mastershakeme

I like Mithras character! I liked watching him verbally spar with everyone in the room who was against him. He definitely has a way with speech and I was smiling a lot while I read this chapter. I liked how the 3 roomies got together to resist the charm and temptation of Mithras lol. This was my favorite chapter so far and that's because of the dialog! This was a nice, flowing scene with a little horror thrown in when the room goes cold and the lights go out! Fun read and you left us with another cliffhanger! Lol your a jerk!

Please tell me it's ok that I'm still confused who the Void queen is (besides being Anshar's sister)! But besides that, I enjoyed this chapter too. I agree, you are slowly rounding your characters out and there was a little more to chew on in this chapter. I'm definitely wanting to know who Mithras is in relation to his prisoner status and his dog form... I do think it was a little difficult to keep track of who's head we're seeing things from and we bounce around a lot. Take this with a grain of salt, but I don't think it would detract from your story if you just picked one or maybe two of the characters you want to follow closely and get in their heads! I liked the description and the setting a lot! I kinda imagined being in my rundown apartment and then Holy shit! The alarms are triggered! The apartment's about to become a war zone and the little doggy prisoner, who said they'd be sorry, finally has his day. I loved the past snippet in the beginning, because it confused me at first and I didn't know where or when that scene took place, but right at the end, we realize that the conversation we overhead is very important because now it seems like everybody is screwed and we're the only ones who know it! Yay! The perspective is a little off, but you are doing excellently with building the tension and I'm now anticipating the action to come! Good work!

Ok! I'm loving the dialogue! It's sharp and energetic and funny, too! The little banter between the friends is endearing, and even the prisoner (he's a Jack Terrier? How?) was interesting. I'm wondering if his threat in the beginning is going to be anything to worry about later. You introduced 5 important characters + the prisoner in less than 2000 words and I liked them all! I really enjoyed this beginning, it cut right to he action and the descriptions of the grolls was excellent! I looked grolls up on google and yikes! Jenson was crazy for trying to handle that on his own! He was so outnumbered! The switching between locations and characters reminded me of a movie. I could see this all playing out in my head. The dialogue kept me present and in the scene and you had some good and relevant setting details and character actions that drew me further into the plot. More description is never a bad thing imo though. For example, I'm still wondering what the boys look like. Ann was beautifully described. The imagery of her scales was interesting and i could vividly see her face... Maybe in the next chapter you will flesh out the boys some more. I will read more when I have a minute, you are talented! Happy to be working with you! I'd better get back to writing too, lol

That was a good start! Are you planning on adding more? I thought the brothers were chasing him because he drank from an animal though, I was wrong, lol. I'm trying to read a lot of short pieces lately so I can get the hang of it. I'm not very good at conveying a lot of emotion into a short story and I think this was a good example for me to read I liked the blood as lube too, lol. But stop drinking off cats! Poor cats are at least a little bit friendly...

Yes! That would be fun I'm so excited it's almost summer! I want to celebrate with fresh, vibrant food!

Honestly, I really want to eat healthier. It would take more effort, but getting some carrots from grandma shouldn't be such a luxury. There will be all kinds of different farmer markets in my area this summer. I just have to make a point to add more greens to the diet. The chemicals they put in our foods nowadays aren't things human beings should ever ingest. It's insane that it's allowable to mass produce crappy foods that over time, kill you, but it's my own fault... I'll stop complaining and make plans to change

I feel bad for your Mike! I'm definitely not a baker, but both I and my bf have sweet tooths. So, I've been through all kinds of different pies you get at the store if he's really got a craving, tell him to try the Sara Lee frozen pies, they're pretty good and no assembly required! Anyways, I don't have the funds to eat super healthy. I eat a lot of frozen junk and stuff out of boxes because it IS cheap. And if you don't have the time to cook, it's just easier. I swear they're trying to kill us poor people... My lovely grandmother sent some carrots, potatoes and Vandalia onions over last night! Yay! I have some meat thawing now, I'm going to make a roast! Grandma used to have a wonderful garden when I was growing up. She grew the tastiest cherry tomatoes and I'd run through her garden stuffing my face with the squishy little buggers. My face and shirt always had tomato juice smeared on it lol. I hope one day I can have a garden like hers...

Yep. I got scrivner because I thought I'd become a published author or something, because you know, the only thing missing is organization! But as of now, my files are scattered across 2 computers, my phone, Dropbox and Google drive.... My brains a mess, so is my project! It's ok though because disorder helps me. You have to go with what's good for you, but it never hurts to try something different

Ahhhaaa! Great pic. Yea, I marvel at and am jealous of the fantasy worlds other authors create. I 100 percent agree with you, of course it would be better to make your own universe, but I've never attempted to do that. Using Harry Potter's world or in your example, the Star Trek universe, is just a matter of damage control. I know I'll screw up inventing the detailed intricacies of a living breathing world, so I use one that's established. I hate cheating, so I never leave my comfort zone. Every story I write takes place in the real world... Im beginning to get a little sick of my own limitations...

Excellent start! I want friends like Ava! Hopefully we'll get another chapter soon

Ha! This is awesome. We've got matching writing files! I've got maybe 100 some word documents with incoherent paragraphs... brainstorming! My problem is that I feel my ideas too similar. I always feel like I'm running out of topics and all these files are just off-shoots from one dumb idea. I have 2 projects now, but omg I want to start another! I usually do one thing at a time though, so this is unusual for me. It's EXTREMELY difficult for me to write on one and then switch to the other. I'm switching up names and stuff, hell, one story is kinda violent and the other is fluffy, so out of nowhere the fluffy sex turns into BDSM and I barely even notice.... My betas probably think I have multi-personalities. I'm like your mom @robertlee. I like to work on one thing until it's finished. If something doesn't work, I just poke and prod at it until something I like comes out. Or I just take a break and think... I want an idea catcher, because I'm so afraid something valuable will slip right out of my grasp... AHHHHAHAHAHHAHA! Mad writer here! lol

At this point in my life, I'm really on the fence about fanfiction. I remember a friend of mine brought an insanely hot Inuyasha fanfic to middle school and we poured over the sex scenes for days (until our teacher confiscated it, how embarrassing!) I moved on to Harry Potter fanfics after that and was blown away by the detail the authors added to my already favorite J.K Rowling characters. I still read cannon, but the lines were forever blurred for me. It seemed like Rowling wasn't using her characters to their fullest potentials. I mean, Harry ending up with Ginny. SHOOT ME NOW! Snape dying alone, longing for Lily Evans? Sad. He should have ended up with Harry! Lol, idk. But anyways, I just went back to check on my all time favorite Harry Potter fanfic author and they WERE WHINING ABOUT HARRY POTTER STILL. What a strange position it must be, being a fanfiction author... I hope to god those amazing creators did some original work because it doesn't seem fair to me that I remember and love them for work they on someone else's story. I'm so sick of Harry Potter, but it inspired me to begin writing and posting... But god god, I'll never get stuck being some big shot author's underling. I'd rather stand on my own two feet...

That is INCREDIBLE. lol. I've never heard of fanfiction authors doing anything like that. Wow

Thank you! That explains everything

I've NEVER written a prompt! How do I do this? What's the max number of words and do I send it to Renee Stevens? When is the deadline? I'm sorry, I'm not sure if all these answers are elsewhere and I'm just being an idiot. Please slap me on the wrist if I'm wrong posting these questions...