I was married to a world class editor for 21 years... she was one of the judges for international newspaper awards. I picked up a lot of things those decades. Your imagination and plot line are admirable. Your character development (which is never easy in a short story) was flawless... I felt them. You are a very talented writer and I sincerely hope you continue to develop your craft... the world needs more great writers.
All the best,
Rod