Who4m1

Mmmh, I suppose that depends a bit on the people you surround yourself with. Personally, I can say that I'm pretty sure I know who my real friends are. And I trust at least most of those. Real friends are on the first front concerned with your happiness. So if they have a somewhat good judgement, they will be able to see, if you have a good partner that makes you happy. And if they do not really get along with one of those partners, they will at least try. On the other hand with a potential partner it should be similar. If he cares about you and your friend is good for you, then he will try to get along with him. And I do think that civil people that try to get along with each other always will be able to do that at least on some level. Therefore an acceptable state should be reached that way. Also the chances are pretty good that after a little bit of trying they will start to actually get along with each other, because after all they both are your friends and that usually makes already some similar interests and opinions. (After all it's actually not that hard to grow on one another.) However, of course this doesn't mean that a perfect level will be reached, but I think it usually would be a level that you could be content with. Nevertheless, that is the idealistic version. Since there always can be flaws, some bad situations can develop. Personally, I trust my friends that they have a good judgement, when they even should start to judge. Because as long as there are no major flaws and I'm happy, they really have not enough reason to be against this partnership. But on the other hand you may be that lovestruck that you can't really see clear and your new love may just be a dick and not the right person for you. In that case it actually is the duty of real friends to warn you and make you aware of that. That may be not a nice situation and it could lead to a few heated moments. But it would be important. And it would be a good indicator to take a step back and try to get a clear picture of the situation. There is a possibility it could end up bad and you would be forced to decide for one, then it really just depends on my picture of the situation and it could go both ways. I would just have to hope to make the right decision in that case. However, as mentioned before I have the trust that I'm pretty sure that my friends only would only mention concerns in a loud and meaningful way, if they are really clear to people that see the situation clear. So I would definitely take those concerns very serious. In the end those would be the extreme cases though. In most scenarios my friends would just arrange themselves with my new partner. And maybe they would critizise some specifics of my behaviour. Because if I were to take up some bad habits or exaggerate with some behaviour due to my enthusiasm, they would and should mention that. That is the right thing and we often need a little bit help with self reflection to adjust a few things. Nonetheless that's far from attacking my new partner or express serious concerns about our partnership. (The other way around with the partner mentioning aspects of my behaviour in connection with my friends and him would be similar.) Overall, I think that it usually would only come to this situation if I'm an idiot. I'd hope that I would be able to realize that with some help (and by taking the concerns serious) then. Could always come to the point also though that you find out that one of your friends (or your new partner) have not really enough maturity to deal with those issues accordingly. You would just have to hope that they overcome their shadows then (or if it were to go really really bad, to be happy that you found out their true face and are free bad influences – that would be the real extreme case though). I think that all above sums the central aspects of my view of such situations up. Situations always can be very specific and special though. Hope you had a nice time reading and wish you a good day. Who4m1

Well, I had something similar to a prom, but the couple thing was not really that big there. Most people just went with their families anyway and didn't really have a partner. It was pretty great and fun though, but probably just different to a real prom. (And so I - like many others - just didn't have a partner, but still had fun. ) The way it was this whole discussion/topic just didn't really come up though there.

That with your uncle really sucks. And with your cousing as well. But we will stay strong and make it through, together as a society. Best wishes to you, your family and everyone else who reads this.

I always got a little bit nervous when it came to Halloween. It never really was my thing. I didn't like getting scared and I absolutely hated clowns. And by that I do not really mean the clowns in the circus, but the scary ones. Do you remember those horror clown pranks that were trending a while back? I always feared that I could be targeted for one of those, because that would have been hell for me. I didn't tell many people about it, because some would just see it as invitation to customize

Memories of a special Halloween evening from a teenager.

Well, I always liked reading (although that doesn't mean you always have/take the time for it). At some point I wanted to read a few more stories about gay people. Due to that I found gayauthors, liked some of the stories there and read a lot there for the next while. There are really some jewels there. (Although sometimes stories can also be heartbreaking.) One funny thing: I mostly searched for completed stories, because I didn't want to read a story without an end, where you would have to wait for updates with pauses between them, if you want to know how the story continues - I definitely came to the right place here. 😄 I think the first story, after which I decided to look up more stories from that particular author was Connor's best. At that point I realized the similar style with some other stories and that I liked it. It definitely were those (completed ) "daydream" short stories that brought me here (like "Connor's Best", "Boy Valentine" and "Written"). After that it was a fun game to play "Have I read that?" - "And do I know that?" Of course I still hadn't read the majority of Comsie's work. (I mean, more than 6 million words...) But there were quite a few stories that I recognized. I realized for example that I knew "My Only Escape" already. It didn't take too long and I had found the community behind it and started to participate a bit. Sometimes it is really funny, that I'm really new in comparison to like almost everyone here. Let's hope the best for the future of the shack. Who4m1

No, I don't have anything I regret there. But it's always an interesting question, how people make their decisions on things like that. There are people that just try everything and realize then what they like and what they don't like. And trying things out is good. Sometimes it is necassary to know what you even want. But that way you will have some experiences that will not go to as you expected, some even bad. Having some of these always is just a part of life. If you regret them or are glad that you learned something is dependant on the specific experience and another interesting question. On the other hand you do not need to try out everything. I think that actually, if you really think about it, you can estimate many things pretty well. On some topics there will still be uncertainty and you should not be afraid of trying new things. It is necassary. Nevertheless think about it, before you do. You do not need to place your hand on the hot oven to know that it is hot and will hurt you, if you place your hand there. In some situations the outcome is just really clear if you think about it. There still should be the benefit of doubt, but if it's clear that you don't like something, you do not need to do it. At the same time you also have to estimate the possible consequences. How bad can something go? Tasting just a little bit of some new food will usually give you neither health problems nor nightmares. Getting into a relationship with an abusive person to see if it might go well can be a really really bad idea. We can never be entirely sure, how something will go. And we should - we need to try new things out. Avoiding that entirely is a bad idea. Even just trying something to know for sure afterwards, that it is not your thing can be extremely valuable. But it always is a good idea to use our common sense. Don't brood too long about things, but take a moment before you decide. Don't let it stop you from doing new things, maybe crazy things, but try to avoid the things that certainly will end bad or injure you heavily. Those were some general thoughts of mine. And at the same time it is bad to overthink things. Some may be contradicting, but you always need to find the right middle. Sometimes really funny to see how different people handle those things. Part of me feels like what I wrote was not much more than hot air, but there may be some truth in there. Hope you are having a good time wherever you are. Who4m1

Sweet, sweet chapter. A few nice jokes and then a classic cliff hanger. ^^

Ah, break ups. Interesting topic – and another one where I have not really much experience. I hope not too much of it will be added in the future. I think there are different approaches on that. Some people just do things and find themselves in the same relationship after two or three break-ups. But I am not such a person. Before I make an important decision, I think well about it. I am not hasty. And breaking up is a big thing for me. Usually I would not get together again with someone that I had a breakup with before. It possibly is just a bad idea and led by strong situational emotions that are not enough to sustain a relationship for long. For me there would be really few situations where I would do it. However, there are exceptions. You have to look at each example individually. And the important factor for that usually is the reason or the reasons for the break up. You can sort of try to build a case for getting back together and the question you have to ask then is “Why will that reason/those reasons not cause the same to happen again?“. And I would only really think about getting back together with that person, when I can answer that question well. When I can sort of prove to myself why that is not likely to happen again. And for many of the possible reasons it is diffccult to do this. If the reason is “We just stopped to love each other.“, well then I would think that can easily happen again. For many other reasons like personality issues with the other person it would be similar for me. However, there is a huge gray area there. In my opinion people definitely are able to change. That is no question for me. And if you were completely certain, that the person you broke up changed about the thing that caused you to break up, (and everything else is fitting) then you could get back together again. But everyone will say that he has changed and I think that few people actually change. So just believing them instantly will send you on a path of much hurt, because those problems are likely to resurface again. So you should be really sceptical about it and not believe them unless you have strong reasons to believe them. What makes it even more difficult is that it usually is a mix of reasons. Most issues can be worked out, if both sides really want to. A break up can be an indicator that there are more areas of the relationship that are in a bad state. Maybe the love simply is not that strong. I think that in general, if you broke up before, then it is likely to happen again. That's why I usually would not get back together. That may sound a bit harsh for some. But as I said there are different approaches. For me it would take a lot to break up in the first place. And if I believe I'm in a relationship with my “the one“ and he loves me, too, then I would just not break up. Almost everything can be solved in some way. Now you are usually not completely sure about that. That's the nature of things. But I would not break up with someone without good reason. I believe that on most things people deserve a second chance. If jealousy is a problem, then you can talk about it and try to solve it together. On some things you just have to work. But if both persons want to, then it rarely is a real reason for a breakup. However there definitely are a few lines that you just should not cross. And if the other person is important enough for you, then you will not cross them. (Just as a random note here: Honesty is huge and really important thing for me between people that truly care about each other.) A breakup is huge and usually hurts. I wouldn't do that thoughtless. And on the other hand if you broke up with me, the scenario is similar of course. If you want to get back together you have to explain precisely why you broke up with me and why that won't happen again. And if you can't, I won't go back to you, even if I still like you. (Sometimes it can be good to take a pause for a while, you do not always have to break up.) But as said, there are exceptions. Sometimes there is just real character development going on. Some just do not know what they want when they are young. And for gay people there is this angst and coming out-phase that can cause a break up, where it can be worth to get back together later. There can be good reasons. Occasions on that a broken up couple really should get back together. And there are good stories that illustrate nice examples for that. An interesting example that every person of modern pop culture should know ;), is the main story line of “How I met your mother“. (Spoilers to that series ahead) Because the protagonist Ted is in a relationship with Robin a few times. In the series they always break up again and always for (more or less) the same reason: Ted wants to have children. Robin does not really want to have children and wants to pursue her carreer. Otherwise they are a good couple and love each other, but that is an issue they can't really solve. However in the end of the series it comes out that in the present from which the episodes are told, the mother of Teds almost grown up children is dead for a few years and Robin single again as well. Since Ted has his children and Robin was able to follow her carreer, that is a scenario where it at least could make sense for them to date again. That is a special (and for some fans of the series a bit controversial) example, but in general it is possible that getting together can be the right decision. Each situation is to be looked at individually. How the breakup went, influences the situation as well. Whether both sides decided mutually that a breakup is the right choice or one person broke up with the other shifts responsibilities in terms of coming together again. Summary: Breakups are (in my opinion) a big thing and should not be taken lightly. It is possible that getting together is the right choice, but you should be careful and sceptical enough about it, making the reasons for both breaking up and getting together clear for yourself so that you not just get into a doomed relationship. (The will to believe that a person changed, the fear of loneliness and the pull of a few good memories for example can be strong. On the other hand two people can achieve a lot if they are willingly to really work together.) Hope it made sense to you. Have a nice day and maybe smile a bit. Who4m1

Well, that question is difficult for me. I hope I don't get lynched for my answer. LOL xD Because I'm not really a horror fan. I mean, I can respect people liking it and all. It just seems to be not the right thing for me. Of course that doesn't mean that I don't watch them at all. They can be entertaining from time to time – just usually not my favourites. Those genre classification are always a little difficult for me anyway. There are many movies that are not clearly one genre. But how I understood it, horror is closely related to the scare factor. And that factor is completely lost to me. On the one hand I don't really know what is that great about getting scared by a movie, but on the other hand I don't think I get scared by movies anymore. I just don't. There may be scenes that I find disgusting or nasty to look at, but not really scary. It's not like I couldn't be scared, I can be scared, just maybe not by movies? Maybe I have seen too much too early for that or maybe I just haven't seen the right movies, because I was never out to get the hardcore ones out there. (There may be a bit adrenaline generated here or there – that's not that difficult for movies, but no real scary impression that stays. Maybe the overall genre just doesn't touch me deep enough.) Or maybe I just don't like being scared and decided not to be scared too much by movies. XD So I actually had difficulties to come up with a favourite movie here. I thought of a few that were okay, I guess, but definetely not enough to be called a favourite by me (I guess I can be quite critical). But I think another effect is contributing to that: Because the genre lines are that blurry sometimes, there are probably a few that others would call horror movies, but I interpreted as something different. After all those genre designations always are a little subjective. But I would guess that' a minority. Fortunately you just asked for “scary movie“. There weren't many really scary movies for me. That said, I am considering my memory just might be crappy or that I perceived many movies with a little bit of scare factor in a different way. (Sometimes you just see well built atmosphere that can be really great as part of the movie) Anyway, actually, I thought about it for a few days, but I really had a hard time remembering any scary movies. (As said my memory might just be crappy) So I will take the prime example out of my childhood. In my childhood there probably were quite a few of other examples, but there always is this one that I'm remembering well. While our parents were out for one evening my brother and I watched tv. We even were allowed to watch a specific show, but we just kept watching after that. I don't know exactly how old I was back then, but I would guess it was between nine and eleven or something like that. I definetely was young. Zapping we stumbled across that one movie – and that movie was scary for me back then. It was “Jeepers creepers 2“. And maybe the worst thing was, that we just watched the first twenty minutes or something like that. So I, then still a little boy, just saw a flying dark black something that takes away several persons, usually without really being seen as more than a black something. And it was just worse, because I knew nothing about the backround story. I think (I never really watched the movie) they even fight it later in some form. With knowing or seeing it it wouldn't have made that kind of impression. But I only knew those few scenes that stayed with me. It took me years to find out the name of the movie. That all being sad, even that effect wasn't that bad. It didn't keep me from sleeping or anything like that. (And I don't think it was really a good movie.) But if there was ever a scary movie experience for me, then that was it. So that is all I can contribute to that topic, I guess (huh, a lot of guessing from me today, I guess). Probably I just forgot all the scares. They are not that desired by me anyway. However it's amazing to see how much fun some people can have with it. Oh, and by the way I practically have seen none of the mentioned movies. And you mentioned a whole lot, especially you, River and Comsie. Yes, at some point you found something. I mean, I watch movies and I even would have said I know a lot movies, but most of the mentioned are completely unknown to me (and wow, that were many if I add them up). At least I've seen “A Quiet Place“ and recognized a few other ones. I might have seen a few more of them, but not many. I mean, to my defense, some (or maybe a lot?) of the movies are just too much older than me. And “Shutter island“ for example was a movie I enjoyed, but did not think of in this context. It didn't really seem scary to me, but interesting in other ways. But after all, I guess I just am not a real fan of horror. There are other genres/directions/things I like much more. And yes, yes, yes, okay, that was enough. I'll leave now. But have a nice day nonetheless

I have to admit in this series Miguel was my clear favorite (regarding good looks and cuteness). But I can see your point. (And on that occasion I also was reminded again, how much styling can change. Because, while Xolo Mariduena is to me not really that cute with some styles I saw him with outside this show, I found him gorgeous with the style he usually had in this show. (I think it's mostly the hair and that he is completely shaved.))

That is an interesting question. It always is an interesting balance between writing your story your own way and keeping it realistic. At the same time you always find the most important struggles of an era in some of their stories. Stories always develop out of our own thoughts and thus are heavily influenced by our state of mind. Therefore Corona definitely will be displayed in a lot of works and that is a good thing. However, I would guess that for the fact that it influenced many people around the world really heavy, changed the life during this time, that in relation to that fact it might not be that many stories with it (that feature it directly, indirect influences are something different). While it's possible that I might make a story with Covid, too, I probably will also tend not to include it. There are a few reasons for that, that probably can be found with other authors, too. Options for storytelling In stories usually things happen. Usually things that are in some way exciting, even if that may just be a day of school with some social interaction. In Corona times now a lot less things happen. Of course that can be very different depending on your job and the area you live in. You definitely can write a good and exciting story out of this setting, but if I'm at the point of starting a usual story, it feels much easier, but also more natural to start in an everyday environment without many specifics generally. So I rarely would include an unusual state at the start of a story. That in corona most lifes (or at least mine) got mostly more boring (if you don't count the new distancing methods as exciting – and boring doesn't mean all bad here, but I think you know what I mean with less exxciting stuff happening) gives more reason not to include. Also included in a later point in stories, it would usually limit the things you can do as story teller, deny the possibility of some things. I just see not enough reason in general to include it, I'll later feature the side of realism more. This point overall is no real reason not to include it, but the reason for you to include needs to be strong enough to outweigh the deficits that may come with it or you need to like/support the way that changes your story/the setting of it. Nonetheless it may be, that I'll write one or a few stories featuring corona, if I want to later. That could be really fun and interesting, too, but most of my stories probably won't feature it. Forced importance of corona We have established that we want to keep it realistic in most stories (there can be some funny exceptions). Now if we look at our life right now, how much it is changed, how we behave, but also about what we think and what we talk, there is really much of the corona crisis. If you look the news, chances are pretty good, that more than half of it will be about corona and related measures in some way. Since corona impacts society and our life in a major way, it is absolutely logical that it is present. But if I now want to write a story, I need to depict the mind of the protagonist in it. That means, at least in the way I see it and would realize it, there will be a lot of corona. That way corona is forced as an important topic in some way in those stories. You can't just say that there was corona in a small sentence with some of the measures taken and then never mention it again. And also in conversations and a psychological way it would be present a lot. Of course you have a little bit scope you can use to adjust it to your story, but it would be very present and I think there is a good chance, that it may take some of the focus of other topics, maybe the main topic you want to write your story about, away. To mention it here again, there are definitely ways you can make it work and good, but there are some dangers. And since it will be a part of the story that is not too small in many cases, I also think that there might be a danger of repetition, of similar struggles happening too often if you were to write a lot of stories that are always with corona. But a part of that thought is also that writers and readers can just become tired of corona which is the next point. Escapism There often is a little part of escapism in reading stories. You don't necassarily need to want to escape your world, but you are going to a different world to dive into the mind and problems of some other person than yourself. Now that in itself is a wonderful and fantastic thing that is very diverse. However, you can say that for reading a story there usually needs to be something that intrigues you. And there can be topics that you really just don't wanna deal with - that could be for many different reasons, some very personal. Now for the moment corona is not my favourite topic in a story, because there are so many other possible topics and I had so much effects of corona and so much life in corona times in the reality already. Doesn't mean I will put a story away just because it features corona or anything like that. But I would rather here about a person without the same limitations as us at the moment and with different problems and struggles, because I feel like the struggles coming with corona and the necassary measures are topic often enough in reality already. Could still be that I will read or write a good corona story in the near future, but that is my general base feeling about it. And combined with the second point of automatically happening importance of corona that means for me not writing many corona stories. Universe I intentionally closed the topic in some way in the point before, but the relationship you have as an authors to your universe is such important and exciting that I need to feature it to. It is a topic you can discuss a lot about and learn a lot of different varieties. There usually is no clear wrong and right, there are many ways you can handle the universe the story plays in or think of it. And I do think that it can be really interesting to change it up as an author for a story once in a while. There is the opportunity for some special stories that way. But there is one way I usually go with for my stories. I choose a start point. That already can be a fictive world, but it also can be the present like it is now or like it was two years ago. And then it is a parallel universe where I can more or less free say what's happening. The greater parts always need to remain realistic for me in some way. That doesn't mean that I won't start a story with fantasy elements or an apocalyptic scene, but it needs to be mainly coherent and the actions of society and the characters need to be plausible. (And that means to me. I sometimes feel like some people don't understand that, but being stupid and forgetting some other good options to solve a problem is very plausible for many human beings.) But I will forge it in that framework. A great example for that: Two years ago many would have not believed that a virus would come and impact our life that majorly, so actually many virus stories are plausible in some way. On the other hand since many people would have believed that to happen, a world continuing without a virus with that kind of impact is very plausible, too. So I feel like it's ok for most of my stories not to include corona. However, corona is likely to be part of the past in the stories I will write later (for example twenty years from now). And by the way: Though that may change, I usually don't define the universe too close for many stories anyway. For example I usually do not feel the need to include or even specify in which specific year it plays. But as the excessive use of the world “usually“ implies that's just my general feeling. It is something that always depends on the specific story and its different aspects. (Maybe I will try a few more specific stories in the next time - or maybe not. Let's see. ) And for instance the type of story you write can always mix things up. You could start to write a series about people just dealing with life and current developments which means not only corona, but in general (maybe 9/11, Donald Trump, other political or social topics and whatever). Or maybe you just want to feature recent developments as a regular side kick in a bigger story. If you choose that mode, then of course including it would be the way to go. (Just corona could form some kind of exception if it may crush your story or the possibilities of it going on the way you want.) But there are many possibilites. The relationship to the universe as an authors and the balance of keeping enough realism overall is a huge topic that can feature big discussions on its own and comparisons of different styles. And especially in terms of keeping a bit of realism I feel like you have some kind of responsibility as an author there, too. Concluding while there may be stories featuring the state where corona is present, the majority of my stories probably will be without corona or feature corona only as a past event. However it depends on the story and you can definitely do it both ways. Hope you had fun reading, that I didn't write too much nonsense and that my main points came across. Have a nice day!

That can get personal and says much about a person. For me that is one of the topics where I fluctuate between both extremes. When I'm comfortable I can be very talkative. I like to discuss things with others. Before important decision I often have tried to get a second opinion of others before I actually decide anything. And when something is occupying me a lot, when something is important to me, then a part of me definitely likes to share that with people close to me. However, I am clearly more the private person. Usually, I won't show if anything is bothering me. While I have no real problem with sharing thoughts or parts of me in itself, it always is a conscious process. And there need to be the right conditions. That left me pretty closed down. And there is also that part in me that likes that. It's easy and safe to go through and solve things yourself. While getting a second opinion can be good, they can be much more misleading than a little bit of smart thinking and analyzing for yourself. Talking about that here is a little bit tricky, because there really are those two different sides in me fighting and my actions can vary day by day, but I would say that the private, closed down side is clearly dominating. And I do feel sometimes like I would like to open up a little bit more, have more persons to share personal topics and talk with. But as I said there need to be the right conditions. I can't just tell anybody everything about myself. I can't just dump my problems or other deep thoughts on someone just because. Or well, theoretically I could, but that's just not me. There needs to be some kind of personal relationship. I need to feel like that person deserves to know. But that doesn't mean the high standards “deserve“ could imply. It's not difficult to reach that point with me. But I think the most important thing is interest. There are a few exceptions, but in general I just can't tell somebody something if he isn't interested. Or rather, I really don't want to. If I think a person is not interested in what I have to say, then I will stop saying anything meaningful. That person doesn't deserve to hear it then. On the other hand I answer every question that I am asked, really few things are for me of limits there, and if you show me you are interested,.then I gladly share my thoughts, knowledge or whatever topic it is about with you. Right now there are many things I never really shared or shared relatively late. I think I'm settled in in being pretty private. That also has its perks. And with a few secrets you also are able to surprise people. I definitely know how to wear a mask. I think that's enough for now. (Oh, and I often am interested in other persons and try to always be a shoulder you can lean on if you want.) But on another note it's interesting how many similarities in the posted answers to this question are showing so far.

First! XD I had to do it once in my life. And I will change it into an appropiate comment.

And there is the long awaited and good climax. Randy's feelings are really relatable. Enjoyed reading. Took Randy quite some time to tell his mom, but everyone has his own unique journey regarding that. Just sad that it does not always turn out as well as in this story. (Oh, and as side note one more time (in case you didn't read it before, I won't annoy further 😇): there is a little incosistency with the chapter numbers right now. This should technically be chapter 66 and the last one chapter 65 (I think that is right everywhere except in the gayauthors title.))