Formosa

Hm, I don't think it's possible to be sure that noone is going to want to read, let alone enjoy, a story you're working on. There are so many potential readers out there, with so many likes and dislikes, just as there are so many writers with their own unique way of writing and story telling. One way or another, the two (reader and writer) will meet. Like finding the right match in love/life I guess. It seems impossible, but it's very possible at the same time. When I started writing my story, I thought nobody would want to read my (literally MY) story. I was really hesitant and thought of giving up after the first one or two chapters. But the response I got was overwhelming. People from the strangest places wrote saying how much they can identify with the characters and the storyline, which was really a surprise, but then an encouragement as well to continue writing. As they say, you can please some people all the time, you can please every one some of the time, but you can't please everyone all the time. IMHO, even if I just reach out to one person and can touch his/her heart and mind, that's enough reason to keep on going. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of (gay/les/bi?) Star Wars fans out there who'd be thrilled to read fanfiction by a GA. It's enough you have a driving force. "Just do it", and the response will definitely be unexpected.

Hm, shocking to read about the 'fine print' on Nifty's incensing agreement...don't know how it escape me since that's the kind of thing I did at law school I started posting there because of the huge crowd all over the world, and it still is where I get most of my readers. So far I've not had much problem with Nifty, and they're always surprisingly fast posting my work (sometimes immediately!). Though when I posted my first chapter (which was a dream involving a adult-child sex scene), they initially put my story under "Stories involving Bondage, Control, S&M, and authority figures". I wasn't too happy about that, but managed to get it transfered to the "high school category" soon enough. It's true what Graeme pointed out about the fact that Nifty is an 'erotic' archive. My story isn't all that erotic either (no much sex, yet), and I'm surprised by the amount of mails from readers who say they like it more because it's different from all the others which seem to revolve around sex. >>About getting the story noticed, I have a blog and post story maps, pictures and background to my story on the blog. I find it's an effective way to attract 'stray' readers. But to be honest, when I started writing, reaching out to a whole lot of people wasn't what I wanted. I'd rather that my story is read by a few people who appreciate the work and see the fine details and symbolisms behind the words, than a whole horde who just rush through it in search of a little (s)excitement.

Thanks for the post. I've read the comment and appreciate it very much. >>Serious now, I agree writers should respond to any mail they receive, good or bad (flamers maybe). I find it helps build a relationship with the reader, and sort of give you an understanding what kind of people are reading, whihc in turn can help you get an idea what is 'expected' from you. I was surprised that many readers wrote back saying how much they identify with my story and the characters, and they go on to tell me their experiences. One or two online friendships developed this way. Some readers write back again after my reply, with even more suggestions and pointers. This is how I met my editor: we started out writing back and forth to each other, and he gave me lots of precious advice, and one day we 'clicked'.

Aha, thanks to Google and my googling, I guess i'm a little more cultured than before. Let me share my findings As the name suggests...candy that looks like booger. Surprising, not from the US.

"Boogers"? I'm 'googling' (verb use) as we speak...

Agree with people before: writers always want feedback, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. Flamers may annoy some people, but they could be ignored. Positive feedback can make the writer more confident, as it shows he's more or less on the right track and achieving what he set out to achieve, and therefore be more creative and motivated to write. Negative feedback can be helpful too, if it's constructive (so not just "it's crap", like John Prescott's comment on Bush's handling of the Middle East). Maybe something illogical in the plot, maybe the unrealistic turn of events or dialogue, maybe the poor grammar and spelling. Sometimes writers are so immersed in their own works they don't see the mistakes.These are all things that can help the writer improve his reading, and help the reader improve the reading experience. My editor once said reader-writer relationship is based on an mutual obligation: the writer has an obligation to produce something that is original and creative, and can touch people's hearts and minds; whereas the reader has an obligation to respond, review and reward the writer for the hard work in writing by expressing their opinions of the work. Most writers don't write for the sake of writing, but in the hope it being read. And readers don't read like dummies without at least having a reaction to what it is that they just read. So by all means, when readers read something, drop writers a line to tell them what you think, what you really think about the work. Problem I find is I always receive good feedback, saying how much people love my story and characters, and how they want more. Though I appreciate it, and it's encouraging, it doesn't really help me in making it better. Coincidentally, I got my first 'criticism' (if it can be called that, since it was very mild compared to all the good things he had to say) today, almost six months after starting to write, and I was thrilled! The guy pointed out something that seemed a little unrealistic, and I was glad since it hadn't occured to me. Finally, a flaw!

Love that spoof on Al-gebra. Al-gore should be careful in this day and age. And that other one on the lying clock made me almost choke on the chocolate I was munching on. What do people mean it's difficult to convert to metric? Mile>Km just divide by 0.6214 Pint>Litre just multiply by 3.7854 Pound>Kg just divide by 0.4536 It's elementary maths, not weapons of maths destruction!

Hi KetchupCola, So sorry to hear your (and some other people's) experience being kicked out. I can't say I went through something as terrible as that, but I did start living on my own when I was 13. I was lucky to have a roof over my head and the means to support myself, but some people I know weren't, and the stories I hear confirm what many have already mentioned about life on the streets. I guess you are lucky in a way to have someone like your aunt to fall back on, and I do hope that she will continue to be supportive and caring despite tensions with your parents. Again, I agree with others that being kicked out says more about your parents than about you. You were honest to yourself and to them, but they still live in denial, and hence the strong (and poor) reaction. If they were real parents who really cared and loved their son, nothing would change that relationship. One thing I've learnt is that sometimes the closest family may not be those you have the closest blood ties with...it may be a friend, a distant relative, or someone you just met. And home is not necessarily where you were born into, but somewhere where you feel comfortable and loved. And that is the most important thing in life: being comfortable with yourself and finding and being with people who love you for who you are. Just remember that whatever happens, you are not alone, and there will also be a way out, always be just something or someone around the corner to make terrible things less so. please take good care, and be true to yourself, David

Yeah to Firefox! I've been using it a while now, and don't for a minute miss the unpredictable crashes and slow processing time that Internet Explorer treated me to for years. Just love the tab function, which means I don't need to open and minimise all these annoying windows all the time. On my blog I can actually see who's using what browser, and though still a small minority, Firefox seems to be slowly gaining ground. One day, one day revolution will come... .

Hm, Europeans like to cling onto their pasts, whereas Americans tend to (try and) forget them. Which may be the reason why most Europeans think people on the other side of the ocean are 'less cultured'. I'm a few years older than ones born in 1988, but a lot of the names and things I've never even heard of. Which may make me the 'less cultured' one here...

I totally agree with what's been said already. It's such a personal letter, one filled with an outpouring of emotions and feelings that seem to have been hidden for a long time. All the detailed descriptions of the guy sleeping so soundly is a stark contrast to the complex thoughts and silent admiration "I" experiences. It took me sometime to realise what kind of letter it really was too, and that made the impact even greater. Though it was short, but so personal and powerful that at the end I felt like grabing ahold of "I" and telling him not to do anything...rash. Definitely refreshing fresh meat

Yeah, I agree. What I really love about this story is the simple exchange of dialogue between the characters, the flashbacks and lyrics that effectively and gradually reveal two different romances, one slow and painful to die, and one (I hope) that is so innocently and subtly about to bloom. Great work!

(spoiler warning! Don't read until you've read Spinning) It's a really great story, and can't wait for more. The "I" pulled me in from the beginning, like he's someone you know already and want to know more about because of the effectively way his clever thoughts, ramblings and life are revealed gradually. You really sympathise with him, his "self-imposed isolation", and hope he'll find something, or someone, he's been yearning for for a long time soon. And the descriptions of the surroundings are really beautifully done. Hm, there's definitely something about this Josh, something which seems to suggest he's more than "fortune cookie boy" or a guru on relationships and love. And that description of Josh in the third person probably adds to this suggestion. It's bitter-sweet to read the exchange between Jeff and Josh, it's like their talking about themselves, and sort of foreshadowing their relationship to come. And then there's the way Jeff looked at Josh, noticing the smallest details. But of course this is just speculation. In any case, I hope we readers are in for a good... ride Dezlboi also wrote another amazing piece called The Boy--definitely worth the effort to read!

Thanks to everyone for the great tips, and DomLuka for that link! It's definitely hepled me (and my editor) decide. I'm going for the idea of splitting the chapter into two, since (being cruel) we managed to find a great place to leave a cliffhanger effect. Not so much because of the length issue anymore, but more because 'it just feels right' (like so many in this and other post suggest). I guess the split also goes well with a dramatic change of mood swings in the chapter. You'll see, once it's up. >>>Yeah, it's up!

I've just finished the latest chapter of my story (Loving you, loving me) and have a question about the length of a chapter. So far all my chapters have been fairly short, averaging around 3000words, and the longest being around 5000. Nothing perhaps compared to other prolific writers out there. But in this next chapter a number of things take place, and some unresolved issues are dealt with. As it stands, it's around 14,000 words long, longer than anything I've written in one go (even my uni thesis wasn't this long!!). I'm just wondering whether that will be offputting and bore the reader? I'd like to think length doesn't matter, and that it's the quality that counts. But then this one chapter is really a lot longer than those chapters that have gone before, and I'm worried the readers might feel a little alien to reading so much (in terms of length and intensity of events and issues dealt with) in one go. I could cut the chapter in two, but that might disrupt the flow of things, and events that occur on that same night. Anyone with similar experience or advice? Thanks~ David

Well, the story I'm writing is very personal, and there are many bits in there which deal with my closest family and friends. I'd really like to share my writing with them, because I reveal a lot of thoughts and experiences that many of them probably do not know about (yet). If they knew about the things I went through and the way I think (all there in the story), then they'd get to understand me better. Besides, if they could read my stories, they'd know how good I can write (or so I heard...), and probably be proud of me. I always feel it's important for people around me to know about 'me', the ins and outs, the good and bad bits. If not, I feel like there's a barrier between us, and that I'm hiding. But unfortunately reality is that truth hurts, and sometimes it has to be hidden or twisted so that other people do not get hurt. There is one gay friend who I think has read my story, but he lives far away and hasn't said anything about it. There's another girl-friend who I think read it too, but she too didn't say anything. So, the majortiy of people who are reading my story are online, people I don't know and haven't met before.

Oh, how I wished I'd gotten this one! Dutch: (het) huis German: (das) Haus Mandarin: fang2 zi Taiwanese: zu4 The person below me doesn't wanna know why their sister's boyfriend was sleeping in her bed this morning while she was at class. Hmm, don't have a sister, but I do have a brother whose girlfriend was sleeping in his bed this morning...actually every morning, since she lives with us! The person below me is wondering why Isreal is not part of the 'Axis of Evil'. I wonder everyday.

AH! I just realised something: it's not 2029, but 2092! :wacko: Sorry for that misleading typo...and getting people's hopes (among other things) up. I guess it takes time for (wo)mankind to evolve into the sophisticated state of gayhood that we are already privileged to be in. Perhaps another reason to be proud. Soon people may start coming to us for advice on how to be gay I've been trying to find out where that research is, but there's nothing at all. It was reported in Winq (a gay-interest magazine in the Netherlands), and I didn't actually read it. Just saw a placard on the magazine's float yesterday (see pic). Hmmm, I wonder how everyone being gay will affect oil consumption... I don't actually live in A'dam, but The Hague, a bit to the south. A'dam is too touristy, crazy and smoky. I guess I had a good time, since it was my first (sweet memories...). Really enjoyed the whole atmosphere, and how for the past three days people can be as open and proud as they want to be. Seeing rainbow flags, cross dressers and gay couples kissing openly on the streets was in a way 'comforting'. But then again, I felt a little disappointed because of the amount of emphasis on sex, and sometimes outright provocative sexually-tinted behaviour I saw: as if sex is the only thing that defines us and differentiates us from the rest. Besides, probably would have been more fun if I went with someone (or came home with someone). It was not meant to be...

Just felt like sharing part of the craziness that's happening here in Amsterdam. Please visit my blog for pictures and more. Out of curiosity: how many people have been to such a gay pride, and what do people think about it?

I heard somewhere that dreams are supposed to be a way for your unconscious to deal with issues you're facing in daily life. I remember a period in my life when I was facing issues (abuse) from the past I 'd suppressed for a long time. I dreamt about these issues time and time again, each with different scenarios and imageries which probably only means something to me. After those dreams I was more able to face the past and more or less deal with them in real life. THen again, there are happy dreams too, or dreams of desire. We've all probably had wet dreams too I don't think scientists have quite figured out how the unconscious and conscious minds work or interact, but there's definitely some link there. A lot of our fears, joys, anxieties or wants are reflected in our dreams. When you focus too much on something, chances are you're likely to dream about it. I agree: not all dreams have a meaning, or can predict what the future holds. It's like horoscope, I guess. Good to know, but not something to cling onto as fact. Keep on dreaming!

I guess people write about teens (or at least younger people) because there's something remotely innocent and romantic about them. I mean teenage is really a time when the world seems to be boundless, when teens start exploring and discovering themselves and their budding sexualities. People in general seem to have a fascination with characters with one foot in childhood and one foot in adolesence. Something about the uncertainties, the embarrasements, the hidden blushes, first-time love and (s)experiences make teenage 'sexy' to read about. There does seem to be some (s)exciting about being young, and 'virgin' in life. I mean as a society we're so obsessed with youth and afraid of age(-ing). Some old(er) readers wrote to me saying that my writing allows them to relive their youth, something they still cling onto, if only in fiction, and dreams. Perhaps the way 'grown-ups' are confronted with harsh realities of modern life make the seemingly care-free and 'untainted' lives of t(w)eens so appealing. When you're young, it seems, everything and anything is possible. Boundaries lie where your imagination ends. And that in itself can be a very arousing form of 'erotica'. I'm writing about my own experiences as a teen, because personally I find nice to relive those memories. Depressing sometimes, to think back at the times past, but then comforting again to know I went through all that 'magic'. Perhaps it's that memory or feeling of the 'magic' of teenage that keep the hopes that I might find something just as special soon up. And I guess most people think this way, probably. But that's not to say adults or even old(er) people have less of a magical story to tell or to be written about. Regarless of how old we (or the characters in the stories) are, we're all just human beings looking to love and be loved.

THIS IS FUN! Hm, don't even have a car....but before that I seriously must invest in a license! The person below me caught a glimpse of someone today and thought "could s/he be?" I know I did...

I listen to music too...it's like part of my life and I don't go anywhere or do anything without it. When it's on, I feel alive. When it's off, I feel something is terribly missing. I even sleep and wake up to music (wonderful invention, clock-radio). Mostly when I do my writing I listen to 'soothing' orchestral music, which tends to be Enya or Enigma. I find they are so thought-provoking and emotionally evocative for some reason... I'm not sure if it's the simple but powerful lyrics, or the catchy flow of the music itself. It sort of recreates that 'butterfly-in-stomach' effect, those tingling sensations etc that you get when you're in love. And since I'm not in love now (alas), I need that substitute. Everything together helps to calm me down and I could just write, and write, and write. I also like songs too, especially those 'oldies but goodies' (Billy Joel, Elton John, and the like), sometimes 'newbies but goodies' (Savage Garden, Cranberries, Corrs). A lot of of songs have such meaningful lyrics that I use some of them as part of my story build up. Music inspires.

Hello everyone, I've been following the story a while, and joined to respond to this discussion about something that is 'close to heart'. I was really captured by the way ch11 was written, as it describes the whole process of being overwhelmed and struggle Connor had with the perpetrator and himself well. But I was a little disappointed though how the story then developed (though I still enjoy reading the story!). Ok, Connor was heavily sedated and still groggy for a while after the traumatic events, but then seemed to too quickly get ahold of himself (eg deepening friendships, having sexually-tinted fantansies/thoughts). I was bit surprised that thoguhts and memories of the rape didn't linger. Then again, like so many pointed out everyone responds to rape in a different one, and everyone processes the experience at different speeds. Perhaps the friendship and (Ryan's) love Connor was overwhelmed with afterwards, and also anxieties about his undecided future, did make him 'heal' and recover rapidly, or at least distract his attention from the terrible things that happened. From my personal experience one of the biggest effects of abuse/rape is that it silences you. It filled me with such shame and guilt (even though "it's not your fault", as the characters in the story have repeatedly said), and it really shut me away from the rest of the world. I felt so alone and robbed of everything, especially since the perpetrator was my elder brother (4yrs older), and since it all happened at home, seemingly the safest and most trusted place in a young boy's life. I don't know when it started or how long exactly it lasted (like Bobby wrote, there seems to be a mental block of events). Of course I didn't know what was happening or what it all meant at the time (naively, I just thought he peed on me), but then the realisation and recollection of the events after reaching puberty weighed me down, really really down. I'd grind my teeth at night, stay in bed and hid under the covers often, bite my nails (still do sometimes) incessantly, and have (still do) complete fear in interacting with strangers. In my mind, it seemed that every stranger I met was so much better, stronger, more beautiful etc than me (like Piesces Ring pointed out the power element in abuse leads to severe inferiority complex) , and I'd always suspect that their talking to me or being with me had 'ulterior motives' (ie take advantage of me). A gaze, a smile, a brief touch would all be interpreted as something sexual, and that is a very frightening feeling. Things are better now, after some councilling and learning Buddhist meditation. My parents don't know still, and I don't think I could ever tell them. And my brother has since apologised, and we're on sort of good (or better) terms now. But still, I'm a nervous wreck in front of people, especially big crowds...stuttering, inability to think coherently, discomfort with myself and my body, very conscious of how people look or seem to be judging me and my behaviour. I often feel like a failure, despite the fact I've actually achieved much more than my peers. I still have trouble liking myself, even though many people tell me I'm a caring and warm person. I just don't seem to (or want to?) believe it is possible. Intimate situations make me very uncomfortable, which was also why I broke it off with my ex even though he deeply loved me. It's strange, as deep inside I've always been longing for love and affection, but then push it away or don't even acknowledge it when it is offered. Sometimes I even wonder whether the fact that I like guys has anything to do with the fact that my first sexual experience was of a homosexual nature. Anyways, just wanted to add my thoughts on this. I'm not saying every rape victim, like Connor, should react like I did/do, but many of the post-traumatic stress disorders are shared, in one way or another. Feel free to respond~. And LittleBuddhaTW, keep that story going!! DC