Thanks guys. It is what it is. It's sad but I've come to terms with the fact we'll never have a close relationship and that I need to grow up from that. It's mourning the relationship we could have had.
But in the last 2 years have opened myself to other people, I made new friends with who I have a strong friendship. I met my friend Deborah's parents only once but I have an open invite to come every weekends, I was even invite for Christmas and her mom even text me sometime just to say hi
I've also gotten closer with my brother and SIL. I get messages daily, mostly just stupid things on Instagram but still. And we call each other from time to time staying on the phone for over an hour!