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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 29 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 271
    April 29th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Catherine of Siena (Catholic, Lutheran and Anglican Church) Endelienta Hugh of Cluny Robert of Molesme Torpes of Pisa April 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Remembrance for all Victims of Chemical Warfare (United Nations) International Dance Day (UNESCO) Shōwa Day, traditionally the start of the Golden Week holiday period, which is April 29 and May 3–5. (Japan)  
    Observances
    National Hairball Awareness Day
    We Jump The World Day
    World Wish Day
    National Arbor Day
    National Peace Rose Day
    National Shrimp Scampi Day
    Ray Gantt
     
    Fun Observances
    Zipper Day
    On April 29, celebrate the zipper it because it is Zipper Day.

    We all tend to take for granted most things around us. The humble zipper that is holding up your pants, skirt, or dress right now is one of those things.
    Swedish-American Invention
    This unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1913 when Swedish-American engineer, Gideon Sundback received the patent for the modern-day zipper.
    Before Sundback came up with his tool, there were many versions of this wondrous device, without which, being fashionable today may have just been a bit harder.
    World's Fair Debut
    One of the first recorded versions of the zipper came in 1851 from Elias Howe - an American inventor who is often credited as a developer of the technology for sewing machines. In the late 19th century, Whitcomb Judson invented a clasp locker which made its debut at the Chicago World's Fair in 1893. This invention did not catch on as well as Judson had hoped for but it did earn him the title of the Inventor of the Zipper.
    How to Celebrate?
    It is such a simple thing, but a zipper makes our lives so much easier. Spend the day contemplating on other similar objects that are simple, but vital to our day to day lives. Did You Know...
    ...that Japanese manufacturer YKK Group accounts for 45% of the world's zippers?
     
    ***
     
    Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Joey, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

    Joey: Because George still had the ax in his hand?
     
    ***
     
    ‘Where is everybody?" the cowpoke asks.

    "They've all gone to see Brown Paper Pete hang," says a bystander.

    "Why do they call him that?" the cowboy asks.

    "Well, he always wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper shirt, and brown paper trousers."

    "Really?" says the cowboy. "And what are they hanging him for?"

    "Rustling."   ***
     
    Visiting a college campus, the prospective student spots a building called Hemingway Hall. "That's nice," he says, "a building named for Ernest Hemingway."

    "Actually," says the tour guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway."

    "Was he a writer?" the student asks.

    "Yes. He wrote a big check."
     
    ***
     
    A tour bus stops in Runnymede, England, and the guide says it was here that the Magna Carta was signed.

    "When did they sign it?" one passenger asks.

    "1215," the guide responds.

    "Dang! We missed it by 20 minutes."
     
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    The original colors of ancient Greek and Roman statues
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    Or a really wicked sense of humor!!
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 28 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 270
    April 28th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aphrodisius and companions Gianna Beretta Molla Kirill of Turov (Orthodox, added to Roman Martyrology in 1969) Louis de Montfort Pamphilus of Sulmona Peter Chanel Vitalis and Valeria of Milan April 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Mujahideen Victory Day (Afghanistan) National Heroes Day (Barbados) Restoration of Sovereignty Day (Japan) Sardinia Day (Sardinia) Workers' Memorial Day and World Day for Safety and Health at Work (international)[27] National Day of Mourning (Canada)  
    Observances
    National Superhero Day
    Love Your Thighs Day
    Clean Comedy Day
    Global Pay It Forward Day
    National Shrimp Scampi Day
    Biological Clock Day
    National Cubicle Day
    National Blueberry Pie Day
    Great Poetry Reading Day
    National BraveHearts Day
    National Kids and Pets Day
    Stop Food Waste Day
    Take Our Kids To Work Day
    Big Ed
     
    Fun Observances
    Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day
    Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day is celebrated every year on the fourth Thursday in April.

    The day, now run by Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Foundation, encourages parents to take their children to work so that they can understand the meaning of work-life balance and pride in one's work.
    Without Gender Limitations
    According to the Foundation’s website, the day “encourages girls and boys to dream without gender limitations and to think imaginatively about their family, work and community lives”.
    The day is celebrated on a Thursday so that kids can share their experiences in school the next day.
    First for Girls
    The day was first created by Gloria Steinem and the Ms. Foundation for Women in 1993 as Take Our Daughters to Work Day in recognition of the fact that young girls were often excluded from certain professions and had limited job opportunities.
    The unofficial holiday aimed to give girls the opportunity to see different workspaces and environments. In 2003, boys were also included in the celebration of the day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take your child to work. If you do not have children, maybe take your niece or nephew or a friends’ kid to work. Make sure you inform your employers that you will be bringing a child to work so that your colleagues can make the workspace child-friendly. Have exercise and activities ready for the children, so they don’t get bored. Did You Know…
    … that according to some studies, birth order can explain what professions children will choose when they grow up? Firstborns tend to take on professions that require higher education while the youngest kids prefer artistic careers.
     
    ***
     
    I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated, "Lost satellite contact."
    I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said,
    "Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you."
     
    ***
     
    When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?"

    The third grader opined, "Because she's read all our books?"     ***
     
    Driving along a country road, I ignored a Bridge Out sign and continued on. But in a few miles I came to a stop: The road was completely barricaded. So I turned around and retraced my route.
    That's when I saw this sign on the back of the first: "It was, wasn't it?"
     
    ***
     

    " IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS "
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 27 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 269
    April 27th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Anthimus of Nicomedia Assicus Floribert of Liège John of Constantinople Liberalis of Treviso Pollio Virgin of Montserrat Zita Origen Adamantius[21] April 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Russian Parliamentarism (Russia) Day of the Uprising Against the Occupying Forces (Slovenia) Flag Day (Moldova) Freedom Day (South Africa) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Sierra Leone from United Kingdom in 1961. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Togo from France in 1960. King's Day (Netherlands, Aruba, Curaçao, Sint Maarten) (celebrated on April 26 if April 27 falls on a Sunday) National Veterans' Day (Finland)  
    Observances
    World Stationery Day
    Morse Code Day
    National Tell A Story Day
    Stop Food Waste Day
    World Tapir Day
    National Prime Rib Day
    International Guide Dog Day
    National Administrative Professionals Day
    Marine Mammal Rescue Day
    Babe Ruth Day
    Denim Day
    National Devil Dog Day
    Yom HaShoah
    Lizzo
    Patrick Stump
     
    ***
     
    A neighborhood photography studio offered a special that few could resist.
    The sign read, "Now Shooting Seniors for Free."
    ***
    One diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures are second to none.
    The center's newspaper advertisement proclaimed,
    CT Colonoscopy: No Scope, No Sedation, No Recovery.
    ***
    During his fourth week of basic training, my grandson was able to make a brief phone call to me. He said he was attending church on base every week, which I was pleased to hear.

    "Everyone goes to church here," he added. "It's the only place we don't get yelled at."
    ***
    How come married women are heavier than single women?

    A single woman goes home, sees what's in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman sees what's in bed and goes to the fridge.
    ***
    When my ex-Marine father-in-law was at my house, our six-year-old neighbor came by to play with my kids.

    I asked her if she knew who he was. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said, "I don't remember what his name is, but I know he used to be a submarine."
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 26 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 268
    April 26th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Chernobyl disaster related observances: Day of Remembrance of the Chernobyl tragedy (Belarus) Memorial Day of Radiation Accidents and Catastrophes (Russia) Christian feast day: Aldobrandesca (or Alda) Franca Visalta Lucidius of Verona Our Lady of Good Counsel Pope Anacletus and Marcellinus Rafael Arnáiz Barón Riquier Paschasius Radbertus Peter of Rates (or of Braga) Robert Hunt (Episcopal Church (USA)) Stephen of Perm, see also Old Permic Alphabet Day Trudpert April 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Confederate Memorial Day (Florida, United States) Union Day (Tanzania) World Intellectual Property Day[46]  
    Observances
    Hug an Australian Day
    World Burlesque Day
    Get Organized Day
    National Help A Horse Day
    Alien Day
    Audubon Day
    National Dissertation Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Pretzel Day
    Celebrate the doughy, salty snack called Pretzel on April 26, Pretzel Day.

    Considered to be one of the oldest surviving snacks in the world, the humble but delicious pretzel is thought to have originated in Europe, possibly created by monks in monasteries.
    Soft or Hard
    The knot shape of the traditional soft dough pretzels is thought to signify folded hands during prayers.
    The commonly found hard pretzels are a much more recent invention considered to have been first made by German immigrants in Pennsylvania, United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate pretzel day by making your own pretzels at home. Try new flavors of pretzels. If you don’t have time to make your own, visit your local pretzel store. Chances are, they will be celebrating the day by giving away free pretzels. Did You Know...
    ...that Pennsylvanians eat more pretzels per capita than people in any other state in the United States? Because of this, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell declared April 26 as National Pretzel Day in 2003.
    ~~~~~~~
     Richter Scale Day
    April 26 is Richter Scale Day. The unofficial holiday honors the life and work of American seismologist Charles Francis Richter.

    Born on this day in 1900, Richter was the inventor of the Richter magnitude scale that measures the intensity of earthquakes.
    From 1935
    Known more commonly as the Richter scale, the scale was invented by Richter in 1935. It measures the magnitude of an earthquake on a logarithmic scale of 0 to 10. Each number on the scale refers to an event that is 10 times more powerful than an event with a number before it. This means an earthquake with a magnitude of 4 is 10 times stronger, and releases approximately 32 times more energy, than an earthquake with a magnitude of 3.
    Modern Replacements
    The Richter scale has now been replaced by more modern scales that calculate the magnitude and strength of earthquakes around the world. Despite this, the media commonly, but mistakenly, uses the term Richter scale when identifying the device that measures earthquakes.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the Richter scale and how it is used to measure the intensity of earthquakes. Visit your local space or science museum to learn more about earthquakes and what causes them. If you live in an earthquake-prone area, why not use to the day to run some emergency earthquake drills and ensure that your emergency supplies are up to date and easily accessible? Did You Know…
    …that earthquakes lower than 2.5 on the Richter scale are almost never felt by humans?
     
    ***
     
    A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They're appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

    Later, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."

    "Oh, please, Mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
     
    ***
     
    Staring at an empty cage, a zoo visitor asks, "Where are all the monkeys?"

    "It's mating season," the keeper replies. "They're inside."

    "Do you think they'd come out for peanuts?"

    "Would you?"
     
    ***
     
    The pastor asks his flock, "What would you like people to say when you're in your casket?"
    One congregant says, "I'd like them to say I was a fine family man."
    Another says, "I'd like them to say I helped people."
    The third responds, "I'd like them to say, 'Look! I think he's moving!' "
     
    ***
     
    We disbar lawyers and we defrock clergy, so why don't we:
    Delight electricians?
    Derange cowboys?
    Depose models?
    Debark tree surgeons?
    Depress dry cleaners?
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 25 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 267
    April 25th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Giovanni Battista Piamarta Major Rogation (Western Christianity) Mark the Evangelist Maughold Peter of Saint Joseph de Betancur Philo and Agathopodes Anianus of Alexandria April 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) World Malaria Day[26]  
    Observances
    Anzac Day
    National Hug a Plumber Day
    National Financial Awareness Day
    National Zucchini Bread Day
    World Penguin Day
    National Telephone Day
    National Hairstylist Appreciation Day
    National Liberation Day
    National Lingerie Day
     
    Fun Observances
     
    DNA Day
    Observed every year on April 25 since 2003, DNA Day celebrates and recognizes the importance of genetics and the scientific advances made in the field.

    DNA Day was instituted as a one-time celebration in the United States by a proclamation of the US Congress in 2002.
    Double Helix
    April 25 was chosen as the day to acknowledge the contribution of genetics because on this day in 1953, scientists James Watson, Francis Crick, and their colleagues published the double helix structure of DNA in the journal, Nature.
    Worldwide Celebration
    While DNA Day was first commemorated in the United States in 2003, it is now celebrated around the world. In the US, the National Human Genome Research Institute (NHGRI) is at the helm of organizing celebrations for the day. Universities and scientific organizations around the world also celebrate DNA day by organizing scientific conferences, educational outreach, online discussions and essay competitions.
    The holiday is also called International DNA Day and World DNA Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Attend scientific lectures to learn about the advances made in genetics. Learn more about DNA, its structure, and its components. Read up about how it affects our daily lives. If you have kids in your life, make a 3-D model of DNA with them. Get creative – use materials you can find at home or in your kitchen. Did You Know…
    …that each human cell contains approximately 6.5 feet (2 meters) of DNA?
     
     
    ***
     
    I input a junior manager's self-evaluation, which said in part, "I have been on the job for three months, and I finally feel as if I've accomplished something."
    I made one mistake, however.
    I replaced the word job with John.
     
    ***
     
    Proofreading an instruction manual for a hospital ventilator, I did a double take when I came across this questionable troubleshooting tip:
    "If the problem persists, replace patient immediately."
     
    ***
     
    A guy finds a sheep wandering in his neighborhood and takes it to the police station. The desk sergeant says, "Why don't you just take it to the zoo?"

    The next day, the sergeant spots the same guy walking down the street—with the sheep. "I thought I told you to take that sheep to the zoo," the sergeant says.

    "I know what you told me," the guy responds. "Yesterday I took him to the zoo. Today I'm taking him to the movies."
     
    ***
     
    When I asked a friend the secret to his 52 years of marriage, he replied, "We never go to sleep angry."

    "That's a great philosophy," I noted.

    "Yes. And the longest we've been awake so far is five days."
     
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    sandrewn 
  6. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 24 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 266
    April 24th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day (Armenia, France)[20] Christian feast day: Benedict Menni Dermot of Armagh Dyfnan of Anglesey Ecgberht of Ripon Fidelis of Sigmaringen Gregory of Elvira Ivo of Ramsey Johann Walter (Lutheran) Mary of Clopas Mary Euphrasia Pelletier Mellitus Peter of Saint Joseph de Betancur Salome (disciple) Wilfrid (Church of England) William Firmatus April 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Concord Day (Niger) Democracy Day (Nepal) Fashion Revolution Day, and its related observances: Labour Safety Day (Bangladesh, proposed) National Panchayati Raj Day (India) Republic Day (The Gambia) World Day for Laboratory Animals  
    Observances
    Scream Day
    National Pig in a Blanket Day
    Firefly Day
    National Pet Parents Day
    National Skipping Day
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Apr 24th, 2022 - Sat Apr 30th, 2022
    Go Diaper Free Week
     
    Fun Observances
    World Pinhole Photography Day
    The last Sunday in April is celebrated worldwide as World Pinhole Photography Day.

    The day aims to encourage people to pick up pinhole photography as a hobby and profession, and to share their techniques and pictures with the pinhole photography community.
    Small Hole
    Unlike its more technologically advanced counterparts, a pinhole camera has no lens and usually captures images using light that passes through a small hole or aperture. The light passes through the hole and projects an inverted image on a piece of film or paper.
    Make Your Own
    Popularly used to take photographs of the Sun and to safely observe solar eclipses, pinhole cameras are easy to make at home and require minimal equipment.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about pinhole cameras and photography. Make a simple pinhole camera at home and try to take pictures with it. Share the pictures with the pinhole photography community. Did You Know…
    …that the world's largest camera obscura is in Aberystwyth, Wales? A camera obscura is an optical device that was the precursor of a pinhole camera.
     
     
    ***
     
    While I was making a huge batch of snickerdoodle cookies, I asked my ten-year-old to read the recipe and ingredients off the box to me, doubling them as he went along. He did as he was told. His first instruction: "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees."
     
    ***
     
    After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?"

    "Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
     
    ***
     
    When I arrived at my mother's apartment complex, I was greeted by the disconcerting sight of a fire truck parked outside. There was no sign of smoke, and the firefighters didn't seem worried. Still, I asked one, "Is it safe to go inside? I'm a little wary of entering a building when the fire truck's lights are on."

    "Don't worry about it," he said. "We do it all the time."    
    ***
     
    "For sale: Eight puppies from a German shepherd and an Alaskan hussy."
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 23 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 265
    April 23rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adalbert of Prague[38] Felix, Fortunatus, and Achilleus George[29] Blessed Giles of Assisi Gerard of Toul Ibar of Beggerin (Meath) Toyohiko Kagawa (Episcopal and Lutheran Church) St George's Day (England) and its related observances:[29] La Diada de Sant Jordi (Catalonia, Spain) April 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Canada Book Day (Canada) Castile and León Day (Castile and León) Independence Day (Conch Republic, Key West, Florida) International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day Khongjom Day (Manipur) National Sovereignty and Children's Day (Turkey and Northern Cyprus) Navy Day (China) World Book Day[39] UN English Language Day (United Nations)[40] UN Spanish Language Day (United Nations)[4  
    Observances
    National Talk Like Shakespeare Day
    National Asparagus Day
    German Beer Day
    National Lost Dog Awareness Day
    International Marconi Day
    National Record Store Day
    National Email Day
    National Cherry Cheesecake Day
    National Lover's Day
    National Picnic Day
    Shakespeare Day
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Take a Chance Day
    Take A Chance Day on April 23 is the perfect excuse for you to play with some odds and venture out into unchartered territories.

    The origins of Take A Chance Day are unknown, though we think the creators of the unofficial holiday wanted people to put away their inhibitions and their fear of failure and do something bold and risky.
    Might Fail
    In the English language, take a chance is an idiom that refers to doing something that has a high likelihood of failure. Usually, when people take a chance they are risking the possibility of failure or misfortune. In mathematics, the word chance has a very specific meaning - it refers to the possibility of the occurrence of a certain event.
    The holiday is also known as National Take a Chance Day in the US.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take that leap of faith and do something big. Overcome your fears and do something adventurous. What about bungee jumping or learning how to fly an aircraft? Since today is also Lover’s Day, why not take a chance in love and tell that special one how much they mean to you? Make Swedish pop group, ABBA's song Take a Chance on Me, your anthem for this day. Did You Know…
    …that if you were in a group of 23 people, there is a 50% chance that you will meet someone who shares your birthday?
    ~~~~~~~
     Impossible Astronaut Day
    Fans of the British science fiction television series, Doctor Who, celebrate April 23 as Impossible Astronaut Day.

    The unofficial annual holiday celebrates the day in 2011 when the first episode of the sixth season of the series was aired in the United Kingdom, United States, and Canada.
    Most Watched
    Doctor Who is a sci-fi series that first aired on the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) in 1963. The show follows the adventures of the Doctor, a time-travelling alien, who travels through time and space in a time machine and spacecraft called Time and Relative Dimension in Space or TARDIS. The TARDIS looks like a London police box from the 1960s.
    Called The Impossible Astronaut, the episode became one of the most appreciated and watched episodes of the series.
    Tally Marks
    Whovians, as fans of the show like to call themselves, draw tally marks on their bodies to observe the day. The tally marks come from the episode when the main characters draw on their bodies to remind themselves about encounters with monsters called the Silence.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have never watched the show, what about starting the show on this day? Who knows, by next year, you may be a Whovian yourself! If you are a Whovian, make tally marks on your body to celebrate the holiday. Did You Know...
    ...that 12 different actors have officially played the Doctor on the show?
     
    ***
     
    9 Warm-Weather Jokes for Summer
    1. Past Lives On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."   2. Mr. Summertime We all grew up in a town on the New Jersey shore and spent our summers at the beach, swimming, surfing, hanging out with friends. One of my friends loved the season so much, we began calling him Mr. Summertime. "What happens when summer is over?" someone asked. I thought for a minute, then said, "In September he becomes the Fall Guy."   3. Wishful Thinking My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods. "Listen to me, Matthew," his mother said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?" Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay. Disney World."   4. Moving Forward The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends—generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. "Well," he replied, "you better start thinking about it. You'll be thirty before you know it." "But I'm closer to twenty than to thirty," I protested. "I won't be thirty for eight more years." "I see," he said, smiling. "And when will you be twenty again?"   5. Sounding Off I was with a friend in a café when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention to them?" I wondered aloud. "Some are quite effective," my friend corrected me. "Last summer, my teenager spent a lot of time at the neighbors'. Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to our driveway and jostle his car."   6. A Perfect Fit For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers. At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people. The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question, "Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?" "Because I fit in the chairs." She got the job.   7. Tag Sale Special I was getting ready for a tag sale one summer day. Since it was so humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had bought for the sale. Then I slapped them on my blouse, ran outside, stuck them on the appropriate items and rushed back inside. I did this until every item was labeled. Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he seemed ill at ease. It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse. It read "Make me an offer."   8. Clowning Around Before heading on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long the protective eye shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye. Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, "Man, I look like a clown." I had almost convinced myself I was overreacting -- until I was in line at the grocery store. I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me, "Are you giving out balloons?" he asked.   9. Hotter Cooler On a recent vacation at a resort with my in-laws, we planned to spend an afternoon at the pool with our kids. We wanted to bring our own drinks, but were unsure of the hotel's policy. My brother-in-law called the front desk, and assuming everyone was familiar with the brand of ice chest he had, asked if it was all right if he brought a Playmate to the pool. After a pause the clerk asked, "Does she have her own towel?" -- Tina M. Digiovanna 10. Forcast Vacationing in Vermont, I picked up the local paper to check out the forecast. It read: Today: Sunny, 76. Tonight: Not so sunny, 55.     ***
     

    Kuru (disease) - Wikipedia
     
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    Sorry, ran out of time
    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 22 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 264
    April 22nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Further information: April 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Acepsimas of Hnaita and companions (Catholic Church) Arwald Epipodius and Alexander Hudson Stuck (Episcopal Church) John Muir (Episcopal Church) Opportuna of Montreuil Pope Caius[30] Pope Soter St Senorina[31] Fighter Aviation Day (Brazil) Discovery Day (Brazil)[32] Earth Day (International observance)[33] and its related observance: International Mother Earth Day[34] Holocaust Remembrance Day (Serbia)[35] From 2018 onwards, a national day of commemoration for the murdered teenager Stephen Lawrence (United Kingdom)[36]  
    Observances
     
    National Teach Your Children to Save Day
    National Beagle day
    Day of Silence
     
    Fun Observances
    Jelly Bean Day
    April 22 is Jelly Bean Day. It is an unofficial holiday that honors the sugary bean-shaped candies that are hard on the outside and gel-like on the inside.

    Popular during Easter and Halloween, jelly bean candies come in a variety of flavors and colors.
    Cherry and Popcorn
    According to Jelly Belly, a popular jelly bean manufacturer, the most popular jelly bean flavors include cherry and buttered popcorn.
    Food historians believe that Turkish delights or lokum, a chewy candy from Turkey, inspired the creation of the jelly beans, though it is unclear who invented them.
    Presidental Favorite
    Some sources suggest that jelly beans were popularized during the American Civil War when people were encouraged to send the candy to soldiers in the field.
    Jelly beans are equally loved by children and adults alike. President Ronald Reagan was known to be a big fan of this delicious chewy candy, so much so that about 3 tons of red, white, and blue jelly beans were used during his inauguration as the 40th President of the United States in 1981. It is said that his favorite flavor was licorice.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have jelly beans with all your meals. What about trying bacon flavored jelly beans for breakfast? Been told that you don’t eat enough fruits? Eat a handful of fruit-flavored jellybeans. Make art using colorful jellybeans. Did You Know...
    ...that it can take anywhere from 7 to 21 days to make a single piece of jelly beans?
     
    ***
     
    "Boys just like one thing," my ten-year-old told a friend.
    Oh, no, the end of her innocence, I thought. Then she announced her finding:
    "PlayStations."
     
    ***
     
    My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect.
    "Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."
     
    ***
     
    According to careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:

    I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.

    I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.

    Someone stole all my daffodils.

    I had to go audition for American Idol.

    I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
     
    ***
     
    Here's a job to avoid: hiring manager. See what you'd have to contend with?

    The candidate answered his cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

    The candidate told the interviewer he wouldn't stay with the job long because he might get an inheritance if his uncle died—and the old man wasn't "looking too good."

    The candidate said she couldn't provide a writing sample because all her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

    When the applicant was offered food, he declined, saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

    The candidate flushed the toilet while talking to the interviewer during a phone interview.
     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 21 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 263
    April 21st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Further information: April 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Abdecalas Anastasius Sinaita Anselm of Canterbury Beuno Conrad of Parzham Holy Infant of Good Health Shemon Bar Sabbae Wolbodo Civil Service Day (India) Grounation Day (Rastafari) Heroic Defense of Veracruz (Mexico) Kang Pan-sok's Birthday (North Korea) Kartini Day (Indonesia) Local Self Government Day (Russia) National Tea Day (United Kingdom) National Tree Planting Day (Kenya) San Jacinto Day (Texas) Queen's Official Birthday (Falkland Islands) Tiradentes' Day (Brazil) Vietnam Book Day (Vietnam)  
    Observances
    World Creativity and Innovation Day
    National Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day
    National High Five Day
    Thank you Thursday
    National Chocolate Covered Cashews Day
    American Red Cross Giving Day
    National Kindergarten Day
    College Student Grief Awareness Day
    National Yellow Bat Day
     
     
    ***
     
    While filling up at a gas station, I accidentally spilled gasoline on my shirt. When I went inside to pay, I noticed a woman crinkling her nose.
    Embarrassed, I tried to put her mind at ease. "If you smell gas," I said, "it's me."
    ***
    At the salon, I overheard the receptionist admit to another customer, "I haven't taken my vitamins today. I'm walking around unprotected."

    The customer commiserated with her. "I haven't taken my Prozac today—everyone's walking around unprotected."
    ***
    One of the players on our junior high football team never saw action in a game. But my brother, the assistant coach, liked the kid and always gave him pep talks.

    "Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no I in team."

    "True," said the boy. "But there is a Ben in bench.
    ***
    According to careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:

    I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.

    I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.

    Someone stole all my daffodils.

    I had to go audition for American Idol.

    I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
    ***
    Scary business headline:
    "Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille"
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 20 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 262
    April 20th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Further information: April 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Agnes of Montepulciano[40] Beuno Hugh of Anzy le Duc Johannes Bugenhagen (Lutheran) Marcellinus of Gaul (Embrun) Blessed Oda of Brabant Pope Anicetus Theotimos 420 (cannabis culture)[41][42] UN Chinese Language Day (United Nations)[43]  
    Observances
    World Stationery Day
    Volunteer Recognition Day
    National Banana Day
    National Administrative Professionals Day
    Lima Bean Respect Day
    National Cheddar Fries Day
    National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day
    ~~~~~~
    Wed Apr 20th, 2022 - Mon Apr 25th, 2022
    National Stationery Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Look Alike Day
    If you have ever been told that you look familiar or look like someone else, then Look Alike Day on April 20 is the holiday you should be celebrating.

    Look Alike Day is a fun holiday invented to celebrate identical twins, clones, copycats and anyone else who you look like or who looks like you.
    Dress Alike
    The unofficial holiday with unknown origins encourages people to dress up and look like someone else. This person could be someone you look up to or a celebrity you are a fan of.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you know your look alike, spend the day with them. Dress up identically and copy each other's mannerisms, and have fun with people struggling to tell you apart! Find out what celebrity looks like you. Dress up like them, talk like them and walk like them. If it is a singer you look alike sing their songs the whole day long. If it is a author, then read out lines from their books every time you speak with someone. If you are on social media websites change out your display picture and replace it with your look alike's. Make sure you take permission from the owner of the picture before you do so. Did You Know…
    …that it is said that there are at least 7 people in the world who look like you?
     
     
    ***
     
    Our salesman at the electronics store was pitching a high-definition television. A fellow shopper, overhearing the spiel, mentioned that he'd upgraded his regular TV to high-def.
    "How'd you do that?" my husband asked.

    "I dusted the screen."
     
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    A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor. I felt terrible for her. Or I did until she cried, "Oh no! Not again!"    
    ***
     
    Two American tourists are driving through Wales. They decide to stop for a bite to eat in the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogo- gogoch.* Baffled by the name, one of them turns to a local and asks, "Would you please say where we are—very slowly?"
    The Welshman leans over and says, very slowly, "Burrr-gerrr Kinngg."
    *We kid you not! The 3,000 people in this community on the island of Anglesey must spend hours writing their return address.
     
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    A garden center customer picks up a container of insecticide and asks the salesperson, "Is this good for red ants?"

    "No," says the salesperson. "It'll kill 'em!"
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 19 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 261
    April 19th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day:
    Ælfheah of Canterbury (Anglican, Catholic)[69] Conrad of Ascoli Emma of Lesum Expeditus George of Antioch Olaus and Laurentius Petri (Lutheran) Pope Leo IX Ursmar April 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)  
    Observances
    Bicycle Day
    National Hanging Out Day
    National Rice Ball Day
    Poetry And The Creative Mind Day
    National Garlic Day
    National Amaretto Day
    Wear Pajamas to Work Day
    Jeremy Hutchins
    Kate Hudson
     
    ***
     
    Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.

    Millie: I is …

    Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, "I am."

    Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
     
    ***
     
    A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems. The doctor asks him what he's been eating.

    "I only eat pool balls," he says. "Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner."

    "I see the problem," says the doctor. "You're not getting enough greens."
     
    ***
     
    The irate customer calling our newspaper offices loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

    "Ma'am," I interrupted, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until Sunday."

    There was a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. "So that's why no one was in church today."
     
    ***
     
    10 Quotes About Springtime
    "Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party'""
    --Robin Williams


    "The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."
    --David Letterman


    "In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."
    --Margaret Atwood


    "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
    -- Josh Billings


    "Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into."
    -- Henry Ward Beecher


    "Gardens and flowers have a way of bringing people together, drawing them from their homes."
    -- Clare Ansberry


    "The earth laughs in flowers."
    -- e e cummings


    "At my age flowers scare me."
    -- George Burns


    "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
    -- Doug Larsen


    "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."
    -- H. L Mencken    
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 18 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 260
    April 18th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Apollonius the Apologist Corebus Cyril VI of Constantinople (Eastern Orthodox Church) Eleutherius and Antia Galdino della Sala Molaise of Leighlin Perfectus April 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Army Day (Iran) Coma Patients' Day (Poland) Friend's Day (Brazil) Independence Day, (Zimbabwe) International Day For Monuments and Sites Invention Day (Japan) Victory over the Teutonic Knights in the Battle of the Ice (Russia; Julian Calendar)  
    Observances
    Easter Monday
    National Piñata Day
    National Animal Crackers Day
    National Lineman Appreciation Day
    Pet Owners Independence Day
    International Amateur Radio Day
    Tax Day
    Adult Autism Awareness Day
    National Velociraptor Awareness Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Columnist Day
    April 18 is celebrated annually as Columnists Day to commemorate the life and work of columnist Ernest Taylor Pyle.

    The National Society of Newspaper Columnists created this holiday on the death anniversary of Ernie Pyle.
    Died on the Job
    Pyle, also known as Ernie, was a Pulitzer Prize winner who reported from both the European and Pacific theaters during the Second World War. He died while reporting in Okinawa.
    Dangerous Situations
    The purpose of the unofficial holiday is to appreciate the work that journalists do to inform people, create public opinion, keep people in power accountable and to bring to light important stories. The day is especially dedicated to columnists and journalists around the world who work in dangerous situations with the sole aim of uncovering the truth for the benefit of the society.
    The National Society of Newspaper Columnists was founded in 1977 as a professional organization for columnists and journalists.
    How to Celebrate?
    You don't need a lot of preparation to celebrate Columnists Day. Here are some ways you can show your appreciation for all those who bring news and opinion to you and keep you well informed about the world around you:
    Read a newspaper column. Write to your favorite newspaper columnist and thank them. If you know a columnist personally, celebrate them by doing something special for them, like baking them their favorite cake or taking them out for dinner. Learn more about the history of newspapers and journalism. Did You Know...
    ...that the Ordinari Post Tijdender, a Swedish newspaper is the oldest newspaper in the world that is still being published? The newspaper was first published in 1645. Its print version was stopped in 2007. Since then the newspaper is online only.
     
    ***
     
    Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long-suffering wife. "I want to take all my money with me," he tells her. "So promise me you'll put it in the casket."

    After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small metal box inside.

    Her friend looks at her in horror. "Surely," she says, "you didn't put the money in there."

    "I did promise him I would," the widow answers. "So I got it all together, deposited every penny in my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."
     
    ***
     
    I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have given me away because my four-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.
    "I'm going to meet a woman who always yells at Daddy," I told her.
    "Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."
     
    ***
     
    I'd contacted a butcher to get sheep brains for a lecture in my neuroanatomy class and said I'd be by to pick them up. But when I arrived at his shop, it was closed.
    Taped to the door was this note: "Teacher, your brains are next door at the barbershop."
     
    ***
     
    When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller, he's told not to worry. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."
    "That's great!" says the excited frog. "When will I meet her?"

    "Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."
     
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    Leaving her with only, $69,000,000. Life can be so cruel.
     
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    Chamoy Thipyaso - Wikipedia
     
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    Dolph Lundgren - Wikipedia
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 17 Apr 2022 (Extra)

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 259 Extra
    April 17th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Kateri Tekakwitha (Canada) Stephen Harding April 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Store Bededag or General Prayer Day can fall, while May 13 is the latest; observed on the 4th Friday after Easter. (Denmark) Evacuation Day (Syria), celebrates the recognition of the independence of Syria from France in 1946. FAO Day (Iraq) Flag Day (American Samoa) Malbec World Day Women's Day (Gabon) World Hemophilia Day  
    Observances
    Easter
    Blah Blah Blah Day
    National Cheeseball Day
    National Kickball Day
    International Bat Appreciation Day
    Nothing Like A Dame Day
    National Ford Mustang Day
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Apr 17th, 2022 - Sat Apr 23rd, 2022
    Coin Week
     
    Fun Observances
     Haiku Poetry Day
    April 17 is Haiku Poetry Day. The unofficial holiday honors the short poetry form that originated in Japan.

    Haiku is a type of short poetry that is usually three sentences long. First popularized in Japan in the 17th century, Haiku as a poetry genre has been adopted by many languages around the world. In English, the genre first became mainstream in the early 20th century.
    In its Japanese avatar, haikus traditionally have three lines with 17 syllables. The first and last sentences have 5 syllables and the second line has 7 syllables. The syllable rule, however, is not always set in stone. Compared to Japanese, many English words have longer syllables. Because of this, English haikus can often have anywhere from 10 to 14 syllables. Unlike a lot of other forms of poetry, words in a haiku poem do not need to rhyme.
    Haikus tend to give an interesting insight about something trivial, usually some aspect of nature or the seasons.
    Haiku Poetry Day is also sometimes known as National Haiku Poetry Day and International Haiku Poetry Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to write your own haikus. Pick up an anthology of haiku poetry and spend some time reading haikus. Learn more about the history of haiku. Did You Know…
    …that a monoku is an even shorter version of the haiku? Instead of the traditional 3 sentences, a monoku only has one line.
     
    ***
     
    I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. "If you can answer one question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons."
    Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued. "You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented."
    "I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him.
    "What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly.
    "A bologna sandwich."
    "Congratulations!" he shrieked. "And for having such a great sense of humor…"  
     
    ***
     
    After our parents retired, they moved from a busy city in Rhode Island to a small town in Maine. We didn't realize how small the town was until my sister visited the local video store. She selected a movie and told the clerk that she was going to rent the cassette under her parents' name.

    The clerk looked at the title and replied, "They already saw that one."
     
    ***
     
    A talking horse shows up at Dodger Stadium and persuades the manager to let him try out for the team.

    In his first at bat, the horse rips the ball deep into right field—then just stands there.

    "Run! Run!" the manager screams.

    "Run?" says the horse. "If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby."
     
    ***
     
    We were discussing the Middle East when my friend asked about the Kurds. "They want their own homeland," I explained. "But Iraq won't give up any land for it, and neither will Iran or Turkey."

    "So what you're saying is," he concluded, "they won't let the Kurds have their way?"
     
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    sandrewn
    Sorry that is all for the Sunday Extra
  14. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 16 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 258
    April 16th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Benedict Joseph Labre Bernadette Soubirous[37] Drogo Engratia[49] Fructuosus of Braga Isabella Gilmore (Church of England) Martyrs of Zaragoza Molly Brant (Konwatsijayenni) (Anglican Church of Canada, Episcopal Church) Turibius of Astorga April 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Birthday of José de Diego (Puerto Rico, United States) Birthday of Queen Margrethe II (Denmark)[50] Emancipation Day (Washington, D.C., United States) Memorial Day for the Victims of the Holocaust (Hungary) National Healthcare Decisions Day (United States) Remembrance of Chemical Attack on Balisan and Sheikh Wasan (Iraqi Kurdistan) World Voice Day  
    Observances
    Husband Appreciation Day
    National Auctioneers Day
    Save The Elephant Day
    National Record Store Day
    National Librarian Day
    Selena Day
    National Bean Counter Day
    National Orchid Day
    Anya Taylor-Joy
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Eggs Benedict Day
    Celebrate the hearty breakfast (or any other meal, in our very humble opinion) that is Eggs Benedict on April 16, Eggs Benedict Day.

    An American invention, a delicious Eggs Benedict includes an English Muffin, topped with bacon or ham, poached eggs, and Hollandaise sauce.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start your day by making Eggs Benedict for yourself and your family. No time to do it before work? What about making it for dinner instead? Try different variations of the dish. For instance, replace the bacon with tomatoes, spinach, or salmon. Hollandaise too hard to make early in the morning? Substitute it with melted cheese. Did You Know…
    …that spinning an egg can tell you whether it is raw or hard-boiled? A hard-boiled egg will easily spin, while a raw egg will wobble.
    ~~~~~~~
    Wear Pajamas to Work Day
    On April 16, lay aside your usual work attire and replace it with your pajamas to celebrate Wear your Pajamas to Work Day.

    While the origins of this fun holiday are unknown, the date of the holiday suggests that it was meant to give taxpayers in the United States a day to relax after Tax Day, April 15.
    In recent years, many celebrities have participated in the day by showing up in public in their pajamas.
    Pajams, payjamas, or jammies is a loose piece of clothing, not unlike pants, worn on the lower part of a person's body. While most people wear them to bed, they were once, and still are, part of a normal outfit worn by men and women during the day in many parts of the Middle East and South Asia.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wear your pajamas to work. Make sure you do inform your supervisor and your co-workers about the holiday. Share pictures of you in your pajamas at your office desk with family and friends. Did You Know...
    ...that the word pajama comes from the Persian word, payjameh meaning leg-garment?
     
     
    ***
     
    All in the Family
    When my husband was away at basic training, my four-year-old daughter and I stayed with my sister. Since my daughter already called me Mommy, she started calling her aunt Mom—the way her six-year-old cousin did.
    One day, someone called. I picked up the extension and overheard the person ask my daughter if her daddy was home. She said, “No, he’s in the Army.” “Is your mom home?” he asked. “Yes, but she’s asleep with Uncle Danny.
     
    ***
     
    Language Barrier
    As a young officer on the USS Midway, I was enjoying shore leave in Marseille. One day, I was invited to a local club to play tennis with two young Frenchwomen and a Norwegian man, who spoke only the most rudimentary English. After the doubles match, the Norwegian and I changed back into our street clothes and waited for the women to rejoin us.
    “You fly?” he said to me.
    I told him I was a ship's officer, not a naval aviator.
    After a pause to take in my response, he tried again. “You fly,” he said slowly, “is open.”
     
    ***
     
    My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

    Scott was master of the situation. "Pardon me," he told his customer calmly. "I have a call on another line."
     
    ***
     
    I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call.
    I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.
    If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 15 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 257
    April 15th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abbo II of Metz Father Damien (The Episcopal Church) Hunna Paternus of Avranches April 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Sun (North Korea) Father Damien Day (Hawaii) Hillsborough Disaster Memorial (Liverpool, England) Jackie Robinson Day (United States) National American Sign Language Day (United States)[25] Poila Boishakh (Bengali New Year) Tax Day, the official deadline for filing an individual tax return (or requesting an extension). (United States, Philippines) Universal Day of Culture World Art Day  
    Observances
    Passover
    Good Friday
    National That Sucks! Day
    National Anime Day
    National ASL Day
    International Microvolunteering Day
    National Take A Wild Guess Day
    National Laundry Day
    National Glazed Spiral Ham Day
    National Rubber Eraser Day
    Titanic Remembrance Day
    Emma Watson
     
    ***
     
    I took a real estate client to a handyman special. The place was great, and we couldn't understand why it was so cheap, until we turned on the water main and water gushed from the ceiling. Dripping wet, my client put a positive spin on the showing: "Nice house," he said. "It's even self-cleaning."   ***
     
    My cell phone quit as I tried to let my wife know that I was caught in freeway gridlock and would be late for our anniversary dinner. I wrote a message on my laptop asking other motorists to call her, printed it on a portable inkjet and taped it to my rear windshield.

    When I finally arrived home, my wife gave me the longest kiss ever. "I really think you love me," she said. "At least 70 people called and told me so."
     
    ***
     
    My mother began getting calls from men who misdialed the similar number of an escort service. Mom, who had had her number for years, asked the telephone company to change the organization's number. They refused. The calls kept coming day and night.

    Finally, Mom began telling the gentlemen who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the escort service voluntarily changed its number.
     
    ***
     
    Trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much computers had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

    Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 14 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 256
    April 14th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Ambedkar Jayanti (India) Black Day (South Korea) Christian feast day: Anthony, John, and Eustathius Bénézet Henry Beard Delany (Episcopal Church (USA)) Domnina of Terni Lidwina Peter González Tiburtius, Valerian, and Maximus April 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration of Anfal Genocide Against the Kurds (Iraqi Kurdistan) Day of Mologa (Yaroslavl Oblast, Russia) Day of the Georgian language (Georgia)[71] Dhivehi Language Day (Maldives) N'Ko Alphabet Day (Mande speakers) Pan American Day (several countries in The Americas) The first day of Takayama Spring Festival (Takayama, Gifu, Japan) Youth Day (Angola)[72]  
    Observances
    National Dolphin Day
    National Pecan Day
    National Gardening Day
    Maundy Thursday
    National Ex-Spouse Day
     
    Fun Observances (3)
    International Moment of Laughter Day
    On April 14, stop, smell the roses, and laugh a little (or a lot), because it is International Moment of Laughter Day.

    The unofficial holiday, created by humorologist Izzy Gesell, encourages people to forget the stresses of daily life and give into the healing and relaxing power of laughter.
    Reduces Stress
    Medical studies have shown that laughing reduces stress, increases blood flow, and lowers blood sugar levels. Some studies have found that people who laugh just before going to bed are much more likely to sleep better than those who did not.
    Spreads Happiness
    In addition to its health benefits, laughter also has social advantages. People who are jovial tend to be quickly accepted in social groups and have an easier time making friends. Laughter is a way to spread joy and happiness and bring cheer in the lives of other people.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take a moment in the day to read or watch something that would make you laugh. Go with family and friends to watch a comedy show or comedy movie. Collect jokes and share them with colleagues, friends, and family. Did You Know…
    …that human laughter has a specific acoustic structure? Laughter can have a ha-ha-ha or ho-ho-ho structure, but it is humanly impossible to have a ha-ho-ha-ho structure to laughter.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Reach as High as You Can Day
    April 14 is Reach as High as You Can Day, a day to expand your horizons and try to attain that dream that seems so hard and so far to reach.

    Also known as National Reach as High as You Can Day in the United States, the holiday is a reminder that if you try hard enough, almost anything is possible.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start working on that big project you never thought you would start. Try your hand at that thing you thought was impossible; you never know you may succeed. And if you don’t, at least you tried. Take the day literally and spend some time playing on a trampoline. Or take a ride in a hot air balloon. Or start taking flying lessons. Did You Know...
    ...that the record for the highest jump in recent history is held by Javier Sotomayor of Cuba? In 1993, he jumped 2.45 meters or 8.25 feet.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Look up the Sky Day
    On April 14, step out of your home or office and take a few minutes to look up at the sky because it is Look up the Sky Day.

    Maybe this unofficial holiday, with unknown origins, aims to encourage people to go outdoors and enjoy the various bounties of nature.
    Perhaps the anonymous creators also wanted people to ponder over the vastness of the sky and space and learn more about what lies beyond what we can see.
    Different Definitions
    While most of us use the term sky to refer to the blue dome above us, astronomers and meteorologists define it very differently. In astronomy, the sky is also called the celestial sphere or dome – an imaginary sphere that extends infinitely into space with the observer on Earth at its center. So, for astronomers, the sky includes much more than what most people can see.
    Meteorologists, on the other hand, are primarily concerned with the weather. They define the sky as the upper atmosphere of the Earth.
    Colors of the Sky
    During the day, the sky looks blue because of a phenomenon called Rayleigh Scattering. Even though it looks white to the human eye, sunlight is made up of different colors, each of which has a specific wavelength. Some colors, like blue and violet, have short wavelengths, while reds and yellows have longer wavelengths.
    When sunlight enters the Earth's atmosphere, the gas molecules in the atmosphere scatter some of the colors in different directions and let others pass through. During the day, when the Sun is high up in the sky, these molecules scatter the shorter blue and violet wavelengths. Because of this, the sky looks blue during the day.
    In the early mornings and evening, around the time of twilight, sunlight has to pass through more of the atmosphere. The blue and violet lights tend to get scattered away much before the sunlight reaches us, leaving the yellow and red part of the light spectrum to light up the sky.
    A Wonder to Behold
    During the night, when there is no direct sunlight to illuminate the sky, one can see many celestial bodies, including the Moon, stars, meteors, and comets.
    A number of atmospheric and optical phenomena can also be seen in the sky. Some of these include rainbows and moonbows, auroras, zodiacal lights, halos, sundogs, and light pillars.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take some time off during the day and go out to look at the sky. You never know what you may be able to see! Before you step out, read up on different kind of clouds and constellations. Play who spots the most types of constellations and clouds game with family and friends. Join an astronomy club to learn more about stars and other celestial objects easily visible in the night sky. Spend the day doing some bird watching. After all, birds are an integral part of the landscape of the sky. Did You Know...
    ...the Earth's atmosphere scatters more violet light than blue? If it were not for how the human eye perceives colors – we are more sensitive to blue – the sky would look purple to us!
     
    ***
     
    After a day full of accidents and mistakes, my coworker had had it. "Why," she cried out in exasperation, "do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!"
     
    ***
     
    As I left my office at the National Cancer Institute, I passed one of our researchers by the front door puffing away on a cigarette.
    "How can you smoke when you, of all people, know the harm caused by cigarettes?" I asked.
    He took another draw, exhaled, and replied through the smoke, "Because it gives me more motivation to find a cure."
     
    ***
     
    My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat. "The secret," Mom said, "is to get this piece of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."

    After struggling with the zipper for several minutes, the boy sighed and said, "Why does it have to be a secret?"
     
    ***
     
    I was charged by the Coast Guard to buy a house near Station Rockland in Maine to be converted into military housing. But after many delays on our part, the owners' lawyer got antsy.
    "I don't like working with the government," the man said. "I'm not sure I'd even trust one of your checks."
    "I wouldn't worry," I replied. "Not only do we print our own checks, we also print the money to back them up."
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 13 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 255
    April 13th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day:
    Hermenegild Blessed Ida of Louvain Pope Martin I April 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)  
    Observances
    International FND Awareness Day
    International Day of Pink
    National Thomas Jefferson Day
    National Make Lunch Count Day
    National Peach Cobbler Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Scrabble Day
    April 13 is Scrabble Day, a day to celebrate the popular board game created in 1938 by Alfred Mosher Butts, an American architect.

    Like a Crossword
    Scrabble is a word game where 2 to 4 players place tiles, each having a single letter, on a board such that the tiles form words. Like a crossword puzzle, the words have to be built on a 225 square Scrabble board from top to bottom or from left to right.
    29 Languages
    First marketed in the United States as Lixiko and Criss-Crosswords, the game is now so popular that it is sold around the word in 29 different languages!
    The word Scrabble comes from the Dutch word, schrabbelen, meaning to struggle and scramble.
    How to Celebrate?
    Gather around with your family and friends and play Scrabble. Throw a Scrabble themed party. Play a game of Scrabble or two. Whoever wins takes home a thesaurus or a dictionary. Like baking? Whip up a batch of Scrabble tile cookies to serve at your Scrabble party. Have some extra Scrabble tiles lying around? Use them to make some Scrabble jewelry for the Scrabble lovers in your life. Don't have time to play a real game of Scrabble? Download one of the many Scrabble word game apps out there and play while you are out and about. Just remember not to play when driving or operating heavy and dangerous machinery or when in a meeting. Did You Know…
    …that if you played the word Oxyphenbutazone in your next game of Scrabble, you will make 1458 points as calculated by a Dan Stock of Ohio? Oxyphenbutazone is a medication used to treat arthritis and is the highest scoring single play word in Scrabble.
     
    ***
     
    Whenever my family leaves the house, our Shetland sheepdog's animal instincts start to kick in.
    He runs circles around us and nips at our heels to keep us all together.
    Watching this display, my friend couldn't resist: "You always herd the ones you love."
     
    ***
     
    Officer candidate school at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, was tough. During an inspection, a fellow soldier received 30 demerits for a single penny found within his area. Ten demerits were for "valuables insecure," ten because the penny wasn't shined, and ten because Abraham Lincoln needed a shave.
     
    ***
     
    "What is that sound?" a woman visiting our nature center asked.
    "It's the frogs trilling for a mate," Patti, the naturalist, explained. "We have a pair in the science room. But they've been together for so long, they no longer sing to each other."
    The woman nodded sympathetically. "The trill is gone."
     
    ***
     
    1960s
    A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop.
    "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked.
    With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard:
    "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride.
     
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    sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 12 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 254
    April 12th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (Bolivia) Christian feast day: Adoniram Judson (Episcopal Church) Alferius Blessed Angelo Carletti di Chivasso Erkembode Pope Julius I[43] Teresa of the Andes Zeno of Verona April 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration of first human in space by Yuri Gagarin: Cosmonautics Day (Russia) International Day of Human Space Flight[44] Yuri's Night (International observance) Halifax Day (North Carolina) National Redemption Day (Liberia)  
    Observances
    Deskfast Day
    World Hamster Day
    National Licorice Day
    Walk On Your Wild Side Day
    National Equal Pay Day
    Education and Sharing Day
    National Big Wind Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Be Kind to Lawyers Day
    Honor the lawyer in your life on Be Kind to Lawyers Day, celebrated annually on the second Tuesday of April.

    Lawyers, they may get a bad rap, but they are essential to the workings of society and the justice system.
    Before Tax Day
    The unofficial holiday was created by Steve Hughes, an American communication expert as National Be Kind To Lawyers Day in 2008. He chose to celebrate the holiday on the second Tuesday of April because it falls between April Fool’s Day and Tax Day in the United States.
    Like Your Lawyer
    Be Kind to Lawyers Day, also known as International Be Kind to Lawyers Day, encourages people to be kind to all those who practice law and make sure that the legal system in a country works smoothly.
    Even though the legal profession is one of the oldest professions in the history of humankind, lawyers have been a subject of jokes and have been seen as a necessary evil by the public throughout history.
    Dispels the Myth
    The reason for this hatred towards lawyers stems from a general perception that all lawyers charge more than they should from their clients, and are willing to abuse the legal system in order to get the judgment in their client's favor.
    Be Kind to Lawyers Day attempts to dispel this myth and raises awareness about the constructive and important role lawyers lay in ensuring that a society functions smoothly.
    How to Celebrate?
    Send a thank you note to the lawyer in your life. It always helps to have a lawyer on your side! Take your lawyer out for lunch and show them your appreciation for keeping you out of trouble! Watch TV shows or movies with protagonists who are lawyers. Use legal jargon during conversations with family, friends, and colleagues. Did You Know…
    …that a law in ancient Athens made it illegal for lawyers to charge fees for their services?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Grilled Cheese Day
    April 12 is Grilled Cheese Day, a day to celebrate this hearty bread and cheese dish and to make every meal out of it.

    A grilled cheese consists of grilling or toasting a slice of cheese between two slices of bread.
    Comfort Meal
    Enjoyed today by people around the world as an after school or as a comfort meal, the modern version of a grilled cheese is believed to have originated in the United States during the 1920s when sliced bread and cheese became easily available.
    The cheese usually used in grilled cheese is American cheese which is a processed cheese product that has a very low melting point. Hot tomato soup, potato chips, and pickles are common accompaniments of a grilled cheese sandwich.
    Cheese Toastie
    The British version of a grilled cheese is called a cheese toastie. The cheese of choice for a toastie is cheddar cheese.
    The unofficial holiday of unknown origins is also sometimes known as National Grilled Cheese Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make grilled cheese for all your meals. Have an egg and bacon grilled cheese for breakfast, a tomato and mozzarella grilled cheese for lunch, and a traditional grilled cheese for dinner. Who says grilled cheese has to be savory? Make a dessert grilled cheese with fruit and brie or cream cheese and chocolate spread. Gourmet up your grilled cheese by adding gourmet ingredients to it. What about adding some bacon into the mix or some arugula and roasted beets for the vegetarians? Substitute tomato soup with sweet potato soup or pumpkin soup. Did You Know…
    …that mozzarella is the most consumed cheese in the world?
     
    ***
     
    As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast- feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing.

    After mulling over my answers, she remarked, "My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them."
     
    ***
     
    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the reenactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event. But the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down.

    That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at Will!"
     
    ***
     
    While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma.
    Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids probably did not expect:
    "breathtaking views."
     
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    When did Constantinople become Istanbul? | Live Science
     
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 11 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 253
    April 11th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Antipas of Pergamum (Greek Orthodox Church) Barsanuphius[41][42] Gemma Galgani Godeberta Guthlac of Crowland George Selwyn (Anglicanism) Stanislaus of Szczepanów April 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Juan Santamaría Day, anniversary of his death in the Second Battle of Rivas. (Costa Rica) International Louie Louie Day World Parkinson's Day  
    Observances
    National Pet Day
    Education and Sharing Day
    National Cheese Fondue Day
    National Eight Track Tape Day
    National Marketing Operations Appreciation Day
    (my main reference is offline, there might be a few missing)
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Submarine Day
    March 11 is Submarine Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the technological advances that make the use of the watercraft possible.

    It is thought that the unofficial holiday commemorates the date in 1898 when Irish engineer John Philip Holland showed his submarine design to the U.S. Navy.
    Modern Submarine
    Called the Holland Type VI submarine, his prototype was the first modern submarine design to work successfully underwater. His submarines became the first vessels to be bought by the United States Navy and the British Royal Navy.
    A similar holiday is celebrated on April 17 in the US as a way to honor the anniversary of the establishment of the U.S. Submarine Force in 1900.
    Military Purposes
    Submarines have primarily been used for offensive military purposes throughout the 20th century. During World War I and World War II, they were used to sink enemy ships. In the present day, while submarines are still used by the military, they are increasingly being put to use for civilian benefits. Their ability to go deep underwater have made it possible for scientists to research marine life and sea beds. They are also sometimes used for underwater tourism.
    Most present-day military submarines run using nuclear power, though, in many parts of the world, diesel-electric submarines are also in common use.
    Submarine the Sandwich
    In many parts of the United States, a submarine is a type of sandwich. Usually made with a long roll of bread and filled with meats, vegetables, and spreads, this popular lunch dish is also called by other names like hero, hoagie, grinder, and sub. It is thought that the sandwich was named submarine because it resembles the shape of the underwater vessel.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the art and science of submarines. Celebrate the day by consuming as many sub sandwiches as you can. Watch movies that feature submarines. Did You Know...
    ...that the first known submarine was created in 1620 by Cornelius Drebbel?
    ~~~~~~~
     Barbershop Quartet Day
    April 11 is Barbershop Quartet Day, a day that celebrates barbershop music, a style of harmony singing without any accompanying music.

    The unofficial holiday commemorates the founding of the Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America in 1938.
    Waiting Songs
    As the name suggests, barbershop music originated in 19th-century American barbershops, a place where men, usually African-American, came to socialize. While waiting for their turn with the barber, these men sang, harmonized improvised songs and created a genre of music that is now known as barbershop music.
    Straw Hats
    A barbershop quartet is a group of 4 men, each with their own unique voices - second tenor, first tenor, bass, and baritone - singing songs in the barbershop style.
    Barbershop quartets have a signature dressing style that includes bright striped jackets, straw hats, and big mustaches.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by getting acquainted with Barbershop music and its history. Attend a barbershop quartet show and enjoy their music. Did You Know…
    …that barbershop music is a type of acapella? Acapella is a style of singing without any accompanying instrumental music. The word comes from the Italian word for according to the church.
     
    ***
     
    A passing septic service truck declared "19,500 lbs. of very gross weight."
     
    ***
     
    A couple invited some people to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

    "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

    "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

    The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
     
    ***
     
    Although desperate to find work, I passed on a job I found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator.
    Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."
     
    ***
     
    When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife. "That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,' " he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for $798,000."
     
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    Great eared nightjar - Wikipedia
     
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    (thought I'd end tonight with a chuckle)
     
    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 10 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 252
    April 10th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Fulbert of Chartres James, Azadanus and Abdicius Mikael Agricola (Lutheran) Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (Episcopal Church) William of Ockham (Anglicanism) William Law (Anglicanism) April 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Builder (Azerbaijan) Feast of the Third Day of the Writing of the Book of the Law (Thelema) Siblings Day (International observance)  
    Observances
    Golfer’s Day
    International Safety Pin Day
    National Hug Your Dog Day
    National Cinnamon Crescent Day
    National Encourage a Young Writer Day
    National Farm Animals Day
    Palm Sunday
    Ram Navami
     
    Fun Observances
     Siblings Day
    Honor your sibling on Siblings Day, an unofficial holiday celebrated annually on April 10.

    The day aims to celebrate the very important but often under-appreciated special relationship and bond of love, friendship, and respect shared between siblings.
    Made in New York
    All of us who have been lucky enough to have siblings know that sometimes they can be annoying and a pain to be around, but this should not stop you from celebrating what will possibly be the longest relationship in your life.
    The unofficial day was created by New Yorker Claudia Evart in memory of her brother and sister, whom she lost early in her life.
    Since 1998, US President Bill Clinton and governors of 39 states in the U.S. have officially recognized Siblings Day as an observance.
    The holiday is also known as National Siblings Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Here are some ways you can celebrate this special day:
    Even though it is a predominantly American holiday, nothing should stop you from celebrating it wherever you are. Do something special to celebrate your siblings - throw a party for them, cook them their favorite dish, take them out to do their favorite activity, stay at home and go through old family photos and videos, and reminisce about the good times you had growing up together. Spend some time with your siblings. If you live away from them, call them and talk to them. What about paying them a surprise visit? If you are unable to call or visit them, what about sending them a lovely card that tells them how much you miss them and care for them? Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them and all they do for you. If your siblings are no longer with you, what about doing something special in their memory? Perhaps donating to their favorite charity? And don't forget your step- and half-siblings! So what if you only share one parent or don't have a genetic connection to them - sometimes connections of the heart are all you need to become brothers and sisters. Did You Know...
    ...that siblings who have the same parents share 50% of their DNA, while half-siblings – siblings who have one common parent – possess about 25% similar genetic material?
     
    ***
     
    John went to visit his old grandfather in a secluded area of Georgia. After chatting all night John's grandfather made a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film on his plate, and questioned his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"

    His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just finish your meal!"
    For lunch John worried that the plates had dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
    The old man said, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now I don't want to hear any more about it!"
    Later that afternoon, as John was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, not letting him pass. John yelled, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car."
    The old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lie down!"
     
    ***
     
    A propane supply store isn't shy about revealing where its heart lies: "Tank heaven for little grills."
     
    ***
     
    What does a producer do?
    The screenwriter, obviously, writes the screenplay.
    The actors, of course, act in that screenplay.
    And the director, without question, directs the whole thing.
    But what does the producer do?
    I will attempt to explain.
    A film producer is the guy who, when a writer tells him about a good idea he's got for a screenplay, says, "That was done in 1938 by William Wyler. It costarred Fredric March and Loretta Young, with Claude Rains playing the black hat. But you know what? I think we could update it, if instead of making the leading lady a nun, we have her working in a casino in Nevada. We put George Clooney in the Fredric March role, and we make him an undercover agent for the CIA who has tracked a Russian agent to Las Vegas. Angelina Jolie would be great for the girl.
    [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"]http://media.rd.com/rd/images/rdc/mag0811/quirks-film-producer-ch.jpg Matty Simmons is the producer of National Lampoon's Animal House and the Vacation movies.[/caption] "They meet and fall in love, but he discovers that she's pregnant by the Russian agent. George has been licensed to kill this guy, who, incidentally, will be played by Jack Black, but Angelina begs George not to kill the father of her unborn child. In a tearstained scene at the Las Vegas airport, Angelina says goodbye to George and walks to the plane to join Jack Black for the trip back to Moscow. Our big ballad here. Maybe we get Elton John.
    "George stops at the airport and pulls out a quarter-a quarter she gave him. He drops it in a slot machine. The place goes nuts-bells ringing and all that stuff. George has hit the $1 million jackpot! He collects his money in a single large suitcase. It's all in ones to make it more visual-this is a visual medium.
    "He goes back to his hotel. He's still sick about losing Angelina. He takes the $1 million down to the hotel casino and puts the whole thing on No. 27, which was their number. We see the ball rolling around and around and around-endlessly, while the theme music, sung by Celine Dion, soars until every butt in every seat is up in the air. The ball drops into No. 29, then hiccups slightly and pops into 28, then, as Celine reaches a pitch so high that every dog within a mile of any movie house in America is howling with pain, the ball goes blip-and drops into 27."
     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 09 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 251
    April 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Anglicanism, Lutheranism) Gaucherius Materiana Waltrude April 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Anniversary of the German Invasion of Denmark (Denmark) Baghdad Liberation Day (Iraqi Kurdistan) Constitution Day (Kosovo) Day of National Unity (Georgia) Day of the Finnish Language (Finland) Day of Valor or Araw ng Kagitingan (Philippines) Feast of the Second Day of the Writing of the Book of the Law (Thelema) Martyr's Day (Tunisia) National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day (United States) Remembrance for Haakon Sigurdsson (The Troth) Vimy Ridge Day (Canada)[45]  
    Observances
    National Unicorn Day
    International ASMR Day
    National Name Yourself Day
    National Cherish An Antique Day
    National Winston Churchill Day
    National Chinese Almond Cookie Day
     
    ***
     
    Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand and hand these days. I wasn't surprised when one of my daughter's friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged.

    "I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?"

    "Honesty," she said.
     
    ***
     
    As a high-school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports. A fellow coach, Bob, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn't home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.

    "Just calm down, and I'll have him call you as soon as he gets home," the coach's wife told him. "What's your number?"

    The flustered kid replied, "Three."
     
    ***
     
    As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at his official-looking vehicle, one of the valets asked my husband if he was driving a government car.
    "Why, yes," my husband replied, surprised by the question. "In fact it's an unmarked police car."

    "Wow!" the young man said, sliding behind the wheel. "This will be the first time I've been in the front seat."
     
    ***
     
    In my job as an electronics salesman, I've seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy.
    One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVDs, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of-factly, "Does it get cable?"
     
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    Prince Philip inspired a role in a DISNEY movie - and it might surprise you | Royal | News | Express.co.uk
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 08 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 250
    April 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Buddha's Birthday, also known as Hana Matsuri, "Flower Festival" (Japan) Christian feast day: Anne Ayres (Episcopal Church (USA)) Constantina Julie Billiart of Namur Perpetuus Walter of Pontoise William Augustus Muhlenberg (Episcopal Church (USA)) April 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Fast and Prayer Day can fall, while April 14 is the latest; celebrated on the second Friday in April (Liberia) International Romani Day  
    Observances
    National Zoo Lovers Day
    National Pygmy Hippo Day
    Day of Silence
    Draw a Picture of a Bird Day
    National Empanada Day
    National All is Ours Day
     
     
    ***
     
    On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast food place to order a quart of potato salad. "We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped.

    "Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.

    I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?"
     
    ***
     
    I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. "This is where the judge sits," I began, pointing to the bench. "The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see," I finished, "there are a lot of people involved in making this system work."

    At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, "Yeah, but I'm the one who makes it all happen."
     
    ***
     
    My doctor friend moved his family to a small town in Montana. An Italian American raised in Philadelphia, he wanted his kids to enjoy clean the benefits of air and the outdoors. The locals were thrilled to have a doctor of their own, and were always inviting him and his family over for dinner.

    During one visit, one of his daughters told a rancher's daughter, "We're Italian."

    Somewhat confused, the little girl replied, "We're Ranch."
     
    ***
     
    Four students walked in halfway through the American history test my father was giving at the local community college. "Sorry," they said, "we had a flat tire."

    An understanding man, Dad said that if they could all answer just one question correctly, he would give them each an "A" for the exam. The students agreed.
    So my father handed each one a piece of paper, placed them in four separate corners and said, "Write down which tire was flat."
     
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    ( Me )
     
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    ( A penny for your thoughts )
    I know you know, but just in case, it is a ' Pangolin '
    Pangolin - Wikipedia
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 07 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 249
    April 7th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Aibert of Crespin Blessed Alexander Rawlins Blessed Edward Oldcorne and Blessed Ralph Ashley Blessed Notker the Stammerer Brynach Hegesippus Henry Walpole Hermann Joseph Jean-Baptiste de La Salle Patriarch Tikhon of Moscow (Eastern Orthodox Church, Episcopal Church (USA)) April 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Flag Day (Slovenia) Genocide Memorial Day (Rwanda), and its related observance: International Day of Reflection on the 1994 Rwanda Genocide (United Nations)[55] Motherhood and Beauty Day (Armenia) National Beer Day (United States) Sheikh Abeid Amani Karume Day (Tanzania) Women's Day (Mozambique) World Health Day (International observance)[55]  
    Observances
    Tell a Lie Day
    National No Housework Day
    National Making The First Move Day
    International Beaver Day
    National Burrito Day
    National Alcohol Screening Day
    National Girl Me Too Day
     
    ***
     
    My wife's car horn began to beep in cold weather and would only stop when she disconnected it. So she disabled the horn and drove to the dealership, whose garage had its door shut to keep out the cold.
    Outside was a sign: "Honk horn for service."
     
    ***
     
    Searching in my library for two books by communications expert Deborah Tannen turned into an Abbott and Costello routine. "What's the first book?" the librarian asked.

    "That's Not What I Meant," I said.

    "Well, what did you mean?"

    "That's the title of the book," I explained.

    "Okay." She looked at me a little skeptically. "And the other book?"

    "You Just Don't Understand."

    "Excuse me?"

    I got both books. Eventually.
     
    ***
     
    During a recent meeting of our Optimist Club, we challenged one another to come up with an inspirational sentence using the word countenance. This was the winning entry:
    "I put a cheerful countenance on people every day." It was submitted by our local funeral director.
     
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    ( YUP )
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    Yes, Yes, Yes, but what the heck was Boone's Farm??
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 06 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 248
    April 6th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Chakri Day, commemorating the establishment of the Chakri dynasty. (Thailand) Christian feast day: Albrecht Dürer and Lucas Cranach (Lutheran Church). Brychan Eutychius of Constantinople (Eastern Orthodox Church) Marcellinus of Carthage Pope Sixtus I April 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of Sport for Development and Peace[26] National Fisherman Day (Indonesia) New Beer's Eve (United States) Tartan Day (United States & Canada) Waltzing Matilda Day (Australia)[27][28] International Asexuality Day[29]  
    Observances
    World Table Tennis Day
    Child help National Day of Hope
    Plan Your Epitaph Day
    National Caramel Popcorn Day
    Army Day
    National Bookmobile Day
    National Siamese Cat Day
    National Student-Athlete Day
    Day of Hope
    National Acai Bowl Day
    National Teflon Day
    National Walking Day
     
    Fun Observances
     Sorry Charlie Day
    April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day, a day to recognize that everyone gets rejected sometimes in his or her life. The name of the holiday comes from the phrase Sorry Charlie, popular in the United States.

    According to some, the phrase comes from a Starkist Tuna commercial in the 1970s.
    Tasty Tuna
    In the commercial, the main character, Charlie the Tuna, believes he has good taste and wants to be caught by the Tuna company. The company, however, rejects Charlie by attaching a note to a fish hook that says “Sorry Charlie.” The reason Charlie is rejected by the tuna company is because the company prefers to catch a tuna that tastes good, and not a tuna that has good taste.
    Rejection Phrase
    The phrase is now is commonly used as a response to someone who has experienced a rejection. It can be sometimes be seen as an uncaring response.
    How to Celebrate?
    Think back on all the rejections in your life – academic, professional and personal – and spend the day reflecting on what you learned from each of them. Treat yourself because you didn’t let any rejections let you down. Did You Know...
    ...that some schools of tuna fish swim alongside dolphins as a way to protect themselves from sharks and other predatory sea life?
     
    ***
     
    The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library. So when my husband's co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help. "I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said.

    "Which one?" she asked.

    He scanned the shelves and answered, "William."
     
    ***
     
    Giving a sermon one Sunday, I heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people. I interrupted my sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.

    When the service was over, I went to greet people at the front door. Three adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.
     
    ***
     
    We live less than a quarter-mile from the high school, but my son proudly drove there in a car he bought with his own money. A typical first car, it had lots of little problems and was sometimes slow to start.

    One morning I was surprised to see it still in front of the house, so after school I asked him about it. "I had to get to school early," he said, "so I just ran."
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 05 Apr 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 247
    April 5th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Albert of Montecorvino Derfel Gadarn Æthelburh of Kent Gerald of Sauve-Majeure Juliana of Liège Maria Crescentia Höss Blessed Mariano de la Mata Pandita Mary Ramabai (Episcopal Church (USA)) Ruadhán of Lorrha Vincent Ferrer April 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Cold Food Festival, held on April 4 if it is a leap year (China); and its related observances: Earliest day on which Sham el-Nessim can fall, while May 9 is the latest; celebrated on Monday after the Orthodox Easter (Egypt) Children's Day (Palestinian territories) Sikmogil (South Korea) National Maritime Day is observed in India, in commemoration of the first voyage of SS Loyalty of the Scindia Steam Navigation Company Ltd. in 1919.  
    Observances
    National Caramel Day
    Hospital Admitting Clerks Day
    National Go For Broke Day
    National Library Workers Day
    National Deep Dish Pizza Day
    National Flash Drive Day
    Qingming Festival
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Read a Road Map Day
    Read a Road Map Day is on April 5. It encourages people to go on an adventure the old-fashioned way – with a paper map!

    Also known as National Read a Road Map Day, the unofficial holiday is a throwback to what the kids today call the "old days" before GPSs.
    No GPS
    Roadmaps, or route maps, are navigational maps that usually show roads and landmarks in a specific area.
    In recent years, the rise of Global Positioning System (GPS) and mobile technology is making paper maps outdated.
    How to Celebrate?
    When was the last time you picked up a map and used it for directions? No, not a GPS or a map app, but an actual paper map? Don't remember? Here are some ways to celebrate Read a Road Map Day:
    Take a short road trip and use only paper maps to guide you. Bring along a navigator who does the map reading and directing for you. If you do not have a navigator, please make sure you only read the map when your car is at a complete stop. If you have never read a map, take some time to learn to read one. We reckon it will be a good skill to have in the unlikely event of a zombie apocalypse. Learn more about maps and how they are made. Did You Know...
    ...that the Turin Papyrus is thought to be the oldest recorded road map in the world? Historians believe that it was created around 1160 BCE.
    ~~~~~~~
     First Contact Day
    Fans of the sci-fi series Star Trek celebrate First Contact Day on April 5 to mark the day in 2063 when humans make their first contact with the Vulcans.

    The day is celebrated as a minor holiday in the Star Trek world and made its first appearance on the episode named Homestead in the Star Trek: Voyager series.
    TV Show
    Star Trek is an American television and film enterprise first created in 1966 by Gene Roddenberry. The first television series in the franchise debuted in 1966 and is now known as The Original Series. It followed the adventures of the crew of the starship USS Enterprise under the leadership of Captain James T Kirk.
    Humanoid Race
    The Enterprise is a 23rd-century spaceship of the United Federation of Planets, a federation of more than 150 governments from different planets. The Federation as it is popularly known was created in 2161.
    The Vulcans are a humanoid race from the planet Vulcan, which is about 16 light years from Earth. Vulcans are considered to be masters of logic who have found ways to suppress their violent emotions. Commander Spock is one of the most well-known Vulcans in the Star Trek universe.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a Star Trek themed party for all your family and friends. Have your guests come dressed as their favorite characters. Make cheese pierogis, one of the dishes made by characters celebrating the day on the show. Attend a Star Trek fan meet and meet other like-minded people. Hold a Start Trek viewing marathon. Greet everyone you meet on this day with the Vulcan salute. To do this, raise your hands with your palm facing outwards, and your thumb away from your hand. Part your middle and ring finger such that the index and middle finger are together and your ring and little finger are close to each other. Did You Know…
    …that the first First Contact Day was celebrated 315 years after the first contact on 2378?
     
    ***
     
    My friend John and I, determined to see the world, signed on a Norwegian freighter as deckhands. We were being trained as helmsmen, and John's first lesson was given by the mate, a seasoned but gentle white-haired seafarer. John was holding the heading he had been given, when the mate ordered, "Come starboard."
    Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard was, John left the helm and walked over to his instructor.
    The mate had an incredulous look on his face as the helm swung freely, but he merely asked politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
     
    ***
     
    While rummaging through her attic, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure about how to dispose of it, she called her parents. "Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mother added, "And Kathryn?"
    "Yes, Mom?"
    "Call first."  
     
    ***
     
    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending the Cheat River Festival in West Virginia. Just as I stopped to listen to a folk singer, a group of exhibitors, dragging out tools and sawhorses, began setting up their display booth nearby. All their shouting and hammering made it difficult to enjoy the music. The noise they made got louder and even more obnoxious and intrusive as time went on. Finally, to everyone's relief, they completed the construction. As a finishing touch, they hung a sign on their booth.
    It read "Silent Auction."  
     
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    Best Buddies
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    sandrewn
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