Christopher

ROMANTICS 2 PRAGMATICS 0

Guess that makes two Okiegrads binge reading. Haha!

Austin, the great sage! Sometimes, often times, people come into and through our lives that mold us and shape us into who we are today. I can see Austin, Roberto, and Hutch are Corbin's molders at this juncture. Finally the clay is getting a little less watery, more moldeable, and is beginning to form into the impressive individual he has the opportunity to become. No one could've said it any better than himself, when with David, Corbin acknowledged he was maturing, taking accountability, ownership, and responsibility of his actions. This is the Corbin - a fine young man - that one would hope one day he would grow into. The prassy, sassy, chug-a-lug is finally growing up. Though, I wonder, would Pete have made it to this point on his own? When insects are drawn to a light do they really have a choice? One might argue yes but the reality is that when two magnets are in proximity of each other, there is a force that cannot be denied. I actually think and believe that had Pete and Corbin met and just allowed the friendship / relationship to evolve along a natural progression that Pete might have been more open to a loving, enveloping, caring, nurturing mate than the often hateful, reactive, bitchy bitch that he encountered all too often. Peter was scared shitless and confused about the boner moaner in his pants after he kissed Corbin the first time and it sure didn't help instill any confidence for Corbin to rip him a new asshole when he was already disturbed by what had occurred. All that would do would be to make one withdraw even farther from the feelings that he may have had in the first place. I think Pavlov reiterated that for every college freshman through his reinforcement studies. All that said, I'm glad we are where we are, moving forward in a positive manner. Definitely looking forward to seeing who's sitting on Corbin's bed. Is it Pete? Possibly. Is it David, still there? Very likely. Is it Lee, to scratch an itch? Practically. Maybe it's Mike? A little too early yet. Lastly, Nick? For amends? So I wonder what it is that Pete wants to talk about since the Freshmen are occupied, Nick has pledge duties, Mike's still in lockdown, and, from Corbin's intuition, Peter would've been at the dinning hall during the time he was there ... except he was the surprise, in private, sitting on Corbin's bed, waiting .... Yes, enquiring minds want to know

Well, Hutch has been tainted and honestly, I would've expected more from him. He seemed like someone that was above all that. Guess he got drug into it whether he liked it or not. Honesty just isn't a trait I see going here. On another note, while the sexual adventures of Corbin got my ass pounced on, I stand by a HUGE different between the sex we see here between Corbin and David and the sex Corbin had in previous chapters. Sex there was just "using" someone for Corbin's own gratification or need. In this chapter, the sex Corbin had with David was something completely different - it was a bonding, truthful, mutual, no hidden agenda that the reader is made aware of. A great read and so glad we're getting out of the mire hatred and more into what caught my attention in beginning to read storyline - the emotional tie the writer envelopes the readers into having with characters. Maybe the reason I despised the bitter-bitch Corbin chapters is because those aren't feelings I'm accustomed to or try to emulate. Definitely beginning to like David more and more and the new path Corbin and Pete are taking. For once, Corbin is having a conscience about the actions he's taking. While not completely, based on the venomous engagement with Hutch, much better. Refreshing and reading on.

And this is the chapter I've been waiting for. Sure, some may call me a hopeless romantic and chide fun at that aspect of human nature but that doesn't mean one loses their brain in the process. Pete is my kinda guy, a feeler and a thinker. I agree wholeheartedly with his words about loathing Corbin, I too detested his actions toward Peter ... not even once considering the internal turmoil that Pete was going through inside. When someone comes to terms with themself, it's not anyone else's timeline that that occurs, it's that individuals. Also, spineless people that out others because "they" feel that's what should be done. Shame on you! Pete couldn't have said it any better, "I refuse to succumb to that and get stuck in a decision you forced me into making!" Basically Corbin, and everyone else that has demanded someone move on their agenda, go shove it up your ass. After I clear my head, if you're still in the picture, so be it. If not, it wasn't worth the time of day anyway because of your selfish, self-centered, all about you ways. Sure, like everyone I hope that the relationship between Corbin and Pete work out and they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, as much as we love someone, sometimes we have to let them go to see what the future holds for both. Kinda of like Letters to Juliet and the years it took for Claire and Lorenzo to finally come together regardless of what happened those many years ago in 1957. The beauty is that in that very wake, as a firefly sparkling in the night, comes another very natural togetherness - Sophie and Charlie. So yes, someone may chide hopeless romantic and not being realistic in todays world but I'd rebut, I'd rather live a hopeless warm romantic and happy than a calculated cold pragmatic and bitter one. It's quite evident that Corbin and Peter care deeply for each other by the heartfelt caring, concern, and love that was shared in that recovery room. The question remains whether tearing down those walls of dishonesty can now lend to building back up the fortress of love. We shall see!

HUTCH, once again, shows the leadership and mental fortitude as a leader instead of a lame-ass. As tense as the relationship has been between Dom and Corbin, one can't really begrudge Corbin for the leverage move he played against Dom. Had it been anyone else, Hutch for example, I'm hoping Corbin would've just shared as a brother would. Of course, if you act like a stoic jackass the entire time - which Dom pretty much has been presented as - asking a favor is really a bitch ... especially when it's from the one person you've ostracized the whole time because you're a homophobic asshat. My question, how does one go 3 1/2 years without getting a little ... that's just unheard of. Says a couple of things loud and clear - he's a lazyass, a dumbass, or just an ass in general...

Good gawd! Loathing, self-destructive, wallowing, self-centered, obnoxious ... need I even go on because the dictionary is full of the words to describe Corbin in this chapter and the last few. I've honestly never seen a person act in this manner. To put others down to make themself feel better. Talk about friends, Hutch and all them should win awards to try to intervene instead of just telling him to go fuck himself and kick him to the curb. I think I might've just said fuck-off to Corbin and left it at that. How on earth is anyone friends that lashes out that much? I'm holding my breath he makes a 180 soon ... for everyone's sake!

Oh gawd, not another "this is the one for me" replay from Corbin. Seriously Corb, is commitment even in your vocabulary? I honestly think Pete is now the lucky one because had you and he started a relationship, you would've cheated on him at least 3 times in the last 3 days. Pete doesn't deserve that. To try and justify it by saying it was for the fraternity, for the good of mankind, for the sake of the universe, really now, how far does justification go when you're screwing everything that moves???

WOW! What can I say except I didn't see that coming. Nick a bottom??? Corbin a top??? Pete not even in the picture??? What happened to the paraphrase if you come with everything, I'll drop everything no matter who I'm with and be with you? And this manipulation bullshit that Corbin has going on ... if this is the kind of seniors we're production out of IFC, no wonder the world is so fkn screwed up! Everyone trying to manipulate everyone else without giving a rats ass about giving back genuinely or caring about others genuinely. If Nick's job is to "entertain" Corbin and never let it get boring, kind of pathetic don't ya think when a grown ass man can't entertain himself. The word squirrel comes to mind when I read about Corbin ... not enough attention or investment to stick around long enough to see what happens before getting smacked by a car. No offense but come on Corbin, you're better than that. Pete, step up. Nick, stop being the enabler. We won't even talk about Mike at this point who is still in jail.

UGH, not again. Hell, I don't know who's more on the roller coaster, Corbin and Pete or the reader. Just when one thinks there's a possibility of a future together, one or the other of these two take a 45 degree nose dive from 45,000 feet up with no turnout in site until almost on the ground. Sure, Nick and Corbin have good sex and the motions are present ... for one of them. This is going to be a rerun though of those two in the middle of a passionate sex scene and Corbin is going to scream Pete's name again. Sure, your dick can get hard at anyone but your heart only thumps at the one you love ... and, for each of them, it's Corbin and Pete. Albeit Pete is a little late recognizing fully what and who are making his thumper and humper tick the loudest and hardest.

Oh boy, to say the first part of this chapter was unbearable is an understatement. Truly, it's unfathomable to me how anyone so deeply in love with someone could just casually have sex with the first thing that comes along. Albeit, Nick sounds like a hunk of man that would swoon anyone, Corbin being in true emotional straits between love and loneliness, I just don't understand. The last thing I've observed of others and felt during a rough patch in relationships - beginning, middle, or end - is isolation. Not bump humping with hunk-junk. Then, we finally get to the talk. Sure, Kelly Clarkson's song is the perfect backdrop to their entire relationship, what was the substance of the talk. In the text Pete said "I love you" yet when they were talking and Corbin asked "do you love me", Pete's response was "I don't know." WTH kind of answer is that after sending a text that he's been thinking. Sure, he admitted that he had feelings for Corbin and said "I feel ways that are new for me and I don't know where to file or sort those feelings" but what does that mean. Just an over analogy on my part, when compartmentalizing, I go back to my earlier assessment in suggesting that Pete was hurt at some point in his life and, in order to protect himself from getting hurt again, he files or sorts feelings into different compartments to be easily forgotten and managed. I tend to think that his feelings for Corbin are so overwhelming that he truly doesn't know what to do with them. "Love makes us act like we are fools" and Pete, Corbin, you're both acting like fools at the moment. Take a bit of advice, both of you, "how wonderful life is now that you're in the world" and stop fkn it up!

OH HELL!!! Corbin, Corbin, Corbin, how stupid can you be??? The man you love just told you he love's you and you still take Nick back to your room. Are you really fkn kidding me??? You whine and bitch and moan to all the brothers and to the readers through 29 chapters and you're willing to fk it all up over one fk. OMG, truly, if I were Hutch (the one who usually has common sense during these times), I'd so be kicking you in the ass right now for your stupidity it wouldn't even be funny. Pete finally says yes and you allow Nick to be balls deep in you. Literally banging my head against the wall right now. Literally, 40% of the population can think abstractly. No wonder i'm pissed off 60% of the time ... like now .... at you! Hmpf!

Well that's a full on pile of shit! Good gawd, one doesn't do the heavy lip lock with someone unless they DO love them. WTH Pete, why don't you love Corbin. What you saw was probably the first and only time you'll ever see the real him baring his soul, bawling in public. Like the line in the movie Latter Days where Christian tells Aaron "You want revelations engraved in gold and angels trumpeting down from heaven. What if this is it instead? Me telling you I love you, right here in the snow? I think that is pretty miraculous." I mean come on, really? You know you love the guy, just get on with it. Being honest with yourself, who you'll hurt isn't him, it's you and that scares the shit out of you! I think you're afraid your heart will ruin you when you have to head back to the UK and leave Corbin behind and you don't want either one of you to feel that heartache. Believe me, I know what leaving a partner in the UK is like after dating a guy for 3 years, flying back and forth across the pond every two weeks, and then having your heart ripped out because neither place could recognize gay marriage at the time. Bawling so hard on the way home that their first class flight attendant just sat the wine bottle down in front of you and a glass. That watching The Holiday together in the bed at the hotel on Park Lane and both realizing it couldn't last regardless of fairy tale endings. Sure Pete, we all know heartache but Corbin isn't just anyone to discount without at least giving it a go. Your arse better get with the program during the next chapter and grow some bollocks!

Hahaha! Easy, got married at 1pm on Saturday, off to the airport for the honeymoon, showering in the hotel (alone) before jetting away, came to the realization I liked dick better than Hoo-haw. Packed up, and made the call to have it annulled that day at 8pm - 7 hours later. I remember the realization like it was yesterday and the umps it took to make that - sparing everyone a greater deal of hurt and heartache later had the charade continued. The real kicker in the nuts was my father - an attorney - made me pay for the legal process and filings to be completed - which he did. Honestly, I think he was laughing the whole time because he and my mother had already told me multiple times that if I didn't think it was what I wanted I could stop it at anytime. When he asked me if there was a consummation, for the legal jargon, we both just belly laughed! I'm sure the secretary heard it in the dictation and laughed along with us. Oh well, better late than never. C'est la vie. LOL!!! LOL!!!

In reading these chapters, I sometimes wonder, even though he's given a brief history of his homelife, if Corbin comes from a totalitarian home where love and affection are as absent from the home as any real communication and sharing. Granted, his sister did say she loved him and was there for him at the airport drop-off but, though she said it, it seemed labored. Additionally, when Corbin exited the car, that's all there was - like getting out of a cab. Hell, when I drop off a family member at the airport - especially if they're going to be gone for a while - I'm like a good Italian, expressive and whaling my love and affections for them begging them to reconsider leaving and coming back sooner. LOL!!! (No disrespect meant to my Italian friends for the over dramatization! But the visual was in your head nonetheless.) Now, to the movie scene, My Best Friends Wedding, how appropriate to broach the subject of love. WTH? Pete seems to have a personality that loves and attaches deeply yet is so hesitant to really plunge in. It's as though he attached to someone very early in life, someone very close to him, and they left. A pain that is very difficult to get over when it comes to allowing someone to get that close to you again. So, if we have Corbin on one hand that doesn't really know how to express a honest and depthful love - only one of ambiguity and surface - while on the other hand we have Pete who is quite the opposite when it comes to love - a deep and abiding river of truth - one has to wonder where this hope will take both characters. Quoting a line from the movie Threesome, when Stephen Baldwin tells Josh Charles, "what you need is dick - big, hard, dick!" This might be the perfect line that Pete needs to hear to jump. Gawd knows Corbin doesn't need to hear it, he's already jumped on so many it's like the revolving door that used to be on my house. Thank gawd that thing is gone! LOL!!!

FINALLY, some civility between Pete and Corbin. Dom is such a prick for what he did to Mike intentionally to get back at Corbin for whatever reason - probably his repressed homophobia that has to be veiled lest he look like the jackass he really seems to be. I mean really, what party did anyone go to in college where there wasn't a least one or two fights breakout and everyone kissed and made up? Sure, things got heated a bit but even between rivalry schools, you didn't call, whine, and try to ruin someones future just because your weiner was too small. JEEZ! Anyways, back to Corbin and Pete, Dakota surprised me with her maturity and resolve to get the two love birds to talking again. Call it intuition or caring, I truly believe she cares about these two guys and, like every reader, can see that where they belong - to be the happiest - is with each other. Hell, it doesn't take Einstein to see that in every chapter. I was saddened for Mike though, he's got a lot of shit dumped on him just for caring about Corbin and wanting to get his rocks off. Though, as much as a band-aid hurts ripping it off, the "I could have changed my life for you" would have been a slow peal of the band-aid for the rest of his life if he was always longing for someone else. Kind of like a gay guy getting married to a woman always having the repressed feelings for men. It has to come out somewhere at sometime. Thankfully I woke up early enough and was only married for seven hours! LOL!!!! LOL!!!

Finally, some honesty and civility between Pete and Corbin. What a breath of fresh air for the human kindness side Corbin and Pete's willingness to listen but also to share. Honestly, a sad history from both parties that carried enough baggage to a relationship to be the cargo hold on a cruise line. Dominick shows up being a back-stabbing bitch as always while Mike seems to be taken out of the picture for a while. The confusing parts is, did Corbin really think Mike would be welcome back at the house after that altercation? Hell, I know someone wouldn't be welcome in my home had they hit a guest - regardless how anyone felt toward that guest positive or negative. Oh well, fingers crossed that Corbin and Peter can dump their baggage overboard long enough to rekindle a friendship that obviously both of them need - balance and serenity.

Wow, not even sure where to begin with this chapter, it tends to go from bitch to bitchier. I honestly cannot imagine two people being so vile to each other as Corbin and Pete are being to each other right now. ... and WTH happened with Mike at the end??? Talk about taking the verbally abusive to the physical level. Being an optimist, I'm hoping that Corbin begins developing better relationships skills with everyone instead of lashing out at every opportunity and, for Pete, well, self reflection and growth would be nice.

Two things came to mind when reading this chapter. First, a quote from Carlos Manuel, "Sex with another man is good, but sex with the man you love is beyond comparison." I wouldn't be referring to Mike with that quote either. Second, if you ever say you truly love someone and mean it, hate never comes into play. Corbin truly is a disappointment in this chapter. Not because he spent an amazing weekend with Mike - whom I truly feel sad for because he's only being used - but because of the hatred he has toward people he says he cares about deeply. The comment to Amanda, totally inappropriate and disrespectful. If Corbin is hurt by her befriending Pete, he needs to explain 'I feel hurt because of you action', not lash out in hatred and vile toward her. In regards to Pete, OMG, even if someone deep down loved Corbin, as I believe Pete does, how could he bring himself to love someone who is so unpredictable and verbally abusive when they don't get their way. Can one only imagine what would happen if Corbin were in a LTR and didn't get his Frosted Flakes but instead got Post Toasties? No excuse for that kind of behavior toward anyone - a friend or especially the one you say you love.

Heartbroken.

I honestly needed this chapter ... right up until the end. The kiss that ends all kisses. Kissing the man you love until your lips are so raw from his stubble that it hurts and you still want more. The honesty of 'I think about you when you aren't there' and falling for you. Yet, another lie has caused a mistrust. Whether it's driving to Flagstaff to see a longtime friend - wanting to fk him knowing you can't because you're in a relationship, or lying to Pete because you already committed to an event with Mike all the while only wanting to be with there person you truly love. Either way, the ending is never good. Come on Corbin, help Pete to trust you and stop fkn it up at every turn. You're ignoring the clean water to bathe in the sewage. Forest and trees, same difference. lol

OMG, you've got to LUV Corbin! He's either screwing the pooch or screwing the hooch but either way, Dom is a complete jackass and gay guy flattened his ass right on the ground with embarassment in front of an entire committee. How could someone who totally lacks any insight ever be elected to a position or leadership. Never mind, I think we've all lived that for the last several years. Anyways, my heart broke for Pete though - in a foreign land, away from friends and family, with only acquaintances on Parents Weekend, and the one person he calls and wants to be with is Corbin who is so obviously salivating for Mikey's bone after the BBQ. Truly, if Corbin needs to apologize to anyone, it's Pete for pressuring him to be something more than a friend at the moment. Who knows what their future holds but truly, a one and done is so lame when you have someone with such depth reaching out and wanting you. Though, props to Mike for reaching out and inviting Corbin to an event where one can't image that questions wouldn't be raised regarding the choice to bring another male instead of a female. Though, one has to wonder as well if Mikey is wanting to bone Corbin's BBQ as much Corbin wants the sauce as well. Twenty chapters in and couldn't be more pleased with the quality of writing, intrigue, and emotion involved. DAMN!

Talk about a burnt out, spoiled rotten bitch with pathetic parents that raised an entitled whore! Fuming to say the least after reading this chapter!!! While I don't agree with Corbin's assessment of power in fear, I do agree with his assessment of his article. How can someone go in public, get fingered up the wahoo, and then expect to be treated as if they did nothing wrong. I agree with Corbin, the disgust that the entire party had to endure was thoughtless and disrespectful to the entire group who had to endure that grotesque public act. For Corbin to write about it in the paper, with no liable whatsoever, and then to be called on the carpet by a pompous ass Dean who thinks more of herself than anyone else, is pathetic. It's quite evident of the narcissism and egotism the Dean has based on the display of all her credentials that scream at anyone entering her office - oh look at me and what I've accomplished and, because of my position now, how much power I wield. That, to be frank, is an pathetic excuse for a Dean. Speaking of pathetic, the parents that called the Dean to complain ... really after your daughter acted like a complete whore in public. Medicine is bitter when you fuck up and the burn when peeing is only the reminder. Those parents, when teaching accountability, should've give that kid a good ass whoopin, given the hard lessons of life, and told to apologize to every party attendee that she disrespected. Thank gawd there's a dick like Mike's at the ready when you need support and everyone else has their shriveled dicks up their pompous asses. Gawd, steam is still coming from my ears!

Momma always said 'never tell a lie ... it'll come back and bite you in the ass!' LOL!!!! LOL!!! OMG, I totally laughed out loud when reading Lee's comment to all the brothers on the porch. I can only imagine the expression on Corbin's face when he said that and what went through his mind ... something like "fk, I'm screwed"! lol Sticky handed for sure and couldn't help but belly laugh again when Corbin said "So, I recycled one!" One step forward in saving the planet and recycling! LOL!!! LOL!! Oh, and the "I'm not gay" by Pete doesn't fly anymore ...especially when 'show tune sally' showed up and the whole Moulin Rouge duet was belted out on the back porch! Hahahaha!!!! But come on Pete, it was a chance of a lifetime just to kiss him, and you failed again. How could one even miss an opportunity like that, straight or gay, a kiss after that scene is almost mandated. <banging my head against the wall> I could help but feel sadness for Mike though during this chapter ... poor guy probably just come to terms with liking dick and Corbin just literally kicked him in the balls when he was wanting to progress further. Hell, who could keep up with Corbin's mood swings? One day he wants to hump and pump with a happy ever after relationship and the next he's tossed them to the wind and bumping and grinding with the new flirt tease because he's frustrated. Hell, it's enough to make any persons head spin. Oh, and he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. How the hell is he a Junior with the maturity of a 9th grader? LOL!!! LOL!!

GAWD, hit the nail on the head, "sex drives people crazy"!!! What moment has one had where that deep connection inside just causes one to lose it, regardless of boundaries of the relationship clearly set, and then mope about it for the next week? Hell, definitely raising my hand here. Everyone needs a friend like Roberto though - someone that brings sanity and wisdom without being accusatory. ...and OMG, WTH with Corbin f'n things up again at the front door??? All the while Pete's trying to be as honest as he can at the moment with “Look, I don’t know what this is all about. All I know is I like hanging out with you.” I mean really, Pete is obviously still coming to terms with his feelings and emotions - what straight guy dances the two-step with a gay guy privately in his room? None that I know of. Corbin, give it a rest man or you're gonna fk it all up! ...and then the ball drops ... "he's right over there!" <DEEP BREATHS!!!> Then, out of nowhere do you see the fast ball coming to slap you in the face. Well, the best way to get over one or two is to be with someone else. Who the hell would've thought it would've been him though. Come on Corbin, I know the need but dude, you lost some status on that one.