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Mancunian

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  1. Mancunian

    It's That Time Of The Year

    By Mancunian,


    Christmas
    Yep, it's that time of the year. What time? I hear you ask. It is the time when we are either thinking about or trying not to think about Christmas. It's also the time when many charitable organisations get the begging bowl out. I've already had my begging bowl out, been around the usual local companies and a few more. I've been lucky and received donations and promises of help from all that I have approached, and I am grateful for everything that has been received and promised. Now I've got the begging bowl out again. But I'm not asking anyone here for anything and I do not want any of you to send, or enquire about sending anything. I'm rattling the bowl on behalf of the charitable organisations local to you. Yes, local to you. 
    As many know, I do what many others do and try to help people who find themselves homeless. What I'm asking is, what can you do? Can you afford to dig deep in your pockets and make a donation to a charity or shelter for homeless people near where you live? If you can then please give what you can afford, even if it's just the loose change in your pocket, they will be grateful for it and will use it wisely. Can you afford to give up some of your time? If you can then please volunteer to help them, they will be grateful for that too. Whatever you can give will be gratefully received, so please look up your local charities and organisations that help homeless people and donate to them whatever you can afford, whether it be time, money or both and if you can please continue to give throughout the year, homeless people need our help throughout the year, not just at Christmas time. 
    I thank you in advance on their behalf and wish you all a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, whichever applies to you and your beliefs. 
    I'll put the begging bowl away now, until next year, and thank you.
  2. Mancunian

    Why I joined GA and remain

    By Mancunian,


    thoughts and ideas
    When I joined GA it was as a result of an upsetting event in my own life and GA helped me to process that to a degree, I'm not going to go into any detail at this time but I may do so at some point in the future.
    I originally joined to read some of the stories that had and were being written at the time and I enjoyed doing just that. Soon I had a thought pop into my head which I decided to post as short story. I wasn't brilliant or researched but very spontaneous and received mixed but mainly good responses. Since then with encouragement from a few other members I published another short story, this time it was about homeless people and those who give up their own time working hard to help those who become homeless. The response was far better than I had any right to expect, there are much better authors than I can ever hope to be. This lead on to a longer follow-up and spin-off stories which for now, possibly permanently, have come to an end. This is largely as I've always considered myself a reader not a writer, something my old school teachers would confirm. 
    I have many ideas going around in my head for other stories to write, some expend on already existing series others are not, but I am undecided if I should continue writing. What ever I decide I will remain a member as I really appreciate and enjoy reading the stories that others produce.
    I sometimes wonder why others joined GA and why they remain a member, if anyone feels like sharing please do.
  3. Mancunian

    Respect

    By Mancunian,


    Homelessness
    Respect is something that we all try to show to others, and hope that others will treat us with respect. There is nothing wrong with that and it is something that we are taught from an early age One way in which we show respect is how we treat others, i.e. opening doors for those older than us or giving up our seat on a crowded bus for an elderly person or someone who has a physical disability. If you were taught this and practice it great, you are doing the right thing, thank you.
    Another way in which we show respect is how we address someone when we are talking to or about them and this has changed a lot of terminology that some of us were brought up with. We are now encouraged to use the term police officer in place of policeman as we do have female police officers, similarly with the term fire-fighter instead of fireman, we no longer have actors and actresses, they are all actors regardless of their gender. The changes in these forms of address are intended to be more respectful and inclusive and are widely accepted.
    In more recent years he/she and him/her have been extended to he/she/they and him/her/them to reflect an individual's gender identity. This is something that has been asked for, and in some cases demanded and fought for by people who consider themselves gender fluid or gender neutral. Most of us accept this as every individual has the right to be addressed in a way that feels appropriate to us as individuals and our gender identity and the use of the correct pronoun is an extension of how we show, and give respect.
    This all sounds fine and good and you may be wondering why I raise this in a blog. You are probably questioning and asking, what's your point? It's a good and fair question and brings me to the point of this blog. I volunteer and work with a marginalised group, no I'm not here to blow my own trumpet, I'm here to speak up for them. We all come across them from time to time and sometimes daily, who are they? They are Homeless People, often referred to as The Homeless, please note how I refer to Homeless People. I ask that we all think about this use of terminology as one is seen as derogatory and the other is not. What difference does it make? If you are a Homeless Person it can make a huge difference, I'll explain this from the point of view of a Homeless Person. If you can imagine yourself as being homeless while reading this.
    The Homeless - A disrespectful term - Are generally seen as hopeless lazy people who do not want to work and beg for money. Generally seen as lower than an animal as some eat food scraps from other leftover food often found in bins. Generally seen as thieves and dishonest, they will steal from decent folk without regret or remorse. Generally seen as drug addicts who will steal to feed a habit and will hurt you if they feel a need to. Generally seen as unworthy of respect they can be ridiculed and mistreated. Generally seen as having no rights. [This is what I was told by a Homeless Man. It reminds me of how we treated other sections of society in the past, and to some degree still do, and it is seen as unacceptable.] (I will accept that some people are homeless through choice but they are a minority. When I think about the question of honesty I also think about how many people are in prison for various forms of dishonesty, most of them are from the so-called decent section of society and were not homeless, they are simply greedy.)
    Homeless People/Person - A respectful term - Accepts that a Homeless Person is human and has feelings. Accepts that there are many different reasons for a person being homeless, it is not always avoidable due to individual circumstances. Accepts that a Homeless Person is worthy of respect and support. Accepts that a Homeless Person has rights. Accepts that a Homeless Person can be, and maybe, as decent, honest and trustworthy as the rest of society, they may just need the opportunity to prove this as Homeless People are always having to prove themselves when others are not. Accepts that not all Homeless People are alcoholics or drug addicts. [Again this is what I was told by a Homeless Man and I know he could have added more. He just wants to be seen as a person and treated with respect.]
    I ask that in future we stop using the following terms - The Homeless, One of The Homeless.
    Please use the following terms instead - Homeless People, Homeless Person.
    The Homeless =Disrespectful
    Homeless People/Person = Respectful
  4. Mancunian

    Reading My Own Earlier Stories

    By Mancunian,


    updating stories
    I don't know if any other authors do this, but I have recently been reading through my own earlier stories. They may - or may not, depending on you opinion - be basically good stories, but some have also made me cringe. Why? because some of the spelling and/or grammar is not good. As a result I've decided to check each of my earlier stories and try to correct any spelling and grammatical errors that I find. This will take me some time as I am currently writing and posting another story that is a part of The Lost Souls series and The Boot World. None of the stories are being changed, they are merely having errors corrected as best I can. Doing this it  has made me wonder, do any other authors do anything like this? And what do readers think when this sort of thing is done? If anyone would like to share their thoughts I'd love to read them.
  5. Mancunian

    Does The Pain Ever Go Away?

    By Mancunian,


    grief
    The title of this blog asks the question, but you will probably ask what pain am I talking about. I'm talking about the pain of loss and grief, losing someone who is close and means a great deal to you. It doesn't matter who you are, in time it is something that we all experience. Many of us have already experienced it, some of us are yet to experience it, it is not something any of us can escape.
    You may ask what is the significance of this blog, why bring this up now? Well I'll tell you and to be honest it's the irony of the significance of today for me.
    Four years ago today my father, passed away, he was in a coma following a stroke. My brother, sisters and I had to make the difficult decision to have his life support discontinued. He was a member of GA known as cognac69, he had only been a member for a short period of time and made some friends on GA, he believed he had longer to live and introduced me to the site. When he died it hit me hard and I didn't handle it very well, what had been minor mental health issues became magnified. It still surprises me how many people told me 'everything will be okay, you will get over it'. WTF, are some people for real, losing someone you love is not something you 'get over', you 'get over' a broken leg, you 'get over a cold'. You do not 'get over' losing parent or anyone else that you hold dear in your heart. The best that happens is that you become accustomed to the pain, you learn to deal with it without it holding you back - others may describe it differently, there is no right or wrong way to describe it - It takes time and there is no prescribed time as it is different for each of us. When I woke up this morning my heart felt heavy, no surprise considering the day, after a coffee and what little I could manage to eat I got on with the usual tasks at home tidying up. The weather has been dull and it has been raining most of the day, it has mirrored my mood. My father was cremated and his ashes were scattered on the graves of his parents and brother, so as usual on this day every year I went there to visit with them for a couple of hours, then I went to visit my mothers grave and sat there for a while. I remembered the good times and yes I did cry, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I miss both of my parents, even after they divorced they both remained in my life and they were friends. I miss my grandfather and remember him fondly with love. I can't say that I miss my grandmother, she died when I was of an age that don't remember her, but I do miss never having the opportunity to know her. I can't say that I miss my father's brother - my uncle - I never had the opportunity to know him as he died when and my father were sixteen years old. I know my father missed him, he always said that when Colin died a part of him died too. Anyway when my day at the cemetery ended I got back into my car and drove home, needless to say I was drenched from the rain and feeling somewhat morose. Arriving home I dried myself off and got into some dry warm clothes, made a coffee and decided to check GA, I'm always logged in even when I'm not actually on the site. There was a lot of notifications about stories that are in the last batch of the current anthology. Naturally I began to click on each notification, I clicked on one that was a reply to a chapter comment I'd left on one of the stories. When I read it the second sentence - "I took you on a sentimental journey, didn't I?" - struck me, at first I started to cry but then the crying turned to laughter and it felt quite cathartic. It struck me that today is the anniversary of my father passing and the anthology theme is 'Anniversary'. The stories have been a mixed bag of genres and interpretations of the theme, some have been happy anniversaries, and some not so happy, some are about the passing of loved ones. Even my own entry had been about the passing of a couple, it featured a car inspired by my fathers first car and conversations with him and some of his friends when they were alive. Maybe I'm warped in the head, I don't know, but I found the coincidences ironic and it made me laugh, I know that if my father could could have seen me laughing this afternoon, he would have laughed too at the irony of it.
    That brings me back to the question in the title of this blog, does the pain ever go away? Everybody's answer may be different but I've found my answer, no it doesn't it just becomes easier to bare, todays events and the current anthology stories have taught me that.

  6. Mancunian

    Is It Too Early To Talk About Christmas?

    By Mancunian,


    charity, christmas, help
    Well the blog title asks the question, so it too early to talk about Christmas? I hope not, but then this isn't necessarily what you think it's about.
    This isn't about my Christmas, well may be it is in a way, or even your Christmas, It's about what I and many other people have been doing lately and how it affects Christmas for others. Some of you may know that I volunteer with a local organisation that supports homeless people, as I'm currently not face to face with our clients I carry out many of the admin duties. The last few days have been taken up with end of month admin which is a pain, but for the last few weeks I've doing the rounds with the begging bowl approaching businesses that support us on a regular basis and others that I hope will support us.
    It's been a hard slog, the financial crisis that we are affected by has also affected many businesses, some of our support has been cut back and a few businesses that did support us have gone out of business, I'm hoping that some of the other businesses will come on board. You are no doubt wondering why I am posting this, well the answer is simple really, I'm rattling the begging bowl. No I'm not asking anyone to send me anything, so let's get that clear. Like I have already said I know that the current financial crisis has affected most of us and that is not good. But the same financial crisis has affected others far more seriously, the truth is many are now living below the poverty line, some have lost their jobs and others have lost their homes. It's not just adults that have been affected by this, there are many children suffering too. What I'm asking is can you help? If you can in whatever small way it is please look within your own community and/or look up local charities that help those in need in your area and contribute whatever you can. Even if it's only a few pounds/dollars it will help, if your local supermarket has a collection point for food for a local food bank any extra tins or packets of food will help them to help those that need it. All charitable organisations are struggling those in need so any donations will be gratefully accepted. Even all you can give is some of your time that's more than okay, volunteers are just as valuable.
    If you cannot afford to do so please don't feel bad, just do your best to get by, there is help out there if you need it.
    Thank you for reading this and if are in a position to help one of your local charities, on their behalf I thank you in advance.
     
     
  7. Mancunian
    This is about mental health, it's something that many of us find hard to talk about, especially us men. Not talking about it only tends to make things worse and for those of us experiencing difficulties it slows and can prevent recovery. This is just a small part of my experience, yes it's the better part I don't want to depress or bring anyone down with the bad parts.
    Today I'm feeling good about myself and that is a feeling that I'm experiencing more often lately, the days of feeling anxious and useless are getting less all of the time, it's been a while since I've felt this good about myself. Following a number of bad experiences in a short space of time my mental health went on a sharp downward spiral and sank to depths that I'd never experienced before, I even attempted to take my own life, I couldn't see anyway out. With the help of a very good therapist who didn't give up on me and the support of my family things are looking up. Yes there have been some setbacks on the way, some resulting in spending time in hospital, hopefully there will be no more setbacks but if there are I will deal with them.
    I had to give up my job and my voluntary work, this made me feel so bad I felt useless and worthless. After a long break and receiving the help and support that I needed things slowly started to turn around. I didn't feel capable of returning to work and I was not mentally ready for fit to return to the voluntary work that enjoyed. A few months ago I started to help with the admin work that the volunteers found held them back, no it isn't what I was used to and it isn't working face to face with people like I was used to, but re-established that connection and helped me feel better about myself. My fellow volunteers have been, and are, very supportive, as they say I have fried up more of their time to do valuable work with our clients. I don't know if I will work face to face with our clients again, I'd like to, but I know that what I am doing is valuable in itself which makes me feel good about myself. More recently I've been in touch with a friend who I met before my father passed away, he's a great guy and has also become supportive. We talked about his business which, like many, has been held back during the pandemic, his shop opened about six months before lockdown. He buys and sells a range of pre-owned items and is good at what he does and is just about breaking even or making a small profit. His business has been picking up in regard to computers, laptops, mobile phones, cameras, gaming consoles and allied items and that is where his knowledge is best, but jewellery and watches are his weak point and he has suffered a couple of large losses as a result. My father was a pawnbroker, he taught me and I enjoyed it, so now I'm putting that experience to use helping my friend. I'm not working full time and not working in a customer facing role, I've started to work as a self employed advisor and consultant. Once or twice a week I go to assess what jewellery has been purchased to value and prepare it for resale, while doing this I am trying to pass on my knowledge to my friend and his small staff team, if anyone wants to sell a high-end watch an appointment is made for them to bring it in when I am there to assess it. There are already some small signs that it is making a positive difference to his business, hopefully this will continue and gain pace.
    Between this and still being involved with my fellow volunteers I am increasingly feeling better about myself and experiencing more and more better days. So to re-iterate something I said earlier;- Today I'm feeling good about myself and that is a feeling that I'm experiencing more often lately.
    I've written this for my own benefit, seeing it in print makes it more real and I believe that the way I'm feeling will last, that's what I'm working on. I want others who are feeling bad about themselves or experiencing mental health problems to know that there can be better days and a light at the end of the tunnel, if I can do it so can others. With determination and being positive, with the right help and support anything is possible.
  8. Mancunian

    Why do some stories make us emotional?

    By Mancunian,


    thoughts and ideas
    Has anyone ever wondered why some stories make us emotional, you know what I mean it's when you feel choked up or the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, or maybe cloud your eyes with tears. That's not the only emotions that some stories make us feel emotions can be positive or negative, good or bad or any way you want to express the range of emotions. 
    I've just read a story that made me feel emotional, the truth is it actually made me cry. It sounds silly doesn't it and probably makes me sound like some kind of wuss. The story brought back memories from my childhood and no I didn't have a bad childhood, my siblings and I were privileged and grew up with good loving parents. The story reminded me of the last child that my parents fostered, as I stated in my chapter comment I'll only refer to him as P. P was the same age as me and when came to live with us he was very quiet and shy, daily he spent hours just sitting and looking out of the window and at night he had some of the most terrible nightmares, he often woke up crying drenched in sweat and urine. Although over time he opened up more during the day and often socialized with us, at night his nightmares  lessened but never went away.
    During the times that my health wasn't so good P spent a lot of time with me reading, playing board games and just being there like a good friend. When P 'left us' I missed him and yes I cried, I'm not ashamed to admit it. He was the first boy I 'experimented' with and I was very fond of him. After living with us for five years and at fourteen years of age unknown to us he made his 'decision'. I've never really understood until now, not until I read this particular story and in some it has been quite cathartic and has given me some closure to his 'leaving'. 
    It's an emotional read for me, if you want to read the story It was written by Tiffani Chin, @Tiff and is called Screams Taste Like Nectar. It is not P's story but there are a lot parallels to his. I don't know if this story or this post is of interest to others but I wanted to share this very insightful story and why it affected me.
     
  9. Mancunian

    Looking for something good to read on GA

    By Mancunian,


    thoughts and ideas
    I'm sure that most of us at times are looking for something good to read here on GA, I know that have been. What I decided to do about it may help others, some may already be doing this. When I click on the stories tab I then click on the filters tab that appears, from that drop down menu I click completed stories. This brings up all of the completed stories from the GA archive, it's helpful because then I'm not waiting for the next chapter of a story to be published. I've been working my way back from present day to the start of GA story archives reading stories that appeal to me, others may prefer to start from the first post and work forward. It's fun and it's interesting.
    I've come across some really good stories doing this that I may otherwise have missed, although I've not left much by way of chapter comments I have left my reactions to chapters and stories and left reviews to some that have really appealed to me. As a result I've also received a some nice messages from authors appreciating my reactions and reviews left, some have resulted in welcome conversations via messenger. It's definitely enriched my experience on GA and I'll keep on doing this for that reason.
    It's not an earth shattering idea but I thought that others may like and benefit from this very simple idea. Does anyone else have any other similar, or different , ideas that can help to benefit member enjoyment?
  10. Mancunian

    Reading Through The Archives

    By Mancunian,


    archives
    I mentioned in a previous blog entry that I was reading my way through the archives and enjoying some of the previously written stories. I was going from present day backwards but decided to change tack and went back to day one, I'm now reading from the earliest entries working my way forward. This is turning out to be a great experience which I am really enjoying.
    We all know that there are a lot of really good stories currently being written, for example CDMX by @Carlos Hazday is a great story and part of the CJ series is definitely a recommended read, as is the whole series. But most of us, new and older members, tend to ignore the archives. This means that a lot the older stories are not being read and enjoyed. There are some great stories stories in the archives just waiting to be read and enjoyed, one of the bigger stories Working It Out by @Don H in three parts is a great piece of work and there are many more longer stories by other authors too. There are also many shorter stories some only one chapter in length that very good and well worth reading, The Boy Next Door by @PlugInMatty, A Ghost Of Christmas Past by @Codey, Beneath The Surface and More Than I Remember both by @Comicality are just a few that I've read and really enjoyed, I recommend them to everyone. Of course there are a great many more by other authors that are equally as good a read but there are just too many to mention.
    What I'm trying to say is yes let's all keep reading the newer stories and those still in process, but let's not forget the gems that exist in the archives. Some may not have been read by many, they may not have many reactions, chapter comments or even reviews but they are still good and worth taking the time to read, you can still leave comments reactions and reviews for them if you want to. Try reading something that has not been written by one the popular authors and give a lesser known author a try, if you do I think many of us will be surprised at how much there is to enjoy. I think it will also give an understanding of how much many authors have improved over time and how much hard work many authors put into their writing.
    Well I hope at least some of you have read and enjoyed this post, if you have maybe you can recommend a story from the archives, if you have read something you have enjoyed share it and let us all know.
    Thanks for reading.
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