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  1. Filzmoos

    Chapter 17

    It was Saturday evening and Connor and I were sitting in the Rose and Crown in Hamborough. He was due to leave for Ireland the following day and this was probably the last time we would be together. On the outside I was desperately trying to appear calm and matter of fact, but inwardly my stomach was churning at the prospect of saying goodbye. If truth be told, I didn’t think that Connor wanted a long drawn out farewell and I was pretty sure he was doing it mainly for me. Although we’d only been together for a short time, the potential for a long term relationship had always been there and Con
  2. Filzmoos

    Chapter 16

    It was the morning after Connor and I had broken up. His bombshell of the previous evening was praying heavily on my mind as I struggled to fully comprehend its meaning. Although we hadn’t known each other very long it was still my first relationship and I was devastated we would no longer be together. His decision to move to Ireland was a crushing blow and the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to go with him when he’d asked me, made the situation infinitely worse. On top of that the way he’d stormed off, refusing to talk about it, hurt even more but I was determined that my overwhelming desir
  3. Filzmoos

    Chapter 15

    I’d arranged to meet Connor in the Rose and Crown after work. It was two weeks since dad had been rushed to hospital with a heart attack and much to our relief, he was now back at home. The doctor had told mum that this time he was lucky to have made it and it could very well have been a different story. Despite the poor state of his health he was still largely cheerful and happy, actively encouraging me to go out and meet ‘Connie’ whenever the subject raised its ugly head. I hated lying to him and would have loved to pluck up the courage to tell them both the truth, but causing dad any unnece
  4. Filzmoos

    Chapter 14

    The strong smell of disinfectant invaded my nostrils as soon as we rushed into the hospital, heading directly for intensive care. Although I’d told him that he didn’t have to, Connor insisted on coming in with me and I was secretly grateful he had. I hated hospitals and was always glad to get out of them as quickly as possible. Mum was standing at the coffee machine in a world of her own as we rounded the final corner and when she turned towards me her deathly pale, tear stained face stopped me in my tracks. For a second or two I thought we were too late, but something instinctively told
  5. Filzmoos

    Chapter 13

    “How far away do you live Connor?” “Oh, the other side of town, about 10 minutes’ walk away. C’mon Jason, it’s this way” He led us through a maze of streets to an area of town I wasn’t particularly familiar with, until finally we reached a large open square surrounded by imposing Victorian houses. When they were first built in the 1800’s, no doubt each one would’ve been inhabited by some rich industrialist or upper class family, but I guessed that these days they’d probably all been converted into flats. As we crossed the square, Connor fished about in his pocket, eventually pr
  6. Filzmoos

    Chapter 12

    It had just turned six thirty as I walked through town towards the Rose and Crown. My stomach began turning over at the prospect of seeing Connor again and I could hardly believe what had happened on our last date. The thought of what might happen on this one left me breathless with desire and I hoped that this time, there would be no unfortunate interruptions. I soon reached the familiar, half timbered building and as I pushed open the heavy door, the glow of light spilled onto the dark pavement. A party of girls in ridiculously short skirts and high heeled shoes stood around the bar.
  7. Filzmoos

    Chapter 11

    Aiden is certainly a complex character. Much more interaction to come!
  8. Filzmoos

    Chapter 11

    Although it was only a week since my last date with Connor, it seemed to be the longest one of my life. Now it had finally reached Tuesday and the time had come to meet him for our second date. My whole body was shaking with apprehension at the prospect of further physical contact, but the urge to make it happen was overwhelming. There was no doubt about it; things were definitely hotting up between us. He’d been sending me suggestive texts all week and I’d been replying with equally suggestive responses. It seemed as if I’d had an erection for most of the week and I was constantly trying to m
  9. Filzmoos

    Chapter 10

    It had turned slightly chilly when Connor and I left the pub, but the warm excited feeling that had lain in my stomach all evening refused to go away. If anything it was stronger than ever and the deep rooted feelings of anticipation and desire combined to make a potent mix. As we walked along the main street in the direction of the bus station it was killing me not to show Connor any affection. It was so unfair that we couldn’t hold hands or kiss in public like any straight couple and I could tell by the look on his face that he was feeling exactly the same way. When we reached the far end of
  10. Filzmoos

    Chapter 9

    It had just turned seven forty five when Connor walked in the door. He spotted me straight away and a smile lit up his face as he flopped down on the bench seat beside me, breathing heavily. “Phew, made it at last! Sorry I’m late Jason” “Don’t worry about it Connor. You’re here now, that’s the most important thing” He smiled at me gratefully and I drained my glass and stood up. “What can I get you to drink?” “Oh, I’ll have a pint of lager please” Liz clearly hadn’t taken her eyes off him since he’d arrived and as I approached the bar she tutted and shook her head.
  11. Filzmoos

    Chapter 8

    It was Tuesday afternoon and my date with Connor was fast approaching. I felt sick with nervous anticipation, and my stomach was churning over and over as I tried desperately to overcome my feelings of fear and excitement. My hair was still damp from the long bath I’d just taken and now here I was, standing in front of my open wardrobe dressed only in briefs, wondering what on earth I was going to wear. An overpowering smell of deodorant pervaded the air and I knew that as soon as I walked into the lounge mum would ask if I’d bathed in it. I had to admit it was complete overkill, but I was so
  12. Filzmoos

    Chapter 7

    There was one major surprise in Samson’s that even now I struggled to get my head around. It came as a huge shock one Saturday night to bump into Marc Harris coming out of the toilet, and if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed it possible. At first I just stepped back and gaped at him with my mouth open, completely unsure what to do or say. He looked like a scared rabbit caught in the headlights of a car and clearly didn’t have a clue how to respond either. I was absolutely stunned to see him standing in front of me in a gay bar. Of all the people in my class at scho
  13. Filzmoos

    Chapter 6

    I’d been at the store for just over a year now and the routine of work had become the norm. I still really enjoyed working there and the majority of staff were friendly and easy to get on with. Tom, the good looking guy that had first made me feel so welcome when I came for my interview, had become a really good friend. If ever I needed any support or just to talk he was always there, and I really valued his friendship. Unfortunately, he was totally straight and also married - Although most of the time, I tried to forget that! Craig was still his usual obnoxious self and I totally i
  14. Filzmoos

    Chapter 5

    My first day at work was extremely daunting. For a start off, it was only the second time I’d ever been on a train before and it seemed an awfully long way to the city. In reality it was only about a twenty minute journey from Hamborough by train, but by the time I’d caught the bus from Dryford, it took just over an hour to get there. That was more than two hours travelling time a day, just to get to and from work! There was no way I would ever get used to it but surprisingly, I actually began to enjoy it and even looked forward to the time it gave me to either read or just simply stare out o
  15. Filzmoos

    Chapter 4

    By the following June I’d taken my final exams and at last school was officially over. I can’t say it had been the best time of my life, but at least I’d got through it relatively unscathed. I still didn’t have any really close friends, but hopefully the future would be brighter and my life would take a turn for the better. How wrong could I be!! All of a sudden, disaster struck my family and all our lives were changed forever. It was a particularly hot day in the middle of August, but I can still remember what happened as clearly as if it were yesterday. Dad was in the kitchen fitti
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