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AceKebabs

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  1. AceKebabs

    I Rest My Case

    By AceKebabs,

    So, I was fumbling through my stuff, looking for the chip for a wireless mouse for my sister's new laptop when I stumbled upon loads of books I had when I was a 16 year old sausage. 
     
    One was filled with prototypes of my story Bffs with the occational weird fairytale-esque stories with talking cats and an angry little prince on rooftops escapades.
     
    But one book hit the feels real hard. 
     
    I had kept one notebook filled with my inner feelings and angry thoughts;of those one would expect to see in a teen. The angry verses and hateful phrases were based on the struggles that my family and I experienced some time ago (tho most of my struggles were OF my family). Every page was filled with curses and thoughts of death to all mankind with the occasional sarcastic praise to God's cruel game. At first, I thought it was funny, then disturbing and then it really hit me hard.
     
    The book was completely filled; with only a few more empty pages left. The last entry states my complaint on my seemingly lazy and useless siblings needing the most affection and attention. 
     
    With the last few pages left I thought I'd fill for the last time, my thoughts. But this time, instead of angry rants, I drew my conclusion. I simply hushed my former self and assured her that for all the years passed, things have finally gotten better. I assured her that she was capable of loving her family and that now, almost 6 years later, she does; and they her. And assured her that now she is working on a better future and is living comfortably with nice pretty things. I told her that she could now lay her anger to rest and she no longer have the need to despise God. All is well, and hopefully, the future will stay bright. I was finally able to sign the page with my true initials. I was at peace. 
     
  2. AceKebabs

    In Need Of An Ear? Lol

    By AceKebabs,

    Anyone up for an embarassing confession? I need advice on something. Not sure who I can confide in. Friends? Can't tell some of them and the ones I can stop replying lol. Definitely not family lol. PM me if you're curious or have the feeling to laugh at someone lol
  3. AceKebabs
    Hey there!
     
    It's been a while since I last updated and talked to anyone here. Well, a lot has been going on, especially in school. I barely have time to do anything, so yeah, long story short, I've been very busy recently.
     
    BUT, I'm currently on holiday now for the whole week. So, I may be around here chatting or doing more updates or replying messages that I've neglected (I'm so sorry for that). Keep a look out for me lol
  4. AceKebabs
    A lot to update actually this week but I'm too lazy to go into details To sum it up, I'll list them things instead.
     
    1. Braces boy and I got along great, his sassy side came bursting out in the debate in HIV
    2. Was angry at a friend whom I initially didn't like because she treats me like I'm her boyfriend or slave and never respect my time.
    3. Found out that my other friend and I have way too much in common it's AWESOME, but she still won't go karaoke with me
    4. Once again, my plans and my bestie from another faculty is ruined cuz I have a meeting with my supervisor who talks like a volcanic eruption in a whirlwind.
    5. Sat for my first test yesterday, judging from the faces of everyone else, looks like we are all in deep shit
    6. I'm starting to play The Sims 4 again
    7. I need a belt and shoelaces
  5. AceKebabs

    Who Is This Kid?

    By AceKebabs,

    Okay so I have been seeing alot of this kid's picture on the net recently. I was just wondering if he may be some kind of Youtuber maybe or something like that. Does anyone know?
     

  6. AceKebabs

    Update: 2Nd Week

    By AceKebabs,

    Monday is deemed to be the worst day of the week. Mine was especially horrible. I was called by the deputy dean and was given a penalty for not going to last week's stupid activity. I was told to once again, collect 20 signatures from my batch mates and also my seniors of year 2 to 5, plus all the nursing students from year 1 to 3. I was so pissed and I felt like I was being bullied, when I refused bullying. Last Saturday's activity was not only a complete waste of time, but it to me, it actually encourages bullying of the us juniors by seniors.
     
    My faculty actually gave permission and funded the whole session, where our seniors, especially those beastly second years who just had a taste of power, to throw eggs at us, make us wallow in mud like pigs, pour curry and vinegar on us, paint our faces with ink, splash us with cold water then dumped a whole load of flour on us. I have experienced all this in last, last Saturday's activity. It was stated that it was managed by the faculty, so I didn't expect such activities. But then, I was wrong. So, I made up my mind to not go for the next week's activity. Turns out that I made the right decision as my friends said it was worst and way more horrible than the one I did go to. But now, I have to pay the stupid penalty. I was so angry and broke down in my room. For the past 3 weeks in school, I have never been happy and I really hated everything then. Plus, I found out the following night that most of the Chinese seniors hated me for not going to their stupid outings (they were a bit racist as they want us Chinese to just stick with our own kind, which doesn't make sense cuz I'm not even fully Chinese and can't speak the language) and they were mad cuz they didn't get to throw eggs at me last Saturday. My so-called Buddy won't talk to me and wanted me to to do some stupid tasks before she'll give me soft copies of last year's lectures.
     
    By this time I was fed up. I simply ignored them and carry on with my life. I did the stupid penalty, finish all my assignments, and now I'm starting to feel happy I have found my group of friends, I've started my first Japanese class, which I really love, I paid for all my stuff, and I get to go home
  7. AceKebabs
    So, I was back on Wednesday night and I had trouble sleeping cuz my roomates wouldn't turn the lights off and had them on again way too early in the morning. I showed how annoyed I was, and it got better the following night.
     
    Had fun doing clinical lab work, the only class that does not seem to involve any stress. Found out that the seminar we were suppose to have in the late afternoon was actually BY us not FOR us. Turns out we have to organize a seminar and invite our lecturers to have them see us perform and allocate marks. Same thing for debate. Everything will be held on the 1st of October, a day before our monthly test. So, I will be very busy next week. But at least there is another holiday.
     
    Went to my bestie's room in another 'neighbourhood' and was completely culture shocked. The buildings were more like apartments and seem pretty neat...from the outside. The hallways were dark and eerie, and the facilities were...let's say 'well-used.' The only good thing about the whole area was the food court/market-like cafe that is livelier than most cafes around campus, excluding the main one at the library. I am more grateful for my room...and roomates after my short visit.
     
    P.S. found some interesting stories to read every night.
    P.S.S. I'm skipping tomorrow's activity due to the vulgar nature of it
    P.S.S.S. I've updated my sims 4 now I have all the stuff and game packs
  8. AceKebabs
    Update: 1st Week of Lecture
     
    First day of class doesn't really feel like class at all. Maybe it's because we had to sit through continous lectures mainly on how we should and can change our attitude and behavior and develope a more professional image blah blah blah. Surprisingly, the only person who stuck with me through out the day was someone from my foundation program last year that I honestly didn't really like. But she stood by me and I appreciate her company and there might be hope of us being actual friends lol. Talked to waffles the cute boy and found that hey we could be great friends if only we have more time and chance to be stuck together lol but no. Well, at least he remembers my name lol. Turns out I wasn't the only one who tought he was cute
     
    Went to a public speaking session, turns out it was a class. I was shocked to hear the guy say "I'll see you all next week." I thought it was only a one time thing, turns out it's a subject we have to take for the module. I have to write a speech on something I believe in and present it next week. I'm writing about pet adoptions; why adopting is better than purchasing. So far, it's my least favourite class lol not because I hate speaking, but I hate writing...long, factual, essays.
     
    Nothing too interesting happened this week, I sucked at my first presentation but it was cool. Tomorrow's a holiday and I'm currently at home now, so, I have time to update. We'll see what's in store for me for the rest of the week.
  9. AceKebabs

    Update

    By AceKebabs,

    Hello guys
     
    I know I haven't been around lately, and it sucks but I have been really busy at school. Well, not too busy, in a way. The main problem is I can rarely access GA due to it being blocked by the school's wifi system I could use my phone data, but it ran out Starting from next month tho I will be saving my data especially for GA and emergencies only and will fully take advantage of the school's wifi at all times
     
    So, here's a recent update of what's been going on this pass few days. I had been a little depressed because I couldn't find a group or a clique, or at least a person that I can really connect with and call a friend. Well, actually, I have a lot of friends, but they are all in different faculties (I lost my bestie to engineering well not really lost, it's just that it's so hard for us to meet we still text every night tho) and I do have friends in my own faculty. But not the kind of friends where you wait on each other in the morning, walk to the bus stop together, have meals together and gossip all night long. They were just...friends. People who I work and joke around with, sometimes.
     
    I did meet someone, but she didn't proof to be a potential buddy. I don't think she even remembers my existence. One day we do everything together, the next she completely forgets. Not that she is being mean or anything, it's just that...she seems empty inside. Almost brain dead lol And she's not really great company either. So, I'll pass.
     
    I had been very depressed the last few days because I still feel like I didn't belong, until....I finally decided to just go with the flow. No strings attached I got my work done on my own, I go to school in my own time, I did tedious tasks given by seniors alone (they are always surprised to see me knocking on their door asking for their signature alone while others would go in groups) and I enjoyed it. I get things done in my own time, and I don't have to drag/wait/worry/consider/spoon feed another being lol. But it doesn't mean I cut all ties with everyone else. I still greet and joke around with them, talk, but nothing too clingy.
     
    I decided to be positive about everyting and just go with it, and surprisingly, a lot of people came my way at the end. I was never actually alone througout the day. There's always someone or some clique that welcomed me. But of course, I didn't stay long. That's the beauty of going solo, you get to interact more with different people. Plus, I've finally talk to the cute boy with braces lol he sounds really sweet. A bit soft and gentle than the other guys, but he's alright. They treat him like their baby brother.
     
    When class starts next week, and we're finally divided into study groups, I'd be too busy to even think of being lonely. And if I'm lucky, I might make really good friends with my group mates (hopefully I'll be in the same group with Braces ) I just need a few days to adjust, and I'm sure I can handle things. I've done this before and I'll certainly do it again.
     
    The only thing that I will really miss is how my friends and I would usually just randomly hop onto buses and go to the mall and spend a fortune in games and karaoke
     
    That is all for now, and I will be on for the weekend, but starting on Monday, I may no be around again for the week. If I feel like it, I might make this a weekly kinda thing.
  10. AceKebabs

    Bts Supplies

    By AceKebabs,

    Okay, no more ranting this time around
     
    Some of you may or may not know my obsession with stationary and office supplies . And I am a HUGE fan of BTS Haul videos! And also the What's in my Pencil Case/Backpack videos.
     
    I really love watching the videos and seeing what students from all over the world would normally bring for school, though I mostly watched US/Canadian and Japanese ones and the occasional local ones.
     
    And after watching countless of videos, I realized that students in the US/Canada not only have to get their own supply, but also get supplies for the whole school/class like tissue, markers and glue? Now, for a foreigner, this is quite unusual. I know that students are normally given a list by their school of what to get for the year according to their grades and I'm often confused by some of the items listed. Like for example, a 9th grader (I believe is an equavelent to a 3rd of 4th former here and in British schools) is required to get one of those white, liquid-type glue that normally only kids would use? And crayons? Colored pencils? Is it for the whole school or themselves? Because I doubt a 9th grader would need crayons and school glue.
     
    And some random things like tissue and dry erase markers also confuses me. Tissues? Isn't that suppose to be a personal thing like, if you care to wipe to your nose or not lol. And dry erase markers as far as I'm concerned are usually provided by the school and I don't think students usually need them. So, I'm guessing it's maybe for the class, but aren't those things provided?
     
    Anyhow, I see and enjoy how different students there and where I come from prepare for the school year (usually we are only worried about getting uniforms and shoes ) I'd love to know more about students' routine in diffrent countries.
     
    P.S it's hard to find a supplies haul vid with a cute boy
    P.S.S For some of you who knew how hard I had to find a backpack, I finally got one! And it was on sale
    P.S.S.S Okay queerlings and Ex-queerlings, when are you back in school?
  11. AceKebabs

    Please

    By AceKebabs,

    I don't normally rant or care about sensitive issues, not on this site or anywhere else, but I am sick of it. And I don't care if I get banned or whatever cause if I have no rights to speak, then I don't want to be here.
     
    I am tired of hearing people complain about religion/religious being and what not. You people do realized there are some users here who believe in a certain religion. I know most people despised and would normally criticized religion/religious people because they most likely have bashed and condemned the gay community some time in any of their lives and yes, I understand why people dislike the very idea of religion.
     
    But please be reminded that people here have certain beliefs, and what the heck, we're on this site. Gay Authors. Obviously, we are not homophobes and are not here to condemn anyone and are on your side.
     
    So, I don't understand why would anyone belittle a religion and the very act of 'praying' when we obviously have good intentions. And what bothers me most is that it is supposed to against the rule. Yet, I see it is freely done in comments and such. It is simply brushed off. Okay, maybe is isn't as important as it is to some people, but I find this unfair. Sure, people can just laugh it off and passed it as silly. And that what angers me the most.
     
    The last place I expect to come across disrespect and intolerance is here. How do you expect people to respect you when you can't even respect others, especially those who respects and accepts you already.
     
    I am extremely upset and disappointed. What is wrong with praying? Even if it doesn't work, that's up to God.
  13. AceKebabs

    Just Another Day

    By AceKebabs,

    I think I might have inherited my mom's acting skills. Whenever my dad would yell at her, yeah, she'll yell back and get all upset, but then managed to go on like nothing ever happened. Even smile at the townsfolk and making small talk.
     
    I think I can do that too. I'll be laughing and joking around even after my sister goes crazy on me just because I was holding on something dear to me, and threatened to destroy it. It might not be much, sad even, but it's mine. And I'm happy with it. I was about to explode, but I managed to take a deep breath at the last moment and made a lame excuse to carry on with dinner 'cause I was hungry. In truth, I was a bit intimidated. And i had getting scared when I'm at my own home, where I should have the rights to speak. But we carried on, like nothing happened. It may seemed like I shrugged it off, but deep down, I'm badly injured. No tears could fall though. Because I've run dry.
     
    And it will carry on like this forever....and ever.
     
    Scratch that, I'm not completely dry...yet
  14. AceKebabs
    Freaking out over what is probably the millionth busted earphone did me some good. After tearing the wires apart and angrily dumping the bits into the trashcan, I went to take a shower and there I lost it. I don't know what set me off but I was feeling pretty shitty all day, so a meltdown was to be expected at some point. I whispered-yelled at myself about how miserable I am throughout the school break, unable to go anywhere and rotting my days off in the house that isn't even mine. Then I don't know how it happened, but my inner counselor kinda came out and told me you know what, if you wanna get through the 3 months of absolute boredom, you gotta have a goal. I thought about what I really wanted in life, but then realized it was impossible so then I came up with another solution; that is to set up small, realistic goals for myself each day. However small and meaningless those goals are, I have to write them down and remember to work on it.
     
    I started planning as early as that night, first thing; I gotta take a nap. I know I was cranky all day that's likely cuz i didn't get enough sleep. Okay a nap it is then.
    Next, find that one folder where I used to plan things and make mind maps to help me make decisions. This goal was not achievable because I think it's sealed in a box somewhere in the storeroom so no point trying to find it in all that mess. I settled with a notebook instead. Check!. Next, update this blog.
     
    The biggest goal and prolly something I have to keep up almost everyday is to write a new story. We'll see how that goes.
    Tomorrow's goal: get a fucking earphone!
     
    I guess freaking out does have its good side. In my most irrational and bratty state, I manage to motivate myself. I took a nap, had a great dinner, and now currently working on the story. And you're damn right imma get some earphones tomorrow!
  15. AceKebabs

    omg

    By AceKebabs,

    Okay so, here's the deal. I was just done working out at about 4:30 p.m. Despite sweating like a pig, I didn't go straight to the shower, instead, I hang around the house, wasting time, waiting for my sis to come home. I was alone at the time, and I need to open the gate for her. Seeing that I can't wait much longer, I close the front door as a signal that I'm busy and can't open the damn gate for anyone, so they'll have to do it themselves, and head to the bathroom. The heater was on and it was loud, plus, I was singing. I didn't hear my sis honking like hell and calling home several times. What the fuck was that all about! The timing is absolutely PERFECT!! My mom came home just in time to open the gate for her, and she was mad because I was in the shower????? For fuck sake!! I closed the damn door for a fucking reason!!!! Instead of honking and calling, why don't you open the gate on your own!!!! turns out bitch didn't have her keys with her! of all days!!!!! She always has it with her! and now, miraculously, she doesn't! Things can't get any better!!!! this is the not the first time shit like this happened. It happens all time. My horoscope says I may be having a heart attack this month, and I don't see why not if shit like this continues. I need to fucking get myself out of this goddamn pig sty! Can't get even a minute of privacy. Shits filled with pigs!
  16. AceKebabs

    House Guardians

    By AceKebabs,

    Okay,
     
    So, my sis had a weird dream one night about three people at our home. My brother ask if they were two guys and a woman. Surprisingly, my sister said they were. She said they were just standing around and staring at the furniture, the woman in my parents's room, one guy at the back door, but she can't tell where the other guy was. She assumed they were burglars, and actually talked to one of the many dogs around the house, asking it to guard the house. It talked back and promised to do so. However, our house was robbed somehow despite being guarded by the dog. The three guys showed up afterwards, and my sis yelled at them. Turns out they didn't rob us because they apologized and said that they will try to get our stuff back from whoever robbed our house. My sis woke up after that.
     
    My brother tried guessing what the three individuals look like, he guessed that one of the guys has really long hair, and the woman was dark-skinned with curly hair in a ponytail. He couldn't describe the other guy though. A shiver ran down my spine when my sis said that was exactly how they look like!
     
    Turns out my brother had dreamt of the three several times, with them being in the same position in the house, the woman in our parents room, the long-haired dude at the back door, and the other dude possibly guarding the front. He said that he once dreamt that the woman was observing our family documents and told him that my mom hasn't taken her pills yet. They seemed to be guarding the house and us.
     
    My brother seems to have the sixth sense because he tends to see a lot of things. He said that the three individuals in both my sis and his dreams might be our house guardians. I've read somewhere that every house has a spirit-like guardian, and apparently, ours is a trio of youngsters.
  17. AceKebabs

    Update

    By AceKebabs,

    A lot has been going on and it's been a while since I've been as active as I was before. Listing down the changes in my life seems easier than having to write it down in paragraphs.
     
    1. Just finishing my 1st year degree program in uni. Had 2 papers to resit by the end of the semester, but I nailed it.
     
    2. Finally signed up for a license at the DMV near uni, convenient since the goal is to drive to and from school. ( I should've done this ages ago but money was tight back then.)
     
    3. I have a few more days left before I have to go on a field trip for 10 friggin days. It wouln't be as bad if only I wasn't the group leader and have to deal with the whole planning of the trip and the activities. Thank god we have another week off before having to go back to school.
     
    4. Obsesed with YouTube gamers and Twitch streamers. (Vanoss, H20... etc.) and also video games on Steam.
     
    5. Saw a woman at a diner sitting alone waiting for her dessert writing on what looks to be her journal and got inspired to start journaling myself. I lost interest in writing for a long while now, but I thought instead of jumping straignt into writing a story, I decided to polish my writing skills by journaling and blogging. Plus, having a selection of cute notebooks motivates me. Only thing is, most of my thoughts are wicked so I'mma have to keep my journal from anybody.
  18. AceKebabs
    Okay, so I'm currently working on a little project that I have had in mind since...I'm not really sure how long I kept the idea in my head and I'm doing fine so far except when I realize I'm having trouble with my characters' POV
     
    A short explanation on how the story goes; two guys talking about the past in front of an audience. Originally I've decided to write in third person but was having trouble as I find my sentences to be bland and boring with a lot of 'he does this, he said that and so on...' (you get the idea) . So, I've rewritten the whole thing in first person view and to be honest, I was happier with the results because I was able to include a lot of my characters' feelings and thoughts. And, it adds to the word count, so my chapters were lengthy-er.
     
    The only problem is that it only hit me last night that this was suppose to be a two person thing , and I have been neglecting the other guy. Now, I know I can easily give him a few lines and dialogues to add his POV to the story telling, but (let's just put it this way) it's his show. So, I guess I should give him more air time (lol) .
     
    I've read several times how constantly switching POVs in a story kinda seemed unprofessional and sloppy etc. (though I personally don't think so) and I try to avoid doing that. Like I said, I thought I should add a little more dialogue where the 2nd guy gets to share and speak more. But I still feel it isn't enough. I thought about switching back to third person but I'd HATE to rewrite everything again. And I AM POSITIVE it will be BORING. I had written (and posted but soon deleted) a story here in third person but it was really bad. I cringed when I read it. I can tell my editor was frustrated with me. At the end I didn't finish it and bail. But I AM NOT planning on bailing this one.
     
    I've done bit of research in the writers' section to see what other people think about such problems and I have to say most of them either said to balance everything (which kinda is my problem to begin with, I can't 'effin balance shit) or to write in third person, focusing on one person at a time. And I absolutely agree with it. honestly, I don't understand some of the advises and suggestions there because I got confuse with the whole 3rd person limited and switch to 1st person and all that
     
    Now, I don't wanna sound like a cry-baby , but I honestly am fed up. I'm demotivated and I start questioning myself why am I doing this? For what exactly? If I want to play make believe and write a beautiful story than I should at least make myself, me as the author feel good about it first. And if people don't like it and felt that it's ​sloppy, amateur-ish, unprofessional, horrible, childish, badly executed, trash than they have every right to not read it. I should stop worrying about what people think about my work, and should start thinking how I feel about it. I mean, I'm no professional author and I don't plan to be . I just want to share a story but GOD I guess you can't please everyone.
     
    All in all, I've decided to just give the 2nd guy more speech. Oh wait...maybe I can give the chance to tell his story lol hahaha. I must be going crazy now lol. But yeah, I've decided to do what makes me feel good, isn't a lot of trouble, what I am comfortable with, and Isn't beyond my abilities
     

     
    Ace of Kebabs
     
    P.S I'll see if I'll post it here. I gotta get at least a few chapters done first so I wouldn't have to rush IF I decided I'm good to go.
    P.S.S I don't have a guide in in figuring out the whole plot. My only guide is my head and fingers
  19. AceKebabs

    Worst Morning Yet

    By AceKebabs,

    Okay, so today's friday and my class starts at 10 so i could get enough sleep and wont have to rush about like every other morning. So i took my time getting ready. I was tagging along a friend in his car for the ride to class and he said we're off at 9:50. Cool. No worries. But then my bestie texted me complaining that the friend that we're tagging along with asked him to finish the appendix of our report (all 3 of us are in the same group) at the very last minute (due date was that day). S'kay. Even tho my friend was complaining a lot he still managed to get it done. By that time it was already 10. We went up to his room and turns out he has not even print the report out and that took us another half an hour. Class has already started and another friend of ours was waiting down at the bus stop (she too was tagging along and is also one of our group member). No biggie. Being late was normal but damn were we in a rush! Plus the heat didnt help much. By the time we reached class (wasted another 10 minutes cuz we went to the wrong building at first) we were sweating like pigs and we're completely lost. Cool. No worries. Our final team mate was already there plus she's a genius and she covered the work for us. Now here's the worst part. When i finally got back to my room, i found out i left my keys inside and so i called and called my roomie until he finally answered saying he's on his way to the city.....i began to panic. Me and my bestie (he stayed by me even tho his mom is already waiting to take him home) actually tried to break the window grill so i can climb into my room and almost made it but then bless my roomate he came back for me. Omg....all that happened in one damn morning and thank god i've great friends and roomie XD thing is what's bothering me is that i know they'll prolly say you would've done the same thing for them, and of course i would!...at least for now....im afraid i'll forget in the long run and when they expect my help, i'll turn them down cuz i'd think it wasnt necessary...but but then again...i'll just try my best to be a good friend and roomie.
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