John Henry

Well said.

Thanks! I didn't edit this, either, as I hate editing, so I wasn't sure how it was going to come off.

Titles. They're the worst. I'm not good with names or titles. Often, I'll come up with the a place holder and write a few pages to get a feel for the story before settling on something to call the story. I'm never satisfied with my titles, either. When I was a kid, I'd name my stories after song titles, even if the song had nothing to do with what I was writing. I found it easier than trying to think of something catchy. Titles should grab your reader's attention, while giving some kind of hint at the theme(s) of your story. My problem, basically, comes down to me never really knowing what my stories are about until it's too late. To help make sure this post doesn't ramble too much (which it probably will), I should explain my writing process, so lets start with inspiration. I have no idea where most of my stories come from. I know that doesn't help, but that's just how it is. Inspiration can come from anywhere: a song lyric, a scent, a memory, a funny thing a friend says, etc. I spend a lot of time thinking, and sometimes, those thoughts will produce little bites or snippets that I largely dismiss; however, on occasion, they'll produce something thought provoking, something that makes my ADHD brain think, "Now, that could be something interesting." Often, it's a line of dialogue that gets my attention. I'm constantly running conversations in my head as means to process things in my life. These can range from a joke a want to tell a friend or something I wish I had said during an argument. I will take that bit of dialogue and expand upon it, going over what I would say and how I would say it, followed by the other person's reaction(s) and response(s), and I'll repeat this process until I can think of a plot in which I could set this story. Once I have that, I'll hold onto it until I can either start writing the story or can make a note of it, usually on a notepad app on my phone. Sometimes, like with this story, the inspiration is based (even loosely) on real events. I was abused as a child by my father. I won't go into details, since they're not necessarily relevant to this blog or story, but I will say that I spent a lot of time in silence, telling stories to myself, coming up with worlds where my father didn't exist, while being anything I wanted. I started writing these stories down as a means to process the trauma I was experiencing while having an emotional outlet. I learned to change people and events to code what I was going through, so I wouldn't get in trouble. As I got older, I continued doing this, but I would process other things, like guilt after lashing out at a friend or a means to deal with big feelings after being hurt by other people. Thicker Than Water is one of those stories. I was in an abusive friendship with someone who knew how to manipulate my emotions, while also occasionally sexually assaulting me. As a survivor of childhood abuse, I fell prey to this person's words and lies. At one point, things ended between us, then about a year later, he used his kids to worm his way back into my life, cultivated an attachment between myself and his kids, then once he got what he wanted, he tore that relationship apart, and I haven't seen the kids since. Needless to say, I'm still gutted by that and need to process things, hence this story. I told him that I was going to write a story based on what he did, but I never told him I was going to publish it. Some people might be concerned with being sued for liable or slander, but I'm not. If he ever tried, I would be free to write the real details, which are so much worse than what I'm presenting here in this story, and have plenty of evidence to substantiate. There's enough of reality in the story to help me remember facts and keep things consistent, but not enough for him to try anything legally. With that said, Chapter 1 was difficult to get started. I knew how I wanted to the story to start, which is rare feat, but I didn't know what to do with it. Originally, the story was going to focus on the characters of Calvin, Bryan, Caleb and Diego, with the boys being very small kids, having Bryan be in second grade. It was very close to the US version of the show Shameless. After writing a page or two, I deleted it. Diego was a vapid queen who was more of a caricature of a typical gay man, while trying to make Calvin come off as a sympathetic loser. I wasn't thrilled with either of those in the slightest, as I hate stereotypes and was too pissed at the real Calvin to want to make him sympathetic. I wanted people to know how I felt and why, and there was no way I could ever really redeem Calvin after everything he put me through. I took the opening of the first draft and retooled it, except I made Diego more like myself and how I would react to seeing Calvin. This scene is a mix of real events that put Calvin and his kids into my life. Diego uses the language I would and did use. His anger is on the same level as my own, and Calvin's reactions are very much on par with his real life counterpart. The circumstances surrounding how Calvin in the story got the boys is pretty much the same as how the real Calvin got his kids. The half-truths, lies, and concealing of information is exactly how the real Calvin operates, so it was easy to come up with what he'd say. And, how Diego drags the information out of Calvin is something I had to do to the real Calvin. The hardest part was having Diego take Calvin back and use the boys as a means to do it. That did happen in real life, which is why it was difficult, but hindsight creates too much pain. The ending of the chapter is loosely based on real life. The real Calvin didn't abandon the kids in my care, but he did abandon them with their mother a year before gaining custody. He had met a woman in Alaska and decided to be with her instead of his kids. He told he exactly what he said to his ex-wife just before he left, "Fuck you, fuck the kids. I don't want to have anything to do with you or them. When they turn 18, I'll find them and tell them the truth." Some dad, huh? So, in the story, I didn't find it "convenient," "unrealistic" or a "deus ex machina" to have Calvin abandon the boys with Diego to move across the continent for a woman, as the that's exactly what the real Calvin did. The reception of this chapter was welcomed with those who commented seeing what I wanted Calvin to be conveyed as. Sometimes I don't think I do a good job with the narration, and wonder if I'm getting my point across. I hate editing, and do it as little as possible. I have no doubt there are errors and things I would fixate on given the change, but I just move on and hope for the best. By this point in the writing process, I already had chapters 2 and 3 figured out, which will be discussed in detail in future posts. For the most part, I don't write out my plots and rarely take notes, even when I should. I let the story tell itself, and I just dictate through typing, with little editorial licensing. I don't ever seem them as my stories, but as someone else's that I have to write down for them. You could call it automatic writing or channeling, but I prefer to see it as transcribing events that are being told to me by the characters. This was a scary chapter to write. I honestly wasn't sure I was going to do it, and was even less sure that I was going to publish it. Normally, I don't let other people read my personal stories, but I'm glad I did with this one. See you in the next one, John.

Enquiring minds want to know....

I went over Diego's insecurities and issues in Chapter 15, so I didn't really feel the need to rehash them in this chapter. Bryan's snark, which is a self-defense mechanism, isn't meant to be cruel, and Diego knows that. It's more deflection from exploring his feelings instead of being mean.

Curiosity killed the cat, so goes the idiom.

As foolish (for want of a better word) Bryan is, he is cognizant enough to understand what Diego really means to him, and Diego took his time earning Bryan's trust starting from the beginning. He just let his anger get the better of him.

Agreed.

Are you sure the tension is broken?

Diego pulled into the driveway around six in the evening. He had managed to leave before the dinner rush really kicked off. It wasn't like he would've been much help in the end. His mind was too preoccupied with how he was going to approach Bryan about the phone without causing a mountain of drama. He didn't miss being a teenager, with the constant flooding of hormones, which made every discussion a battle of supremacy. He always marveled at how his parents raised five boys without at least one

Thank you, and I hope I can keep it good going forward.

After several edits, I think I got this right....

This is always an awkward situation, never knowing how to start a conversation that may very well be just to yourself that others may end up reading. To start, I guess, I hate first person narratives. You can tell a good writer from a bad writer based on how they use this perspective. A good writer using first person will give some insight into the mind of the lead character, such as suspicions, theories and point of view, which is used to drive the plot. A bad writer will focus more on the characters thoughts and feeling, going to into so much detail that it comes off as whining, pandering and self-indulgent. Most first person narrative I've read fall into the latter category, especially the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers. Bella is a brooding, angsty teen...cool. This doesn't make for a very interesting character or story, in my opinion. My fear with this blog is that it will come off as a bad narrative. I'm already annoyed by it as being self-indulgent as it is, but it will happen, as this story, Thicker Than Water, is a very personal story that involves some very personal issues. For those who have read the comment sections of the first 16 chapters will know, this is a story that is very loosely based on real people and actual events that have happened. This blog is intended to explore this deeper and expand on the comments made, while answering questions about my writing of the story, from inspirations, to the writing process itself, to what little editing I actually do. I think a blog written in third person is a horrible idea, so I'm stuck writing in first person. This leaves me with how to write it. I could be super formal or very laid back. I like narratives that are more conversational. I want to be talked to and not talked at, and I assume everyone else does, too. The reason why Shakespeare is still around hundreds of years later is because he used the language of the people and not the aristocracy. Yes, all of Shakespeare's plays are written in the common language of the time, including slang, since his works were for the common viewer and not those in the courts of Queen Elizabeth I or King James. I'm not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination. My point being that I want to keep things grounded and not be high brow with my narrative, which can be very tempting. So, why should I start a blog when I've been using the comments section already? Well, I've been using the comments section to just respond to comments, which helps with growing the audience, gaining those writing points so I don't need approval to post sooner, and to help tease things to come. I have expanded on the topics listed in the chapters from the comments made, but I've also kept things close to the chest. I personally don't care about hearing spoilers, but I also don't want to spoil something I'm writing for others; plus, if I reveal too much, I might lose interest in the project itself. Most writers have a superstition when it comes to letting people read something that isn't finished, which will result in inspiration or the idea just disappearing, and I'm very susceptible to that. This format of releasing a chapter at a time is relatively new to me, and so far, it's working well. How often will I be blogging? Maybe once a week, give or take? I want to have something to say when I do this, but I also don't want to set deadlines. I have enough of those as it is, and I want this to be something I want to do but not have to do. I will be going through each chapter, combing the comments section and writing a blog going over ideas I had when writing the story and expanding on some of the questions, so long as it doesn't lead to spoilers. I will welcome topic ideas and answer questions on what has been written so far, but I most likely won't answer anything that is to come. With that said, I think this is a good place to stop. I hate writing endings as much as I hate writing openings. I feel like some kind of tagline or inspirational catch phrase is required, but my brain battles that sort of thing, again, as being self-indulgent. If you've gotten this far, thank you. I will try to improve as each blog post is made. See you in the next one, John.

Agreed.

1. Creepers. 2. TNT. 3. Minecraft.

Diego isn't into corporal punishment, so Bryan won't get slapped; however, Bryan does deserve a sever tongue lashing at the very least.

Bryan is a teenager, and it's very rare to find one who only makes good decisions; most just fuck things up till they get it right. Kenny certain is/was the voice of reason in this chapter, and his anger is/was totally justified, even Bryan knows it. LOL, the fictional Calvin is probably smarter than the real "Calvin," but it might be a stretch to consider him that intelligent (and I'm trying not to give the Republicans any credit towards their collective intellect what so ever).

The problem is: What 14-year-old has their shit together?

Agreed, but we'll see if Diego asks for the phone before Bryan confesses the conversations....

“Are you planning on staying all day, Mr. Padilla?” Mr. Marx said, as Bryan walked into 2nd period. “You never know,” Bryan replied, as he took his seat. After skipping class the day before and missing a good deal already, he wasn't surprised by the saltiness of his teachers. “Alright class,” Mr. Marx called out. “Put away your things and get out a pencil. We're having a pop quiz.” The class groaned in unison. Bryan put his book in his bag and saw that he had a notification on his

The receptionist is the embodiment of white privilege and ignorance typical of a lot of Americans. As for Calvin's "prior behavior," his is actually based on what actually happened to me personally by the real "Calvin" but edited and drastically toned down. The real "Calvin" sexual assaulted me many times while we lived together, claimed that he was asleep every time he did it, but I couldn't do anything to him legally since there was no evidence. The conversation with his mother is almost verbatim to the conversation I had with the real "Calvin's" mother. As I stated before, this story is a means for me to process the things that I experienced with this person. As for Steve, he definitely has a role to play in this story.

I guess we'll have to see....

Maaaaybe...?

The consultation fee is in error on my part, which will actually pay off for something else down the line. Lawyers suck, but a man who represents himself has a fool for a client.

To be honest, I over looked the free consultation thing, but I found a work around as a plot device later on.