Hey Nicole!
I have a story to share with you.
My parents were born and raised in the Soviet Union, so their ideas of racism were quite different that us in the USA. But when I asked my mom what she thought about homosexuality, she replied that she wasn't sure, because she didn't know anything about it, but she thought that it was wrong, because that's what her mother had told her. So, I started reading up on the subject, and I came across a book called What if Someone I Know is Gay?, by Eric Marcus. I gave this book to my mom to read, and she got so into it that she stayed up until four in the morning engrossed in the writing. The book itself is basically divided into several topics, and is a big Question and Answer type of document, that answers many fundamental questions about the truths, myths, and pleasures of homosexuality, while also providing plenty of first hand experiences, both by parents and their children, and by friends who came out to each other.
After my mom had finished reading the book, she came to me, and said "This book has taught me so much! I see now that I was wrong to think that being gay is bad, because you can't do anything about it, and I was really touched by the stories that I read there."
It is then, that she had also read a letter that hinted at my being gay, so I knew that I had to talk to her about it, and I did. I came to her several days later, and sat down at the table. I told her that I loved her very much, and then I said "This may surprise you very much, but please don't get angry with me. I am gay. I hope this doesn't change anything between us, and I hope that we can still have the same healthy relationship we've been having all these years." To which my mom replied after a lengthy and uncomfortable pause,
"This surprises me very much. Had I not read the book that you gave me, I think I might have had a heart attack, or did something irrational! But since I have read the book, I can understand your situation, and I will do my best to support you with this problem. The only things that I'm sad about is that your life will be significantly harder, and that I won't have my own grandchildren."
All that is left now, is for my dad to read the book that worked miracles for my mom, and I will try to come out to him also, hoping for a similar result.
I hope I am not too late with this post, and that you will find a copy of the document and ask your parents to glance at it. I am persuaded that it will cusion your blow when you tell them of your orientation. Please know that the reason our dialogue sounds so corny is because we were speaking in Russian, and this is my best shot at a translation.
I wish you the best of luck, patience, and love, and I hope that all will go well for you and your family. I am happy to hear that you have a girlfriend, and I hope everything will work for you with her, also. I hope all this helps you out.
Hugs,
Tony
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