flow of the party. There must have been fifty to eighty kids present. There seemed to be more boys than girls, but that made sense because it was Kobe's party, and most guys and girls were not dating seriously yet. Ethan and Kobe casually exchanged their personal hand checks. Kobe's dad, a huge LA Lakers fan, named him after Kobe Bryant. It was funny, but the n
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Thank you for the review. You have picked up on some the the themes of the story. In the next chapter John will be introduced to Ethan. Both John and Ethan will need to work through a few things. Thanks again.
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Preface "Once in every hundred years, they appear. Why they come and where they're from isn't clear, But they're here for our world." Howard Christman's Older (The Collectors, 1967) John is Born John Christman Anderson was conceived in the second decade of the 21st century. No one knew, but his conception occurred on a significant astronomical day. Three stars were perfectly aligned with a blue and a green planet in different galaxies. One of the stars was the Earth's su
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