mastershakeme

What proofing software do you use that flags passive voice? Because I need it! I used Microsoft Word to write for years and never knew I was doing anything wrong using passive voice... I didn't even know what it was until I got my first beta just over a year ago. She drilled me relentlessly on active voice and I thank her, because I know the difference now and even though I still use passive voice at times, I'm quick to fix my own mistakes 😀 This is a great example of how to fix the active/passive sentence structure. It's probably impossible to fix our habit instantly and completely, so just get in the habit of checking (using your amazing editing software 😛) for errors like the one above and give it the same simple fix! It's ok if you continue to find yourself using passive voice, none of us are perfect! Just make an active voice edit part of your regular editing process.

KIttY MAN!!!!!!!!!! @MrM Idk, he looks like he needs spanked hahaha!!!!!

I know.... I should stop hating on dogs. I'm the neediest bitch ever! have a feeling you know what I mean :-P Drama kitty cat!!!!!

@MrM I just screamed my head off. THAT WAS SO ADORABLE!!!!!! I used to have a huge boner for dogs, but the switch completely flipped when my bf brought one home. He did all the easy stuff like cuddling her and feeding her treats, but I got stuck with 3 times a day walking her and the disciplining her bad habits. The hassle just wasn't worth it for me. We found her a new home (a home with a lot of land for her to run in; we had her cooped up in an 1 bedroom apartment) and she's happy... I much prefer my two kitties. They're easy to manage, they aren't loud, and they can be left by themselves for 24 hours and everything is perfectly fine. Dogs are so needy and well, pathetic. They need way too much attention and maintenance. I've got a lot on my plate, I love have self-sufficient animals.

Notch

I'm not going to worry about it until I have something I'm ready to submit... It's great to gather some information and store it for later thou! I appreciate it

Yes I did!!! I'm still kinda new around here, so I'm always surprised by how... Outspoken the readers are here You've got some feisty friends!

These are all really good tips... I guess dreams, like any tool in writing, can be overused, overplayed, and well, cliched as hell So, use with caution! You should go ahead and challenge yourself with a dream sequence Or am I going to get you in trouble?? Sorry! I'll be quiet!

OMG!!! That link is awesome Wicked Witch! ROFL! @BHopper2 Ahhhh! I'm def not complaing about your dream sequence.... lol, I just saw Nic Cage's Next the other day where the whole seond half of the movie was a flipping dream! Oops. Spoiler alert! I thought I was a rebel for thinking Tolkien's books aren't the best examples of writing... Yay! I'm not alone! Love the movies! But I'm pretty sure i heard a teacher say that too once. That Tolkin wasn't actually a writer, he just had a grand idea for a story... Anyways! I'm not here to judge I hear ya... I'm not going to overdo it. But then again! i think i have an actual event planned to happen that my main character will think is a dream... ROFl!

Ok, yea... I've heard of Dreamspinner. I'm looking at it now actually... It seems like the guidelines are extremly lax, but I swear i heard someone say they were hard to get into. They probably don't like it when you've already had a story posted for free

Oh pfft! Who the heck says dreams aren't relevant to storytelling! I used a dream sequence for the first time in my story a while ago. I didn't think about it, i just did it! I used the dream sequence to reveal just a tiny bit more of the scifi element of my story which has been under wraps since the beginning. It was also used a little like a Freddy Kruger scare The only time I don't like dreams in stories is when the author tries, like really really tries, to get you to believe this dream is really happening, and then they pull the rug out from under you. That's not even fair!

Hey! This is also super helpful! Wow! I'm just blown away by anyone, both you and your mother in this instance, that have taken the big leap and risk of putting your work out into the world. I'm really taking my time. It took me years of secretive writing through high school to finally start sharing my stuff in college. I've been posting on AFF since Maybe 2013 but I just deleted all my old stuff so, idk maybe that wasn't the best move. I'm occasionally on this forum but I've been on AFF, hiding with my betas too long! Lol. Idk how to market, but I'm glad at least to kinda get an idea from what you said has worked for your mother... Thanks for sharing!

Yay! I didn't even have to ask, but I'm like a sponge right now, I'm trying to learn everything I can! I appreciate SO MUCH all that info you just dumped into my brain! Thanks Cia! I love real life experience It's fantastic to hear what has worked for you. Maybe if I keep raking in these little tidbits of knowledge, I'll be able to tell my own publishing story one day And don't mention 50k... That's not even fair Just one more question, because I think you straightened out the bulk of my confusion (for today anyway!) but what is DSP? Is that just another word for self publishing?

Hey! Whatever helps you get those thoughts down... And lol, your hand-drawing is pretty good Wicked Witch! Besides, if anyone wants to argue about the dang setting of your story, there you go! Crank that map out and you'll be looking like a boss

Don't mind me! I've just never thought about using fictional maps before... Weeee! That like a little world map in Sim City, but of course, your map tool is probably a little more comprehensive

Video game music FTW!

I like quiet too. The cats aren't loud or anything, but sometimes that worse, because in the middle of a great scene, it's completly quiet in the house, and then CRASH! BANG! and the cats come running out of the other room chasing each other. It's not like I have a choice, I have to see what they tore up now! Also, people try to talk to me while I'm writing. I mean, people around me at home! I can usually handle texts and stuff. But how am I supposed to concentrate guys with you yacking in my ear!! Ugh!!! Sometimes I have to put in earphones and listen to music. But it can't have any lyrics. That's very distracting. I usually listen to electronic. Something spacy... Boards of Canada anyone?

Ooooh, seriously? Well, we're good then

I recently talked to a published author on another site. She was with Torquere and told me about how awesome it was to be with a self publisher. Torquere is closed now, I guess, but she's still not going to self publish. She said there are costs that come with self publishing a QUALITY story and I'm sure you don't want to put out low quality stuff like the ones you mentioned on Amazon. I guess, as a last resort, self publishing isn't a terrible option. You should probably get an editor. And cover art... you have to pay for that too, right? This published author mentioned she didn't want writing to be an 'expensive hobby' and I agree... I may try to approch a publishing company in the near future.... Can you guys tell me... If you published a story on this site, something in the rules here forbids you from ever publisihing elsewhere for profit? I'm probably remembering wrong but I'm late for a doctor's appointment now. I have to run!!!

Yay!!! You know what? I saw this post and got nervous for @BHopper2... I'm currently in the midst of writing... and there's a HELL of a lot of shit going on in my personal life... and to top it off? I don't know if I should really mention it, but I'm in a weird romantical relationship (solely on my half ) with a beta on another site... And yeah... It's bleeding into my writing. He likes me and respects me and but doesn't want to ruin our friendship!!! Omg, I fucking live and breathe drama. Shit! There's going to be a FIGHT in my next chapter!!!! So, Idk, if my story is good, I guess it pays off to sometimes add some real life shit into your stories. It makes it real.... People eat that stuff up, or I do anyway. I'm obsessed with reality TV I've grown a little bit (ROFL!) but I was into that Twilight bullshit as a teenager. I'm just gonna shut up. I'm fucking embarassing myself.

Yay! I do that too. So you guys are talking about buliding fantasy worlds? Ooooh! I horribly fudged on Google Maps with a road trip in my story. I'm pretty sure I messed up time traveled and the distances. I'm not the best navigator in real life tbh lol. But if no one comments, I just assume it's alright. It'd be so neat to try buliding a fantasy world, though! Lol! It's mine! No one can judge me!

Hey The story I'm posting now, Parasitic Love, had a first draft... It wasn't complete, but omg I didn't like it! I didn't like the perspective, I didn't feel close enough to the characters. It was my first attempt at scifi and I kept trying to write from the 'alien' perspective and it just sounded really goofy and it definately LOOKED like my first attempt I abandoned it and moved on. I finished two other stories before I finally came back to PL. I read over my first attempt, brainstormed some ideas based on what I though didn't work. I majorly tweeked the characters, I made them more relatable to me. I changed the perspective entirely, I haven't yet and probaly won't attempt to take the 'alien' pespective in this version. In the past, I've bounced between my main two characters perspectives, but in this one, I stay ONLY with Connor, the human. So, in a way I limited myself, but it also adds a bit more realism to it, I suppose. You only get bits and pieces of the scifi at a time and they're all related to plot events, so it's more dramatic imo. Sorry I rambled about my story, I just find it easier to relate to things I've been through personally I find it easier, and I always like the overall tone much better when I write what I know. Give it a break. I agree with some of the other posters above, time helps develop a story. Let your plot linger in your brain. Maybe it'll take weeks, maybe it'll take years, but concentrate on what you want out of your story. Really. Don't get overwhelmed by thinking of the enormous edits and revisions to come, just let the story live and breathe in you! Lol! I sound flipping crazy Good luck @robertlee

LOVE the description of Ishtar! He's a scary guy lol and I like that Ashnar and Evan kinda team up . The first part is complete! Yay! That was a wild night lol and I'm definitely sure Jenson had no idea what he was getting into when he invited the transporters home... You kept the action and the descriptions really tense and tight and it worked so perfectly with the rising action as the night goes on and the battle with the white king is brought to and end... For now! I can't wait to start on the next part! I sense some pairing coming to fruition and the something big happening for the dragons and the wizards... This was a fun, fast read and I'll be back for more! Thank you @Israfil

Do you have more written? I'd be interested to read more, we can talk privately of course. lol. BUT... Very well done @Israfil on the 6 chapters you do have completed. From the first chapter to this one, I've seen some changes. I didn't like how many scene cuts you had in the first chapter, but liked the two or three different scenes in the other five chapters that you ended up going with. Your use of description and scenery throughout was great and you always did a great job of sucking me right into the story despite your short chapters. The characters were fun and their interactions were amusing to watch. I'm a romantic though... I'm always looking for more romance The magic in the last two chapters was awesome and you had a couple different, fantastical creatures peppered throughout the story that were a pleasure to meet. Hopefully, we can see the end of this sometime soon

So Jenson is explosively strong and he's also good at intricate and complex magic? Lol he's definitely the hero of this story. But then again, the ensuing battle between Evan and the intruder dragon lurking around outside the building is simply awesome! Very well done, the action was fast-paced and full of adrenaline. This was a quick read and a fun one too. We also finally got to see what the dragons look like! The description of the big lizard-like creature was truly a joy I mean, I love the how vibe the characters give off, like all this crazy stuff is completely normal! And it is, to them. The comic relief in the beginning was cute. Don't mess with dragons, for you taste crunchy and good with ketchup! Another great chapter, but you missed a little bit of formatting as you uploaded this one... No biggie, just a single line of Evan's thoughts aren't italicized and i think you had them marked correctly, it was just the uploading programy thing that screwed up. OK! I'll read the next chapter really quick.