Just reading this story and it reminds me of my bestfriend. We did a lot of stuff. We pushed both ourselves to oir limits. Now, he's married to his wife, without a child, for a year and a half now.
When we are alone, he would try to apologize for his actions. I never reacted the same way like the protagonist, but it still hurts. I know my friend is only suppressing his feelings for me, I know him for 12 years and I am seventeen now. It hurts. Being strung for almost a decade is the worst.