John Henry

Though Kenny was suspended, he went with Diego to drop the boys off at school. When they got to the junior high, Diego waited with bated breath for someone to challenge Kenny's appearance, but that opportunity never came. Bryan begged his dad to let him stay home and help take care of his boyfriend, however, Diego wasn't having it. Not only had Bryan missed too much school already, he didn't want Child Protective Services on him for his son's delinquency. “Besides,” Kenny said, “You need to

If we ever met in person, odds are you'd never know I was gay. I have don't exhibit any of the stereotypical characteristics associated with gay men. In fact, I have been accused of being a homophobe and queerbating. Some of these resulted in several arguments. I just don't present as "gay." I don't even engage in "gay activities." I don't watch Drag Race. I don't care for most musicals. I don't listen to Lady Ga Ga. And, most scandalous of all, I want go to most PRIDE events. The only thing that would qualify me as gay is the fact that I'm sexually attracted to and have had plenty of sex with men. With that said, I never had the "coming out" issues most people have had. I mean, when you can't convince your own community that you're one of them, how are you going to convince anyone else? That's the struggle I faced with Chapter 4. I realized, when starting this post, that I missed my opportunity to discuss Kenny and Bryan's conversation about the kiss. Like myself, Bryan doesn't present as queer. Aside from coming off as a bit effeminate, neither does Kenny, but as established, Kenny is out to those close to him. There were a lot of undertones that built to the surface and get called back at the end of Chapter 4. Bryan, who has never and to directly face the ridicule of being gay, doesn't see his teasing of Kenny as anything harmful. His privilege gave him the luxury to not treat Kenny's feelings as important. Even as Kenny protested and got upset, Bryan remained ignorant. It clearly wasn't malicious, since Bryan had no real context for what Kenny had gone through. Bryan's lack of empathy is from lack of direct experience and not from indifference. Kenny, however, is where most of the subtext comes from. I think most people can empathize with Kenny's situation. A bullied gay kid who feels queerbated by his seemingly straight best friend. Even when Kenny starts to protest, it seems like Bryan is being mean and hurtful. Until the first kiss, I made the assumption that Kenny never saw Bryan as anything more than just his friend, but after the kiss, it plagued him with all kinds of thoughts and feelings that were being toyed with by Bryan, which only added to his pain during the conversation. The term "queerbating" is one that I have complicated feelings about, especially after the forced outing of Kit Connor. I have been told by more than one straight friend that, if I were a woman, they'd love to be in a relationship with me, which, to me, feels like that's queerbating. I've been accused of queerbating when coming out to certain gay associates who refused to take my word for it. But, it's when queerbating is weaponized to force someone to come out that I take exception. In the scene where Kenny accuses Bryan of queerbating him, I had a conflict. Was Bryan queerbating Kenny by teasing his own sexuality and feelings for Kenny through the expression of the kissing, or was Kenny weaponizing the term to get Bryan to out himself? Based on the comments section of Chapter 3, I don't think anyone came to this conclusion the way I did. Neither meant anything malicious, but does that really matter? Did Bryan really queerbate Kenny? Did Kenny make the accusation to force Bryan out? I'd have to say yes to both. Bryan intentionally teased and beat around the bush regarding the kiss, so he wouldn't have to address his feelings, while still getting Kenny worked up about it, and Kenny knew using that term would put Bryan on the spot to either come out or to stop, while forcing him to accept responsibility for his actions. That moment set everything up for their relationship. It exposed a lot in Bryan that gets recalled at the end of Chapter 4. The beginning of Chapter 4 opens with the family dinner. Being perceptive, Diego senses the energy between Bryan and Kenny, and decides to teach his son a lesson. I wanted the banter to continue from the previous chapter, to help show that no matter how serious the topic, they can joke about it in a healthy way. Diego went for Kenny instead of Bryan, as Bryan would have a thicker skin and would play dumb. Kenny would give the best, telling reactions. I also wanted to show that Kenny was treated as a member of the family, which included being pulled into the ribbing and teasing. Unlike Bryan, Diego can understand Kenny's situation and can empathize, so he knows how far he can push before it just becomes mean spirited. This was also another opportunity for Steve to integrate himself into the family dynamic. I rarely talk up my own writing, but I loved how the dialogue turned out. The flow was good and realistic. It reminds me of something my own family would've done, especially my mother, who was definitely an inspiration for Diego's humor. But, isn't this also queerbating in that Diego teased Bryan into outing himself? If the previous example was queerbating, why wouldn't this count, as well? I have a hard time accepting it in this case. There's definitely strong parallels, but I think the difference is that Diego wasn't trying to force Bryan to come out. If Bryan had denied it or changed the subject, Diego would've let it go and had a serious, private chat later, like he ended up doing. When ultra-thirsty queers turned on Kit Connor forcing him out of the closet, the general public didn't know. They used the excuse that only queer actors should play queer characters, and that Kit was queerbating his fans through some of his social media posts. I think that the majority of those accusing Kit of queerbating were trying to out him. They were weaponizing the term to maliciously validate their own suspicions and fantasies. It might have been a little different if Kit had stated he was straight or came off as homophobic prior to being cast on Heartstopper, but since that wasn't the case, it was toxic queer culture at its worse. It's on that level that I don't think Diego was queerbating. Yes, he was teasing, but it was clearly playful and was about Bryan gaslighting him earlier on the way home and not about his son's sexuality or physical acts with Kenny. That seems like a very round about way of putting it, but that's also 1am while I'm writing this. Bryan's reaction to the whole conversation was inspired by David Rose (Schitt's Creek) and the snarky tone he'd get when teased by Patrick. I love that kind of banter and felt that it was appropriate for Bryan in that moment to save face. Everything that happened after dinner was to reinforce a lot of the dynamics that were covered. Steve wanting to help clean, but Bryan pushing him away. Bryan's conflicts with his life with Calvin and the happy memories he gained after being adopted. Diego trusting Bryan enough to give him a smart phone. It was also a time to remind the readers that Bryan was feeling unsure and insecure about his feelings for Kenny, given his attachment and abandonment issues created by Calvin and Donna. Being a teenager and with everything going on, I felt it was appropriate for him to have all these internal conflicts and uncertainties. I also didn't want to keep rehashing them a lot, so I wanted this to be a summation before moving on to bigger issues and events. In that regard, I don't think I did a good job, which I'll get into later on. Bryan's self-reflections have given him a lot of insight, but he still hasn't figured out how to use it to make his situations better. I know I suffer from that a lot, and I think that adds to the realism of the story and Bryan as a character. He's deeply flawed, is aware of it, but doesn't know how to fix it. See you in the next one, John.

Humans ignore what doesn't directly and immediately effect them. Unless they're the oppressed minority, they won't care who else is targeted. It's been that way for millennia.

Thanks! A lot happened in this chapter, and I felt like I was rambling and missing details. If I was and did, I'll try better in the future and can explain more here in the comments.

Nazis, the KKK and other extremist groups that have actually killed people...but I get your point. American Fundamentalism is getting to that extreme. If they were allowed to run loose again, we'd probably see Saudi levels of executions for "deviancy." That's why it's important to stand up to them at every interval. Drag Queens and Trans people are just the latest targets, before them it was gay marriage, then LatinX, then Muslims, then African Americans, interracial marriage, then Jews and African Americans. They cycle through oppressed minorities until they can find one that draws the largest crowds to grow their numbers. They're all about hate to further their Fascism, while blinding their followers, like Hitler and Mussolini did during WWII. They're using the same playbook, feeding the fears of the uneducated and keeping the masses uneducated through book bans and white washed curriculum that hides the actual truth, while claiming that the news lies all the time, while sponsoring a news organization that does lie. Hitler hid his Fascism through Socialism. Stalin hid his in Communism. America hides theirs in Conservatism. Those who see these trends will never get through to everyone who has fallen prey, but we can battle enough to keep more from joining while rescuing as many as we can.

Fixed. Thanks for noticing.

Comedy is the hardest literary form to write. Humor is extremely subjective and can very subtle and nuanced to the point where the joke is missed. Humor can also be offensive to some while enjoyed by others. There are many times of comedy from puns (the lowest form of humor, in my opinion) to dark humor (the kind that's so shocking and offensive, you don't know if the person is laughing because they genuinely find it funny, or they're just extremely uncomfortable and don't know what else to do.) When I started writing Bryan and the rest of the Padilla family, I wanted to have their dynamic be authentic. In a lot of writing, especially by amateur writers, dialogue is stilted, stiff and unrealistic. They avoid contractions, use "big words" when simple words would work instead, refuse to use slang or profanity, use outdated terms and phrases for younger characters, lack proper emotion of the scene, and the flow is not natural or conversational. This can create a disconnect in the audience and remove the escapism and emersion that reading provides. Comedy requires timing and proper phrasing. For example, if your loved one has just passed away, the last thing you want is for the doctor who delivered the news to tell you a "knock knock" joke. However, as a counterpoint, an accidently made joke at someone's funeral can have comedic value, so long as everyone gets the joke. It's this thin line and balancing act that makes for good and bad comedy. Humor can also be used as a defensive mechanism, especially sarcasm. A lot sarcastic people use humor to deflect things that may actually hurt them. Alex Borstein, who plays Lois Griffin on Family Guy, said in an interview that, while in school, she used to make fun of her own weight as a means to survive bullying (I'm clearly paraphrasing, but you can find the Actor's Studio interview on YouTube). She would make sarcastic remarks about her weight to deflect the hate she otherwise would've been given. Remember that political correctness and other such social movements were not around when Alex was in school and such bullying would've been allowed or ignored, with the rare encouragement by teachers. Bryan in this chapter uses humor to deflect. It's a shield he uses to keep things from really hurting him and to justify his actions. He had just attacked Dan Thomas and was making jokes about it. Diego seems to be playing along, but I think, if you pay close attention to what Diego is saying, he knows what Bryan is really doing and why. I won't go into detail about that, as it may be a plot point later on in the story. With that said, I wanted Bryan's humor to also add in the relationship he has with Diego. To touch back in the opening of this post, realistic dialogue includes banter. The Padilla family likes to playfully tease each other, which is very normal in most families, so it's expected that Diego and his sons do the same with each other. Given the seriousness of the previous chapter, I needed to create a break from that, so having Bryan's defense mechanism be the catalyst for the banter with his father seemed natural, which is what you want in dialogue. Bryan's particular brand of humor comes from two sources: The American TV series Boston Legal and writer/director Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith, who created such cult comedy films as Clerks, Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, uses self-deprecating humor as defense mechanism. Sarcasm is usually directed outward, while self-deprecation is directed inward, but has the same affect. Alex Borstein's comments about her weight are very self-deprecating. Kevin is also rather hard on himself in interviews, his stage shows and podcasts as part of his humor. Boston Legal, which stars James Spader and William Shatner, is a legal dramody (drama/comedy). It is loaded with sarcasm, inappropriate behavior, and things that wouldn't work today in the current woke climate; however, the fact it's so outrageous allows the comedy to work. My favorite aspect of humor from that show is the meta humor. Meta is an acknowledgment of the real word in fiction. Deadpool is a good example, with Wade Wilson talking to the audience (also called a fourth wall break). In Boston Legal, fourth wall breaking was extremely rare. Instead, they made self-referential jokes cleverly disguised in the dialogue. One of their more common jokes involved making fun of their time slot changes. In one scene, a former lawyer of the firm runs into James Spader's character and mentions that he's been very hard to get a hold of, and he quips that they (the show) had moved from this time slot to another then to another, which makes communicating difficult. In another, a meeting was supposed to be held but was rescheduled to another day and time, so they went over all the time slot changes for the show proving how complicated it was, while blaming and naming the real show runner as the reason for the mix up. I have loved that type of humor so much, that I wanted to try it hear. Bryan begins to make references to me as the writer and the story itself but from a semi-aware state of being. It can be seen as a world view not too far from religion. Instead of a deity, Bryan sees that his life is just some crappy fictional story someone else is writing. It allows me to add self-deprecating humor about my own writing insecurities, while having that marginally disconnected meta humor I love and miss about Boston Legal. Everyone plays along with Bryan's meta humor, and quickly moves on. I admit that I haven't kept it up in recent chapters, because with all jokes, there's a point of overkill. You can beat a joke into the ground where it isn't funny anymore. Another thing I loved about Boston Legal (and I promise to stop talking about it at some point soon), is how sparsely they used meta humor. The joke came in, it was said, and they moved on. You might only get one or two references a season and that was it, which made them even better. Back to Chapter 3. As much as Diego and Bryan flick each other shit on the way home, Diego still asserts himself as the parental figure. He's not screaming or furious, unlike what most parents would be, but he remains level headed and firm in his position. Diego is the voice of reason in all of this acting as a counter to Bryan's sarcasm and unreasonable view point. It's through the dialogue that we get this. There was little need for narration, since the flow of the dialogue was carrying the scene. I think their are two major ways to improve your dialogue skills: Reading your dialogue out load, and people watching. A writer should always read their dialogue out load. If it doesn't sound right to your ear, change it till it does. If you can, have someone else read it out loud to you. Again, if it doesn't sound right, change it till it does. The other method is to go to a semi-crowded place and eaves drops. Listen to how other people talk, taking in not just what they say but how they say it. When to they emphasize certain words? How do they use sarcasm if at all? How often do they use contractions? When don't they use contractions? What slang is being used by which age group? How casually do they use profanity and in what context? Bring a piece of paper and write some phrases down, log words you don't know to be looked up later, make notes on how you can expand the conversation realistically. Moving on in the chapter, we also get to see the relationship between Bryan and Caleb. Having brothers, I get their relationship isn't realistic, but I didn't want it to be. It's very idealistic, very much like the boys' relationship with Diego. It seemed out of place for Bryan and Caleb to have a healthy, grounded relationship with Diego, while being at each other's throats. Chaos begets chaos, and Diego mitigates chaos as much as he can without being overbearing or controlling. He provides structure without micromanaging. This has allowed Bryan and Caleb to develop the relationship they have, I think. And now the kiss. I didn't intend for Bryan to be pansexual. In fact, I spent a while debating if I should make him asexual and aromantic; however, as with most of my writing, the story told itself. It seemed right as the scene progressed that Bryan might consider himself pan. I think most queer parents would have to teach their children early on that not every family as one mommy and one daddy. Diego isn't in the closet nor did I want him to be, even after adopting the boys. It only made sense that he would've explained sexuality to his sons at an appropriate age, providing more information as they got older. Thus, there is no reason in my mind why Bryan wouldn't know what pansexuality is by 14-years-old. Kenny and Terra were already slated to be in another story I want to write after this, so this seemed to be a good place to start their stories and experiences. We also get a glimpse into Bryan's insecurities, especially surrounding his abandonment issues. Gone is the humor from the beginning and middle of the story. He is being intimate and honest with his best friend, and humor would've been very misplaced here. Comedy is a vehicle for deeper plot points and not the driving force of the story itself. At some point, the laughs and chuckles need to stop, so we can get to healing the pain behind it. See you in the next one, John.

The self-righteous are among the greatest hypocrites. I don't now if "Nazi sympathizer" is correct, but I definitely get your meaning.

Everyone has a snapping point, and Kenny certainly reached his.

Thank you.

This is typical American Religious Fundamentalism and the anti-LGBTQIA+ culture war currently going on here. The whole "we need to protect the children" bullshit from the neo-Fascists in America irritates the hell out of me to no end. Luckily, they're not very strong where I live, and the few that have poked their heads out have gotten very rude awakenings. A good example was when the KKK got a permit to march in our downtown. The city couldn't deny it, but the local police issued a statement saying they weren't going to at as bodyguards nor would they respond if something happened. The day of the march, the Klan was supposed to come from a neighboring town, but when the news reported an armed counter group (most with bats, others with guns) 10 times the size of the suspected Klanmen, the Klan canceled their plans and went back into hiding. I think one of the counter group mentioned something about lynching any of the Klan who tried crossing the city line. Where I live, we like to kick our gays out of the closet to make room for our bigots.

I knew a bureaucrat who kept getting sued for the enforcing policies that other wrote and his bosses demand he uphold. Eventually, he got so fed up he asked those filing against him why there were targeting him. They (my friends) said they had no choice since he was the one enforcing the rules (I wish I could give more context but can't), but if he gave up his bosses, they'd sue that person instead. That's how I treated the situation with Deacon but no so drawn out. Deacon doesn't want the headache and it isn't him who's causing this situation, so he just gave up those who are the problem.

Thank you. There will be a war for sure. The self-righteous will always push their beliefs until they win or they're destroyed.

The next few weeks just blended together, especially for Bryan. His punishment was routine and monotonous. When he wasn't at school, he was cleaning the house, studying or sleeping. Whenever he thought he had nothing more to clean or do, somehow, his dad had a whole new list of chores that needed to be done. What's more, after handing over each list, Diego would say, “I love you.” Part of it, Bryan knew, was passive-aggressive, but it was also a reminder that Bryan was the one who fucked up.

You've made many great points, most of which I can't comment on due to potential spoilers, but I really wish I could. I'm sure I will once I review this chapter for my blog.

Some good observations. Despite how mature and responsible Diego is around his kids, he's only human.

I'm currently running into the problem I knew I'd have writing this blog: Rambling. I've already taken four swings at this only to delete it after I've caught myself going off topic on many tangents. Granted, they provided a lot of insight and exposition into the story, but it's just too much and not necessarily needed. So, allow me to digress, again. This is not the first story I've ever written. I think that's pretty clear. I also think everyone knows (or can find out) that this is my first story published on Gay Authors. What may not be known is how frustrated I was with this site. I had a load of questions that I couldn't find answers to, and I found the approval system annoying at best. I still have issues but nothing like I originally did. Posting Chapter 1 was a nightmare for me. I made multiple attempts to get it posted, then had to edit (a nightmare) because the system itself added line spaces I didn't (and it still does), having to wait between publishing dates is annoying, etc. I think I tried about six times, before I said, "Fuck it. If they want it removed, they can do it themselves." And that's why there's no Prelude to this story. Chapter 1 was supposed to be the prelude. I finally found someone who could help me, and got it all sorted. Then, I discovered that there was a cap on how long a Prelude could be. I literally spent several hours figuring shit out, having to copy and paste line by line to get the formatting right, only to be told the Prelude was too long. It didn't tell me by how much, though. I don't know if I've made it clear or not, but I hate editing. I don't mind doing some grammar and spell corrections (okay, I do hate it, but I'm kind of, maybe, close to potentially getting near to thinking of getting over it.) What I hate about editing is trying to figure out what needs to be cut. I once submitted a short story to be published and was told it had to be no more than 5,000 words, including the title. Great, I thought. 5,000 words is nothing. I often wrote 10 page essays and reports in college for the fun of it. Writing is my jam! It took me 14 edits to get it down to 5,000 words...10 of those was because of a single word. Every edit didn't sound right, even the last one, but I wasn't going to do a 15th edit. After I submitted my story, I found out that the word count wasn't as set in stone as they told me originally. Needless to say, I was beyond livid. Anyway, when I saw that Gay Authors wasn't going to publish my submission with editing the Prelude, I once again said, "Fuck it!" The Prelude became Chapter 1, and all subsequent chapters got bumped down a number. The very original concept of this story centered around the character who would become Bryan. At the time, Bryan was a mouthy 10-year-old, with a special needs younger brother (who would become Caleb). Calvin was as we met him in Chapter 1, but a bigger waste of space. After losing his job and tired of living his car with two boys, Calvin goes to the home of his former lover and friend, Diego, who is a neurotic, bitter drag queen, who loves the kids but detests Calvin. Calvin eventually toys with Diego's feelings by insinuating that there could be more between them, while finding a girlfriend on the side. Things come to a head when Calvin and his girlfriend go to a bar where, unknown to Calvin, Diego is performing, but as himself with a 90s cover band. Diego sees the pair and becomes livid. The girlfriend is oblivious to the whole affair, since Calvin has been lying and keeping her in the dark. Diego goes into a very grungy, Nirvana-meets-Nine-Inch-Nails version of "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette, while staring daggers are a very uncomfortable Calvin, who leaves with the girl, packs the kids and leaves Diego alone, once more. My problem from the very inception of this tale is that, no matter how hard I try, I cannot make Calvin a sympathetic character. Oh, and I've tried. What you just read was the third attempt at telling this story. In fact, I even told the real Calvin about it, and he was okay with it until the whole "You Oughta Know" part. He had never heard the song before, so I played it for him. Sure, I could've chose another song; in fact, I had several in mind ("Storms" or "Silver Springs" by Fleetwood Mac, any number of Adele songs, or "I Fucking Hate You" by Godsmack.) Ultimately, I stopped writing until the day the real Calvin severed our tenuous friendship for good. I told him that I was going to write about what happened, and he said, "Okay." As touched on in the previous entry, the events of Chapter 1 were very loosely based on real events. It's also very, very close to what I wrote for the 3rd attempt. The real Calvin's kids are very young, as they are in Chapter 1. As in tuned as I am with my own memories of childhood, I felt that I couldn't continue the story as I saw it from only Diego's perspective. I wanted to tell the story of how Calvin's actions and behaviors effected the kids, and the best way to do that was by having them old enough to tell their own story. In order to do that, I time jump was needed. Preludes are great when you're doing a time jump, because the readers already know that the prelude is just exposition to help understand the rest of the story; however, when word count and the agonies of editing prevent a prelude from being published, a time jump can be very jarring, especially when you're dealing with multiple time jumps. In Chapter 1, there's a six month loss of time. I considered dedicating a few chapters to that, but it felt unnecessary, since I could make it into the Prelude. Well, not to beat a dead horse, but yeah.... I've had a few people bring it up, which is why I'm discussing it here. I still remember junior and high school, so I wanted Bryan to be at that age. I shifted the age differences between Bryan and Caleb, so they'd be on their last year at their current schools, without being at the same school. The advantage to having Bryan at 14-years-old is it gives him both awareness of adulthood and naivete childhood. Diego also became "straight acting" and cis. I don't care for stereotypes if I can void them, and when I came up with the original incarnation of Diego, I was trying to write a comedy with a lot of camp. When things shifted to drama, I didn't feel that camp was the best approach, as it would've fed into negative stereotypes, which I felt would've been a disservice to the stories and characters. I'm also a fan of the show Boston Legal. Their use of self-referential, meta humor always brought a smile to my face. I still wanted comedy, but I knew I couldn't have it be central to the story but as a tension breaker. Deadpool is great for fourth-wall breaking, but that wasn't something I wanted for this story. Fourth-wall humor is best when done visually, when the narrator can look at the audience, and I don't feel it translates when in a 3rd person narrative. However, the humor Boston Legal utilized (like making reference to time slot chances, not getting renewed for a new season, and cast changes) was perfect for this. Bryan is the one who makes the references because of his cheeky world view that he's just living in some crap, internet novel. How aware he really is is entirely up to the reader. I wanted Diego to be the father we all wished we had. Despite not having to take responsibility for the boys, he did it anyway. My choice in Diego being Latin-X came by happen stance. I didn't settle on the name or description for Diego until I wrote Chapter 1, and even then, I wasn't sure. I'm white and know very little about Hispanic culture aside from the friends I have. What settled it was Diego's voice. When I write, most of the time, an actor or actress will come to mind. In Diego's case, his voice is that of actor Christian Navarro, who played Tony Padilla on the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. His face, physicality and demeanor just fit, so I gave Diego Tony's surname and it all just fit. Nobody else has a famous voice or inspiration, though. I wanted Diego to be in a relationship. I considered having him married, but chose against it. I wanted to show a contrast between Diego and Calvin, in which Diego is also a single father, but he's successful and never abandoned the kids, unlike Calvin. In the United States, the "lazy Mexican" is a disgusting, undeserved stereotype, so to have Diego be a business owner, gay man, single father to two white kids, and still able to do it all on his own was representation that I felt was needed. Steve, as I mentioned in the comments of Chapter 2, is a character from another story I've written. He wasn't utilized much, so I brought him in. I decided, as I was writing this story, that I would create a shared universe among several other stories. You don't need to read those other stories, as they're just hinted at, and several are too dark to publish here. Donna...she's based off of the real Calvin's ex-wife, whom I do not like, irl. In real life, she's a drug addict, homeless and lived with the kids in a tent and which ever new boyfriend was supplying her habits. She lost the kids after self harming in front of them while high (according to the real Calvin, at any rate). To this day, she's still alive (to my knowledge) and doesn't have any contact with the kids, mostly due to the real Calvin cutting off contact despite court orders. I chose to kill the fictional Donna off because I didn't want to deal with too many antagonists in this story. I've made that mistake before, and it can just dilute a plot. Bryan's disconnect comes from attachment issues. Depending on how far you are in the story, you'll know it's a big motivator when it comes to his relationships. He remembers being put in foster care and Calvin abandoning him with Diego, so his apathy towards Donna's death isn't healthy but understandable. It's also based on my own apathy towards the death of my father, who was also an abuse drug addict. After he died, I was only able to mourn the loss of my ability to mourn his death, and that's kind of where Bryan's at with Donna. School and bullying seem to, sadly, go hand in hand. I remember bullies, being bullied and I'll admit bullying others for a short time. This was pre-mass shootings, so the worst you could expect was getting stabbed. Not much of a consolation, but that's the nature of the Trolley Problem. Stories need antagonists and conflict to truly progress and be worth reading. I chose the Dan because it was easy. He's very much like my brother, including the homophobia. I wanted to show Bryan's dynamic when Diego wasn't around, while establishing his relationships with Terra and Kenny. Being an opening chapter, everything is all about setting up. Yes, a lot of it wasn't needed or could've been spread out by more talented writers, but I also don't feel this story needs to be 1,000 pages. As I mentioned in the comments of the previous entry: Why say in four sentences what you can say in two? The conflict with Dan served it's purpose. It established that Bryan isn't afraid of direct conflict and his dynamic with his friends. This can become impactful later on should something rock his world causing his reactions to change (this is or isn't foreshadowing; your choice.) As for Dan's mother, she's the typical, privileged, white, suburban, racist mother I knew growing up. They're called Karens now. Bigotry is also a learned behavior, so I didn't want his mother trying to be woke, while raising an asshole. He learned it somewhere, and most bigots learn it at home. Mr. Deacon is based on the first vice principle I had. Everyone loved him and he treated everyone with respect. I added that he was also tired of all the bullshit, as most teachers and administrators are. I still feel like I added a lot to this chapter without actually saying a lot. I've read it several times, and I feel like I could've spread it out to at least two chapters. I also think in order for me to do that, I would've had to do somethings I don't like in writing, such as espousing endlessly about what's eating at the characters or discussing more backstory that could either be done later or just not needed at all. Luckily, this chapter was well received and allowed me to just move on to the story with little, unnecessary call backs. See you in the next one, John.

You can't be held accountable for any typing before 10am, so you're good.

At first, I thought you were talking about a spelling mistake I made, and I was like, "Ugh." Lol

Progress is always needed, and I think Steve has earned.

I felt that it was a natural progress between Steve and Bryan that allowed Bryan to open his heart. I honestly had a different idea of how I wanted this encounter to happen, but sometimes, you don't get to dictate how the story is told. Kenny is definitely an emotional contrast to Bryan, and that was intentional. Calvin's motives will be shown sooner than later, I'm sure.

Bryan woke up still feeling like crap. He instinctively reached for the phone that wasn't on his night stand. The events of the previous day came back and made him wish he could skip school. As much as he wasn't looking forward to his punishments when he got home, he was less thrilled with the prospects before him the second he got to school. Kenny, he was sure, was still pissed at him, then there would be the unyielding teasing and homophobia he'd be facing from the rest of the school. Alt

Ugh, don't even get me started on him! Lol

It comes down to the volume and purpose of the narrative. If you can say what you mean in two to four sentence, why would you do it in two to four paragraphs? At that point, the narrator is being self-indulgent, which doesn't necessarily serve the betterment of the plot. It bogs down the pacing for no real reason other than to show that writer likes to describe things in detail. An example of this is Twilight. Bella is very self-indulgent to the point where, personally, I stop caring about her situation. It took me two years to get half way through the first book, and I haven't touched it sense. Another series that does this in the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series. And this can happen in the 3rd person, as well. Tom Clancy is a great example. The only book of his I read was loaded with useless, self-indulgent narrative. I got to page 35 before I stopped reading it. The first 33 pages were spent describing a ship that was sinking, coving the complete military history of the ship, every weapon on it, and so on. It was only the last 2 pages that he mentioned the captain and first mate, who decided to go down with the ship. Tom Clancy is naval historian fanatic and his book clearly and painfully showed that to that point the story wasn't worth reading. Of course, this is a matter of taste. Some people want that level of detail to become fully immersed in the story. I'm not one of those people. If I ask a simple yes or no question and get a 4+ minute monologue going over the person's entire thought process regarding the question, I will lose complete interest in the subject entirely (I know people who do this and it greatly annoys me to no end). Don't get me wrong. I'm guilty of this, too, and I don't like it. Sometimes, I'm not sure I'm getting my point across, so I'll go on and on until I feel like I've made it. Stephen King hates using adverbs and recommends writers to never use them, yet he still uses them. It ultimately comes down to moderation. Again, why say in a page what you can say in a paragraph (this comment, included)?

That's a decent theory....