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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 27 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 238
    March 27th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander, a Pannonian soldier, martyred in 3rd century. Amador of Portugal Augusta of Treviso Charles Henry Brent (Episcopal Church (USA)) Gelasius, Archbishop of Armagh John of Egypt Philetus Romulus of Nîmes, a Benedictine abbot, martyred c. 730. Rupert of Salzburg Zanitas and Lazarus of Persia March 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Armed Forces Day (Myanmar) Day of the Union of Bessarabia with Romania (Romania)[25] World Theatre Day (International)  
    Observances
    National Neighbor Day
    International Whisk(e)y Day
    Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
    World Theater Day
    British Summer Time Begins
    International Scribble Day
    Mothering Sunday in the U.K.
    National Joe Day
    Pretzel Sunday
    Quentin Tarantino's Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Spanish Paella Day
    March 27 is Spanish Paella Day. Celebrate this unofficial holiday by cooking this rice and saffron dish.

    Paella is a quintessentially Spanish rice dish that is thought to have originated in the Valencia region of Spain.
    Rice and Saffron
    The dish is typically made of rice, different kinds of beans, and meat. It is flavored with saffron, paprika, and other spices and herbs.
    Different Types
    At least two different versions of the dish exist. Seafood paella replaces the beans and the meat, which is usually chicken, rabbit, or snails, with seafood. Common seafood additions to the seafood paella are lobster, mussels, and shrimp. Mixed paella, on the other hand, includes both meat and seafood.
    Special Pan
    Paella is usually cooked over an open fire in a large shallow steel pan with two handles, also called paella. Tradition has it that diners must eat directly out of the pan.
    How to Celebrate?
    With some paella, of course! Whip up a batch at home or visit your local Spanish restaurant to enjoy this delicious rice dish. If you have always wanted to visit Spain, what better excuse to book your next vacation to the country and sample some local paella? Did You Know…
    …that the paella comes from the Latin word patella, meaning pan?
     
    ***
     
    Q. There's a one-story house where everything inside is pink: pink walls, pink doors, pink floors, pink ceilings, pink windows, pink curtains, pink chairs, and pink tables. What color are the stairs?
    A. There are none—it's a one-story house!
     
    ***
     
    Son: What's the difference between love and marriage?
    Father: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.
     
    ***
     
    A man boards a plane and is seated next to an Air Marshall and his ‘sniffing dog’.  Soon, the plane takes off and the Marshall says, “Sniffer, search.” The dog walks along the aisle, and stops next to a woman. He then returns to his seat and puts a paw on the Marshall’s arm.
    “Good boy,” says the Marshall.
    “What happened?” asks the man.
    “That woman is in possession of marijuana. We’ll arrest her when we land.”
    Once again, Sniffer searches the aisles. He stops beside a man, then returns to his seat, and places two paws on the Marshall’s arm. 
    “That man is carrying cocaine,” the Marshall explains.
    The dog walks up the aisle again, then races back, jumps into his seat, and poops all over it.
    “What’s going on?!” demands the man.
    The Marshall nervously replies, “He just found a bomb!”
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 26 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 237
    March 26th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Castulus Emmanuel and companions Felicitas Harriet Monsell (Church of England) Larissa Ludger Richard Allen (Episcopal Church (USA)) March 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day and National Day (Bangladesh), celebrates the declaration of independence from Pakistan in 1971. Martyr's Day or Day of Democracy (Mali) Prince Kūhiō Day (Hawaii, United States) Purple Day (Canada and United States) Synaxis of the Archangel Gabriel (Eastern Christianity)  
    Observances
     
    Good Hair Day
    National Spinach Day
    Earth Hour
    National Nougat Day
    Live Long and Prosper Day
    Nike Air Max Day
    Wear A Hat Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
    March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. It is a day to think up of a thing, person, animal, phrase, or food and create a holiday to celebrate it.

    The unofficial holiday honors all made-up holidays past, present, and future and encourages people to come up with creative, quirky, offbeat, important, and significant things to celebrate, observe, and commemorate.
    The holiday is also known as National Make up Your Own Holiday Day in the United States.
    Special Days
    A holiday is a special day during the year, when normal, day-to-day activities such as going to school or work or opening up businesses are temporarily interrupted. On these days, other activities such as visiting places of worship, preparing special meals, and decorating homes and places of businesses are encouraged.
    Unofficial and Official
    Holidays can be official or unofficial. Official holidays usually mean that they are sanctioned by the government. Everyone who observes the holiday usually gets the day off from work. Official holidays can be religious, like Christmas, Diwali, Yom Kippur, or Eid al-Fitr; or they can be national, like the country's independence or constitution day. Other official holidays, like New Year's Day or Labor Day, are secular holidays and can be celebrated by people of all religious faiths.
    Fun and Serious Holidays
    Unofficial holidays, on the other hand, are not sanctioned by the government. This means that people usually do not get a day off, nor do businesses or government offices close to celebrate or observe the holiday. Unofficial holidays can include national and global awareness holidays such as UN days, and fun holidays that celebrate trivial, unimportant, and fun things like food, movies, books, and television series.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make up your own holiday, of course! Create a holiday, spread the word and celebrate it when the day comes. If you want to make it official, you may have to talk to your local representative - only an official act of the legislature or government can make a holiday a national day. Did You Know...
    ...that the holiday comes from the Old English word haligdæg, meaning holy day?
     
    ***
     
    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army."

    "Baby," I answered, "I think the Air Force would be a better option for you."

    "But I don't want to be a pilot."

    "You don't have to be a pilot," I told her. "There are other jobs in the Air Force."

    Her answer: "I don't want to be a flight attendant either."
     
    ***
     
    Think it's easy being a tour guide? VisitBritain, a travel bureau, has compiled these tourist questions.

    "Is Wales closed during the winter?"

    "Why did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?"

    "Who feeds the Loch Ness monster?"

    "Are there any Sheena Easton museums in Glasgow?"
     
    ***
     
    10 Quotes About Springtime
    "Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party'""
    --Robin Williams


    "The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."
    --David Letterman


    "In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."
    --Margaret Atwood


    "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
    -- Josh Billings


    "Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into."
    -- Henry Ward Beecher


    "Gardens and flowers have a way of bringing people together, drawing them from their homes."
    -- Clare Ansberry


    "The earth laughs in flowers."
    -- e e cummings


    "At my age flowers scare me."
    -- George Burns


    "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
    -- Doug Larsen


    "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."
    -- H. L Mencken  
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 25 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 236
    March 25th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Arengo and the Feast of the Militants (San Marino) Christian feast days: March 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christian Saints' days Ælfwold II of Sherborne Barontius and Desiderius Blessed Marie-Alphonsine Danil Ghattas Omelyan Kovch (Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church) Dismas, the "Good Thief" Humbert of Maroilles Quirinus of Tegernsee Cultural Workers Day (Russia) Empress Menen's Birthday (Rastafari) EU Talent Day (European Union) Freedom Day (Belarus)[39] Independence Day, celebrates the start of Greek War of Independence from the Ottoman Empire, in 1821. (Greece) International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade (international)[40] International Day of Solidarity with Detained and Missing Staff Members (United Nations General Assembly)[40] International Day of the Unborn Child (international) Maryland Day (Maryland, United States) Medal of Honor Day (United States) Mother's Day (Slovenia) New Year's Day (Lady Day) in England, Wales, Ireland, and some of the future United States and Canada from 1155 through 1751, until the Calendar (New Style) Act 1750 moved it to 1 January (and adopted the Gregorian calendar. (The year 1751 began on 25 March; the year 1752 began on 1 January.) NZ Army Day Quarter day (first of four) in Ireland and England. Struggle for Human Rights Day (Slovakia)  
    Observances
    Pecan Day
    National Lobster Newburg Day
    National Dante Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Waffle Day
    Waffles have, as far as we know, three holidays in the year dedicated to them – On March 11, March 25, and August 24.

    This Waffle Day originated in Sweden.
    Swedish Mistake
    Known as Våffeldagen, legend has it that the holiday was mistakenly created due to a mispronunciation of Vårfrudagen. Vårfrudagen or Our Lady’s Day is a Christian holiday also known as Annunciation.
    Today, many countries around the world celebrate March 25 as Waffle Day.
    Originated in Europe
    Waffles are dough or batter cooked between two hot plates, usually made of iron. The dish is thought to have originated in Europe and is now enjoyed all around the world for breakfast, as a snack, or as dessert.
    Waffle Iron Patent Awarded
    In the United States, Waffle Day is celebrated on August 24. The unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1869 when the first waffle iron was patented.
    The healthier version, Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day, is celebrated on March 11.
    How to Celebrate?
    With waffles! Make them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Experiment with toppings – make savory waffles instead of sweet waffles. Try the American soul food version of fried chicken and waffles. Have a waffle party and have your family and friends bring their most innovative waffle dish. Did You Know...
    ...that Belgian Waffles were created and introduced to the world for the first time in the United States? Maurice Vermersch introduced them at the 1964 New York World's Fair as the Bel-Gem Waffle.
    ~~~~~~~
    Tolkien Reading  Day
    March 25 is Tolkien Reading Day. Celebrate the unofficial holiday by reading some of your favorite Tolkien books.

    Created in 2003 by the Tolkien Society, the unofficial holiday encourages people to read all of English author, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien’s (J.R.R Tolkien) works.
    Lord of the Rings
    Thought to be one of the world’s most read fantasy writers, J.R.R. Tolkien is best known for his Lord of the Rings (LOTR) trilogy. A sequel to Tolkien's other popular novel, The Hobbit, the LOTR trilogy is set in a fantasy land called the Middle-earth. Middle-earth is a continent on the fictional world called Arda.
    The One Ring
    The trilogy gets its name from the One Ring that the main villain in the books, Dark Lord Sauron, created to rule over the other Rings of Power. These rings - 3 for the Elves, 7 for Dwarves and 9 for Men - were created by Sauron or the elves under Sauron's guidance.
    Downfall of the Villain
    March 25 was chosen as the date for Tolkien Reading Day because it coincides with the date of the downfall of Sauron and Barad-dûr in the Lord of the Rings. Barad-dûr is the fictional tower from which Sauron rules Mordor. In the books, this happens on March 25, 3019 when the Ring falls into the Cracks of Doom.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read any of J.R.R. Tolkien's work. Attend public readings of his works organized by your local Tolkien fan organizations. Host a marathon viewing of the movies based on the books. Did You Know...
    ...that Tolkien was known to speak around 20 languages?
     
    ***
     
    Fact: We salesmen believe we can sell anything. But my confidence was put to the test recently in a hotel lobby. When the doors to the elevator opened, it was packed with women. I walked in, flashed a broad grin, and said, "Looks like tonight is my lucky night."

    "Don't count on it," said a voice in the back. "We're nuns."
     
    ***
     
    A guy suffering from a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief. The doctor prescribes pills. But after a week, the guy's still sick. So the doctor gives him a shot. But that doesn't help his condition either.

    "Okay, this is what I want you to do," says the doctor on the third visit. "Go home and take a hot bath. Then throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."

    "I'll get pneumonia!" protests the patient.

    "I know. That I can cure."
     
    ***
     
    A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"

    The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
     
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    Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home one evening to tell me he would be late. "Dirty magazines were discovered in the platoon quarters," he said, "and the whole squad is being disciplined."

    I launched into a tirade, arguing that Marines should not be penalized for something so trivial.

    My husband interrupted. "Honey, when I said ‘dirty magazines,’ I meant the clips from their rifles hadn’t been cleaned."
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 24 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 235
    March 24th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Catherine of Vadstena Hildelith of Barking Mac Cairthinn of Clogher Óscar Romero (Catholic Church, Anglican Communion, Lutheranism) Paul Couturier (Church of England) Walter Hilton (Church of England) March 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Remembrance for Truth and Justice (Argentina) International Day for the Right to the Truth Concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims[363][364] National Tree Planting Day (Uganda) Student Day (Scientology) World Tuberculosis Day (International)[365]  
    Observances
    Flatmate’s Day
    National Cheesesteak Day
    National Cocktail Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
    Celebrate the almost healthy, chewy, and chocolatey snack on March 24 or Chocolate Covered Raisin Day.

    Made by coating raisins with milk, dark, or white chocolate, chocolate covered raisins are a popular movie theater snack in the United States.
    Dried Grapes
    Raisins are dried grapes and are used in many parts of the world for cooking, baking, and as a snack. Usually sun dried, raisins have a high amount of sugar - almost 75% of their weight is sugar. They contain antioxidants, are high in fiber, and have a low glycemic index. They are also known to have blood pressure reducing properties.
    Can Be Healthy
    Chocolate is considered to be a health food, especially when it is not consumed with high amounts of sugar. Eaten in its purest form or with little sugar, chocolate can help reduce risks of stroke, heart disease, and blood pressure. It can also help boost mood and improve eyesight.
    Chocolate covered raisins are sometimes called Raisinets, after a popular brand of chocolate covered raisins.
    Chocolate Covered Holidays
    Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day and Chocolate Covered Anything Day are other holidays that celebrate chocolate covered snacks and food during the year.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make your own chocolate covered raisins. Share the snack with family and friends. Did You Know…
    …that the scientific name for the cacao tree, theobroma cacao, means the food of deities?
     
    ***
     
    My high-school basketball team was scheduled to play in the district tournament, and when we got there we were all excited to find our pictures and our stats published in the glossy program. My friend Brian Bird, a senior who was having a great season, eagerly searched for his name. But then he threw the program down in disgust, and I figured that there must be some error in his entry.

    Sure enough, his name appeared as "Bird, Brain."
     
    ***
     
    Desperate for a child, a couple asked their priest to pray for them. "I'm going on sabbatical to Rome," he replied. "I'll light a candle in St. Peter's for you."

    When the priest returned three years later, he found the wife pregnant, tending two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked to speak to her husband and congratulate him.

    "He's gone to Rome," came the harried reply, "to blow out that candle."
     
    ***
     
    Today in the markets, helium was up; feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. The market for raisins dried up. Coca-Cola fizzled. Balloon prices were inflated. And Scott Tissue reached a new bottom.
     
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    Two convicts are working on a chain gang. "I heard the warden's daughter up and married a guy down on cellblock D," the first con says to the other. "The warden's mighty upset about it too."

    "Why?" asks the second prisoner. "Because she married a con?"

    "No. Because they eloped."
     
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    An homage to the " Fifth Element"
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 23 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 233
    March 23rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Gregory the Illuminator (Episcopal Church) Gwinear Joseph Oriol Ottone Frangipane Rafqa Pietra Choboq Ar-Rayès (Maronite Church) Turibius of Mogrovejo Victorian, Frumentius and Companions March 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Hungarian-Polish Friendship (Hungary and Poland) Day of the Sea (Bolivia) Family Day (South Africa) Ministry of Environment and Natural Resources Day (Azerbaijan) Pakistan Day (Pakistan)[41] Promised Messiah Day (Ahmadiyya) World Meteorological Day[42]  
    Observances
    National Melba Toast Day
    National Chip and Dip Day
    Ravenclaw Pride Day
    Atheist Day
    World Maths Day
    National Chia Day
    National Tamale Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Puppy Day
    March 23 is Puppy Day, a day reserved for recognizing the joy and love that puppies bring to our lives.

    First celebrated in 2006, the unofficial holiday, which is also known as National Puppy Day in the United States, was created by Coleen Paige, an animal behaviorist. The day calls for people to adopt puppies and to work towards putting an end to puppy farms and mills.
    Inhumane Treatment
    Puppy mills are places where dogs are kept and bred for the sole purpose of selling them. Many mills operate under inhumane conditions and treat dogs only as breeding machines. Old or sick dogs, and those that are unable to give birth to puppies are often left loose on the streets to fend themselves or euthanized. Puppy Day shines a light on these conditions and encourages people to adopt their canine family members. By doing so, it reduces the financial incentives that keep puppy mills running.
    Celebrated Many Times a Year
    The deep bond between humans and their furry best friends is celebrated several times in a year. Unofficial annual holidays that are dedicated to the canines in our families include Dog Appreciation Day, Take Your Dog to Work Day, Work Like a Dog Day, and Hug Your Hound Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you already have puppies, give them an extra hug on this day and show them how much you love them. If you are thinking of adding one to your family, don’t dilly dally. Go to your nearest adoption center and adopt a puppy today. Don’t have a puppy or prefer to have kittens around? Don’t despair, you can spoil and pamper your furry feline on Hug Your Cat Day. Did You Know…
    ...that a dog’s nose print is as unique as a human’s fingerprint?
    ~~~~~~~
     Proposal Day
    March 23 is Near Miss Day, an annual reminder of the day in 1989 when an asteroid nearly collided with the Earth.

    The 300-meter wide asteroid called 4581 Asclepius flew past the Earth by a distance of about 450,000 miles (684,000 kms) and almost missed striking it by 6 hours. Experts estimate that if the asteroid had hit the Earth, the resulting collision would have released energy equal to about 1000 atom bombs!
    Discovered Days Later
    It is a good thing then that the asteroid wasn't discovered until March 31, 9 days after it had flown by the Earth. Named after the Greek god of medicine, Asclepius, was discovered by American astronomers Henry E. Holt and Norman G. Thomas.
    Nothing to Worry About
    Since 1989, several meteoroids and asteroids have buzzed past the Earth from a safe distance. Scientists and astronomers measure the probability of a celestial object colliding with the Earth on two different scales - the Torino Scale and the Palermo Technical Impact Hazard Scale. According to NASA, there are very few near-Earth objects that have the capacity to hit the Earth and create havoc in the near future.
    Space Rocks
    Asteroids are space rocks that are a by-product of the formation of the Solar System. Found mostly in the asteroid belt – the region between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter, these celestial objects contain minerals highly coveted by humans.
    How to Celebrate?
    This one's easy. Celebrate the day by celebrating life and all the second chances you have ever been given. Learn more about asteroids and other near-Earth objects. Did You Know...
    ...that asteroids may have killed the dinosaurs?
     
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    Just after my father, who was a career Air Force NCO, passed away, all my brothers and sisters returned home to be with Mom. As we reminisced about my dad, we found ourselves floating from sorrow to laughter as we brought up fond memories of our nomadic military lifestyle. One morning we were discussing what music should be played at the funeral and several hymns were suggested. "But, Mom," my older sister said, "since Daddy was in the Air Force, shouldn't we request the Air Force song?"
    "No, dear," my mother said with a smile. "We are not playing a song with the words 'Off we go into the wild blue yonder' at your father's funeral!"
     
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    When the Second Division set up shop in South Korea, it did so with its slogan proudly displayed at the front gate: "Second to None." A few months later, a South Korean base opened two miles down the road.
    The sign greeting visitors read "You are now entering the famed sector of the South Korean ROK Division, better known as 'The None Division.' "
     
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    Who says companies only care about the bottom line? Ours is socially conscious and offers employees fun outdoor activities throughout the complex.
    Both of these admirable elements were driven home one day when a voice over the loudspeaker boomed "Everyone who signed up to donate blood, please report to the rifle range!"
     
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    Spanish never came easily to my sister. Still, she did her best to communicate with the Spanish-speaking staff at the restaurant she managed. But when she made mistakes—and she made a lot—she'd apologize by saying, "Me estúpido."
    Finally, a staffer took pity on her. "Susanna, you're not estúpido," she said, bucking up my sister's ego. "You are a woman," she continued. "So you are estúpida."
     
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    Primordial Pouch (Cat Belly Flap) in Cats - Cat-World
     
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    How an "underwater waterfall" came to exist on Mauritius - Big Think
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 22 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 234
    March 22nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Bihar Day (Bihar, India)[60] Christian feast day: Basil of Ancyra Blessed Clemens August Graf von Galen Darerca of Ireland Epaphroditus Jonathan Edwards (Lutheranism) Lea of Rome Nicholas Owen Paul of Narbonne March 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Easter Sunday can fall (last in 1818, will not happen again until 2285), while April 25 is the latest. (Christianity) Emancipation Day or Día de la Abolición de la Esclavitud (Puerto Rico) World Water Day (International)[61]  
    Observances
    Gryffindor Pride Day
    As Young As You Feel Day
    Bavarian Crepes Day
    Daffodil Day
    National Ag Day
    American Diabetes Association Alert Day
     
    Fun Observances
      International Goof Off Day
    March 22 is International Goof Off Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to take the day to relax and do unproductive and useless things.

    Goofing off or to goof off is an expression popularly used in the United States.
    Neglecting Work
    The expression refers to the act of doing something that is unproductive while neglecting actual, important work. A goof off is a person who engages in such acts and ignores his or her duties and tasks.
    Careless Mistake
    The word goof can be used to refers to a careless mistake as well as someone who makes them.
    International Goof Off Day is also known as National Goof Off Day in the United States.
    Other goofy holidays include Fun at Work Day, Work Naked Day, and Wear Pajamas to Work Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Goof the whole day off. Don't do anything that is productive or important. Spend the day online or even better switch off your computer and all your mobile devices and goof off in the outdoors. Did You Know…
    …that the world's most famous goofy comic character, Goofy was originally known as Dippy Dawg?
     
    ***
     
    'If I were to die first, would you remarry?" the wife asks.

    "Well," says the husband, "I'm in good health, so why not?"

    "Would she live in my house?"

    "It's all paid up, so yes."

    "Would she drive my car?"

    "It's new, so yes."

    "Would she use my golf clubs?"

    "No. She's left-handed."
     
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    Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long-suffering wife. "I want to take all my money with me," he tells her. "So promise me you'll put it in the casket."

    After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small metal box inside.

    Her friend looks at her in horror. "Surely," she says, "you didn't put the money in there."

    "I did promise him I would," the widow answers. "So I got it all together, deposited every penny in my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."
     
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    Interviewing a college applicant, the dean of admissions asks, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

    The student thinks it over, then answers, "The living one."
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 21 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 232
    March 21st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (Portugal) Birth of Benito Juárez, a Fiestas Patrias (Mexico) Christian feast day: Benedetta Cambiagio Frassinello Passing of Saint Benedict (Order of Saint Benedict, pre-1970 Calendar) Birillus Enda of Aran Nicholas of Flüe Serapion of Thmuis Thomas Cranmer (Anglicanism) March 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Education Freedom Day Harmony Day (Australia) Human Rights Day (South Africa) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Namibia from South African mandate in 1990 International Colour Day (International) International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination (International)[34] International Day of Forests (International), by proclamation of the United Nations General Assembly Mother's Day (most of the Arab world) National Tree Planting Day (Lesotho) Newroz (Iran, Kurdistan, Mesopotamia) Oltenia Day (Romania)[35] Rosie the Riveter Day (United States)[36] Truant's Day (Poland, Faroe Islands) Vernal equinox related observances (see March 20) World Down Syndrome Day (International)[34] World Poetry Day (International)[34] World Puppetry Day (International)[34] Youth Day (Tunisia)  
    Observances
    World Vermouth Day
    National Healthy Fats Day
    Slytherin Pride Day
    International Fragrance Day
    National Memory Day
    National Single Parent Day
    National French Bread Day
    National Crunchy Taco Day
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Mar 21st, 2022 - Sun Mar 27th, 2022
     
    National Introverts Week
     
    Fun Observances
     Common Courtesy Day
    March 21 is Common Courtesy Day, a day to practice common courtesy.

    The day is a reminder that our treatment of others speaks volumes about our character and our moral fiber.
    Culturally Dependent
    Common courtesy refers to basic practices and behaviors that are considered to be acceptable and appropriate in a given social and cultural setting. Because of this, it is possible that what is considered common courtesy in one society, may be considered rude and unacceptable in another.
    Thank You Is Universal
    Some common courtesies are still considered to be universal. These include: saying please and thank you when asking for a favor, maintaining hygiene standards, not making rude or obscene gestures, and respecting elders.
    In most societies, not only is a person judged by their behavior towards other people, he or she is also treated the same way as they treat others. In this way, the practice of common courtesy creates a tight-knit group, where every member follows the same practices and treats each other in the same way.
    Evolutionary Behavior
    Researchers have suggested that this need for group members to follow similar social and interpersonal etiquette serves an evolutionary purpose. People from other tribes and groups who follow different behavioral rules can be easily identified and denied in-group benefits.
    What Goes Around...
    People who are kind and polite tend to find themselves being treated in kind and with more friends and admirers. The bottom-line is: it pays to follow common courtesies. What goes around, comes around.
    How to Celebrate?
    While most people practice common courtesy every day, take this day to assess how you interact with others and perhaps change your behavior. Start with simple things like saying please and thank you and sorry when appropriate. Thank people who are courteous to you and appreciate them. Did You Know...
    ...that the term curtsey, meaning to bow down in front of someone as an act of respect, originated in the late 1600s in England?
     
    ***
     
    A motorist was driving in the country when he came upon a priest and a rabbi standing on the shoulder of the road, fishing. Next to them was a sign that read "Turn Around. The End Is Near."
    The motorist didn't like to be preached to, so he rolled down the window and yelled, "Mind your own business, you religious nuts!"
    A few seconds later the two fishermen heard tires screech, then a splash.
    The rabbi turned to the priest and said, "I told you we should've just written, 'Bridge Out.' "
     
    ***
     
    If you arrest a mime, do you still have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
     
    ***
     
    Three vampires walk into a bar. "What can I get ya?" asks the bartender.

    "Blood," orders the first vampire.

    "Make it two," says the second.

    The bartender looks at the third. "What about you, buddy?"

    "Plasma," says the vampire.

    "Okay," replies the barman. "Let me make sure I've got this straight. Two bloods and a blood light."
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 20 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 231
    March 20th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexandra Blessed John of Parma Clement of Ireland Cuthbert of Lindisfarne Herbert of Derwentwater John of Nepomuk Józef Bilczewski María Josefa Sancho de Guerra Martin of Braga Michele Carcano Wulfram March 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date for the vernal equinox in the Northern hemisphere: Baháʼí Naw-Rúz, started at sunset on March 20. The end of the 19-day sunrise-to-sunset fast. (Baháʼí Faith) Chunfen (China) Earth Equinox Day International Astrology Day New Year (Thelema) Nowruz (Persian, Gilaki, Kurdish, Zoroastrians, and other Iranian people and countries with an Iranian influence) Ostara in the northern hemisphere, Mabon in the southern hemisphere. (Neo-Druidic Wheel of the Year) Shunbun no Hi (Japan) Sun-Earth Day (United States) Vernal Equinox Day/Kōreisai (Japan) Earliest day on which Good Friday can fall, while April 23 is the latest; celebrated on Friday before Easter. (Christianity) Great American Meatout (United States) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Tunisia from France in 1956. International Day of Happiness (United Nations)[21] International Francophonie Day (Organisation internationale de la Francophonie), and its related observances: UN French Language Day (United Nations)[21] National Native HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (United States) World Sparrow Day  
    Observances
    National Kiss Your Fiance Day
    Hufflepuff Pride Day
    Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day
    National Ravioli Day
    National Snowman Burning Day
    National Macaron Day
    Great British Spring Clean Day
    World Oral Health Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    World Storytelling Day
    World Storytelling Day is celebrated globally every year on the March Equinox.

    The unofficial holiday celebrates the tradition of oral storytelling and encourages participants to tell and listen to stories from different cultures and in different languages.
    Started in Sweden
    Story Telling Day wasn’t always celebrated globally. The first such day was observed in Sweden in the early 1990s and was called Alla Berättares Dag, or All Narrators Day. Soon storytellers around the world picked up the holiday and it has now become a global “celebration of oral storytelling.” Each celebration since 2004 has a theme associated with it, including strong women, dreams, neighbors, water, and monsters and dragons.
    People can tap into historical and cultural stories and spread them globally or make up their own new stories.
    Celebration of Spring
    The March Equinox is known as the Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere and the Autumn Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere. The day is considered by astronomers and people in many cultures in the Northern Hemisphere as the first day of spring.
    How to Celebrate?
    Participate in your local storytelling event. If there is none near you, maybe organize your own event? Have an older person tell you a story from their childhood. Encourage the children in your life to tell stories. Did You Know...
    ...that according to the Guinness Book of Records, A La Recherche du Temps Perdu by Marcel Proust is the longest novel ever written? First published in 1913, this 7 volume novel has a total of 9,609,000 characters.
    ~~~~~~~
     Proposal Day
    March 20 is Proposal Day, a day to pop the question and ask your significant other to marry you.

    The unofficial holiday encourages people to propose marriage to their significant others.
    Rings as a Symbol of Engagement
    In many cultures, a proposal for marriage is accompanied by an engagement ring. The ring is usually worn by the female partner for the time between the acceptance of the proposal and the wedding ceremony.
    Breaking Tradition
    Traditionally, it is the male partner who makes the proposal, but there are some countries where the woman can propose marriage to her sweetheart on a Leap Day. These days, however, these traditions are no longer set in stone and women as well as men can propose marriage to their significant others.
    A similar holiday, Propose Day, is sometimes celebrated on the day after Valentine’s Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have a significant other who you would like to settle down with, take the plunge and ask them to marry you. If you don’t have a significant other yet, today is the day to start looking for one. Did You Know...
    ...that the ancient Romans were the first people who wore engagement rings as a way to signify that a person was no longer available for marriage?
     
    ***
     
    I was a percussion major when I was in college, and during a rehearsal of the student orchestra, my section kept making mistakes.
    "When you're too dumb to play anything," the professor conducting us sneered, "they give you a couple of sticks, put you in the back and call you a percussionist."
    A friend next to me whispered, "And if you're too dumb to hang on to both sticks, they put you in the front and call you a conductor."
     
    ***
     
    As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: "After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power, the landing gear failed to deploy and no braking was available. I bounced over the stone wall at the end of the runway, struck the trailer of a truck while crossing the perimeter road, crashed through the guardrail, grazed a large pine tree, ran over a tractor parked in the adjacent field, and hit another tree. Then I lost control."
     
    ***
     
    Officer candidate school at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, was tough. During an inspection, a fellow soldier received 30 demerits for a single penny found within his area. Ten demerits were for "valuables insecure," ten because the penny wasn't shined, and ten because Abraham Lincoln needed a shave.
     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 19 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 230
    March 19th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Observances: Alkmund of Derby Saint Joseph (Western Christianity; if this date falls on Sunday, the feast is moved to Monday March 20) St Joseph's Day (Roman Catholicism and Anglican Communion) related observances: Falles, celebrated on the week leading to March 19 (Valencia) Father's Day (Spain, Portugal, Italy, Honduras, and Bolivia) "Return of the Swallow", annual observance of the swallows' return to Mission San Juan Capistrano in California March 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Maundy Thursday can fall, while April 22 is the latest; celebrated on Thursday before Easter (Christianity) Minna Canth's Birthday and the Day of Equality (Finland) Kashubian Unity Day (Poland)  
    Observances
    National Quilting Day
    National Poultry Day
    National Chocolate Caramel Day
    National Corn Dog Day
    International Client’s Day
    International Read To Me Day
    Certified Nurses Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Let's Laugh Day
    Let’s Laugh Day is celebrated every year on March 19. It is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to laugh and enjoy the benefits of laughter.

    Studies have suggested that laughter can help people relax and reduce stress. Laughing and being joyful can also have health and social benefits.
    Many Health Benefits
    Medical studies have shown a few minutes of laughter can reduce blood pressure, increase immunity response of the body, and boost heart rate. Watching or reading something humorous before sleep can also help people sleep better and longer.
    Laughing can even burn calories. Research has shown that 10-15 minutes of laughing can burn up to 50 calories.
    Friendly People
    People who laugh often are seen by their peers as happy and friendly. As a result, they tend to have more friends and are easily accepted as a part of different social groups.
    How to Celebrate?
    Here are some ways you can celebrate this happy “howl”iday:
    Laugh out loud for a few minutes. Spend some time reading jokes and funny stories. Watch a funny movie. Attend a stand-up comedy show. Did You Know…
    …that children laugh more than adults? An average toddler laughs about 400 times a day, while an average adult tends to laugh about 15-20 times a day.
     
    ***
     
    Danny was hard to miss at our school. A Civil War buff who forever wore his Confederate overcoat, he was a friend to all. When he was passed over during the vote for senior superlatives, many of us were disappointed; surely there must have been some category suitable for him.

    The whole school was pleased, therefore, when the yearbook adviser surprised us with an additional photo. There was Danny, decked out in his gray coat, with the caption: "Most Likely to Secede."
     
    ***
     
    A Harley rider eating in a restaurant is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her. "I am so embarrassed," the woman says. "Please join me for dinner."

    They enjoy a wonderful meal together and afterwards she invites him to the theater, followed by drinks. She pays for everything. Then she asks him to her place for a nightcap, and to stay for breakfast.

    The next morning the guy is amazed. "Are you this nice to every biker you meet?" he asks.

    "Not usually," she replies. "But you just happened to catch my eye."
     
    ***
     
    One of my friends is in charge of the part-time help hired by an old-age home run by an order of nuns. She confided to the mother superior, a feisty little nun of 70, that she always felt uncomfortable giving the young girls the obligatory lecture about the need to be careful around certain of the older male patients.

    The mother superior volunteered to give it for her, and eventually reduced my friend's 30 minutes of embarrassed rambling to a one-liner that has now become famous around the place. "Girls," she announced. "Just remember—old ain't dead."    
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 18 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 229
    March 18th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Oil Expropriation (Mexico) Christian feast day: Alexander of Jerusalem Anselm of Lucca Cyril of Jerusalem Edward the Martyr Fridianus Salvator March 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Flag Day (Aruba) Gallipoli Memorial Day (Turkey) Men's and Soldiers' Day (Mongolia) National Day in Remembrance of COVID-19 Victims (Italy)[24] Ordnance Factories' Day (India) Sheelah's Day (Ireland, Canada, Australia)[25] Teacher's Day (Syria)  
    Observances
    World Sleep Day
    Companies That Care Day
    Forgive Mom & Dad Day
    National Biodiesel Day
    Red Nose Day
    Global Recycling Day
    Holi
    National Lacy Oatmeal Cookie Day
    National Sloppy Joe Day
    National Supreme Sacrifice Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Awkward Momrnts Day
    On March 18, or Awkward Moments Day, celebrate (or forget) those awkward and embarrassing moments in our lives that may have made us want to hide.

    It may not be a coincidence that it falls the day after St. Patrick's Day, a day often associated in many parts of the world with alcohol and partying.
    The Day After
    While the purpose or origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, it could be that the day was created to take stock of all the awkward moments after a few (or many) pints of Guinness drunk in celebration of the Irish cultural holiday.
    Funny Stories
    It could also be that the anonymous founders of the day wanted people to embrace all the awkward moments in their lives and laugh at them. After all, it is these moments that make the best stories and life lessons for the kids and the grandkids.
    How to Celebrate?
    We have all had awkward moments, but today is the day to laugh at them and to recognize that it is these moments that make for a memorable life. Share an awkward moment in your life with your family and friends in person or on a social media website. You can all laugh, and you may find out that you are not the only one with such awkward experiences. Did You Know…
    …that the first known use of the word embarrassed in the English language can be traced back to the diary of British parliamentarian Samuel Pepys in 1664?
     
    ***
     
    Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress—only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe—a can of spray paint with a false bottom—so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.

    "Oh, yes," she replied, "he put his money in it the same day."

    "No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!" I gloated.

    "They won't have to," my mom replied. "He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer."
     
    ***
     
    Sixteen years is a long time. That's how far the photo of my husband—looking slim and fit in his Marine Reserve uniform—goes back. Today, he's about 100 pounds heavier, so it was understandable when my friend's son asked who it was.
    "That's my father," my daughter told him.
    Looking at my husband, then at the photo, he asked, "Your first father?"
     
    ***
     
    A man was having a bad day and happened to rear-end the vehicle in front of him. Out jumped a dwarf, with arms akimbo, who proclaimed, "I'm NOT happy!!" 
    To which the man replied, "Well, which one are you, then?"
     
    ***
     
    Whenever my family leaves the house, our Shetland sheepdog's animal instincts start to kick in.
    He runs circles around us and nips at our heels to keep us all together.
    Watching this display, my friend couldn't resist: "You always herd the ones you love."
     
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    " YUP "
     
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    " ME TOO "
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 17 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 228
    March 17th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (Bangladesh) Christian feast day: Alexius of Rome (Eastern Church) Gertrude of Nivelles John Sarkander Joseph of Arimathea (Western Church) Patrick of Ireland March 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Evacuation Day (Suffolk County, Massachusetts) Saint Patrick's Day, a public holiday in Ireland, Montserrat and the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador, widely celebrated in the English-speaking world and to a lesser degree in other parts of the world.  
    Observances
    National Close the Gap Day
    National Corned Beef and Cabbage Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Absolutely Incredible Kid Day
    Honor all the incredible kids in your life on Absolutely Incredible Kids Day, a holiday celebrated every year on the third Thursday in March.

    The day inspires and encourages kids to do amazing things by letting them know how incredible they are.
    Let Them Know
    Created by Camp Fire, a multicultural and non-sectarian youth development organization, the unofficial holiday encourages parents and guardians to acknowledge and reward their children's achievements.
    Boosts Self-Esteem
    Researchers agree that encouragement from parents and family members can raise a young person's self-esteem and can help them become more responsible. Psychologists also warn that parents should not praise traits that the child cannot change. Instead, parents should reserve praise for efforts in areas that are in the control of the child, such as decision-making skills, behavior towards other people and animals, responsibility, and attitude.
    How to Celebrate?
    Camp Fire encourages people to send letters of encouragement to kids to let them know how important they are. Inspire the children in your life by telling them that they are awesome and that they can do incredible things. Did You Know...
    …that the trampoline and the earmuffs were invented by children?
    ~~~~~~~
     Submarine Day
    March 17 is Submarine Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the technological advances that make the use of the watercraft possible.

    It is thought that the unofficial holiday commemorates the date in 1898 when Irish engineer John Philip Holland showed his submarine design to the U.S. Navy.
    Modern Submarine
    Called the Holland Type VI submarine, his prototype was the first modern submarine design to work successfully underwater. His submarines became the first vessels to be bought by the United States Navy and the British Royal Navy.
    A similar holiday is celebrated on April 17 in the US as a way to honor the anniversary of the establishment of the U.S. Submarine Force in 1900.
    Military Purposes
    Submarines have primarily been used for offensive military purposes throughout the 20th century. During World War I and World War II, they were used to sink enemy ships. In the present day, while submarines are still used by the military, they are increasingly being put to use for civilian benefits. Their ability to go deep underwater have made it possible for scientists to research marine life and sea beds. They are also sometimes used for underwater tourism.
    Most present-day military submarines run using nuclear power, though, in many parts of the world, diesel-electric submarines are also in common use.
    Submarine the Sandwich
    In many parts of the United States, a submarine is a type of sandwich. Usually made with a long roll of bread and filled with meats, vegetables, and spreads, this popular lunch dish is also called by other names like hero, hoagie, grinder, and sub. It is thought that the sandwich was named submarine because it resembles the shape of the underwater vessel.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the art and science of submarines. Celebrate the day by consuming as many sub sandwiches as you can. Watch movies that feature submarines. Did You Know...
    ...that the first known submarine was created in 1620 by Cornelius Drebbel?
    Cornelis Drebbel - Wikipedia
     
    ***
     
    While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than (>) and a less-than (<) sign on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?"
    A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"
     
    ***
     
    After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. I also asked for a special meal and assistance in changing planes.

    My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely.

    "Why, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother be needing a rental car?"
     
    ***
     
    My husband and I had been trying to have a third child for a while. Unfortunately, the day I was to take a home pregnancy test, he was called out of town on business. I had told our young daughters about the test, and they were excited. We decided if it was positive, we would buy a baby outfit to surprise their father when he got home. The three of us stood in the bathroom eagerly waiting for the telltale line to appear.

    When it did not, my thoughtful seven-year-old gave me a hug. "It's okay, Mom," she said. "The next time Daddy goes out of town, you can try and get pregnant again."
     
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    The Outrageous Length Of A Woodpecker's Tongue Reveals It To Be For Much More Than Taste Alone
     
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 16 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread CRumnbs 227
    March 16th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abbán[173] Finian Lobhar (Finian the Leper) Heribert of Cologne[174] Hilarius of Aquileia Julian of Antioch March 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Book Smugglers (Lithuania)[175] Remembrance day of the Latvian legionnaires (Latvia) Saint Urho's Day (Finnish Americans and Finnish Canadians)  
    Observances
    National Lips Appreciation Day
    National Panda Day
    National No Selfies Day
    National Freedom Of Information Day
    Purim
    Fast of Esther
    National Artichoke Day
    National Vaccination Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Every Thing You Do is Right Day
    Because every bad day is followed by a good day, March 16 is Everything You Do is Right Day.

    Everything You Do is Right Day is the opposite of Everything You Think is Wrong day, which is possibly one of the most dispiriting made-up holidays out there.
    Positivity
    It is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to believe that no matter what happened before today, everything they do on this day will turn out great.
    We all need positive reinforcements from time to time and what better way to bring positivity in our lives by celebrating this reaffirming holiday?
    How to Celebrate?
    Remember, everything you do today is the right thing to do. The bottom line is, do whatever makes you happy. Start the day right - with a healthy breakfast. It has long been known that a good breakfast not only has health benefits but can help people concentrate better on their work during the day. Spend time with happy, positive people. Psychologists and self-help pundits all agree that a person is as happy as the least happiest person around them. So, surrounding yourself with cheerful people means that some of their positivity will rub off on to you. Need to de-stress? Take this day to give yourself a much-needed pampering. Go to the spa, spend some time at the yoga studio, or just park yourself on the couch with a huge tub of ice cream and marathon your favorite show. If you know of someone who is having a bad day, brighten up their day and pay it forward. Did You Know...
    ...that ethics is a branch of philosophy that distinguishes between right and wrong?
     
    ***
     
    Following months of marijuana drug busts, the DEA took the contraband into a remote region to burn. The fire was blazing brightly when an agent noticed that a flock of terns was flying around the area. Concerned about the effects of the smoke on the birds, they called the National Audubon Society.

    Their worst fears were confirmed. There was not one tern left unstoned.
     
    ***
     
    The New York-New Jersey Trail Conference was preparing to move from its longtime home in New York City to Mahwah, N.J. The day before the big move, the following sign appeared on the door:

    "Here today, gone to Mahwah."
     
    ***
     
    Stuck in rush-hour traffic, I couldn't help but stare when a burly biker wearing black leather jacket and chaps pulled up next to me on a shocking pink Harley Davidson. My first thoughts were, "Is that really a pink Harley? I wonder if he's…" Just then the traffic cleared and he pulled in front of me. On the back of his helmet were stenciled the words "Yes it is. No I'm not."
     
    ***


    In a lecture to a group of Korean officers, Lieut. Gen. Bruce C. Clarke, at that time deputy commander of the Eighth Army in Korea, took two or three minutes to tell his favorite joke. His interpreter then quickly translated the joke, using only seven or eight words. Everyone immediately burst into hearty laughter. After the lecture General Clarke asked the interpreter how he had been able to retell such a relatively long joke so quickly.

    "Well, sir," the Korean interpreter replied, "I didn't think everyone would get the point, so I said, 'The general has just told a joke. Everyone will please laugh.'"
     
    ***
     
    Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

    Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
     
    ***
     
    A young man asked for a job with the circus, any job at all. The manager decided to give him a chance to become an assistant lion tamer and took him to the practice cage.

    The head lion tamer, a beautiful young woman, was just starting her rehearsal. Entering the cage, she removed her cape with a flourish and, standing in a gorgeous costume, motioned to a lion. Obediently the lion crept towards her and then rolled over twice.

    "Well," said the manager to the young man, "do you think you can learn to do that?"

    "I'm sure I could," he replied, "but first you'll have to get that lion out of there."
     
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    (I think I am at 10X)
     
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    ( No, it wasn't me! )
    The Lonely Tree of Ténéré • Damn Interesting
     
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    The Whisper of the Stars | Overlord In Terms of Core Issues Around Maximal Engagement with Key Notions of the Über-Feral
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 15 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 226
    March 15th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aristobulus of Britannia (Roman Catholic Church)[82] Clement Mary Hofbauer[69] Leocritia[83] Saint Longinus[84] Louise de Marillac[85] March 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Belarus)[86] National Day, celebrating the Hungarian Revolution of 1848 (Hungary)[87] World Consumer Rights Day (International)[88] Youth Day (Palau)[89]  
    Observances
    World Speech Day
    True Confessions Day
    Buzzards Day
    National Brutus Day
    National Napping Day
    Ides of March
    Dumbstruck Day
    International Day Against Police Brutality
    National Pears Helene Day
    National Shoe The World Day
    World Consumer Rights Day
    World Contact Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Everything You Think is Wrong Day
    March 15 is Everything You Think is Wrong Day.

    The unofficial holiday is a gentle reminder that we are all imperfect. It prompts us to accept that there are a lot of things we are wrong about and encourages us to spend some time correcting them.
    A Lot to Learn
    The world around us is complex. There are things that we don't know and there are things that we think are right, but are in fact wrong. These things could range from something as simple as a piece of trivia or something more complicated like our attitude towards others or our moral outlook.
    Everything You Think is Wrong Day is the perfect day to acknowledge that not everything you know or do is right and that you have a lot to learn about things around you.
    Not a Sign of Weakness
    However daunting and scary it may seem, accepting one's mistake should not be considered a sign of weakness. Studies have shown that people who accept their mistakes and treated with more respect than those who are hesitant to take responsibility for their actions. In fact, it is widely accepted that admitting mistakes and ignorance and making an attempt to fix things is the mark of a creative and successful person.
    Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
    While it is good practice to admit when one's wrong, it is also important to know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. The bottom line is this: making mistakes is not the problem, not taking responsibility or making an effort to fix things is.
    And don't worry, if feeling like all you know is wrong becomes too overwhelming, there is hope yet - March 16 is in the Everything You Do is Right Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Think over things that you think are wrong and spend some time correcting them. If you are ever told that something you have done or thought you know is wrong, be brave and let them know that you are willing to learn and fix your mistake. Not only will you gain the respect of your peers and loved ones, you will learn something new. Did You Know…
    …that wrong is also a legal concept? Legally, a wrong is an injury committed by one person on the person or property of another.
     
    ***
     
    Some of my co-workers and I decided to remove the small, wooden suggestion box from our office because it had received so few entries. We stuck the box on top of a seven-foot-high metal storage cabinet and then promptly forgot about it. Months later, when the box was moved during remodeling, we found a single slip of paper inside. The suggestion read, "Lower the box!"
     
    ***
     
    I was waiting to board a plane in Houston when a flight attendant stopped a woman in front of me to question her about the number of carry-on bags she had. The woman vehemently defended herself, claiming the extra bag was really her purse. It was the size of a large briefcase, but she insisted that it shouldn't count as a carry-on item. The flight attendant finally let the woman pass.

    As the next man stepped up, the flight attendant's gaze settled on his bags. Immediately, he held up his briefcase and exclaimed, "This is my wallet."
     
    ***
     
    Nancy was Catholic, but her fiancé, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting the priest turned to Chris and told him, "Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist."

    Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked what was wrong. "I don't understand," he said. "How can we have the ceremony without me?"
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 14 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 225
    March 14th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Leobinus[251] Matilda of Ringelheim[252] March 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Andorra)[253] Heroes' Day (Saint Vincent and the Grenadines)[254] Mother Tongue Day (Estonia)[255] Nanakshahi New Year, first day of the month of Chet (Sikhism)[256] Pi Day[257] Summer Day (Albania)[258] White Day on which men give gifts to women; complementary to Valentine's Day (Japan and other Asian nations)[259]  
    Observances
    National Learn About Butterflies Day
    Fill Our Staplers Day
    Crowdfunding Day
    Science Education Day
    Moth-er Day
    Legal Assistance Day
    National Potato Chip Day
    International Ask a Question Day
    Dribble to Work Day
    Canberra Day
    Commonwealth Day in Canada
    Eight Hours Day
    International Day of Action For Rivers
    International Day of Mathematics
    National Write Your Story Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Napping Day
    Napping Day is an unofficial holiday that falls on the Monday after DST begins in the United States.

    The day was created as a way to compensate for the hour people lose because of the time change. But this is one holiday that most people can get behind.
    Short Period of Sleep
    A nap is a short period of sleep usually taken during the day. Studies have shown that one or more short naps during the day can help increase productivity and alertness. It is believed that many successful people in history napped often. Some of these people were Einstein, Winston Churchill, and Napoleon.
    Many Short Naps a Day
    Many animals are polyphasic sleepers. This means that they take multiple naps during the day. Until the invention of electricity and affordable artificial lighting, humans slept in at least two long stretches during the night. They first slept for about 4 hours, called first sleep. They then woke up for a few hours during which they smoked, visited their friends, and ran other errands. They would then go back to sleep for what is now called the second sleep. This pattern of sleeping went out of fashion by the 17th century, as more and more people began to afford ways to artificially light up their homes after dark and in the early mornings.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take a short nap. If your country does not observe DST, then follow the DST and Napping day schedule of another country. Why lose out on a holiday just because your country doesn’t have DST? Did You Know…
    …that a NASA study among pilots and astronauts found that short naps can increase performance by 34% and alertness by 54%?
    ~~~~~~~
     Pi Day
    March 14 is Pi Day. It is a day to celebrate the mathematical constant pi (π) and to eat lots of pie.

     
    It is celebrated in countries that follow the month/day (m/dd) date format, because the digits in the date, March 14 or 3/14, are the first three digits of π (3.14). Pi Day was founded by Physicist Larry Shaw in 1988.
    Pi Approximation Day
    Because everyone should be able to enjoy a fun mathematical holiday, people in countries that follow the day/month (dd/m) date format honor pi on Pi Approximation Day. The date of Pi Approximation Day - July 22 - when written in the day/month format or 22/7 corresponds to the fraction (22/7) that pi is usually depicted as.
    There are many other days during the year when one can honor pi. Some of these are:
    March 4: The day marks the passing of 14% of the 3rd month of the year. April 5: By this day, 3.14 months of the year have passed. November 10: The 314th day of the year (November 9 in leap years). An Irrational Number
    One of the oldest and the most recognized mathematical constant in the world, Pi (π) is the ratio of any circle’s circumference to its diameter. Its value is approximately equal to 3.14159265. It is an irrational number, which means it cannot be expressed as a ratio of whole numbers, and its decimal representation never ends or repeats.
    In recent years, mathematicians have called for replacing pi by tau (τ) as a way to describe the relationship between a circle’s circumference and its radius. In order to spread the word about the advantages of tau over pi, mathematicians around the world celebrate Tau Day on June 28.
    Other Mathematical Dates
    The Gregorian Calendar is full of dates that when written in a special manner represent a mathematical or scientific concept. Some of these include: Yellow Pig Day, Mole Day, Fibonacci Day, Palindrome Day, and e-Day. Use our Date Pattern Calculator to find out other interesting calendar dates during the year.
    How to Celebrate?
    Pi is a homophone of pie - the 2 words are pronounced similarly but are spelled differently and mean different things. Celebrate Pi Day by having lots and lots of pie. Have a pie baking contest. Ask participants to bake pi shaped pies. Combine it with a pie-eating competition. Have a pi recitation contest. Anyone who can recite the most digits of the constant gets to take home a pie. Embrace your geekness. Wear a t-shirt that has the numbers of pi on it or sport some pi shaped accessories. Earrings perhaps? Eat foods that start with a pi, like pineapples and pizza, or foods that are circular in shape, like pancakes and cookies. Watch the 1998 Darren Aronofsky movie, Pi. Did You Know
    ...that pi is represented by the lower case Greek letter, π, because it is the first letter of the Greek word περίμετρος, meaning perimeter?
     
    ***
     
    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly." After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll die?"

    "Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on 'Fear Factor.' "
     
    ***
     
    Driving with my two young boys to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. But at the grave site I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought.

    In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom, what's in the box?"
     
    ***
     
    PULL. If that doesn't work, PUSH. If that doesn't work, we're closed. Come again.
     
    ***
     
    A livestock truck overturned in my town, and the accident made the local news. The young reporter who covered the story declared on camera, "Two cows, Black and Gus, escaped into nearby woods."

    At the studio there was muffled laughter as they cut to a commercial. After the break, the reporter sheepishly added, "About that overturned truck—make those Black Angus cattle."
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 13 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 224
    March 13th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Ansovinus[237] Gerald of Mayo[238] James Theodore Holly (Episcopal Church (USA))[239] Nicephorus[240] Roderick[237] March 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Kasuga Matsuri (Kasuga Grand Shrine, Nara, Japan)[241] National Elephant Day (Thailand)[242] Africa Scout Day[243]  
    Observances
    Ken Day
    National Dry Shampoo Day
    National Coconut Torte Day
    National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day
    National Earmuff Day
    Smart & Sexy Day
    Check Your Batteries Day
    National K9 Veterans Day
    National Good Samaritan Day
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Mar 13th, 2022 - Sat Mar 19th, 2022
     
    Universal Women’s Week
    Sleep Awareness Week
    Pulmonary Rehabilitation Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Jewel Day
    Celebrate all things shiny, blingy, and sparkly on March 13, or Jewel Day.

    Jewel is a term used to refer to gemstones - precious or semi-precious and natural or man-made - and for ornaments made from these gemstones. The word comes from the Medieval Latin word jocale meaning plaything or pastime.
    Coveted Throughout Human History
    Jewels and ornaments have been used by humans for functional and decorative purposes throughout history. In many societies in the past and present, jewelry is worn as a way of reflecting one's status in society.
    The origins of this unofficial holiday, which is also known as National Jewel Day in the United States, are unknown.
    How to Celebrate?
    Buy yourself that piece of jewelry that you have been eyeing forever. Exchange handmade jewelry with your friends. Use this day to take care of your jewels. Learn more about jewels from different cultures and historical time periods. Listen to the music of Jewel, the American singer-songwriter. Did You Know…
    …that the word diamond comes from the Greek word for invincible? Fitting, since diamond is one of the hardest substances known to man.
     
    ***
     
    Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in New York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

    Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

    Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

    The $1.50 was returned without delay.
     
    ***
     
    While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

    "Yes," I answered, and continued writing the report.

    "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"

    "Yes, that's right," I told her.

    "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
     
    ***
     
    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped their clerical garb for polos and khakis and time on the golf course. After several horrible shots, their caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"

    "Actually, yes," one cleric replied. "Why?"

    "Because," said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and heard such clean language."
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 12 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 223
    March 12th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (China)[346] Arbor Day (Taiwan)[347] Aztec New Year[348] Christian feast day: Alphege[349] Bernard of Carinola (or of Capua)[350] Gorgonius, Peter Cubicularius and Dorotheus of Nicomedia[351] Mura (McFeredach)[352] Fina[351] Maximilian of Tebessa[351] Paul Aurelian[353] Pope Gregory I (Eastern Orthodox Church, Eastern Catholic Church, and Anglican Communion)[354] Theophanes the Confessor[355] March 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) National Day (Mauritius)[356] World Day Against Cyber Censorship[357] Youth Day (Zambia)[358]  
    Observances
    National Girl Scout Day
    National Genealogy Day
    International Fanny Pack Day
    National Baked Scallops Day
    National Plant a Flower Day
    Aztec New Year
     
    Fun Observances
     Alfred Hitchcock Day
    March 12 is National Alfred Hitchcock Day, a day to celebrate the life, times, and work of master filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock.

    It is not known why this date was chosen to commemorate Hitchcock, since it does not correspond to his birthday or the day he died.
    A Long Career
    Alfred Hitchcock's prolific film-making career spanned over half a century - he began making movies in 1921 and made his last film, Family Plot, in 1976. His unique cinematic style in the genre of psychological thrillers and suspense movies earned him the title of Master of Suspense.
    In addition to making movies, Hitchcock created and hosted a television series called Alfred Hitchcock Presents.
    How to Celebrate
    Gather your friends and do a Hitchcock movie marathon. Some of his more famous movies include Psycho, Vertigo, and The Birds. One of the unique things about Hitchcock's movies is that he played a cameo role in most of them. So, while watching doing a Hitchcock movie marathon, play the spot-Hitchcock’s-cameo game. Whoever spots the most cameos wins. Host an Alfred Hitchcock-themed party. Decorate your venue with birds related props. Serve your guests pecan pie (from Marnie), Moroccan tagine (from The Man Who Knew Too Much), and Chicken (from Notorious). Screen Murder Party, an episode from Alfred Hitchcock Presents for your guests. Did You Know…
    …that Alfred Hitchcock never won an Oscar in the Best Director category?
     
    ***
     
    In Nevada, my husband and I attended the wedding of a man and woman of different faiths. A Protestant minister and a Catholic priest performed an ecumenical marriage ceremony. In unison they proclaimed the couple husband and wife.

    Afterward, a man was overheard congratulating the father of the bride. “Fifty years ago this could not have happened.”

    “No,” replied the father. “Religion has come a long way.”

    “Religion! Who’s talking about religion? I mean a cattleman’s daughter marrying a sheepman’s son.”
     
    ***
     
    Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful on the application, and he began filling out his paperwork. But when he got to the question "Do you own any foreign property or have any foreign financial interests?" he looked up at me with a worried expression.   "Well," he confessed, "I do own a Toyota."   We enlisted him the next day.   ***
     
    After practicing law for several months, I was talking with my brother, John, a doctor. "My work is so exciting," I said. "People come into my office, tell me their problems and pay me for my advice."

    As older brothers will, John took the upper hand. "You know," he said, "in my work, people come into my office, tell me their problems, take off all their clothes and then pay me for my advice."
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 11 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 222
    March 11th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alberta of Agen[216] Constantine[217] Óengus of Tallaght[218] Sophronius of Jerusalem[219] Vindicianus[220] Day of Restoration of Independence from the Soviet Union in 1990 (Lithuania)[221] Moshoeshoe Day (Lesotho)[222]  
    Observances
    National Middle Name Pride Day
    World Plumbing Day
    National Wash Your Nose Day
    National No Smoking Day
    National No-Code Day
    National Promposal Day
    311 Day
    National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day
    Worship of Tools Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day
    March 11 is Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day. It is a day to treat yourself to not just waffles, but the healthier version of the popular breakfast food.

    Oatmeal nut waffles are made by adding quick cooking oats and different types of nuts to the regular waffle batter of flour, eggs, and butter. They can be eaten the same way as waffles - as is or with different toppings like fruit, yogurt, whipped cream, or jelly or jam.
    Wholesome and Nutritious
    Oatmeal nut waffles not only easy to make, but are also more wholesome and nutritious than regular waffles due to the addition of oats and nuts.
    Oats are cereal grains that are high in proteins, minerals, and fiber. Studies have shown that regular consumption of oats can reduce bad cholesterol and lower the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and certain types of cancers.
    Medieval Origins
    Now enjoyed by people around the world as a dessert or breakfast dish, waffles are thought to have originated in Europe during the Middle Ages. The original waffles were made for religious purposes, usually from some form of grain and water, and frequently depicted religious symbols and patterns.
    Waffle Day
    Waffles are celebrated on two other days during the year - March 25 and August 24. The August 24 Waffle Day commemorates the day in 1869 when the first waffle iron was patented in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    With lots of oatmeal nut waffles! Add an assortment of nuts - pecans, cashews, almonds, and walnuts. What about adding some raisins or dates to the mix? Experiment with toppings. Make savory oatmeal nut waffles instead of sweet waffles. Serve the waffles with cream cheese, sour cream, or vegetables. Did You Know...
    ...that in North America, the word waffle can also mean to change one's mind frequently? In the United Kingdom, it is usually used to refer to conversations about trivial matters.
     
    ***
     
    A man left Chicago for a vacation in Key West. His wife was on a business trip and planned to fly down to meet him the next day. When the man arrived in Florida, he e-mailed his wife to let her know he had arrived, but mistyped her address.

    Instead, his message went to the inbox of a woman whose husband had just passed away. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she read the message, screamed, and passed out cold.

    The woman's daughter rushed into the room and found this note on the computer screen. "My darling wife: Just checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to being with you again. Your loving husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here!"
     
    ***
     
    Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Our computer's down," said St. Peter. "You'll have to go back for a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?"

    The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

    "So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest.

    The second priest thought for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week count?"

    "No," said St. Peter.

    "Well," the priest said, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

    "So be it," said St. Peter. A week later, the computer was fixed, and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" he asked.

    "The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove more difficult."

    "Why?" asked the Lord.

    "He's on a snow tire somewhere in northern Ontario," said St. Peter.
     
    ***
     
    Jake, Johnny, and Billy died and went to heaven. "Welcome," St. Peter said. "You'll be very happy here if you just obey our rule: Never step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, they all start quacking and it makes a terrible racket."

    That sounded simple enough until they passed through the Pearly Gates and found thousands of ducks everywhere. Jake stepped on one right away. The ducks quacked, making an unholy racket, and St. Peter came up to Jake bringing with him a ferocious-looking Amazon woman.

    "I warned you if you broke the rule you'd be punished," St. Peter said. Then he chained the Amazon woman to Jake for eternity.

    Several hours later, Johnny stepped on a duck. The duck quacked, they all quacked, and St. Peter stepped up to Johnny with an angry-looking, shrewish woman. "As your punishment," St. Peter told Johnny, "you'll be chained to this woman for eternity."

    Billy was extremely careful not to step on a duck. Several months went by. Then St. Peter came up to him with a gorgeous blonde and chained her to Billy, uniting them for all time. "Wow!" exclaimed Billy. "I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

    "I don't know about you," said the beautiful woman, "but I stepped on a duck."
     
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    sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 10 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 221
    March 10th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day Attala[226] Harriet Tubman (Lutheran)[227] John Ogilvie[228] Macarius of Jerusalem[229] Marie-Eugénie de Jésus[190] Pope Simplicius[171] Sojourner Truth (Lutheran)[227] March 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Harriet Tubman Day (United States of America)[230] Holocaust Remembrance Day (Bulgaria)[231] Mario Day (Globally)[232][233] Men's Day (Poland)[234] National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (United States)[235] Székely Freedom Day (Romania)[236] Tibetan Uprising Day (Tibetan independence movement)[28]  
    Observances
    National Pack Your Lunch Day
    International Wig Day
    International Bagpipe Day
    National Blueberry Popover Day
    Name Tag Day
    National Skirt Day
    World Kidney Day
    International Day Of Awesomeness
    Histotechnology Professionals Day
    National Landline Telephone Day
    National Ranch Day
    Paper Money Day
    Popcorn Lover's Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Mario Day
    March 10 is Mario Day, a day to celebrate the main character of the popular Nintendo video game franchise, Super Mario.

    March 10 was chosen by fans of the game as the date for this holiday because March 10 when abbreviated and written without a space between the month and date – Mar10 – looks like the word Mario.
    Fictional Italian Plumber
    The Super Mario video games follows the adventures of Italian plumber Mario and his brother Luigi while they try to rescue Princess Peach from the evil Bowser. Princess Peach is the princess of the fictional Mushroom Kingdom in which the game is set.
    Best-Selling Game
    Considered to be the best-selling video game of all time and one of the most recognizable video game characters in the world, Mario was created by Shigeru Miyamoto. Since his first appearance in the 1981 Nintendo game, Donkey Kong as Jumpman, Mario has featured in over 200 video games, and several television shows and comics.
    How to Celebrate?
    Spend the day playing the iconic game. Have a super Mario themed party. Serve star shaped cookies , mushroom shaped cupcakes, and chocolate coins. And if you are brave enough, why not dress up like Mario for the day? Did You Know…
    …that when Mario made his first gaming appearance as Jumpman, he was not a plumber but a carpenter?
     
    ***
     
    As an attorney in a major New Mexico law firm, I have many colleagues who work long hours. However, the reputation of one of my partners' workaholic ways even extended beyond the office. He not only had to leave work early one day because of a medical problem, but was also told by his doctor to stay home until the end of the week. My colleague grudgingly agreed to comply.

    In the middle of the week, our receptionist received a call for him. She announced that the partner was out of the office until Friday. "Good," the caller said. "That's all I wanted to know."

    It was my partner's doctor.
     
    ***
     
    When I walked into a small café in rural Minnesota, I had no trouble distinguishing the nonsmoking area from the smoking area. There before me were two neatly printed signs: "Coffee Corner" and "Coughy Corner."
     
    ***
     
    One day at the office of the orthopedic specialist I work for, we had to make arrangements for an elderly patient with spinal arthritis to have a special injection. We said we would phone him with the information.

    Two days later, the patient called us, concerned that he had missed our call because of his poor hearing. "I can barely hear, barely see and barely walk," he told me.

    Then he added cheerfully, "Things could be worse, though. At least I can still drive."
     
    ***
     

    The Beagle Didn't Die
     
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    Star Trek: Every Role Played by Clint Howard, From TOS to Discovery
    Clint Howard - Wikipedia
     
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    sandrewn
    B.T.W. Did you know that Clint Howard is Ron Howard's brother!!!
  19. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 09 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 220
    March 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Catherine of Bologna[250] Forty Martyrs of Sebaste[251] Frances of Rome[252] Pacian[253] Pope Cyril VI of Alexandria (Coptic Orthodox Church)[254] Gregory of Nyssa (Episcopal Church (United States))[255] March 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Teachers' Day or Eid Al Moalim (Lebanon)[256]  
    Observances
    National Meatball Day
    National Barbie Day
    National Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Day
    National Crab Meat Day
    National False Teeth Day
    National Get Over It Day
    Panic Day
    Amerigo Vespucci Day
    Learn What Your Name Means Day
    National No Smoking Day
     
    ***
     
    As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy. While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and lick his lips. "You must really like this new flavor," I said.

    "Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction. "It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox."
     
    ***
     
    I think my wife's going deaf," Joe told their doctor.

    "Try to test her hearing at home and let me know how severe her problem is before you bring her in for treatment," the doctor said.

    So that evening, when his wife was preparing dinner, Joe stood 15 feet behind her and said, "What's for dinner, honey?"

    No response.

    He moved to ten feet behind her and asked again.

    No response.

    Then he stood five feet in back of her and tried again but still got no answer. Finally, he stood directly behind her and asked, "Honey, what's for supper?"

    She turned around. "For the fourth time—I said chicken!"
     
    ***
     
    Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. Bob suggests they go in.
    Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. He explains they're about to get married, and asks, "Do you sell heart medication?"
    "Of course we do," the pharmacist replies.
    "Medicine for rheumatism?"
    "Definitely," he says.
    "How about Viagra?"
    "Of course."
    "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
    "Yes, the works."
    "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?"
     "Absolutely."
    "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
    "All speeds and sizes."
    "Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."
     
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    ( R. I. P. )
     
     
    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 08 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 219
    March 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Edward King (Church of England)[204] Felix of Burgundy[205] John of God[39] Philemon the actor[206] March 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Women's Day,[207] and its related observances: International Women's Collaboration Brew Day[208]  
    Observances
    National Peanut Cluster Day
    National Organize Your Home Office Day
    National Proofreading Day
    Unique Names Day
    Be Nasty Day
    Commonwealth Day
    National Oregon Day
     
    Fun Observances
      Proofreading Day
    March 8 is Proofreading Day. The day promotes error-free communication and encourages everyone to spend some time updating and expanding his or her proofreading skills.

    Proofreading is a careful examination and reading of any written text to spot spelling, grammatical, stylistic, and punctuation errors before its publication.
    Proofreading or Copy Editing
    While often confused with copy editing, proofreading does not usually include editorial revision. Unlike copy editors, who may receive copies or versions of the text throughout the writing or editing process, proofreaders only get to the see the final proof right before publication.
    The job of the proofreader is to go carefully through documents and spot formatting and typography errors in the text. In contrast to a copy editor, who can fine-tune the text themselves after spotting errors, a proofreader is expected to send the text back to the writer or the editor for making corrections.
    Proofreading and Technology
    In recent years, with the emergence of word processing and typesetting software, the proofreading profession has undergone a sea change. Today, proofreaders do not need to use old-fashioned symbols to indicate errors - they can highlight errors right within the electronic text. New proofreading software has also cut down the time a proofreader needs to spend on a text.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate Proofreading Day by combing through all your writings carefully and spotting mistakes and correcting them. It is only human to make mistakes, but it is also human to correct them. Find ways to enhance your communication – proofread your emails and even phone texts and SMSs. Spend some time learning the tools of effective and efficient proofreading. Did You Know…
    …that a 1631 reprint of the King James Bible was called the Wicked Bible because of a proofreading error? The commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery” was mistakenly printed as “Thou shalt commit adultery.”
     
    ***
     
    When my wife was about to have our first baby, we brought a tape recorder to the delivery ward to capture the sounds of the birth, the baby's first cry and our doctor's voice saying, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" We intended to use the tape as a fun message on our answering machine to help announce the birth to friends and relatives.

    My wife's labor went relatively smoothly and, when it seemed appropriate, I inserted the blank tape and began recording. Shortly thereafter, our baby was born and we all heard the first cry.
    The doctor held up the baby and, with tape rolling, loudly proclaimed, "Wow, will you look at the scrotum on him!"
     
    ***
     
    My son is an avid listener to our city’s police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, I heard the dispatcher say, “Car 34, there is a five-foot boa constrictor in a front yard. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it.”

    There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, “We can’t get the car started.”
     
    ***
     
    According to the Internet: The inscription on the metal bands used by the U. S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as “Wash. Biol. Surv.”—until the agency received the following letter from an unhappy camper: “Dear Sirs: While camping last week, I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to tell you it tasted horrible.”

    The bands are now marked “Fish & Wildlife Service.”
     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 07 Mar 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 218
    March 7th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed José Olallo Blessed Leonid Feodorov (Russian Greek Catholic Church) Perpetua and Felicity Pierre-Henri Dorie, Siméon-François Berneux (part of The Korean Martyrs) March 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Liberation of Sulaymaniyah (Iraqi Kurdistan) Teacher's Day (Albania)  
    Observances
    National Be Heard Day
    Fun Facts About Names Day
    Plant Power Day
    National Crown Roast of Pork Day
    National Cereal Day
    Cyprus Green Monday
    National Flapjack Day
    National Heroes and Benefactors Day
    Sock Monkey Day
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Mar 7th, 2022 - Sun Mar 13th, 2022
    Feet Week
    Butchers’ Week
    British Pie Week
    Mon Mar 7th, 2022 - Fri Mar 11th, 2022
    School Breakfast Week
     
    Fun Observances
     Alexander Graham Bell Day
    Alexander Graham Bell Day is celebrated every year on March 7.

    The unofficial holiday recognizes the day in 1876 when Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for the technology that would later become the telephone and changed the world of communications.
    Patent Date
    On March 7, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for “transmitting vocal or other sounds telegraphically.” Three days later, on March 10, Bell uttered the famous words "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you" into a transmitter. His assistant, Thomas Watson, who was in the next room, heard the words clearly and thus, the first telephone was created.
    In commemoration of the day he was granted the patent, Bell’s fans around the world celebrate March 7 as Alexander Graham Bell Day. It is a day recognized by an official act of the legislature in Nova Scotia, Canada.
    Prolific Inventor
    In addition to the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell is also credited with being the inventor of the metal detector and he is known for developing the Hydrodome, a watercraft that set a world marine speed record in 1919.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the science and technology behind the telephone and the cell phone. Visit your local telecommunications museum. Every time you call a friend or text someone send a silent thank you to Bell. Without him, we would still be using pigeons to send messages. Did You Know…
    …that Bell was one of the founding members of the National Geographic Society?
     
    ***
     
    Carol was pregnant with her first child, and her husband was about to leave on a two-week business trip. When Carol went to her doctor appointment, she had some questions.

    "My husband wants me to ask you something—" Carol began.

    The doctor interrupted her. "I get asked that question all the time," he said in a reassuring tone. "Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

    "No, that's not it!" an embarrassed Carol confessed. "My husband wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
     
    ***
     
    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful—we never felt hungry!

    But when we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There, in fine print, was "Serves 6."
     
    ***
     
    I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats while on vacation. One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and after playing with him and replenishing his food and water, I put him back in. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see the feline at my feet, since the cage doors lock automatically when they’re shut.
    I couldn’t figure out how the cat escaped, until I bent down to pick him up and spied his nametag: “Houdini.”
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 27 Feb 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 210
    February 27th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows George Herbert (Anglicanism) Honorina Leander February 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The second day of Ayyám-i-Há (Baháʼí Faith) (Note: this observance is only on this date in the Gregorian calendar if Baháʼí Naw-Rúz takes place on March 21, which it does not in all years) Doctors' Day (Vietnam) Independence Day (Dominican Republic), celebrates the first independence of Dominican Republic from Haiti in 1844. Majuba Day (some Afrikaners in South Africa) Marathi Language Day (Maharashtra, India) World NGO Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Pokemon Day
    National Kahlua Day
    National Strawberry Day
    National Protein day
    Anosmia Awareness Day
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun Feb 27th, 2022 - Sat Mar 5th, 2022 Cornish Pasty Week
    Peace Corps Week
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    International Polar Bear Day
     
    International Polar Bear Day on February 27 is an unofficial holiday created by Polar Bear International (PBI). It raises awareness of the impact of global warming on Polar Bears.

    Polar Bear International is a group run by conservationists, scientists, and volunteers working to educate the public about the effects of climate change on the Arctic region. More specifically, they focus on how global warming is slowly destroying the habitat of polar bears and adversely affecting their population.
    Reduced Food Source
    Despite being the largest carnivores on land, polar bears largely rely on seals for food. Shorter ice seasons and melting sea ice mean seals, who rely on ice to raise their young, are becoming scarcer. This is leaving polar bears without a ready source of food. Lack of food is also forcing polar bears to venture into areas populated by humans, making them vulnerable to attacks from residents and hunters.
    Vulnerable to Diseases
    Rising temperatures, loss of weight, and lack of nutrition due to lack of food has also meant that polar bears are now becoming vulnerable to previously unknown diseases.
    Scientists believe all of these factors have caused a severe decline in polar bear populations, and if the trend continues global warming could potentially lead to the extinction of the species.
    Effects of Human Activity
    Human activity, including the burning of fossil fuels and deforestation, is considered by scientists as the primary cause of global warming.
    The goal of International Polar Bear Day is to bring light to this fact, and to encourage people around the world to help find solutions to the problem of climate change.
    How to Observe?
    Fixing global warming might seem like a daunting task for an individual, but it doesn't have to be. Use this day to find ways to reduce your carbon footprint and help raise awareness about the importance of polar bears in our ecology, and the effects of global warming on their survival.
    To reduce your carbon footprint, consider taking the following steps:
    Walk, bike, take public transport, or carpool to work. Avoid using a vehicle that runs on fossil fuel as much as you can. Reduce plastic usage and waste by carrying your reusable shopping bags to the stores. Plant trees in your backyard if you have space or join a local tree planting drive. Learn more about polar bears, their habitat, habits, and life cycle. Raise funds or volunteer your time for an organization that works to reduce global warming. Did You Know…
    … that polar bears are black and not white? Their fur is transparent while their skin is black. The transparent fur reflects sunlight such that it looks white to human eyes.
     
    ~~~~~~~
    No Brainer Day
    February 27 is No Brainer Day. It is believed that the holiday was created by Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith in the United States as a way to remind people that most things are simple and that many problems we encounter daily have obvious and easy solutions.

    The made-up holiday, which is also sometimes known as International No Brainer Day, also allows people to stop over analyzing things, second-guessing themselves, and to relax and take it easy.
    Very Little Thought
    The holiday gets its name from the English language phrase no brainer, which refers to decisions or choices that require very little effort and thought.
    How to Celebrate?
    That’s a no brainer of course! Take this day to relax your brain and stop yourself from over analyzing problems. Leave that for another day. Did You Know…
    …that in a study conducted at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, neuroscientists found that the human brain could process images that had been flashed before the person for as little as 13 milliseconds?
     
    ***
     
    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a Saturday night, I was finishing up the dinner shift at one restaurant and hurrying to report to work at the second place. But I was delayed because one table kept sending back an order of hash browns, insisting they were too cold. I replaced them several times, but still the customers were dissatisfied.

    When I was able to leave, I raced out the door and arrived at my second job. A server immediately handed me my first order. "Make sure these hash browns are hot," she said, "because these people just left a restaurant down the street that kept serving them cold ones."
     
    ***
     
    The generation gap proved glaringly obvious at the mail-order music company where my wife works as a customer service representative. Some college students, who were working part-time inputting customer information, wrote the following notes regarding some golden oldies:
    "Customer is looking for two song titles:
    'Shovel Off Two Buffaloes' and 'Honey, Suck a Rose.' "
     
    ***
     
    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-school them. With a raised eyebrow he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said no, I also work—out of our home. Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.

    "He was born at home," I answered.

    The man looked at me, then said, "Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"
     
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    Pre - Covid
     
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 26 Feb 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 209
    February 26th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander of Alexandria Emily Malbone Morgan (Episcopal Church (USA)) Isabelle of France Li Tim-Oi (Anglican Church of Canada) Porphyry of Gaza February 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Remembrance for Victims of Khojaly Massacre (Azerbaijan) Liberation Day (Kuwait) Saviours' Day (Nation of Islam)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Levi Strauss Day
    National Personal Chef Day
    National Carpe Diem Day
    Open That Bottle Night
    For Pete’s Sake Day
    Letter to an Elder Day
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat Feb 26th, 2022 - Sun Mar 6th, 2022 Jewish Book Week
     
    Fun Observances ( 3 )
    Pistachio Day
    Archeologists believe that pistachios were used as food as early as 6000 BCE. Celebrate this ancient and healthy nut on February 26, Pistachio Day.

    Also known as National Pistachio Day or World Pistachio Day, this unofficial holiday encourages people to add pistachios to their daily diets and take advantage of their health benefits.
    Happy Nut
    Called the happy nut in China and the smiling nut in Iran, pistachios are native to the Middle East and Central Asia.
    Food historians believe that the pistachio tree reached Greece along with Alexander the Great's army. Traders introduced the nut to the rest of the European continent, where it was initially used as an expensive addition to food and baked goods.
    Dyed Red to Hide Flaws
    In the United States, the nut was introduced by Middle Eastern immigrants during the late 19th century. Even though, the country now produces most of the world's pistachio crops, along with Iran, Turkey and Syria, the nut wasn't grown commercially there until the mid 20th century.
    In the initial days of their commercial productions, pistachio shells were dyed red or green by the growers. This was to hide the marks and dents made on the shell during harvesting. Today, with mechanical harvesting procedures, there is no reason to dye the shells anymore.
    Full of Nutrients
    Pistachios are a rich source of proteins, fiber, and vitamin B. Research indicates that adding the nut to one's daily diet may reduce the risk of heart disease.
    The nut is used in many cuisines around the world. In the Middle East, it is one of the main ingredients in many types of sweets including baklava and halva. In Italy, it is used to make spumoni and pistachio gelato – the Italian versions of ice cream.
    How to Celebrate?
    Add pistachios to every meal of the day. Start with adding it to your breakfast cereal, substitute peanut butter with pistachio butter for your lunch sandwich, have a pistachio crusted pork chop for dinner and finish the day off with a scoop or two of pistachio ice cream or pistachio cake. Did You Know…
    …that the Jylgyndy Forest Reserve in Kyrgyzstan was created to conserve the pistachio plant?
    ~~~~~~~
    Tell a Fairy Tale Day
    Tell a Fairy Tale Day is on February 26. The unofficial holiday encourages celebrators to read, tell, and listen to fairy tales from around the world.

    Fairy tales are a genre of literature that features fantastical and magical characters. Usually in the form of short stories with fairies, elves, trolls, and witches as central characters, fairy tales are set in a magical world with events that take place "once upon a time."
    Oral Tradition
    A form of folk tales, fairy tales have a strong oral and written tradition all around the world - with cultures adopting whole or parts of tales from other cultures.
    Before the 17th century, fairy tales often had themes unsuitable for children and were written mostly for adults.
    Children's Genre
    Today, fairy tales are considered to be a genre of children's literature and the term fairy tale is used to refer to happy events and happenings, such as a fairy tale romance or a fairy tale ending.
    The holiday is also known as National Tell a Fairy Tale Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Set your imagination free on this very fantastical holiday and re-read all your favorite fairy tales. If you have children in your lives, why not introduce them to some of the world's most famous fairy tales? Bring out your inner writer and pen down a fairy tale. Who knows, you could be the next Hans Christian Andersen! Watch movies based on fairy tales. Host a fairy tale party. Instruct your guests to come as their favorite fairy tale character, decorate the venue as if you were in an enchanted land of fairy tales and serve foods from all your favorite fairy tale stories. Some ideas include caramel apples (Snow White), pea salad (The Princess and the Pea), pumpkin soup (Cinderella) and porridge or rice pudding (Goldilocks and the Three Bears). Did You Know…
    … that at least 500 versions of Cinderella have been found around the world?
    ~~~~~~~
     World Sword Swallowers Day
    If you enjoy seeing people do dangerous things, you will enjoy celebrating World Sword Swallowers Day on the last Saturday of February.

    This unofficial holiday was created by the Sword Swallowers Association International (SSAI) in 2008. It celebrates the ancient art of sword swallowing and honors those who practice it.
    16 Inches Long
    The day also attempts to dispel myths about sword swallowing and to bring international attention to the medical and scientific contribution of sword swallowers.
    According to SSAI, sword swallowing is the act of passing a sword or solid blade at least 16 inches long through the mouth into the stomach. Contrary to popular belief, sword swallowing is not a magic trick or an illusion, but a real skill that requires a lot of hard work and practice.
    How to Celebrate?
    Find a sword swallowing event nearby and go watch them. Learn about the art and science behind sword swallowing. Did You Know…
    …that the art of sword swallowing is an ancient art that is thought to have originated in the southern part of India?
     
    ***
     
    One morning a customer entered my flower shop and ordered a bouquet for his wife. "No card is necessary," he instructed us. "She'll know who sent them."

    The delivery truck hadn't even returned to the store when the phone rang. It was the customer's wife. "Who sent the flowers?" she asked.

    After explaining that the customer had requested that no card be included, I considered the matter closed—but not so. A bit later, she came rushing in the front door. "You've got to tell me who sent the flowers," she demanded, "before my husband gets home."
     
    ***
     
    Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it needed a new combination lock, my partner said he would pick one up on his way to work the next day. It occurred to me later that I might not see him in the morning. How would I find out the combination? I needn't have worried. When I arrived at work I found that he had used the locker before me and had left a note reading:
    "To find the first number subtract 142 from your high score the last time we went bowling.
    The second number is 16 less than that.
    To find the third number subtract 1.87 from the amount you owe me."
     
    ***
     
    Faculty members at Texas Christian university were urged to become familiar with the timesaving machines of the new computer center. Basic courses in their use were given, and research projects were accelerated.

    The faculty was enthusiastic—except for one veteran professor. Not only did he flunk the primer course, but on his first project, when he asked the machine simply to separate the names of students by sex, the cards came out in three stacks.
     
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    Grammatical Pedantry Syndrome: Signs That You're Suffering From GPS
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 25 Feb 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 208
    February 25th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Æthelberht of Kent[196][197] Blessed Ciriaco María Sancha y Hervás[198] Gerland of Agrigento[199] John Roberts, writer and missionary[200] (Anglican Communion) Blessed Maria Adeodata Pisani[201] Saint Walpurga (she was canonised on 1 May c. 870 and Walpurgis Night is celebrated 30 April)[202] February 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Kitano Baika-sai or "Plum Blossom Festival" (Kitano Tenman-gu Shrine, Kyoto, Japan)[203] Memorial Day for the Victims of the Communist Dictatorships (Hungary)[204] National Day (Kuwait)[205] People Power Day (Philippines)[206] Revolution Day in Suriname[207] Soviet Occupation Day (Georgia)[208]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Chocolate Covered Nut Day
    Carnival of Brazil
    National New England Clam Chowder Day
    National Skip the Straw Day
    Pistol Patent Day
    Yukon Heritage Day
     
    ***
     
    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.

    The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally he asked, "Those your kids?"

    "They sure are," I said with pride.

    "They adopted?"

    "Yes," I replied.

    "I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small."
     
    ***
     
    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. The buyer converted it to a tavern. One day an elderly man was walking by the place with his grandson and pointed to the building.

    "That's where I went to school when I was your age."

    "Really," said the boy. "Who was your bartender back then?"
     
    ***
     
    It was the first day of basketball practice at Wingate high school in Brooklyn, N.Y. Coach Jack Kaminer handed a ball to each player. "Fellas," he said, "I want you to practice shooting from the spots you might expect to be in during the game."

    The No. 12 sub immediately sat down on the bench and began arcing the ball toward the basket.
     
    ***
     
    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to her, "There’s my husband." Then I added, "The thin one—not the fat one."
    After a slightly uncomfortable silence she replied, "And that’s my husband—the fat one."  
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 24 Feb 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 207
    February 24th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Ascensión Nicol y Goñi Lindel Tsen and Paul Sasaki (Anglican Church of Canada) Modest (bishop of Trier) Sergius of Cappadocia February 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Dragobete (Romania) Engineer's Day (Iran) Flag Day in Mexico Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Estonia from the Russian Empire in 1918; the Soviet period is considered to have been an illegal annexation. National Artist Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
     
    National Toast Day
    International I Hate Coriander Day
    Fat Thursday
    World Bartender Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Tortilla Chip Day
    Honor the tortilla chip – the carrier of delicious dips – on February 24, Tortilla Chip Day.

    Tortilla chips were first popularized as a way to reuse misshapen tortillas by Rebecca Webb Carranza whose family owned the Los Angeles-based El Zarape Tortilla Factory in the 1940s.
    Served With Dip
    Today tortilla chips accompanied by some form of a dip is now a staple party dish.
    Usually made of fried yellow corn tortillas, tortilla chips can be served with dips like salsa, guacamole, or spicy guacamole. It can be incorporated in a more elaborate dish with cheese and sour cream such as nachos.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have tortilla chips for all your meals today - have tortilla chip cereal for breakfast, crush them into your salad at lunch, and have nachos for dinner. Try making your own tortilla chips at home. Did You Know…
    …that tortilla chips and salsa are the state snack of Texas?
     
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    The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight.

    "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously, "and you look just like my dad."
     
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    While on the freeway in Los Angeles, I was behind a pack of cars. The last driver was on the phone and drifting all over the road. This did not escape the attention of a California Highway Patrol officer, who snuck up behind her and said over his loudspeaker, "If you can't stay in your lane while on the phone, pull over until the call is completed."

    Immediately eight cars pulled over.
     
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    My husband and I, married 13 years, were dressing for a party. I'd spent all day getting a haircut and permanent, then as we were leaving, we met in the hall and he said nothing.
    I complained that he had not even noticed my hair. "You used to pay attention to every little thing, and now you don't notice anything! You take me for granted!"
    My husband stood there rubbing his face as he let me rant and rave. Then it hit me: He'd shaved off his six-month-old beard.
     
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    sandrewn
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