Wayne Gray

Sounds like that author had an acute case of self-importance. I don't get upset at comments often (I can only really recall it happening once) - and in the rare times I do it is because someone has pointedly pushed one of my "buttons". It's always a personal comment that does it, and not one concerned with the work. I'm not so enamored with my own work to think it can't be improved, and so far removed that I can't take a joke. Feel free to comment as you see fit. I appreciate it.

Lee is hurt badly, mostly from that infection. You're right that Avery would be so upset if Lee didn't make it, or if he loses his leg. But Avery helped so much when he did the right thing and told of his role in getting the drugs. He worked through his fear, and did it. We'll find out if it's enough. Thanks for reading and commenting, Butcher.

You're right, of course. Lee was hurt, scared, and in desperate need of something he recognized. In walks Eddie. Certainly, Eddie is a demon of Lee's past, but he's a demon Lee knows. More, he promised Lee more of that little pill that could take away the pain. Something that'd let him hide and avoid the hurt of both the physical and the mental anguish he suffered. But Lee walked away. I do think him limping was a good depiction of his mental state too ... but. He. Did. It. One shuffling step at a time. He did it. Lee is absolutely better for having known Avery and for the quiet power of the Campground. He is also changed from the slow trust Greg had invested in him. I never said it, but when Clay watches Greg with Lee, he is reminded of a father with a son - gently leading by example, and slowly investing in the younger man values and priorities. Yes, we all slip and struggle, and that happened here. But now, they're on the right paths. All are. I need my stories to be real within the constraints of the rules of the setting. In this, I'm writing as close to the real world as I can get. Some things are gritty and terrible, while others are sublimely beautiful. That mix makes the light so much brighter when it comes. Let's see what dawn brings. Thanks for the great comments, and for reading.

Oh yeah. Things really hit the fan in this one. It was one that kept hitting too. One thing after another. It wasn't called out by anybody, but I wanted to say something about Bill. Bill is a gentle guy. And when a gentle, kind man is SCREAMING it gets attention. When a man doesn't use that kind of voice and emotion a lot, it's so much more powerful. I know we don't know Bill all that well, but ... yeah. He was so scared and upset for Avery that he lost his mind just a little bit with Greg in the hospital. I love that sentiment. "... a little tail of hope..." I believe you're right. There's hope for Lee, Avery, and Greg too. We just need to hang on to that faith, and put a little trust in these people. Thanks for the nice comments, Tom. There's more on the way. See you next week.

Eddie is utterly unused to a Lee with a backbone. Someone he can't control is not someone he wants. Lee has proven himself "useless" to Eddie, and that may be his biggest accomplishment yet. Lee has had to be tough as hell, yet he's nearing the end of his endurance. He has struggled and fought, and here at what he thought was the end, we see Greg sweep in like a guilty guardian angel. Harlan ... he didn't know the particulars behind Lee and Avery's night. But he has the benefit of objectivity. He sees worth in Lee. Where Greg was blinded by emotion and pain, Harlan knew, deep down, Lee deserved mercy. That he deserved a chance. No, Harlan didn't have a crystal ball that told him what had happened. Instead, Harlan has instinct and insight. Greg does too ... but in that moment, he was in too much emotional pain to pay attention to them. Thanks, Parker. I appreciate your comments and the readership. 🙂

How horrible for your poor Nephew. I'm sorry to hear he has gone through such a thing. Please see the PM I just sent. Sent a PM instead of commenting more here, because PLOT.

Oh, put on notice, I see! Truly, I am asking for a lot of trust. I realize that. I know I'm asking for a lot. Yet, I do think the ends will justify the means. Keep reading along, and let me know how I do. Thanks, Kitt. I'm glad you're taking this one for a spin.

You make a good point about Lee and Avery - both of them. Each conquered a terrible demon they'd wrestled with. Avery's lack of self-worth stemmed from previous abuse by his biological family, then rejection by two foster homes. He found it so hard to think he could possibly be loved if he was any sort of bother to those caring for him. And here he is ... confessing something awful. But he did it. Then Lee. Our Broken Boy. Someway, somehow ... he said "NO" to the whisper of the tempter. To his entire old way of life and way of existing. How scary that was. How much strength that had to have taken for him. I try to get inside those I write - to feel what they do, to experience it all. And that moment was terrifying. Honestly? I don't know if I could have done what he did ... but he did it. That moment when Greg knelt at Lee's side, I'll admit that I made myself cry as Lee is staring up in disbelief. Even as Greg is carrying him away from that hell, he still can't wrap his mind around it. Yeah. That was one of those scenes I'm deeply proud of writing. I'm glad it spoke to you. Thanks for the comments.

Perfectly said. 😛

Harlan has an interesting way of cutting straight to the heart of things. He's a man who is an expert at hiding how he feels, yet the opposite rings true as well. With just a few words, he can hammer a point home in an elegantly destructive way. Huh. Elegantly Destructive. Yeah. That's a good description for Harlan overall. You may have known Avery would tell the truth, but what a trial that was for him. That pressed him like nothing he'd ever known. Yet, somehow he managed it. Lee is wounded in both body and spirit. And now, even in the moment of his potential salvation, he can't fathom that it could be real. Believing that Greg is just a dream. "There are no knights for people like me. There's only the dark." I heard that once, and though Lee never said those words, he lives them. Sorry about that cliff. Hopefully that rope we're dangling from holds, eh? Thanks for commenting and reading. 🙂

I know. I'm bad. :-s You got it. I won't reiterate what you said about all the players, because you got it. Mark's kindness in the cafe helped Lee along, and also Greg and Clay too, but really ... it's not about Mark. It's about all those others. I will add this - That moment with Avery, confessing his sin, flinging himself upon that alter of his foster parents' forgiveness ... When you think about that, when you consider that Avery had worked so very hard to never be a burden. To always be unseen and out of the way. How he spent three years scared of being rejected yet again, and sent right back into the care of the state. When you think about that? Then you know how hard that was for him, and how much courage it took for him to finally do it. With so much to lose, he still found a way. He's a good boy. I do feel there's good in this chapter. Yeah, there's a lot of tribulation, and a staggering amount of suffering - both physical and otherwise. But there's determination, a drive to do the right thing, and strength unknown to the one displaying it. Thanks for the great comments, and for reading. See you next week.

Great comments and analysis here. You're right concerning that turning point comment. There's so much happening, on so many fronts. I think about the panic in Greg when he realizes what he has done. How that mission in his head at the very start of the series screamed at him in that moment when he realized he'd driven Lee away - this poor soul who needed him more than anyone ever has. God. Thanks for commenting. There's more to come.

Thanks for the wonderful comments, James. Mark likes Lee. And the rather intense way Lee said "no police" when he offered to take Lee to the hospital made Mark believe calling them might have made things even worse. Probably not the best call, but it's the route he took. We'll have to see about Lee and that leg. I promise, answers are coming, and yes ... there are only two chapters to go. We'll get there.

That's a rather good summation of this chapter. Well done. 🙂 It's always wonderful to hear when my work can affect someone, so thank you for taking the time to comment. All you mentioned are things I wanted people to know and feel. And I know I sound like a broken record, but really ... I wanted Greg to show himself to be a human. He's flawed, but man ... he's also so good too. Then you've got Clay sticking with him, being a true partner in life. Feeling the futility of looking for Lee, but just doing it anyway - because that's what Greg needed from him. This is a hard chapter to read, but there's a lot of good here too.

Sorry about that :-s I don't set out to make people crazy, but apparently that's my mutant superpower. Thanks for commenting and reading. I appreciate that you'd take the time, and it's gratifying to know you and others like the work.

Thanks for reading and commenting. He has really done a number on himself, and it has been injured for two weeks. So we'll have to see how that plays out. And we will. Stick with me.

Thanks so much, tim. you little monster. 😛 Thanks for reading, and commenting. Brat!

Lee didn't quite get hit by a car. He got cut up by the road when he fell as he was getting out of a car's way. Regardless, he tore himself up good! But you're right about the heartbreak. Though, Avery conquered his fear to do the right thing. Greg admitted to himself he was wrong, and went after Lee. Lee found courage and refused to go back to his old life with Eddie. There are things to celebrate. Yes. Let's hope they found him in time. See you next week. And thanks for the comment!

Harlan knew something. He knew Lee was worth saving, no matter what. Greg in his state couldn't make the right choice, and Harlan knew that too. But yes - they did find him. They found him, and they're trying to help. Greg feels he made a horrible mistake, and he's trying to fix it all. I know! I'm sorry about the cliff! This chapter was already almost 5,000 words, and I kept trying to find a good spot to end it. Well ... you know how that worked out. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Ahhh, that line. Yeah. Greg had finally just allowed himself to believe and care for Lee, then to have what he thought was a betrayal of his trust happen ... it hurt him badly. He was still running on emotion, and you can tell. The "steady one" was off balance, hurting, and that's not his usual way. I'm happy to emotionally affect you. And it's likely I earned those curses! Thanks for reading and for the comments!

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. and Mr. Mercer." Jeremy hung his head. "I don't know how it happened, but Lee got his hands on some drugs. He must have pressured Avery into taking them." "Which?" Bill Mercer's tone was clipped, barely controlled. "Which drugs?" "OxyContin. It's a powerful opiate. Thanks to his habit, Lee has some resistance to its effects, but Avery doesn't." Jeremy’s forehead ran with nervous sweat. “That, and the doctors say Avery had an allergic reaction to the drug.” Anna

Yes. 😞 Sad, yet not surprising. It's just hard when it comes to mental health resources here. The stigma associated with mental health and addiction services is appalling, even from those running these insurance programs. Thanks for the comment, Fae. More to come tomorrow.

You're welcome. There are more options available out there if you have money and/or live in a more urban area. But really, you need money to get good mental health care where I'm located.

You make a lot of good points. We have a "two strikes" policy. If someone violates their patient contract twice, they're dis-enrolled so we can allow someone else in who might adhere to the program. Upon his initial arrival, Lee would have been utterly unsuited to the program. People have to want to be better, and Lee didn't. I know it sounds brutal, because it is. But we don't have other options due to how badly impacted the program is. Lee did recover quickly from the physical effects of withdraw. His physical dependence wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, since he never got as much OxyContin as he wanted. Eddie made sure he was constantly on the cusp, craving it. It was one more tool to control him, and a part of Lee's panic in not being able to get back to Eddie. The guys at the campground had no idea Avery would be the supplier of the drug to their little movie night gone wrong. Why would they? Far more likely Lee had gotten them from another camper passing through, given his history. They think they've got it figured out. THAT, really is their sin. They assumed, and they shouldn't have done that at all. But they're emotional, and people lose rationality when they're like that. Thanks for the great comments. I appreciate them. 🙂

Support for mental health and drug rehab is terribly difficult to find here. You can find counseling, if you're willing to wait. But not a single office here will take someone who isn't willing to go. As well ... I'm going to infer beyond your initial question. "Why not offer Lee counseling with rehab?" Pretty simple. They don't have access to it. There is a single program in Northern California (Del Norte County) that offers a drug treatment program (suboxone) paired with counseling. It's impacted (I know, because this clinic is in the system I help manage), and new applicants for the program take months to onboard due to it being the only game in town. Additionally, Lee would have to want to go. When they took him in, he wanted nothing to do with them. And really? If Lee had pushed it, Joseph would have had to either had him thrown in jail for assaulting an officer, or simply let him walk away. So long as Lee agreed to stay at the camp, Joseph told Lee he wouldn't turn him in. It'd be different if there were more resources here. There are not. I find it interesting that this situation seems so surreal to most people. How could a place like this exist in a country like the US? The short of it is reimbursement rates. Mental health is not profitable when your population is relatively poor and on government funded coverage plans (MediCal and MediCare). This is why our not-for-profit clinic is almost the only place in the county to offer mental health, and is the only Suboxone treatment center. So for the guys at the campground to try and make up the difference, it's a bit like asking a paramedic to do open heart surgery. You do the best you can, but things are likely not going to end up going well. Thanks for the comments. They're good ones, because it lets me remind people how very far we've got to go in what is supposed to be a civilized place.